http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/post/proposition-8-is-overturned-and-obama-catches-a-break-on-gay-marriage/2012/02/07/gIQAQCCswQ_blog.html?tid=pm_opinions_pop

If you’re interested, more examples of the younger generations taking interest in this issue during this election include this article about a video (again a product of YouTube) of a student who leads her high school’s LGBT group questioning former candidate Michelle Bachmann (http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2011/12/student-challenges-bachmann-on-gay-rights/) and this article about gay rights being supported more by college students than Americans as a whole (http://chronicle.com/article/College-Freshmen-Approve-of/64685/)

On the subject of same sex couples raising children, Rick Santorum said that allowing homosexual couples to raise children would be “robbing children of something they need, deserve, and have a right to.”  Children have a right to loving parents.  It is archaic and ridiculous to dictate the dynamic of a family unit in America.  Single parents, homosexuals, and blended families can all prove to be excellent at raising a child.

I recently had the opportunity to spend a nice evening with two women who have been in a same sex union for many years and are raising their young adult children. The women  have impressive careers, and are in the process of considering their retirement.  We met quite by chance at a restaurant where the tables were placed close together.  Although I don’t recall how our conversation began, my husband and I wound up making our night out together into a pleasant foursome as we chatted about raising our families, travel, and education.  The women as a couple had a great deal in common with us.

We spoke at length about parenting our children and the challenges of a changing workplace for young adults. We all agreed that we must be supportive of our respective children’s goals.  The fact that our dinner partners were a same sex couple made no difference to my husband and I.  We found them to be enjoyable company, intelligent, sensitive, and polite.

Gay rights should not be a political issue.  The right to be married and have a family belongs to every American.

The idea behind National Coming Out Day is to celebrate sexual and gender diversity. Basically, if we can provide a supportive environment that empowers closeted LGBT to come out, our community will strengthen each time someone does. The day is also there for straight supporters, too. All in all, this wonderful event increases awareness of LGBT issues in a world where they are still not properly addressed. 

This year’s Coming Out Day was the first I have ever taken part in. In some places they have marches or parades, in other places they give out information pamphlets and hold seminars. I think these things are amazing and it is so great to see the support from a community that is strengthening each year. However, I didn’t actually participate in any parades or marches and I didn’t hand out any pamphlets or hold a seminar. I did my bit for National Coming Out Day by, well, coming out.

This may not sound like much — telling someone I’m gay for the first time — but for anyone who hasn’t been there, who has never had to tell someone that their sexual orientation is ‘not normal’, it will be hard for you to imagine just how big of step it is. 

With all the celebrity coming out parties – lots of them coming out by Twitter/Facebook — and a general lack of exposure to homosexuality and gender diversity, coming out is probably a little hard for straight folk to understand. First of all, it’s not a single event in a person’s life. Coming out is an extended process that involves a person slowly coming to terms with their sexual orientation and, eventually, telling people about it. It’s not common for a ‘normal’, non-celebrity, to come out to everyone at once. In fact, I’d say every gay* celebrity was out with their family and friends before releasing their coming out magazine cover/press conference/sitcom episode. Little by little, a person can identify themselves as gay to other people — of course, they first have to indentify as gay with themselves. 

For me, the day came — October 11 2011. Ten eleven twenty eleven. It had a nice ring to it, so I thought I’d take the plunge. There were two people I wanted to tell the most. One of my best friends who had moved away to a different town and my older sister who (in the least cheesiest way possible) is another of my best friends. I happen to be on the other side of the world at the moment (just randomly) and I won’t be going home for another few months, so I didn’t know if it would be so good for me to come out right now. But I read over the National Coming Out Day website and a few other resources online and decide that I needed to come out now. It was just something I had to do.

So there I was, sitting at my desk with a pen in hand, a blank sheet of paper staring back at me. I’m not going to share what I wrote — it’s a really personal thing. But the gist of it was this:
“Dear ______.
Well, today is National Coming Out Day so I thought it would be a great time to tell you that I am gay. I’m sorry I never told you before now — there were so many times that I wanted to say something but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. You have always supported and helped me and I can only hope you will continue to do so now that you know I am a gay man. We don’t have to mention this next time we speak if you don’t want to, or we can. Whatever’s fine — I just don’t want this to be an awkward subject. I’m still the same person I always was! Please, never forget that, no matter what happens from here, you will always be one of my best friends.”

Writing these words down was a lot harder than I ever thought it would be. But the hardest part came next; sticking a stamp on that baby and putting into the hands of complete strangers to deliver. I thought about it for a few days — the envelope just sat there on my desk. In fact, I ended up rewriting one of the letters. After that, I had to send it. Letting go of those letters has been, simultaneously, the most liberating and the most scary experience of my life so far. I didn’t know how to feel as I waited to see what kind of response I would get (and to see how much my life was potentially going to change). It was almost unbearable, to be in such a limbo.

From my sister, I got an email response the day the letter arrived. It was heart warming and supportive, and there was no better response I could have asked for. After reading it, I just started crying. I don’t even know why — I was so happy, but at the same time, I was scared. I had just started my coming out journey and, from here on, my life was going to change completely. At the same time, I knew not all my future responses would be so good. 

