Gossip Girl (Photo credit: 成长ING的Terrancé)

Dangerous gossip reaches so high as the business office as low as the hair salon.In nearly every business. It may seem funny at times, but it can become condemning and deep. Perhaps you have seen programs shut down because of gossip, or a person terminated or removed from a position.

There are ways you can protect yourself and your business against gossip. but how? You have to first realize that gossip is everywhere. Gossip is defined as idle chatter, light or heavy conversation about private matters. The dangers is the destructive and often untrue communication among the workplace, home and the neighborhood you live in.

Here are some signs to recognize and stop gossip:

1. Look for complaining or slander.“Half of the employee’s are stealing”, or “The accounting department are making big mistakes on client accounts. This might be untrue upon inspection, but it can flow easily and float it’s way into conversations and become a lie about the department or group. In the example above about the (employees were stealing), the result was that many customer’s closed out their bank accounts because of the “employees”. This resulted in lack of poor communications between the customers and the accounting department, and a problem when it came to opening up new accounts. Pay very close attention whenever someone lays out a “rumor” about an entire company department. It’s almost guaranteed to be a rumor or false gossip.

2. Be careful of negative talk. In a workplace very often, negative speaking can be damaging to a workplace. If someone is speaking negative about an employee’s job skill or performance it can ruin their reputation on the job. These “opinions” can be very damaging. If you pass on negative speaking of someone it can wreck their relationship with other people.

3. Check for “gossiping liars”. Gossiping liars are those who like to ruin others reputaion with gossip. Avoid them. Nicely excuse yourself from the conversation, especially if it’s around a group of people. why? because if they are gossiping to you about others behind their back, they will later gossip about you. Don’t get caught in the trap of gossip. Try to talk positive about the conversation when subjects come up.

4. Inspect false conflicts.When arguments beyond parties in a room become serious, ask questions about what was said behind this gossip. Get them to list out everything about the person that’s negative. It will be false. Sometimes, the same person who is starting all this negative gossip will soon vanish away! As soon as thy see what is happening. Make sure you get a few names of people who were stirring up the conflict. This is good in teambuilding, Sometimes it’s more than one or two persons that keeps the conflict going.

It is very easy to get caught up in gossip in almost any workplace. People have lost their jobs, and dangerous gossip have led to violence in the workplace. The danger of gossip should be educated amoung the workplace. Stay around positive people, your life and business will be a happier.

That was me too. I was born with the last name Grimes. In elementary no matter how smart I was, there was always those that loved to scream out Greasy, Grimy Dirt every time they saw me.

Yes it was hurtful, but I never let it show. Heck I already had enough to deal with at home so nothing they gave me was more than I could handle. Just taught me to hold in my anger. Taught me to have displaced anger.

So I was a fighter. I always seemed to want to fight. Then I had the other side that was sweet, loveable and playful. I was hurting and no one saw it.

So as I go older, it didn’t matter what anyone said about me. It didn’t define who I was or who I was going to be. I also realized the ones that talked where also jealous and just plain mean spirited kids. 

Now I laugh at anyone who tries to judge me. I am entitled to my opinion, beliefs and values.

I love my friends not based on color, money they make or things they have. I love them for their character. Their values and how they treat others and me.

You see I have noticed that those they gossip, judge, condemn, lie and cheat are insecure people. They HAVE to hurt, mistreatment, judge, gossip and all that stuff to feel good about themselves.

All that stuff they say about you, is so the focus is off them. No one will see the insecurity, deceit and envy if they can make them look at you.

So never ever let that one person ruin your day. That is their stuff. Their problem. Their issue. It isn’t about you at all.

Keep strutting your stuff and moving forward. Don’t allow people that are trying to hold you back to go on your journey. 

You will be thankful for the ones in your life that made it great and more grateful for the ones that left and made it fantastic.

You don’t have to keep an enemy closer…THAT IS INSANE! Set boundaries..limitations…rules….

You don’t have to keep someone in your world that doesn’t have your back when you aren’t looking…

Because that is really when it counts…….

