Back to the issue at hand, ‘Cyber Bullying’. That’s something we expect from kids, but not from mature, grownups. Especially when we all willingly joined this website, for pretty much the same exact reasons. Hurting our close friends with harsh behavior, wasn’t a motive that any one came on here for. So, lets get back to business, treating all others the exact same way that we desire for them to treat us. With kindness, respect, courteously, using tender loving care and most of all, thinking a long time, before we flip out those harsh words we can never take back, with our key-board. Let’s not hurt each other, O.K.? I’ve already hurt too many people in my life. It’s time for me to change. How about you?

It’s the same thing year after year. Month after month: Day after day: Week after week:

Why is it when women find out that their man is cheating, they blame the other woman?

It makes no sense to me, some men do lie and if your prince charming claims he will never cheat then thanks be to god. But there is a good percentage of males that do cheat and lie and try to get what they want when they want it and lying is the first thing they will do.

Get mad at that the person who did all the cheating and lying. Set him straight. Leave her alone and leave her name just way her parents gave it to her: Do not go out your way to damage her and do not aim to hurt her every time you feel hurt by this man.

It’s not her fault the fault lays with the man and what he carries between his legs.

There are some females that actually keep moaning and groaning about the other woman.

She was only told a story and she believe the story and she was wined and dined just like you or maybe even a little bit more dining went on.

You have no idea what he told the other women in the first place and your mad at her and you are out to hurt her and destroy her and take her life away.

What is even worst woman get into name calling one another and name bashing to other people about the other woman.

This is so wrong on so many levels, he cheated he lied and he conceive her that she was the only one just like he told you at one time you are the only one for him.

I had a man say he do not share he should of said I am a cheater and a liar and you are not the only girl in my life.

I had a man say he has a roommate and come to find out the roommate and he shared the same bed and was a she.

Woman direct your anger at him, there are even books about how to get even with the man that cheated on you.

I wrote a book, funny think about this book, it was a journal or diary that a friend convince me into getting published.

I actually was so depressed and heartbroken over this cheating lying man that I was depressed;

People write in journals all the time to express their feelings.

My journal is so over loaded with so many things from good times to bad times, to a daydreams I had and did not want to forget I even have notes about night mares to just random thoughts.

Some things in my journal are fiction and some things are nonfiction. But it’s my journal.

I can write in the journal all that I would like, my x told me “he has never heard any one write such nonsense down in a journal or diary”.

He told me he cannot tell me what to do but he has no cause to write anything down. I wanted to say you should write down all the names of the woman you sleep with because one day it might come back to haunt you.

I do not dislike the woman he cheated on with me or any other woman he had any type of sexual relations with and I know the other woman most likely don’t deserve the treatment he gave her or them or me. I actually spoke to him on several occasions and told him he needs to learn how to be faithful and fair to woman.

Doesn’t it make sense to direct your anger on the one that cheated ladies? 

What is even worse is that the women go around calling the other woman all types of names and dishonoring her as a woman and it was not even her that started the cheating, she did not force him to seek her out.

If she seek him out it was up to him at that moment to say I am in relationship and I do not cheat.

But how many men will actually say that to another woman when he sees something he likes.

Men are greedy and selfish this is a known fact. I wonder if that why a man thought of Polygamy in the first place. Maybe it might not be so bad for other woman to get so mad over there man with another woman, If they were in a polygamist relationship?

Polygamy is a marriage or relationships in which a spouse may have more than one mate at the same time.

See if the entire women group are on the same path there could not be enough reason to get mad and if they all have their equal share of time spent with the man who could get mad.

In this case there could be a issue over who could be wife number one that is about all, all under one roof or at least living next door to one another.

Let’s talk about all the cat fights that have taken place with women, where is the man during the fight. Most likely off with another woman.

I knew a man who had two women pregnant at the same time, now the  two woman disliked one another and were mad at one another.

Funny thing about this whole thing both of them were carrying a part of him inside them and he was off with another woman while they were at his family gathering looking at one another across a room mad:

Then when the man gets the message that these women were fighting over him, he gets some type of joy out of it.

A relationship between men and woman should be two and not three or four or five.

