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When is it spanking? When is it abuse?

Many will quote the Bible verse “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” The Bible Says: “He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24) and “Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14).But this was written in the Old Testament.

But the New Testament adapts the parenting instruction advising that a Christian leader should be “one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence, (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?). So then in considering these verses located in I Timothy 2:4 and 5 we can draw the conclusion that a good Christian leader leads his family with Christian doctrine not by striking them. The ultimate authority is Christ so the wise parent lives a Godly life leading by example.

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Encourage not discourage your child.

A child is to be disciplined with grace not beaten into submission. It is not about breaking the will of your child, but building up your child. We are given instruction on how to not discourage but encourage our youth. Physical punishment may keep your child in line while you are present to inflict the punishment, but what happens once the child is on his or her own? A child who is grounded in faith has a foundation which is instilled and helps a child to make appropriate decisions on his or her own.

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. “

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs provides a promise and a command, not a suggestion.

Grace can undo poor child training and one of God’s gifts, His righteousness is one of the best instructional tools known to man. Train your child with consistency, God’s doctrine and by example tempered with grace and love. We cannot make our children righteous as it is a gift from God. We can teach them God’s word and by living in a Godly way, they will seek the righteousness of God. “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” Romans 10:17. Is the child hearing the word of God?

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The author of the best-selling book “Raising a Thinking Child, Myrna B. Shure PhD wrote in her book Thinking Parent, Thinking Child “I don’t say “Never spank” an occasional spanking won’t hurt your child, and it may legitimately relieve your own anger and frustration. However, if you rely on spanking, you’ll encounter many unintended consequences. Perhaps the most serious result is that it teaches your child to disregard his own feelings.” Caring for their own feelings is the first step towards learning empathy.

The following results are born from frequent and harsh spankings:

• Spanking can cause a child to feel overpowered and helpless leaving him or her angry and frustrated. Needing to regain power they may feel the need to exercise power over those who are less threatening to them. This is how a bully can be born.

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• A child may withdraw emotionally from the parent who spanks them frequently losing trust and an emotional bond with that parent. They may also rebel from the very values that parent is striving to instil.

• Spanking causes a child to avoid the behaviour which caused the spanking but not to think about proper behaviour.

• Spanking may teach a child that hitting is an appropriate way to express anger and they may lash out physically when they are angry.

In conclusion, spanking should not be the only form of punishment. A parent needs to learn how to instruct a child as to the consequences of bad behaviour in a positive way to make discipline a teaching tool. Train your child in the ethics of the law, not the letter of the law so they can make wiser choices and they will feel more confidence and a stronger self-esteem when faced with life’s trials.

                I was not yet born, but there were many who were turning 18 and heading to Vietnam; and one of those young men happened to be my dad. Some survived and others did not, while others suffered the unmentionable; they all encountered things that those of us who take our freedom for granted will never imagine. These young men, just like the young men over seas fighting for our freedom today are truly special individuals and as an American I am proud of each an every one of them.                 

Now I am not writing a war story, nor am I going to tell you the stories and horror; what I am going to tell you about is the pride I felt inside meeting and getting to know some of these brave men, personally. My dad, who will forever live in my heart, past leaving a big void in my life, but about two years ago he had been contacted by an individual that he fought along side with in the Vietnam war! Some of these fine men had been searching, meeting and communicating with one another for the last 6-7 years and now my dad became part of this group. It was about 6 years ago they held their first reunion; it must be difficult to attend a reunions and meet someone again for the first time in over 45 years. These fine young men were now older, but moved on with there lives, and today they are well rounded proud Marines. They have seen and remember things we cannot imagine, their experiences shaped them into who and what they are today.

                My brother and I got my Mom and Dad to a reunion the year before his passing;  there was some urgent need in my heart and the need to make it happen was in fact very important to me, and we did. Mom and Dad went to San Diego in 2010, and dad was in fact a bit nervous considering the last time he had seen these men was now fifty years ago. I guess he just did not know what to expect; the unknown can be very scary! They met, they talked, they laughed about the good ole days; while the wives, yes they too were invited they went shopping. In that week as well as the years that separated them now had narrowed, almost as if they had been together the entire time. Well as faith would have it my brother and I were so happy to have gotten them together that October, you see dad past away in February 2011, quite a surprise to all of us. He was laid to rest in a National Cemetery; for my dad is and will forever be, “One of the few and the Proud”, he is a Marine.

