Let them, the grammarians, forgive me for the topic, but if most of them would not forgive me, then I bet to differ, and proclaim that on a very light note I am serious about it. It should always be their job as faithful as they are to proof-read scripts, to ensure correctness, acceptable and allowable, well formed language; only to turn and be stripped of their hard-earn possession, or have their girl child badly defiled or raped. Have you for once thought about how society can curb these menaces other than having these criminals put into the non-reformatory prisons just to suspend their bad deeds?

I am not an expert in virtues and vices but a concerned citizen of society who wish that the cheapest cause of a serious effect is given the due attention.

I believe the roots of all crimes are the recycling vices that hover around human society. Show me a crime and I would be eager to know the vices from which the crime evolved. Lysander Spooner, in his Vices Are Not Crimes: A Vindication Of Moral Liberty, says of vices as the errors which people make in the search after their own happiness. Of the lot, the ‘Great Soul’ Mahatma Gandhi, says of the roots of violence as “…pleasure without conscience; knowledge without character…”. Now, then, the reservation about where we first acquire pleasure and knowledge, and the corresponding character and conscience? In other words, who are the first stakeholders to blame for the ill development in individual’s id, superego and ego? Which would be your choice of answer, parents or teachers? To me both answers are correct. Wondering why?

For the sake of this article, let us allow those professional classroom teachers rest as they muse over their low remuneration in the country and the supposed better one in Heaven. Even though classroom teachers play important role in the total development of an individual, their duty lays under the school as a major stakeholder. Charity would always begin at home, so it is imperative to deal with the basic stakeholder.

I think it is about time we gave the distinction between couples and parents (fathers and mothers) with the criterion, teaching. In my candid view couples or partners, or even lovers, should not be considered as parents for the mere fact they have children or wards but the fact that they are teachers; teachers of values and virtues in a positive and sound atmosphere. The common and true adage goes like “we have 18 years to TEACH our children independence…” There are a number of texts in the Holy Bible which cite parents as teachers or trainers, and I believe other religious or holy books do the same. The ‘rites de passage’ of the African traditional religion also stress on parents and the community at large as the main teachers of society. So it is very clear the major role as parents is to teach; but many couples or people enter into the institution of parenthood without prior knowledge of this important duty, not to even talk about the content of this duty. So, with lack of knowledge, society would always perish. Society always bears the brunt of more serious crimes mostly because some so-called parents failed to act as teachers.

The human nature is such that it is continuously learning; from the foetus to the foot of life. Children would therefore learn from the pre-formative stage through the formative period, through to adulthood. By the time a person reaches adulthood the subconscious mind is already made up with whatever good or bad  it has passed through. So the adult human becomes giant in what virtue or vice, or most of the time the mixed, ingrained in them. The vicious mother would pass nothing but a pile of vices to the foetus. Sometimes the male couple causes the expectant female to be vicious; hence the male too becomes vicious inducing vices in the female to the unborn child. These couples would be doing anything but failing to be parents.

Direct transmission of vices occurs during the formative period where the children can feel their environment with their senses; in this case the couples, but not parents, display vicious character in the presence of the children. The worst happens during the weaning period where most women for varied reasons can just cut the nursing period. This act has been shown to be the cause of many psychological complications such as negativism, aggression, fretfulness, stereotyped activities and complete disregard of the mother. Even at this point a good-positive-minded and loving parent can manage the situation to nib in the bud any serious future development.

It is my utmost hope that couples who wish to raise children learn to be teachers, not just that but with love, good and positive minds so that they become the mothers, the fathers or the parents they already claim they are. Remember the adage that “we (as parents or as teachers) have 18 years to teach our children independence, why try to do it all in the first years?” I believe there would surely be a good turn for society, especially my happy home Ghana, if this piece is carefully considered in order to curb the crime against you and me, and the grammarian who is solely engaged in correction of grammatical errors.

Practicing Egoless state in life?

I am different but not different from you.

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Benjamin Franklin asked,” you can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?” And, there is the answer. For a mistake committed by someone, will I treat and behave with the person the same way as I will treat myself for such a mistake? If the answer is “Yes” then I am not seeing the other as different from me but as a part of me. But if the answer is “No” then I am operating out of ego. Leftover food is offered to be servant maid but never to the esteemed guest, which means we are operating out of ego.

With ego, we treat others differently. Hence disharmony. In the absence of the ego, we treat other equally. Hence harmony.