My x made a good point there is no one else with us when we are in the bed.

Exactly my point he was right there was only me and him in my bed but after he got out my bed he went to another women’s bed.

And in that bed was him and her and that is there relationship.

I told my x one time why don’t he buy a big house and place us all in and it might a lot cheaper on him.

Since he is convince I am never leaving him and that she is just a roommate and he does not sleep with other woman.

His choice of words, sleep with other woman.

Now since he feels that he does not close his eyes for rest he not sleeping with other woman. He will not say if he had sexual realtionships with other woman I assume he has his own set of values going on in his mind.

I wish a woman would confront me about a man that I am seeing, I am going to direct her right back to him.

Its not my fault and I am not going to sit and debate about what this man feels.

Now I will debate with him, and I will set the record straight with him and I will argue with him about his cheating ways.

But I have no cause to debate with her or fight with her and at the end of the day we are human begins with feeling and emotions.

I going to vent to him every time he comes in my presence and I will let him know clear and proud I am not second and he is liar and a cheater.

Why do women get mad at the other woman for and then there friends even get mad at the woman and call her names and they form a gang party in the intentions of hurting her and dishonoring her Why?

I can fully understand being mad and I can see why you are anger but I don’t understand why you drive so much pain and energy in hurting the other woman.

The anger should be directed directly to him and only him. He is the person who lied and cheated and he is the same man that you were personal with not her.

She had her own relationship with him that he destroyed not the woman.

I was so mad and hurt I took all my notes and journal and some imagination and wrote a book.

It was such a release of all the things my hand wanted to do too him but I am not fond of jail.

His betrayal was deep that two years later I still have a woman disliking me for no good reason and I have her friends formed a posses to destroy me.

It’s like they are on a witch hunt for my life.

It’s like they want to burn me at the stake and then once I am burn to ashes I think these same woman would burn my ashes just to make me disappear.

I am not insecure with the person I am and the person I was.

I am secure to know that I made a big mistakes and I have let him know full well that he was wrong and he is lair and a cheater and he is a man whore.

Like I told him he owes me a big explanation and then he begins to scream and yell and then he either marches out or hang up the phone.

Why you mad at me when you was the cheater in this whole thing.

I don’t have and will not have any respect for a woman who is so gun hoe on destroying the other woman.

If you want to stay in the relationship with the man after you know he cheated and still do things for him and still put up with his mess then you get what you deserve.

When it happened to me, I stopped all sexual relationships with him and he then said I was an ice princess and evil doer and everyone lies on him.

I told him he was penis slinger and he got even madder. I told him to go get a check up and he got even madder.

Now he mad at me and he was the one cheating. I was little confused and dazed at his whole behavior:

But once again he is just a male, when I decided to see him again he came to me after even knowing that  I wrote a book and I am clear on what I did and did not do and he had the nerve to say why did you write the book;

I explain to him actually I never intended on writing a book, I had all these thoughts and feelings written down in a journal and out of statement from a friend they told me to try my hand at writing.

I never intended on hurting any other woman. We all were hurt by him and we all have the scars to prove what type of damage he left us with in our hearts.

I told him once he should apologize to all the women he lied and cheated on and that god counts a woman’s sorrows.

He said no one cried over him and every one lies on him:

So for the woman out here mad at the other woman, do not be because both of you need to look at the taste of man that has caught both of your eyes.

Keep in mind woman there is special place in hell for women who do not help other women out.

See women men get laid and women get screwed.

It’s better to trust another women instinct than a man reason.

One is not born a woman, one becomes a woman, help build one another up and stop bringing one another down.

Keep in mind woman a man is as good as he has to be and a woman is bad as she dares.

I have also learn that there are some things men can make a woman do, love harder, make them suffer, or turn them into literature, it’s because of men that women dislike one another.

Another thing women fighting is essentially a masculine idea, a woman’s weapon against that man is her tongue.

At any age there are problems, some of us wear our problems on our sleeves and other people hide their issues and walk around like there life is perfect.

What is a perfect life is the bigger question.

One February I woke up scared and alone and had about ten dollars to my name that I actually could not afford to use or lose.

I had the devil knocking on every single door of my life.

