April ,Paphos 1999

It was approaching Easter time at home, “a” had sent the twist back to catch his best fairs and Yhan took the Dutch lucky number game home also. Mr“A” had ideas about staying the summer and setting up a permanent funfair park in Limassol on the sea front. Thoughts about this had been circulating since we first arrived in Cyprus, now it was coming to decision time. He and George had secured an empty plot of land next to McDonalds. The location seemed like a dead certainty , but the terrain was waste ground and would require a lot of work. “c” had started to look in Europe for another ride to bring here for the summer. “d” was taking the superbob home ,but decided to make a stall to stay the summer with and also leave two round games and the balloon slide all of which his sisters in law was going to look after. As for me , I wasn’t in a position to leave equipment here and for reasons to become clear in the next three weeks, would think it was going to be no good anyway.

The site at Paphos was the best we had been on. It was next to the old Keo brewery. It was near the town and had a low wall around it with a lockable double gate. It was a white kind of gravel surface, perfectly flat and made the site look very clean as if on a marble floor. The only problem was it gave us snow blindness and we had to wear sunglasses all the time because of the glare from it. The hotel we were staying in was the Damon. It was fine and had a large swimming pool. We almost lost “w” in this, she was with the other kids in the small pool. She was wearing an inflatable ring around her waist. She dropped her doll in the pool and as she bent down to pick it up she flipped right over and the ring held her head under and her legs in the air. We were all at the pool sunbathing but didn’t see this happen! Luckily one of the other kids of the same age seen her and pulled her upright. What a fright when they told us. After that no rubber ring , only armbands. I still have nightmares now when I think back about it. We will never be as lucky again.

The night I pulled the ride into Paphos was so clear, the stars were bright and this seemed like a different planet not a different country. The air was warm and I could not believe we only had four weeks to go until home. Our original flight tickets were to expire in two weeks, so my father and mother in law were to go home then. My wife and family would change our tickets for an extended period to finish this fair.

April 1999 Paphos

The day we were building up at Paphos was the hottest yet, The chap looking after the Medusa dark show asked me to move it for him onto its plot as he had no transport for it (Yhan had taken it back with him). Unknown to me the trailer brake had not been applied. When I shunted the unit under the front of the trailer it slid back off the two blocks and the front legs sank into the soft gravel. We could not get them to lift the truck up again. Eventually I asked Eric to lift it with his Hiab. This it just managed to do with all the alarms buzzing! I hastily got the lorry under to couple up.

The fair was setup and ready for operation by mid week, it was the Greek Easter from Friday and our Easter was next Friday. I though double dunt week, great! There were a couple of spaces in the fair due to equipment leaving for home. It was here that the real reason for the basketball game become apparent. Hank had a large cover made for it. Then he removed the baskets and hung the prizes along the back of the stall. It was identical in appearance to the lucky numbers game, this had been his plan all along! The Irishman asked me to make a game for his hoopla he had just acquired from the U.K. That would be another £50 for me on top of the basketball fee (if I ever got paid). He wanted a toss the coin on the square game. This was obviously because he seen how the Cypriots like to gamble and this was as close as you could get without using a roulette wheel. The next couple of days were spent marking out over 800 squares onto a 2 meter diameter table. Then I had to mark each one with a prize value from 20c to £5. It was taking so long that eventually there were six of us using marker pens to write the values. A few days later there was a near riot at the game. Two large Cypriots who had been playing at one spot for over an hour had eventually won. The only problem was that some clown had changed the 75c to £75. The Irishman tried always to avoid payment but the Cypriots had none of it and he eventually paid out. No one knows to this day except the culprit who changed the table markings. After that the Irishman inspected the table everyday.

The journey to Larnaca was too far now and we decided to stop the children going to the private teacher. They had done a lot of work in the last three months and it did make an improvement to “r”s education.

The first night open at Pathos was Wednesday night. It was a buster for me, the twist ride had gone home and unluckily for “d” the superbob broke down due to a wheel ballrace. My ride went hard at it for three hours , so did the games and pop it ons. This was what we had all been waiting for. This was the first fair to visit here ever. The fair looked well as Mr “A” had decorated the perimeter wall with hundreds of yards of rope light. The site was so large that we used the front half as a car park. This led to a slight problem on the first Friday night. A local Cypriot trader decide to park in our car park and then start to trade his wares. He used his van as a mobile stall. M “A” and the security tried to move him off, but he refused to go. It was only when Eric parked the Hiab lorry next to his van and threatened to lift it out that the Cypriot decided to move off. A number of them did setup market stalls and tables outside the gate of the fair to peddle their goods.

Eventually “d” found a small engineers to make him a new nylon wheel for the ride, but it would take another day. This delayed his opening again and for that week I was very busy everyday. Eventually “d” went back to Limassol to try and find wheels for the ride from a scrap yard. They were the same type as old hospital trolleys. He ended up in a scrap yard belonging to an old Cypriot called ‘crazy Michael’. Luckily he found spare wheels to repair his ride there.

My father in law and I also went to this scrap yard to source five core cable for the ride. I was going to need some now for when I returned home since I had changed the ride from 110v dc. I went to the yard office in Limassol. As I walked in there were two of the most stunningly beautiful women I had ever seen. They had dark hair, dark eyes and olive skin. They both were made up like models and had figures to suit. Both were in their thirties I would guess.

I asked for crazy Michael, by the look on their faces I quickly realised that they did not care for the ‘crazy’ part of his title. It was revealed to me later by George , that Michael was in his eighties and attending hospital in London for a heart condition. Those two beautiful women were his daughters and run the business for him. Apparently, Michael made his fortune while working for the British army in the 50’s. He was in charge of the fuel depot. In those days they were allowed up to 20% loss a day on the fuel through evaporation. You don’t have to be a master mind to work out what that led to! George said that the “English were very stupid” no doubt George associated with Michael during their younger days. The daughters summoned a Cypriot worker to take me and my father in law to the main yard a short car trip away. When we got there, behind the locked gate it was a treasure trove of ex-army surplus and assorted ‘good junk’. There was a mountain of “jerry” cans, engines, alternators, aircraft parts, armoured cars etc etc. After a short search we found what we were looking for. I pulled out the cable into a straight line to inspect it. The Cypriot pulled out a measuring tape. He gave one end to my father in law to hold. As we walk to the other end , my father in law waited and then followed us a bit to make the measurement shorter (we still laugh about it). With the measurement taken, it was time to haggle the price. I could speak no Cypriot and he could speak no English and we eventually reached an agreement by scratching figures into the ground with a stick! (we still laugh about that too). He wanted £160 CY for the cable. It was bought for £120 CY. This was £80 to Michael, £40 for the Cypriot and £40 to me that I saved from original price, plus thirty feet that was not measured. That cable still works fine today.

The dodgem had developed a problem, the transformer had gotten damaged during erecting the ride and it finally packed in. Lucky for “c” my transformer was sitting idle on the ride since I had changed to 3 phase in Limassol. We ran a main from “c”s generator to the centre of my ride and into the transformer. Then we ran the return feed back again to the dodgem ride. It was over 200 ft of main in all, but it worked fine until “c” got his repaired.
As the first 10 days of Pathos were the Greek Easter holiday period we were busy every night. I finally got even with the cash I had deposited into Mr “A”s bank account in Feb. Then on the Monday it was like a light going out. I have never seen this before. We were opening and not seeing one person. It was approaching our Easter now, but we had been getting money only from the locals. Now they were working to accommodate the British holiday makers and the Brits weren’t on holiday to come to the fair. This meant we never seen any Brits at all. This is why I thought that staying the summer would be no good and was happy to be going home in three weeks. It was time also for my in laws to go home. They were worried that it would get busy again, but I said there was not much chance and any way we had arranged some foreign help for the games (a Chinese girl) , Hank had hired a Russian girl to look after the lucky numbers game. That next day my in laws returned to the U.K. Business was so bad at Pathos now that the Chinese girl refused to take wages from me! I was only giving her £5 a night! I had to force the money on her. She would stay in the stall at all times, no toilet breaks, no meal breaks, it was embarrassing. The only time she left the game was one night when two policemen happened to walk through the fair. All the new foreign workers disappeared. It became clear that they thought it was immigration officials. These young workers were all students studying here in Cyprus on scholarships and were not allowed to work. If they got caught they would get sent home. After the police left they all resumed their places. The Chinese girl wanted to return to the UK and stay with my wife and I. If British workers had this kind of loyalty today, we might still be an empire.
We had two weeks to go. Money was tight again. “c” was in Europe trying to get a new ride for the proposed permanent park in Limassol. “d” was building a mobile stall (with my help) to stay at the permanent park with. One day we went to get materials to finish the stall. We had several 10ft x 5ft sheets of tin to transport. The only way to get them into the car was to roll them like a tube and put them across the back seat. Halfway back they decided to unroll and nearly decapitated us I had a slow puncture on the front of the lorry. I went to get a new tyre for the vehicle. I found a tyre services just on the edge of the town. I arranged for then to come down and repair the tyre. Later that day the two Cypriots came down to the fair with a van. I should them the lorry and flat tyre. When I opened their van I saw no spare tyre, no tools, no wheel key. I asked them how were they going to change the tyre with no equipment. The Cypriots explained in broken English that they would drive the lorry to their workshop to change the tyre and then bring it back. They also stated that they were looking forward to driving an E.R.F, as there were none on the island. Sorry to burst their bubble , but I needed this lorry to get home and there was no way I was going to let them go joy riding around in it. I drove the lorry to the tyre services and back.

