Organising a benefit night is easier than it sounds. There are a lot of places that allow you to hold events there for free, as it is easy for them to make money at the bar if they have a lot of people in there who are going to be buying drinks. You could do with teaming up with some other people who want to raise money for the same charity, as they would be able to sell some tickets as well and this would mean that you should be able to fill the room for the night. You should make the tickets free, but then say that if you attend, you have to bring some kind of raffle prize and an item of food for the buffet. Each ticket should say on it what you would like each person to bring, and this will prevent too many of the same thing being brought by many different people. The way that you would then make the money would be by selling raffle tickets on the night, maybe playing bingo and selling cards, and then playing small games with cash prizes for which you could easily sell tickets on the day of the event.

If you live locally to schools, which a lot of people do, then you would find that they are usually very willing to help out with events which would be of benefit to a charity. If you ask them, I am sure that they would be willing to hold a non uniform day at some point, usually towards the end of the term, and they would be able to charge each child £1 to be able to come to school in their own clothes. You could also encorporate things like colouring competitions or raffles in with the day, and this should mean that you are able to make a fair amount of money for the charity on the day. There are a lot of businesses that would be happy to help you with anything that you might be doing, as they would benefit from the publicically from the event. It would help if you had local newspapers involved, as they would then be able to post the stories and make the events more public. The more publicity you get from people, the more likely you are to be able to raise the money that you are aiming to. A lot of charities don’t have a great number of fundraisers, so every single pound that you raise can mean a lot for the people who are involved in that charity. They will be very grateful for the amount of help that you have been giving to them. 

 A friend posted this onto my Face Book this morning.  Lovely.  I also get inspired all the time by sayings and quotes.

We get inspired by beauty and youth every day.  And we want to grasp it in our hands.  There is a bit of beauty in every household.

I found this image from Pinter est.  Love it.  Would be tempted to make one as a joke gift for my sister’s husband for a Christmas Gag gift.  I couldn’t imagine the coffee beans going into the microwave, but I’m sure it would hold up.  But to get it rinsed, that could be a different story.

Who are you inspired by?  Who or what in your life drives you to create?  What motivates you to do what you do?  It doesn’t matter what you do, but we all are inspired from something.

Are you one of those people who loves to flip through a magazine to get inspired?  Are you a picture person or are you text?  What draws you to the page?  Is it enough to make you stay?  Or are you the one who flips through pages quickly?

Sometimes I am the one who is flipping through a magazine rather quickly.  But as I go, I discover a page here and there that I want to linger in a moment longer.  And then the reading grips me with a vise and I’m there for the duration.

I love seeing the pretty pictures.  Sometimes, I can flip through quick and other times, I find I need to study the picture a little longer to see how it is made.  And as I sit in my chair (usually at a waiting room), I find myself asking that question.  ”Could I make that?”  Or, “That would look perfect in my dining room.”  Where can I get it?

Or can I come up with something similar and unique because it is my own.

And sometimes it is a celebrity who we are inspired by.  Which celebrities are your favorites?  Do you have a whole bunch of favorites or does just one all time favorite sum it up for you?  What is it about them that makes you love them or their style?  Is there one actor or actress that you love that you think nobody else measures up to?

And if you could have been one of them, who would you have switched places with?  And how do you think they would have lived if they had filled your shoes?  Vice versa.  What would you have done with their life?  Maybe I’ve just given you a great story to write.  Or maybe I’ll write it someday.  Hmm…..

Too much on my plate right now.

Here’s a funny little story that I read from one of my brother’s friends on face book.  He dreamed that he was at a yard sale and bought a bunch of socks that were in a fish bowl.  I laughed and told him if I saw them at a yard sale like that tomorrow, I would know who to send them to.  And then another friend told him, “Have fun with your smelly, stinky dream socks.”  Cute.

That’s the beauty of face book.  You get to have a good laugh with your family and friends no matter how far away you live from them.

Well, as I think about things, I would have to say that I love Katherine Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn and Elizabeth Taylor.  Those would be my favorite older actresses or iconic figures that I would look up to.  And when I die, maybe I will float on over and have a cup of tea with them and a Sarah Lee pound cake fer sure.  

