As a common adage says ‘what wont kill you will certainly make you stronger’ definitely if you manage to go though an emotional relationship breakdown you will emerge out a stronger being with more reasons to be cautions when you fall in love again.

In this article you will find some of the helpful ways to handle the frustration and disturbance arising from relationship breakdown. Triumphing over a relationship breakdown is the best way to start your life again with new aspirations. Your relationships with your partner may break due to several reasons. Whether you had the best relationship in the world it is good that you remember that that should not make your life miserable since its over if you consider some of this tips I have outlined here you will be able to cope with relationship breakdown and live a stress free life.

There are a number of ways you can overcome relationship breakdown and live a happy life some of them include:

v      Draining all your emotions out: Without more ado after your breaks, allocate yourself some time to drain out all your emotions. It is for this period, you should cry, rant in your fury; lament at the unwarranted treatment from your partner. Remove all these heart aches and emotions drain from mind.

v      Forget the Good times: You should learn to forget what happen in the past and open your mind to forge into new relationships. Keep away from looking at the souvenirs like snaps, letters and gift that you received from your partner.

v      Concentrate on improving your Life This will be very helpful in ensuring that you forge ahead with life normally instead of crying over spit milk all the time.

v      Engage in Fun social activities .The fact that your partner has broken your relationship does not justify you not having fun with your friends. This times you spend with your friends help you to recover your back to normal quickly and enjoy every bit of life. Get pleasure from activities like picnics and outings together with your friends or workmates this will help you to forget about the relationship breakdown easily

v      Get Support from your friends:  The easiest way to be strong after relationship breakdown is to get the much needed support from friend and your family. Both play a vital role in coping with this nerve-racking situation. Fell free to let them know your thoughts and emotions.

v      Shun depression  : Stay away from the things that make you recall your ex-partner since they are more likely to illicit anger and depression

v Relationship Breakdown Therapies: Make use of clinical hypnotherapy or self-hypnosis as they are very helpful in emotional management.

These are just some of the most important ways that you may make use of when you want to cope or survive a relationship breakdown and come out strong. It is important that you adopt these measures to mini minimize the chances of suffering post relationship break down psychological trauma.

Do it yourself

Perhaps you’re considering to ask for an apology through text messages, emails, by phone, or by asking others to do it, but what if the message you want to deliver is being misunderstood? I know it isn’t easy, but you need to do it by your self.

It doesn’t have to be too formal

You can always ask for an apology in a casual and simple way.

Admit your mistakes

Asking for apology supposed to be started by admitting the mistakes you’ve made. Asking others to apologize you without showing your regret about the mistake you’ve made is equal to opening up another chance for another war.

To the point

Say that you regret whatever mistakes you’ve made and you feel so sorry for that. Showing your intention to make it up is a great point, but don’t forget to make it true.

Don’t blame others for your mistake

Sounds like moving the battle field to another area. Would this make the war end? Nope. It would just raising the risk of creating a wider battle field.

Sincerely

As a friend told me, “Don’t just say, ‘I mean it’.” The person that you’re dealing with can feel whether you’re asking it sincerely or you’re just pretending to ask an apology. So, don’t fake it.

Listen

Perhaps that person you’re dealing with need to channel his/her emotion. All you need to do is listen, pay attention, and again, sincerely do so.

It is ok sometimes to be angry. Sometimes this is a great way to move past certain problems and issues that you may have.  Anger is completely normal and you will want to make sure that you are dealing with it as best as you can. You will want to be careful so that you are not setting yourself up for more problems when you are angry because of a divorce.

Getting divorced can be a hard time in anyone’s life. It is something that you will have to deal with one day at a time.  It is not always easy for both parties especially if you are not the person initiating the divorce. If you are the person that is being left, you may feel angry and hurt at the other person.  These feelings are completely relevant and you will have more emotions come up in the future as well.