The hire event for Dhekelia was this weekend (Saturday). It was supposed to be “c” doing it with the dodgem but he was in Europe. I asked Mr”A” if I could do it. He said he had offered it to “d” for the superbob. It turned out that “d” didn’t want to do it because if this weekend was like the first he would earn more money here than the hire fee. That was it, I took the gamble that this Saturday would be like the weekdays prior (even though it was our Easter) and be no good. The plan was on Friday night I would pull the ride down, drive 120 miles through the night to Dhekelia base and set the ride up to be ready for 11am. My 12yr old son ”r” would have to help me. My wife and the Chinese girl would stay at Pathos for Saturday to look after the games. There was one other condition, Mr “A” insisted that the ride be back in Pathos and operational for 12pm on Sunday. I agreed.

On Friday we were sitting in our hotel room. There was a knock at the door. When we opened it, I couldn’t believe who was standing there. We were all shocked! It was a sight for sore eyes, my in laws had returned! They had got home to an empty chalet, sat on the couch for an hour and decided they didn’t want to be in cold miserable Scotland and immediately booked a return flight. They ditched their package holiday room and moved back into the Damon beside all of us. Great! I said to my father in law, ‘we’re going to Dhekelia on Friday night!”

Friday was another disaster for business. I had to wait until the fair closed and at 10 pm started to dismantle the ride. “d” and his staff came over to help me and by 12am I was ready to leave. “m” my father in law was to drive the car, “r” my son would come with me in the lorry. Shortly after midnight we left to drive the 120miles across the island back through Limassol, past Nicosia, through Larnaca and by Ayia Napa to Dhekelia base.
It was tricky again through the mountain roads, but it was quiet and I could take the corners wide. It was a cool night and the lorry seemed to fly. At 4am we arrived at Dhekelia just as the sun was starting to rise. I knew were the ride was to be set up as I came a day before and met with the event organiser. We wasted no time and started to erect the ride. By 7.30 am it was ready for operation. I took this opportunity to return to Larnaca to enquire about bathroom fittings for our new caravan at home. I arrived there at 8.30 am and slept in the car while I waited for the shop to open. This meant that “m” and “r” would sleep in the lorry back at the base. “m” couldn’t stretch out in the lorry and ended up sleeping on the treadplate floor of the ride. He still complains about it to this day! I visited the shop and returned to Dhekelia just after 10am. Mr “a” had arrived with the t-cups ride by this time. The set up was simple- this was the army bases open day. They would sell ride tickets to the visitors and we would give them a go on our ride. There were all kind of army recruitment displays, tanks, helicopters and the must see of a lifetime The Red Arrows. When I saw them do their show it was amazing, the whole event came to a stand still as the crowds watched. I felt proud to be British. My son had a great day with all the soldiers and he only came back periodically to the ride to check in with me. “M” and I looked after the ride and a sergeant collected the ride tickets. He said they had done this for many years and it was usually an old Cypriot dodgem ride that came to the event. He said this was the best ride they had ever had there and it was the first to be making a profit for them above the hire fee!
It was a beautiful day and at 6.30 pm we closed and started to dismantle the ride. The event organiser came over and paid me my £1500 CY. I felt like a millionaire. This was our profit for being in Cyprus for over four months!

At 8:30 pm we were ready to head back to Paphos. It had been a long day and we were tired, but unknown to us, it was about to get a lot longer…….
I had just settled down for the return trip to Paphos. We had only travelled about 5 miles when I noticed the temperature gauge was in the red. Quickly I pulled over onto the hard shoulder and stopped the engine before it seized up. There was water dripping out from under the front of the lorry. At that “m” pulled up behind me in the car. We tipped the cab and I could see a burst water pipe coming from the radiator. I give “m” a 25lt can and sent him to find water. While he was away I tried to repair the hose by wrapping a cloth around it and then taping over it. For over an hour “r” and I waited in the cab for “m” to return. When he did I asked where he had been. He told me that none of the Cypriot houses could give him water as they only get a supply three days a week! Only hotels and tourist accommodation has a permanent supply of water. He had eventually got water by driving to the beach. We carefully poured the water into the radiator. It was just enough to fill it up. I started up the engine, it was still leaking but only a drip. Wasting no time I jumped into the lorry and set sail for Paphos again. As I passed Larnaca the temperature gauge started to ride again. I kept the lorry in top gear to reduce the engine revs and maintain maximum speed to keep as much air flow over the engine as possible. As we got to Limassol I had to stop again. I pulled off the motorway down to where I had parked the lorry 10 weeks ago , when we first came to Limassol. Across the road I could see a building site. I thought – you need water to mix concrete. There was no night watchman and the gates were locked. There was no choice, we cut the chain with a hacksaw and entered. There was no running water from any hoses, but then I noticed three large rain barrels full to the brim. “m” said we needed to fill our can and carry more water spare to get us to Paphos. He was right but we only had one can. Then I noticed another can next to a cement mixer. It was full of diesel. I didn’t hesitate, I poured it out so I could fill it with water. “m” had disappeared and a few minute later returned with a large bin. From the rain barrels we filled the two cans and the bin. The bin was so large that we had to put it in the boot of the car and leave the boot open.
With the lorry filled with water again, off we went. All the way to Paphos I had one eye on the road and the other on the temperature gauge. At the top of the steep hill we stopped again and filled the radiator again. By now the water was gushing out. I calculated it would be tight in reaching Paphos before the water was done. Of again and not sparing the horses I pushed it hard all the way. After another 30 minute we were back in Pathos. As we got to the gate, I switched the engine off and rolled into the fair. It was nearly 1am. Face black and wearing my overalls I went straight to the pub for a pint.

The next morning I got up early to erect the ride again as I said I would to Mr “A”. Just before 12pm we were ready to open. Business was terrible just had it had been the entire week before. Mr “A” came to me and said that this was the last night. They were dismantling the fair to go to Limassol to prepare for the permanent park. I was gutted, why didn’t he tell me? Why did he let me build up again for a Sunday that was no good?
The next day the fair was packing up. “d” took the hoopla game stall I had come with. He was taking it to Limassol as its original owner was coming out to use it here for the summer. That was fortunate as it saved me taking it home.

A few days earlier my wife had been window shopping with “d”s wife and they had spotted a couple of bargain price leather couches. “d” wife wanted a 3 piece suite and mine, a two and a three seater settee. They were cheaper than back home, so this is were the hire money went from Dhekilia. We arranged delivery of the settees for the morning. I had half the ride packed up. I had stored all my barrels onto the ride and was awaiting the local garage owner to come down and fill them. Shortly after he did the settees arrived and we packed mine on my ride and “d”s into his. Then I packed the luggage and the rest of the ride on top of the barrels. As I started to lift the ride it suddenly occurred to me that the weight was now greatly increased and maybe the hydraulics would not lift it. The ride did lift and I quickly coupled up in case the hydraulic rams buckled with all the extra weight. At that moment I heard a commotion at the dodgem. They had found a snake under the ride. After the initial fright they started to chase it with sticks. The snake was about four feet long and as thick as my arm. It moved incredibly fast and escaped into some nearby brush. Two passing Cypriots came over and stopped us pursuing it. They explained that it was deadly poisonous and a bite would kill in under a minute. Enough said, we all backed off. After that everyone was double careful about picking up litter or moving ground based objects.

I still had to repair the pipe on the lorry for the journey home. I went to an auto factors and sourced pipe, but I couldn’t get any antifreeze. Then I decided not to call it antifreeze but anti corrosion, hey presto! now they had it. It only took an hour to change the pipe, fill the system with water and anti freeze. Now all I had to do was drive to Limassol.

We left from Paphos after 7pm with my ride and the superbob. This was so it would be cooler on the tyres and engines. It’s a long pull up and out of Pathos up to the mountain road. By the time I got up to the main road I knew that their was still a problem with the lorry . The temperature gauge was rising again, but I had repaired the pipe, what was wrong now? I pulled in, the engine was boiling but the radiator was still full of water. “d” and I tipped the cab , but couldn’t see anything wrong. “d” pulled out his mobile phone and called home to a mechanic friend of his back in the UK. We told him the symptoms of the problem over the phone. He suggested an airlock in the water cooling pipe system. No it wasn’t that. He suggested the fan belt was off or slipping. No it wasn’t that. He suggested that the fan clutch was slipping and we lock it out by removing the air feed to it. As soon as we did this we could feel the airflow over the engine increase tenfold. That was it. Over the phone “d” was complimenting his mechanic friend , I said “tell him if he was any good , he would have told us to do that in the first place!” We dropped the cab down and set off again. The temperature was fine. I was relieved as it was only 50miles to Limassol, but I had 500 miles to go when we got back to London.

