How often do we say the infamous words, “I want to be successful”? It’s interesting, when you ask a child the question of “what do you want to do when you grow up? You get a straight out answer. An astronaut, a fire fighter, a hairdresser, a race car driver… you never get, I want to be successful. Somewhere along the line we lose the creativity of our younger selves and throw our future dreams and visions into the too hard define basket, labelled “Successful”. Then we seem to wander on this path with no guidance or end in sight searching for the holy secret. So what is success? What does it look like? What does it feel like, does it have a smell? A touch? A taste?… Many of us think it is plain silly to think success can have a smell. However, when you think about it, a successful baker would know the smell of a perfectly baked loaf of bread just like a successful florist would know the smell of a perfectly ripened flower. So it’s fair to say that this so called “success” does take the form of many meanings, appearances, tastes, smells and so on, you get the point. The BIG question is though, is there a secret to success?

After reading the books, studying the video’s, meeting the people and endless searching down that very hazy path, it has become clear that there isn’t one. That’s right… there is NO secret to success. Without disappointing all the people out there furiously hunting, do not fear. There may be no secret but there is a formula. After studying, meeting and listening to the likes of Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, Tony Robbins, Robert Kyiosaki, and even the ruthless Donald Trump who have all achieved their own version of success and voiced their stories for us to hear, it has become so clear. When they share their stories and the strategies they believe to be responsible for their own success, they are all saying the exact same things, just in their own language. You have Tony Robbins who talks about the importance of your Strategy  and your Peak State. Robert Kyiosaki believes in the power of the wealth creation matrix, which is all about structure making choices. The late Steve Jobs kept it simple with his aim for the stars philosophy which as changed the very world we live in. And we can’t forget Richard Branson’s who’s “screw it, lets do it” attitude and a sense of fun and passion has taken Virgin to over 400 companies of which at least 7 have become Billion dollar successes.

So when you combine all of these strategies, philosophies and key characteristics, you get a flow of elements for success, your very own formula for success, which looks like this:

Know Your Story & What You Believe

We all have different paths, experiences, goals and visions and we all have ways of expressing these. Knowing your story is all about creating clarity around what it is that you stand for. In the relatively short period of time you have on the planet, what is it that you want to:

-          Focus your energy and attention on

-          Create your core values around: Richard Branson’s core values are to experience new things, create new opportunities, break the barriers of impossible and have fun doing it.

-          Be known and remembered for after you are gone: Steve Jobs stated he wanted to put a dent in the universe through challenging the status quo. He will be long remembered for creating and inspiring a revolution in consumer technology.

Actor Will Smith summed it up nicely in an interview some years ago when he said “its easy, it’s knowing what you believe in to the core and knowing that you are will to die for that belief!” This may be considered a little extreme but it’s the passion that burns within.

So what is your story? You need to identify:

-          What you stand for and believe in

-          What you will die for to achieve

-          What your core values are that you live by and will vow never to break

-          What your world looks like around the future you

Create Your Map

Just as when you are off in your car for a road trip to an exotic location you haven’t visited before, you need a map to get there. Your map needs to include some key things:

Goals

Your goals are a descriptive measure of what you aim to achieve. Your goals should follow the SMART principle, which means they need to be

Specific in definition

Measurable in size, time, $

Attainable but still audaciousness

Realistic as to the effort you need to put in to achieve the goals

Timely completion target wrapped around every goal set.

Checkpoints & Look-outs

When you go on a roadtrip, you need to ensure you have checkpoints on your map where you can stop, take a minute to rest and reflect on where you have just come from. This is no different with setting your goals map, you need to incorporate checkpoints where you re-evaluate your position and your goals set and also reflect on what you have achieved along the way.

Rewards

You mustn’t forget to reward yourself for making progress along the way. Often, we set ourselves huge goals and never really see any reward until the goal is achieved or worse, not at all because the hope and motivation is lost to achieve it. Progress rewards are critical and should be mapped. Don’t feel guilty for rewarding yourself early, you will get to the big reward  through your dedication and hard work soon enough.

