I woke up with a start this morning, realising that it is the 1st January 2011, and that I have yet to shed the ‘flu so that I can relax on the three days before the working year begins once again!

Life is just too busy. Even our holidays are filled with things that have to be done. Shopping for Christmas, buying tranquilisers to calm the dog against the onslaught of New Year fireworks, making sure that telephone numbers for friends are still current so that we can call them on New Years Day, and on, and on it goes.

I guess this is what it means to be part of society. Visiting friends and relatives, when sitting at home with a glass of wine seems a far more pleasant proposition. Sending out e-cards to everyone, including aunt Ada, who never responds because she probably doesn’t know who I am, leaving Skype on in the vain hope that overseas family will do as they said, and will shortly call us. 

For a few precious days the drudge of travelling to work is replaced by a sleep-in, by catching up on e-mails, by writing for Triond, by adding pages to the skeleton of the novel, and by just being with the family. Now it has flown by, and work, the necessary evil that keeps us alive, beckons again.

Maybe we will do it differently at the end of this year, and we will really relax, rather than just planning to do so!

Happy New Year!!

Image by foxypar4 via Flickr

The Art of Communication

By John B T

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Obama Example

Barak Obama won the US 2008 presidential election for a list of reasons, and high on the list would be his ability as a communicator. Obama’s power of oratory, his use of phraseology, his clear and concise messages; his control of the communication process and his ability to connect with his audiences are consummate. These skills can be learned.

If we want success in life we need to be able to communicate with people in a way that relates to them beneficially and preserves or increases our stature.

Throughout the presidential campaign Barak Obama used powerful, audience connection phrases such as: “This time must be different!” “Yes we can!” “A fundamentally new direction!” “Our moment is now!” “One voice!” and at least two powerful single word phrases: “Change!” and “You!” President Obama made such a powerful visual, relevant and vocal connection with his audiences that it became a matter of process for him to enter the White House. There are lessons in this for us all.

The Purpose

We need to consider the nature and purpose of any communication process we are intending to enter into; is it to be primarily of social or formal (academic, professional or business) relevance. And what do we want the communication to achieve. What is the goal?

We could say the whole of life is a social arena, but for the sake of this message let’s define social as other than formal. We humans spend most of our communication time in the social arena; be it at home with family and friends, or with work colleagues during breaks and after work hours, and with other peer groups such as school and college friends. There are different norms for these different types of communication, and all too often we confuse or frustrate the communication process by not thinking about these different norms.

Social communication can be ambivalent and is commonly not structured; its main purpose is for the enjoyment, maintenance and development of human connections. Its ambit is broad. Like the wind it changes direction often. But if we use the relaxed rules of social communication in a formal situation we are heading for problems. And all too often this is what we do.

Mode

Once the purpose of communication is established then the mode of communication needs to be chosen; for example, do we want the communication process to be conversational and interactive, such as a conversation or phone call, or; do we want a one way information transfer such as can be achieved by an e-mail, a text, a letter, or by a formal speech. The conversational mode is intrinsically a multi-line communication mode. A written mode such as an e-mail or letter is a mono-line mode; that is the message is composed and delivered without interaction or interruption. A formal speech is also a mono-line mode.

Multi-Line

A conversation cannot occur without at least two participants. Therefore, with two participants, there are two lines of communication; one in each direction between the two; one person speaks while the other listens, and vice-versa. This is a multi-line process.

But what happens when we introduce a third person to the conversation? We have only increased the participants by 50% but we have increased the lines of communication by 200%. There are three persons now, A, B and C. A has a line with B and B has a line with A (two lines). But A has a line with C and C has a line with A (two more lines); and B has a line with C and C has a line with B (two more lines). There are now six lines of communication when previously we only had two. Therefore the potential for misunderstanding and misinformation has increased dramatically.

Let’s take this exercise further by introducing another participant. With four participants the conversation is increasingly complex because we have increased the participants by a further 33.3% but we have increased the lines of communication by a further 100%. We now have A, B, C and D. A has a line with B and B has a line with A (two lines). A has a line with C and C has a line with A (two more lines). B has a line with C and C has a line with B (two more lines). But D has a line with each of A, B, and C and they reciprocate with D; this is six more lines of communication, or 12 lines in total. The potential for misunderstanding and misinformation has further increased dramatically. If we introduce a fifth person to the conversation there will be 20 lines of communication, and the chance of having a meaningful, integrated and advantageous communication with any one participant is practically non existent.

