Take Responsibility For Your Decisions

It is so easy to blame others for where we are today if we have failed to reach our goals. I remember something a teacher told a student that always blamed others for their failure. She said, “If you blame others for your failures you must credit others for you successes. We cannot have it both ways.” While it is true that others have a tremendous affect on our life, the hard cold fact is we are the one who makes the final decisions.

The one thing that we cannot blame or credit others with is our strengths or our weakness. If we are so weak that we make our choices based on popular opinions or we are so hard headed that we do not listen to good advice we have no one to blame for our decision but ourselves. It is vitally important that we make ourselves, and ourselves alone, responsible for our choices and the results of those choices. Until we accept the responsibility for our choices and the results of our choices we will continue to live an unfilled and unhappy life.

Good choice making begins with accepting responsibility for our choices. Regardless of why we make our choices we are the ones who are responsible for the results. Sometimes we are not the only ones affected by choice. Often times our family, our church, and our community is benefited or hurt because of our actions. That is another reason that we should always count the cost of our decisions before we finalize them.

Good choices begin with understanding our self. The better we understand our nature the more likely we are to make the best choice. We all possess certain qualities that complicate our decision making. Qualities like selfishness, greed, jealously, envy, covetousness and pride often stands in our way and keeps us from making good choices. When we learn to identify these natural traits and keep them out of our decision making we can learn to make good choices.

Wise counsel is always advisable before life changing decisions are made. When seeking advice we must be very cautious. We should never seek advice from a counselor who wants to make our decisions for us. A wise counselor is one that will give us the facts and advice and leave the decision in our hands. Remember, an expert on failure is a failure and failure does not qualify one to be a counselor on success.

The following is wise advice for seeking counsel from the book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 11:14  Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

Proverbs 12:15  The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.

Proverbs 13:10  Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.

Proverbs 15:22  Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Proverbs 20:18  Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war.

So much about life is a result of our choices. Yes, there are things that happen in life where we were given no choice and that we have no control over. We were given no choice nor had any control over our ancestors, the country we were born in, the color of our skin, or who are parents and siblings are. We do, however, have a choice about how we react to those conditions. We can accept them as the will of God for us and begin seeking His counsel or we can make them an issue of contention in our lives and live out our lives in misery. The choice is ours. We make it and we live with it.

Many people try to excuse their bad behavior and attitude on their sinful character and nature. It is true that we cannot change our natural sinful condition. It is also true that we, by our choices, have shaped much of our character and many of our natural responses are a result of our choices. All men have the same nature, yet, not all men respond the same to a given situation which is proof that our reactions are a result of choice not our uncontrollable nature.

While we cannot change our nature we can change our behavior. Jesus gives us the characteristics of a happy man in Matthew chapter five. It is clear that these characteristics are the result of choices. Those characteristics are: poor in spirit, mourn (lack of pride), meek (gentle), hunger and thirst after righteousness, merciful, pure in heart and peacemakers. We can     build these characteristics in our life or we can develop our sinful nature. The decision is ours. We truly cannot blame God or others for what we are. We are the result of our choices.

Joshua’s clarion call to Israel, to choose their God (Joshua 24:15), has resounded down through the centuries and is as loud and meaningful today as it was when he first spoke. Like Joshua and Israel, we all serve and follow the God of creation, or the gods of this world. It is our choice. We need to be mindful that the natural results of following someone shape our character to resemble theirs. Yes it is true. Our own nature reflects the nature of the God or gods we serve and follow. Choose wisely!

Jesus instructed His followers to count the cost of discipleship before they made the choice to be one of His disciples. Notice His warning. “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.” (Luke 14:28-30 RSV) Jesus wanted His followers to think through their decision to follow Him. Failure is often the result of hasty decisions that are not meticulously thought through and the results of such chose’s are sometimes unchangeable.

Good choices and bad choices are not a matter of luck or happenchance. Bad choices are often the result of wrong information or a lack thereof. Instead of researching the question we usually just ask some disinterested person what they think and then go along with their thoughtless choice. Good choices are most often the result of a lot of thought, counsel and prayer. If we are making more bad choices than good ones we need to rethink our decision making operations.

