They look nice, maybe useful even, but who needs them in February?  Well, it did not take me too long to admit that one of those people is me. I quickly got one from the shelf and headed for the counter, not even waiting for my wife who was busy checking her list for groceries.

Of course there are plenty of softwares and templates for diary planners available online and I have been using one for my work. They can be very convenient to use and by keyword search you can recover all the data the managing director wants on any transaction if you use them religiously.  However, something in me still want to have a diary planner  filled up in paper rather than behind the computer screen.

Looking at the new planner, I feel a bit of excitement at rediscovering the pleasure of having a written diary planner. I imagine waking up in another year and then looking at a religiously filled planner  with pages yellowing with time. In it, written would be goals, plans, hopes, worries and anticipations of the future that will have already  passed. Perhaps, I will have a clear accounting of all memories pleasant and otherwise. Perhaps, I will have a better perspective of what went well and what did not based on the goals, what was done day in and day out leading to the deadline.  Perhaps, with the contents of the planner, I can reevaluate the skill sets necessary to take things further, to get over the hump.

“Twenty dirhams”, I heard the cashier say. I was awakened from the trance and handed her the exact notes. At the same time, I realized that I was in that sort of trance for many years in my life—–daydreaming, recalling, romanticizing until somebody calls you out for something that has already become urgent. And that could not happen if you use a diary planner well. For, more than anything, a well-filled diary planner is a written testament to one’s discipline, one’s commitment to see any goal through, to keep with the present. Romanticizing about the passage of time could come later.

Ah, resolutions. Those potentially nasty, forgotten by February, promises you make to yourself, your life and the world to be a better person and this world a better place. We always start off just like the New Year, full of promise, full of hope and eager to make some changes. We have the best intentions but then life catches up with us or we find we’ve inadvertently bitten off more than we could chew and now we drop our resolutions like a stick of butter, whoops! Well here are some sure fire steps to help keep you motivated to do whatever your resolution may be and how to drop the ones that aren’t worth keeping, guilt free. 

First things first: Write down your goals and be reasonable. Most of us start off so motivated and filled with the promise of a new year that we over-promise ourselves. We simply stretch ourselves too thin. So, if your goal is to lose weight, become a better parent/mate/child/employee and to save money, start by writing those three things down. Keep this list somewhere that you can look on it often to remind you of what your goals are and the reasons why.  Remember: there are only 24 hours in every day, 7 days in a week and 365 days in a year. No exceptions and no pause buttons. So if you find that after you write down your goals that you have a list down to the ground, maybe it’s time to cut yourself some slack, and your list down a few items.

Next: Give yourself a reasonable time line. In our society where everything is meant to be fast and/or instant, sometimes it’s hard for us to understand that not everything happens that quickly. If your goal is to lose 100 pounds, or 50 or even 25, set yourself a realistic time line. Even under the best diet and exercise plan, you cannot expect to lose a significant amount of weight overnight, or even within a month. Most physicians will recommend a one pound weight loss per week. Sometimes two under stricter programs. If we gave ourself the one pound rule, that’s four pounds a month and 52 pounds in a year. To some people that may seem too long. Almost two years to lose 100 pounds?! But that’s not only realistic, it’s doable. If your goal is to brush your teeth every day, give yourself time to make that a habit and don’t expect it to be second nature within the first week. Change takes time. 

Finally: Take baby steps. When taking on a big project at work or in the home, it is highly advantageous to break things down into small, easy to accomplish steps. If your goal is to organize your home, start off with your time line. If you want it done within a month, use this step to break it down further. Do the kitchen first, then the living room, then the kid’s room, then yours and finally, that pesky garage. After you have your initial game plan, feel free to break that down further. Give yourself so many days to do the kitchen, with set tasks to be accomplished daily. For example: Monday- Wipe down all cabinets inside and out and counter-tops. Tuesday- Clean out the refrigerator, including the coils and condense all recipes. Wednesday- Deep clean the oven and mop the floors. Thursday- Relax. Friday: Start the living room. By taking these smaller and simpler steps toward your goal, you are helping yourself avoid becoming overwhelmed and leaving a project half done or poorly done and having to return to it later. Do it right the first time and you will be happy with the results.