Who knows, I’m not dead yet.  And I don’t plan on going until I get my face on one of those Smucker’s jars.  By then, someone else will be announcing the old geezers that we will be.

Ode to be old and sitting in a rocking chair like Whistler’s mother or Grandma Moses.  Now she lived a full life.

I guess my favorite modern actresses would be, Kristen Stewart, Amanda Seyfried, Julia Roberts, Paltrow, Kate Winslet and I’m sure others.

I really like a lot of different ones.  It kind of depends on the movie.  I basically like watching a lot of different ones and decide if I think they are acting well in the movie.  And sometimes I fall asleep on a movie and it becomes meaningless.

I’m a fan of the Twilight movies.  Anything Gothic will do it for me.  I love those movies, Gothic art fascinates me.  I always wish my art would be Gothic, but it ends up being pretty, nostalgic and lovingly done.  But I do have some works that can be borderline.  Like a doll with no eyes.  That would do it.

Anything that has photographic atmosphere really inspires me.  

It’s not just the people that inspire me.  It’s the images, the artwork, the photography, the way a certain thing looks.

Sometimes we can go somewhere and look at our surroundings and just get inspired.  Do you ever find yourself walking into an antique shop or somewhere else that you want to visualize just for the sake of ideas?  I love looking at antique shops, but usually don’t go because I don’t have the money for their pricey old stuff.  And once in a while I will purchase something.  Maybe once a year or two.

And how many times do you just get inspired by your family and friends?  Quite often, I would think.  And if you are a writer like I am, we can get ideas from absolutely anywhere.  Maybe it was something that Aunt Susan said to you yesterday that maybe made you think to yourself, “Oohh…. you just gave me an awesome idea.”  ”Your spoon you are holding is giving me an outrageous thought.  I’m gonna bang the crap out of it and write all my wedding guests names on them!!!”

That is a Pinter est idea by the way.  If you haven’t already checked it out, go and get an invite.  It’s lots of fun.

Have you ever thought that a simple photograph could begin a story for you?  I’ve known other authors and poets who have used this idea in their poetry.  I gave it a whirl a few times.  It’s kind of fun.

Or if you get five of your friends to try this out, I bet you all would come up with something completely different.  As we all perceive things in a different way.

If you were to be really reckless and wild, which actress or actor would you be?  Or even more fun, which family or friend would you be? 

Which one would you most likely not want to be like?  Is there one that seems most infamous to you?  If you were to tell one of them what you thought of them, which one would you most likely tell them a piece of your mind?

I think for me it would be Lindsay Lohan.  She has really made a mess of herself.  And there’s no need.  I once admired her movies, back in the day when she was good, but she has really spiralled downhill for me to get disgusted.  And I kind of got disgusted when she came out of the closet.

I’m not judgemental.  If people are gay, that’s their choice.  I like Ellen and she’s gay.  I like her because she is funny.  I love her show.

I’m also a fan of the Today Show and Rachel Ray.  I don’t mind Nate Berkus.  I can’t stand Dr. Phil and Judge Judy.  I’m glad she was never my mother.  I’ll switch the station quick usually.  Anderson Cooper is okay, but something about that show bugs me to no end.

My job is EBay, so I get to be home to watch these and then be there for my kids when they are home.

And speaking of kids, how many times have they inspired you?  Countless times, I’m sure.  Kids inspire the world over and over.  We are amazed at their capabilities, their profound feelings and emotions.  They wear their hearts on a string.  They can be as blunt as can be.  They are not afraid to tell you what they think.

Sometimes we are so surprised at what came out of their mouths.  And yes, sometimes we look over and think, “Is that my child?  She’s not mine, really.  Oh, bleep…….”  Your face turns more red than the tomatoes in your sandwich.  Or strawberries……. or the bright red undies that you are wearing and nobody knows it.

Nope, I’m not wearing red today.  Maybe tomorrow.  If I remember.

What was the person, place or thing that made you do the wildest thing you’ve ever done?  

I’m not sure what my wildest thing I’ve ever done.  Maybe to walk the streets of New York City at night once and not quite knowing where I was going?  I thought I was going to get lost, but I found my way to my college friends and the movie theater we were supposed to all meet at.  Thank-god.