MOVING BEYOND DIVORCE

You fell in love (or at least you believed you were) and you got married with every intention of having a happy and full life together.  You are realistic enough to not believe in fairy tales and have no doubt you will have your differences from time to time but you honestly believe that nothing is going to happen that the two of you cannot work out and get through together.  That is the way it is supposed to be, two people in love, pulling together, sharing the weight of all life’s ups and downs, being best friends, always there for each other…and it was like that for a little while; and then the hammer fell and you find yourself standing in a divorce court and suddenly it is over.  You and your spouse are now among the ever growing statistics of the divorced society.

This is no time to play the blame game.  Truth is; it takes two, two people to make a marriage work and two people to destroy it.  Don’t blame third parties if there is a third party, don’t blame your children and don’t blame your extended family.  You and your spouse are both adults; responsible people (who may or may not have participated in irresponsible behavior; we all do from time to time) and need to hold yourself accountable for your own actions and decisions.

Don’t feed on gossip and rumors or allow your imagination to play head games with your emotions.  The bottom line is that the two of you either couldn’t or wouldn’t work out the situation that was pulling you down and in different directions and you both played your part and now there is no fix to it; it is broken and you both need to pick up the pieces and move on…and don’t play the blame game.  You both made mistakes.  Admit it and learn from them.

You were married, partners, a part of each other’s life for a long time and even though you both may agree divorce is the only option for the two of you there is still that feeling of loss, failure, emptiness. You have that torn feeling, like there is a hole in your life that needs to be filled but you don’t know how to fill it.  A part of you is missing, no matter what the situation was that brought your marriage to an end and you into that divorce court and you feel that loss.  That is normal. 

Walking into that house or apartment and knowing he/she is not coming home, (no matter how bad the coming home may have been or the dread of that moment you may have felt before you separated) knowing you will not share another meal or sleep in the same bed again, share any more holidays, ever do those things you once enjoyed together again; is the loneliest feeling I have ever known.  That is normal.  A part of you is missing…but you can rebuild.  Life does exist and go on after divorce.

For the first few days (up to a week or so) you will probably just need to go through the motions of living, make yourself do what you need to do; eat, sleep, care for your physical being, go to work, do your shopping, pay your bills; all those day to day things that must be done.  This is a good time to change your furniture around, pack up or get rid of all those constant reminders of what might have been (your now ex-spouse’s things he/she left behind or special gifts from each other that are sitting there to remind you of the loss you are feeling.  Pack away the pictures of the two of you for now and replace them with something else.)  Take this time to digest the decisions that have been made and take an inventory of what you have left.  It is what you have left that you need to rebuild on.  It is okay to feel hurt and feel sad.  It is okay to feel angry.  It is okay to cry.  Give yourself permission to have those feelings and don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t and to just get over it.  Those feelings are real and it is okay but don’t let them consume you to the point that you can’t or won’t move on. 

Now is the time to pamper yourself a little and push yourself into doing something, anything that is productive for your own life.  Get yourself involved in one of those projects you always wanted and intended to do but never found time for in your married life.  You have time now.  Keep yourself busy and don’t dwell on yesterday.  It is over.  You can’t go back and undo or change one yesterday.  You don’t know what the future may hold but you have today and today you need to make the most of it.  Be creative and set up a new routine for your life including those fun things you like to do; you can rework and adjust it later and you will.  Eat healthy and get some extra rest.  Your life has just taken an emotional beating and needs time to recoup. 

Don’t allow yourself to crawl into a shell of loneliness, shame and failure and sit there on your sofa feeling sorry for yourself while you munch on potato chips, cookies and ice cream and stare at the boob-tube not even comprehending what is going on in the programming.  Exercise some damage control by getting active and involved in your life instead.  You are not the first person, nor will you be the last to ever go through a divorce.  Knowing this may not make you feel a whole lot better right now but knowing others have survived should help you realize you will too.

You are not responsible for your ex-spouse or your ex-spouse’s decisions or actions.  It is no longer any of your affair or business.  You are only responsible for you (and your children if children are involved) so don’t waste your time checking up on him/her or listening to gossip and rumors that only serve to stir up old negative feelings and resentments.  The only contact and communication necessary between you and your ex-spouse are where it involves the welfare of your children.  For now that is all you need to be concerned with.