We all are the result of the choices that we have made. We cannot change the past. We may have the opportunity to change ourselves and our future to some degree. If any change is to occur in our life it will begin with the choices that we make now and in the future. Before we make any change in our life let us consider the results and count the cost. Failure to count the cost is often a recipe for failure and nothing is more defeating than failure. Failure puts doubts in our mind about our abilities to succeed in other areas of our life and often causes us to take the easy road of least resistance.

Responsibility, accountability, dependability and reliability are character traits that must be developed in our lives by choice. No one is born with these characteristics. We are born with a sin nature that denies and defies these wonderful personalities. Our natural instincts tells us to pass the buck, look out for number one, don’t be responsible for others and put it off as long as possible. If we are not careful others will take advantage of our evil nature and use us for their advantage.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.” (Psalms 1:1-3)

Be responsible!

Be responsible for all that you do.

Make all things righteous from hat to shoe.

Let a pure heart control the mind.

Be certain no work is left undone behind.

Make sure that you have given your all,

When the trumpet sound and heaven calls.

We feel happy when we are able to do good to ourselves and to our fellows. We are glad when people treat us well. We feel proud about  ourselves when we received    approval and praise from others due to  some achivements we made.  We feel sense of fulfillment.

However , there are times when we are tempted to do something bad  and we give in to it. This gives us temporary feeling of happiness. But after realizing that what we have done does not really please us or other people around us , the feeling of happiness is suddenly changed into a feeling of guilt , regret and sadness.

A sure sign to know if our action is good is to find out if it makes us and  the people around us happy. We feel at peace and there is harmony within our relationships with other people. The purity of our actions is important to make this certain.

Purity is the condition of being clean and pure. It is the state of being free from anything that corrupts the mnd. Purity is being clean in our thoughts, words and deeds. To be clean in our thoughts is to  think well of ourselves and of others. To be clean in our words is to say only good things that can help a person grow. To be clean in our deeds or actions is to do something that will improve a person’s life. Purity is refraining from bad thoughts ,words .actions and desires.  Bad thoughts , bad words,  bad actions and  bad desires  hurts us and the people around us.

Purity is not acquired . It is a gift from God that can only be made possible through a solid prayer life. It protects the sacredness of the human body in which God dwells. Purity is a responsibility towards ourselves and towards other people . It is having good intentions always. It is thinking and doing what will help us and other people live a good and decent life. 

Life is one of those races in primary school where we have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If marble falls, there is no point in coming first. What is the use of acheiving the highest academic goals if we are going to lose our beloved once? Our striving is only worth it if there is harmony in our life. There must be balance between spiritualism and materialism. Our disire will never end as it is like drinking salty water to quench the thirst. The more we drink the more thirsty we are.

Why do we need to take life so seriously? We can’t even take a needle along with us when we die forget about the wealth that we accumulate with lots of hardwork. Your body is like a guest house and soul is like a guest. Guest the mind will leave guest house the body sooner or later. Try to be contented. The most richest person in the world is the he who have contentment. He has nothing, yet he has everything.

It is ok to bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, take leave from work. Enjoy with friends and family, fall in love, fight a little with your loved ones. We are human beings and not a programmed machines. Don’t be so serious, be sincere.

Happiness is just at your doorstep. You can feel the happiness in rain, sunshine or wind. You need to feel the wind blowing your hair. You need to feel rain on your face. Play with the children. Smile on their face will make you happy because smile is contagious. Be completely in the present and enjoy the simple things. These are simple things but could bring immense pleasure and happiness in your life. And remember they are for free. You need not go looking for happiness outside. It is within you. That is waiting to come up by experiencing simple things of nature.

 Don’t think about the future because that will cause worry and fear. Who has seen the future? Don’t think of the past because that you will make you guilty. But enjoy the present. Give 100% attention in the present because that will give you a very big smile. Don’t forget to enjoy simple things. We have asked god for beautiful things but god has given us life so that we can enjoy all the beautiful things in the world.