When you are having issues with anger because of a divorce, you will want to make sure that you are using your best judgment in the matter. You do not want to do anything to harsh because you may later regret it.  Remember that once you do something or say something, it is impossible for you to take it back.  You must remain calm in this situation so that you are not coming off looking irrational or childish.  

There are ways that you can deal with the anger after a divorce.  You will want to sit down and calmly think about them first. You do want to make sure that you have the facts to why you are getting divorced. Make sure that you are not left out in the dark so that you can have a full understanding of what is going on in your life.  You can try and talk to your soon to be ex and find out what is going on and use communication as a form of release. Talking things out can sometimes make a person feel much better.  

In order for you to feel better and get through the divorce, you will need to move past the angry part. You have to find a way to move on and get through this difficult time. There is no real answers to how you do this, you just have to figure out the best way that you know how so that you are taking care of you first.  The most important thing that you can do when you are in the process of a divorce or after it is said and done is to take care of yourself. You need to make sure that you are staying healthy and happy because you are more important.

Angry is a very passionate emotion.  It can take you up or down.  It will depend on the way that you are able to handle the emotion and what you intend to do with it. You do not want to let the anger that you have inside you got too far advanced. You want to make sure that you can contain it and keep it under control for your sake and the sake of others.  There is no reason to fly off the handle and cause a big scene even though it may seem like it is a good idea at the time.

You can seek treatment for any anger issues that you may be dealing with. When you think that you are not able to control your anger, you can go and find help for these problems.  You can get counseling and find out what is making you so angry and different steps to make it better and improve as time rolls on.  

Talking about true love is risky business. I can imagine taking a poll, going around asking people who are looking for true love what it is they’re looking for and getting different answers and a lot of “I don’t knows.” Given its subjective nature, it always comes down to one’s interpretation or experience. A never-ending number of questions always seem to get raised.

Let’s establish that what we are talking about when we say ‘true love’ would not be referring to how a parent might feel towards his or her child or a child towards a parent, between siblings. The more traditional connotation of true love leans to, at very least, an emotionally intimate relationship, one that lasts a lifetime. It may be platonic, it may sexual. But for the purposes of this discussion we will first explore what may be some common core elements of true love and of true love that includes sexual intimacy.

As we continue the discussion about what true love is, we will see that a number of related questions are raised.

Is true love, love at first sight? Or, does it come later in the relationship?

True love may and often does begin during the initial encounter, when two people are meeting for the first time. However, the spontaneous, eye-to-eye spark, when time gets compressed, when an irrepressible stirring suddenly before they even talk happens more often in the movies, quite rarely in reality.

After ‘…first sight,’ the two people will eventually have to talk to each other. For then, they will get to see how they feel being together. That spark will either ignite or be kaput, depending on how it feels to be together, which is largely determined by the quality of their rapport. The highest high can go to the lowest low in the blink of an eye.

It is possible that when there is rapport, some kind of mutual discovery occurs; that they like being together (a lot), that they like each other (a lot), that they have this incredible chemistry, that they communicate about anything and everything; and that this turns them on even more. They can become quite excited by their rapport, but when attraction, desire and sex enter the picture, their excitement is further peaked.

Is true love a matter of luck or something that was “meant to be”?

Whether or not it was a matter of luck or their destiny to end up together, there is a strong likelihood that there was an initial rapport. It’s not luck when conscious intention meets purposeful action. It doesn’t just happen. Two people make it happen.

Rapport is a joint effort creation — two who are people united in purpose, who place a high value getting to know what each other thinks and feels, who want to connect deeply, and are doing so.

During a rapport, there is a bridging of experience, understanding is achieved. Let’s establish one criteria of true love as being able to say, “We understand each other,” which often begins during the initial encounter.

Along with the ability to achieve a deep mutual understanding is comes a variety of other pleasant surprises. When gazing into each other’s eyes and communicating on a deep level, the feeling of knowing one another elevates the level of excitement. “We know each other like no one else does.”

For some, the experience of being able to be completely open, free and understood may be the highest of all highs.