My own blood turned against me and I had no one to cry too;

What could I do I planned my death, I had a plan I was going to go in every store I could go into and steal sleeping pills;

I had a car note no money, I had a roof and no rent money, I had lights on and did not have light money to keep the lights on, I had gas in the car which was only going to take me to work a couple of days.

I had food in the cabinet had no appetite for food.

No one understands anything I was saying to them it seems like the words that come out my mouth were harsh and I was becoming abrasive.

The man I was deeply in love was not leaving his other woman and I had the nerve to think because he did things to my body that only I and he could experience the high of life time off one another body was unbelievable

As I tried to put my plan in motion how about I got caught stealing the sleeping pills then what?

How about if I took all the sleeping pills? End up still alive and taken to a hospital then I would have a co pay and medical bills.

I can’t afford that.

Who in their right mind would try to kill there self’s to end up with more bills?

My bills I got today I don’t even have the money for so what’s the next plan.

Ok I drive off a cliff saw it in a movie;

That’s the plan;

Then I thought about how about I drive off the cliff and I don’t kill myself then I get picked up and taken to the hospital and all broken up and after all that I might even end up with a ticket from the police department and more hospital bills and then I would of ended up missing work and have no job after all that.

Then I would still have the car note and now deductible that needed to be paid for the car to get fix, and the tow charges.

Wrong plan again, I can’t even kill myself without issues.

How sad and funny life is!.

I was given guidance in a most unusual fashion by an stranger.

What the stranger told me did nothing less than changes my life and my future and also made me through every plan out the window of killing myself.

He said, can we exchange numbers with one another.

He smiled and I was taken back.

I have no clue to what or who he was and why he felt the need to ask me for my number.

Here I stood before him in grey hooded sweat shirt with baggie jeans, sneakers and my hair pulled back in a ponytail.

I felt for so long that I was just plain ugly and not worthy of any one loving me for me and accepting me in all my errors of life.

When he called he said do you know you are royal?

When I asked what he meant, the stranger who has become my new fond friend said when I saw you walk in the door there was a chill that went through me and when you walked over to your friend those big brown eyes did something to me.

He said stop judging yourself, there are too many people all ready hurting you with words, with absent of words:

Do you sometimes find yourself unconsciously judging your actions by level of importance? He said and you should not You have made it this far in life and there is more to your life then people who have tried to understand you or accept you for the person you are today.

The same people who judge you are also pointing fingers at their own self’s.

You are an easy target because you give too much, you are too friendly at times. You eagerness of life is too much for them to grasp with their minds.

You are not meant to be like everyone else and you will never fit in with the common crowd because god has placed on your royal drips of water to wear over your eyes.

You don’t see what we see and what you see you want to clean up and make better.

I frowned a bit, not certain I understood what he was saying and second who does he think I am a freak or crazy.

“For instance, “he continued, “the time you spend with friends is important, but the time you spend with family, is more important but you do not trust your own family and they used harsh words at you before and against you that your trust level with them is out the window and you actually feel bad and want to love them through good times and bad times but they refuse to accept you as you and they also refuse to allow you to be you.

You know that everything matters -that every move counts as much as any other -you are trying to live your life with a permanent purpose.

A life of permanent purpose will make you a better person to be able to give back to the world want you think we all need.

He said stop being afraid to speak your mind, just don’t speak your mind with people who will turn your words against you and stay away from the devil and negative people.

You can demand to be respect for who you are and not what they want you to be in your life.

I understand fully that my very value as person is not what people try to claim me as and if I am the focus on every person topic in their life then that shows how much their life is worth.

You are a author today, A church member giving your time talent and treasure back every Sunday you are invest in the records of the lord memoirs, you are  steady workers, you have people who don’t know you wishing to be part of your company of your life.

You have survived death, birth, being burned up with fire as a child, abuse, rape, drugs, alcohol, eviction, abandonment, going to jail, not dying in car crashes, not dying in child birth, and lack of money, sexual abuse, and health issues.

You have survived being homeless with an infant.

Must ultimately being judged by your own blood family which never took the time out to love you for just who you are.

Don’t look back over your faults and stop letting those people with finger pointing be the subject of your life.