This is no time to put your life on hold and wait around until you feel better, start feeling happy again.  Trust me when I tell you that there is no fairy-godmother that is going to show up and sprinkle happy dust all over you and make life all better and all that hurt go away.  Your happiness, contentment in life, building a full and productive new life for yourself is up to you.  You have to make it happen.  Get out there and do it.  Think positive and believe in yourself.  It really is not the end of the world. 

Remember the story from your childhood about “The Little Train That Could.” Well that is you, and you can.  You will probably spin your wheels a few times and make a few mistakes on your way back up that steep hill but you will make it to the top if you just keep chugging along and you will find yourself building new strengths and confidence and power and you will make it to the top but only if you believe you can; “I think I can, I think I can, I think I can,” and suddenly you realize you made it, you did it.  Hurray for you.  Good job.

One other very important thing, and I am telling you this from my own experience and learning the hard way, you do not need another special he or she in your life right now to make you feel you “have a life.”  It is good to have friends and share time with friends and family but don’t jump from the frying pan into the fire and couple up with someone, try to build a new relationship right now.  Don’t let anyone try to push you into it or goad you into dates or blind-dates, especially single dating.

Your emotions are still too raw and it takes time to heal.  Loneliness and feeling like you are on the outside looking in can lead you down a very dark road if you let yourself get involved too quickly. 

You are still carrying around a lot of old baggage that needs to be dealt with, dumped and getting involved in a new relationship in the first few months or year after your divorce is a bad decision.  You will carry all that old baggage into the new relationship if you don’t get rid of it first and you will only get hurt and probably hurt that new he or she in the process.  Neither of you need that and it will only serve to cripple or maybe even destroy what might turn out to be a beautiful friendship if you don’t get involved too quickly.  It is okay to have friends, even good, and to share time together; and if you do decide to date, keep those dates in public places and not where temptation can lure you into something you will regret later.  Build on friendships but leave the relationship until later; once you have really got your life together again. 

You don’t need a significant other to live your life or have a life of your own. Now is the time for you to enjoy your new independence, your freedom to be you and involve yourself in those things that make you the person you really are inside.  Go back to school.  Finish that degree.  Get involved in a sport or creative activity that you enjoy, the theater, music, pottery, learn a new language or something else you have always wanted to do, whatever interest you.

Get yourself involved in life outside of marriage again.  Get actively involved in your church or other organization you are interested in, the PTA or school sports booster club, scouting; start enjoying that old hobby you loved but put on the back burner for a time, join the writing group or book club at your local library, the garden club, the community band, choir or theater group, take up skiing, skydiving, go to the gym; make new friends in new circles that bring joy to your life.  Keep the old friends so long as they remain truly your friend, otherwise, there is nothing wrong with distancing yourself from them.  Make your life happen and enjoy the freedom to do so.  However, don’t overdo it.  Don’t stretch yourself so thin that your involvement becomes only superficial and you cannot truly enjoy it.     

Above all, don’t neglect your children if there are children involved.  They are children and your responsibility and their welfare need to come first.  Include them in your life where possible and is appropriate and stay involved in theirs but don’t smother them either to cover up or try to fill your own emptiness.  You can still be a whole family and unless there is a justifiable, legal reason not to, you need to let your children be a part of both their parent’s new life and don’t ever, ever make them feel they are in any way to blame for your broken marriage.  They are not. 

Your children need to know that it is okay to love both parents and be a part of both of your lives no matter which one of you is now the custodial parent.  Children adjust well when it is made acceptable and they are given reasonable explanations, without all the details.  No matter how you may feel toward your ex-spouse, do not cut that person down to or in front of your children or allow others to do that.  That is not acceptable behavior.  Your ex-spouse is still their mom or dad.  They love both of you.  Be glad.

Your “I love you truly, happily ever after” dream didn’t happen.  You’re divorced.  Learn from the mistakes you both made and move on beyond the circumstance.  There really is life beyond the divorce court but it is up to you to make it happen and to live it.

