A friend of mine once complained about the attitude of his son after spending time with the grandparents. Wow!! when he gets home from grandma and grandpa’s house, he felt like a boss. He will announce what he wants to happen during the day because that’s what he always do in grandma and grandpa’s house.  Well,  his father said, “son, you are not in grandma and grandpa’s domain, you are in my dominion so, you must be polite here.”  The son argue and said, ” why there are lots of restrictions here? “  My friend explained to  his son but his son said,  he would prefer  to live with grandma and grandpa than in their own house because in there, he can do what he wants.

Well, I’m sure grandmas and grandpas are not teaching bad things to their grand children but they always grant their wishes. There are times that they will tolerate their extreme behavior. Sometimes parents and grandparents will develop conflict because of disicpline issues.  The parents want to impose certain disciplinary action to their kids when they made mistakes but the grandparents would stay in between because they don’t want to see the kids being punished or what.

Well, that was what my grandma did before when we were kids. She will scold my parents when we are punish for the wrong we’ve done. She said,  we are just kids and should not be punished because kids are kids.  Wow!! we want grandma to be there all the time to rescue us from trouble. As I grow older and deal with kids, I get mad when somebody stop me to discipline a kid specially when I know it is needed and I have the right to do it. Well, not all grandparents are spoiling their grand children but 90 percent are doing it.

Don’t Panic

First, remain calm. The emotional lightning of divorce can leave lives scorched. To minimize the impact of this change in the family, stay grounded. Your preschool grandchild needs your stability more than ever. Remaining focused on your grandparent/grandchildrelationship will ensure a calm transition with parents.

Learn to Bend

Secondly, be flexible. The relationship you’ve built with your preschool grandchild may be the glue that’s needed by the entire family even though, you may be asked to sacrifice some of your regular visits for a time, or be asked to accept a change in location for visiting. Keeping a positive outlook and allowing the dust to settle, will increase your chances for a quick return to normalcy in your preschool grandchild relationship.

Speak Up

Third, state your needs. Your grandparent relationship is important. It’s important to you, and to your grandchild, and whether parents realize it, important to them also. Calmly letting each parent know your scheduling needs, preferences for visitation times, and concern for continuity, will encourage a timely return to regularity.

Lives change. Positively accepting this change builds a healthy foundation for growth. Your patience and wisdom will help guide the new family structure toward healing restoration.