The best resolutions are the ones you achieve so make this the year that you give yourself reasonable resolutions. Make them your own. If you’re a visual person, set yourself up with visual cues that you are on track. Every day that you work out, brush your teeth, say your prayers, volunteer or stay on your diet, give yourself a smiley face sticker. If you’re a person who has to see results immediately, make your baby steps a check list. As you finish each small task, check it off. Seeing those tally marks add up and that to-do list get shorter and shorter just might be the drive you need to see this resolution through.

As a final thought, if you are following these steps and find that life keeps throwing you curve ball after curve ball and you are unable or unwilling to continue, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes, things just can’t get done in the time frame we would like them too. Remember that you can’t control every situation and sometimes you just need to let things go. Don’t sacrifice time with your loved ones, quality time taking care of yourself and important events for the sake of a resolution.  So chin up, deep breath, make those lists, set your time frame and take those baby steps. If all else fails, there’s always next year. 

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that’s being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic.

On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort!

So how confident do you seem to others?

Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself and people around you?

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or 5-minute solution.

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we’ll use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:

Look at what you’ve already achieved:

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you’ve achieved in an “Achievement Log.” Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Think about your strengths:

Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis (explore personal SWOT Analysis here) to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.

Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think about what’s important to you, and where you want to go:

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our article on goal setting to find out how to use this important technique, or use our Life Plan Workbook to think through your own goals in detail (see “Tip” below).

Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. A tip: Make sure it’s a very small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!

Start managing your mind:

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence. See our article on rational positive thinking to find out how to do this.

Further useful reading includes our article on imagery – this teaches you how to use and create strong mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals – there’s something about doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

And then commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the risks you face, read our Risk Analysis and Management article.

Either way, make that promise!

Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

So How Self Confident Are You? Take our short quiz to find out how self-confident you are already, and start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.

Change can be scary.  But you’re in charge and here are 3 easy steps to transform things from the way they are to the way the way you really want them.

Step 1.  Visualisation.

Enjoy getting creative by examining what you’d like to have in your life.  Creativity engages the part of the brain that involves wishful thinking and play so have fun with this.  If you could design your life on the piece of paper in front of you, how would you spend your time, how would your health be, who would share your life, what roles would you play?  Add your own ideas to this list of questions and answer them.

• Now add some colour to the list or mind map.  Find pictures of friends and family that are relevant to your plan; go to a search engine image search and look for pictures that are meaningful to you and resonate with the ideas you’ve had.  Print these and add them to your list or mind map.
• When you’ve completed this task, step back for a moment and look at it.  Think about each item and consider how important it is – rate it on a scale of 1-10 because when you realise how important something is you’ll put a lot of energy into it.
• Lastly for this step, think forward in time.  How will you feel when you’ve achieved some of the things on your list?  How will you feel if you don’t try?

Step 2.  Make a plan.

Now you know which of your ideas/goals/images are the most important, it’s time to make a plan to help you achieve it.  Change can be scary so if you’re a nurse but long to become a farmer, how do make that leap? 

SMART is a great acronym in goal setting and stands for Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic and Timed.

Break your plan into bite-sized chunks and ask yourself “What do I need to do to get to where I want to be?”  Write down all the tasks you could possibly need to do and then schedule them into a 90 day timeframe where the 90 days are set into weekly sections.  This gives you 3 months of focused activity that will take you nearer your goal. 

Successful business people use this process all the time.

Step 3.  Making it happen.

Planning is easy.  Anyone can do it.  Action needs courage, energy and conviction. Remember how you will feel if you fail to achieve these goals – the ones you’ve chosen to go for and will regret not reaching.  Anticipate the feeling of reaching them and how much better life will be.

If you need someone to keep you on track for this then find a coach who will help.  Show her your 90 day plan and meet regularly to review what you’ve done and what you’ve learned.  If you have a friend who won’t be soft on you then ask her to be your coach!

Step 3.  Rewarding yourself.

The final step in the 90 day plan is to build in some rewards.  Nobody’s perfect so don’t berate yourself if you don’t achieve everything on your plan. 