Enjoy the simple things and you need not something big to make you happy. Life is made up of moments and not by the number of years. Make each minute of your life a beautiful moment. You have the present.

The other articles by the same author:

1. Three ways to make money: 

2. How to deal with breakup?

3. First love

4. Make the world a better place

5. Live in the present

Well in my opinion, I don’t think revenge is sweeter than honey. I don’t think revenge will give any pleasure, happiness, satisfaction.  Instead it will bring more worries, tensions, enemies and some times threats too.I really don’t believe in taking revenge. Better forget it and then be usual.

Say somebody has done some harm to you or hurt you. Then if I want to take revenge, then you will first struggle to get the correct time to revenge him. You will think of it again and again which will divert your concentration. Then when you get chance you will take revenge may be by doing some harm intense or light and that may be a success or failure. If it is a success, at that moment you may get a kind of satisfaction which is momentary. But do you think that particular person be quit and tolerate? No he or she wont. He will try to revenge you back. That will give fear and threats to you. You won’t have peace in your mind.You will have to be prepared to face it. When he or she has revenged you back again you will rise. So it is going to be a cycle that will never end.

It is always better that we tolerate when others does harm or hurts you instead of keeping it in mind and trying to take revenge. It is torture to our self. Tolerate, forgive and forget it.

Have faith in you to overcome from inferiority complex, disbelief, fear, and lack of confidence.

Following are the sure cure steps to overcome from aforesaid attitudes:

             Have Healthiest, Happiest and most powerful thoughts

I have faith…. nothing shall be impossible for me

The footfall to a acknowledged alliance is communication. I apperceive of bodies who are still affiliated and they don’t alike beddy-bye in the aforementioned bed calm – they both accept their abstracted rooms. You don’t appetite this to happen, and the best way to anticipate this is with acceptable communication.

Communication is what it’s all about as a bedmate and wife. If you can accommodate acceptable communication, again you angle a acceptable adventitious of accepting your alliance aftermost for the continued run. You don’t appetite to be the brace that looks acceptable on the alfresco but on the central things aren’t as acceptable as they assume – so accumulate this in mind.

To accomplish as a bedmate and wife, acceptable advice is necessary. If there are any differences amid you two, be abiding to allocution it out so that you guys can boldness an issues that abide amid the two of you. Your alliance can be fabricated successful, but it aloof requires both of you actuality on the aforementioned folio in agreement of talking to anniversary other.

Another affair that you charge to do as a bedmate and wife is to go out on dates. If you booty a aiguille into acknowledged marriages, you will acquisition that they accept commodity alleged a “date night” area they go out and accept fun with anniversary other. I currently go out on date nights all the time with my woman, and it has accurate to be the affair that holds our accord together.

Do you and your apron sit bottomward at the table and eat banquet together? If not again you should. If you accept kids, bistro at the kitchen table and accepting the accomplished ancestors there is a acceptable way to advance the ancestors unit. Bonds will be created and eventually you all will get acclimatized to accepting banquet together. I apperceive of families who don’t eat at the table calm and because of it they’re not as abutting they should be.

You don’t accept to let this appear to you. Accomplish it a point to sit bottomward with your ancestors and accept important conversations. As a bedmate and wife team, this is important. Not alone will this strengthen your family, but it will strengthen your alliance as able-bodied – so accumulate this in mind.

As a bedmate and wife, you accept to be committed to anniversary and accomplish sacrifices in adjustment to accomplish your alliance work. There are all sorts of things that you can do to advance your marriage, and the tips in this commodity are aloof a few of them. Be abiding to accumulate these tips in apperception whenever you feel the afterglow of your alliance crumbling away.

1. The pleasant life
This is a life of enjoyment, concerned with having as many pleasures as possible and having the skills to “amplify” these pleasures. It’s what we usually think of as “fun’ – happiness from moment to moment.

2. The engaged life
This is about involving yourself fully in life and all its activities (such as love of learning or courage) and using these in work, friendship and parenting. If we recraft these aspects of our life carefully enough, we should be able to enjoy more moments of deep absorption or “flow” (akin to being “in the groove” or “at one with the music”).