Taking Action

You can be as smart as Bill Gates, as enthusiastic as Richard Branson, as cunning as Donald Trump or as inspiring as Steve Jobs BUT until you take ACTION on your goals and your map, you will not go anywhere. Action is driven by emotion which is energy in motion. The more positive energy you exert on actioning your goals, the more motion FORWARD you will achieve. You can make the decision to set goals and create your story but you will never achieve your success without the action.

Accountability

So many people create their stories, map their goals and then begin to take action but then something happens and the flame dies. Time goes on, road blocks appear, too many opportunities/distractions arise and the motive to action dies.

You need to hold yourself accountable to someone or something other than yourself. This person/s needs to be someone who is willing to energise you, motivate you and be stern with you when the time calls for it. Someone who could fall into this category is a mentor. However a mentor should be more about providing guidance, knowledge and passing down lessons they have learned from their own experience. It is important that you distinguish with your mentor whether they are happy to take on the role of keeping you accountable, otherwise keep this relationship separate. Be sure to give back as much as you receive with your accountability partner as they are more than likely looking to you to keep them accountable to their own goals just the same.

Know who your Community is

There is a great guy by the name of Seth Godin who has done quite a few talks on TED.com and he emphasizes the need and importance of creating and belonging to Communities. Communities in Simon Sinek’s eyes is a group of like minded people with a set of common values and beliefs. So, on the path to success it is important to be mindful of who your community is. Who are the people you are hanging around, surrounding yourself with? We all know that we have some people around us are energy suckers and haven’t a positive bone in their body. The question you need to ask is, do these people care about me and are they providing benefit and value to what I am all about? do they believe what I believe? Find your Community and surround yourself with people who believe what you believe.

 Just go out and do it!

If you follow these elements, you will undoubtedly achieve your version of success. What does this look like? Only you will know. Will it change along the way? Probably, however if you have fulfilled each of the Success Elements, it shouldn’t deviate too far at all. You are the creator of your own success, just you. It is your choice, but the path is there to follow and it is clear enough and strong enough to lead you to wherever it is you want to end up. So, screw it, just go and do it!

Getting into Goals a bit deeper 

I am back, needed to take a few days off and I thank you all for your kind words regarding the third birthday/anniversary of Make ME Smile Online.  Much thanks and smiles sent your way.

So only 11 days left in March and the next few days we will get into a little more talk about the goals and goal setting and management of stated specific goals.

Very important to understand that all goals must have a clear and specific path not all goals are successful right away.  But all goals should be clear and defined each step of the way.  Without a clear path and direction it is very hard to get from point A to point Z the final completed step.

Objectives are a way to clearly mark your path.

It is one thing to say I want to go to take a cruise and enjoy my vacation, however if you want to make this goal and objective you could reword that goal.

Rework it to say I want to take a cruise next October and I want to get three prices and choose either the Florida Keys or Bermuda.  The point of my vacation is to enjoy time with my family and make memories that will last as well as much needed rest and relaxation.

So now with that specifically defined goal you can now drill down to specific tasks like research, cost expectations, available weeks and time etc etc.

Objectives are more narrow and specific and goals tend to be broad and may be vague in the beginning.

We will define this more Tuesday but for tonight understand that goals will help you improve but objectives will help you get there quicker.

Just some thoughts and as always smiles sent to you this day and everyday.

New Affirmation for the Month of March ….. Use it daily and feel the change in you.

I walk with confidence and understanding towards success.  Born into a perfected state I strive to achieve my intended purpose, to love, to share and care for self and for others that come in contact with me.  I choose to be happy and share laughter.  Making a difference in another persons life for the better gives positive and ever flowing energy into my world.  I am focusing on my goals, the this moment goal, this day, my weekly goals and monthly goals I achieve because of my spirit and focus.  

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Quote of the Day 

The majority see the obstacles; the few see the objectives; history records the successes of the latter, while oblivion is the reward of the former.

: 0 ) Alfred A. Montapert

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Today in History (on this date)

1918 – The U.S. Congress establishes time zones and approves daylight saving time.