I was never one to do a really crazy thing.  Well, actually now that I think of it, I have done something crazy.  It’s how I met my current boyfriend (and my future one and only).  But I’m not sure if I’m ready to tell anyone what I did.  I did tell one or two old friends and I made the mistake of telling my sister.  And I caught holy hell for it.

I guess the only thing I will be willing to confess is that I’m a little like my character, Sarah in my Black Roses book.  Let’s just say, I can relate to her.  Although, thank god there has never been a murder in my life.

It’s in the past anyway.  And I got lucky and met a wonderful man.  Yay!!!!

Anyway, when my sister started snapping at me, the phone went about a foot away from my ear.   Yup.  Yup. Yup.  Over and done with, Martha.  I was bad, and now I’m good.  ha ha….

I may not be famous, but I’ve lived a colorful life so far.  And one of the best things was being a stay at home mom.

And how many moms have you been inspired by in your life?  Many I bet.

In your close surroundings, who has inspired you the most?  Has there ever been anyone in your life that you have been trying to be like your whole life?  There is for me.

My mother.  I loved her and my whole life will be on being who she was and making sure my children grow up knowing who she was.  She is my biggest icon in this whole life.

And my children are also my biggest inspiration.  And my biggest accomplishment.  Four little miracles that make me smile every day.

And it is so true that we meet the other half in our life by so many mysterious ways.  I guess it all makes for an interesting story.  How did you meet the love of your life?  Write about it and tell your kids.

One of my writer friends from an old writing class was writing her memoirs for her grandchildren.  She wanted them to know what it was like for her growing up in a certain neighborhood.

Basically all over the world, we are inspired.  Each and every day.  It’s what we make of it that counts in our lives.

Being inspired by other people, places and things makes us grow as our authentic selves.  And we turn it into something that is uniquely ours.

But hearing stories, seeing images and being inspired makes the world go round.  And we are left with raw emotions that make us feel something.  And suddenly we are not quite who we were before.  New thoughts form.

Jennifer Jo Fay

Copyrighted May 16, 2012

                                An Evangeline Wilde doll.  I get inspired by these Gothic dolls.

 There’s always room to be inspired by a new blooming rose.  Women should have a rose for every day.  In any shape or form.

An eerie picture for me to be inspired by.  Perhaps a new mystery?  You never know.

Love her.  Okay, maybe someday I will write the story about a young woman who switches places with her.  It could even be a young girl in the future who wants to know what her life is like and Katherine Hepburn wakes up inside her casket and desires to live life again and this young girl meets her in a dream and asks her to experience her young life.

Okay, there’s my food for thought today.  Or maybe it starts out that two dead women (me and Katherine Hepburn and her two friends, Audrey and Liz are having tea spread out on a fancy black cobweb picnic table above James Dean’s grave.  Mind you while he is smoking pot over yonder with Marilyn Monroe.) and she and I decide to live life over again in one an other’s lives.

                                                               Man Ray’s photograph.

                                                        Amanda Seyfried.  I love her eyes.  I would love to someday just draw her eyes and then come up with something else completely my own afterwards.  But to begin with the inspiration.  I could even make it haunted if I want.

I also love the old pictures.  I get inspired by old pictures all the time.

