Love is a Game, Play
it!

She wants everything,
and gives ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Being
unappreciated and under constant demand can have very serious consequences. I’ve
had girlfriend on and off for about 6 years now, she is one of the most
beautiful and book smart women you will ever meet. She’s a high level executive,
looks like a Victoria Secret model, smells like sweet honey, and dresses in the
latest fashion’s that show every beautiful curve and expects to be treated like
nothing less than god’s gift to the entire world.

Treating
her like god’s gift to the world was something I was ok with in the beginning, until
I had the audacity to ask her to do something for me, and that’s when I began
to stray. One of her favorite sayings is “a man should do anything it takes to
make his woman happy.” People would say that there is nothing wrong with that statement
right? Wrong! When her man asks her what should a woman do to make her man happy
and her answer is, “nothing, I am a princess remember,” then a guy like me
knows how to fix that situation.

There
are several ways a person could address this situation, one could be to
continuously give into every demand, and another could be to mentally bow out.
Giving into every demand and receiving nothing in return was not something I
was ok with doing. I mentally bowed out and she began to get less and less from
me until she got nothing at all, well except physical pleasure. I did keep
dating her though because I do love her, I just had to keep other relationships
going to supplement for the emptiness, heartache, and drama she brought into my
life.

Am
I wrong or right? Who knows, but I am sustaining!

Sincerely,

That
Shadowy Figure

If your feeling down and frustrated with your life, having negative and damaging thoughts can project a very unhealthy atmosphere around you, and those close to you will probably sense this. It can be a very viscous circle, to make the most of your life, you need to take a new approach to life, embrace it and hold it close to you, every day you spend with negative attitude is another day wasted.

We don’t get enough time on this planet to let it pass us by, make a difference!

Unlike those Hollywood romance films, a recent study discovered the possibly inevitable fact of men tending to think themselves more sexually attractive than women actually find them, while girls tend not to think that men are really serious about wanting them.

Obviously, encounters between potential sexual partners are unpredictable at best, though those conducting the study feel that there may be deep-rooted reasons for signals getting crossed when such encounters happen.

All too often women are fed-up with those unwanted advances, while men seem repeatedly confused by reaction to their sexual advances in such situations. Men have always had to had to make the decision about whether an individual is sexually interested in them or not, but it seems that men in olden times were braver, the reason the gene-pool today is so diverse.

Missing mating opportunities is for men a big deal, because these sexual encounters are only rarely successful in terms of reproduction, simply because fertilization of an egg is such a hit and miss affair. The fact that guys have over-inflated opinions of how sexually appealing they are makes many encounters unproductive.

When 200 college students were put into a test speed-dating scenario about first impressions, each interacted with five others of the opposite sex, rating how interesting they seemed to others and how interested in others they seemed to be on a sliding scale.

Misperceptions varied greatly, the study offering clues to why this might be so. Men valuing long-term relationships were less likely to assume that women wanted them much more than they actually did than those, on the prowl for casual sex only.

Equally interesting was the difference in reality and perception of those men who women ranking low on the attractiveness scale. Better looking guys tended to be more realistic about women saw them, because they were more image confident.

Unsurprisingly, most men most often misread signals when with attractive women, probably because prettier women inevitably get the most attention, so they can be choosy. Most women like the male attention, but often get tired of fending off those who read sexual overtones into every encounter.

Research  being done in this area provides insight into potentially harmful misunderstandings about sexual intent, helping cement the idea that since men tend to over-estimate female sexual interest, it might be worth it for the girls to tone down flirtatious tendencies..

On the flip side, men wanting to avoid unexpected rejections the guys could work on being a little more cautious in their approach, as well as learning to properly read direct signs from women before making any move on them. Belief in yourself can lead to a satisfactory sex-life, but over-confidence will more often than not have you falling flat on your face.

Malcolm’s father is extremely self centered.  He lives alone in his world.  He can be very insulting and then try to cover over his gaffe with a kindness.  People who work with Malcolm Sr. don’t like him.  And many don’t speak to him because he has a phrase; “Too much talking.”   He never admits being wrong.  He constantly demands something be done then removes all the tools available. 

He micromanages his business so that after delegating he then goes back over the work nit picking so that it is virtually a waste of time to do it, because it will have to be done over. 