1931 – Gambling is legalized in Nevada.

1941 – World War II: The 99th Pursuit Squadron also known as the Tuskegee Airmen, the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corp, is activated.

1943 – Frank Nitti, the Chicago Outfit Boss after Al Capone, commits suicide at the Chicago Central Railyard.

1954 – Joey Giardello knocks out Willie Tory in round seven at Madison Square Garden in the first televised prize boxing fight shown in colour.

1954 – Willie Mosconi sets a world record by running 526 consecutive balls without a miss during a straight pool exhibition at East High Billiard Club in Springfield, Ohio. The record still stands today.

1966 – Texas Western becomes the first college basketball team to win the Final Four with an all-black starting lineup.

1979 – The United States House of Representatives begins broadcasting its day-to-day business via the cable television network C-SPAN.

1987 – Televangelist Jim Bakker resigns as head of the PTL Club due to a brewing sex scandal; he hands over control to Jerry Falwell.

2003 – United States President George W. Bush orders the start of war against Iraq.

2008 – GRB 080319B: A cosmic burst that is the farthest object visible to the naked eye is briefly observed.

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Fun Links to have

Daily Countdown to Spring 

Sound Cloud 

A cool Time piece for the web

Next Full Moon 

More to come … Enjoy : ) 

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Daily Prayer for March

Thank you for another day in the world you created.

May my spirit inspire, inflate and bring joy and peace to another.

May I always speak my gratitude into the world and share my appreciation.

Guide me today to be wiser, more kind, help me to see deeper into this hurting world and perhaps give a bit of kindness to it.

May I always appreciate the nature that surrounds me.

The wind, the sunshine and the plants and trees that surround me.

Help me to understand that the energy around me is both helpful and strengthening.

In your word I seek peace and solace.

Thank you for another day.

Amen

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Sharing a smile ~  Sending you love ~  Pass it on

: )

brought to you by Make ME Smile Online

written by Victor Yakin copyright protected 2011* 2012

Relevant for Now and your Future

It has been said more than once that dreams are goals with deadlines.  The relevant goals will help us to maintain our dreams that are in alignment with our values and beliefs.  Understanding what we want now and in our future will help our goals remain relevant.

Define the word relevant: 

Adjective:  

Closely connected or appropriate to the matter at hand

So what is the matter at hand for you.  Which six human needs are you lacking in.  Just a quick recap on the six human needs and a resource for you to read to dig in more.

1. Certainty/Comfort.

2. Variety. 

3. Significance. 

4. Connection/Love.

5. Growth.

6. Contribution. 

The link to a good explanation is found here.  

May this understanding help you to define what is relevant at hand. 

Relevant goals will help to shape our future, our dreams, our needs and even the direction we head towards.

So make sure the relevance is at hand when you put pen to paper and heart to intention.

Just some thoughts and as always smiles sent to you this day and everyday.

New Affirmation for the Month of March ….. Use it daily and feel the change in you.

I walk with confidence and understanding towards success.  Born into a perfected state I strive to achieve my intended purpose, to love, to share and care for self and for others that come in contact with me.  I choose to be happy and share laughter.  Making a difference in another persons life for the better gives positive and ever flowing energy into my world.  I am focusing on my goals, the this moment goal, this day, my weekly goals and monthly goals I achieve because of my spirit and focus.  

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Quote of the Day 

There are only two ways to live your life.

One is as though nothing is a miracle.

The other is as though everything is a miracle.

: o )  Albert Einstein

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Today in History (on this date)

1493 – Christopher Columbus returns to Spain after his first trip to the Americas.

1820 – Maine becomes the 23rd U.S. state.

1906 – Rolls-Royce Limited is incorporated.

1916 – President Woodrow Wilson sends 4,800 United States troops over the U.S.-Mexico border to pursue Pancho Villa.

1956 – My Fair Lady premiered on Broadway at the Mark Hellinger Theatre.