How long does true love last? Does it fade over time?

It is reasonable to assume that if they did it once, they could do it again. However, there are no guarantees. What bears out in reality is that true love will last as long as both people are able to continue to communicate intimately. It may work to look at each and every encounter as a relationship in itself, independent of the others. It may also be considered that when there is consistency over time, the continuity will deepen their relationship, strengthen their bond.

Is true love the same thing as ‘being in love?’ Being with that special someone? Being number one? Being turned on? Having great sex?

What does it feel like? Is it a high or rather mundane? Does it have substance or is it merely a bundle of excitement?

Is it a long plateau of fixed contentment, like being “happy ever after?” Or, is it a never-ending, ever-deepening journey fraught with relationship threatening challenges?

Answering the above questions will require that some important distinctions be made beginning with true love versus ‘being in love.’ Being in love is an altered state of mind. It is a peak experience – exciting, intense… and temporary, tantamount to being high, running on adrenalin.

When ‘in love,’ two people may feel extremely turned on to each other, but how intimate they are is another question. They may feel clear-headed and certain about each other while they’re in love, while forgetting that they’re looking at each other through the lens of idealization, and are often disillusioned and overwhelmed when reality sets in. They are expecting, assuming or hoping that their altered state of mind will last indefinitely. Chances are they don’t have the experience in relationships that would tell them real intimacy is lacking or hasn’t yet been achieved and/or that they haven’t yet been challenged by negative feelings, conflicts or differences. It is more likely to be that they are basking in the false security of their distorted perception.

Another important distinction is true love and great sex.

Confusion is evident in the words often used to describe our sexual encounters. “We were intimate.” “We made love.” Physical or sexual intimacy becomes synonymous with true love or emotional intimacy. A common pitfall when there is attraction, desire, great sex, etc, is to assume more of a relationship than there is.

In light of this confusion, it’s safer and more accurate to not equate true love, or, for that matter, emotional intimacy with attraction, desire or sex; and not to equate the two. Even great sex in no way guarantees emotional intimacy or a great relationship. The two are separate entities and there is no correlation between them.

One reason for this confusion is that emotional openness and sharing are considerably harder to achieve than the excitement, pleasure and ease associated with sex. Once again, it’s a trap of false security.

Does true love depend on the prevailing conditions and circumstances at any given point in time, a matter of being in the right time and place?

If there are conditions and circumstances conducive for true love, we may consider them to be contextually based relationships. There is a variety of situations that fit into this category. One is when two people meet when traveling away from home, outside of their usual reality. Another is work-related. There are a great many occupations that afford co-workers intimate knowledge about each other, and endless opportunities to earn respect and trust. In the military, for example, soldiers live and train together for months, sometimes years, and must rely on each other in battle. Police and firefighters also spend large chunks of time together and must depend on each other. Actors travel the whole spectrum of emotions, baring their souls to each other. And people who’ve been through an extreme experience together, i.e. a natural disaster or a terrorist attack, naturally seek understanding and support from the only one who had been through the same experience.

In contrast, a natural setting is in the natural course of life, independent of an imposed structure, when you must rely solely and entirely on each other to create and sustain rapport.

In these types of situations, it’s quite common to explore whether they’re able to sustain intimacy, whether their relationship can continue to work outside of the context in which their relationship grew, in a natural setting. Sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn’t. When their relationship works in both settings, they may be more inclined to use true love to describe their relationship.

Also, when sex enters the picture, a whole other set of dynamics will enter the picture. An intimate platonic relationship doesn’t necessarily translate to a sexually intimate relationship.

When it comes to true love, intimacy may be the operative term; true love being interchangeable with true intimacy.

While intimacy may be the operative term, true love may also refer to a bond that goes above and beyond intimacy. We might say, “They are hitting on all cylinders.”