Malcolm Jr has grown with this kind of abuse, for it is abuse.  And his response has been a deliberate slowness, so that his father leaves him alone.  Hence anyone who asks Malcolm Jr for anything will become his father and will gain the resentment and reluctance.

If you or someone you know has grown with a kind of abuse, be aware of it.  Be aware and try to confront it. Even if it is only an internal confrontation, just appreciating it will prevent you from behaving as Malcolm Jr.

I’ve had it all figured out.

You took away my one dream.

My dream is all I have

Should you take it away?

I’m not even inspired

Love can’t be found

I was hoping for a miracle

Yet you failed me.

I gave my all

Yet I lost everything

I dreamt, I tried, I fought…I lost

I’ve nothing to live for

Coz you stole my dream away

And I ask, “Why?”

Febrina J. Tanghal © Copyright 2011 All Rights Reserved

Check out:

My First Ever Nude Sketch

Some Symptoms of Being in Love

Your Sinful Awakening

Image via Wikipedia

I apologize for the tone of this entry. I just watched the soon to be viral video of Herman Cain having a mental implosion after being asked a non-confrontational question. If you haven’t seen it yet and are prone to bloody noses brought on by disbelief, then grab a tissue and watch it. Just search for it under “Herman Cain asked about Libya” and I bet you will find a link. Basically, Herman Cain is asked if he agrees with President Obama’s handling of the Libyan conflict and the role that the U.S. played. There are very few answers here that are applicable; yes, no, yes but, and no but. Instead, the response that followed kind of clinched my absolute disinterest in this man and his campaign.

By the way, I don’t mean to imply that I was all too excited about him at any point. From his early promise to force all laws submitted to congress to be only three pages long, I figured this guy had too much money for his own good and needed to probably use it elsewhere. No, he decided he wanted to join the race for the presidency and none of us are better off for it. Well, those of us that are not comedians anyway. I just feel like this guy has no idea what he is doing but he has people around him telling him he is doing a great job and should keep going.

Do you know what happens when you are surrounded by yes men? Your sense of reality gets warped and that is the last thing this country needs. The reality in this country is already bordering on some sort of alternate dimension where nothing is quite right. Protestors are being arrested instead of the criminals they are protesting against. The people on TV that are in charge of giving the news are giving us their opinions instead. Useless celebrities are giving their stupid opinions and it becomes news. It doesn’t make any sense and to have a group around you at all times, pushing you into the spotlight with outlandish ideas (9-9-9 Tax), rudimentary education on important issues, your “charming business savvy”, and a sense of false support makes for great late night entertainment but a successful president it does not make.

You will notice that the rough sketch reasons I gave did not include the four sexual harassment suits that are being alleged. My problem with Cain has nothing to do with those allegations even though they are heinous and awful. My problem is with his horrendous lying about them. First he said they never happened, then he did admitted it, now he’s pretending like it’s our fault that there is so much hoopla over it. Maybe it wouldn’t have been such ado if he had admitted it up front instead of having temporary sexual harassment amnesia. He gets greasier than a Godfather’s Pizza every week.

As I said, the video is hilarious and infuriating to watch him struggle but continue to back pedal with every statement. It’s like he never wants to commit to one side of an argument or the other which would be understandable if you were popular with people on both sides. In this case, he just comes across looking like an idiot. He’s not playing both sides for support, he’s playing both sides because he doesn’t understand what each one means. The best part of this video, and by best I mean lamest, is the damage control his campaign people are doing in light of it. One of his guys said “it was out of context…” Are you kidding me? How is uninterrupted footage of Cain answering a question and claiming to have difficulty due to all of the things “twirling in my head” even close to being out of context?

The excuse is that he was being asked a lot of questions and he got flustered. Well that’s a relief. I heard that once you become president no one asks you questions, ever. They all disappear and you get to play a giant game of “Stratego” all day but in Cain’s case they will just bring in a huge version of “Pizza Party.” Look, I have worries about all of the candidates, not just the republicans. I have concerns about Obama too but Herman Cain is just about as bad a decision as we can make (unless you are also talking about Rick Perry because he’s a head bump away from being executed in Texas)

Mind looses power to think… or rather it thinks about a billion things at such an unearthly speed , simultaneously, that an impression of idleness is formed.