1965 – President Lyndon B. Johnson, responding to the Selma crisis, tells U.S. Congress “We shall overcome” while advocating the Voting Rights Act.

1985 – The first Internet domain name is registered (symbolics.com).

1990 – Mikhail Gorbachev is elected as the first President of the Soviet Union.

2011 – Beginning of the Syrian uprising.

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Fun Links to have

Daily Countdown to Spring 

Sound Cloud 

A cool Time piece for the web

Next Full Moon 

More to come … Enjoy : ) 

**************************************************

Daily Prayer for March

Thank you for another day in the world you created.

May my spirit inspire, inflate and bring joy and peace to another.

May I always speak my gratitude into the world and share my appreciation.

Guide me today to be wiser, more kind, help me to see deeper into this hurting world and perhaps give a bit of kindness to it.

May I always appreciate the nature that surrounds me.

The wind, the sunshine and the plants and trees that surround me.

Help me to understand that the energy around me is both helpful and strengthening.

In your word I seek peace and solace.

Thank you for another day.

Amen

*****************************************************

Sharing a smile ~  Sending you love ~  Pass it on

: )

brought to you by Make ME Smile Online

written by Victor Yakin copyright protected 2011* 2012

1. Keep it Challenging but Realistic.

Any goal that you set for your company should be challenging but don’t over do it. For example, if you had an average order amount of $700 last year, you wouldn’t want to set your goal for this year at $3000 per order. Unless you make drastic changes in how your company runs or what you are selling, that goal is just not realistic. You know best what you may be able to achieve in your particular industry, so be honest with yourself and set your goals accordingly.

2. Write All Your Goals Down.

You may say to yourself on January 1, “I want to get 20 more new customers per week this year.” A few months later you will be saying “Did I say I wanted 20 or 30?” Or more realistically, you have forgotten that you even made that goal. If you have all of your goals written down you will be able to not only go back and check them, you will also be able to go down the list every few months and check to see how many of them you have completed.

3. Assess Your Current Situation.

To set goals you have to know where you are at right now. In 2003 I wanted to assess our customer service rating so we sent out a survey to all of our customers on which they could rate us in each department of our operation. That helped us establish our base. Now we send the survey to every customer after every order. This way we can keep track of how we are doing and if there is ever a hiccup we can fix it quickly. Don’t assume anything. Always assess the current situation before setting a new goal.

It’s Only Going to Hurt A Little…

Now, in financial goal setting for your business, one invariably comes to the question: “How do I decide on a budget when starting a marketing plan?”

 This is obviously the first question that you have to answer in order to get started on your new campaign – and in order to reach the income goals you have set for yourself.

  So how do you figure out what your budget should be? Here is an easy method to help you find a number that is going to work for you and your business. Some might say that it is a good rule of thumb, but I personally judge things on whether or not they work and get results. That’s all.

Moving on… Start with the amount of income that your company generated last month and multiply it by .14 (or 14%). That means that if you had $50,000 in Gross Income last month you should budget to spend $7000 on marketing in the next month. Wait… I know, it sounds painful but it is just like a shot at the doctor. It might hurt for a minute (or in this case a month) but down the road you are going to be glad that you went through it. Putting that much toward the right marketing will bump up your income the next month and start you on a cycle of steady growth. 

    I know that some businesses run tighter than others and it is possible that you won’t be comfortable with that amount in the beginning. Don’t misunderstand me, any marketing is better than no marketing. Don’t get discouraged if your budget is lower than 14%. But use 14% as the ideal to strive for because, for me as well as many other growing businesses, it has proven to give the best rate of growth possible. How do I know, 

you ask? My company has expanded 400% in the past 2 years. Now picture your business at 4 times its current size… There’s that smile I was looking for!

  The growth of your business is based on three factors; quality products, great customer service and the proper amount of marketing. If you know you have the first two taken care and you still aren’t experiencing healthy growth then you need to take a serious look at your marketing budget.

  So sharpen your pencils, start calculating and decide how rapidly you want your business to grow. 