We parked the rides on the waste land in Limassol where the permanent park would be in the summer. We headed back to Paphos again. The next day we all returned to Limassol and checked into hotels. It was the end of April now and the place was busting with tourists. There were to many of us to all stay in the same accommodation, Those who were staying for the summer in the park had rented apartments or private villas now. This was cheaper than hotel rates and would probably give a more home like feel I think. My wife and I had booked into a small hotel as we had a few days to kill until our return flight. “c” would put our ride and “d”s on the boat for us so we could return home. “c” had bought a ride from Spain to come over for the summer. There were also other rides and games coming from the UK.

We flew out from Larnaca, “d” and his family, my family and a few others. We were all concerned about getting our money out of the country. I put half of our cash into empty shampoo and conditioner bottles packed in my sons carry on luggage. The rest of our money was going out the same style via my father in law, who was flying out in another couple of days. We got to the security point, just as I thought we were through the scanner, the guard called us back and began to open my son’s case. I thought the game was up. Luckily it was only his cap gun he was interested in and it was confiscated. Everyone in our group gave a sigh of relief.

It was the start of May. We had two weeks before the transport ship would dock at the Isle of Sheppey. The two weeks passed quickly as I worked on the renovation of the caravan. Mr “A” had asked if I wanted to deliver another ride to the docks while I was on my way to pick mine up. It was a waltzer ride. He offered me £500, but I wasn’t interested.

It was the second week in May when the ship docked, “d” and I flew to London and hired a car to get to Sheppey. We arranged to leave the car at the docks when we picked up the rides. I was relieved to see that there had been no damage on the return voyage. It was easier off loading the rides compared to loading and the customs procedure was quicker too. I was worried that Mr “A” would not honour is agreement to pay the boat fare both ways, but the man was good to his word and I had nothing to pay when I left the docks. Within a couple of hours we were driving home. I got a little lost and went the wrong way around the M25. By the time I got turned around “d” was about 30 minutes in front of me. He called me from the Dartford Tunnel. He had been stopped by the convoy vehicle on his approach to the tunnel. They informed him that he was an Abnormal load and required an escort. This cost him £60. He said I should pull in at the lay-by before the tunnel and wait for an escort vehicle too. I thought £60! Bugger that. As I approached the tunnel I passed “d” still waiting in the lay-by for the escort. I moved to the middle lane and kept going. A few minutes later I was through the tunnel, No escort, No £60 fee. I was well chuffed, “d” was miffed.

After that I just kept going. I only stopped once to re-fuel the lorry with my Cyprus supply. You could smell the difference, it was high in sulphur content. I phoned “d” a couple of times , he was about an hour behind me. It was late when I got to the yard in Glasgow. I stopped the engine and slowly eased out of the driving seat. My whole body was stiff and aching. The next day I started the engine to move the ride into a position were I could empty it. A red warning light glowed in the dash. The alternator fan belt had broken. Good job it didn’t happen last night! My father arrived and we off loaded the settees, market stall, barrels and the luggage. I even drained the fuel out of the generator and replaced it with gas oil. At last, job done!

I had been in Cyprus for five months. Paphos had pulled us through. At times it had been hard and we had eaten a lot of home made soup. Even then we had enjoyed the company and surroundings. My profit was two settees , some barrels of diesel ,a small amount of cash and a suntan. Just before I left the Irishman paid me the £250 for the work I had done for him. The whole trip was a great experience and I thought we could maybe return there next winter. My kids had a great time, especially “w”, for months she had bounced on the Irishman’s trampolines non-stop, like a piston in an engine. She was so small, yet so good at bouncing , it looked like a supernatural phenomenon! As for the permanent park- more rides and games went out, but business was poor. Mr “A” had a fall out with George and the park closed and everybody ended up in the courts. After three months of being closed, everyone disbanded and went their own way. I have never seen Mr “A” since. That was the end of Cyprus for the fair. It took me until December that year to finish the renovation work to the caravan. We are still living in it now. I’ve told my wife- “our next caravan is a house!” I hope to have one within this year.

It was getting near the end of another season , we were open in Perth. The weather was turning cold. There were only a couple of bonfire events left before we would pack up for another winter. My wife and I had purchased another larger caravan in the summer due to the kids getting bigger. It was to be modified by myself before we were going to move in, new bathroom, kitchen, heating, interior décor, carpets and three pull out sections to increase the floor space. This caravan had been in storage in a yard in Glasgow awaiting us pulling in for the winter so I could start the renovation. We had sold our old caravan and the new owner was due to receive it shortly. This would mean that we were going to spend a winter in a borrowed touring caravan from my father in law. Not a welcome prospect trying to live in a 6m caravan with only a small gas heater in the winter.

It wasn’t to come to that , a phone call from out of the blue to my wife from one of her friends would see to that. “A” is going back to Cyprus again this winter( he went 3 yrs earlier with a group of showmen from Scotland and England), what do you think she asked me. Well it seemed like a good idea, living in the sun for 4-6 months and possibly earning some money as-well. What about the new caravan? That would just have to wait. One phone call to “A”, a family discussion and it was all decided, we were going to go. The logistics seemed quite simple. We drive the rides down to the Isle of Sheppey were they get loaded onto a ship that sails to Cyprus. On the way the ship stops and picks up other rides from Europe. Then we fly out two weeks later to meet it and off load the equipment. The fairs are all arranged and booked up by “A”s partner (a Cypriot who he worked with in 96) in advance. Because Cyprus was an ex colony many of the laws were the same as in the U.K. So when it came to organising a funfair they just looked at the English procedure and followed that policy. All accommodation was to be in hotels and because it would be off-season the tariff would be at a reduced rate. It seemed quite simple and we were due to leave mid December, just after returning from our previously booked holiday in Benadorm.

We were on a high for the time being.

November 1999

With the bonfires behind us it was time to pack the ride in readiness for Cyprus. Since we would be living there for 5 months we had to take all our clothes and the children’s Christmas presents. Far too much to take on a plane so it was easier for it all to be packed into the ride. The ride I was taking was on a 14m artic trailer and there was plenty of room inside for the luggage. My wife’s parents were coming also to help us in Cyprus, probably because they would miss their grand children, especially “w”, who was only 3yrs old. To increase our earning potential we borrowed a hoopla stall and a market stall. I didn’t have a game to go in either of them. Since other showmen had booked stalls earlier I would have to invent something different to get a plot on the fairs. I can’t remember how I got the idea, it was throw the ball into the bin game. Easy you think? Not with the bin lids hinged and a motor fitted to open and close them rapidly. So a trip to the iron mongers for 6 galvanised bins with lids, another to the scrap yard for 6 windscreen wiper motors and I had the major components. It was quite simple, hinge the lid at one end and connect a rod from the lid to the wiper motor inside. Select the desired speed and power it from a 12v battery charger. Hey presto! Ball in the bin game. To make it harder I gave the bins assorted hardboard teeth to narrow the opening and named them accordingly- jaws, vampire, smiley etc.. As for the market stall game it would have to wait. There were some rumours that the Cyprus project was having problems recruiting operators to go, so we went to see Mr “A”. He told us everything was o.k and that he had several European showmen lined up to go, he even had video of their equipment. One thing about Mr “A” he could sell sand to the Arabs, so being reassured we continued with the project and put everything else on hold, including our new caravan renovation. We only had enough to spend on either the boat fare to Cyprus or the renovation work, we couldn’t afford to do both and we still had our holiday to go on. Off we went to sunny Spain still feeling on a high… a week into the holiday and we got a call from home, it seemed the trip was to be delayed, then later we heard it was cancelled. I felt gutted, it was at that moment I know how much I really wanted to go. All the family were on a downer and it did affect the holiday spirit.

More tomorrow

December 1999

We arrived at Glasgow airport and my father in law picked us up, as he drove us home we made plans to start the renovation work. I decided that the first thing to do was strip out the old coal fire and radiators. We were going to fit a new combi boiler and radiators through out.

We heard there was a new fair being organised in the city centre for New Year. We applied for a plot for our ride and were accepted. I remember thinking it was a shame it wasn’t for Christmas as I could have got the kids presents out of the ride for them. Two weeks before Christmas, Mr “A” phoned me, Cyprus was back on , did I still want to go? I told him I couldn’t as I had spent my boat fare on a boiler and radiators. I had the new boiler fitted and the old kitchen was ripped out. I was desperate to go, but did not have the funds now. The next day he phoned back and offered me a different deal. Mr “A” would pay a return fare for the boat and we would work at a different share percentage to compensate. I discussed it with my wife , it did seem like a good solution and I think it was a better deal than I had in the first place. The Cyprus project had also been delayed again and we would now sail on the 4th of Jan from the Isle of Sheppy. It was perfect because we would get Christmas and New Year at home plus the New Year fair before we had to leave. We were onboard again and I felt excited.

The day came to erect the equipment in the city centre for new year. As I drove the lorry to the location suddenly I felt a loss of motion and the engine revs soared. Disaster! it was the clutch. I limped the vehicle to the fair site and called out a mechanic. The next day as I erected the ride the mechanic came to inspect the lorry. The clutch was totally burnt out due to me forcing it to the fair, he couldn’t adjust it. The only option was to fit a new clutch, but he couldn’t do it in time for me to get to Sheppey. It was Dec 30th, I had to do something quick before everything was shut for New Year! Right away I got in my car and drove to the Atkinson dealer at Chapelhall and bought a new clutch off the shelf(£500 ouch!). All I had to do now was find someone to fit it.