• Sponsored Events. This is something that a lot of people do, and there is no reason why you couldn’t do it as well. Basically, you tell people what you are planning to do, and then they pledge to give you money based on conditions of completing the event that you said you would. Some sponsor one set amount, and others change the amount depending on how much you manage to achieve. Some ideas of what could be sponsored: walk, run, bungee, swim, skip, slim, skydive, cycle, hair shave, crawl, wheelbarrow race, marathon, 5K, 10K, mountain climb, bean bath, silence, stay awake, stand up, stay still, tweet, sing, play (music instrument), play (sport), face paint.
• Sales. If you work somewhere that you would be able to have access to places, such as in an office, or you attend somewhere like a church, you might want to organise a sale. This could be anything, such as a bake sale or a bring and buy sale in aid of your chosen charity. You might find that more people are willing to help out as they may have things lying around at home that they have wanted to get rid of. Someone’s trash is another’s treasure! If you have a talent for making things like crafts, then you could make these and sell them in aid of your charity. Most towns have craft fairs from time to time, and you might be able to put up a stall at one of these.
• Get the community involved. Local schools are a fantastic way to get some money raised. If you speak to most of them, they will be willing to hold a non uniform day in aid of your charity, as it doesn’t take too much effort for them to do so and is good for them to be seen supporting charities. The idea here is that each child/staff pays £1 to be able to come in their own clothes that day, and all profits go to the charity. If you choose to do a non uniform day, then it might be good if you went into the school to give a short talk about your charity, although this is not completely necessary in all circumstances. Other ideas for local schools could be to set up things like colouring competitions as this is something that a lot of children get excited about taking part in. 
• eBay. A lot of charities are listed on eBay and you are able to donate £1 per purchase to your chosen charity by default. I set my eBay to sponsor my charity (The Cystic Fibrosis Trust) and have donated over £100 just from my eBay sales over the course of the last two years, which is something that you really don’t notice at the time but all of the money adds up.
• Local Press. If you choose to do anything like a bake sale or a sponsored event, it might be a good idea to get in touch with your local press to see if there is anything that you can do in order to publicise your event or your charity. Most local papers will be willing to give you a small section of their paper, and some even do full page things with photos. 

One of the things that you have to remember is that contacts are key. When you get people saying that they’re going to help you, keep them in mind for future events because they might feel as though they would be able to help you again. Over the course of my fundraising, I have built up a very healthy database of contacts who I know that I can always call upon if I want to do anything which requires any kind of help. 
If you are involved with a charity, feel free to tweet/share this link to your followers. The more people who are aware about things that they can do to raise money, the more money we will be able to raise in the future. 

Your Mother

        This one is simple. If you don’t know this than I am not sure how you are still alive to be reading this.

Your Wife’s/Girlfriend’s Mother

        Do not let your partner know you are doing this. Just do it. It’s an awesome way to get some kudo points with your lady and she will also be excited that you, more than likely, remembered her as well.

Your female counter-part

        Ok, although this seems like common sense, I need to explain. Say your wife or girlfriend is pregnant and has not given birth yet. She could only be a few months knocked-up, it does not matter! Her hormones are going bonkers and her body is changing and she feels this way and she feels that way and frankly she does not even know what she’s feeling. BUT, I bet that if you don’t acknowledge her on her first “pre-mother’s day” that your going to hear about it either immediately or 2 years down the road when your in the middle of an argument about chewing too loud!

Close family members and friends

        This one isn’t a requirement but it’s a nice way to show you care. If your are close to anyone that has given birth, adopted, or raised children in any way then let her know that you notice.

What do I get her? She already has everything she needs. Will a generic card from wal-mart and half-dead flowers work?

        Don’t be a cheap-ass and don’t waste your money. This is not valentines day or her birthday. It’s actually something very important to her.
   
        If you have the cash to go buy her some overpriced jewelry or a new car and all of the over the top things that money can buy, then go do it and stop reading this. But if you’re here looking for unique, and truly thoughtful, ideas or inspiration on what to get the Mothers in your life then follow along.

1. Manicure and pedicure for her and her BFF.

2. Her favorite movie and breakfast in bed.

3. A gym membership to an all girls gym… use caution. If she has been mentioning this then it’s a good idea. The “all girls” gym maybe a nice sales pitch.

4. A romantic evening out, free of the kids, just you and her. Make it fun and be original. Do dinner at her favorite place and then skip the traditional movie and head out sight seeing or to a coffee shoppe for some dessert. Try to find something local and outside, weather permitting of course . Maybe even rent a decent hotel room to go back to and have some much needed alone time.

5. “It’s the little things that matter the most!” Yes it is cliché and your significant other has said it a million times… that’s because it’s true. Think of little things that she has said in passing such as “oh that’s neat” or “I could really use”. Something that she said in passing, while she thought you were not listening, is always a must have item.

6. Surprise her with tickets to her favorite band in concert. It doesn’t matter if the concert is on the day of or after Mother’s Day. Guaranteed she is posting a picture of the tickets on Facebook to brag to her friends that her “husband just got us two tickets to go see ADELE!!!! ZOMG!!!” And please do not get embarrassed by this, your lady is happy right?