Please take a moment this week to sit down and decide on your goals for the New Year. Even if it is past the New Year and even well into the year, set your goals for the rest of the year. 

  Everything is easier when you are working towards a goal. My goal is your success and I assume that is your goal as well.

Image via Wikipedia

That may be true, but I believe that God has some closer destinations He wants us to reach before we get to Glory. Achieving those destinations should be a major priority for all of us. God hasn’t only called you to salvation; He has also given you a unique purpose, a destination that you — and you only — are meant to reach. The highest end of your life as a Christian is to glorify God by finding that purpose and then optimizing its fulfilment.

Look at Paul. He said of his work as an apostle, “This one thing I do.” Be honest: How many of us could say that? Most of us would have to admit, “These fifty things I dabble in!” Yet experience itself should teach us that dabbling merely frustrates us by multiplying the effort and diminishing the returns. What we need is a rigorous method of organizing the future so that when it becomes the present we know what we want to do with it. It’s a technique that people have been talking about for a long time and not doing properly. It’s called goal-setting.

Getting Ahead in the Goal Game

Christians can be particularly bad at goal-setting. Maybe that’s because they see their lives as being controlled from the outside. Ask the typical Christian why he has no goals and he’s likely to reply, “I’m waiting on the Lord.” But as Dwight L. Moody once said, “It’s all right to wait on the Lord as long as you hustle while you wait!”  Most of our limitations are not imposed on us by God — we impose them on ourselves. Loneliness encourages this effect. To a lonely person the future looks like a wasteland — miles of rough country that he’s going to have to traverse on foot. If he’s the Ugly Duckling, the prospect will stimulate his sense of inadequacy, and he will prefer to ignore the problem, diverting his attention to something else instead.

The goal-setter, however, sees much more than a wasteland. To his eye, that stony terrain is crossed by a brand-new highway — all he has to do is get down and build it. Goal-setting is not just the opposite of the inertia produced by loneliness — it is a way of overcoming that inertia. It integrates the entire personality and makes for emotional wholeness. But it needs a kick-start, and for that you’ll want to cultivate two qualities.

First, decisiveness. Loneliness by its very nature deals with wisps, phantoms, unrealities, and speculations. For the lonely person, decision comes last on the list of priorities, because it orients the decision-maker toward one set of possibilities and cuts him off from all the rest. The Latin root of the word “decision” means precisely that — to cut off. But decisiveness is vital. You must focus your energies if you’re going to get the future under control and win over loneliness.

 Goal-setting is like getting both eyes in focus. Jesus stressed the importance of having a “single eye” — a single purpose, objective, or goal. That applies to the whole of life, not only the matter of commitment to Christ. James tells us that “a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways” (James 1:8). God doesn’t want double-minded, indecisive disciples; He wants dedicated men and women who pursue and achieve their objectives. Don’t misunderstand me — I’m not advocating workaholism here. The workaholic depends on work to compensate for inadequacy in other areas of his life. But the goal-setter isn’t running away from anything. He’s taking control and making maximum use of his resources to cover the full range of his responsibilities. This means that, unlike the workaholic, he can put his business down at the end of the day and still be free from loneliness.

Second, goal-setting requires discipline. It takes some courage to commit yourself to a goal. Doing so involves a certain finality, an awareness of responsibility, and a willingness to pass the point of no return. But once declared, a war must be waged to the end. There is no point in making a decision, setting a goal, and then chickening out because the going gets tough. Sure, there are risks — that’s part of the deal. The battle to win over loneliness is no soft option. I warned you that you’d need discipline, and this is one place you need it!

 It takes no discipline at all to sunbathe in self-pity, and very little discipline to tackle loneliness with the block-out and the face-lift described earlier. Discipline isn’t easy. But if the discipline involved in goal-setting is making you think twice, consider for a moment the reasons you don’t want to take it on.

It could be that you’re afraid. Forging a new way of life brings an encounter with the unknown. That can be scary. It’s far more comfortable to repeat tomorrow what we’ve done today, no matter how miserable or dishonourable today’s activities have been — better the devil you know than the devil you don’t! But think: Isn’t it better to have no “devil” at all?