In a social arena multi-line communication may be all that is required; in fact it is essential for group cohesion. But multi-line should not be accepted as the best communication platform for the delivery of accurate and essential messages.

Mono-line

The mono-line communication process, such as an e-mail, a letter, a memo (note), a cell phone text or a formal speech, is the best way of delivering essential information. But there are pitfalls.

It is inhumane and foolish to degrade, defame or insult another person yet often the mono-line communication process is used for this purpose, particularly cell-phone texting. Good communicators can achieve their ends without being negative or destructive.

Communication that increases the initiator’s stature and is beneficial to the recipient should always be the goal. The majority of our mono-line communications are inoffensive but, occasionally, being human, we get it wrong and damage can be done. Therefore the norms should be: think before we act, if in doubt don’t do it, seek the advice of someone we trust if we can’t decide on the message content and remember, the written word is enduring, particularly in our electronic media world.

Case Study

Joe, a pleasant 20 year old male, met Jane a pleasant 18 year old female while he was purchasing takeaway food at the diner she works at part-time. Joe knows he is interested in Jane and he thinks Jane is interested in him because of the lingering conversation she engaged him with while cashing of his purchase. Joe wants to get to know Jane. What should he do? Wait until she has a break in her customer line and then ask her for a date? Or go away and think about it? He should go away and think about it. Why? Because he needs time and more information on which to make a communication decision. And he needs to avoid being offensive in order to preserve his stature. He knows where Jane works and he knows the name she goes by as it’s on her work badge, and that’s enough information for Joe at this stage. Life is not lived in an instant, it has duration, so take time and consider others.

Joe could go back to the diner at the same time next week to purchase food. Chances are it’s Jane’s regular time slot on the job. Joe could have checked with his friends, male and female, to see if a get-together could be arranged so that if he does invite Jane to the event, it is less personal and therefore less challenging.

Let’s say Joe does go back to the diner the next week; he’s made the arrangement with his friends for a get-together; Jane is on the job and she is cashing up his purchase. What does he say to her? Well it depends on how Jane is communicating with Joe compared with last time. We need to remember that not all communication is verbal; some of it is attitudinal and some of it is body language; but it is still legitimate communication, and to the person sending it there is a depth to it.  If Jane is dismissive of Joe and looking to the next customer; in other words not giving the same ‘vibes’ that Joe thought she gave last time; Joe should give it a miss. He should go no further. Joe needs to respect Jane and preserve his own stature. Also Jane has a legal right not to be harassed.

If, on the other hand, Jane is responsive then it could confirm that she is interested in Joe. Joe has already put an appropriate platform in place by making the arrangement with his friends. What should Joe do now? Joe should have a written note ready with his first name and phone number on it. Nothing else should be on the note. But before he hands the note over Joe should say something like “Nice talking to you;” this is honest and not overtly personal. If Jane doesn’t come back to him on this then Joe should leave it alone, at least for another week. No harm has been done and Joe can still buy his food at the diner. If on the other hand, Jane comes back to Joe with “Nice talking to you too,” or the like, then Joe could take it further; he could invite Jane to the get-together. If she agrees then Joe gives Jane his note. Joe should not ask for Jane’s phone number or address at this stage. He should leave Jane in control and thereby preserve his own stature and integrity.

We’re not talking absolutes here, but we are talking about thinking it through. We are talking about thinking of the other person. We are talking about what should be communication norms : think before we act, if in doubt don’t do it, seek the advice of someone we trust if we can’t decide on the message content and remember, the written word is enduring.

Joe used the multi-line communication mode (two way conversation) with Jane, and he may have used the mono-line (his note). The multi-line best served the social agenda and the mono-line best served the essential information transfer. This is how thoughtful communicators work.

Of course the situation could be reversed; Jane could be the initiator and Joe the respondent; but similar protocols should be observed.

There are good books on interpersonal etiquette available at most book stores in their self help or personal section. For a social novice or someone not confident in the social arena such a book may be a good investment.

The Formal Meeting Process

Going back to the multi-line communication mode, which can include phone calls and e-phone calls, we can see there are limitations to it with regard to formal procedures such as business meetings.

The formal meeting, which should include a facilitator or chairperson as the controller, and a notary or secretary as the record taker, has developed because there is a need for it. In the multi-line communication process, where people come together and converse as previously shown, the communication lines grow exponentially with each new participant. Therefore the ability to resolve issues rapidly disappears unless controls are put in place.