As I hung up the phone with tears in my eyes and shoulders heavy with grief and relief.

.

I finally realized that people come into my life for a reason and the ones who will stay turn to me are the ones here for a season.

I am not planning any more death wishes and I am no longer trying to plan my funeral.

When the lord finds fit to take me I pray he takes me while I am sleeping!

When the lord finds fit to take me I pray it’s on a Sunday night after I been to his house to work and give back my time and talent.

My life has permanent purpose and for those who hate me and dislike me you can keep on kicking rocks.

My prayers go out for my family, my job, my coworkers, my church members, my friends, and any business I go to, this nation, my god and all the animals on the planet.

My prayers go out to my haters go kick rocks and maybe you will break a toe and feel the pain you have left in my world. But I will be that person who will still want to help you with your wounds.

People keep in mind every move we make and every action we take, matters not just for us, but for all of us…and for all time, so the next time you want to hurt someone with words think about the affect you will leave with them.

I was planning my death while you were gloating on my failures.

What did I do that was so wrong,
To make him bruise me, his fists so strong,
I do not love him any less,
Even though my face is a mess.

I know he does not mean to hurt me so,
But if only I had the strength to get up and go.
Im just too afraid, and  I can not walk,
And if I left, I know he would stalk.

I just feel so sick, and my ribs are sore,
I pray he won’t kick me any more.
I try to sleep each night in my bed as I lay,
But I dread tomorrow, having to face another day…….

She is a very sweet girl. She’s pretty, kind, kinda smart- there’s nothing wrong with her. You were in love with her. Next thing you know, your feelings for her starts to fade. You really feel guilty because you can’t reciprocate the way she loves you. So you want a breakup.

Breaking up with a very nice person is such a piece of work. No matter how insensitive you are, it will never be easy for you to hurt someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Here are some of the common alibis used in such an ordeal:

“You are such a nice person and I’m just not. I believe you deserve someone better.”

“There is nothing wrong with you but maybe we are just too different. We’d better stop this before it’s too late.”

“I feel guilty that many guys out there can make you happier than I do so I’d better let you go.”

Most people in such a breakup dilemma emphasize two things- “There is nothing wrong with you” and “I’m not the right one for you”. This is the best way to start when you want to break up with a very nice person, who  will be very hurt for sure. Aside from this, there are some things you need to consider.

After breaking up, don’t make a new relationship right away (or at least don’t let anyone know) unless you want to intentionally hurt your ex. Chances are a very offended ex will seek revenge. It’s not that you’re a weakling but you just don’t want to be bothered by such a hassle.

You can, or should, still be friends with your ex. But the thing is never give false hopes to your ex. Your ex, who is still in love with you, tends to unreasonably expect or fantasize that you’re just wandering around and one day, you will get back. Don’t entertain that unless you have the intention to get back with your ex. That means that you should stop the things you used to do with your ex. For example, you texted your ex using your term of endearment. Your hopelessly devoted ex will think that you’re still in love.

A hopelessly devoted ex will do everything- blackmail, lies, bribery- just to get you back. Never entertain such not even once, or even slight. If your ex texted that he or she will commit suicide if you won’t reconcile, never reply. Report it instead to the proper authorities- your ex’s family.

Instead of keeping up with a boyfriend or girlfriend that you no longer love, don’t hesitate to break up. Expect that will hurt him or her so have to do it nicely by telling that the fault was yours. After the breakup, don’t give him or her even the slightest notion that you still want reconciliation.

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“In the beginning was the word, and the word was God” – all religions agree on this. God has given divinity to the words, and has made them powerful. Impressions created by words penetrate deeper than X-rays and lodge themselves in your innermost self.

One can see image of words through the expressions on the speaker’s face, and that gives life to them. More the passion they are uttered with, longer do they live.

A few words and an accompanying look can give birth to a good relationship or ruin a fine one.

We find how some people get their things done and are the objects of envy for others. They radiate a positive energy wherever they go. No one can say “no” to them. How do they achieve this? Does personality count in their success in interpersonal relationships? More than 90% of them achieve this by their words. Is it hard to believe?