The next day was hogmanay (new years eve) , after much searching I finally managed to get a friend’s dad to agree to meet me at the yard on new years day to change the clutch!!!! Now that’s what I call a favour. We opened at the Fair about 8pm. It was cold and dark. There wasn’t any people about until about 9pm. We did start to get busy and at 11pm I went around just to check on the generator, as I usually do when we are open. What’s that? Smoke pouring out from the canopy! As I opened the generator canopy to see inside ,I could smell smouldering coming from the dynamo. (Most older rides are powered by 110v DC motors. These motors were mostly ex M.O.D from the days of WWII. This is also true of the dynamo that powers the motors. Probably from a search light trailer or similar. It was 50 plus years old) I opened the canopy to let the heat out. The ride was going round full so I kept the generator running, as I watched it in case it burst into flames. Cyprus seemed like an impossible task now-no clutch and no generator what was I going to do????

Jan 1st 1999

The generator amazingly ran the rest of the night and into the New Year without a problem. This wasn’t really a good thing because it led to a choice- ignore the problem or try to fix it. To fix it I needed another dynamo. Where was I going to find one three days before leaving? What happens if I ignore it? and it packs up later? Maybe when I was in Cyprus? When it comes to choices I usually make the wrong one. The smoke did subside, but you could smell the windings inside ( a sort of barbecue smell, this is something old showmen used to do before buying a dynamo, have a good sniff. It was a sure method to tell if there was anything suspect about it). I would have to worry about this later, one problem at a time so the clutch was first.

I pulled the ride down and then packed all the Cyprus gear back onboard again, game, market stall and luggage. I had to do this, as there was no other way of transporting it away from the fair. At the back of my mind I wondered if I was wasting my time by packing it. At 4am we were ready for the road. The clutch was still slipping on the lorry, but if I could get it moving, it was only two miles back to the yard and there would be no traffic. Slowly the lorry pulled away in first gear. I kept the revs low and just crawled along at snails pace. Out onto the road I didn’t stop for give ways or red lights, I knew if it stopped moving it would probably not pick away again. Lucky it was new years morning and the country was comatosed, there wasn’t a soul about. After about 40 minutes I had completed the two miles. It was 5am, time for bed.

The alarm woke me at 8am, time to start the clutch. With the ride uncoupled from the lorry it moved no problem. I drove it to the shed on a neighboring yard.(previously arranged) and met old Alf. He and his youngest son were going to change the clutch with me. After about two hours we had the old clutch out. The only problem was that we couldn’t find anything obviously wrong with it? We wasted another hour trying to find something wrong with the lorry, why had the clutch been slipping?

( This brings a question to my mind that I hadn’t previously thought of-the first mechanic said it was burnt out- obviously not the case as we were holding it in our hands and it looked brand new! Some people are cowboys! ) It was now 12noon, my father appeared from out of town. He suggested a solution to all my problems, well nearly. He offered me a lend of his artic unit. A mid lift ERF with an L10 Cummins engine and here’s the BONUS it also had a 65KVA generator fitted behind the cab. BRILLIANT, I have transport and power! With this idea now being the plan, we proceeded to put the old clutch back in. The conclusion was that it needed set up properly to stop it slipping. My father suggested that if I could get it to Stirling, he know a mechanic there that would do the job and the lorry would be ready for me in April when I returned from Cyprus. I put the new clutch back into its box and prayed I would get a refund when I took it back. Old Alf and his son give me some ear bashing about how they couldn’t drink on new years night and I had ruined their new year (all in good fun of course), but I thank them even to this day as I was in a spot. But that’s what being a showman is all about- lend a hand when possible because you never know when you might need one in return.

This leaves only one small problem, my fathers generator is 415v a.c three phase, when I need 240v a.c and 110v DC. I can get the 240v from using one phase on his generator, but to get 110v DC, I need a transformer rectifier and it has to handle 300amps to boot.

That problem will have to wait until tomorrow…

Jan 2nd 1999

I was tired from the previous few days activity and didn’t wake up until about 11am. Today was going to be easy. All I had to do was take my lorry and drop it off at Stirling then pick up my fathers and bring it back. I had been on the phone to my brother as he had a transformer rectifier. Exactly what I needed to power my ride, He used it to power his ride too, but he had a spare dynamo fitted to another lorry. It was fitted so he could drop the prop shaft (disconnect the back wheels from the gearbox) and use the lorry engine to drive the dynamo (this was the way all showmen used to get their power before having dedicated generators. The dynamo was usually driven by belts on a pulley drive attached to the out put shaft on a vehicle “s gearbox). He would use this setup while I had his transformer.We arranged to meet the next day to get the transformer out of his vehicle.

I jumped into the Atkinson confident it would make the journey to Stirling. As I drove along the old Edinburgh Rd the clutch began to slip worse. I thought if I could just get onto the motorway it would be fine because there would be no stop-start at lights etc. When I got to the roundabout at the M73 and tried to go up the slip onto the motorway the lorry could not make it. I had no choice , I pulled over onto the hard shoulder. What do I do now I thought? As the lorry was driving on the flat ok, I decided to release the hand brake and roll down the slip road backwards and back onto the roundabout. Then I would drive around it and head back to the yard, about 2miles away. Sounds crazy I know , but that’s exactly what I did and how another vehicle never ran into the back of me is a mystery. I limped the lorry back to the yard again. I stopped the engine and got out. I had to get this to Stirling and I didn’t want the hassle of being towed. There was only one last thing that might work. I crawled under the vehicle to the clutch inspection hole and I wound the clutch adjustment right in, all the way. When I got in the cab the clutch pedal was solid, only about 1-2 inches of movement. I started the lorry up and engaged 1st gear. Crunch grind crunch, we were off, I couldn’t dip the clutch at all, only enough to slip it slightly and when I changed gears I had to catch it on the revs and crash the gear change. Surely this would get me there. Well it did, when I got to the slip the lorry flew up onto the motorway, but stopping was difficult, I had to drive thinking 2miles ahead in case I needed to stop. By the time I reached Stirling the clutch was almost gone again. I left the vehicle for my dad to take around to the mechanic he knew. I got into his lorry and set sail for Glasgow again. By this time it was 4pm and starting to get dark.

Jan 3rd 1999

The next morning I borrowed a trailer to carry the transformer. I then went to pick up my brother and “b”( “b”came to help us for a week back in 1980, nearly 30 years later he’s still here and there’s no sign of him wanting to leave. He’s like one of the family). We got to the lorry where the transformer was. My brother said “the transformers in there.” As I opened the back door the lorry was full from front to back , floor to roof , “all we have to do is lift the dodgem out first”. He wasn’t joking it took us almost 2hrs to clear a path to the transformer. It was fitted low into the chassis of the lorry. It was too heavy to lift so we fastened a chain hoist to the roof of the lorry and raised it up onto a couple of scaffolding tubes to use as rollers. After another hour it was on the trailer. All we had to do now was put all the dodgem back into the lorry. Sigh ….

That evening I phoned a friend who had a hiab lorry. I asked him to come over and lift the transformer onto the ride for me as we were leaving for Sheppey tomorrow. I climbed up over the side of the ride and looked down into it. There was only one gap where the transformer might fit. When the hiab arrived we hoisted the transformer up high and over the trailer. As I guided it down into position on the ride it scraped the sides as it went down. Another couple of mm bigger and it wouldn’t have fitted in and there was no where else to put it, at last a piece of good luck!

Jan 4th 1999

It was 4 am when I climbed into the lorry. I was going down with two other showmen, “d” and his father in law “a”. These two had been in Cyprus three years earlier, so they knew the ropes. They were also up and down the country all the time , they new all the roads no problem, I had only driven to London a couple of times so I didn’t really know any truck stops or local services beyond Carlisle. “d” was taking the “superbob” down and “a” was taking the “twist”, both rides were on artics’. It was a 500mile trip and I wasn’t looking forward to it. Especially because of “c” who went down the week before with two trucks and spent a night on the M25, due to having numerous blowouts on the “dodgem” ride’s trailers’. To make things worse the tyres on the trucks were quite old and an awkward size to get.

We met up at London Rd about 4.20 am and headed for the M74. After 20 minutes I was just settling into the driving seat when I heard “pop” and then the lorry began to slow. The brakes were coming on! I pulled over onto the hard shoulder. When I got around to the trailer I could hear air hissing out. I thought I had burst an airline but thankfully the red line had just uncoupled. I mustn’t have put it on right. Just as I connected it “d” appeared, “what’s a matter?” he asked. “Nothing , the red line just come off” I replied and with that we were off again. I can’t tell you how relieved I was, I couldn’t take any more setbacks, there wasn’t any time left to overcome them. We continued our journey for around 12 hours, stopping every few hours to fuel up the lorries or take a brake. “a” was a little slower than “d” and I so we had to wait for him a couple of times. I’m glad to say it was a rather uneventful trip for all off us. We got to the Dartford crossing just as it was getting dark. I paid the fare and crossed. It was only another couple of hours to go. As for the rest of the trip all I can remember is crossing over a bridge onto the Isle of Sheppy and into the docks. We stayed the night in a BB , but I can’t remember how we got there. The next day we were to load the ship.