Congratulate yourself for achieving 70%, 80%, 90% and 100% of your tasks on the way to your goals.  Each level of reward will be greater than the one below.  So maybe a meal at your favourite restaurant for getting 70%, half day at a health spa for 80%, a full day with a friend for 90% and a weekend away for 100%. It’s your plan.

Goal setting isn’t brain surgery or rocket science and there’s a lot of advice on getting it right.  But it takes guts, energy and motivation to see the plan through to fruition.  Only you can change your life.  What will you do?

The first thing you should do is look from the top.  What do you imagine yourself accomplishing after a certain number of years?  What things do you want to have?  What do you intend to do with the rest of your life?  Look at the finish line and see what you find there.  It is important to know what things truly matter to you, and it may help if you made up a list and arrange these things in chronological order in order to see what things have more weight than all the others.

Goal Setting Strategy #2:  Define Smaller Goals

Normally the end goal or the long-term goal would take much time to accomplish.  In order to make the journey more enjoyable, set little goals along the way.  If, for instance, you intend to become a celebrity in five years, then you could set up smaller goals like win a talent show or join a contest or meet an agent.  Make sure that the things that you do all lead to the smaller goals, and that all the smaller goals lead to the end goal.

Goal Setting Strategy #3:  Define Daily Goals

Setting goals on a day-to-day basis is a way of breaking down a big job into several smaller and simpler tasks.  Creating a daily schedule is one of the more enjoyable goal setting strategies.  If the smaller goal, say, win a talent show, is to be achieved within a month, then make sure that every day that comes prior to that month is geared towards achieving that goal.  You could keep reading about strategies to win the audience, how to overcome stage fright, how to boost your confidence, etc.  You could even meet with some friends and share ideas.  Support systems are very important in the accomplishment of goals, so make sure you have people close to you who will be ready to back you up whatever the circumstance.

Want to earn real money online? Write for Triond.

1. ‘Roof’ says aim high. Ambition or goal-setting (short, medium & long) is essential. This aim should be consistent with our abilities and interests. Goal gives guidance and direction.

2. ‘Door’ says push hard to achieve your goal. Nothing can replace hard work. All hard work is beneficial.

3. ‘Calendar’ says be updated. In all spheres of life we want the latest or brand new. Of course it has to be proved. Being not up-to-the-minute may cost you dearly, be it business or work or relationship.

4.’Clock’ says every minute is precious. Time flies. Managing time effectively itself is a great achievement.

5.’Fan’ says be cool. Patient is an attribute of most great achievers. While others have given up, they stick on to the end thereby making the difference.

6.’Mirror’ says reflect before you act. We are bestowed with the capacity to think. Don’t act in haste to repent later. In crucial matters, think carefully before you say or do anything. Once utter or done, it is beyond your control and damaged, if any, will already occur.

7. ‘Window’ says see the world. Broad outlook should be cultivated. We should come out from our self-imposed boundary and look beyond the conventional and connect with the world. Think globally and act locally.

8. ‘Bed’ says take rest. We are not machines, we need leisure. Break from routine work reinvigorate us and enhances our thinking power and performance.

9. ‘Cooking Gas’ says strike while it is hot. Everything has its own time and is at its best. Don’t miss the opportune time; it may never be the same again. When you regret later, it may be too late.

10.’Wall’ says stand firm. Strong determination is one of the foundations of success. Don’t weavers like a sea waves. Take time to decide your choice but once chosen stick to it and do your best for its accomplishment.

11.’ Cloth hanger’ says hold on. Like his brother ‘wall’ hanger enjoins us to hang on till the end. Many a time success is eluded because it was not brought to its duly logical conclusion.

12. ‘Broom’ says be cleaned. Honesty is a great virtue. We need to get rid of corruption in our daily life. Let it begin with you-your life and your family. Not tomorrow or today but NOW.

13. ‘Light / Electric power’ says shine among your fellow beings. Example is the best teaching. Let your life be an example to the people around you.

Thirteen to most of the people is unlucky number. But I do hope the above 13 cues will make all the difference for the better in your life.

Here are some suggestions that you may consider in order to define your goals and to focus your energies on achieving them.