Let salaries, positions, possessions and progress depend on individual responsibilities and capabilities, but let treatment and behavior of others be on the basis of equality. Didn’t every religion with different expressions say the same, ‘Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Do not do unto others what you do not want to be done unto you.”

It is truly liberating to realize,” I am different but not different from you. We are different but not different from each other.” Loving you is loving the ‘Me” in you. Hating you is hating the “Me” in you.

Here I am at 61 years old, coming to the conclusion that the life I led as a young man was the reason for the way it is for me now where sex is concerned, but I wonder how many others around my age  suffer equally, if suffering is what you call it. I did, from the age of 15 until I was 58 smoke heavily, and had TB as a child to boot.

the doctors told me, five years ago now, that my smoking and my obesity had been the root causes of the erectile dysfunction that started afflicting me in my mid fifties, and there was nothing they could do. Suddenly, what I had always perceived to be the very essence of my masculinity was deserting me, and I no longer got an automatic hard-on at the thought of sex.

It had nothing to do with my loving partner, who was very supportive and can still get me going easily, but simply the failure of my body to produce the relevant hormones and chemical compounds needed for solid erections to occur. Not only that, but the lack of these same compounds had the devastating effect of diminishing my desire for sex, so that I was happy if we managed it a couple of times a week.

That, of course, could only happen through the taking of Viagra, which stimulates blood-flow to where it needs to be, for a while at least, though the one or two hour sessions of years past were certainly no longer on the cards. I suffered huge feelings of inadequacy and felt all but stripped of everything it was that made me a man, and if it had not been for the patience, love and support of my wife I could have easily sunk into deep depression.

The whole thing was compounded even further when, having at 58 quit smoking after 40-odd years, the latent, severe rheumatoid arthritis – kept in check, apparently for years by the cigarette use – was free to erupt with venomous intent, subjecting me to intense pain if I even thought of trying to get physical. God, it seemed – even the earth goddess Gaia in whom I believe – was determined to punish me in the cruelest of ways.

Gradually, of course, medication helped get the arthritis under control, and the various tablets aimed at giving those with ED a helping hand so to speak, enable my wife and I to still enjoy an active, if severely curtailed sex-life compared to twenty years ago. Yet still I find that the drive simply is not there to anything like the same degree, and I can easily go a week or ten days without even thinking about it.

Though sex, when it happens, tends to be relatively short it is nonetheless exceedingly sweet, and we never tire of enjoying those moments of physicality, even if they are becoming rarer. For me, the horror, in some respects, is the acknowledgement that I  simply no longer feel about sex the way I once did, and the images that would have excited me back then just no longer have the same impact.

At this rate, within ten years sex will, for me, be no more than a fond memory, and even though I dread that coming to pass, because I desperately want to hold on to what vestiges of my masculinity remain, I am  realistic enough to accept that nature will always have me do what is in my best survival interest, and where I can no longer father children, sexuality becomes superfluous. Life may begin at forty for some, but sixty sees the beginning of the end of sexuality – for me at least – and I find that kind of sad.

When I joined the club there were a number of ‘officers’.   Matt was President, Joan was Vice President, on and on.  Alvin’s only listed position was ‘Secretary.’

In truth, Alvin did everything.

He didn’t do everything because there was no one else.  He didn’t do everything because he had endless time. He did everything because of his own pathology.

People who tried to do anything wound up being stymied at every turn, because Alvin had to do everything.

The Web Page was a year out of date, the conference had a few glitches.  The business was in the doldrums because Alvin had hired an enormously obese woman who could barely walk 60 feet without an inhaler.  Anyone who volunteered to help was discouraged, so everyone sat down and did nothing.

Alvin was proud of saying how he did everything, but never added the ‘badly’.

Many organizations have an ‘Alvin’  this is a person whose ego demands that he do everything.  That he can’t, never registers. 

His behaviour demotivates the other members.

Organizations need to implement policies which ‘force’ an officer to step down, which demand others try to fulfill the requirements.   Even if something is done badly, the fact someone else tried, someone else gained competence is the value.

When Alvin shuffles off this mortal coil will there be anyone left in the group?

 Ego mentioned here is not the one comes in Sigmund Freud’s three part model of psyche-Id: ego and super-ego. In this writing, here please consider ego as “illogical-undesirable-pride”. Normal pride is slightly different.

Ego is Ever Green Overhead. Ever- Green means till one is alive, he will be with some amount of Ego; after his death also, his ego may pass to his children in the form of family-pride. Ego is overhead, it costs.

