The Brain: Now let’s get to the brass tacks of it! The first six to twelve months of an intimate and sexual relationship is all about the neurotransmitters running through that organ you like to call a brain and mess with the rest of your body entirely! There is an increase in dopamine and a lowering of the serotonin levels that makes everything feel so wonderful and gives you the ability to do more and get more accomplished. It increases your emotional attachment to the newly-formed coupling to get the biological reproductive job finished of making a baby and gets you into a whole lot of domestic albeit temporary bliss.

The Social: Most people don’t really know what to do beyond this phase, that is why it either scares them off or they have to constantly break-up with their partners to get to the next “new” relationship and the only thing they really know about love, the puppylust phase. A lot of times its both, people are scared and excited with a new relationship because their partner might be an unknown quantity. Now imagine being from a large city with disposable partners. Maybe you didn’t get married or were only married once.

As an older woman on the dating scene, there is the view from this age is really comical! Since the tables are turned and now, the female is at a sexual peak without a real partner, dating is just one sitcom after another! If I she wants a partner who can keep up, then she has to go for the younger men, but they have nothing to offer in terms of intellectual or emotional support. The men her age that she attempts to take seriously just want to use the date as an interview process. Really, if there has been communication on a dating site that is supposed to take care of the compatibility, shouldn’t it just be about going out to have fun? What if she promises to not be a serial killer or religious fanatic? But how is she supposed to deal with the puppylust thingy? Is this phase not to be trusted and a suppression of all emotion to take place? Or should the euphoric feeling to be embraced and keep the fingers crossed that the gentleman will be able to see the roller coaster ride of the puppylust stage through to the other end of a whole and healthy relationship?

Maybe it’s time to buckle up for another roller coaster ride that might, just might, get beyond the puppylust phase.

Happiness experts tell us that we can be happier if we try. The happiness gurus advise us that happiness can be created by thought or meditation. To make yourself happier and increase the happiness in your life, think about happiness. Think tranquility, think euphoria, think bliss. Contemplate or meditate about happiness or bliss. Meditating about happiness will create happiness in your life. Imagining that you are happy, you will be happy and you were happy in the past will also increase your happiness.

Our happiness quest is motivated by an interest in health and longevity, not just happiness. Research has shown that our emotions influence our health. Studies have determined that optimistic people live longer than pessimistic people. People who are optimistic that have a good self-image are healthier than people who have low self-esteem.

Studies indicate that going outside for a walk will improve your mood and make you happier. Exercising also increases endorphins and happiness. So if you are feeling low, go outside and go for a walk or exercise. 

Improving your environment could also increase your happiness. Try to make the area more positive and peaceful. Add some art or decorations you like to your living area. If you don’t like the news on the radio or TV, turn it off. Reducing clutter and making the area more pleasant will help you to feel better.

Positive psychology teaches us that the positive thoughts and emotions are better for our mental and physical health. We should have a positive focus, positive thoughts and feelings and a positive attitude. People should try to be happy and think positive thoughts. Using affirmations, meditation, stress management and guided imagery could help us to live better, happier lives.

Try to have a positive attitude. A positive happiness exercise is to think of yourself as a happy person. This could help you to establish better habits that encourage happiness. Having hobbies and interests could help you in your happiness quest. Don’t just sit in a chair and watch TV. Having a hobby like photography enables you to put snapshots of happy experiences in your scrapbook. Looking at the photos and thinking about them also helps you to be happier.  

Fun, smiling and laughter increase the happiness in our lives. Start the day with a smile and you’ll be happier. Smiling helps you to feel happy and positive. Throughout the day pause, put a smile on your face and try to be happy.

Research indicates that communicating with family and friends helps people to be happier. Visit with friends and relatives and go places with them. Keep in touch with your friends and family via phone, mail or email. The socializing and connecting helps to increase your happiness and theirs.

Holding your thumb, ring finger and little finger together may help you to be happier. Rotating your hands and feet ten times in each direction may release endorphins that improve your mood. Massaging your shoulders can help you to relax and be happier.

On the other hand if the liquid being, is alcoholic, phenolic, the moment of caress will ignite what was there to begin with into a bigger flame. The flame will explode with passion. The secret behind the spark lies in both partners, we need the chemistry of the flame and the molecules of the alcohol.
It is evident that opposites attract, 2 different entities, made of different substances, different experiences, can combine so well, teach each other , teach what the other doesn´t know, and they will continue to combine and combine, each night, platonic love, explosions in the bedroom, fireworks, colours, scents, smells, euphoria, music….