Gossip is always identical to the woman. gossip has also become part of the Lifestyle of the woman. First, I used to be a part of the people who like to gossip, never did so the victim of gossip, and is now trying to control myself to steer clear of the habit of gossiping. Before discussing too much about Gossip, I tried the main word gossip itself with the help of a dictionary. Gossip is a negative story about someone, means telling the gossip is telling things negative about a person. If in the view of this definition it is clear that gossiping it could be categorized as an act that is not good. Enjoy the fun by telling the ugliness or disgrace of others. Sometimes the gossip can lead to acts of libel with the sprinkle a bit of seasoning. Be grateful if you did not include a person who likes to gossip or the victim of gossip. Real gossip that has no benefit for our life, it would have much impact arising from gossip. Not every word that comes out of our mouths are a reflection of our hearts that truly are? We are not going to seem more Intelligent because gossip, I am sure the many ways that we can do to be a man of passionate and intelligent tanpagosip. Use the potential that we have, don’t be with dirty ways such as telling gossip. Often while telling gossip about our friends or co-workers, we feel in a position where we know better everything off on others. In fact, everyone that had a side of life that never we know ahead of time. Remember!!! We are not God knows everything. For example when there is a woman at my Office at gosipkan as women who are rude and never beramah tamah with others, but no one knows that in fact she was stressed out because it had problems with his family. Instropeksi yourself before busy talking about someone else’s fault. Reflect on the keselahan-our mistakes in the past. Remember!!! that every human being never do mistakes like us who never do mistakes in the past. So what if we are so victim of gossip? (as I have ever experienced) Silent. Yes, Silence is by no means justifies the gossip. Deal with gossip don’t need to meluapkan anger. Yeah I guess that’s how powerful I would do when wracked Gossip wasn’t tasty. As long as I am right, I will never be afraid to confront those who love to gossip. I believe, someday the truth will silence their own mouths.

If anything can go wrong it will, right?  Oh man, why do I have to feel so beaten all the time, like such a complete failure, always feeling knocked down, never good enough, trampled on.  Life is so unfair and I’m getting to the point where I am just so tired of it all I don’t even care anymore.  All I ever wanted was to just be happy, have a good life, a family and friends, a good job, enjoy living and just be happy.  Why does life always have to be such a struggle?  Why can’t I find one positive thing in this negative world?  Why can’t I just be happy, really happy and not just do a happy dance for appearance sake?

If you have ever had any of these thoughts, feel this way, you’re not alone.  Depression is alive and well here on planet Earth and it affects every culture, race and people on the planet.  Far too many of us are always seeing the negative side of a situation even before it happens, never seeing the positive side, any good that may come out of a trying situation or making any effort to turn a negative into a positive. Looking for and finding fault with everything and everyone seems to be a chronic world epidemic and it is no new thing.

It is a negative world we live in.  We are force fed “negative” and are only on very rare occasion given a spoonful of honey to help us swallow all the negative; sweeten it up with just a smidgen of positive so we don’t all go over the edge.  Pick up most any newspaper, listen to news broadcast, talk shows, the gossip mongers, music, yes, even music, listen to the negative messages, all that pain, sorrow, grief and anger; there aren’t a whole lot of upbeat songs out there; even a lot of our churches use the negative approach instead of spreading the “Good News” and don’t forget gossip…we dwell on it, if not consciously then subconsciously.  And let’s not leave out advertising, those advertisements that leave us feeling less than what we really are so we will go right out and buy that product so we can become positively perfect and well and famous, gain financial security and have all our dreams come true and be accepted because that product or program or whatever is exactly what we need to have a happy lifestyle and if we can’t get it right now or we find out the hard way it was just a scam, we feel life is unfair and we are a failure.  It niggles at our mind until we become just as negative as the world we are living in.

So how can we live a happy and positive life in such a negative world?  I mean really, not everything and everybody is negative, or totally so.  What is it they have that so many others don’t, that something that gives them that constant positive, upbeat, don’t worry, be happy attitude and it seems like they have always been that way.  Some people just seem to have a naturally positive attitude and happy disposition even in these oft times trying and desperate days of our life.  When there is so much negativity all around us, how do some folks manage to stay so happy?

To be happy, to keep a positive outlook on life depends almost entirely on how we focus, where our mindset is.  When we focus on the positive things in life instead of on all of the negative, the negatives becomes easier to deal with and overwhelm us less.  When bad things happen and they do and will, we will find them easier to manage when we use a little common sense, discernment regarding the situation we are facing and remember the sun is still shining behind those clouds that are darkening our day and our spirit. 