Jan 5th 1999

After having breakfast and leaving the BB we went to the docks. At the docks where a couple of port a cabins. One for customs the other for the shipping agents (Baldan). First off we had to show the registration documents for the vehicles. I think this was to prove that they did belong to us. Then we provided all the other information regarding chassis numbers, trailer numbers etc. Most of the rides didn’t have serial numbers so they had numbers chalked on. After that we measured the vehicles for length, breadth and height. They asked us the approximate weight of each. “d” said his was about 38ton, I think this was too much for it, they asked me mine and I said 28ton (a white lie as I had never weighed it until September 2007 when it came in at 29.5ton). We later found out that this had nothing to do with the loading of the boat but was how the dock charges were calculated. To be honest I had guessed this and originally thought my ride was about 32tons. In the end it didn’t make any difference to me, but Mr “A” saved a few quid. The shipping agent went around and gave all the vehicles an adhesive sticker with reference numbers on it. This was stuck on a prominent place on the trailer and on the lorry windscreen. After about 2hrs we were cleared to move into another part of the docks. As we went down to the birth where the ship was I could see a hive of activity. There were forklifts and vehicle moving all over the place. The ship wasn’t as big as I had expected. I was glad to see it was RO-RO (roll on roll off), as I didn’t fancy my ride being lifted by crane onto the deck. I have seen pictures of rides suspended before and all their owners said the same thing-it made them physically sick to watch the ride hanging by a thread. The first items loaded onto the ship were agricultural gear. Large combine harvesters and other farm equipment. Then they started to load us.

The ship was tethered to the dock, but it must have been high tide because the slope up the loading ramp was very steep. To make thing worse the boat was at right angles to the dock and we had to drive down an incline to the loading area then up the loading ramp and into the ship, oh did I mention we could only make the 90deg turn in reverse by jack knifing the artics? The owner of the vehicle to board would drive while everyone else guided him into position. First on was an English man “L”, he had a Foden lorry and it was towing a small action ride. Because the lorry was short it could drive on, but because the action ride was so low to the road we had to jack it over the loading ramp to get it aboard. Next on was the twist it was reversed down to the loading bay and then up the ship ramp at a 45 deg angle into the hold. The lorry was a double drive Foden unit and the axles were creaking with the strain. Next on was to be me. I reversed the lorry down and onto the ramp. Because I was driving I couldn’t see what was happening at the rear. The rear diesel racks were catching the ramp for some reason (I would find out in Cyprus why). The lorry my father had loaned me was a mid lift. To stop the lorry skidding on the ramp I had to raise the middle axle to put all the weight on the drive axle. After several attempts and blocking the trailer up we got it aboard. When we went to put it were it was to go ,it would not fit. The ride was too high (14ft7in at the front) and the sides were catching the overhead ship pipes. I thought I was going to have to take it off again, but we persuaded the crew to let us pull it forward and park it to one side while they loaded the dodgems trailers in its place. They were lower in construction, but both trailers had tail lifts on them and the runners went a foot past the roof. These proved to be too high and eventually “c” had no choice but to cut them off with a hacksaw .He would weld them on again when in Cyprus. When they got to me again, the crew wanted my ride literally touching the side of the ship. On the floor were bays painted out in yellow lines 2.5m wide. Each vehicle had to be within the lines. Only problem was my ride was 2.8m wide. The only way was to touch the side bulkhead of the ship. The box section floor on that side of the ride is still crushed to this day. It took about thirty shunts to move the ride and lorry over. Doing numerous shunts back and forward and not trying to go onto the steep loading ramp. After the ride was set ,the crew( all Malaysian) started to chain it down to the deck. I went under with them and pointed out were I wanted the chains put so as not to damage the hydraulic pipes and other critical items. Next on was the superbob. I guided “d” onto the ship, by now we were getting quite good at reversing around the corner and the ride went aboard easily. It also helped that this ride has hydraulic rams at the rear that we used to lift the trailer up to clear the ramp. Before leaving we disconnected the batteries from the vehicles so they wouldn’t run down during the two-week voyage. This also reduced the risk of fire. It felt strange leaving the rides behind in the ship. The ship was to sail to Europe and pick up other rides.

It was about 4pm when we left the docks. A friend of “d” lived near Stanstead. He came in his Rolls Royce and picked us up from the docks. He took us to his house where we had our tea. Then he took us to Stanstead airport and we flew home to Glasgow.

Jan 2?th 1999

I don’t remember the exact date we flew out, I remember that my mother and father came to see us off. There was about 14 of us flying out that night. The flight was to Athens with a couple of hours stopover and onto another flight into Larnaca (this was the cheapest flight we could get). It was after 7pm when we left Glasgow. I was looking forward to being in Athens, I don’t know why, but I had this silly thought of seeing the city before we flew out! When we arrived at Athens it was late. The part of the airport we were in was just like a large tin shed. All the shops and facilities were closed. We couldn’t leave this area to go to other facilities in the airport. We all scavenged around and had enough between us all to make a couple of sandwiches. We were almost the only people in the place. We got the kids settled down to sleep by making beds on the seats and floor. It would be 7am before the restaurants would open, only 5 hours to go. What a hard way to get to Cyprus.

The next flight was fine. The weather was clear and I had a window seat. I could sea the Med down below and the Greek islands. It wasn’t long before we landed in Larnaca airport. This airport was sparse to say the least. When we arrived we had to go through emigration. That’s when we noticed the big signs everywhere. They said that all currency that we were bringing into the country over £1000 had to be declared. Why? Well you are not allowed to take money out of Cyprus. To confirm that any money you want to leave with is yours, it must be declared on entering and you get a receipt so that you can take upto that amount out with you. I had a lot more than a £1000 on me. It was emergency money to get us home and to keep us until we got operating and earning money. I decided to take no chances and declare it. I had to complete a registration form to say where I was staying, how long, contact nos. etc etc.

Out of the airport the weather was fine and sunny, better than back home for this time of year. Being here seemed like a great idea already. Mr “A” and some others had flewn in a few days before us. His Cypriot partner called “George” (not his real name, but an alias for ease dealing with foreigners, his real name was Greek) had arranged hotel apartments for us to stay in. It was off season and the hotel was usually closed at this time. There was no staff on just the manager who was also the bell boy who was also the barman(you get the idea), It was cheap though £4 per night.

The pool was empty of water though and we were worried about the kids falling into it and hurting themselves so we asked for it to be filled. A couple of days later it was, now we worried about them falling in and drowning! We were in a ground floor apartment and my mother in law was on the first floor. The first couple of days the water kept going off. The women all complained and after that there was a water tanker permanently attachéd to the hotel! We met the European Showmen for the first time, an Austrian (Eric and his wife), Dutch (Hank and a younger lad and an older man called Yhan . An Irishman who was in partners with Hank . We had no transport, but it wasn’t a problem as the fairground site was literally right across the road. It was on the shoreline almost on the beach. (Larnaca doesn’t have sand on its beaches, it’s volcanic ash).

The next day we were to offload the ship. The docks were in Limassol.

Jan 2??th 1999

Mr “A” , “c” ,”d” had hired cars from George (one of his numerous business) .They were £6 per day to hire and were death traps to say the least. How? Well we noticed that some of the cars were one colour at the front and a shade different at the back. This was because you couldn’t import a car over a certain age into Cyprus, but you could import scrap cars for spares. So the Cypriots would buy cheap cars from Japan, cut them in half, import them as spare parts and then weld them together again! We all piled into the three cars and drove to the docks in Limassol. We offloaded the ship. Unfortunately my ride had sustained slight damage when the other rides were loading in Europe. Eric’s ride was very heavy around 50tons. When they were loading it the tractor unit of his started to skid on the deck plates. This caused it to “fish tail” and it hit the side of my ride. The damage was minor, a bent iron and a gash in aluminum tread plate sheet. We got the rides off the ship and moved them to a storage pen in the docks. We thought we would be leaving in a matter of minutes, not the case. Customs were coming to inspect the equipment. Nothing for it but back to the Hotel. We didn’t have a lot of clothes with us because everything was still packed in the ride to save bringing it with us on the airplane.

This daily event went on for almost a week. They have a saying in Cyprus, one that I use now-“if not today, maybe tomorrow”. With all this waiting about I had a good look around the docks , they were massive. I have never seen so many new cars. Thousands of them, all parked out in the open, awaiting delivery to their new owners. The ships that carried them were massive too and made our ship look like a tug.

