I make it a point now, that whenever I venture out into the world I listen to people and the conversations they have with one another. It is amusing to me to hear what people say about any given topic. It is also amusing to me because I don’t fit in one side or the other when it comes to arguments. I’m the person sitting there and watching from between the cracks in the sidewalk while one side battles the other on whatever the subject matter is.

So this one viewpoint I have on people is the difference between independence and co-dependence. I’m not sure if I fit in either one because I have a bit of both of these types of dependence that make up my character. The type of dependence in this article is what happens when people are in relationships and the types of dependence a partner may or may not have.

So independence in a relationship to me means, you don’t need to be with your partner 24/7. It also means you don’t have to rely o your partner financially and emotionally all the time. They don’t need someone’s approval or consent to so do something. They can love who they wish whether it is one person or more or something like that. I can classify myself in this area I think, at least partially.

Co-dependence is someone that needs someone there with them all the time! They need support emotionally and financially. Without it their life is meaningless! They need approval and consent and can’t move on without it. They need someone to hold and love, even if the love they are feeling isn’t exactly real. Though to be fair that’s an extreme viewpoint and doesn’t necessarily describe ever codependent person out there. By the way, I can put my own self in this category partially as well.

(I think a person should love themselves before they can love anyone else!)

As for these two forms of dependence I think having a little bit of both to make up your own personal character is a good thing. In a relationship I believe everyone should have some form of independence and co-dependence. If not, what’s the point of the relationship?

“The international crimes tribunal indicted Ghulam Azam for five types of crimes he committed during 1971 Liberation War” fighting with the Pakistani troops, prosecuting lawyer Syed Rezaur Rahman said. The charges came under five categories including conspiracy , planning, incitement, complicity and murder during the nine-month war. The panel set June 5 for starting the trial against Azam, who pleaded not guilty.

Azam was the former chief of Jamaat-e-Islami in the then East Pakistan wing of the fundamentalist party and provincial minister under the Pakistani junta in 1971.

The prosecution earlier described him as the “key collaborator” of the then Pakistani junta alleging he masterminded the alleged atrocities including genocides or mass murders of Bengalis during the Liberation War.

Azam’s party opposed Bangladesh’s 1971 independence with many of its activists joining the auxiliary forces of Pakistani troops. If proved guilty Azam could be sentenced to death.

Our heroes have fought for just causes in our beautiful country, for centuries great men who fought and gave their lives for the suffering people and devoted to abide by the provisions of its leaders, to support the most disadvantaged, but the situation rather to change., every day the interests of those who want to be above all, the law of the jungle, taking advantage of the working class, humble and the poor people, destroying our youth, leading to a lack of values ​​by environment in which they are living, fought tooth and nail to overcome and to perform in the races they choose to survive.
Survival is becoming increasingly difficult due to the obstacles that are put on the same outdated educational systems elsewhere. There are many ”Ninis” (neither study nor work, or anything) because at the end of their careers can not find work disappointing because they are well leveraged, (supported by powerful) achieve 3 or 4 jobs and charged as working 48 hours a day. No chance for new generations. We blame them, but society itself is responsible for killing the illusions of t he students, not being honest by giving them opportunity for their knowledge and tired of sight to those who sacrifice to study with determination.

Both in work and in contests of knowledge and skills not valued, but heliked by juries or recommended by the high social spheres, with favoritism and racism is everywhere.
If our heroes revived in this century would fall impudent deception and how vain was the struggle for independence and justice for the underdog. Daily to crucify Jesus ungrateful, shedding its glorious crimson blood, we rebelled against the divine command: Love each other

Jefferson Memorial in Washington D.C. with excerpts from the Declaration of Independence in background (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Being a human rights advocate, Jefferson’s life was a riddle. He loathed slavery yet he owned slaves. He abhorred interbreeding but sired children with one of his slaves, Sally Hemings. He has an unbounded optimism in Americans to make democracy work. But he was convinced by other Founding Fathers to allow the issue of slavery to be set aside in order to have a fallible union of slave and “free” states. Thomas Jefferson lived a long life amidst these contradictions, and in a way was a man better judged today not by his acts but by what he wrote.