Java codes resemble a Dracula sucking away what could have been the best youthful time of your life … while bugs munch the leftovers of sanity … adamantly throwing exceptions, one after another at regular interval …

The cafeteria where once you delightfully had damp puffs and where the clouds posed for you near the window looks like a wormhole … a portico, connecting your golden cage with the cacophonous world.

When you talk, it becomes Rant. When you smile, it becomes an emoticon. When you write, it becomes Ramblings and Grumblings. Your phone bills are soaring high, yet you feel stuffed with unsaid words.

Looking up at the same-old-moonlit sky, you pray for incidents to happen… something remotely out of ordinary. Sincerely hope , that your molecular duplicate on the other side of universe, in a parallel world is not suffering the same fate. “

– She saved the document after pouring out her heart. Placed the earphones in her ears, and played ‘Super Massive Blackhole’ in her mobile, in an outrageously loud volume.
That silenced her mind.

We are made after Gods image. That means we have some of His attributes in us. Anger is positive when we see an injustice and it moves us to take positive action. Isn’t that what Jesus did when he saw the rip off artists (money changers) in the temple cheating people? Matthew 21:13, John 2: 15, 16; Mark 2:4-5. Gods’ response to anger is to take loving action to seek to stop the evil and to redeem the evildoer. Shouldn’t anger motivate us to take positive, loving action to right the wrong? That does not mean we should go out and destroy things or people like certain countries and religious fanatics do. Then you are doing the work of Satan, not God. Satan tears down. God builds up. It does mean we should band together to help the oppressed and disadvantaged. Isaiah 58:6-7

When dealing with someone we have a relationship with it should be done in a positive manner that will deal with the situation and heal the relationship. It should also be beneficial to the person that has hurt me.

In order to deal with the situation we must admit we are angry and what we are going to do about it. When we make an action plan do so with reason on how to solve the problem, not on how we can get revenge.

Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin.”

Before taking action, take a breather. Go for a walk; leave it for a day or two. Leaving it does not mean thinking the problem will go away. It means you will have time to cool off before you try to take action.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”Provbers 29”11

“People with good sense restrain their anger “Proverbs 19:11

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce

Try talking to a thousand or better yet, go for a walk. Take your anger out in exercise. Now that is a way to get a great workout.

After you have cooled of write out why you are angry, and how serious is the offense? It will help when you discuss it later.

Then think about what actions you are going to take to solve the problem. Please make sure they are positive and loving.

You can, confront the offender to seek resolution.

“If your brother sins, rebuke him and if he repents forgive him, if not treat him as a stranger Matthew 18(you must distance yourselves from them if they do not accept responsibility for what they have done, or they will do it again. You must however still pray for them). (rebuke means laying the sin out before them, not cutting them down. When you cut someone down they will build a wall around themselves to protect themselves. Then nothing is solved. Sometimes it is best to have an impartial person there to referee.).

Sometimes however, you must overlook the offense, because it does not lead to redemption in the relationship. Instead take it to God. He knows the other person far better than you. Sometimes it will be up to God to punish the offender. That does not mean you should pray for fire and brimstone to come crashing down on their heads. It sets you free from holding in your anger and frustration.

I know family members that did very abusive things to me. They will never admit it and it does cause us to be distanced from each other emotionally. I have tried talking it out with them and it is like talking to a brick wall. You can only bang your head up against a wall so many times and then it is time to walk away. It takes two to reconcile. If they refuse, stay away from them, because if you do not, they will know they got away with it and abuse you again. You should however, still pray for them. It is sad but, there are certain family members I do not believe I will ever see again. But, that is their choice.

Prayer: Jehovah Ropheka (the Lord our healer) ____________ has done or said _______________to make me angry. I pray for Your wise guidance in the best way to handle this matter. In Jesus’ glorious name I pray. Amen.

May the sunshine of Jesus’ sweet love bless you today and every day

 Frustration is derived from Latin frustrated which means ‘in vain’. This is another way of saying ‘failure’. In several walks of life, you strive in a particular direction but fail. That is, you strive in vain. These repeated attempts ‘in vain’ make one give up one’s goal. One begins to live in a private hell-brooding and a burden­some existence.