Eventually customs did arrive. They wanted a temporary import bond on the value of the equipment. This would be returned when all the equipment left Cyprus. We hastily produced a valuation sheet for all the rides, at a much reduced amount since the bond was calculated as a percentage of the value. We also had to state that all the equipment belonged to Mr “A”. These matters did raise concerns for the individual. What if someone wanted to leave before the other rides? What about any insurance claims on the equipment after we devalued it for customs? And finally we had stated that Mr “A” owned our rides! There was no other choice, it was the only way to negotiate with customs and get the rides out. Mr “A” used all his cash and max’ed out his gold card, George had allegedly put up his house! We thought that was that, but no, they wanted import duty for all the cuddly toys we were bringing in as prizes for the games too. There was no more money left, but then a stroke of luck, Mr “A” told the customs officer that they were “presents” for the children of the local Cypriots attending the fair. “Oh!, presents for our children”he said, all of a sudden we were nice people and the rides were cleared to go. We were meant to leave one at a time and have our vehicle registration checked off a list as we left the docks. I had a problem, due to the change of lorries. The manifest had the broken down lorries registration and not the borrowed lorries reg. Mr “A” came to the cab and handed me a cover note for motor insurance. As soon as I got it I began to move, I got in line behind the others. When I got to the gates I didn’t slow down, I just kept on driving not giving the guard time to check for the registration or stop me. When I was out of sight of the docks I stopped for a check around before driving the 56 miles to Larnaca. When I got into the vehicle I noticed that the air was down. I had to rev the engine hard to get the pressure up again. I drove off to complete my journey to Larnaca. I stopped at a set of lights on a cross roads. When I tried to pick away I got half way across and lost the clutch. The lights changed again and I had blocked all roads. The air was down again. The lorry had an air assisted clutch and without pressure I wouldn’t be able to move. I rev’ed the lorry hard again for a few minutes to get pressure up. By this time the lights had changed again , traffic was building up and the car horns started honking. I got across the lights and pulled in again. I went under the truck to find the air leak. It was the air suspension on the truck! One air pipe had a small hole in it. When I had loaded the boat and mounted the ramp at a 45deg angle, all the weight of the truck was on this airbag , maybe it burst then and that’s why the diesel racks were catching the ramp. Either way I had to rev the lorry constantly to keep enough pressure to work the clutch and release the brakes. I drove the lorry hard all the way, driving in a lower gear to keep the engine revs up.

End Jan 1999

As Cyprus is an ex colony, they drive on the left same as us, I was relieved. The Europeans all had Left hand drive vehicles. The local lorries were all very old, Leyland’s, BMC’s the younger ones were Hino’s. There were only three Scania’s on the island and two of them belonged to Eric! At the side of the roads, in fields, anywhere that a vehicle broke down it stayed there, for decades! I seen Leyland Octopus lorries on the side of the roads and they stopped getting produced in the 60’s. After about an hour I arrived at the funfair site in Larnaca. The ground condition was like clay with a lot of lime in it. We were told it would rot our shoes! I pulled the vehicle onto the site and parked it along the rear of the area. Mr “A” would set the locations tomorrow. As I walked across the ground the clay began to stick to my boots, it was very difficult to walk. Every few paces I had to scrape the clay from my boots as it was weighing me down and making me slip, After reaching the roadside I cleaned my boots again, it felt like I had walked for miles! What would this ground be like in the rain?

We had been closed for a week now and eating from the local store was too expensive. My wife and I hitched a lift with “d” and his wife to the town centre. We all went into Woolworth’s. It’s not like woolys in the UK. No it’s more like M&S. It had a wide selection of clothing and downstairs was a large food section. This is were we shopped for food our entire stay in Lanarca.

When the fair was set out by Mr “A”, I started to erect the ride. I had to level the chassis and get the floors folded out first. Before I could continue I had to remove the extra cargo aboard (luggage, market joint, hoopla). We were glad to see the luggage as we had been living out of one case between the four of us whilst trying to get the rides out of the docks. Since I had to lift the hoopla off the ride, I decided to erect it at the same time. Just aswell as I didn’t want to lay it on the sticky clay ground. After a few trips up and down, the tread plate floor of the ride looked dirty and there was no water onsite to wash it . That night the ride was fully set up and the Hoopla only needed a table to be made from plywood before being ready to be tried out. The next day I rewired the ride into the transformer and tried the new system. It worked perfectly! What a relief. “d” needed plywood and so did I, we went with his hire car to a builders yard to get some. They were 8′ x 4′ sheets 1/2inch thick. We bought six sheets, but how were we going to get it back to the fair? Simple we put the sheets onto the roof of the car and then rolled down the windows. I put one hand out and onto the roof to hold the sheets at my side, ”d” who was driving done the same at his side. With our free hands I changed gear and “d” steered the car. After 10 mins we were back at the fairground. It was funny, we didn’t seem to worry about being pulled up by the police, I mean we would never have done that at home! After making the table I went to try the bin game. I wired all the bins to the battery charger and switched it on. As the bins opened and closed they moved about slightly. It was the first time that I had seen them all working at once. All of a sudden there was sparks flying about. Some of the bins had moved together and touched, because they were metal and the bin was earthed to make the 12v motor work they shorted out. I immediately switched the charger off. I realised that I had to make sure the polarity was the same on all the bins. After a few trial attempts I got them all going and there was no shorts, but to stop them moving I had to put stones in the bottoms to weigh them down. I still had no game for the market stall so I laid it under the ride. We were meant to open on Wednesday night ,but due to the other rides having a slow build up it was put of until Thursday. Two Cypriot cars came with families in. They weren’t happy that we were not open as they had come from paphos( the other end of the island) Mr “A” gave them £10 each for petrol and promised them free rides when they returned. The fair was going to operate on tokens, but Mr “A” didn’t have any. He tried to get them made on the island but no one could do it, then he had a brain wave. There was a place on the island that made cocktail mixing sticks for all the bars and hotels. These sticks had the bars logo or name on a disc shaped end. Mr “A” ordered 10,000 mixing sticks with Cyprus’s theme park on the disc. That night we all sat in Mr “A”s room and broke the discs off the sticks.

Mid Jan 1999

Thursday night and we opened. Business was very quite, but we were glad just to get started and maybe get a few quid in the bag, even if it was just enough for breakfast. “d” came to me and asked why I didn’t have the market stall open. When I told him I didn’t have a game he offered me a lend of his “pop it on’s”( small wooden ring over the wooden peg. Looks easy, but very difficult). I wasn’t that bothered, but he insisted, he said “its another tool, if it only gets the room money!”. He was absolutely a 110% correct. The next day I borrowed his rings and put them into the market stall. As it was a last minute thing there was just enough room to squeeze them in between the superbob and my ride. We didn’t have any prizes for them so we put Cypriot £5 and £10 notes on the pegs. Two rows of six pegs.The £5 on the front and the £10 at the back. Friday night and we opened at 6pm. It was cloudy and threatening rain. Business was just picking up and we were getting a living. As for the “pop it on’s”, the Cypriot took to it like fish to water and when we seen how difficult it was for ourselves we put some £20 notes on! They were quite timid people and would rather go on the lower rides than the high ones. They all asked the same question-“is it dangerous?”. I wonder if danger is what they meant or if they were asking is it scary or thrilling. At about 9pm the heavens opened and emptied the fair. Cypriots are totally averse to getting wet-it must be due to all the sunshine they are used to getting. The rain was so heavy it was bouncing 2feet off the ground. Then I had a brainwave- I got the bucket and sponge and put soap in it. Then I started to wash the rides backflash. I soaped it all up and the rain rinsed it off. Then I started on the treadplate floor to move the mud from the clay. All the others thought I was crazy, but it only took half an hour to wash the whole ride and it was the only way because we had no water on the site. That was the end of business that night. The ground went so boggy with the mud that Mr “A” had tipper loads of white chippy stones delivered the next morning. It took us all day to spread them around the stalls. What a difference it made to the appearance of all the attractions and you could walk easily. The next week the local Cypriot building control inspector arrived to test all the trip switches on the rides. He didn’t have a digital meter or any equipment. He used a 13amp plug and a 60w bulb & holder. He plugged in the light with the live connected to the bulb then he touched the loose neutral to the frame of what he was testing. If the light illuminated your trip was faulty, if the trip went off, everything was ok!. We thought the trip was faulty on the dodgems and for an hour we checked all the wiring. Then the Cypriot used a 500w halogen instead of a 60w bulb and the trip worked! It was a 300ma trip and not a 30ma that’s why it wouldn’t go off for the 60w bulb; it wasn’t a big enough leakage.

Business was not too good. To try and improve it Mr “A” got the local TV down to make an advert. So we all rode the rides one after another to make it look busy while they filmed. When we saw it on TV it was funny. I wonder if the Cypriots wondered why it was all pale faced foreigners that were on the rides and the same faces every time! After a couple of days open a chap from the British base at Dhekelia came to the fair. He asked if he could hire some equipment for the base open day in April. He was offered the dodgem and t-cup ride by Mr “A”. Some of the others felt they were missing out a bit, due to not being considered, but it was too far off to worry about .

My wife and “d”s wife decided that our kids needed to get some schooling. So they went to the British Army base a Dhekelia. There they met a teacher who ran the small school for the soldiers families. They were sympathetic, but couldn’t enrol our children, but a teacher could give private lessons from home. That’s what we did , my son and “d”s two sons went to private lessons for one hour 2-3 days a week at a cost of £10 each. They all came on leaps and bounds.

There is a city in Cyprus called Famagusta. It is deserted now in no mans land between the Turkish occupied side of Cyprus and the Greek Cypriot side. The island is divided into two and there is a wall through the capital Nicosia. The Turks invaded the island in the 70s onto Famagusta beaches and people fled their homes. Families were separated and people where never seen again. Some Cypriots near the city have opened tourist spots with long range telescopes to view the city. I could see a white UN peace keepers patrol car when we looked through the scope. Rumour has it that shops , banks and homes are the way they were when the people left with all the contents still inside!!!.