1. Know what really matters to you.

For some people, it is often financial security that is at the top of their list, whenever they are asked what can make this happy. However, there are many people who also consider family harmony and inner peace as their primary goals in life. Ask yourself what can really bring you happiness and focus on ways to achieve what matters to you the most.

2. Identify your short and long term goals.

Once you realized the things that are most important to you, you may get overwhelmed by the number of things that you have to do in order to attain your goals. Do not try to do too many things at the same time. Instead divide your goals into short and long term goals and write down your plan on how you can achieve each one of them. Make a list of the tasks that need to be done to realize each goal. Work on those that are manageable, and plan on doing those that require more time, knowledge or skill.

3. Write a daily do-list.

This helps you focus on the tasks that need to be accomplished on a daily basis. At the same time, you should also include some tasks that you can do which can lead you to achieving your long term goals. Remember to spend some time before your sleep to create your do list so that your schedule will be better arranged the next day.

4. Observe the hindrances to your success.

If you are seeking for a raise, analyze what is keeping you from asking your boss from it. Is it a low self-esteem or lack of confidence that is stopping you from asking for what you deserve? Then work on reinforcing a better image of yourself that will give you the confidence you need. If you feel you deserve a better job, yet you don’t think you are qualified for it, take some lessons to improve your knowledge and skills.

5. Evaluate your progress.

Spend a few minutes everyday to review your progress and check on areas where you can improve. Remember not to be neither too hard nor too easy on yourself, but instead be honest and decide on how you can improve your performance that can lead you to achieving your goals.

Try to focus on things that really matter to you. Engage the help of family and friends to get you focus and assist you in evaluating your progress. Take some time to have fun and do not be too hard on yourself if you experience delays. Most of all, learn to be grateful for tasks that you have accomplished and give yourself the credit that you deserve.

Megan writes for ScribersUnlimited, which has been assisting online marketers with their article marketing needs through relevant, compelling and keyword-rich articles for various niches.

Interestingly enough they forget to tell you about what action steps they had to put into practice to help the goals become a realization.

To understand better is to think about how you can write a journal full of dreams, aspirations and goals you want to reach.

Every year you can write more and more and more. The key to making these thoughts real is to have a action plan.

So to start to be able to set goals you must also be ready to put in some hard work.

Just as the actor or actress wants to be famous or in blockbuster movies. To make their dream come true they will need to take acting lessons, practice their craft and audition for parts.

The first rule of setting goals is to make a list of things you can do to help you get closer to your goal.

Second you will want to make a list of short term and long term goals.

The most powerful thing you can do when setting goals is to write them down on a piece of paper and look at them each day.

It is easy to get distracted and we forget what we are working towards sometimes. Do not let this happen to you, stay up on your goals progress.

Another reason why you will want to look at your list of goals on a daily and weekly basis is that it will help you see ones that you have already achieved to keep you motivated for the next ones.

It also will keep you active in your tasks. Ask yourself “what can I do today that will help me get closer to my goal?”

The more things you do to make your thoughts a reality the easier it will be to stay enthusiastic and inspired.

Avoid getting disappointed or discouraged while going through the journey to your destination.

Have a support system in place that will help you stay positive about your activites. A strong support of friends, family and colleague.

Belief is another trait that is hard to have sometimes, but we must believe in ourselves and our abilities to meet the goal we set out for.

Do you strongly have faith in your ability? This is going to be the most powerful thing you can have is your own confidence for your own success.

Interestingly when it comes to values it can be defined as broad preferences concerning appropriate courses of action or outcomes.

As in the case of reflecting a person’s sense of right and wrong or what “ought” to be. Values tend to influence attitudes and behavior.

Determine what is important to you in your life and then base everything else around that system. Many successful people will tell you that they are visionaries they can see where they want to be and how they will get there.

The strength is being solid and resolute is a skill that takes some serious consideration. The reason you will become what you set out to be is because you are unwavering in your decision.

Those who stick to a plan and see it through seem to find that they are able to have a fulfilled life of accomplishments.

Being easily distracted and following everything that comes are way is a recipe for disaster. We need to be grounded and be able to avoid losing focus.

This can happen without us realizing it because people will come to us with some great business ideas,

or they will state that they really want to help us reach our goals, but in the end they just distract and pull us away from what we had originally wanted to do.