Think before you talk: use thoughtful words:

Some people are good at this. For others it is achieved only through practice. To think is to avoid hurting others inadvertently.

Have a good vocabulary of nice words, positive and real mood up lifters:

I am not suggesting hypocrisy in words or gestures. Any intelligent person can make out falsehood in the other. Feel the words you utter and use kind words generously.

Learn the vocabulary of appreciation:

How do you feel when someone appreciates you for your creativity or talent? You feel you have been injected with vitamins. You want to exhibit more of you. You try harder. Transfer this positive energy to others as well. Try to appreciate each one for what he is. Each one has at least one great quality.

Sport a smile when you talk:

Our worry is that the smile may not be returned. Do not worry about that. Your returns will definitely be positive.

Well disposed critic’s vocabulary:

If a need arises to criticise, start with good words of praise. Mention the mistake only once and lay stress on the solution and avoiding it. End with friendly words.

Do not use argumentative words:

Give up the temptation to argue and put others down. Words are powerful, but human ego is more powerful. At the most, you can express your points convincingly with nice words.

Do not hesitate to express gratitude:

The most powerful word you can add to your daily vocabulary is “thanks”. Even small acts of kindness should be rewarded with words. Say it with all your heart, ungrudgingly.

Aviod tempting words that ridicule:

Words of sarcasm and ridicule are fun. But they kill relationships instantly.

No other place is better than home to start practising your new vocabulary of winning words.

I would love to repeat mother Teresa’s words here. “Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless.”  

 There are many situations when everyone, even the people who feel they have lost that sudden spark of interest for dating in general, may find that they’re bored or want something new. There could be other situations where someone may feel that they’re relationship is on the edge of turning into a hellbound mess in the longrun. Whether you want to be short and to the point, honest, or want to leave without that damned feeling of regret a few weeks later after the action is taken, then you must go over the many options people insist on avoiding, and would rather act on impulse. There isn’t necessarily a wrong way, because based on the famous song, ”50 Way to Leave your Lover” by the oldies idol known as Paul Simon, whichever way you do it, there is only one motive: to get out. Whether you want to remain friends or feel remorse for your soon-to-be former lover, your one goal in the back of your head is to get out of that relationship, you just need to find a way to do it on your own terms.

Here are some of the options you could consider before acting on impulse:

1. Walk out leaving nothing but a memory.

Regardless of the situation you may come face-to-face with, if your partner has wronged you in ways such as being unfaithful or abuse, whether it be verbal or physical, this is the best action to go with to leave hard feelings out the window until karma catches up later. This is the best way to act, because when you feel wronged, you feel the need to seek closure in a way that links to revenge regardless of how extreme. You feel a slight amount of hatred for the situation, maybe not your lover, but the situation itself. You may act as you need to later, but this is the best way to get out of there immediately without feeling the need to make decisions in a way you will regret and maybe hurt yourself in a sense later.

2. Have ‘the talk’

As cliche as this may seem, having the talk is the best option if you are bored with your relationship, and because it’s you, or not necessarily anyone being to blame, this is the best option if you want to cut ties with your lover without any hard feelings sneaking up on the both of you, this is the best way to do it in order to move on in the long run. Of course your lover is going to hurt but they are going to eventually realize that no one here is to blame and that some things just come and go.

3. Ask to see other people.

This applies to the second option as well. If you’re bored with your relationship, but don’t necessarily feel the need to cut off ties immediately because you’re not sure if it’s something you want, then date around and allow him the same rights. If in the end you realize you’ve had fun, then no one compares, then maybe you might find that you wanted to be with your lover after all, and if it doesn’t turn out that way, then I’m sure both of you who have had the time to warm up to others may find it easier to let things go and start fresh with someone new because it’s likely you’ve gotten some closure.

4. Make it meaningful.

This is the best option if you are breaking up over circumstances such as distance,sickness, or terms where it’s almost impossible to make this relationship work. The reason this works is the exact reason why people would think it wouldn’t. Believe it or not, when someone is dumped, they hurt for the reason that they feel as if their relationship was one-sided, as if they were the only one in love and as if they were living a lie, so it makes it harder for them to move on as they continue to beat themselves up. If you take your lover out for one last date, letting them know ahead of time that this is their last, maybe the place where you first met, showing something that reminds them that you really did appreciate them and the time you spent together. It may hurt, but it’s going to allow them to realize that it’s not because you didn’t care about them, but because sometimes love just isn’t enough when it comes to reality. They will appreciate it later.

