Is it possible for you to be relaxed in a given situation where others are totally stressed and frustrated?

Yes, it is very possible.

What we have here is one given situation with two frames of mind: Their stressed and frustrated frame of mind, and your relaxed and happy frame of mind.

How can that be possible? Why aren’t you both wriggling in pain, feeling unhappy and all stressed out?

The answer is very simple.

You are both seeing the same situation but with a different mentality, a different state of mind. It is how you perceive the situation to be, not how or what the situation actually is that make all the difference.

So how can you stay calm when you find yourself in a ‘wrong’ situation, or when times seem to be hard?

You have probably heard that ‘what you focus on expands’. If you focus on the unhappy things in life, inevitably the bad will increase. However, if you focus on the pleasant and happy things in your life you will be happy and relaxed most of the time. I say most of the time because life will test you and throw at you some curved balls. But, again, it is up to you how you react to those curved balls.

Life is full of choices. It is those choices that you make that will affect your live in the short and long term.

So why not live your life by making optimistic, cheerful and positive choices.

Take responsibility for your life and make the choices that make you happy. If you are stuck in a traffic jam and you are late for a meeting or a job interview, does cursing and slamming the steering wheel make the traffic jam go away? No. And, as I said earlier, what you focus on expands, you will get even more stressed and frustrated.

Instead, what not relax, focus on phoning and informing the relevant people that you are running late, and imagine yourself sitting calmly during the meeting or the interview. See yourself, in a large movie screen 6 feet away from you in full colour, smiling and acting in the best way.

You can watch others get more and more uptight, stressed out and frustrated. But not you. You are calm and collected. Your state of mind is relaxed, happy and focused on the happy things in your life, traffic jam or not.

By the way, you can use this movie screen method in all areas in your life. Instead of focusing on the things in life that you don’t want, focus on what it is that you do want. Focus on what makes you relaxed and happy. Whenever you float into the unhappy side, shake yourself out of it and get right back to the happy you.

Let me tell you this, you will only be as happy or as sad as you think you are. Think happy and you will be happy, think you are sad and going through hard times, you will be sad and your hard times will escalate. That’s how the brain works.

All thoughts lead to feelings. Make full use of your ability to direct your thoughts and enjoy life, your life as you want it to be.