7. Girls love to feel like you are uber-attracted to them and they love to shop! Gift card to Victoria’s Secret or any similar stores. And go with her…. ah, the catch. Females love your input on these things. Sometimes they use it, sometimes they don’t, but when it comes to lingerie does it really matter?

8. Accessories for her smart-phone. A cute bedazzled case, a wristlet made for her phone, a hands-free call system for the car, etc. The phone is an accessory to her and in some ways is more important than her favorite purse. They will not admit it, but girls are the nerds when it comes to their smart-phones.

BE THOUGHTFUL OR CRASH AND BURN

        At the end of the day you just want your special lady to know she is an awesome person and that you admire how great of a Mother she is. Remember women pride themselves on their role as a Mother, not on getting older, so this is the most special day of the year to her. You do not have to go crazy and over-spend to show your appreciation, and in no way should you. Make a plan, make a budget, and make it heartfelt. Stick to these three rules and create the best Mother’s Day gift you can offer to the woman (or women) that make your life go round.

          When I was growing up in Chicago in the 1940s I wrote school reports in long hand, listened to the radio for entertainment, had a telephone number with a name and just four numbers (ours was Wellington 2272) and paid five cents for a candy bar.  There were no cell phones, computers, Ipods, Smart phones except maybe in science fiction.

        Today, there are so many new things, things that weren’t even dreamed of  fifty years ago.  I wonder all the time …what next?  What seemingly impossible things will be commonplace in the future?  I try to think, what else could there possibly be?   What do we need or what would we like?    I’ve come up with a few ideas; I hope someone remembers, fifty years from now (when I’m not around anymore) that I thought of them first. 

        Cars and places to park them are a big issue today; there are more and more cars everyday and finding a parking place is next to impossible in some locations (like Miami Beach where I live)    The solution?  Cars will have a  little button on the dashboard;  push the button and the car miniaturizes, becomes a third of it’s size so it  can easily slide into a tiny parking space. Push it again and the car returns to normal size.

           Another parking solution would  be Airborne parking.     Every driver will have a sort of clicker or gadget, click it and the car rises up into the air and hovers over the street, sort of parking in space.  When it’s time to leave, click again and the car comes down to the street.  I don’t know   how cars in space will avoid crashing into each other but that’s a detail which can, I’m positive, be worked out .

            Gasoline is getting more and more expensive so cars will operate on “urine” power instead of gasoline.  Why not use a natural product like urine to power cars?  There has to be a way and there is never ending supply of the product

           Finally, someone will invent   a Facelift Pill.   No more surgery, cutting, shots, needles, creams.  Just take this little pill and voila, a smooth, unwrinkled, tight (but natural-looking ) face

                 Do these things sound silly, impractical, the stuff of dreams?      Well, I think it’s impossible  that I’m  sitting on the beach in Florida talking on a cell phone to my son in France and  listening to one hundred and two songs on an instrument small enough to fit into the palm of my hand and posting a message to my friend in Seattle and getting an instant reply but, I’m doing them  so I think anything else is possible.     

      Meanwhile, I’m going to sit back, relax and enjoy and use every new thing that comes along . I’m curious to know if anyone else has  ideas for the future?  Is so, send them along to Barbara@mysteryonthemenu.com. 

2. How would the world be different now if the South had won the civil war?

3. What could the Earth be capable of if we could harness the complete power of our sun?

4. What if no religions had ever persevered?

5. If the paranormal were to really be documented and presented, how would the entire world, believers and non-believers, respond?

I know this isn’t much, but it really gets the mind going and leaping towards all sorts of different worldly opportunities. So much could change in the blink of an eye, creating either a perfect existence, or a land enveloped in chaos.

A Government does has the right to restrict information when it is a physical threat to the community, as well as when it is intellectual or cultural threats. The reason being, the authorities have been entrusted with the duties of protecting the community. The argument for curing citizens’ right is almost always opposed, and has connotations of “censorship” which consequently leads to an emotionally charged, and thus perhaps an irrational counter-argument to curbing their citizens’ rights to information.  If one allows their mind to be opened to new and unfamiliar philosophical ideas, a compelling case can be made for a government’s rights to implement some form of curbing of the citizens’ right to information, or as many call it censorship.