                Well, my family was honored to be invited to join their 6th Reunion, in Myrtle Beach South Carolina, and oh what a joy it was for me, because in each and everyone on of these Marines was a little something that reminded me of my dad; it was bittersweet and yet so beautiful. I felt a bond with them immediately; I had already developed a bond with one individual since the planning of the 5th reunion that my dad did not attend.

                I whole heartily believe that it was not only their training and discipline that they were taught fifty years ago that united them; but the fact that when you put you life into someone else’s hands over and over for weeks on end,  is that bond created that can NEVER be taken away.

                God Bless them all, JT, Watson, Clifford, Wales, Bolton, Wheeler, Brace and the wives of these fine men for protecting our country, and keeping the patriotism alive

How to discipline while promoting shallowness 

1. Be consistent 
2. Stick to the results and, when the kid is aware of you won’t admit defeat, the issues can scale back. 
3. Be clear concerning what behaviour you wish 
4. Rather than saying ‘Don’t run within the street’, say ‘Please keep by my aspect once we are within the street’. Saying what you wish provides the kid a transparent plan on a way to behave and is so additional seemingly to succeed. 

Use selections  consequences 

• Give the kid a alternative a few consequence. Say, “Either you facilitate tidy up currently, or we tend to wont head to the park nowadays.” 
• Show that you just acknowledge and settle for the rationale the kid is doing what, in your judgment, is that the wrong issue “You wish to play with the toy however…” This validates the legitimacy of the child’s needs and illustrates that you just are an understanding person. State the “but” “You wish to play with the toy, however Tom is using it right away.” This lets the kid grasp that others have wants, too. It teaches perspective taking, and will lead the kid to develop the flexibility to place himself in different people’s shoes. it’ll additionally gain you the child’s respect, for it shows you’re honest. 
• Demonstrate the proper thanks to do one thing 

• After firmly stating what’s to not be done, you’ll be able to demonstrate a way to do it. This sets firm limits, nevertheless helps the kid feel that you just  them are a team, not enemies. 

• Avoid accusation 
• Even with babies, communicate in respectful tones and words. This prevents a lowering of the child’s self-image and promotes their tendency to co-operate. 
• If kids have enough language, facilitate them specific their feelings. 
• Help them trust alternatives and solutions to issues. “You feel angry as a result of I won’t allow you to have sweets. i will be able to allow you to select a cracker or a pear. that does one want?” This encourages characteristics we would like to envision emerge in kids, like awareness of feelings and cheap assertiveness, and provides kids tools for solving issues while not unpleasant scenes. 

Do’s 

• Use clear, straightforward directions in a very firm, friendly voice to make sure kids don’t seem to be overwhelmed & refuse to comply as a result. 
• Do treat those around you with respect, kids can learn and imitate the behaviour they see around them. 
• Allow the kid to feel valued inspired.

Practising Tantra – Hindu-based disciplines specifically created for enhancing sexuality and spirituality – will inevitably lead to the wish to experiment with Tantric sex. This practice is widely discussed, instructors adamant  that their educational approach can help both couples and single people to will learn that getting in touch with inner feelings can indeed help to heighten awareness and expand sexual pleasure.

Courses offered to students include diverse topics such as human anatomy, various techniques of meditation and concentration on Hatha yoga postures, which come in several forms. This philosophy maintains that both sexes can learn to redirect their orgasms to various body parts, helping women can said increase potential for multiple orgasms.

Apparently, with practice, orgasmic heart flutters or mind blowing brain activity resulting from sex is just a matter of focusing and breathing in the right way, to achieve this every time. Many might question the need to redirect the orgasm, but both yoga and Tantra instructors claim this can be better for both partners.

When women do exercises to strengthen vaginal muscles, they can, during orgasm, relocate the sensation to the chest, making the feelings far more emotional, and men benefit from Tantra by learning how to redirect seminal fluids in the body. Normally, upon ejaculation men tend to flag slightly,  but by adopting certain Tantric breathing techniques, and re-directing the orgasmic experience, they can make lover for much longer than normal.  

