My first instinct was to shout “No way!”  Instead I tried to steer away from the “speaking forgiveness” by asking how they would react if someone came up and told them they were forgiven.  Yeah, feels condescending.  So, what is it about and how do we know we are forgiving?  The nasty thoughts still come.  Am I forgiving?  Well, it is a commitment and a process.  With time and grace the nasty thoughts and stomach knots go away. 

      The most important step is wanting to forgive.  Ther next step is to try to replace the nasty thoughts that come with positive ones, thinking about some of the good points of the person you want to forgive.  Even praying to see the good points.  The step that shows you are really working at it is to respect the person when you are in that person’s presence.  Respect is shown in many ways, from talking nicely instead of pouting, or perhaps doing something helpful.  Each of us will lfind ways in the situation we find ourselves.

     Suddenly, without thinking about it, those nasty feelings don’t seem to come, or at least not as often and the painful knot stops crumpling our stomach.  That’s when we know forgiveness is happening.

Giving your mind and heart a fresh start.

You do not need to be forgiven by anyone else, only yourself, and even that is truly unnecessary once you accept yourself completely. You will know when you have mastered the art of self-forgiveness. When you are no longer judgmental toward others, you will have forgiven yourself and be on your path of enlightenment.
Releasing judgment of another is actually releasing judgment of yourself. Your need to put others into categories defines you, not them. When you stop doing this, you have forgiven yourself for whatever aspect of yourself you see in them. The more at ease you are with the behavior of others, even if you would not act that way yourself, the more you are at ease with yourself.

Say to yourself, “I’m allowed.” Not because I tell you you are, or because your parents are no longer in charge of you, or because some authority figure granted you permission, but simply because you are lovingly there for yourself. No guilt, no anger, no self-flagellation over things that you consider mistakes. A simple understanding that you do not fail in life, you only produce results, and you have the right to learn and grow from any results that you produce. The word “failure” is itself a judgment, and if you label yourself a failure in any context, you are judging rather than accepting yourself. Self-acceptance will turn into self-love, and when you are filled with self-love, that is what you will have to give away.

Consequently, the willingness to forgive yourself is the necessary step to being in harmony with all of the universal principles. It gives you permission to be whatever you choose. And it gives you the right to self-determination. Everything that you have done is over, regardless of your opinion about it. It simply is. Try to simply be. The past is over, and everything you did got you to the point that you are at right at this moment. Everything had to happen exactly as it did, without any exceptions in order for you to be here, reading these words in the exact location in which you find yourself right now. You needed to do it all, and all you have to do, to really learn this lesson of forgiveness, is to allow that thought in and lovingly forgive yourself. Receive the lesson from it and be in harmony with yourself and everyone that you encounter. The more peaceful you are with that idea, and the more willing you are to be gentle with yourself, the more you will find forgiveness your way of life. Which means the more you will find acceptance, which is the absence of the need to forgive, as your way of life.

A lot of the time we find it easier to forgive others, than to forgive ourselves. We let other people’s mistakes slide, while we expect superhuman efforts from ourselves. What the reality is though, is that it’s ok to make mistakes, it’s fine to be flawed, it’s what makes us all living breathing human beings. We’re all just trying to do our best, and that’s always good enough.

When you do something that you’re not proud of, or if you fail to live up to your moral code in a certain situation, learn from it and move on. Forgiving yourself does not mean that you’re accepting that behaviour as your own, or that you condone what you did. All it means is that you are accepting that you are a human. We are not meant to be perfect and that’s the beauty of us. Holding onto something, and trying to punish yourself continually is not the answer. If you forgive yourself then you can move forward, you can grow from the experience and use it to positively fuel your future actions. Forgive yourself and you will be able to love yourself again. And when you love yourself, for all your positive and negative traits, then you can understand yourself much better. If you know that you re-act a certain way to a particular situation, then when it arises, you will be able to see the warning signs and control yourself.

As hard as it might be to accept, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. If you don’t forgive yourself, then whatever you did, that part of you that you are ashamed of, will own you and your actions. But by accepting your own inner apology, by rising above yourself and saying you forgive your actions; you are taking back your strength and your life.

Forgiveness -letting go .

”Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even
and one-upping, always make you less than you are.” Malcolm Forbes

We are the ones who suffer when we hold on to past grievances.We give the situations and the people in our past power over us, and the same situations and people keep us mentally enslaved.They continue to control us when we stay stuck in ”unforgiveness”. This is why forgiveness work is so important. Forgiveness -letting go of the ones who hurt us-is letting go of our identity as the one who was hurt.It allows us to be set free from the needless cycle of pain, anger,and recrimination that keep us imprisoned in our own suffering.