Authorities, such as the government, have the duty to protect the community. A simplified surmise of this argument may demonstrate the case that may be made for censorship: ideas lead to actions, and bad ideas often lead to bad acts, bringing harm to individuals and possibly societies as a whole, to ruin. However, this thesis may have a single, yet particularly important, flaw. This being that what if we cannot identify what is bad; therefore clearly we cannot know either bad ideas or bad acts. The perception of what is good and evil (bad), of what is right and wrong, is a key constituent of the fabric of censorship. A common perception of the advocates of censorship is that they claim to know good and evil exhaustively, and that they deliver moral proclamations on everything in existence. However, this is not so, as good and evil has much to do with perspective. Conversely, if we are able to identify certain evils unanimously, and the advocacy of those evils seems likely to encourage people to commit them, the next logical step would be to prohibit such advocacy, should it not? If to commit certain evils is harmful to society and thus a crime, then a logical counter-measure would be to prevent the advocacy and encouragement of such evils to be perfectly lawful. Governments, and communities, should be able to protect themselves, and should act autonomously to restrain the source of evil.

Complete freedom of information is simply a means by which those with money and influence remake society at the expense of those without these things. This is so, due to the anti-censorship argument which glorifies individualism, albeit at the expense of the common good. This is naturally to the benefit of the rich, and at the expense of the poor. The reason being that the rich and influential promote and endorse ideas that challenge traditional ways of life, and it is primarily the poor who suffer on their account. The society we live in should exist to protect and promote the welfare of all, and more importantly the poor and the working-class person. Essentially it is only those with sufficient money and ennui that have the luxury of time and resources to produce ideas that corrupt or demeaning to the society we live in, and thus the adverse effects of freedom of information are far more significant upon closer examination.

Censorship (Photo credit: IsaacMao)

Thus, the primary point of counter-argument is the largely based on primal fear and the emotional connotations that are derived from curbing of a citizens’ rights to information, which is so, due the heavily stigmatisation of the word ‘censorship’. The case for censorship has many merits; however this steep stigmatism needs to be first overcome. Theoretically, censorship and curbing of a citizen right can be done effectively, if a consensus is reached. Therein lies the problem however, as a no consensus of what is worthy of public knowledge can be agreed upon unanimously. The abstract idea of curbing a citizen’s right to information for the benefit of the public can be recognized as a legitimate practice. The overwhelming reason for its lack of practicality is sadly the truth that man has critical weakness of not being able to control power in many instances throughout history. Many failed attempts at controlling the flow of public information have been throughout the times, from the Nazi’s in Germany to the Communists in the Soviet Union. These examples made in history make it clear that humankind‘s nature to abuse power does not make censorship a viable option in modern society. However, it does not hurt to order our thoughts logically, even if we cannot put it into practice immediately.

Hey, guys! I’m just encouraging everyone to get involved in their community by:

• Joining a club or an organization that helps the community 
• Donating to charities or families in need
• Grab a few friends to help plan a project to clean the neighborhood 
• Help elderly people around the house or yard (spring is coming up so they will need help cleaning and with yard work!)
• Volunteer at a local soup kitchen or humane society

There are so many ways to help out. I recently helped out with the local “Empty Bowls Project” and it was a great experience. Next month, I will be helping with another project and I will be volunteering at the humane society. 

You will be surprised at how great you feel after doing something good.

So you might be asking “Hey, what’s in it for me?”… Well, honestly, does itREALLY have to be all about you? I mean come on, guys! You aren’t going to be rewarded for everything you do in life. Can’t you just be happy with yourself for doing something good?

At the high school I go to, you have to have 50 hours of community service to graduate. And I think its great! So many people look at it as “Damn, I actually have to do work and not get paid!”. Haha. Well, in my opinion the more you do for your community helps you become a better person. 

Do yourself and everyone else a favor and get involved.