Tantra does in reality have a spiritual element, in that, through sex, you are said to remain healthier, with heightened levels of consciousness intimacy. It is believed by Tantrists that the act of love-making can be vitally important in health and sickness, and even life and death themselves. An Ohio State University study saw two rabbit groups fed high cholesterol diets.

Amazingly, the one group, which had been cosseted by the researchers – though fed exactly the same as the other group, which was left strictly alone – accumulated 90% less fat in their blood vessels. In human bodies, arousal sends messages racing to sensory nerves at the base of the spine, while orgasm itself has brain structures being overwhelmed by such messages, causing the release of hormones like endorphins oxytocin, dopamine, and testosterone. making us feel great

Hormones are hugely influential in development of all our feelings, but each one is very different, medically speaking, and anyone sleeping with someone just for sex takes a risk, as oxytocin and vasopressin levels climb dramatically, these two, powerful chemicals producing perhaps unwanted feelings of attachment.

Dopamine is mostly associated with romantic love, often resulting in obsessive feelings about a sexual partner, long-term attachments favouring increased production of oxytocin.  Sex is said by many to be an instant cure for mild depression and insomnia. Also worth noting is that women produce double the amount of estrogen during sex, leading to shinier hair shiny and smoother skin.

Sex also burns up the stress hormone adrenaline, and boosts the immune system, some claiming claimed that so-called Sexercise is very good for the well being of all participants. Also good exercise, both for the mind and body are both Tantra and Hatha yoga techniques.

Sensual massage is without doubt a powerful erotic tool, and the practiced Tantric lover – with the mental ability to withhold ejaculation – can obviously prolong the love making, serving to heighten the experience even more for both parties. It seems certain that practising yoga could give couples a whole new perspective.

Not only, however, on better ways of approaching the opposite sex, but also on improving both states of health and their sex lives. The mind, as any yoga teacher will tell you, is the most powerful weapon in the war against unhealthy lifestyles. Yoga based sexual practice sounds like a lot of fun, so why not give yoga classes some serious thought?

Sex is now, officially, great exercise, if you do it often enough, but anything that you can add to spice it up even more just has to be worth investigating.  Don’t dismiss things out of hand because they seem a little odd.  That could be the best reason you will ever find for giving them a try.  Better health and better sex, and all there for the asking.  What are you waiting for?  

Every person sometimes struggles against negative impulses.  Human beings often have an inner desire to break rules and do evil.  No one takes a course in negative behavior, we take courses in how to reverse it, how to deal with it.  We have “ethics” classes, because ethics have to be learned.  No one teaches a student to be disrespectful, but they learn it though modeling and pick it up from others.  Bad morals, bad habits, bad ethics are learned easily, and they are harder to remove.

In addition, maybe students live without boundries.  Human nature is to push the limit of boundries to unexeptable behavior.  Educators must find a way to set boundries and have negative consequences.  In many ways, conditioning is the most powerful teacher.  A small child who burns their hand on a stove will learn the negative consequences and will avoid the hot stove in the future.  We have unfortunatly removed many of the negative consequences from students.

Educators must remember that a negative consequence is for the good of the student.  As students grow, when they are young, they are usually in a more forgiving and nurting enviroment.  By taking the opportunity to reinforce good behavior and discipline bad behavior, the student will learn boundries and guidelines.  If these values are not learned young, the consequences will increase, in the workplace with termination, legally with incarceration, loss of relationship.  Our students must learn today the skills they need for tomorrow, and must learn to leave behind the behaviors that will keep them from being successful.

Hostility (Photo credit: crdotx)

My six-year-old son doesn’t like to clean his room.  Instead of cleaning his room without dispute, he argues and whines.  When I told him to clean his room, he tried to make excuses to not clean it.  This ended up into an argument between my son and I. I yelled at him when things got heated.  I threatened to spank him if he didn’t get in his room and clean it.  My beliefs were that he was trying to argue with me because he didn’t want to clean it and that he was trying to test me like he always does.  I believed that if I didn’t get him to clean his room, he would end up never cleaning it and it would be a horrible mess for me to clean up.  I believed that the only way I would get him to clean his room is if I yelled at him to insure that he knew I was serious.  The consequences of these beliefs were that I only became more angry and I yelled at him.  This in turn made the argument bigger with me yelling and my son crying and yelling back at me.  Instead of believing I would never get him to clean his room, I should have instead not fueled the argument by yelling and stuck him in his room until he decided to clean his room to show that I was serious.  Even if he was trying to delay it so he wouldn’t have to clean it, he would have been stuck in his room for him to deal with his anger until he calmed down and decided to clean his room.  This in turn would show that he can’t test my authority.  Having this type of goal makes me feel more in control of my emotions.  It also makes me feel secure in knowing that next time he tries to argue to get out of cleaning his room, I have consequences set to let him know that he can’t do this.