But the formal meeting is a controlled mixture of mono-line and multi-line processes. The meeting is usually opened by the facilitator or chairperson (chair) around an itemized agenda. The opening is usually a short (mono-line) welcome speech. Then the notary goes through the process of recording those attending, recording proxies, and recording apologies; this is a controlled multi-line process. Then the agenda is worked through from the chair by a series of mono-line, and controlled multi-line, interactions.

For example; the agenda will usually have notices of motion that relates to each item that needs resolution. Each notice of motion will have a proposer and sometimes a secondary proposer or list of secondary proposers; this depends on the constitution of the organization that is meeting. The chair will then invite the proposer to introduce, and speak in support of the motion; this is a mono-line speech which the chair ensures is not interrupted. Then the motion is opened from the chair for discussion.

This discussion is controlled by the chair, who has to ensure equal time is given to those who support the motion and those who oppose it. Dependant on how contentious the issue is, the chair may allow a multi-line discussion by way of conversation between the constituents, but the chair has to ensure the notary is able to record the discussion and correctly attributes authorship on each point raised.

If the meeting comprises a large group then the chair will control the discussion of the motion by a series of mono-line speeches addressed through the chair. If this did not happen then the meeting could not resolve the motion in a legally binding manner; particularly if those opposing the motion did not have their points recorded by the notary.

Once equal time has been given to both sides, then the chair closes the discussion by giving the proposer the opportunity to address opposing concerns. This may result in an amended motion which the meeting proceeds to vote on. This is called due process and is part of parliamentary procedure. This sort of process is a legal requirement binding on all publically open institutions in most democratic nations and should occur at least once a year. This is binding on a local sports club, a PTA group, a church group, a share holder company, and any organization that is open to the public. It is also the basis of operation of town or city council meetings, of court hearings and of all democratic parliamentary procedures.

There are many good books on formal meeting procedures and any good communicator will own at least one, so check out your local book store. The chance of being involved in a formal meeting at some stage of life is high.

The Formal Speech

The Obama example is to the forefront here. Do a Google or You-Tube search on Obama speeches, particularly those that occurred prior to the election. Watch and listen to them.

The first rule for a formal speech is: be honest. Don’t include anything in a speech that is not verified or validated. If using statistics quote the source. If referring to scientific data quote the bibliography. If we want to be taken seriously, if we want success, then this rule is inviolable.

The second rule is: connect with the audience. We need to know what the audience expects to hear; we need to be relevant. In other words we need to prepare for the speech. We need to know the demographics of the audience. For example, how often is a speech delivered to an audience that has hearing impaired, or English as a second language, participants without considering their needs? This happens more often than it should. In this time of electronic media, a power point English and other language translations is easy to present alongside our verbal delivery. For little or no cost it is often possible to get the service of a sign language interpreter. Check out your local hearing association for this service.

The third rule is: never be offensive. Never make religious, political or cultural reference that will alienate any part of the audience. If we want success we need to be inclusive. We’re not talking Political Correctness here but we are talking about collecting people together in a way that advances our status and benefits the hearer.

The forth rule is: use a little humor. If we want people to remember our speech we need to cause them to laugh a little. This is relevant in most situations from christenings to funerals; and from graduations to parliamentary addresses. We’re not talking about performing as a standup comic but we are talking about reducing tensions or stress levels to the point where the audience is receptive and ready to hear us.

The fifth rule is: be real. Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not. Be the person you are because that’s the person the audience is interested in seeing and hearing.

There are excellent books on public speaking at good book shops; a good communicator will own at least one.

Bye for now.

This is a definite example of critical thinking. This answer will deal with ideas as to why Rita is a critical thinker and Shilpa is not a good critical thinker.

It says that the mail looked authentic. Although, something seems right a critical thinker’s first aim would be to question it. That shows the passionate drive of a critical thinker in finding out accurate information. Rita did so by looking up the address of the Marketing Manager in the Tokia company webpage. Shilpa did not bother to do so and ended up wasting her time and also the time of twenty other people. On the contrary, Rita wrote directly to the Marketing Division Manager and received a prompt answer that the e-mail message was a fraud.

When Rita received the mail she thought about this. This is an important aspect of a critical thinker and you can’t say the same for Shilpa. Shilpa did not look up the address of the Marketing Manager the way Rita did. This shows an important feature of how Rita thought critically and was disciplined in her thinking. Also, the quest for the truth on Rita’s part was admirable in terms of critical thinking. A critical thinker’s ultimatum is to acquire the truth in any affair. Rita did this and Shilpa did not do so.