What we forgive is not the act, but the actors-we are forgiving their suffering , confusion,unskillfulness,desperation, and their humanity.As we get the feelings out and let them go, we can then move on.

Remember that all of the events that take place in our lives and all of the individuals we encounter teach us valuable lessons.

I forgive the person or persons responsible, and I move on with my life with my integrity intact. This present life is merely a moment, and it is far too short to dwell on negativity or start nonsense with people. Those that really know me will not let someone elses malice or attacks color their view of me.

I pray that whoever started the rumors, or whoever bought into them, will not continue to propagate them.

I am through with this post, and may God bless you all.

People ask me why I don’t hate. Why don’t I hate my abuser. I really dislike them of course I do.

I realized I have allot of anger but it isn’t directed at the person, but at the behavior. What they did to me. I hate how they treated me.

That is why I stay away from them. I don’t like the drama and lies. The backstabbing and deceit. The falseness and superficial relationship.

I like honesty and keeping it real. I like to smile and laugh. I had enough crying in my lifetime. In my childhood and in the military. Enough is enough.

So as a adult I can control my life, I can control my environment and what type of behavior I allow in my life. That means the type of people I develop a relationship with. I can’t be a fake friend. I am to real for that.

I keep bad behavior out of my house and life. We control our world. Don’t let other people’s bad behavior interfere in your world no matter what the relationship is. Relatives, co-workers, siblings, neighbors…..if their behavior isn’t good for you, irritates you or your home darn it control your world…….

Stop it at your door….You don’t have to allow the behavior in your world…..It is YOUR world!!!!

How I don’t hate the person but the behavior? I know many donn’t understand that. But think about it.

How does a person forgive? How do they allow a person back into their life? They forgive the behavior, the act the person committed. Because the person is still the same. You can hope they change, you can hope they won’t do whatever it was they did again. But you didn’t forgive based on character. You either decided it was good for you to forgive the act or they asked for forgiveness. That doesn’t mean “THEY” changed.

It is the same concept as fear. It is the ACTION..Not the person…….Not the place…It is what was done or is done…..

Reality of Fear:

You arent scared of the dark, you are scared of what is in it.

You arent afraid of heights, you are afraid of falling.

You arent afraid of the people around you, you are afraid of refection or distrustful.

You arent afraid of love, you are afraid of not being loved back.

You arent afraid to let go, you are afraid to admit they are gone.

You arent afraid of getting hurt again, you are afraid of getting hurt again for the same reasons.

It is funny how we can turn things around in our head. For those that have been hurt, it isn’t love they should be scared of ….It is the TYPE of people that hurt you. For those that have are distrustful, learn to set boundaries….then you wont be afraid of those around you For those that don’t know what is in the dark, take a light..don’t put yourself in places or positions where you know you are going to be uncomfortable.

For those afraid of not being loved back, dont give your all to someone who treats you as a option. Never love someone more than yourself. So instead of generalizing your fears, narrow them down alittle. Then you can tackle them head on a little at a time…step by step…..

You see you set boundaries….You can love…You just insure you are also being respected. You insure it is 100%/100%…… Reality of fear is everything is not what it seems at first…. Baby steps…….narrow it down and take small steps……and you will find facing your fears isn’t that hard after all.

If you think you are afraid of water is that true or is a fear of drowning? Don’t BLAME the water…It is YOUR fear of drowning…

There are many factors involved in BLAMING, finding reasons, fault or any excuse to validate feelings……Always look at the facts…THINK not feel about the situation and you will react differently. Because if you were truly afraid of water…you wouldn’t bathe…

So always look at your “FEAR” and see what it is you are really afraid of.

Makes it alittle easier to deal with… SO look at your fear and place the blame where it belongs…..The action, the behavior…Then you can do something about it

One step at a time ♥

People today don’t always lend out their trust at the drop of a hat because people in this old world have seem to be gone crazy.  For example, people robbing other people simply because they want to go to jail for the medical and always is having a roof over their heads.   If you have money in your account, you can buy things at the prison store.  Prisoners have television, DVD, and radios. 

That all sounds good, but honestly I would rather have my freedom to be able to do whatever I want than to go to jail.  Believe me, it is not all it’s cracked up to be–I was in jail for a week and I thought I was going crazy.

People that are in jail and people that are out of jail can both be God’s children if they listen to him and ask for forgiveness. The people in jail have practice asking for forgiveness from God countless times for the many sins they have done against people. 