You may be too proud. Nobody likes to admit he’s been wrong, and a change in lifestyle implies that strongly. Loneliness, in particular, has such a stigma attached to it that you’d probably die before telling your friends about it. But at this point, I have to ask you what you want. Do you want to shore up the feeble defences of your own ego, or do you want freedom? Pride is a poor excuse for misery. In any case, your friends probably already know that you’re lonely (they’re probably lonely too). What do you have to lose?

Finally, you may be lazy. Yes, lazy. In adulthood many people develop a sort of mental inertia. They may not like loneliness, and they may not exactly be afraid of the new ideas and experiences that will help them win over it, but they’re held back because they can’t be bothered to make the effort. Misery isn’t pleasant, but at least it’s free. Well, once again: What do you want — ease or liberation? It’s up to you. Remember that mental inertia isn’t something that a goal-setter is stuck with for long. Once you get into goal-setting, your whole state of mind will change. It works like a vacation.

Once taken outside its familiar routines, your mind will become more elastic, more ready to respond with speed and accuracy, more like the mind of Christ. And the mind of Christ is alert, not atrophied; bright, not bored; creative, not constricted; dynamic, not dull; energetic, not enervated! J.E. Haggai.

I. L. SAMBO ESQ.

ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, ARBITRATOR &

CAPITAL MARKET CONSULTANT.

Abuja – Nigeria.

EMAIL: ilsambo@yahoo.com

29/2/2012

They look nice, maybe useful even, but who needs them in February?  Well, it did not take me too long to admit that one of those people is me. I quickly got one from the shelf and headed for the counter, not even waiting for my wife who was busy checking her list for groceries.

Of course there are plenty of softwares and templates for diary planners available online and I have been using one for my work. They can be very convenient to use and by keyword search you can recover all the data the managing director wants on any transaction if you use them religiously.  However, something in me still want to have a diary planner  filled up in paper rather than behind the computer screen.

Looking at the new planner, I feel a bit of excitement at rediscovering the pleasure of having a written diary planner. I imagine waking up in another year and then looking at a religiously filled planner  with pages yellowing with time. In it, written would be goals, plans, hopes, worries and anticipations of the future that will have already  passed. Perhaps, I will have a clear accounting of all memories pleasant and otherwise. Perhaps, I will have a better perspective of what went well and what did not based on the goals, what was done day in and day out leading to the deadline.  Perhaps, with the contents of the planner, I can reevaluate the skill sets necessary to take things further, to get over the hump.

“Twenty dirhams”, I heard the cashier say. I was awakened from the trance and handed her the exact notes. At the same time, I realized that I was in that sort of trance for many years in my life—–daydreaming, recalling, romanticizing until somebody calls you out for something that has already become urgent. And that could not happen if you use a diary planner well. For, more than anything, a well-filled diary planner is a written testament to one’s discipline, one’s commitment to see any goal through, to keep with the present. Romanticizing about the passage of time could come later.

Ah, resolutions. Those potentially nasty, forgotten by February, promises you make to yourself, your life and the world to be a better person and this world a better place. We always start off just like the New Year, full of promise, full of hope and eager to make some changes. We have the best intentions but then life catches up with us or we find we’ve inadvertently bitten off more than we could chew and now we drop our resolutions like a stick of butter, whoops! Well here are some sure fire steps to help keep you motivated to do whatever your resolution may be and how to drop the ones that aren’t worth keeping, guilt free. 

First things first: Write down your goals and be reasonable. Most of us start off so motivated and filled with the promise of a new year that we over-promise ourselves. We simply stretch ourselves too thin. So, if your goal is to lose weight, become a better parent/mate/child/employee and to save money, start by writing those three things down. Keep this list somewhere that you can look on it often to remind you of what your goals are and the reasons why.  Remember: there are only 24 hours in every day, 7 days in a week and 365 days in a year. No exceptions and no pause buttons. So if you find that after you write down your goals that you have a list down to the ground, maybe it’s time to cut yourself some slack, and your list down a few items.