When there is a flame, either water can combine to it, or alcohol. There is no other option. Black or white, all or nothing. There is no in-between. Love is there or not. It is a feeling deep inside, love cannot be created, but it comes in many forms. However, the moment love is lost, it is lost forever, you cannot recapture it. You may still have feelings, but those are of a different nature now. The moment has passed. You must now move on, move on to the next flame…..

And keep in mind, with the naked eye one cannot tell if the liquid is water or alcohol, this is the same with love, relationships, it is a kind of gamble. You never know what you will get, what type of partner, what type of flame or liquid…

You may be fond of claiming that you can take, it or leave it, when it comes to sex, but reality could easily be very different, and moving, unrestrained, from one sex partner to another, may be far more unnatural, in truth,  than you might ever have believed.  The release of the hormonesn vasopressin and oxytocin, is stimulated, in people,  by the sex act, though how these affect the human brain, is not yet well understood by science.

The unassuming Prairie voles, apparently, only ever have one sexual life partner, having a specific, mental, smell-based map of their partners, firmly imprinted on their brains. Strong hints are now surfacing, that the hormone pair mentioned, could be related to the feeling of love in humans, studies of primates, man’s closest relatives, having shown that monogamous apes, unexpectedly, have higher levels of vasopressin, in the brain reward centres, than is the case with varieties who have many sexual partners.

Andreas Bartels, and Semir Zeki, researchers at University College, London, some years ago, located areas of the brain, that are, in humans activated by romantic love, conducting a study of brain activity, finding that only a small area is active in love, compared with brain activity involved in, for example, ordinary friendship, the area concerned being responsible, also, for so-called gut feelings, and in generating the euphoria induced bynarcotics.

Brains of people, who are supposedly deeply in love, look unlike those of people experiencing strong emotions, but actually more like those of people high on drugs. Love, therefore, employs exactly the same neural mechanisms, as those are activated during the addictive cycle of activity, making humans most likely to be, quite literally, addicted to love, when we experience it.

A lot of variation is evident, it must be said, in the vasopressin-receptor gene, observed in human biology. Future scientists may, conceivably, be able to genotype people, and also predict their future fidelity, or likely lack of it. Already proved possible, to tinker with genetic inheritance, with startling results, by scientists working with prairie voles, strengthening the ability of these creatures in creating partner attachments.

Researchers have also been scanning the brains of lovers, helping understand what love is all about. Researcher at Rutgers University, Helen Fisher, suggested that love is a three-tier process, involving lust, romantic love and long-term attachment, each of which tiers having unique chemical signals.

Psychologist at Concordia University, Montreal, named Jim Pfaus, believes that yhe immediate aftermath, of lustful sex, mimics the state induced, in humans, by the taking of opiates like heroin. Chemical changes occur, including increasing levels of serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin and endogenous opioids (the body’s natural equivalent of heroin), serving perhaps to relax the body, induce pleasure and induce bonding.  

Romantic, or obsessive love, is the sort that induces people to home in, on a particular mate, in a state characterised by feelings of exhilaration, some thinking that this shares some neuro-chemical characteristics with the condition of manic depression, romantic love, in earnest, being one of the strongest human  drives on Earth, even more powerful than hunger, and unrelenting.. Unstable,  in truth, this type of love can progress to long-term attachment, co-operation in the  raising of children, and feelings of calm, security, and emotional union, though it is possible to love more than one person, at the same time, because all that nature intended for humanity was simply to reproduce, and love was never a factor..

Men are made lustful much more easily than women, the reason why visual pornography is more often associated with the male. Men lust after youth and beauty, women being more attracted to money, education and position, but love is about much more than simple genetics. People learn from sexual and social experiences, that arousal comes naturally, but long-term success in mating requires this social education to take place, which may account for some people tending to date the same “type” of partner, over and over again, in search of the right one.

Speculation exists, that humans develop a kind of “love map” , as they mature, forming a kind of blueprint, containing all the things that they have learned are attractive to themselves. An inner scorecard, if you will, seems to be something that people use, to rate the suitability of mates, though humans being born with a “soul mate” wired into their genetic selves is highly unlikely.