Wow, what a sight! I flew from his chair to find a pen to write this statement down. Throughout the night I found myself reflecting on this statement and the power of words that drove me to action. To skip forward, that is, be tough, must be able to resolve the past, is dedicated to this and have faith in the future. However, this does not mean it is easy.

For many years in a career that I was a prison officer, (yes it’s true! A prison officer), and I remember thinking how many inmates, including some staff members were plagued by his past, fighting in its present and do not believe in its future. Years later, as a mediator, often mediate family conflict, and the past always faced. Instead of being involved in this, many people had two charges in the past. For this reason, it was difficult for them to believe in the future. As mediator in the workplace above situations, I have seen this same challenge, people who defend past problems causing them to withdraw and not be present.

Here are some simple tips for dealing with the past:

Listen to his story. Test the voice of the file for you to read and really focus on listening to what you say and how they offer. Everyone has stories of the past that come up in conversation. In telling the story, you are “independent” of it, or does not end with both hind legs at the time? A good way to tell is by taking note of your emotional state when you tell the story. And pay attention to these stories that run through your mind. The good news is that you can change your story.
Decide to forgive. True forgiveness is a choice! Look at the situations, disappointments and unresolved problems that overwhelm. It may not be able to fix or settle the past has already happened, but you can forgive or settle for the future. And forgive yourself for mistakes he has made to continue the practice itself to blame.
Give the blame. The fault appears to increase the emotional state and, indeed, can damage relationships. See what’s under your control to fix and what is not. Put your attention and action on what you can control.
Rethink and change the language. Instead of saying “I regret not fix things with my supervisor”, say “I hope changing situations and conflicts that may arise.”
As you go every day to take time to reflect on the “past” areas of your life. Take some time to work through listening, forgiveness and guilt. It will change your views, enhance your personal and working relationships and, best of all, help you recover forward in the future.

Other facts indicate that the emotion or feeling someone was able to have an impact on physical health disorders. Primarily on emotions that are negative, such as feelings of regret, fear of failure, anger, confusion, and so forth.

If not acted it will accumulate and can lower the immune system, disrupt breathing, increased body temperature, and the resulting depression. If it gets worse, will cause various diseases.

The best way to respond to emotions, especially the emotion of anger, is to remove it or take it out in a good and decent. Good to talk with people who make us upset. Do not get otherwise because it would not solve the problem and it will be expanded.After a quiet and emotions subside, can be followed by a prayer or worship to be more calm yourself.

Here are some of diseases associated with emotion and its cause:

A. Allergy, because the denial of the power and ability.
2. Arthritis, because the feeling unloved, rejected and feeling victimized.
3. Fever, because that is not capable of feeling anger expressed.
4. Kidney, because of disappointment, feelings of failure, shame is pressed.
5. Maag, fear, anxiety, feelings of self-satisfied.
6. Lung disease, despair, emotional exhaustion, emotional wounds.
7. Back pain, the fear of money, to feel burdened.
8. Back pain, because the sense of not being loved, need affection.
9. Heart, because the sense of loneliness, feeling of worthlessness, fear of failure and anger.
10. Cancer, due to pent-up hatred or chronic liver meal.
11. Diabetes, as stubborn, unwilling to be blamed.
12. Glaucoma, the pressure of the past and unable to forgive.
13. Acne, because they do not accept yourself, not like in yourself.
14. Aches, because he wanted to be loved and cherished, hugged and shared needs.
15. Obesity, for fear, to be protected, hidden anger, do not want to forgive.
16. Minus the eyes, for fear of the future.
17. Plus eye, unable to forgive the past.

Ebony Ebodarbla is 21 years old. For her, it is not love without an unusual, exciting, and daring experience. She would not mind if her sweetie needed to be completely sure before falling for her. It is  rather difficult for her to resist someone who is amusing and enjoyable. Her seduction method expresses strong emotions. Her ideal date is an exciting and romantic evening together.