In class, it was discussed that hostility leads to heart disease.  “The higher percentage of hostility is equal to the higher percentage of heart disease.”  So, the more hostility that is shown, the more likelihood that heart disease will develop in those people.  In the video we saw in class, they were discussing how punching a punching bag when mad might or might not decrease anger.  In fact, the video explains “there is no scientific evidence that punching a punching bag works.”  This type of expression only breeds more aggressiveness.  It was also explained in class with the video that “anger doesn’t help relationships, it only makes them worse.  Consequences need to happen instead of yelling and screaming.”  So, yelling when people get angry only breeds more aggressiveness.  This can also increase chances of health problems in the future.  Instead of yelling, people may need to step away for a moment to calm down and come back when they are calm.  Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is “A type of therapy that aims to develop beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, and skills to make positive changes in behaviors.” (Health Psychology Linda Brannon and Jess Feist).  If someone has issues with controlling their thoughts when they are angry, they should seek out Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy.

In Health Psychology class, the instructor handed out a questionnaire for us all to fill out and score ourselves on hostility.  There were 3 dimensions that were scored.  The first dimension was cynicism, which is defined as: “a mistrusting attitude regarding the motives of people in general, leading one to be constantly on guard against the “misbehavior” of others.”  The second dimension was anger, which is defined as: “the emotion so often engendered by the cynical person’s expectation of unacceptable behavior on the part of others.”  The third dimension on this test was aggression, which is defined as: “the behavior to which many hostile people are driven by the unpleasant negative emotions of anger and irritation.”  As I scored myself on this test, I was actually surprised by my scores.  I don’t see myself as an angry or hostile person because I don’t show it too often, but this test showed me that I may be wrong.  On the cynicism dimension, I scored a 4.  On the anger dimension, I scored a 7.  This means I need to work on ways to reduce it.  On aggression, I scored a 5, which means I’m borderline on this dimension on this level as well.  on cynicism and aggression, I didn’t score that high.  But, I’m surprised on how much I scored on anger.  On question 13, I answered that “I am apt to keep thinking about something for hours if someone treats me unfairly.”  This is true, I tend to dwell on things too much instead of letting them go.  On question 16, I answered “when I am caught in a slow-moving bank or supermarket line I usually start to fume at people who dawdle ahead of me.”  I do tend to get impatient if I’m standing in a long line, but I don’t start to yell at people in front of me because I don’t feel it’s their fault.  I get impatient and keep it inside.  I usually think that it’s the fault of the cashiers and managers.  Usually, I think that there’s not enough cashiers to help the customers, and that’s what makes me impatient.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is a good technique to use with hostile people.  I believe this can help greatly with controlling aggressiveness.  When I thought of ways I should act with my son when cleaning his room, I believ that it helped me cope with it in better ways.  It helped me have goals in the future so that way I can deal with my anger in a more effective way.  It makes me feel good to know that I have other ways to deal with my son.  Thinking of ways to deal with it effectively gives me confidence in myself for the fact that I can actually think of better ways to deal with it.  I just hope that I can remember this the next time I get angry and my son tries to argue with me when it’s time to clean his room.  Strengths on using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is that it helps people cope with their issues in other ways than using aggression.  It can give people confidence when these strategies are used because they may have thought of these strategies on their own.  It can also give them confidence because they actually used these methods instead of resulting to aggression.  On top of these benefits, it also can help with future health problems by dealing with anger respectively.  But, there also may be weaknesses to using Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy in coping with aggression and hostility.  One issue is that the person who seeks out therapy needs to realize they need the help in dealing with their hostility.  People who don’t want the help, can’t get the help they need because they’re refusing to change.  Another weakness to Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy is that sometimes emotions may be so high that people may not want to or not think about the alternative way to react to their anger.  Overall, I believe Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy can be a great way to decrease hostility and aggression.  But, it does have weaknesses as well.