A tip to help in such a situation is to write down your values, these are different than goals or action steps. What is important to you? What do you believe in? What matters most? How do you want to contribute to the world?

The reason this step is so powerful is because no matter what someone tells you or does if the end result of what they are offering is not inline with your true core values.

Then you can be confidient that it is best to pass on their offer.

Dream big and do not be dissuaded you will be glad you did and then be able to be truly successful in any endeavor you seek.

Image by kevindooley via Flickr

Passing the Bar

“We made a decision…”

Making a decision to turn our will and life over to the care of God as we understand God is like deciding to become a lawyer in high school.

Dave was experiencing the normal stages of adolescents. He was confused. This condition brought him nothing but trouble. He felt insecure, had problems concentrating and was developing a fear of the future. He regularly wondered how he could go on like this.

“Am I doomed to a life of misery?” he would ask himself.

One day while sitting in Civics Class, a lucid cloud descended on Dave. All of a sudden he had the inspiration that if he became a lawyer his life would be wonderful. He could see himself helping people, driving a nice car and living in a big house. Right then and there, at the tender age of sixteen, Dave decided to be a lawyer!

When Dave woke up the next day, was he a lawyer? Of course not! He hadn’t finished High School yet.

Dave however did begin to prepare. He worked harder at his studies. He tuned his brain to remember details, he learned how to do research and he talked about becoming a lawyer. Dave made his intentions clear. He took steps in the direction he had chosen.

Dave’s hard work paid off. He was accepted in one of the countries finest law schools. He continued to apply himself. He found a part time job as a clerk in a local firm. He received quite a bit of support from those partners; one in particular.

All were very eager to help and gave him many fine tips about how to fine tune his research and studies.

Dave was beginning to feel like a lawyer.

Dave was a very good student. He wasn’t necessarily the brightest in his class, but his spirit was willing.

Finally, Dave graduated. His family was so proud of him and he was very excited. All he had to do now was pass the bar and he would be a lawyer.

It’s not uncommon. Like many, Dave didn’t pass the bar on his first attempt.

Did he have to go back and start all over again? Did he have to retake the last four years of school?

No!

Dave had made his decision a long time ago. He had taken the action required to accomplish his goal. What Dave had to do was review the exam in his head and figure out where he had made his mistakes.

All Dave had to do was retake the exam, correct the mistakes and pass the bar.

It took Dave six attempts to pass the bar.

When he finally had that certificate in his hand, he felt like a million bucks. He put on this best suite and went down to the law firm that had supported him through school. He burst through the door and with exuberant enthusiasm held up his diploma and license boldly declaring, “Look, I’m a lawyer!!”

Most of the staff applauded, slapped him on the back and shook his hand.

Dave was ecstatic.

Then Dave noticed that one senior partner was solemnly sitting there watching the raucous celebration. This man had really help Dave reach this day more than any of the others. Ben was Dave’s hero, his mentor, his inspiration. Dave was quickly brought down to earth by Ben’s somber mood.

“Ben, you look so serious. Aren’t you happy for me? Look, I’m a lawyer now, just like you!”

Ben sorta smiled a bit and looked up over his bifocals.

“Really?” he said. “How many clients do you have? How many people have you helped?

Dave realized the truth if what Ben was asking. He was in awe.

Then Ben stood up and embraced Dave. He gave him a big hug and a little kiss on the cheek.

“You’ve done very well, Dave! You’re ready to start now. Welcome to the firm!”

With Ben’s help and the support of the firm, Dave went on to become a fine lawyer. He helped a lot of people; he got that shinny new car and his big house on the hill.

Dave never regretted his decision to pursue the law. Well, almost never. As an honest man, he would admit that there were occasionally days that he’d rather have stayed in bed, but those feelings always passed.

He told me that when he had those moments he would think back to his school years. He said that he had worked too hard to get to where he was and that he wasn’t going to let a little bad weather affect his parade.

He remained grateful that he had made his decision so long ago and he had no regrets that he had worked so hard in school. These days he actually jokes about how much trouble he had passing the bar and about how naive he was that day he rushed into the office with his prize.