From my friend, I haven’t heard back yet. I don’t know how long it will take for a response, or if she will ever talk to me again. All I know is, whatever she decides, it’s not my fault. I am gay and there’s no changing it. It’s already been months since I sent the letter and I haven’t seen her again since then. But I’m going to keep waiting — that’s all I can do.

For anyone reading this, please support National Coming Out Day in your community. Whether you’re LGBT, or a straight ally, your support is invaluable to people like me. 

*I say “Gay” with the widest possible meanings (Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender… you name it!)

Abortion – Regardless of personal views, I believe the decision of whether or not to have an abortion should be left to the Mother, Father, and input from related medical personnel.

Gay rights – To each their own.  Let them marry if they want.  Who is it really hurting? Let them serve in the military, law enforcement, and any other job that they are capable of doing.  Who cares what their sexual preference is? “Don’t ask, don’t tell” – Again, who cares? Nobody has to put down on a job application that they are heterosexual, do they? I believe they should be treated as any other human being.

Affirmative action – Get rid of it.  I believe that the most capable person should be put in the position for which they are needed.  Black, white, yellow, brown, purple, plaid, mauve, tan, etc.  Who cares? Are they the best qualified? If so, hire them.  PERIOD.

Gun control – Do away with most of it.  A few specific aspects should apply such as child molesters, rapists, persons convicted of serious felonies involving firearms, and a few other specific issues.  The rest of our citizens should be able to own a firearm if they so choose, as per or founding fathers.  Additionally, a State should be able to determine less restrictive laws for that particular state without repercussions from the federal government.

Social Security – Keep it.  Re-vamp it.  Make it work.  For starters, everyone who does not pay into a private retirement program should be mandated by law to pay into Social Security.  This means YOU Congress and President.

Taxes – Even percentage across the board.   Being wealthy is not a reason NOT to pay taxes, it’s a reason to pay that much more.

War – If it’s reasonable and necessary for the United States to be involved in a war, then it should do so.  It should not go to war simply because we have a vested selfish financial reason in doing so.

Immigration – Secure our borders! Illegal immigrants shall be treated as they would be from their own country if their laws are more severe than those established by the United States of America.   We have a system in place for legal immigration.  That system should be used for the time being.  It should be reviewed to see if a more feasible approach to illegal immigration can be established.

Now a heterosexual step parent can get full custody of their step-children. A homosexual step parent can not! Shouldn’t a Step-parent be able to get custody of their step-children as long as there is due cause to say that one of the biological parents should not have custody? Think of equity here and the children in these families who need protection from abusive parents, if they are in that scenario.

I have set up this petition for LGBT step parents to get full rights of their step children, as long as there is proof that one of the biological parents should have no rights to the child! Will you sign this petition to keep children in LGBT families safe? Or will you let this petition go to the wayside and see a child get hurt because you didn’t take the necessary seconds out of your time to sign this petition? The choice is yours!

I have signed this petition and I am the one that started this petition. At the time I am writing this, there are 139 signatures. This petition needs at least 3,000 signatures! Where are the people now who defend gay rights and want to protect children in LGBT families? I summon all of you to sign this petition.

This is one small step towards change! All of us need change, and if you fear change you are ignorant! Change happens for a reason and it is up to the people to make sure the change is for the better! Sign this petition now and don’t be afraid of change!

Stop Discrimination In Child Custody Laws Towards LGBT Step Parents

Something I have noticed a lot of lately is straight people, especially straight females, who go out of their way to surround themselves with gay (usually male) friends. While it is great that people are becoming more open and accepting of other’s differences, a lot of these friendships seem more based on following a trend than on actually wanting friendship. It’s trendy to say things like “it’s okay, I have a lot of gay friends!”

With shows like Will and Grace and Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, a lot of straight girls seem to find having a gay male friend to be “fashionable.” They just want a guy to go shopping with. 

Gay culture is also becoming trendy and fashionable, and they want to be part of it even though they are not gay themselves. By having a gay friend, straight people can feel like they are being supportive of the cause and part of some great social movement. 

Straight men are not exempt from this phenomenon either. Straight guys seem to gravitate toward lesbians and bisexual women. This, however, is for a completely different reason than that of their female counterparts. These straight men are arrogant enough to think that if they spend enough time with a lesbian, they can “convert” her, or that she is only gay because she hasn’t met the right man yet (which, of course, will be them). 

Straight men also assume that all bisexual women are sex-starved sluts who can’t wait to get with any straight man and a couple of their female friends at the same time. This is usually only a fantasy, because most bi girls.

Women need to stop looking at gay men as fashion accessories and straight men need to stop seeing lesbians and bi women as sexual objects. People are people, no matter what their sexual preference, and they deserve to be treated as human beings. 

Myths About Bisexuality

Why Do So Many Women Identify as Bisexual? – Part 1: Attention

Why Do So Many Women Identify as Bisexual? – Part 2: Confusion

Why Do So Many Women Identify as Bisexual? – Part 3: Real Bisexual Women

Can Anyone be Truly Bisexual?