Frustration gives birth to worry, depression, fear and anger. If it is shortlived, we do not make much of it as it has only a transitory effect on us. However, it does leave its scar on our psyche.

In several cases of frustration, the damage inflicted on the emotional and mental life of the individual is far pronounced. A large number of suicides, for example, especially around the young, are committed because of frustration in love, exami­nations and stress connected with employment.

When bouts of anger, worry or depression become frequent, when one undergoes frustration after frus­tration, one is in the grip of emotional stress. Such a person is ‘upset’, ‘troubled’, ‘unsettled’, ‘bothered’ or ‘frustrated’.

An emotionally imbalanced person cannot function efficiently at his job. There is a marked personality change-brooding, irritability and unreasonable outburst of temper. He is morose and moody—a sure sign of a disturbed personality.

Emotional stress makes one erratic in judgement, in meeting crises and taking decisions. It also results in lack of confidence, security, faith and creates fears, mostly imaginary.

Everyone has spells of stress. Such bouts do not affect a person to the extent of his becoming ill or erratic.

If a disturbing event interferes . considerably with one’s plan, hope, sense of worth or security,  the

stress has a profound effect. Death, injury, setbacks in career, the break up of marriage, loss of job, disgrace are some obvious examples.

When we are prevented from realising our ambition because of some personal limitations—either real or imagined—we suffer from personal frustration. Both physical and psychological handicaps may be the sources of frustration.

The young who aspires to become an outstanding cricketer but cannot do so because of his lack of training, the one who feels hesitant and shy to approach the object of his love because he is afraid of being rejected suffers frustration.

Domestic and family affairs, like the material, also generate lots of hurt frustrated feelings. These live on pins and needles.

These build up feelings of inferiority and lack of personal worth, which in turn, serve to increase the depth of frustration.

One may have two mutually conflicting goals. For example : a young man may want to marry the woman he loves and also finish his education but, for financial cons­traints he is unable to do both at the same time. The mental conflict causes frustration.

Frustration is inevitable and natural. How one reacts to it deter­mines how well one gets along in life. There are some persons who feel frustrated all the time. They are not successful in finding the satisfactions in life that they strive for. They are chronically dissatisfied.

This dissatisfaction is crucial. There are persons who wilt and break down in the wake of stress and tension just as the weak tree cracks unable to bear the impact of a storm.

But there are a large number of others who have faced furious frustrations and are still able to stand on their own and win. Such people are like the willow tree which bends but never breaks.

One immature reaction to frus­tration is anger and an impulse to feel hurt. Anger is followed by hostility and aggression. These reactions show the worth and mettle of the indivi­dual.

However, others do not indulge in acts of aggression. Instead they express their anger or hostility on someone or something having noth­ing to do with the cause of frustra­tion. An example is of the husband who has a triff with his boss but behaves harshly with his wife.

A frustrated person feels hostile to most people. He hits out at any target—at those who represent the frustrating forces or at those who have what he wants. This explains why people are cruel for no reason at all.

Another reaction is depression. It occurs when one is unable to sustain the stress of frustration.

Life is full of people who have given up when persistence might have paid rich dividends. They are quitters. In such cases, frustration results in depression which may lead to suicide—a drastic way to escape the burden of achievement. There are others who take to drinking or drugs in order to deaden the pangs of suffering. This is a sure way of landing oneself into a private hell.

Frustration is inevitable. But there are people who can ‘take’ it while others ‘go to pieces’. They break.

There are ways to face frustra­tion. One way is to look at the problem in a clam and detached manner and find the best solution. Studies have shown that those who can stand frustration without break­ing down have deep faith in them­selves. There is no problem which cannot be solved.

No matter how formidable and grim the situation, victory is sure. They know that there is always a dawn to every darkness.

“Life is a sexually transmitted disease.”

strengths by intelligently compensat­ing and improving upon them.

When you are confronted with a serious problem, think it through patiently and carefully and find out ways and means to overcome it. Never be afraid of difficulties tor they have a positive aspect too. Difficulties make us grow and become strong.

“The hammer shatters glass but forges steel.” If you are like steel, if you are malleable like steel, the difficulties of life will forge you into strength and power.