A local business man came from Ayia Napa came to visit the fair. He had a bungee tower and a big wheel at a small park in Ayai Napa. I think he came to check out the opposition. Anyway he told us he got the equipment from two Russian partners(Cyprus rely “s heavily on Russian imports-steel , vehicles, prostitutes , tourists, electrics etc) when it was time to pay , he set them up. He arranged to meet them in a club. Then he hired a couple of heavies to pick a fight with them. This led to them being deported without payment of course. Then he asked us if we wanted to supply some equipment! Needless to say there was no interest. I don”t know if this local business man had anything to do with it,but a couple of days later Mr “A” came and told us we all had to register for work permits.(Only heads of families) so all the men went to a Doctors surgery in the town of Lanarca for a chest x-ray and aids test at a cost of £100 CY each. Then to a government building to register and pay £300 CY deposit against me getting into trouble and being deported! I got a small green booklet in return. The next day Mr “A” came and said that all the money we declared coming into the country had to be lodged into a bank account. Apparently you have two weeks grace on the cash then it has to be banked. The only person with a bank account in Cyprus was Mr “A”. So off my father in law went with him to deposit my cash, along with everyone else’s. My father in law told Mr “A” in no unclear words that if this money went astray there would be consequences! After that when I did my split with the tokens, I worked it off against what I had deposited. Only thing was at this rate of earnings it was going to take a while.

The bin game looked good, but the bins couldn’t take the mechanical strain of the open close motion and began to break up. We needed a fast, cheap alternative game. We found one in our apartment-we had white pyrex dishes. We placed these on a cup and tried the disc on a plate game. We used ride tokens from our ride as a test and they seemed to bounce just right. Not too much to make it impossible, but not too little to make it easy. The next day I got some assorted plant pots and set the plates on them. That night they opened and the game seemed to be ok. We couldn’t give too many prizes away as we had to travel to Limassol to the only cash n carry who stocked soft toys for more. The prizes were of a good size and cheaper than the UK. This was probably due to them being copyright rip offs from Taiwan and having no CE quality mark. However they were well made and looked very good. The Cypriots never had any complaints about them and the toys ranged from three inches to three feet tall!

Eventually our stint at Larnaca was at an end. We pulled down the rides on Sunday night. At about 1am I finished and switched off the generator. As I walked across the road I could here loud laughing. Down at the local tavern all our women were sitting at tables on the pavement drinking. My wife had started on the local Keo Rum. My daughter was asleep in her pushchair, so I took her with me back to the room. I don’t know what time my wife came in, but the Keo Rum had really knocked her for six. The next day she couldn’t get her head off the pillow and was in a bad way. I thought I was going to have to pack the cases myself , but luckily Mr “A” said we weren’t moving to Limassol that day, it would be the next. I don’t know who was more relieved -my wife or myself.

Limassol Feb. 1999

We were to open the fair in the old (closed down) football pitch on the sea front. The pitch was the oldest in Cyprus and was surrounded by a 12-foot high wall. The front gates were to small to bring the loads in through. Only big enough for a small car at best. Anyhow these gates had not been opened for many many years and they were boarded up at the front. We would have to open them, but that would be another days problem. The pitch was of a white blaze. Strangely there was an old grave not far from the end of my ride, against the wall. The head stone was to far detereorated to make out any dates of titles. The hotel (something Beach) we were staying in was directly next to the football ground and the hotel bar looked directly into the ground. We had a room on the next floor up right above the pool table room. Every night I could here the balls go down as loud as if my head was inside the pooltable. It must have been something to do with the re-bar in the concrete and the pooltable sitting on a marble floor. This was more like a hotel, it also had other guests as well as us. Since the season was moving on and the location was more tourist like, the rooms were more expensive. I arrived at Limassol about 4pm, since we couldn’t get into the football ground until tomorrow I parked on a quiet road opposite a building site. I got into the car we had hired from George and drove to the hotel. It was hectic getting booked in as we all arrived about the same time. When we got the car emptied of the luggage, I went back to the ride and got more cases that we had packed in there, as they wouldn’t all fit in the car.

The next day we all went down to the pitch to set the fair. Only one problem-there was no gate for the rides to enter the pitch ,it was a solid wall 12 feet high right around! Mr “A” said don’t worry I’ve sent for a JCB, we’ll make a gate at the rear. Now bear this in mind-this is the oldest football stadium on the island, it’s a sort of landmark, probably a listed building.

That evening just before dark a JCB did arrive at the rear of the stadium and DID knock a 20 ft gap in the wall for a gate! That’s how we got the rides onto the pitch. To secure the hole at night we parked “L”s lorry across it.

All the attractions here were; medusa dark show-German, trampolines-Irish, rolla ball game & lucky numbers- Dutch, typhoon ride-Austrian, dart game & juvenile & action ride – English, superbob, twist, dodgem, tempest, soccer game, t-cups, snack bar x 2, pop it ons, balloon slide, 5 round stalls- Scottish. We set the rides up over the next couple of days. One day I heard a bit of a commotion at the rear of the ground. I went to see what it was. There was a Cypriot man yelling irately at Mr “A” and George. I don’t speak Greek, but I knew exactly what he was saying when he was yelling and pointing to the hole in the wall. Eventually they got him calmed down. Later that night Mr “A” told us that he had permission from the club chairman to open the wall and that chap was the club secretary and hadn’t been informed. He said it was all resolved and “A, ok”. I don’t know the truth of the matter, but we did stay for another three weeks open. Around the pitch were spotlight towers. At the top each had a single floodlight. They were all facing the wrong way to light up the fair so M “A” asked everyone to climb up the tower nearest to them and adjust it accordingly. This seemed easy enough as there was a ladder on each tower, all you had to do was climb onto the 12ft wall with your own ladder and then onto the tower ladder. This I did no problem , but by the time I got halfway up the tower (25ft) it had started to sway with my weight. The steel was red rusty and I had visions of it folding up at any moment. I did get the light adjusted, but that was the only one, I was too scared to do any others.

Limassol Feb 1999 opening

We opened on a mid week day, the weather was better, but this made the dust fly more easily from the pitch. I didn’t notice it before but the old front entrance was not square to the pitch, this slight angle made the public walk one way around the fair. This meant that all my equipment was last in line. After the first weekend I asked the Irishman to move the front of the trampolines to the opposite side to be in front of me. This was to make the parents stand there and look like something was happening at my end of the fair.This he did for me and it did seem to help.

All the time in Cyprus I never seen anyone blind drunk or abusive, all the people were well dressed in either trousers , cords or dark jeans with leather shoes, boots or sandals. The women were stunningly beautiful with their olive skins and slim figures, some of them wore evening dresses to the fair. For four months I never seen a football top, tracksuit, shell suit, Burberry cap, pair of training shoes, bottle of buckfast being drank by a gang of youths or seen an obese person. I said to my wife “this is the land of the beautiful people.” The nearest we had to a problem was one night some kids had been put out the fair by the security ( Georges son in laws business) and they threw halved limes over the wall onto our ride. I’ve been stoned before but that’s the only time I’ve been Limed!

The next Tuesday night when we were open I spotted smoke from the middle of the ride. The 110v DC motor was burning out! I switched it off immediately. I think the power from the transformer was too good for it. Well I didn’t have to repair my generator at home, as I would change to three phase now. The next day I looked all around Limassol for an electrical contractor and found one up a side street. In broken English we established that I needed a 25-30 kw 1500 rpm 415v motor. He offered me a new Russian one for £330 cy or a second hand English Electric that he had laying in his garden wrapped in a tarp for £250cy. I went for the English electric, not for the price, but because I thought it would be built to a standard better than the Russian. The electrician promised to fit new ballraces and provide a new custom-built control box starter with the motor all for £700 CY. That was a lot cheaper than the same kit in the UK. Only problem was it would take three days to complete. The Cypriot was very friendly, taking me into his house to meet his family and give me coffee(it was real coffee like tar and you had to drink water with it, yuckkkk). For the next few days I only had the “popit ons” open and the disc on a plate game. When the electrician came he only delivered the motor with a vague diagram. He wanted another £100 CY to install it, so I decided to do it myself. Eric came over at that point and started to help me. He was well versed with knowledge of wiring 3ph motors and had all the electrician type tools. In under a couple of hours it was all installed and working. It was lucky that I choose the English motor as this meant the drive coupling to the two hydraulic pumps fitted perfectly. I started the ride and timed the cycle. The ride was revolving too fast as the old motor was only 1200 rpm. I decided to reverse the two hydraulic pumps as I knew one was 25% more volume than the other. When I retimed the ride it was bang on speed, all I had done was increased the lift rate of the ride by 10 seconds. This was fine because I felt it was always too slow anyway- DOUBLE BONUS-thing were looking up. That system is still working fine today, but the alleged new ballraces failed 18 months later when I was back in the UK.