People out of jail have to also ask for forgiveness, but not for the big things that prisoners have asked for forgiveness.  Both types of people have experience God’s love and guidance for many things such as being a blessing to others and just for being there for other people. 

Try being a blessing to someone and make their day a little bit easier.  Let them know someone is still here caring about them.

SOME QUOTATIONS ON FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is clemency and pardon. It is act of pardoning someone for a mistake or wrongdoing. It also means exoneration, amnesty, absolution, pardon. Many people today find it hard to forgive those who offend them. They forget that there are consequences of bearing grudges. They forget that bearing grudges has some side effect on our health.  It will be proper you take to heart some of these quotations on forgiveness as its application into your life will lead to living happily.

Here are some quotations on forgiveness.

1. He who forgives ends the quarrel. – African Proverb

2. Every person should have a special cemetery lot in which to bury the faults of friends and loved ones. – Anonymous

3. The best way to get even is to forget. – Anonymous

4. The habit of judging and condemning others is usually a great deal more serious blemish than are the things we so glibly point out as flaws or faults. – Anonymous

5. They, who forgive most, shall be most forgiven. – Bailey

6. “I can forgive, but I cannot forget,” is only another way of saying, “I cannot forgive.” – Beecher

7. Life has taught me to forgive much, but to seek forgiveness still more. – Bismarck

8.  Good, to forget; Best to forgive. – Browning

9. Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it foregoes revenge, and dares to forgive an injury. – Chapin

10. Little vicious minds abound with anger and revenge, and are incapable of feeling the pleasure of forgiving their enemies. – Lord Chesterfield

11. They never pardon who commit the wrong. – Dryden

12. His heart was as great as the world, but there was no room in it to hold the memory of a wrong. – Emerson

13. The noblest revenge is to forgive. – Fuller

14. He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven. – Herbert

15. In the sphere of forgiveness, too many hatchets are buried alive. – Hubbard

16. Forgiving the unrepentant is like drawing pictures on the water. – Japanese proverb

17. A wise man will make haste to forgive, because he knows the true value of time, and will not suffer it to pass away in unnecessary pain. – Johnson

18.  We pardon in the degree that we love. – La Rochefoucauld

19. He who has not forgiven an enemy has never yet tasted one of the most sublime enjoyments of life. – Lavater

20. Doing an injury puts you below your enemy; revenging one, makes you even with him; forgiving it sets you above him. – Nylic Review

21. It is only one step from toleration to forgiveness. – Pinero

22. To love is human; it is also human to forgive. – Plautus

23. Good nature and good sense must ever join; to err is human, to forgive, divine. – Plautus

 24. A brave man thinks no one his superior who does him an injury; for he has it then in his power to make himself superior to the other by forgiving it. – Pope

25. We win by tenderness; we conquer by forgiveness. – Robertson

26. The narrow soul knows not the Godlike quality of forgiving. – Rowe

27. There is a noble forgetfulness-that which does not remember injuries. – Simmons

28. Pass smoothly over the perverseness of those you have to do with, and go straightforward.  It is abundantly sufficient that you have the testimony of a good conscience toward God. – Wesley

29. It is manlike to punish but godlike to forgive. – Winter

30. A heart that refuses to forgive robes it of peace. – Morgan Uzoma

31. Forgiveness is fundamental to bliss in marriage. – Morgan Uzoma

32. Forgiveness is a healing balm for the person offended than the offender. – Morgan Uzoma

I know you’re angry
I know you hurt
But do not force
to split

I want to be with
Although pleased even though we are hard

Maybe I’m wrong in your eyes
Maybe I’m weak in the eyes
But it never occurred
You go leave me

Why do not you see the blue sky
The series stars
Why do not you choose between the
show me

Which do you prefer
Which do you love
It must be done remains
to pick

Look at my eyes
Look into my heart
Sure you find
Love is there

If I’m wrong in your eyes
When I am weak in your eyes
I can only beg
Sorry for my fault

First tasted in infancy

Our mother’s breast,warmth and tummy

A cuddly type of love

A nurturing type of love

A lost man or woman

Showing signs of the unloved

Encounters a kind ear

This ear erases depression and fear

A love of kindness prevails

Years go by

Hurt by someone, some way

Forever the pain stays

The self is forgiven

The initiator is forgiven ,unconditionally

Love returns

A love of forgiveness

A priceless love

Always ready to give

Waiting for us to allow it, in

The Universal, Creator or Godly love

A love beyond human understanding

This love opens  doors

All This Love (song) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)