We all have our day to day issues to deal with; relationships, our jobs, the economy, social issues like poverty, inequalities, racism, discrimination, prejudices, politics and crime; our health, ageing, death, divorce, the environment, the weather, things as simple as a disappointment because some planned event we had been looking forward to was suddenly cancelled; physical and emotional trauma, world events that alarm us and shake us out of our comfort zone and it seems like negative is bombarding us from all directions.  It is, but you don’t have to let it pull the rug out from under you and leave you flat on your back looking into tomorrow with visions of more gloom and doom. 

All the negativity around us can and will slowly but surely erode positive thinking and behavior if we allow it to by dwelling on the negative aspects of our life. People who dwell on the negative aspects of life are very unhappy people and all that negativity will eventually swallow you up until you can find no good reason to even be living.  Too many of us are worrying and fretting our self right into the grave.  Don’t let that happen to you.

To live a positive or negative life truly is a matter of choice.  We all are accountable and responsible for our own attitude, our actions and how we react to any given situation; and the way we choose to live our life.  Just because someone else has allowed their world to toss them into a negative pit of despair does not mean you have to follow and then wallow with them.  Remember that for every negative there is a positive and it is the positive we need to latch onto.

We have to work at being positive.  Positive, happy people strive to do and keep those things in their life that make them happy: 

Staying healthy, doing those things like eating right, getting enough fresh air, exercise and rest;

Surround yourself with positive friends instead of the gloom and doom crowd.  

Avoiding gossip and guard our own tongue.  Listen to how we talk and share with others.  If we can’t say something nice, something positive, don’t say anything at all.  Be respectful of yourself and of others.

Shelter your mind and emotions from negative influences, the news (You don’t have to listen to every news broadcast and bulletin unless it is directly effecting your immediate environment, just scan the headlines and listen to your local news broadcast but don’t submerge yourself in all that media sensationalism.) 

Be aware of what is going on around you but be discerning about how much of it you saturate your brain with.  Be choosy what TV shows you watch, music you listen to, books you read, games you play and the Internet content that comes sailing through cyberspace to your in-box that you open.  Don’t believe everything you read and only half of what you think you see.

Learn to exercise patience with yourself and with others.  We all grow and develop at different rates and see things from a different point of view.   Don’t be rude or critical of others in a negative manner.  No bullying.  Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

Don’t dwell on yesterday or keep bringing up something that happened that was upsetting or hurtful ages ago.  Yesterday cannot be undone.  It is gone, history.  Put it behind you and move on.  Learn from it and try not to repeat the same mistakes; but don’t dwell on it.

Don’t fret and worry about what might happen tomorrow, most of what you imagine isn’t going to happen   won’t happen anyhow and none of us know if we will even see tomorrow; we only can hope we will.

Live today, now.  Get out of bed and put a smile on your face, even if it hurts and is difficult to do at first.  You will eventually get used to it and that smile will become genuine and a positive asset.  It is like getting a flu shot.  It only hurts for a minute but can prevent a lot of suffering later.

Be thankful and appreciative of the good things you do have in your life and more will come.  Today you are alive, so live.  If you have food to eat, a roof over your head, clothes on your back, a job, even if it is only part-time, you are a whole lot better off than a lot of other people.  If you have shoes on your feet, no matter how scuffed and worn they may be, you are better off than the man who has no feet.  I think you see what I mean.

Accept those things you have no control over, cannot change and change those things you can, namely you and be discerning enough to know the difference.  The only real thing you have control over is you.  You may set forth some very convincing arguments, (like I am trying to do here) but you have no control over another person’s thoughts or beliefs.

Believe in yourself and trust yourself to use good common sense; think before you act or speak.  Consider the consequences.  We all make wrong choices sometimes but don’t beat yourself up over it.  Learn from it and don’t repeat it.

Above all, keep faith.  Trust in God and follow and believe.  I don’t care what religion you happen to be.  That is your choice but there is only one God and that God loves you very much and that love is the key to the positive side of negative.