Rita was looking for the accuracy of the mail. It is vital to have accurate information because bad selections are made based on false details. When there are inadequate facts, then people will have to go through much trouble and end up getting the wrong answer. This is what happened to Shilpa as opposed to Rita who made sure to get the genuineness of the e-mail checked. Shilpa skipped this crucial step along with several other things that needed to be done when she blindly proceeded to forward the e-mail.

Rita was also attempting to get precise information. That is, to get hold of particulars that others may have overlooked. As a result she thought independently and aimed for precision or exactness which is one of the critical thinking standards. Shilpa did not worry to do so. Shilpa lacked precision which is typical of a critical thinker in not habitually seeking out the exact thing she was facing. This meant that Shilpa was acting on phony information.

Rita did not blindly act on the message like Shilpa. Shilpa seemed to have been narrow-minded. Narrow-mindedness is a barrier to critical thinking. Shilpa also showed a tendency to fall prey to conformism. These are also barriers to critical thinking. The problem is that most human beings believe what they are told and do not think for themselves. Generally, thinking is better when it is deep rather than shallow and this is specifically what Rita did.

With regard to the scenario, there are some practical inconsistencies and logical inconsistencies. The practical consistency was that the message said one thing but in reality was doing something else. It said it would reward readers who forwarded it, but actually it was promoting chain letters and harassing Tokia Company. Logical inconsistency is present too as Shilpa is guilty of being involved in believing inconsistent things that cannot all be true. Shilpa believed in the electronic note which was false.

The whole process came to a halt with Rita. It was made public that the e-mail was a hoax and Tokia would not honour the reward. Rita had succeeded in getting the solution and this is a highly essential characteristic of a critical thinker as they are able to get to the heart of an issue without being distracted. In the case of Shilpa, she kept the cycle of chain letters going which was really a pointless exercise. Conversely, Rita contemplated logically and drew a well-founded conclusion.

Shilpa made an unwarranted assumption that Tokia would be giving away a free cellular phone. An unwarranted assumption is where things are taken for granted without good reason. Rita did not close her mind by merely assuming things but made steps to see for herself whether what was presented to her was right. She was searching for facts to support the authenticity of the e-mail and not putting her hopes on something baseless.

Shilpa was merely indulging in wishful thinking. Wishful thinking is where we believe something not because there was good evidence for it but simply because we wished it were true. Shilpa seemed to be wishfully thinking of being presented with a Tokia cellular phone if she did the simple task of sending an e-mail to twenty other persons. On the other hand, Rita was not at fault in comforting herself by deeming something correct when there was no good enough evidence. Rita did not fantasize but instead sought about facing the actuality of the matter.

Rita is a critical thinker because she thinks for herself when making a decision about whether to forward the e-mail or not. She looked attentively at the truth claims of the mail and set out to check for herself the veracity of it. Critical thinkers are those people that have a passion for the truth. They make reasonable and intelligent choices regarding what to believe and what to do.

Shilpa did not make attempts to get hold of the truth. One could argue that it was simply an instance of forwarding an e-mail and Shilpa may not have bothered as forwarding a message has become the done thing. However Shilpa included in the mail a message to Rita confirming she had sent it to twenty people including Rita with a copy to the Sales Manager of Tokia. This meant that she had been sure of the mail’s promises and had not checked its sincerity. Therefore it is an indisputable incident of poor critical thinking on the part of Shilpa.

Even if you don’t believe in a spiritual power behind your attention, it is a powerful tool at your command.

Attention bankruptcy

By paying attention to something, you are giving your energy to it. Just as sitting upright in a desk chair burns a few calories at a time, you are spending your physical and emotional energy with whatever you choose to watch, read, listen to or care about.

You know the feeling: stress drains you of minor amounts of energy for every moment you give to it.

Some things we choose to give our attention to: if you are chatting with a friend about her new boyfriend, you are listening to her words and watching her body language. You would be leaning toward her, and raising your eyebrows and smiling a bit while you nod in encouragement to reflect her joy back to her. You might be waiting for her to take a breath so you can say something about the spinach between her teeth.

The benefit of this kind of attention is that it is an equal exchange. Your friend will return this attention to you while you are telling her about your new boss.

Some things we choose to worry about: when you’re watching a troubling news segment on television it’s likely your eyebrows are knitted together, you’ve tensed your abdomen or jaw. You may even have to call someone to discuss this latest development. You might lay awake in bed that night thinking about this problem, giving it your sleep and even your weariness the following day.