That may be true, but I believe that God has some closer destinations He wants us to reach before we get to Glory. Achieving those destinations should be a major priority for all of us. God hasn’t only called you to salvation; He has also given you a unique purpose, a destination that you — and you only — are meant to reach. The highest end of your life as a Christian is to glorify God by finding that purpose and then optimizing its fulfilment.

Look at Paul. He said of his work as an apostle, “This one thing I do.” Be honest: How many of us could say that? Most of us would have to admit, “These fifty things I dabble in!” Yet experience itself should teach us that dabbling merely frustrates us by multiplying the effort and diminishing the returns. What we need is a rigorous method of organizing the future so that when it becomes the present we know what we want to do with it. It’s a technique that people have been talking about for a long time and not doing properly. It’s called goal-setting.

Getting Ahead in the Goal Game

Christians can be particularly bad at goal-setting. Maybe that’s because they see their lives as being controlled from the outside. Ask the typical Christian why he has no goals and he’s likely to reply, “I’m waiting on the Lord.” But as Dwight L. Moody once said, “It’s all right to wait on the Lord as long as you hustle while you wait!”  Most of our limitations are not imposed on us by God — we impose them on ourselves. Loneliness encourages this effect. To a lonely person the future looks like a wasteland — miles of rough country that he’s going to have to traverse on foot. If he’s the Ugly Duckling, the prospect will stimulate his sense of inadequacy, and he will prefer to ignore the problem, diverting his attention to something else instead.

The goal-setter, however, sees much more than a wasteland. To his eye, that stony terrain is crossed by a brand-new highway — all he has to do is get down and build it. Goal-setting is not just the opposite of the inertia produced by loneliness — it is a way of overcoming that inertia. It integrates the entire personality and makes for emotional wholeness. But it needs a kick-start, and for that you’ll want to cultivate two qualities.

First, decisiveness. Loneliness by its very nature deals with wisps, phantoms, unrealities, and speculations. For the lonely person, decision comes last on the list of priorities, because it orients the decision-maker toward one set of possibilities and cuts him off from all the rest. The Latin root of the word “decision” means precisely that — to cut off. But decisiveness is vital. You must focus your energies if you’re going to get the future under control and win over loneliness.

 Goal-setting is like getting both eyes in focus. Jesus stressed the importance of having a “single eye” — a single purpose, objective, or goal. That applies to the whole of life, not only the matter of commitment to Christ. James tells us that “a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8). God doesn’t want double-minded, indecisive disciples; He wants dedicated men and women who pursue and achieve their objectives. Don’t misunderstand me — I’m not advocating workaholism here. The workaholic depends on work to compensate for inadequacy in other areas of his life. But the goal-setter isn’t running away from anything. He’s taking control and making maximum use of his resources to cover the full range of his responsibilities. This means that, unlike the workaholic, he can put his business down at the end of the day and still be free from loneliness.

Second, goal-setting requires discipline. It takes some courage to commit yourself to a goal. Doing so involves a certain finality, an awareness of responsibility, and a willingness to pass the point of no return. But once declared, a war must be waged to the end. There is no point in making a decision, setting a goal, and then chickening out because the going gets tough. Sure, there are risks — that’s part of the deal. The battle to win over loneliness is no soft option. I warned you that you’d need discipline, and this is one place you need it!

 It takes no discipline at all to sunbathe in self-pity, and very little discipline to tackle loneliness with the block-out and the face-lift described earlier. Discipline isn’t easy. But if the discipline involved in goal-setting is making you think twice, consider for a moment the reasons you don’t want to take it on.

It could be that you’re afraid. Forging a new way of life brings an encounter with the unknown. That can be scary. It’s far more comfortable to repeat tomorrow what we’ve done today, no matter how miserable or dishonourable today’s activities have been — better the devil you know than the devil you don’t! But think: Isn’t it better to have no “devil” at all?

You may be too proud. Nobody likes to admit he’s been wrong, and a change in lifestyle implies that strongly. Loneliness, in particular, has such a stigma attached to it that you’d probably die before telling your friends about it. But at this point, I have to ask you what you want. Do you want to shore up the feeble defences of your own ego, or do you want freedom? Pride is a poor excuse for misery. In any case, your friends probably already know that you’re lonely (they’re probably lonely too). What do you have to lose?