Next: Give yourself a reasonable time line. In our society where everything is meant to be fast and/or instant, sometimes it’s hard for us to understand that not everything happens that quickly. If your goal is to lose 100 pounds, or 50 or even 25, set yourself a realistic time line. Even under the best diet and exercise plan, you cannot expect to lose a significant amount of weight overnight, or even within a month. Most physicians will recommend a one pound weight loss per week. Sometimes two under stricter programs. If we gave ourself the one pound rule, that’s four pounds a month and 52 pounds in a year. To some people that may seem too long. Almost two years to lose 100 pounds?! But that’s not only realistic, it’s doable. If your goal is to brush your teeth every day, give yourself time to make that a habit and don’t expect it to be second nature within the first week. Change takes time. 

Finally: Take baby steps. When taking on a big project at work or in the home, it is highly advantageous to break things down into small, easy to accomplish steps. If your goal is to organize your home, start off with your time line. If you want it done within a month, use this step to break it down further. Do the kitchen first, then the living room, then the kid’s room, then yours and finally, that pesky garage. After you have your initial game plan, feel free to break that down further. Give yourself so many days to do the kitchen, with set tasks to be accomplished daily. For example: Monday- Wipe down all cabinets inside and out and counter-tops. Tuesday- Clean out the refrigerator, including the coils and condense all recipes. Wednesday- Deep clean the oven and mop the floors. Thursday- Relax. Friday: Start the living room. By taking these smaller and simpler steps toward your goal, you are helping yourself avoid becoming overwhelmed and leaving a project half done or poorly done and having to return to it later. Do it right the first time and you will be happy with the results.

The best resolutions are the ones you achieve so make this the year that you give yourself reasonable resolutions. Make them your own. If you’re a visual person, set yourself up with visual cues that you are on track. Every day that you work out, brush your teeth, say your prayers, volunteer or stay on your diet, give yourself a smiley face sticker. If you’re a person who has to see results immediately, make your baby steps a check list. As you finish each small task, check it off. Seeing those tally marks add up and that to-do list get shorter and shorter just might be the drive you need to see this resolution through.

As a final thought, if you are following these steps and find that life keeps throwing you curve ball after curve ball and you are unable or unwilling to continue, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes, things just can’t get done in the time frame we would like them too. Remember that you can’t control every situation and sometimes you just need to let things go. Don’t sacrifice time with your loved ones, quality time taking care of yourself and important events for the sake of a resolution.  So chin up, deep breath, make those lists, set your time frame and take those baby steps. If all else fails, there’s always next year. 

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project that’s being pitched by someone who was nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic.

On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something.

Self-confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, their peers, their bosses, their customers, and their friends. And gaining the confidence of others is one of the key ways in which a self-confident person finds success.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of people around you, it’s well-worth the effort!

So how confident do you seem to others?

Your level of self-confidence can show in many ways: your behavior, your body language, how you speak, what you say, and so on. Look at the following comparisons of common confident behavior with behavior associated with low self-confidence. Which thoughts or actions do you recognize in yourself and people around you?

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or 5-minute solution.

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we’ll use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:

Look at what you’ve already achieved:

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you’ve achieved in an “Achievement Log.” Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Think about your strengths:

Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis (explore personal SWOT Analysis here) to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.

Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think about what’s important to you, and where you want to go:

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our article on goal setting to find out how to use this important technique, or use our Life Plan Workbook to think through your own goals in detail (see “Tip” below).

Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. A tip: Make sure it’s a very small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!

Start managing your mind:

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence. See our article on rational positive thinking to find out how to do this.

Further useful reading includes our article on imagery – this teaches you how to use and create strong mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals – there’s something about doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

And then commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the risks you face, read our Risk Analysis and Management article.

Either way, make that promise!

Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

So How Self Confident Are You? Take our short quiz to find out how self-confident you are already, and start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.

Change can be scary.  But you’re in charge and here are 3 easy steps to transform things from the way they are to the way the way you really want them.