In the Stone Age, while human being was struggling for existence, he never cared about his ego. That time, getting food and shelter, escaping from cruel animals were extremely important to survive. But this is e-era… That means not only electronic era, but Ego-Era also…

In social life, ego affects everywhere. In marital life ego is a major factor. Today in couples, percentage of love is getting replaced by percentage of personal ego and self-prestige.

Now in any job or business ego is a parameter. Go to marriage function, ego takes various forms. Ego wears good dress. Ego wears more prestigious rings, and much more prestigious shoes. Ego buys better cars. False prestige drives more and more sophisticated cars.

From Cloud to Cloud computing is there is role of ego. While praying Cloud to rain farmer is egoless and but when comes to his community, society his ego plays.

Many psychology teachers who can teach about the “ego” may also have ego. Psychiatrists, who treat ill effects of chronic ego, may also have ego. From bicycle to airplane, ego exists, but varies. Ego has several forms.

Go to IT Industry; look at the ego which works more than software engineer. Ego works more than manager. If you advise your team, in front of everybody, then he/she will not be hurt, rather his/her ego will be hurt. Then you need to pay for that.

Go to education institutes; say a lecturer is having masters in science and Ph.D. But senior principal who was just Masters in science and by the virtue of his experience, age and expertise he became principal. Then if both need to teach same subject to students, then students start comparing them. Then their ego will clash. Some lecturers try to prove the subjects -which they handle are most difficult. In the same subject teachers, once again competition comes, if they teach different chapter. Lecturer “A” thinks lessons he teaches are more complicated than those of lecturer “B”’. Take class room, if student asks doubts more than expected, it hurts teacher’s ego.

Go to engineering industries, Foreman always tries to tell to workers that he has got more practical knowledge than his supervising engineer.

Take the topic of relationships. When in-laws start comparing Elder-brother-law with younger brother-in-law, then elder one’s ego is get hurt.

In hospitals, especially ego between nurse and doctor plays. Ego between surgeons plays. Ego between different doctors in the same locality plays. Few times, more than the actual disease, doctor’s ego affects the admitted patients.

Ego plays master role in young Teenage girls, if they are beautiful. Ego will be boosted if they are rich. If they are intelligent, then it will be more boosted up.

In decent-class society, if they want to hurt their disliked ones, they do not to hurt him/her, rather hurt his ego. In this process, they criticize and condemn the most liked things what their competitor/disliked one likes the most.

When announcement and declaration of “Top 10 movies of 2010”, whose ego got boosted up and whose ego has got hurt. It depends how they take it. Same case with “10 Best Songs of 2010” or “Top 10 business men of the world”

How does the 11th one feel when “Top 10 Scientific Discoveries Of 2010”, “Top 10 foods for 2010” etc were announced and declared?

Finally, when it comes to optimize the own ego and adjust with others ego. It needs some logic and more of a philosophy. Because all knowledge is finally merge into philosophy.  It takes maturity of mind. It needs acceptance. It needs self-confidence. In India, from ancient times, there is a proverb saying whatever you do in the name of God and not in the in your name. In India, divine sayings all individuals are only one self. That is why “Nobody is doing anything and all is done by the almighty- the God”…That means actor is real God, and person “who does” is not actually the instrument of God. So one can get relieved from ego of “I did”, “I am the one”, “I have achieved it”, “and It is me” etc. The God is the one which is doing, and getting done. If one trust God is the reason for all reasons, causes and effects then he can be free from ego. Same will apply if you want to cope-up others also. When the egoistic person is troubling you, do not be panic, rather try to satisfy his ego. Never hurt his ego. Increase your patience, tolerance and inner potential so that abundance of water can extinguish fire.

What could be a boner? per Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary a boner is a noun and offers 3 definitions. 1: one that bones, 2: a slipshod or stupid mistake, 3: sometimes vulgar : an erect penis. Here we have a tendency to are talking regarding the third definition “an erect penis”. to be told a way to get your best boners, or the last word erection you want to initial understand how the penis works and the way an erection is made. The penis is created of 3 chambers, 2 massive chambers on high, that comprise the erectile tissue and one smaller chamber on rock bottom from that urination and ejaculation takes place. When a person is sexually aroused his brain releases a hormone that causes blood to enter his penis and fills the erectile tissue. The cells fill with blood till an erection is reached. When this happens, the blood pressure within the penis rises dramatically and it enlarges and stiffens to “bone like” standing, pointing upwards, this is often where the slang term “boner” originates from. As an erection disappears, the arteries within the penis slender once more. Then the veins open, removing the blood once more and also the flow returns to traditional.