Love, it would appear, may simply be a chemical state, with genetic roots, and environmental influences that control it, making it theoretically possible, to create a more sociable or more loving human being, and the possibility is, that information, about genetic roots of fidelity, may in future answer questions, such as your partner really loving you, or  not. Getting a kick out of someone, so research tells us, is a natural chemical high, love therefore being, as we all knew, simply a special kind of chemistry. Why mess with it?

Life might not be a “bed of thorns,” but is definitely not a “bed of roses.”  All the money in this world could not serve as the master-key to all closed doors, except those that could provide transitory comfort and convenience and a medium through which we could be positioned to fulfill certain material needs; when at certain fleeting moments, we might want to satiate our appetite for fancies and frivolities that could not endure forever; when under certain circumstances, we could be steered toward certain accessible ports in the storms of life, or be able to ride the waves of changing circumstances.  But, with all the means that we possess in the way of escaping the pressures and stresses of life, we could not, by any means, save ourselves from a fatal illness or death, nor find any kind of redemption from a preordained misery or misfortune.

Ask the millionaires and billionnaires as to how they feel with the wealth that they possess, and they would tell you, in no uncertain terms, that the element of joy that they had once felt, had lost its edge with the lapse of time; that they are presently left with the burden of financial responsibilities, such as taxes, charities, as well as a number of other social obligations, and that the original euphoria that they had once experienced had melted away, leaving only the essence of meaningful deeds that they are obliged to perform.  At this stage, the joy of giving becomes more important than the pleasure of ownership, and the results therefrom, might, indeed, be forever.

Our bodies require several necessary ingredients in order to survive. We require an ongoing supply of air, water for the necessary fluids in our bodies, nutritional foods that supply the needs for cellular growth and exercise for cellular maintenance. Without these necessary ingredients our bodies begin to break down on a path to eventual death.

An ongoing supply of air provides the necessary oxygen that our cells require. Our respiratory system is the pump that feeds the oxygen to the cells. Smoking or breathing exposure to toxic gases replaces the necessary oxygen with chemicals that affect the cells in a derogatory manner. The brain is expecting oxygen and it gets shocked when it has to process something other than it requires. Tobacco or drug smoking causes an initial oxygen deprivation high and then replaces the gas with the chemical substance that creates a euphoric or semi-disorienting effect. Repeated oxygen substitution leads to eventual cellular breakdown. Our most immediate and important need is to breathe. Without it we would die within minutes.

Water is necessary in our bodies for the creation of the fluids that are required to transport food to the cells and remove waste from the cells. Over the past few years the emphasis on the ingestion of water has come to the forefront of those seeking maximum health. We have been told by many experts to ingest at least 8 glasses of water every day. How many people do you know actually do that? Not many people that I have seen drink that much water. Most people get their water from their morning coffee, sugar ridden juice drinks and soda. All of these are not pure sources of water. Our bodies manufacture the carbohydrate sugar fuel glucose in order to burn energy. Water and glucose are the battery of our cellular systems. The most natural way to get both of these items is to regularly ingest fruits and vegetables. The water and fructose in fruits and vegetables supply our bodies with the necessary raw ingredients to charge our batteries. No matter what type of sugar we ingest, the body converts it to glucose. However, the side effects of regular ingestion of concentrated sugars lead to diabetes and hypoglycemia. The pancreas produces insulin, which enables cells to absorb glucose and convert it into energy. We either cannot produce enough insulin or we produce too much.

Our cells require both organic and inorganic foods. Organic foods provide protein, carbohydrates and fats. Inorganic foods are the necessary cell salts (minerals) that trigger the electrical cell batteries to burn energy. Cells do not naturally produce their own minerals and grow by a process of cellular division. They burn energy in the process. As a result of their burning energy, waste products are produced. These waste products remain within the body of the cells until they can be removed. The process of waste removal comes under the heading of cellular maintenance.

Our circulatory systems are focused around the heart as its pump. But what about the removal of waste from the cells? Do we leave garbage around our houses or do we put it in the trash can and have the garbage man pick it up once or twice a week? Our lymphatic system is in charge of removing the waste from our cells but does not have a pump like the circulatory system. It requires regular and consistent exercise to move the cellular waste through the lymphatic fluid to discharge it from the body. Sedentary lifestyles are like leaving the garbage outside of your house without a consistent pickup. Eventually it will reek to high heaven and the stink will make you sick.