Cue the candy, the cards, the flowers, the chocolate — but wait, is that really what women want on Valentine’s Day? And how about men — are they just doing it to please us, or are they into the holiday hoopla, too? There’s no question that Valentine’s Day has become pressure-filled for both couples and singles alike, says Logan Levkoff, MS, a sexologist and relationship expert. “Those red heart and chocolate gift boxes do make us anxious to find romance—even when we’re content with being single.”

It’s an all-out scramble for Valentine’s Day plans — lest we feel like being the sole lame duck sitting home dateless on the national night of romance (thanks, Hallmark!). Single girls go out in groups; guys even meet up with friends for drinks to avoid the “solo on Valentine’s Day” stigma. But according to Levkoff, spending the night with pals is actually a healthy way for singles to respond to the pressure. “Hanging out with friends is always better than being on a date with someone you aren’t interested in,” she says.

Fair enough. But how do couples get sucked into the stress, as well, when they already have somebody special? For women, it’s simple: “We spend so much time taking care of everyone else’s needs. Valentine’s Day is the one day where we know it’s just about us,” says Levkoff. Plus, the real world is romance-starved; even basic common courtesy and chivalry can seem like endangered species in modern society. Many women are still raised on fairytales that lead us to believe that there are princes out there who are supposed to treat us like princesses, but most men aren’t exactly riding around on white horses ready to sweep us off our feet — even if they have already put a ring on our finger.

So, does that mean men dread Valentine’s Day? Far from it! “Some surveys are showing that men are making a bigger deal out of it these days. Think about it, it’s the one opportunity for them to be romantic and affectionate. Women understand that we don’t need one day to do that,” explains Levkoff. So — surprise! Most guys really do enjoy showering you with gifts and expressing their innermost emotions (but unfortunately many need a holiday to get it out of them).

So if you’re a woman who wants flowers on your desk and teddy bears at your door, you probably love Valentine’s Day, and your guy probably loves knowing exactly what to do to please you (if only for 24 hours!). But if money’s tight, the babysitter’s busy or you both just feel overwhelmed, remember: “It’s the little things that count,” says Levkoff. “Remember how we used to make mix tapes for our boyfriends or girlfriends when we were teens?” suggests Levkoff, “Imagine how delighted you would be if your guy took the time to make a CD or an iPod playlist just for you!” When it comes to pleasing him on Valentine’s Day, Levkoff firmly believes that what most men really want is a little extra kindness to reinforce your bond. “Men like thoughtful gifts, too” she says, “But of course, a little sex doesn’t hurt.”

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Here are some tips to help and avoid those situations.  The child who left home happy, ready for a new day to go to school, see friends, learn new things and challenge themselves to new opportunities does not return in the same mood or with the same attitude.  We have all had those days but as adults we can analyze then and deal with them, but children do not understand why they are feeling so blue and down and upset and angry.  If your child did not get enough sleep the night before school or a weekend activity, he or she will no doubt have a tough day at hand to deal with everyday routines and most likely will be in “meltdown mood.”

Set an after-school time line – Then stick to the routine. If your child knows exactly what to expect and knows the routine of the household, and when to expect it, he is less apt to be surprised and spout off.Keeping a consistent routine is also a key part of children learning boundaries and limits.

Get some food into him -immediately -  If your child is already exhausted no doubt he probably has low blood sugar adding to the mix of being tired and cranky.  This would be the perfect recipe for a disaster and meltdown, so make sure you prepare a small snack and a glass of milk as soon as possible to give him that much needed energy boost.  It does work wonders…

Defuse homework tantrums – Do not wait too long to do homework. Give your child a bite to eat, a little playtime, and then get right to it. If his tired brain can’t deal, calm him by saying you had to go through this as well when you were a child and then help him with the assignment as best as possible and perhaps breaking it down into segments. Make certain to give your child praise while doing his homework so that he is encouraged to continue on and make progress to the completion.

Tackle the tough stuff first -  Instead of spending an hour trying to get your kid to brush his teeth and put on pajamas and have him do it right after dinner; before any fun pre-bed activities and after his shower or bath time.

Do something really mellow right before bed

Try turning off the lights and making shadows on the wall with a flashlight. Reading a books in bed will also calm the child down and prepare him for sleep.  Many times children have favorite books and if your child has had a difficult day, grab that favorite book and share the reading together as it will be very soothing and makes for sweet dreams.