It was nearing the end of our time in Limassol, business was just good enough to justify us being in Cyprus. The other rides were doing much better trade than I was. At least the ‘pop it on’ game was doing better than the disc on the plate game for us. “d” had done me a big favour lending me the game. Its best days earnings was here, on a day when we had our first winner for three weeks (only 1 winner at Larnaca). A young lad won, when in a fit of frustration he threw the ring and it hit the back of the stall, re-bounded straight onto a ring and won him £10. There was a small crowd watching when he did this and instantly they all wanted a go and all tried the same trick. I thought I was going to lose all the prize money, but no one else won that day. Don’t get me wrong- I like it when someone wins, it stops the “it a con!” comments and is good for custom.

It was our last week in Limassol (so I thought) and we spent a few days in Nicosia looking for our next hotel, but there was only one and it was very expensive (£50) night. This was the hotel everyone had stayed in 3 years before on the first trip to Cyprus. Then it was being redecorated on one wing. This wing was closed to the tourists, but the showmen struck a deal with the hotel manager to let the rooms on one side of the wing at a reduced rate. No such luck this time. We thought we would all split up and rent private apartments around the city. This was concerning on a security issue as we had to leave everything in these apartments while we were out. Some of these were in less than appealing conditon or areas of the city. We were having good nights in the hotel in Limassol and eventually decided to stay here and commute (56miles) to Strovolos near Nicosia every day for a month to the fair.

The weekend that we pulled down in Limassol the Irishman had been asking if anyone could build him a stall. As I was handy with the power tools, he was pointed in my direction. He wanted a basket ball game stall constructed of box iron so it was easy and quick to erect. Much along the lines of a market stall, just on a bigger scale. Luckily I had brought my chopsaw and welder with me, I was short of cash so asked him to provide all the materials and I would do the work for £200cy. I started the day after we pulled the rides down and were waiting to go to Nicosia.

Nicosia March 1999

As business wasn’t as good as many had wanted, a couple of the Dutch games were leaving to return to Europe for the summer and do their fairs there. This was going to leave a couple of holes in the fair, so the Irishman (in partnership) with Hank asked me to build a basketball game. Hank had been minding the lucky numbers game (make 21 with lucky dip numbers) this had been taking fortunes compared to the rest of us. Since the games returning to Holland would need their transport this left Hank and the Irishman with no way to transport the trampolines to Strovolos in Nicosia. They went around looking for a private lorry driver to do it for them. The day we left for Nicosia I was driving along the motorway and passed a TIPPER lorry full of TRAMPOLINES!!!. It looked like a load of scrap! When it arrived at the fair site they unloaded it- no sorry, they didn’t unload it- you guessed it THEY TIPPED IT OUT like you would a load of sand! I though to myself it must be scrap now. I had visions of all the irons being bent and twisted.

We were next to a crossroads in an industrial area outside Nicosia. The place was called Strovolos and we were told it was full of refugees from Farmagusta and Russia.

There was a small house behind the fairground and a crop field across the road. Mr “A” decided to let Eric build up the typhoon first as it took him two full days to do so. We would get set tomorrow. That evening the Cypriot who lived in the house returned home to see the fair positioned behind his garden. That was that-he complained to the local mayor to have us moved away. Mr “A” and George tried to reach an agreement with him, but to no avail. It seems the world is the same all over- “everybody loves the funfair, but not next to my house!” Now we had nowhere to go. For the next three days Mr “A” and George looked for an alternative site. They ended up with the crop field across the road from the original site. To get it Mr “A” had bought the crop, paid the farmer to clear the field of it and then had to buy the roots because our heavy vehicles would damage them. The field looked very soft and soily. The dust was unbelievable. The lorries were sinking into the soft soil and on top of that we were warned to watch out for poisonous snakes! Poor Eric had to pull the typhoon ride down again and move it across the road, the Irishman and Hank had to carry the trampolines one piece at a time across the busy road into the field.

At nights we were leaving the fair unattended, so the security were put on 24hrs now to stop any thieving. Since it was 56 miles everyday to commute, the first night open my mother in law stayed in the room with our daughter “w” at Limassol. That night we opened and at 8pm the fair was mobbed and we were short staffed.

We were finally earning good money. Just before 10pm Mr “A” came around and said we would have to close as the crowds were fighting at the gate of the fair! Apparently there had been a football game on (Farmagusta v Nicosia, this is were the crowds had came from) and the rival fans were fighting among themselves. We went to the gate to see the situation. There were several hundred people standing watching about fifty fighting each other. Just at that a police car pulled up with its sirens blowing. A lone policeman got out the car. We all thought to ourselves- if he tries to stop this he’ll get killed. At that he pulled out his gun and fired two shots in the air. The crowd immediately dispersed and so did all our customers. The policeman got back in his car and drove away. The whole fair was closed within five minutes.

Nicosia March 1999

I had been running back and forward to Strovolos twice daily while making the basketball game. The hire car couldn’t take it and eventually the engine seized up. Luckily my father in law had decided a few days earlier that the car wasn’t safe enough for us to do the commuting to the fair in anyway and had hired a Pajero Jeep from Hertz. He said it was for his grand daughters safety. So we used that until George got me another car. I just did what all Cypriots did and left the seized one on the side of the road where it had stopped, George sent someone out to recover it. We had gotten so used to petrol cars that one day my father in law went to fuel the jeep and put petrol in that too. After about 1 mile it stopped then he remembered it was diesel. He found a small garage and had to get the tank drained. He got well ridiculed for that. And it cost him the repair fee.

For the next couple of weeks we had good business at this Strovolos and a couple of nights had been busy like the first night. One time the crowds were so deep at the pop it ons game that my father in law sat on the seat and refused to serve anyone because they were getting too rowdy. We decided to put my mother in law in to watch the game instead. That turned out worse! She clipped a cheeky lad under the chin and he fell back on his rear. Luckily all his pals laughed at him, he was so embarrassed that he got up and left. She got no more cheek after that! The security on the fair were not really that good. “a” on the twist lost a music speaker one night. The security told him he only had three to start with! What was even funnier was you could see the dust print from the missing speaker on the floor. Somehow later the next day it was returned. M “A” was getting worried about the refugees stealing money from his tokens boxes. He placed a spotlight on top of each box, wired to a switch so the cashier could flash the light for attention if there was a problem. M “A” informed the security of the new procedure. He decided to test it. Watch this he said, when I flash this light they will all come running. He flashed the light for over a minute. We could see the security, but not one came. M “A” stormed off in a fit, we all fell about laughing.

I had finished the manufacturing of the basketball game. All I had to do was get paid. The next couple of days were spent making the regulation hoops a bit smaller, so that the Irishman could put bigger prizes on. He was a character and for some reason the local youths gave him a hard time. They would go on the trampolines and jump from bed to bed and not come off when their time was up. The Irishman would go on and chase them to try and get them off, then, when he was exhausted he would go and get the security. One day when he arrived to open, the kids had undone all the springs. The first customer fell through the canvas. Funny now, but not at the time. So much for the 24hr security. “L”s wife also had problems at the dart game. After a week of torture from the youths she stabbed one in the hand with the darts while he was trying to steal the prizes from the game stall! Eventually “L” put chicken wire around the prizes to protect them. This made the stall look like Stalag 13, but it stopped the thieving. When it came to the end of the three weeks, Mr “A” added on another week onto Strovolos. We did get some money but the commuting was becoming too much (over 4000 miles in a month), good job the fuel in Cyprus was so cheap. One day “L” got pulled up in his Land Rover. When the police checked his number plates they were not registered to him . “L” had always wanted a private registration, so he had one made up and just put it on his vehicle! He got a slap on the wrist and had to change back to his proper plates, but he didn’t mind, he had gotten away with it for three months. At this time the war in Yugoslavia was at its height. There was a strong objection here to the Allies bombings and the protestors were out on the streets in force. For the first time I felt threatened, we removed all the European & American flags around the fair and from then on we only flew the Greek & Cypriot flags. This was originally to be the end of our tour, but Mr “A” pulled a new venue out of the hat.

End of Strovolos March 1999

The last week of Strovolos was spent getting ready to pack up and shift. The twist ride owned by “a” was going home. “a” sourced some empty 200 litre barrels and stored them on his ride and filled them with fuel for getting home.( fuel in Cyprus was only 25c a litre). We all thought this was a great idea and before long we all had barrels packed into the rides. The last day of the fair “c” decided to take the roof cover off the dodgems to quicken the pull down time. What a blunder, sunny Cyprus rained that afternoon and the dodgem cars would not go around the track, they just skidded on the floor. Eventually someone remembered an old trick to restore their traction. He got a few fluorescent tubes and broke them on the wet track. Then he ground the glass to shards and spread it around. I don’t know exactly why this works but it does and after a few minutes the cars were driving around again no problem.

That night when we pulled down everyone left the site and drove all the equipment to Limassol. It was about 2am when I got to the hotel. We all parked along the verge. When I got up in the morning and looked out I was mortified to see all our vehicles parked along the sea front. It completely blocked the sea view from the hotel. The management didn’t seem to mind though, probably because we had been guests there for two months and had drank and ate in the bar nearly every night. Later that day some went to the docks to sail for home and we moved a few others onto some waste ground beside the old football pitch. A couple of workmen had started to rebuild the wall we had knocked down the month before to make the gate. (new concrete breeze block, you could easily spot the difference).

We had a couple of days before we were moving to the next fair so we all arranged a bus trip up to mount Olympus (10,000 ft) and had a day skiing. That was probably the best