Favel  Freflagolhai is 26 years old. She thinks that it is not love without starting out as friends first. She would not mind if her sweetie expected complete loyalty from her. It is  rather difficult for her to resist someone who is beautiful, smart, and elegant. Her seduction method is amusingly unconventional, and never exactly the same. Her ideal date is a a long walk to an isolated, particular place to have a picnic.

Bahjibaji Bahjoy is 24 years old. For her, it is not love without flirting. She would not mind if her sweetie always had to get the last word in.  It is  rather difficult for her to resist someone who is philosophical and independent. Her seduction method is a superb ability to be able to change readily to meet new circumstances. Her ideal date is an intense exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings in a small restaurant, eating light meals. 

Calca Calaussta is 23 years old. For her, it is not love without romance. She would not mind if her sweetie needed to be the center of attention. It is rather difficult  for her to resist someone who is friendly, pleasant, affable, and  fashionably elegant. Her seduction method is to be able to ask the right questions. Her ideal date is a long walk in a wonderful mountain landscape.

I wasn’t worried if anyone would wonder. Though I am not in a relationship (romantic) I am loved. Just before leaving home I told my son I loved him. He replied saying he loved me. I had spoken to my sister and niece the night before, so they knew I loved them. I had posed it to my Facebook. There were no doubts in our minds. I hadn’t wondered if I would think about such a thing as that ;at a moment such as that but I did. I was content.

I had always told my family members I loved them on occasion of course. But in this last year of my life I have begun to say it everyday. I can honestly say it was because of someone I met. He told me everyday after he declared his love; that he loved me. I use to wonder at it. I wondered why he said it so much. It made me uncomfortable in the beginning. I had always believed unfoundedly if you say it so much it makes one suspicious. Why are you saying it, kind of like, “What did you do?” mentality.

Then I begin to like hearing it. It made me feel good, special…to knew someone felt such emotion and depth of feeling for me. This person use to play a song everyday for me as well. The song explained why he told me this everyday. He said for as long as we were together and after he wanted me to know he had loved me. As I said I had never thought about how those words change our lives. They can blind us or open our eyes. 

Some of us think it’s not important to say you love someone other then family or a lover. Whomever is important to you. We may feel “Well they know it already. I’ve said it before.”  Well let me tell you it is important! For you to say it, for you to hear it.  It is a natural need fulfilled to give and receive love. Not just actions  and but verbal acknowledgement are so very vital. 

I can tell you if I had died I would have been content to know I had spoken my love to the ones love. They would have the last memory of me: telling them how much they meant to me. I would have had the same. It was a validation that I was grateful for them in my life. Wither we admit it or not we all seek some form of validation. When we hear the words “I love you”, it sets off a chemical reaction in us that says “YES!”  I am special to not only to myself, but to someone else in this journey.  

I say I love you everyday now because of him.  I may not get the chance to do it again tomorrow. I don’t want anyone that cares for me to wonder if I loved them. It was my comfort in that moment. It was my number one on my bucket list.  I love to hear those words and I love to say them.  If you love them tell them. Its simple.  All the material stuff matters a damn if there is no love.  Love is manna to us humans; admit it or not.    

 Cool down. Getting too emotional means you are opening another chance for them to criticize you. Everybody has got the right to share their opinion, even though their opinions might upset you.

 Open your mind. You might think what they have said is wrong, but they think the otherwise around. People have different angle in viewing so many thing in life. Try to understand their point of view before giving any appropriate respond.

 Never take it too personal. Taking things too personal is equal to torturing yourself. So, let it go and see how things flow.

 Asking why and how. Ask for more information on the thing being criticized. Use the information to do some reality check or finding new solutions.

 Be quiet. Replying criticism with another criticism might spark unnecessary debate. So, be quiet when there were no better things to say.

 Second opinion might be needed. Ask for a fair opinion from others. That way you can be sure whether the criticism is right or wrong.

 Get used to it. Life is a long journey and you’ll never know when you’ve got to deal with another criticism. So, once you’ve managed to deal with a criticism in a calm and positive way, just keep it that way.