The truth of the matter is that the government has levied a tax on your mind. Every time you turn your tired thoughts to the news about what our government has or has not done, will or will not do, does or does not stand for – you are giving it your energy. Do you really want to “pay” energy to the War in Iraq? Do you really want to “pay” for the 2008 Election?

Those distant people or events may not “receive” your energy and attention payments, but you certainly expend them. Why do you think the phrase is “pay attention”?

The good news is that you don’t have to pay this tax. The IRS will never audit you. They get their energy paychecks whether you participate in the system or not. You can choose to save your attentive energy for something more worthy: children playing, a sunset, your favorite song, a good book.

You are what you watch

Looking at a heaping salad bar you know what you should choose to eat. You know that high fat, high-carb dressing is no tastier than light vinaigrette. You might make your selections based on comparative nutrients, your cravings at the moment, or perhaps simply out of habit.

The same selection is presented to us each and every day in the smorgasbord of mass-media. We choose what we take into our bodies. The problem is that most of the mass-media buffet is not healthy. There is not equal representation among the mental and emotional food groups. There is no Recommended Daily Allowance for bad news.

It is an accepted fact that mass-media engines have to stick with news that sells. They thrive on headlines. If they can’t find something big and splashy, they will make something mundane seem sensational.

In order to “hook” audience members, the media must evoke an emotion in their readers, listeners or viewers. Emotions like fear or anger will captivate large numbers of people. Especially those who are habituated by years of picking up fear and anger like croutons on the salad bar.

Happy stories make so little money that “good news” is rarely even considered to be real “news” anymore. That’s because happy people aren’t the target audience. (It is generally assumed we have better things to do with our time.)

YOU are the Target Audience

Once you’ve noticed the media you are faced with each day, notice what you do with it. Do you frown or smile? Do you tense up or relax? Do you feel compelled to buy something? Eat or drink something?

Have you ever noticed what “target audience” categories you fall into? Do you see the same previews every time you see a film in the theater? Do you see the same car commercial every time you turn on the television? These previews are expensive – they haven’t been broadcast willy-nilly to precede every film this summer. Those car commercials are targeted to a viewer who will watch a particular program during a specified time frame. You.

Pay attention to the advertising you end up seeing regularly. Notice what it says about who you are – what parts of your life it appeals to.

Advertisers prey on our fears. Ads targeted at the teen / young adult market are about trend setting and fitting in, being pretty enough and cool enough. Those aimed at parents are about child safety and long-term planning. Ads aimed at the elderly are about health, personal safety and life insurance!

Do you fit in with your “target audience group”? Are you properly pigeonholed?

McNews

Are you ready to try a media-free attention diet?

Believe it or not, there are enough information sources surrounding you in daily life that even if you never watch the news or read a single newspaper article, you will still know the gist of what’s going on. What will amaze you is how little the headlines change over time, and what passes for “news” on a daily basis.

Like most diets, the long term benefits will be more effective as a lifestyle change, rather than a temporary purge.

Also similar to nutritional dieting, the first step is awareness. Like the Food Log that a dieter is asked to keep and simply watch mindfully what they are eating every moment of the day for a week, you will need to know where and how you take in your mass media information.

Where do you get your news? Where do you seek entertainment? Do you read the newspaper every morning? What about television? Films? What sites do you read online? Who emails you the latest juicy tidbits of gossip?

Like the omnipresence of McDonald’s restaurants – Big Macs that splatter all over the world – notice the inundation.

Notice how much the world clambers for your attention.

When I get up and get ready to go to work in the morning, I choose not to turn on the television.

The first news I read is the headline on the local paper in the newsstand at the commuter train station. The Watchtower I politely decline each morning. Animated digital news & advertisement tickers on the train platform. On the train itself, there are closed-captioned television screens with taped local news and commercials. Billboards out the windows, on-train advertisement placards for fast-food and cars for sale: “Low-credit, No-Credit, OK!”

There is the music blaring from headsets of other commuters. Not to mention the various covers of books, magazines, and newspaper headlines in the hands of everyone around me. There, are of course, more news tickers, newspapers and ads at the station near my office. Branding on buildings, banners, and the sides of trucks on my short walk. News, trivia and advertisements scroll on a Captivate Network LCD screen in the elevator of the office building.

I unwillingly receive this in one hour, even before I’ve turned on my PC, checked my email, or gone online.