Finally, you may be lazy. Yes, lazy. In adulthood many people develop a sort of mental inertia. They may not like loneliness, and they may not exactly be afraid of the new ideas and experiences that will help them win over it, but they’re held back because they can’t be bothered to make the effort. Misery isn’t pleasant, but at least it’s free. Well, once again: What do you want — ease or liberation? It’s up to you. Remember that mental inertia isn’t something that a goal-setter is stuck with for long. Once you get into goal-setting, your whole state of mind will change. It works like a vacation.

Once taken outside its familiar routines, your mind will become more elastic, more ready to respond with speed and accuracy, more like the mind of Christ. And the mind of Christ is alert, not atrophied; bright, not bored; creative, not constricted; dynamic, not dull; energetic, not enervated! J.E. Haggai.

I. L. SAMBO ESQ.

ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, ARBITRATOR &

CAPITAL MARKET CONSULTANT.

Abuja – Nigeria.

EMAIL: ilsambo@yahoo.com

29/2/2012

They look nice, maybe useful even, but who needs them in February?  Well, it did not take me too long to admit that one of those people is me. I quickly got one from the shelf and headed for the counter, not even waiting for my wife who was busy checking her list for groceries.

Of course there are plenty of softwares and templates for diary planners available online and I have been using one for my work. They can be very convenient to use and by keyword search you can recover all the data the managing director wants on any transaction if you use them religiously.  However, something in me still want to have a diary planner  filled up in paper rather than behind the computer screen.

Looking at the new planner, I feel a bit of excitement at rediscovering the pleasure of having a written diary planner. I imagine waking up in another year and then looking at a religiously filled planner  with pages yellowing with time. In it, written would be goals, plans, hopes, worries and anticipations of the future that will have already  passed. Perhaps, I will have a clear accounting of all memories pleasant and otherwise. Perhaps, I will have a better perspective of what went well and what did not based on the goals, what was done day in and day out leading to the deadline.  Perhaps, with the contents of the planner, I can reevaluate the skill sets necessary to take things further, to get over the hump.

“Twenty dirhams”, I heard the cashier say. I was awakened from the trance and handed her the exact notes. At the same time, I realized that I was in that sort of trance for many years in my life—–daydreaming, recalling, romanticizing until somebody calls you out for something that has already become urgent. And that could not happen if you use a diary planner well. For, more than anything, a well-filled diary planner is a written testament to one’s discipline, one’s commitment to see any goal through, to keep with the present. Romanticizing about the passage of time could come later.

How happy we started with women’s liberation or equality for women to be given her chance to perform, because only once we trained them for housework (now none). I say we really overcome, but some professionals involved in both earning good salaries and husbands jealous and envious, he left all the burden on women. They became the house and looked irresponsible men or young to see how many lines I put my machismo to the extent of the bride ask “how much you make?”.  To see if their economies were to increase or decrease. I must say that women also see their mothers by household, excellent battered housewives and some irresponsible became preferred to be in their workplaces and the famous “sexual harassment”, and several have fallen cuerpomático (pay with the body) solve or justify their income , on vacation get bored at home and housework more fortunately when they have chances of getting hired, or if you are fortunate to have a mom, aunt or grandmother to care for their kids and make food and chores, much better.
The worst thing is that we do not have time to live with the couple, much less play or talk with their children because they buy to placate them what they ask and leave education to the servants or nurseries.
Everything well organized to enjoy the true home with the help of God, you can, if you will allow time for the husband, children and work. Unfortunately many, not all make use of the handcuffs and they spend at home. They acquire services or open an account in which only they have access.  Another joint, with a little to spare, for women to contribute more.
That is reality and there are few who want to marry as a real home, married, which means house of two, who will begin their married life with the love of his life, partner, girlfriend, friend and loving every sexual experience is different and not one gets bored, watch out, when there is love.
There are many women who are mom, dad and mothers, who get their children to go forward with love and discipline. I admire them because they sacrifice as parents abandoned their children are involved. So there are deobligation both men and women who work.
I am a teacher, God led me and lit to meet and be responsible, not perfect, because as fathers or mothers, always fail at something, especially if you got a sick child, as all attention focused on him and the other children suffer from lack of love.
Let us ask God for wisdom in order to meet our various roles in life and instill the love and fear God, because what we sow, reap, living surrounded by care and love if the home environment avoid lawsuits, lack of love for children, parents, spouses and grandparents