3. The meaningful life
This is about using signature strengths in becoming involved in something bigger than yourself – perhaps through environmental movements or religious beliefs.

Most people travel all three paths to some degree. But while a little pleasure makes life, well, pleasant, it’s usually not enough to bring inner contentment. If pleasure is all there is, sooner or later most people will taste disappointment and emptiness. The engaged life and the meaningful life, although not always imbued with positive emotions, are a surer path to life satisfaction and a more secure ticket to deep happiness.

The stolen merchandise had come from the Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky area and the pawn shop owner was arrested for breaking a city ordinance.

I just thought that this story was crazy and unreal; that is a whole lot of money to be recovered and some of the items found in the shop were bizarre, especially the Male Enhancement product, From time to time I would see this cheesy commercials on television late at night about a man driving all across town with a huge smile on his face. Then there were other men with huge smiles on their face and I could not understand why they were smiling; perhaps they were enjoying the wonderful weather.

Then I did an internet search and found out what Extenze was all about; I had to admit that I had a sheepish grin on my face. Ok, call me Rose Nyland (Betty White) but I thought that perhaps the product was a mood altering substance.

Well I suppose that if this substance would increase a man’s rod, that would make everyone happy! But I keep on shaking my head and wondering how many Extenze packets were actually confiscated from the pawn shop; must have been thousands! I shudder to think!

Source: http://www.allaboutnews.net

 The happy Extenze man! Gee, if only life was like this! (Google)

I used to believe that happiness was largely determined by our life’s circumstances.  I got caught up in that trap of thinking “when” this or that happened, I would be happier.  I used to compare my situation to the situations of others who seemed to have an easier or better life and wish for my circumstances to be different.  I had not found happiness.

I found happiness in Africa.  When I was visiting children in orphanages in Africa, children who did not have their health, enough food, a change of clothing, or even a family, had joy.  In a village in Africa is where I saw true joy for the first time in my life.  Spending time with these remarkable children, whose faces were lit up and made beautiful by this pure joy, true happiness, I realized that happiness was a choice and it was something that I could choose too.

An easy way to be happy is instead of looking at people who you perceive have more than you do, look at people who have less than you do.  By doing so, you will accomplish two things.  You will appreciate your own blessings more by realizing that there are others who have less than you do or have circumstances more difficult than your own.  Secondly, by taking notice of those less fortunate than yourself, you will hopefully be spurred on to help in some way.  Volunteering your time, resources, money, and knowledge is another way to find happiness.  Giving is the best way to receive.

The simplest, yet most difficult way to be happy is to decide to be every day.  This means that no matter what curves or difficulties your day throws at you, choosing over and over to see the positives in a situation is the only way to find that joy.

Other important keys to happiness are attitude and perspective.  Recently, I was discussing with my husband how happy I was that 2010 was almost over because it had been such a difficult year for us.  As I listed the year’s challenges, I realized that they were also symbolic of the year’s miracles and blessings.  During 2010, my parents had gotten divorced after 40 years of marriage, our oldest daughter had been sick with a lung disease for 8 months and had almost died, and my mother-in-law had also been ill and we had almost lost her, among other challenges throughout the year.  However, my parents are each doing well now, our daughter’s new medication seems to be working and we are blessed to have her in our lives every day, and my mother-in-law is stronger and healthier than she has been in years.  These are praises and deserve to be seen as such instead of focusing on the negative.  It is all a matter of perspective.  

A positive attitude is also a choice.  Regardless of your circumstances, even in times of loss or illness, a positive attitude will help you to get through it.  Seeing the humour in the everyday is critical in getting through life’s hard times.

Having faith is also helpful in happiness.  The Bible speaks of true joy being found in the Lord.  Prayer can be a tool in finding that joy, as can worship.

I have come to the conclusion that happiness has very little to do with love or money or health (though certainly the presence of these things can help) and everything to do with choice.  If AIDS stricken orphans can find happiness in their present circumstances, so can we all!