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India’s population is second only in the world. China leads but not for long. Very soon by 2014 India will cross China population and become the most populous country in the world. When India attained independence from British rule in the year 1947( after being enslaved for over 200 years) the country’s population at that time stood at  350 million. Today the population stands at an astronomical figure of 1.25 billion almost four times of that as much. The population of India increases by 1.78 per cent which translates into more than 18 million people. The continent of Australia has a population of less than 18 million. That means India adds a country like Australia every year. Now 18 million people every year have to be fed, housed and educated. This clearly looks unsustainable as all the young people of India migrate to the cities, since the countryside cannot support with the kind of infrastructure available now. This can be a major problem.

Here is another paradox. The census findings of 2011 by the Government of India found that the percentage of literate Indians has risen from 65 per cent in 2001 to 75 per cent currently. It is more encouraging to learn that female literacy has risen much more than the males. Nonetheless, the gender literacy chink – a straight 17 per cent- is wide enough, a sad reflection of India’s persistent social bias against the girl child.

Although commendation is being claimed for for the rise in literacy to 75 per cent, it means that 320 million Indians- a number greater than the population of the United States – still cannot read or write. A reprehensible situation. By far, the largest number of illiterates in the world.

Curiously, knowledgeable commentator Nandan Nilekani, co-founder of Infosys Technologies refers to Indian’s huge population as a “demographic dividend”. In his book “Imagining India” Nilekani writes that the country’s ballooning population is an encouraging, rather than discouraging development because it has enlarged the work force. Much as I respect the man but sadly, I think he is mistaken. Those whose numbers are increasing are not, by and large, literate Indians but the less educated. Nilekani’s demographic dividend thesis could have been justifiable. And may have proved Right – if literacy level had been higher.tin the future. And methinks that as conditions stand, India’s growing population is not a benefit but a burden.

What worries me is the Ratio between boys and girls, which was bad enough a decade ago is getting worse. It was 927 girls to 1000 boys in 2001 which has dropped to 914 girls to 1000 boys in 2011. In most of the western countries the reverse is the case. What does that show? Simply that female infanticide is rampant in the 21st century India. In the earlier times a few states in the north were found guilty of female foeticide and infanticide. Now this terrible practice, nothing less than cold blooded murder has spread to almost all the States.

The son preference syndrome exists very strongly in India and other Asian countries. Why do countries like India have this gender discrimination? The reasons according to me for this rampant and persistent prejudice against women are economic and cultural. Feather-brained traditions, like a son being needed to light his funeral pyre, and dirty dowry paid for daughter’s marriage and property and inheritance laws are biased in favor of men. But South Korea in Asia presents an illuminating contrast. This country too had patrimonial society favouring boys until quite recently. However, with Urbanisation and modernization have brought about catalysed attitudinal changes. As a result women have become equal to men everywhere and the society give respect to women. India needs to emulate the socio-economic development of South Korea.

This, however, is misleading. We cannot forget that thousands, may be millions of women, all over India are being
exploited daily in the form of eve-teasing, molestation, physical oppressions, mental trauma, discrimination on
several counts,etc. This is how gender bias which is deep-rooted in our society,is being overtly and covertly goaded
against the female population in our country.

The fact regarding female foeticide which has reduced the female ratio drastically in the country and in Punjab
below 800 per 1000 boys, need no emphasis.

The most distressing is a mother’s bias against girls as compared to boys in the matter of education, giving
pocket money, diet, allowing freedom,etc. If a mother behaves like this, her son will consider himself superior to
his sister and will, in course of time, show male chauvinism even to his mother and the daughter when she grows up
and becomes mother will behave similarly to her daughters and thus the vicious circle will continue.