Success means ability to work hard and for long hours; power to application and attention; desires to reach a goal; and pluck that drives one on.

You must strive for advancement with a strong desire to forge ahead. Anticipate the thrill of being success­ful and you will step out of the private hell of doom, gloom, grief.

For, it is not the hurt or frus­trated feelings of conditions or circumstances that determine your failure and success in life, it is the spirit in which you face them that shapes your destiny.

Hence, bright and bouncy ideas are like chessmen moved forward. They may be beaten but they start a winning game ! 

Those who do not know to bear the burden of frustration get panicky and act in a manner that defeats their own aim. They make the situation worse. They lack faith in themselves. Neither do they feel confident of tackling problems.

Instead of facing problems, they take refuge in subterfuge and escapist stratagems which seem to alleviate or solve the problem but actually do not do so in reality. They are escapists. They try to hide in a fog.

The immature way to use energy-packed emotions is to strike at frustrations with dire consequences rebounding on one’s own self. A jealous woman shoots dead her lover and spends her life in jail.

The mature reaction to frustra­tion is to use the emotional energy in a constructive manner by accepting the challenge and facing it like a MAN. Face success like a gentleman, failure like a man.

This gives us the emotional energy to face frustrating conditions. Even when you are frustrated and there does not seem to be any way out, do not abandon your goal. Keep it alive. Discover a way out of your predicament. Conceding defeat and venting your spleen on others is easy and may be even face-saving but it takes all your worth to sustain and plod on towards your goal against heavy odds.

When damage, which is a source of frustration, cannot be repaired, one can compensate by developing some other facets of personality. A crippled girl Sudha Chandran became a skilful dancer using artificial legs.

Emotional conflict is deleterious in many ways. Action, therefore, is necessary. If there is decision to be made, make it. If a difficult task has to be done, instead of procrastinating, get it out of the way. There is no problem, no difficulty which cannot be.solved if tackled systematically and with sustained effort. An ounce of action is better than a ton of wishful thinking.

Mental conflicts can be resolved if one assumes a problem solving attitude. Instead of brooding, fretting and fuming one should, in a calm and matter-of-fact manner, try to find out solution to the problem.

Benjamin Franklin says “when difficult cases occur, they are difficult chiefly because, while we have them under consideration, all the pros and cons are not present to the mind at the same time, but sometimes one set present themselves, and at other times another, the first being out of sight. Hence the various purposes or inclinations that alternatively prevail, and the uncertainty perplexes us”.

Resolve your problems, overcome your difficulties and break your frustration firstly by a positive approach having deep faith in your ability to do so.

Stop punishing yourself. People adopt many devious and subtle ways to inflict punishment on themselves. Some remain stuck in mental grooves, in wrong jobs and submit themselves to masochistic relation­ships with others.

The instinct for self-defeat is strong. Like all rationalizations, it disguises itself as common sense. The urge to do nothing, to stay put, to accept the second-rate, is stronger than to step out in the sunshine of success. It is built into the personality and becomes hard to throw out.

It is, however, important to recognize these complexes and to face them in a sensible and organised manner.

Ask yourself how much res­ponsibility you can take for them.

Did you fix your expectations too high ? Were they too unrealistic and, to that extent, unattainable ?

Evaluate what is the price you have to pay to get out of the mental morass you are in.

The aim is to separate the rational from the irrational and the neurotic. Once you have cleared the mental horizon, realization becomes easier. One success leads to another and builds confidence. The clouds of frustration begin to disperse.

Don’t ever quit. Stay with it. It is simply amazing what simple persis­tence will do where you use it intelligently on your difficulties. Bid your time and face the storm like the willow tree yielding but never breaking.

Turn your shortcomings and handicaps   into   advantages .

“The supreme Irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of It alive.”

She said,” After months of trying unsuccessfully and gobbling down numerous pills to get pregnant, I was completely frustrated and felt like I am never going to be a mom. Of course, some options like surrogation and adoption were there but I wanted to get pregnant naturally. One day, I took some time out of my busy schedule and tried to guess what was wrong. I realized that sex was not the only factor that decided one’s pregnancy. There were a number of other factors involved. I drew a chart for myself which was as follows.