You must agree the most effective boners are the most important, hardest, most final erections that cause you to feel viral, sexually adept and manly. though this might be true partially the most effective boners are those that completely satisfy your ego creating you additional sexually aroused and robust. after you are fully sexually aroused there’s additional blood flow to your penis and it becomes tougher and your size will increase. Your penis shaft stiffens and becomes rock onerous. When the penis shaft is stiff and “bone like” it’s able to cause additional friction therefore manufacturing larger nerve stimulation to you and your partner. This helps to heighten and enhance sexual pleasure and fulfillment for the each of you.

Let’s face the facts; now and then obtaining your best boners are often a tricky task. To ease your mind you must apprehend that this could be a traditional expertise. A decline within the quality of your erection size and also the lack of your sexual energy can occur from time to time. This doesn’t automatically mean that you just are impotent. there’s an array of reasons why this happens. It are often due to easy a day stress, fatigue or anxiety to call simply many. But, if your drawback worsens or becomes additional frequent and your sexual response continues to slow you’ll wish to initial be honest together with your partner and be open regarding things. Second, you’ll wish to contact your physician to induce tested for an underlying soundness that might be inflicting restricted blood flow to your penis.

If you are feeling that your erections are waning and you’re unable to supply your best boners there’s a good vary of penis enhancement ways, procedures and natural supplements that you just will select from, do not be back to raise your Doctor for facilitate. Please be cautious of firms touting untested and unsafe penis enlargement ways and programs and do be terribly careful in your search. analysis has shown that a number of the enhancement ways on the market aren’t solely completely ridiculous they’re merely harmful. the most effective ways out there are those that are all natural, safe and effective with some proven analysis behind them.

If you are familiar with reality television shows you may have seen people being strategic liars. Often times people will ask others “Do you trust being in an alliance with me?”, and typically anyone who answers honestly “NO” becomes a target, while all others who often admit offside to the cameras that they lied and said “Yes”, are kept.

In many situations people want to hear positive comments even if they are false. While nobody wants to hear unsolicited negative comments, people should not ask for honest opinions if they are not ready, and open, to hear them.

While negative comments are depressing, there is very little to gain by only hearing good words. Good words pump up your ego but do not encourage real improvement.

Take for example a new restaurant owner. With an enthusiastic smile on his face he asks his customers how their meal was, he says he wants their honest opinion. Greeted by their friendly host, the customers typically say it was great. The restaurant owner is happy. Then comes the day when customers are more familiar and start complaining (which is often done to the waitress who then goes to the owner). Eventually the owner becomes bitter at hearing complaints. He may even blame the waitress as the bearer of constant bad news, or may become defensive saying “Let them run a restaurant and see if they can do any better.”.

An office manager may tell his staff he wants to hear their honest opinion of his management style. Woe be the employee who actually speaks up and mentions any thing negative.

At a point people just do not want to hear honest criticism even if it could help them improve.

A person who asks “Does my butt look fat?” does not want to be told “Yes”. A person who asks “Do you like my new haircut?” does not want to be told “No”. A person who asks “Do you trust me?”, does not want to be told “No”.

Everyone wants to hear what they want to hear, very few people are big enough mentally to withstand hearing the truth even though many people claim they want to hear it. It is just a pity that most people who claim they want “Honesty” do not realize that they are not able to handle the truth.

Another example is the employer who claims they want honest feedback from employees. This is seldom the truth and can be witnessed in many work places where employees who stroke their employers ego with only good comments are generally treated better than those who offer any negative feedback (even when in balance with good feedback). Ego stroking employees generally are of little true value to improving the company although they can improve the employers moral, but they are generally the “favorites”.

The truth is… most people cannot handle the truth if the truth happens to be negative. Pity that so many claim they value honesty.

Other Reading

The ABC’s of Gossip

This article will explore consciousness, and what it is, and how exactly that it works.

Consciousness is a bridge across which intuition travels in going from the soul to its lower bodies. Consciousness can only exist in a vessel of love, or more around it, as you will see later. Our soul is not so much conscious directly itself, but it perceives consciousness more as a knowing from seeing the consciousness displayed through the experiences taking place with love in its own lower bodies.

A soul can never be conscious separately as itself, as also God cannot be, because consciousness is a creation, or a tool created by a soul for its lower created bodies to use. Consciousness is a field that is created by moving love in a similar way to how a magnetic field is created around moving electricity.