In the last decade the word ‘Women Empowerment’ has been circulated at a very large scale to the extent that it appears that it has lost its real essence. For one person the meaning is that she should be empowered the old ‘Parampara’ and confine to home to take care of the family members. These are the same paramparas which are responsible for her slavery for the centuries together. These are the shackles in her legs which never allowed her to stand on her own feet. Sati Partha is glaring example of the same. There people and organizations which still want that Sati partha is to be followed by each women religiously. ‘Roop Kanwar Sati Kand’ which happened in Rajasthan, is an example of such empowerment. Roop Kanwar was empowered to sacrifice herself at the funeral pyre of her husband. Most of us not concerned about the real facts of that episode. Majority of Indians ridiculed this partha. But a good number of men and women (in lakhs) gathered to celebrate the anniversary of her sacrifice.(In a way these men and women who came were empowered one).This philosophy wants women to empower in home work and train her in methods to individually defend herself like judo and karate. For other person the empowerment of women means that she should have complete freedom to sell her body in the market in one way or the other. This philosophy advocates that when a woman has a good and beautiful body, why not she should sell it and enjoy? With this mind set the women in this capitalist system is earning for enjoyment through her body by working in odd advertisements, working as models, working as sales women, exploit the other side for favors of promotion etc. In this male dominated society the manhood wants to empower her to come out of the premises of the home and accompany him to five star hotels where he can have free launce with her. He considers her as an object and not a human being. Many of the women are falling victim to such pseudo empowerment. She becomes prey to open market consumerism. For third person the meaning of empowerment is that she should get self respect in society, should get equal rights as man is having in the society, should grow and work in a gender friendly environment. In real sense she should be equal partner of the civic society. Question is how it can be achieved? Let us all of us ponder over it and contribute for real empowerment of women. The society will have to develop a clear vision to remove the obstacles to the path of women’s emancipation both from the government and women themselves. Efforts should be directed towards all round development of every Indian woman by giving them their due share. This will need another new Navjagran, an upheaval to shatter the shackles of women.

R.S.Dahiya

Senior Professor Surgery

PGIMS,Rohtak,Haryana

India

dahiyars@rediffmail.com

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1. Gender Bias and dreams:

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Is there a gender bias when you dream? If you say “No” to this question, I’m sorry; there is a gender bias.

a. Recently a research was conducted on this topic and was found that women gets dream of both male and female while almost 67% of the men dream only about men.

b. Dreams of women last longer than men. This difference occurs as majority of the men dream either about public places or unknown persons. This is not the case with women. They dream about known issues.

2. You remember only about 10% of your dreams:

Within a time span of 5 minutes, you tend to forget a major portion of your dreams, say half of what you dreamt. In the next 5 minutes (a total of 10 minutes), you forget the remaining 90% of your dreams. What is now remaining is only 10% and you only remember this. Do you now understand why you struggle to say the whole of your dream to someone?

3. One-third of our life is spent on dreams:

It is found in a recent research that a dream can last anywhere between 1 and 2 hours; sometimes dreams last only 10 or 15 minutes. In our lifetime on an average, we spend 6 years dreaming.

4. Brain is more active when we dream:

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Recent studies have proved that brain is more active when we dream when compared with the time we are awake.

5. No dreams:

If you are one among many who says that you don’t get dreams at all, it means you don’t remember any of your dreams.

6. No dreams when snoring:

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You will not get any dreams when you are snoring.

7. All your dreams are not colored dreams:

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According to Wikipedia, “Twelve percent of people dream only in black and white. Recent research has suggested that those changing results may be linked to the switch from black-and-white film and TV to color media.”

8. Visually challenged people also dream:

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Yes…visually challenged or blind people also dream, but only when they are not visually challenged by birth. People who are born blind may get dreams based on other senses like touch, smell, emotion and sound.

9. Rapid Eye Movement (REM) and dreams:

You will not be able to remember much of your dream when you wake up after a full night’s sleep, but will be able to remember a major part of the dream when you wake up from Rapid Eye Movement (REM).

10. You become paralyzed when you dream:

Do you remember any instance where you were not able to move at all during your dreams? This is because you become paralyzed when you dream. In such an instance, a person who is dreaming will be aware of the surroundings and at the same time will be dreaming. I have had this experience. How about you?

11. Quitters and dreams:

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Have you quit smoking recently? If yes, be prepared as you will get more intense dreams that last longer. A recent study shows that in general, many of the quitters dream about smoking.

12. Children and dreams:

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Children don’t appear in their own dreams until they become three or four years old. You might have watched your toddler suddenly waking up crying as they get nightmares.

13. Dream comes true:

A survey was conducted in the year 1980 about dreams. It was found that nearly 42% of people said their dreams came true after a certain period of time. This has happened to me.

14. Animals also dream:

 Image via relameaningofdreams

Like humans, animals too dream.

15. Dreams are God’s messages:

Romans believed that God sends messages to people through dreams. Therefore, they tell their dreams to the Roman Senate, which are later analyzed.

How were these facts? Share me your dreams if you remember them…

More articles from the author can be viewed at http://ukhamba.web.officelive.com

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That is why I picture myself as Mulan. She was an exceptionally powerful Chinese woman of her time. She disguised herself as her father to serve the Emperor to fight foreign invaders. Such an act was punishable by death. But Mulan was a unique human being with hopes, aspirations, ambitions, and devotion! She was a true strong person, not an inferior sex object!

