One:  I will have at least one chocolate thing a day, even if it is just a bit of co-co in my coffee.  I will do this for two reasons.  The first is that I am a more pleasant person to be around if I have some chocolate, both to my family and my co-workers.  The second is that I am going to try and eat healthier this year, and what better way to begin than with the anti-oxidants in dark chocolate.

Two:  I will make a greater effort to get my family to do the housework, as well as myself.  My goals cannot be all self-oriented, and in an effort to be other centered I shall teach my kids how to do laundry and dishes so that they are better able to deal with the real world.  Also, this will free up valuable chocolate time.

Three:  I will read what I want to read, not necessarily what is recommended to me, even if the recommendation comes from Oprah.   I will read brain candy romances, children’s books, graphic novels, and whatever else strikes my fancy, even if I can find no ‘redeeming’ value to it.  That is the value.  I will also consume chocolate while I read.

Four:  I will actively spend time with people that I want to spend time with, like my family and friends.  If I don’t want to go to the work party, I am NOT going.  Period.  I don’t need to socialize to get ahead in the world.  I need to socialize to strengthen the relationships that are most important.  There is so little time for it, it should be spend well.  Of course this resolution is null and void if said work function involves chocolate.

Five:  I will make things with my kids.  This could involve painting, clay, sewing, chocolate cake, chocolate pudding, chocolate candy, or simply a mess. 

Six:  When I plant my garden I am going to plant things that I like.  I will plant impractical things that no one else will eat like okra and beets, because they are pretty and fun.  I will plant tomatoes and potatoes just because I want to make a rhyme when I say them together.  I will also plant things like strawberries that can be dipped into chocolate.  See, healthy.

Seven:  If I get angry at anything at work or at home, I will remind myself that life is short and that getting angry doesn’t solve anything.  Dialogue and chocolate can do what yelling can’t.

Eight:  I will get enough sleep.  I won’t stay up stressing about the dishes in the sink or the laundry that didn’t get done or work from ‘work’ that I still have to do.  I will sleep when I am tired and after the appropriate amount of chocolate.

Nine:  I will make a space ‘my’ space for my things.  I need ownership of something in the house that I actually own.  My chair will be for me to sit in and my crocheting and my bag of chocolate.

Ten:  I will be able and willing to say ‘I Love You’, and I won’t expect anyone to ever say it back.  I will say it anyway.  I will even share my chocolate.

When feelings of empathy are present many times people will help while stating they are only doing it for the good of that person, and expect nothing in return. However perhaps weeks, months, maybe even years pass and circumstances change for the person who extended themselves to help someone, and they begin thinking about all the things they did for others and why is someone not coming to their aid. Did they truly experience altruism or did they perform the act of kindness with a thought in the back of their mind to hope they would gain something later on in life. Often we will state how people surely will have many jewels in their crown when they arrive in Heaven because of all the good they have done for others. And perhaps even you and this learner have had this very thought after helping someone else. So if this is the case, was true altruism ever really displayed? While our intentions were good, the final result was another.

If you look at the definition of  intentions (the act or fact of intending; determination to do a specified thing or act in a specified manner (“Intention “, n.d.)), one could then state that altruism is strongly related to good intentions. Good intentions will usually bring up the phrase “the road to hell is paved with good intentions” (Research provides no specific author of this quote (Apocrypha, n.d.).  One such explanation is “good intentions that pave the road to hell are the result of the ego’s attempt to be good because that is how the ego wants to be viewed ~ ‘ as good’. It is the ego’s intention to be good that paves this road to hell, not genuine goodness which comes from the core when we are living a spiritually awakened life (rapidmom, 2008)”. This would be better described by egoistic alternatives that suggest humans help others because of concern about the costs to the self of not helping and humans experience guilt, so we help others simply to avoid this (Brehm, et al, 1999).

In conclusion it is this learner’s opinion that true altruism is rare mainly because as time goes on do we begin to view the help as being something we should gain some type of reward for even if we hope it’s at least in the next life. Also just as mentioned with good intentions, it is this learner’s feelings that motives do not guarantee behavior (Brehm et al., 1999) and provides more evidence that while we might have good intentions,  we don’t always follow through with the behavior that will demonstrate true altruism. 

References

 Apocrypha (n.d). Retrieved February 8, 2009, from

            http://www.samueljohnson.com/apocryph.html

Altruism. (n.d.). In  (Ed.),  Wikipedia. Retrieved February 7, 2009, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altruism#Altruism_in_social_sciences

Brehm, S. S., Kassin, S. M., & Fein, S. (1999). Social Psychology (4th ed.). (pp. 337-380) Boston: Houghton Mifflin Company.

Gire, J. T. (2003). PS 302: Social Psychology Home Page.  Chapter Outlines/Notes. Retrieved from: http://academics.vmi.edu/psy/jg/index.htm

Intention . (n.d.). In YourDictionary. Retrieved February 8, 2009, from http://www.yourdictionary.com/intention

rapidmom. (2008, April 27, 2008). The road to hell is paved with good intentions. Message posted to http://www.oprah.com/community/message/480210#480210