Image via CrunchBase

Twitter is perceived by many celebrities as crucial publicity, offering a candid glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous. When a celebrity makes a twitter account and starts engaging their daily activities with twitter, this celebrity actually begins to tell the world about their feelings. In return, this action can grab some attention or interests from particular people. In reality, an action will always obtain a response regardless whether it is bad or good. At this point, the celebrities’ skills to turn the images of them to be good in people’s mind impact significantly to their career. 

Expressing our thoughts, opinions, or even feelings in virtual world is rather easier than doing it in reality. Sometimes, what we express in virtual world is the true us. It is truly how is our feeling, our thought and our expression. Therefore, when we see a twit from a celebrity, it can be his or her original feeling at the time. I bet, although the celebrities are good actors or actresses, they will not be able to make lies through twitter everyday only to build good images of them.  

Comfort due to gossip. That the experts provide answers to the questions above. Some gossip sentences that we can share with friends, colleagues or family, is mentioned us feel good and superior.

Laurent Begue, social psychologist, says that about 60 percent of the content of the conversation between an adult about someone who was not present, is. ”And many of them on our judgment about people who talk about it,” he said.

He explained that the talk can form social bonds, because the common dislikes another person may create a sense of similarity in the range of something positive.

“Two people who do not feel closer to, if they knew how to share rumors about the third person. There will be a kind way to share values ​​and a sense of humor,” he said.

Gossip is also a way to tell people how we connect with people who have never met. For example, we can feel “familiar” friend stories are divided by the working environment.

Also, sometimes, the “secret” that we share with someone else as a sign of our confidence.”Sometimes our hearts glad to hear the words” do not tell “from the mouths of people who spread the story of secrecy,” he said.

The anthropologist Robin Dunbar even mentioned that gossip is an essential factor in the evolution of brain development. ”Language because of the need to spread rumors will be created,” he said.

However, gossip can also be a way to share your concerns and ask for his help. He was an indirect expression of our desires. For example, we talked about how sexy clothes to wear our brother. Maybe we really want to convince us that we are not less sexy.

But after all the gossip could ruin a lot, especially the beliefs of others. Chat in the office can actually cause you to look less professional.

Comfort from gossip. That’s experts provide answers to the questions above. Some phrases that we share gossip with friends, colleagues or family, you mentioned can make us feel good and superior.

Laurent Begue, a social psychologist, says that about 60 percent of the content of the conversation between an adult is about someone who was not present. “And many of them our judgment about people talking,” he said.

He explained that gossip can form social bonds because of shared dislikes another person may create a sense of similarity with respect to the range of something positive.

“Two people who knew each other not to feel closer, when rumors about the third person. It ’s sort of become a way of sharing values ​​and sense of humor,” he said.

Gossip is also a way to tell people how to connect with people who have never met. For example, we may feel friendly “family” stories of the working environment are scattered.

Also, sometimes the “secret” that we share with someone considered to be indicative of our faith. “Sometimes our hearts glad to hear the words ‘do not tell anyone’ from the mouths of people who spread the story of the secret,” he said.

Anthropologist Robin Dunbar also mentions that gossip is a key factor in the evolution of brain development. “The language was created because of the need to spread rumors,” he said.

But gossip can also be a way to share your concerns and seek support. It ‘became an indirect way of expressing our desires. For example, we talked about how sexy clothes to wear our brother. Maybe we really want to convince us that we are no less sexy.

However, after all the gossip could ruin a lot of things, especially the beliefs of others. Gossiping in the office can also cause you to look less professional.

In a sample of discourse from five fraternity brothers, Cameron and Kulick revealed that the men were displaying femininity through discourse. The fraternity brothers were gossiping. Gossip is a genre of talk about the characteristics and actions of an absent individual, and is typically affiliated more with women than men in America. This therefore indirectly indexes femininity because this type of discourse is associated more with females. The fraternity brothers also were discussing the appearance and clothing of another individual, which indexes femininity because women typically are more concerned with these topics than men. Gossip is a way for the speakers to strengthen bonds. Telling secrets to others and discussing opinions of people are ways that speakers, especially American speakers, can create or maintain bonds; it is a way for people to become closer by sharing their opinions of moral dilemmas.