So when I keep reading and watching more news of Chinese baby girls being adopted to white American families, I remind myself that the gender bias still lives on strong among tradional Chinese society in mainland China! It disgusts me! Well, at least the only good thing about the adoption is that the Chinese baby girl will be raised to become a unique person equal to boys and men with human rights and dignity! Those Chinese baby girls will actually fare and luck out better than Chinese baby girls remaining with their biological traditional Chinese family back in mainland China.

According to the United States Census Bureau, in the year 2006 there were more than 2.5 million identified single father families within the country, with a ratio of 1 out of every 6 single parents being male. Based on this particular statistic, it is apparent that without regard to the circumstances that led to single fatherhood, such as divorce, death of the mother, or adoption, single father families exist in numbers worthy of consideration in current societal norms. The occurrence of the single-father family is likely to increase, as it has over the past decades, and as such the issue that we must address is how to foster the growth of parental skills in all males without regard to marital status or sexual orientation. By what means can we as a society assist in the development of stronger paternal instincts as the norm, so that a father’s ability to parent is not called into question as a reflex action?

The act of parenting children, from infancy to adulthood, has always been a vital aspect of the continuation of humanity, and yet it is important to note that each culture and time period throughout history has differed in child-rearing philosophies and normal patterns of behavior. “Every period of history has had beliefs about children and how parents should train, discipline and prepare them for good citizenship”  specific to the particular culture. While it is important to recognize the trends of the past in order to comprehend the current standards that are applied to parenting, greater significance must be applied to the consideration of the goals of effective parenting in order to identify positive parenting traits and skills, regardless of the gender of the parent.

Once it is acknowledged that parenting is not a selfish activity that is undertaken for its rewards alone, which include love and affection, the continuation of the family, and the joy of watching one’s children grow to adulthood, it is then necessary to identify goals that are common in order to provide for the development, health, and overall well-being of children. What specific capabilities must a parent develop in order to nurture, guide and care for their child while striving for a healthy and well-adjusted functioning member of society as the final goal in their parenting responsibilities? “Parents have a complex task of guiding a specific child to maturity by using the opportunities provided by the environment, while avoiding its detrimental aspects”. According to Uri Bronbrenner, psychologist, author, and professor at Cornell University whose theory of the ecology of human development remains widely quoted even after his death, “What are the conditions that are basic to a child’s healthy intellectual and moral development? The most important is a special kind of long-term relationship with a person who is deeply attached to the child. Food, shelter and affection are important, but in order to develop–intellectually, socially and morally, a child needs a loving adult with whom to participate in progressively more complex reciprocal activities”. It is important to note that the gender of the person attached to the child, the loving adult, is not specified.

Bronbrenner’s statement that food and shelter are important can be compared to Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, in which basic physiological needs must be met for survival. Each of these vital needs, for air, water, food and sleep, can be provided to an infant or developing child without regard to the gender or relationship of the care provider. Breastfeeding of the newborn and infant is widely recommended as the ideal source of nutrition , and according to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) “breastfeeding ensures the best possible health as well as developmental and psychosocial outcomes for the infant”  However, it is essential to recognize that “A century ago, babies who couldn’t be breast-fed usually didn’t survive. Today, although breast-feeding is still the best nourishment for infants, infant formula is a close enough second that babies not only survive but thrive”. The availability of commercially prepared infant formula, regulated by the Food and Drug Administration, eliminates the only barrier to meeting the physiological needs of the infant child that men, by virtue of biology and their own anatomy, are unable to provide.

In order to evaluate the ability of men to meet all of the remaining basic physiological needs of the developing child, which include air and water, and then expand to include sleep and shelter, and in our society such other needs as bathing, dressing, diapering or toilet training, it is important to note that there is no scientific evidence to indicate that a woman has an innate ability to bathe, diaper, or dress an infant or child. Basic childcare is a learned behavior, and while traditionally women have been socialized from their own childhood to participate in these activities, either through play or through observation of their own families of origin, the male parent certainly has the capability to learn these same behaviors. Considering each of these tasks individually, it is obvious that bathing a child, dressing a child, or even applying a diaper (in spite of television and the media’s effort to portray a man attempting to secure a diaper on a wriggling infant as a comedic event, in which the male lacks the basic manual dexterity to accomplish this task) do not require the female gender. Thus, there is no biological basis to assume that men are by nature less capable of providing physical care to their children.
In consideration of the infant and child’s need for sleep and shelter, two other basic physiological needs, a father is just as capable of rocking an infant to sleep and maintaining a safe household in which to provide shelter as the female parent. Contrary to past media representations of a harried father handing over a crying infant to the mother in order for her to work her soothing maternal magic, infants respond to the scent of the parent and the sound of the parent’s heartbeat when being held. A father who has consistently fulfilled the role of soothing his crying infant will be just as capable of displaying his soothing paternal magic.