Life outside the box

You will notice a resistance to your media diet from friends and loved ones. Like an alcoholic sometimes has to make new friends to stay on the wagon, you might have to talk to different individuals.

Some people feel very insecure about the idea that you aren’t watching television. I find that my media diet triggered a defensive response in many people. At first, they were confused asking me questions like “What do you do?!” or “Where do you point your furniture?”

When I respond that I write, read, listen to music, practice yoga, surf the net, garden, walk my dog, experiment in the kitchen, clean the house, paint, sew, or get a little extra sleep… They wonder if perhaps they should be joining me on this unconventional quest for peace and quiet. When they decide that they cannot possibly give up their time with the mass-media, my friends started trying to give me television sets. Literally. It became a point to make all of them feel better to know when I finally accepted one.

It is commonly accepted social etiquette to have something interesting to talk about in casual conversation. If you’re reading great books, then you don’t need this. If you’re renting quality films that you really want to see (or borrowing them from the library?) again, you’ve got plenty there. But if you really need current events to be able to chat about, I highly recommend a fun site called Happy News.

The media-free diet

One of the more insidious sources of “information” I’ve encountered has been the informal kind.

The news at the water-cooler is actually the most helpful. I tend to hear most of my breaking news from concerned coworkers who know I don’t watch the news. In fact, we always benefit from our friends giving us their attention.

They don’t bother to ask my opinion about the latest election candidates. Instead, they make sure I’ve heard about the e-coli in my spinach salad, or the recall on cat food. I end up getting the need-to-know data, rather than all that other stuff.

Before you grow too concerned about side-effects of your media diet, you don’t really need to rely on them for the information. I’d have found out the instant I went to the grocery store and couldn’t find a bag of baby spinach leaves to buy. Nor do you need to trust them as a reliable source. Often, after receiving a tip from someone about anything that really concerns me, I will go online and look up more information from a few sources.

Email is the hardest informal news source to weed through. Memos, company announcements, gossip, and chain letters.

The best thing I have ever done for my peace of mind is this: In Outlook, under the Tools menu, select “Options”. Then click on the button for “Email options” then on the button “Advanced Email Options”. In the section entitled “When new items arrive in my inbox” UNCHECK EVERY SINGLE BOX. This means my PC will no longer beep or blink when a new email is received. A dozen new messages can pile up before I have a moment to check them. I’ve never fallen behind in my work. Productivity is enhanced because my stress levels have decreased as my time management abilities have skyrocketed.

As far as personal email is concerned, I have a few preferences.

First, I never buy in to those “send this warning to everyone you know” notes. Even if I’ve had the time to look it up on Snopes and it really is true. If it isn’t true, I reply to the sender with a link to the article debunking it. I like to request that they fact-check these things before sending them out. Repeat offenders usually get a warning that in the future, such discrediting emails will be sent via “Reply All” and would they please remove me from their distribution list.

I usually read the “feel-good” ones and the jokes, but very seldom pass them along. There are two kinds of senders from whom you receive emails from. There are friends who always have an interesting personal note, an invitation to a party, or a fascinating detail that made them think of you. Then there are the people who only send messages to large groups of people at a time, usually with the telltale acronym FW still in the subject line. I prefer to not have my email address be synonymous with SPAM in my friends’ minds.

At the office, we give our energy and attention to our work. If it’s something that challenges, interests or excites you, it’s likely that your energy is recycled right back into your mind – you remain enthusiastic and engaged in your work. If it’s something that is not quite as fascinating, you are likely to feel your energy draining out of you as you give it your attention.

If you are feeding your mind to your work, doesn’t that make it doubly important to love what you do?

After a hard day of paying attention for pay at the office, the one place where we have the most control over what we choose to attend is at home. Do you open all of the mail you receive? Pay bills? Watch television? Listen to the radio? Go online? Flip through a magazine? Is there something on playing just for “background noise” around you?

If you turn all of these things off, what would you hear? Birds singing? Maybe the squeals of neighborhood kids playing tag? Or a dog barking to be let inside? Perhaps it’s the sounds of traffic – cars, trains or airplanes. Can you hear your neighbor’s TV turned up too loudly?

Or is it quiet? Can you hear your breath? What about your heartbeat?

The real question is this – can you leave it all turned off? For one night? Like people who can’t have ice cream in the refrigerator without hurrying to eat it, some people simply can’t have access to all of the media available in daily life and not give it their attention.

I defragged my PC because it’s what I wanted to do with my head.