Is Sexual Orientation a Choice?

Why “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Should NOT Have Been an Issue in The First Place

Get Paid to Write!

Well, much as I try and keep my bitching to things that I feel are unaddressed by everyone else, I think its high time I let homophobes feel my ire. Also, I don’t like calling them “homophobes”. “Homophobe” implies an irrational and over-powering fear, like “arachnophobes”, but a homophobe is really just another form of bigotry and people need to stop pretending its anything like a real phobia. 

I’ve got as many issues with homophobia as the next thinking individual, but I’ll try and keep this short regardless. I’m against it as much as I’m against and other form or arbitrary bigotry, all though not because I’m against hate. Being against hate would make me a hypocrite. I am against arbitrary hate of a person over something they have no control over. Its like saying “I hate you because you’re right-handed.” Like they have any control over it, I’d much rather save my hate and hate them because they’re a jackass. So, in light of this, I’d like to point out why your hate is retarded. 

1. No one has any control over who they’re attracted too. 

This is true on so many levels. If people had any control over what the chemicals in their brain were doing my friends wouldn’t go for chicks that are obviously nuts and douche-bags would remain virgins for life. However, if we don’t have even enough control to dictate whether we want to bone someone who’s obviously bad for us, what makes you think we can dictate the sex of that person? Its not a goddamn rational decision, its brain chemicals. And brain chemicals are fucking weird. 

2. Porn

This may seem like a strange thing to bring up, but bear with me. Go through anyone’s porn folder, (even your own, don’t deny that you have one), you will probably find guy-on-guy or girl-on-girl. Why? Because its hot. Why? Fuck if I know, but it is, its pervasiveness in porn says so, and that doesn’t lie. Also, if you think porn is a great evil you’re either a hypocrite or painfully repressed, but that’s a tirade for another time. 

3. Everyone is a little bit gay. 

No, really, I mean that. Sexuality is a spectrum, and people fall all over it. You might be mostly hetero, or mostly homo, but everyone is a little bit bi. Best of all, THAT’S OK! If you’re a chick, and you like chicks, that’s fine. If you’re a dude and you find yourself checking out other dudes, you’re still normal. Hell, if you’ve ever been sitting there, and realize that a member of the other sex is attractive, even if you’d never actually do anything with them, you’re still normal. 

4. Repression isn’t healthy. 

It really isn’t. Denying what you are because of religion or bullies or whatever isn’t good for you. If you’re deeply religious and your religion says its wrong, look at it this way. 

Your creator created you. He/She/It loves you. He/She/It is perfect. Chances are, you came out ok. And if your pastor/priest/rabbi/shaman/godsman/etc. says otherwise I’ll fight them. Because I don’t even know who you are, but I hate it when people are put down over something they have no control over.

I might hate you because you’re an asshole, a bitch, irritating, stupid, ignorant, slothful, greedy, loud, quiet, etc. But I’ll never hate you because of your sexuality. It makes just as much sense as hating someone because they’re tall. I may say it in jest, but I’ll protect your rights to proverbial knee-caps as much as I’ll protect my own. Because I like Girls. And that’s totally ok.  

If you’re reading this, and acknowledge yourself as a “homophobe”, I want you too think about what that means, and if you can really hate someone for something as basic as being tall or short. And if you have ever cruelly bullied someone for their sexuality, I want you to go find a ruler and smack yourself for being an ass. Because frankly, you’re an ass. 

Don’t you hate when your parents or friends don’t like your boyfriend or girlfriend? Imagine it being like that, except it’s not your parents or friends, it’s society. That’s kind of what it’s like being homosexual. Few people support it. There’s nothing wrong with homosexuality, and there’s nothing wrong with supporting it.

For one, homosexuals are just like you. The only difference is the gender they’re attracted to. They’re still just people. Sometimes, you can’t even tell if a person is gay or straight, especially now because a lot of people keep it a secret because they’re scared. Being openly gay is hard because everyone judges you and treats you differently, mostly out of fear of “catching it” when they treat you differently in a bad way.

People need to understand, homosexuality isn’t a disease. It’s not filthy or disgusting, not anymore than heterosexuality is anyways. It’s a relationship. It can be scary and bad, maybe abusive, but it can also be beautiful and adorable. Seeing any two people in love, regardless of their genders, is beautiful. If you support love, why not support homosexuals rights to it too?

Supporting their rights doesn’t have to mean you support their lifestyle. You don’t have to support their same-sex relationships, but why not support their rights as people? They’re people all the same, so why can’t they get treated like the rest of the people? I’ve seen a bumper sticker around that says “Support Gay Marriage. Everyone deserves the chance to be miserable.” and while being pretty funny, it’s true in a way.

Everyone deserves the chance to get married. their marriage won’t affect you in any way, so why can’t you support their rights? Supporting homosexual rights and being homosexual are nothing to be ashamed about and there’s nothing wrong with it. Be proud of who you are and be proud of supporting the rights of all people, no matter what the difference is.