For over a century, “experts” have been making parenting advice available to the general public. The actual advice itself may have changed considerably, from the recommendations of the past, but the concept of developing methods of not only involving parents in goals of improved parenting techniques, as well as the sociological studies to support techniques, continue to be more and more available to the average parent. Every public library has shelves devoted to parenting topics, public schools and community centers offer parenting classes, and technological advances such as the internet have made a vast array of parenting resources available to almost every member of society, if not in their own homes, than in libraries where internet access is provided.

“Within psychological studies of parent’s involvement in socialization, there is much literature on the significance of parental methods” . It is the actual methods themselves that have evolved over the years, from the emotionally distant “provider” paternal role of previous generations, to the active, involved and consistent father that many currently aspire to be.
Upon meeting the basic physiological needs of the child, the involved parent, either male or female, then continues to build upon their repertoire of parenting skills in order to learn new skills and techniques, as the infant progresses to toddler, then child, and then adolescence. As each stage of childhood brings new developmental behaviors, so must the parent develop new methods and means to cope with those behaviors, and to continue to foster and encourage the emotional growth and development of the child.

“Popular theories on parenting change, and attitudes and parenting philosophy continue to evolve” ).
Having achieved the ability to meet the basic fundamental needs for physical well being of the child, the active parent and the observer must then consider the next level of human need, that of safety and security. “Once those two types of needs are satisfied, belongingness and love needs are the next to take precedence.”. It is at this point that the question concerning a man’s ability to nurture comes into play. “Despite lingering conventions, basic nurturing and tuning into your children’s needs is not a woman thing, but human”. Again, the ability to provide nurturing and emotional support, safety and security is not isolated to the female gender. A father, if not already socialized to do so within his own family of origin and by observing other positive male role models who succeed in both traditional and non-traditional roles, can augment his learned behaviors of the past by applying the same practices of learning any other new skill. Additionally, as our culture continues to redefine what it means to be a parent, what it means to be a man, and all other gender based stereotypes, the shift to a new cultural norm will continue to affect change within the next generations of males.

In short, it is “the characteristics of the father as a parent rather than as a man that are most likely to influence child development”. It is not the gender of the parent, but the quality of the parenting actions and role that have the greatest impact on the health and emotional well-being, and development of the child. To identify positive parenting actions and roles, we must again look at the desired outcome of effective parenting, and the means by which this occurs. Additionally, we much examine the methods by which these skills are learned, and incorporate that learning into the cultural socialization of boys and young men, in order to incorporate active and involved fatherhood as a gender norm, rather than a rarity.

“A father’s role is increasingly multifaceted. He is, ideally, a breadwinner, a coach, a moral guide, a source of love and inspiration” . Lamb further states that he has observed significant changes in the involvement of fathers in parenting over the past several decades. This statement is not in any way meant to disparage the role of the mother, but it does enhance the notion that an active father is more than a financial source of support for a developing child. Lamb may have failed to adequately address the true multifaceted nature of the father in the 21st century, as it is becoming more common for the father’s role to include not just a source of love and inspiration, but for the father to be the packer of the school lunchbox, the bedtime story reader, the accompanying adult for all health care appointments and more. Today’s father may earn the money to support the family, supervise homework while cooking dinner, and arrange play dates for his children. It is becoming more common for a father to not only attend and cheer at youth sporting events, but to follow through with doing the laundry to remove the grass stains from the baseball uniform.

In a study to evaluate sex roles and parenting involvement completed at Penn State University, results indicated that “men’s sense of competency and the degree to which they indicate a desire to become involved in child care- measured prior to when they become fathers- are quite good predictors of what they actually do with their children” . This indicates that it is motivation, and not in-born genetic predisposition, that has a greater influence on men and their parenting practices. Parental competence has been defined in the terms of both sensitivity and involvement, so that “the parent must be sensitive to the child’s needs in developmentally appropriate ways, but this sensitivity must be put into action if the caregiver is to be considered competent”.