5.Consider having an open relationship.

This may be similar to seeing other people, but it’s actually far from it. If you two allow eachother to see other people as you focus on your own independent lives while getting the satisfaction from where you want it, whether it be emotional or physical, you are fixing and mending your own lives. If jealous does stir, you must remember the lover will be mending. If you decide later, by taking this option, that you do not wish to be with them, this time passing will cause the emotions to die down and make it easier to cut ties and leave for good, and both of you will be in good condition.

That sums up the basics of good options that would be a good idea to consider if wanting to leave your lover, especially if both of you are sensitive. It will always hurt, regardless of the option, this you must remember. But these are to do it in a way that does not a show a sign of disrespect or the act of being inconsiderate to their feelings.

Most people have these kind of issues. Which originated from their families. Some families measure the importance of their members based on what they have achieved and not on what they have become. Material things weighs more than reaching the stage of being a GOOD Person. As it is always an issue of what good have you given the family in its material sense-MONEY.

To be honest to have members of the family who have a good nature is worth more than a chest of gold. As this kind of wealth is a priceless legacy which the whole family could be proud of.

It projects the innate greatness of the whole clan and it makes the blood line flowing with  pride and honour for generations to come.

All of the pretentious behaviour manifest when one becomes a  pleaser. You are unique and you must go out and discover yourself responsibly. There would be twist and turns but eventually you would find your way and become a “learned”.

Start doing things in your own responsible way and prove to your family that you can be effective and productive without seeking approval from them. You are able to make your dream happen.

Strong will, determination, confidence, skills and your faith will pull everything through for you. There is no point in wasting time.

Make a plan, do your research, prepare the feasibility study, implement the plan with options for contingency.

Once  you learn how to survive on your own and live independently away from the intervention of your family, you could say that, it is a start of a HAPPY life.

You no longer need to project a strong facade to earn everybody’s respect. As you would have that once you gather your act together and do things responsibly with a touch of professionalism- that would be your magic formula towards a blissful start. Everybody would be mesmerized and amazed with your awesome transformation.

Why don’t you try it?

Though there are many theories supporting many different viewpoints as to why aggression is so wide spread, I happen to agree with Albert Bandura that observational learning is a powerful thing.  Observational learning has 4 important steps: “(1) paying attention and perceiving the most critical features of another person’s behavior, (2) remembering the behavior, (3) repeating the action, and (4) being motivated to learn and carry out the behavior in the future” (209).   Some people argue that aggression is a natural reaction.  I tend to agree with that, but only partially.  I believe that anger is the natural reaction, but the way aggression is exacted is typically replicated.

However I think there is another theory at play here. We learned about Operant Conditioning, which by definition is “Learning in which a voluntary response is strengthened or weakened, depending on its favorable or unfavorable consequences” (191).   For this theory, aggression is the voluntary response and this aggression is either strengthened or weakened depending on its favorable or unfavorable consequences.  Aggression is typically rewarded… For example: If a child is playing a video game and the goal of the game is to shoot the opposing team, by showing their aggression and winning, their aggressive behavior is rewarded.  Another example is if someone, child or adult, witnesses someone else displaying anger/aggression towards someone else in an effort to make them do what they want, and that person does it, the person viewing this situation has now learned that a favorable response yields from a display of aggression.

But there are ways to teach that aggression is not an appropriate response.  And that is through the use of a positive reinforcer.  The positive reinforcer can be a congratulatory word for choosing something other than aggression to handle anger, or even a tangible reward of some sort.  Either way if there is a reinforcement for taking other avenues other than aggression and if those reinforcers or strong enough or desirable enough, the action of making the choice against aggression will continue.  If the only reinforcement they get is the confirmation that their actions will produce the desired results, the aggression will continue.

Reference source: Feldman, Robert S. (2002). Understanding Psychology. Amherst, Massachusetts: McGraw-Hill, Sixth Edition