Step 1.  Visualisation.

Enjoy getting creative by examining what you’d like to have in your life.  Creativity engages the part of the brain that involves wishful thinking and play so have fun with this.  If you could design your life on the piece of paper in front of you, how would you spend your time, how would your health be, who would share your life, what roles would you play?  Add your own ideas to this list of questions and answer them.

• Now add some colour to the list or mind map.  Find pictures of friends and family that are relevant to your plan; go to a search engine image search and look for pictures that are meaningful to you and resonate with the ideas you’ve had.  Print these and add them to your list or mind map.
• When you’ve completed this task, step back for a moment and look at it.  Think about each item and consider how important it is – rate it on a scale of 1-10 because when you realise how important something is you’ll put a lot of energy into it.
• Lastly for this step, think forward in time.  How will you feel when you’ve achieved some of the things on your list?  How will you feel if you don’t try?

Step 2.  Make a plan.

Now you know which of your ideas/goals/images are the most important, it’s time to make a plan to help you achieve it.  Change can be scary so if you’re a nurse but long to become a farmer, how do make that leap? 

SMART is a great acronym in goal setting and stands for Specific, Measurable, Action-oriented, Realistic and Timed.

Break your plan into bite-sized chunks and ask yourself “What do I need to do to get to where I want to be?”  Write down all the tasks you could possibly need to do and then schedule them into a 90 day timeframe where the 90 days are set into weekly sections.  This gives you 3 months of focused activity that will take you nearer your goal. 

Successful business people use this process all the time.

Step 3.  Making it happen.

Planning is easy.  Anyone can do it.  Action needs courage, energy and conviction. Remember how you will feel if you fail to achieve these goals – the ones you’ve chosen to go for and will regret not reaching.  Anticipate the feeling of reaching them and how much better life will be.

If you need someone to keep you on track for this then find a coach who will help.  Show her your 90 day plan and meet regularly to review what you’ve done and what you’ve learned.  If you have a friend who won’t be soft on you then ask her to be your coach!

Step 3.  Rewarding yourself.

The final step in the 90 day plan is to build in some rewards.  Nobody’s perfect so don’t berate yourself if you don’t achieve everything on your plan. 

Congratulate yourself for achieving 70%, 80%, 90% and 100% of your tasks on the way to your goals.  Each level of reward will be greater than the one below.  So maybe a meal at your favourite restaurant for getting 70%, half day at a health spa for 80%, a full day with a friend for 90% and a weekend away for 100%. It’s your plan.

Goal setting isn’t brain surgery or rocket science and there’s a lot of advice on getting it right.  But it takes guts, energy and motivation to see the plan through to fruition.  Only you can change your life.  What will you do?

The first thing you should do is look from the top.  What do you imagine yourself accomplishing after a certain number of years?  What things do you want to have?  What do you intend to do with the rest of your life?  Look at the finish line and see what you find there.  It is important to know what things truly matter to you, and it may help if you made up a list and arrange these things in chronological order in order to see what things have more weight than all the others.

Goal Setting Strategy #2:  Define Smaller Goals

Normally the end goal or the long-term goal would take much time to accomplish.  In order to make the journey more enjoyable, set little goals along the way.  If, for instance, you intend to become a celebrity in five years, then you could set up smaller goals like win a talent show or join a contest or meet an agent.  Make sure that the things that you do all lead to the smaller goals, and that all the smaller goals lead to the end goal.

Goal Setting Strategy #3:  Define Daily Goals

Setting goals on a day-to-day basis is a way of breaking down a big job into several smaller and simpler tasks.  Creating a daily schedule is one of the more enjoyable goal setting strategies.  If the smaller goal, say, win a talent show, is to be achieved within a month, then make sure that every day that comes prior to that month is geared towards achieving that goal.  You could keep reading about strategies to win the audience, how to overcome stage fright, how to boost your confidence, etc.  You could even meet with some friends and share ideas.  Support systems are very important in the accomplishment of goals, so make sure you have people close to you who will be ready to back you up whatever the circumstance.

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