The most obvious aspect of gender that is indexed in the recorded discourse is femininity. The femininity of the three female participants is displayed throughout the conversation because they are partaking in gossip. In lines 1 and 2, Chloe is talking about the appearance of the unidentified girl in her class that was covered in hickeys, and in line 4, Jen is talking about the appearance of a boy named Luke. On lines 47 through 54, Jen tells the group a story about her friend Caroline being noisy in the bedroom. Although the story seemed to only serve as a source of comic relief, it actually indicated Jen’s femininity because she was gossiping about Carline’s actions. The group tells stories about the appearance  and actions of a few different people throughout the conversation, and this is indicative of the femininity of the speakers.

It is also important to highlight the fact that the speakers in this sample of discourse are not only discussing the appearance, but the character of the people mentioned. Although Cameron and Kulick do not make this point, I believe that the discussion of the good and bad aspects of a person’s character is indicative of femininity as well. In my experience, women are more concerned with how others act than men. In lines 13 through 16, the participants are analyzing the character of Luke, who has apparently cheated on every girlfriend that he has ever had. The group agrees that Luke had made poor decisions.

In the same analysis of the fraternity brother’s discourse by Cameron and Kulick, they found that the speakers have collaborative speech. The group agrees on most everything that they discuss, and also build talk off of one another’s talk. This indexes femininity, and is an aspect seen in this sample of discourse as well. Jen, Chloe, Fiona and even Thomas agree on everything in the conversation and no one in particular attempts to take over the conversation. The individuals contribute story after story to continue the discourse. These aspects are all indicative of femininity.

There are many instances in this sample of discourse where all four participants display femininity through speech. However, there are a few places where the male participant, Thomas, and the female participants as well, show their masculinity. Gossip is associated more with the performance of femininity, and discourse about sex seems to be associated more with the performance of masculinity than femininity. The female participants may not be purposely displaying masculine qualities, but many aspects of ‘women’s language’ that, according to Lakoff, is normally used by females, seems to be lacking in this situation. Perhaps this is because women’s language is usually used to show the lack of confidence and power of the speaker; in this situation, the participants are engaging in a conversation with people that they are very comfortable with. The speakers may not need to display any lack of power because no one needs to be given the position of power in a group of equal friends.

In this situation, the lack of women’s language was replaced with sexual discussion and display of masculinity. Fiona mentioned in line 31 that her boyfriend Thomas accidentally elbowed her in the eye. In line 33, Thomas showed his masculinity by sexualizing the story. In lines 34 through 40, the participants discussed the apartment that Jen, Fiona and Thomas will have together, and Jen talked about how she did not want to hear Fiona and Thomas in the bedroom together. In lines 73 through 79, Jen and Chloe discretely discussed their sexual experiences in an ex-dentist’s office. Many lexical items in particular are indicative of sexual discourse, including “hickeys” (line 2), “feisty” (line 33), “doin’ her thang” (lines 47-48), and “did it” (line 76). The entire sample of discussion is filled with different kinds of sexual discourse, and it indirectly indexes the masculinity of the participants, much like the gossip qualities of the discussion index the femininity.

Language is more than a way for humans to communicate; language is the way that people produce identities for themselves and for others. By analyzing discourse, we can find many different aspects of gender and sexuality. This sample of talk contains specific examples of the performance of femininity and masculinity.  The femininity of the participants is shown throughout because the discussion is considered gossip. Gossip is considered an indicator of femininity in most English-speaking cultures. The masculinity of the speakers is also shown because of the lack of women’s language and presence of sexual discourse. 

There was an newspaper advertising campaign, recently, that showed people being asked questions about their country, but they were only able to answer a question about a celebrity. The only reason why this is true is because that news broadcasters only show this type of news. Unfortunately, it is not all the fault of the broadcasters. It is also the fault of the readers and viewers. The only thing we are intrested in is gossip, gossip and more gossip. Most of the media companies are just a bigger and more widely distributed form of the Gossip Girl (from the TV show, Gossip Girl).

 The media can be easily compared to a stereotypical teenage girl. They both gossip a lot, rarely disucuss important issues, overlook a majority of the population, target the “audiences” and are quite annoying. 

An evident conclusion to draw from this is that media should be reformed. 

Emphasizing the idiocy of the media, I DON’T WANNA LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE. (for all of you who know about this meme).