I call her Mademoiselle because she was the epitome of dignity and poise. She was quite big for an average cow, with large brown and white patches all over her body, and an exceptionally long tail. It was so long that it almost touched the ground and had a bunch of lush dark brown hairs, attached to its end. The hairs looked shiny as if freshly shampooed. I couldn’t gather how she managed that. When she walked, her long tail swayed gracefully from side to side and one couldn’t help admiring her back side. Don’t judge me, for I am but an animal lover…and of course, no pun is intended here.

I first saw her when taking a shortcut to the office. The main roads are unbelievably clogged with traffic during the morning rush hours. I tried a diversion by a narrow road that passed through a market area called Neelasandra. The road was not more than 10-12 feet wide, with a fair amount of that captured by push carts (selling various contraptions and goodies) being pushed or stationed too close to the roads, wrongly parked two, three and four wheelers, dogs, cats, a good number of Homo Sapiens in the form of school children, ladies in nighties (a nightwear resembling a nun’s robe except for the latter’s snug fit), cyclists criss crossing for no logical reasons and of course, the cows. The last category was the most undisciplined, using the road for extremely selfish and other reasons. While a cat or a dog would think twice before crossing such a busy road, cows would relax, adamantly sitting right across it, peacefully chewing their respective cuds. I have a hunch that they know their privileged status in India and take great advantage of that fact. They would either look at you with a mocking smile or ignore your angry stare with their nose high up in the air. If you happen to stare long enough, they dismiss you with a quick sideways movement of their necks.Madam Cow was however refreshingly different from her brethren in Neelasandra. She was a lot bigger than most and as if understanding her ‘difference’, was never seen in company. When I first saw her on the market road, she was walking in the same direction that I was driving, and I had a good view of her behaviour. She was walking well clear of the road and moving away every time she saw an approaching vehicle. I was amazed by her good road discipline, even if not as much as her charming rear.  There was a right turn, around 200m on this mad road, after which one could hit a much wider road with a drastic change in scenery…..a canal on one side and a residential layout on the other.  

 While coming back, I decided to take the same road. After that day, I regularly took this diversion, as I much preferred this messy market madness to the madness of incessantly blaring horns and rash undisciplined driving of fellow passengers. Besides, this was only a 200m stretch, and the rest of the route was amazingly free of traffic. I must admit here though, that I enjoyed this crazy stretch than the traffic free remainder of the route. I saw Madam Cow regularly on the market road in the mornings and on the wider road in the evenings. We seemed to share our office hours and the direction of travel so much so that I wouldn’t have recognised her if I ever came face to face with her. I could recognise only her rear. Interestingly, on the wider road, she walked right on the centre line unperturbed by traffic zipping on either side. She perhaps liked to continue walking straight, without having to change course time and again, as was the case when she was on the market road. She seemed aware that she could do that as the road was wider and the traffic moving in either direction would not be affected. As soon as she reached the market road, she would promptly move to the right side of the road.

Then one day, I did not see her. This was very unusual and I experienced acute overall discomfort. I was used to seeing her every morning and her sight always provided me a strange peace of mind. Her sudden absence filled me with a sense of foreboding. I looked for her desperately, without luck. I spent the day with a heavy heart and by evening, was full of anticipation. I started a little early and reached our general area of rendezvous, with lot of hope. I cannot express my disappointment when I failed to see her. A great sadness descended on me. I was irritable in the office and at home that day. I somehow felt cheated.

I did not see her the next day, and the days after. Every day hope and disappointment engulfed me in that order in the morning and evening for the next 12 days. On the 13th day, with a hugely deflated hope, I reached the market road. I wasn’t really expecting to see her but I suddenly spotted her on the right side of the road (where else!). She looked much smaller than before but her large brown and white patches and the long tail gave her away. Besides, I could recognise her in the most crowded of places, with that unmistakable, beautiful gait. My heart leapt with joy at her sight and the joy almost doubled (if that was possible!), when I saw a tiny replica, quietly following her with equal dignity, discipline, poise and that exceptionally long tail. I welcomed, with all my heart, the disciplined ‘generation next’ of Madam Cow.