1. Reduce stress

The key to getting pregnant is a comfortable body and mind. I had neither. Since I was planning for a baby, I knew I would need a lot of money for medical necessities during and after my pregnancy; and also some bank balance to secure my child’s future. So I worked hard to earn money. In addition, I had to cook and clean for my family. To add on, my mental anxiety was increasing constantly with every passing month of failed conceiving. I felt as if my head was about to burst and my body would shatter to pieces. I decided to completely cut down on my stress. I hired a cook and started working part-time. Fortunately, my husband was doing well in his job. I stopped worrying about the money and took time to rest my body. To get rid of mental tension, I watched my favorite shows and practised meditation. I even went for a holiday with my husband for a few days and we enjoyed a lot.

2. Stop worrying about weight gain

Many people suggested me that having an obese body can lead to failure in conceiving. So, I always stayed worried to keep my weight in check. While this lead to additional stress, it also had an adverse effect on my body. According to my plan, I stopped worrying about my weight. I left going to the gym for heavy workout and started to take a leisurely walk in the mornings and evenings instead. This also helped me make new friends whom I met during my walk and when I returned home, I felt refreshed and happy. I also ate lots of fruits and veggies and drank a lot of water for a good health. Occasionally, I treated myself to my favorite food like pizza, so that I never felt the need to suppress my craving for a particular food. I tried to avoid caffeine and alcohol. I had read that beans like soya are good to enhance the sperm count. So, I often fed them to my husband.

3. Stay happy

Instead of worrying about why I wasn’t able to get pregnant, I started to focus on other things. I started to visit friends more frequently and often insisted my husband to take me out for a movie or dinner. On weekends, we went to amusement parks, water parks, discos and even the zoo. This made me happy and our relationship was rejuvenated. 

4.Visit the doctor

Visiting a doctor was essential not only because, he/she can detect a problem relating to pregnancy if any, but also to know about my ovulation period and dietary needs. The doctor recommend pills and food supplements to compensate for my vitamin and mineral needs. I also brought an ovulation meter to help me detect my ovulation period at home

5. Plan a surprise for your spouse

I often saw that couples who wished to conceive in the first year of their marriage got pregnant easily. So, I felt that the spark and intense chemistry of love and passion between a newly married couple played a vital role in pregnancy. I planned to bring back the fun that we had when we were just married. 

So, everyday I created a romantic atmosphere in my house. I cooked my spouse’s favorite food and brought some roses and scented candles. Just before he came come, I scattered the rose petals on our bed and lighted the candles. Then I bathed and left my hair and body smelling wonderfully. I also tried on some sexy clothes, mostly made of chiffon and velvet. And though I was not in proper shape, my husband loved it. For the first time I realized that a wife is never ugly to her husband even if she is fat, if she showers her love and compassion to him.

6. Be careful about the sex positions

Many people do not consider this to be effective for pregnancy but I think it important to place the sperm as close to the cervix as possible. To do so, I started to avoid positions that put me on the top like standing, sitting on the top etc. while having sex. Instead I went for conventional poses like the missionary position (man on top), doggy style etc. for a deeper penetration. I also placed a pillow under my hip and did not get up for at least half an hour after the intercourse.

 7. Make love whenever possible

Medical surveys have proved that sperms can last up to five days in a female’s body while eggs last barely twenty four hours. Therefore, having frequent sex is important. I made love whenever I felt like. I stopped setting a goal of getting pregnant while making love. Instead, I  relaxed and made the sex playful and did it just for fun, like old days. I asked my partner to indulge in cuddling, kissing and foreplay to create a mood for orgasm. Orgasm is important in pregnancy because the contractions tend to push the male sperm inwards, towards the cervix. Surveys state that a female takes approximately twenty minutes to reach orgasm. Therefore, I asked my husband to dedicate some time in helping me first to stimulate my sexual desires before penetration. All this because, I knew that a complete satisfaction in sex can lead to a successful pregnancy.

All these steps along with the love and support of my near and dear ones helped me to get pregnant and eventually, become happy and satisfied with my life.”

So, this was her experience and planning that has now completely transformed her life for good. You can go ahead and try her suggestions and see the result for yourself. All the best!