Clearly motivation and the desire or intent to be a good parent are not enough, the father must follow through with determined actions. Bradford and Hawkins also state that “the notion of father competence comprises affective, behavioral and cognitive aspects of fathering” and that past positive experiences of intimate and supportive relationships have an impact on an individual’s ability to commit to any relationship, including that of a caregiver or father. This suggests that while an intimate relationship such as that with a female spouse has failed, a past experience with a nurturing and supportive father or other parent of one’s own may certainly increase one’s ability and expectations about maintaining an active role in fatherhood.
Parenting goals should be established for much the same reason that a successful business measures the quality of its services by evaluating outcomes. It is important to “Identify your long-range parenting goals and act accordingly”. This is not to suggest that parenting is a business, or an occupation, but rather that the principles of quality improvement that have propelled industry and healthcare forward can also be applied to parenting techniques and skills. Frequent self-evaluation of not only the child’s progress towards developmental goals, but also the parent’s satisfaction with his accomplishments in dealing with the challenges of parenting, can encourage the continued growth and strive for excellence that we see in the corporate world.

With this statement in mind, it is possible to consider that the occurrence of divorce in our society need not be an preordained death toll for the family, but rather may allow for the development of other non-traditional family units such as are indicated in the 2006 United States Census reports. In order to achieve true gender equity between males and females, as women seek positions outside the realm of previous “acceptable” roles, it is imperative that they also acknowledge that the same gender stereotypes that may have held them back in the past have had an impact on their male counterparts as well, and that the role of the man has been restricted based upon preconceived notions of what men and women can and cannot do.
In conclusion, while past trends in culture and society may have relegated the father to the role of distant observer and financial supporter, more and more families today function under the guidance of just one parent, and that one parent is increasingly male. Personal choice to enhance one’s role and parenting skills, motivation, and an increased emotional connection to the child or children can be a continuous circle, in which the father develops a closer bond, and thus develops and more active role, which then further cements the bond of the parent/child relationship. Gender of both parent and child certainly play a part in the communication and interaction between parent and child, but there is no true basis to the misconception that mothers have maternal instincts and abilities that fathers are incapable of developing.

Its ok to golf without asking the female executives to join the team.

Golf for men is quite different than golf for women. The sport doesn’t lend itself well to mixed doubles. The trick for businessmen is to spend as much business time with the female C-level women as C-level men. DO NOT make decisions based on the discussions at the sand trap on 17. It’s important that business discussions be made at the business, with equal input opportunities by all members of the executive team.

It’s ok to travel on the same plane and not sit next to each other.

No one likes the middle seat. Unless your firm has a private jet, many C-level executives will be traveling together, men and women and facing the seating dilemma. The requirement to work together on the flight leads to the woman executive stuck in the center seat. (Guys usually like the aisle or the window). This makes the trip awkward at best. Why not freestyle the flight? Make sure its comfortable for both the female and male members of your executive team. They can sit wherever they like and use the flight to re-energize rather than verbalize.

Its ok to discuss Sunday’s football game on Monday, even if the company’s female COO hates football!

Some women love football, many do not. When a female C-level executive actually has a Sunday where she is not working, most are happy to spend quality family time at home, with their husband and children. Some even enjoy cooking Sunday dinner. They are probably not focused on the play by play in the 2nd half, Giants vs. Dallas. When Monday morning quarterbacking takes place in the executive meeting, you can expect the female executives to be cordial. They won’t complain about the male bonding IF they are getting a fair shake at the business strategy decision making. If the playing field is set as fair, then who cares what their male counterparts talk about outside of business issues!

The executive lunch: Wouldn’t it be nice to have lunch with a colleague without worrying about their gender?

The business lunch works between a man and a woman C-level executive under certain specific guidelines:

1. Not more than one lunch per week. More often and the walls start talking.
2. If you eat lunch at restaurant “A” with the male C-level executives, then the same restaurant “A” should be where you lunch with the female C-level executives.
3. Always sit at a table and not a booth. Sit across from your lunch companion, never next to each other. This allows for the best business discourse and prevents anyone from thinking you are more than a business couple, because you sit elbow to elbow.

So you see, as long as you level the playing field on business issues, women worth their salt in business will never be insulted or affected by the male bonding which takes place in and out of the office. After all, if you can keep business decisions in the boardroom and out of the men’s room, who can complain?