When love moves from God to a soul, and is not blocked or restricted in this process by our mind blocking part of it from fear, consciousness is created around us, the vehicle or vessel, for God’s love. The more we love, the more consciously aware we become. When we live from perfect unconditional love, we have reached also the state of God consciousness then, as well.

This is all done in this way so that the soul can have independent learning capabilities to freely learn love’s truths from outwardly, and so from a position more or less distanced away from itself, rather than being only known all internally from oneness as a part of its own largely otherwise unknowable hidden makeup.

These attributes of love can be displayed within infinitely different ways all truthfully, and so love’s truth is seen to have many faces, but only the one body.

Is consciousness a screen upon which we can project all of our own pictures, but that the real truth of this is in fact that our pictures are not real? In this scenario, only the screen of consciousness is real, but is this true, or is it really actually all the other way around?

Is it our pictures of truth, and that are rendered in love’s energy, that are creating this screen of consciousness to reflect love’s truths back again to us, so that we can recognise them as being already all within ourselves.

Consciousness is real in the sense that it is a field around love, but it is intangible as such, and it relies on love’s energy to feed it, sustain it, and to keep it in place. Consciousness is a sort of parasite on love that allows love to show us its otherwise hidden, unseeable, and also otherwise consciously
unknowable truths.

Our ego is the part of our soul that runs our earthly life. It identifies itself with its mind and body, but our soul itself has no mind and body. They are merely its outer garments, and not to be identified with. Our soul is not comprised of pure consciousness as some have suggested. It is actually made from the pure but unconscious raw unrealised energy of love. Consciousness is created out from this when a soul links to another soul, or to God with love. The more that we love, the more conscious of ourselves we become.

Consciousness allows us to know who we are within God. God can also know himself in this way, from us knowing ourselves.

Consciousness absorbs knowledge and in this way it acquires yet another field again on top of itself, called wisdom. Consciousness records this knowledge and wisdom in what are known as the Akashic records. These are energy fields held in place by consciousness to store its accumulating knowledge of love’s truths in, as they become revealed from each soul’s experiences with love.

All of this is ongoing, and never ending. There is always another step to take, andother expereince to go through, and a higher consciousness to grow around ourselves as we do so. God consciousness is not the highest consciousness. It is like in karate, when we achieve our black belt, it all begins again from that point.

Consciousness can continue to increase and to expand itself indefinitely, and infinitely so.

When I was in high school I remember being jealous of this one particular girl.  She seemed to have it all.  She was beautiful; I mean model material.  And it seemed like she was the most popular person in the world.  What I wouldn’t give to have a taste of her life!

When I got a little older there was a woman I became friends with who seemed to have the perfect life.  She was the calmest person I had ever met.  She had an amazing husband who would come home after work and help her cook and actually play with their kids.  And even after they had gotten divorced she found the strength to go go to school full time, go to work and take care of her three kids (for the most part) alone!

Over the last year or so I had become disgusted with myself.  I hated that I was jealous of people for being prettier or having a happier life.  I wanted and needed to be happy with myself and my life.  Considering my past and where I am now I am glad to be alive but I wanted more.  One day I stood in front of the mirror for quite some time and just looked at myself.  That’s when I decided it was time, time to get over the little things I was jealous over that I was carrying with me all these years and be happy with myself.  I also decided to fix the things about myself that didn’t make me happy!

I think we all have a little bit of jealousy inside us.  There’s that “grass is always greener on the other side” kind of thing.  We almost wish we lived someone Else’s life, but we need to know that isn’t going to happen.  We have to be happy with ourselves because jealousy gets us nowhere!

You can NEVER make it by giving if everything you do is relying on a need.

If you NEED a bag of cocaine, or a box of Coricidin, to be able to be a giver and be happy_ then you are NOT TRULY happy giving, OR ELSE you are giving what is not yours to give and putting blinders on.

Yes, it is going to be hard!  But not for as long as you think.  And don’t go fooling yourself and saying that you have received so many blessings that you are deciding to take years off the end of your life in order to give to others now in retrospect to what you’ve done in the past.  You’re just making excuses that allow you to be comfortable while you give.

Unless you’re genuinely happy being a giver.  Forget it!

If you want to know ho to be a genuine giver, start by realizing that every time you give (and be smart about it and responsible) that that is actually being a bit selfish, because THAT is your way to the gates.

It’s not meant to be a comfortable road.

You can do it!

For further reading check out Jay M Horne’s work at http://www.jaymhorne.com