Proper maintenance of our physical chemistry requires an adequate supply of oxygen, proper and sufficient ingestion of water and healthy foods and regular and sufficient exercise to remove waste from our bodies. Without a consistent and ongoing plan to grow and maintain our physical health our bodies will begin to deteriorate and this deterioration will affect the emotional, mental and spiritual aspects of our beings. Each aspect affects the others. We are psycho-physical units that operate on a balance of all of our individual aspects.

Breathing efficiently, eating and drinking correctly and exercising regularly are the keys to a balanced physical chemistry. Our bodies are worth it because they are our life vehicles. Would you put water in the gas tank of your car? I doubt it. Respect your life vehicle like you respect your car. It will provide many long years of insight, health and movement.

In another articleI wrote about the alternative therapy technique known as Hemi Synchronization. It is a technique through which varying levels of sound play to produce a state in your mind to bring your right and left brain hemispheres into perfect wave length synchronicity. As a result, your mind is brought to the greatest level of well-being and tranquility, a state that will enable you to function at your highest levels of productivity, joy, and health. I personally experienced this technique and felt euphoric, weightless, free and boundless from the material worries of this world. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life and it was from start to end a natural, beautiful high.

This state of euphoria, I believe, is comparable to Brian Tracy’s (self-made millionaire) idea of the state of “flow”, a state in which you are able to work with the seamless energy: A state when you are able to focus with your entire being on one thing at a time. Tracy explains that the most successful people in this world are able to do this. They are able to focus from beginning to 100% project completion, sometimes without needing to take a break, or through more hours than the average person may typically be able to. In other words, he claims that successful people are able to maintain long term levels of concentration. Their focus is not easily diverted and their energy seems to not only remain fixed on the project at hand, but become increasingly energized through the act of focusing and working on one thing at a time.

Reaching this incredible state is possible through many avenues. People have found it through nature, through massage, through yoga, and countless other activities. An avid athlete might call it the “runner’s high”. I believe this state is a result of fully being present in the moment so that you are highly aware of all your senses, bringing you to a state of complete intimacy and peace with yourself. This is when, I believe, this state is reached within any activity.

The reason I believe visualization is one of the most powerful and effective avenues of reaching this state of optimal desire is simple. It is something that can be done at anytime of the day. It does not take extra equipment, a specific environment, etc. All it takes is your imagination and your thoughts, period. There is no cost, no interruption in your day, no need to plan or rearrange your schedule to fit it in. It is the ultimate, most powerful form of therapy. It is your mind.

If you are anxious or unsure of how or what this entails entirely, there are self-help books, tapes and CD’s available that can teach and guide you. An example of such a guiding activity may be conducted as follows:

Lie flat on the floor. Relax. Breathe slowly, in out, in out. Do this for the next minute. Now, imagine a place or thing that has made you feel completely at ease and tranquil, the beach, a vacation, your favorite song. Now, imagine what that place looks like, or what the words and melodies of that song contain. Imagine every single detail about it: touch, taste, smell, colors. Take as long as you want to. Now, continue relaxing with this image in your mind for the next 5-10 minutes.

After such an exercise, you will feel a remarkably different state of well-being and sense of peace. The more you practice this, the more you will be able to envision such a perfect vision during any time of the day instantly conjuring up the great feelings and emotions associated with the visualization powerfully eradicating any negativity you were experiencing beforehand. It is an incredibly powerful technique that will help enrich your life any time of the day.

Joie Schmidt © Copyright 2008 All Rights Reserved.

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Dreams of the Heart – volume I by Joie Schmidt is available:

  * Volume I: Amazon Kindle, Adobe Reader, iTunes, iPod, iPhone, iPad and iBooks

Dreams of the Heart – volume II is available:

  * Volume II: Amazon Kindle, Adobe Reader

———> Stay tuned . . . vol. II will soon be available on iTunes, iPod, iPhone, iPad and iBooks!

(*In memoriam of the tragedy in Japan all proceeds from – volume I – sales will go to the relief efforts until 3/11/12)

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For more great reading:

• Love is Worth the Risk
• Tips to Keep You Motivated
• Mission Statement: Your Life
• Boost Your Self Esteem Easily
• Make Everything You Publish Count
• Claude Monet’s Famous Wheatstacks
• Secrets for Finding Love and Commitment
• Borba: It’s How the Celebrities Stay Beautiful from the Inside Out

Do you have a story, poem, artwork or photography you’d like to share and earn residual income for life? Please check out this site to earn limitless income for life: Triond