His most celebrated lines are carved inside a structure inspired by the Greek Pantheon on white Georgia marble palisades that surround a huge bronze statue. Because Jefferson regarded the Declaration of Independence as his crowning accomplishment, one early plan for his memorial positioned it right across from the National Archives. Rather, it was built amidst the cherry trees on the Tidal Basin, and a copy of the Declaration was laid in the cornerstone.

After his public service, Jefferson retired to Monticello, his Virginia estate, where he spent the rest of his life writing, inventing, and creating. He passed away on the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence.

The Thomas Jefferson Memorial reflects its image on the Potomac River in Washington, D.C. The memorial honors the Nation’s 3rd President Thomas Jefferson who is considered the author of the Declaration of Independence. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Say less than 10% of the human population is able to think outside the box – create their own thought process and adhere to it, irrespective of norms or the status quo. Many times they hurt and sometimes they are slowed down, but most times they get the promotion because the boss recognizes the power of independence within them.

There are precious few – say less than 0.01% of people on the planet who realize the absolute truth: that there’s no box. And so they create their own boxes and make everyone else think inside, outside, or around what they have made. Gates, Soros, Buffet, Slim, Branson, Jobs, Zuckerberg… they blaze their own paths, and most the rest of us just follow!

While you may have some interests in common with your significant other (and you may even learn to like some interests of his that you didn’t care for before), by no means should you no longer participate in your beloved book club or annual girls’ trip just because you’re in a relationship.

2.  Keep up your friendships.

We all know that things tend to change when we get a man, but please…please…don’t throw the girlfriends to the side.  After all, if things don’t work out, who are you going to end up venting to?  And if they do work out, who will throw your bachelorette party, not to mention be a bridesmaid?

3.  Continue to learn new things. 

One of the best things about new relationships is learning about all the cool things that person is into and believes in (hence the reason those first few conversations tend to be 4+ hours long and you think of this as a sign or a “connection”). 

But once you’ve been in a serious relationship with someone, after a while, you learn almost everything about them (or so you think).  Continue improving your life (while maintaining your partner’s interest) by taking up a new hobby or experiencing new things.

4.  Give yourself some space away from your significant other.

No one said that relationships required you to be up under each other 24/7.  Time away is healthy for both you and the relationship.  Spend time with friends and family and don’t isolate yourself. 

Isolation can make you more dependent on your partner, which can end up pushing him away.  Hence, absence makes the heart.

5.  Take some time to be alone.

Some women can get so focused on their significant others—what he’s doing, what he’s thinking, and what he’s feeling—that they never take a moment to focus on themselves.  Take time to love yourself!

6.  Don’t be afraid to speak up.

It’s hard not to bring up issues in a relationship, especially when things are going relatively well, for fear of “rocking the boat.”  But if there’s something in the relationship that really bothers you, don’t just go with the flow. 

Be real about the issue and discuss it with your significant other.  Ignoring it won’t make it go away.  In fact, it could cause it fester into something much more significant.  It doesn’t take long before that mole hill makes it way into a mountain.

7.  Don’t quit having fun together.

I’m pretty sure that one of the things that attracted you to your significant other (and what attracted him to you) is the fact that you enjoyed each others’ company and that you could have fun together. 

Continue to date, continue to joke, and continue to laugh with each other.  Trust me when I say that fun and games will make your relationship just that much stronger.

Artist – Jim Aparo

An only in America story that starts with a proposition that seems to amount to just asking for trouble.

To celebrate their bicentenary, the US Government plans to have an old Civil War train travel round the States carrying various invaluable historic artefacts including the original Bill Of Rights and The Declaration Of Independence around the continent for all to see.

Batman, and the robotic Metal Men are assigned to travel too, both as security measures and to serve as living exhibits in their own right. What could possibly go wrong?

Just about everything really. The scholars sent to present papers relating to the rare documents prove to be disgruntled Native Americans who hijack the train to insist on the US plunder of their lands be put right at last. They capture Batman and strap him to the train’s cowcatcher, and send the Metal Men off on a wild-goose chase after their missing creator (A story-line running throughout their own comic strip is their search for their ever-absent inventor).

When an independent terrorist assault involving a hidden bomb on the train is raised, the Native Americans unite with the heroes to help save the day in a blaze of patriotic glory and the Native Americans are forgiven for their own impassioned protest activity– hooray. 

Arthur Chappell

Of course, a number of these problems could be worked out quite easily. However, choosing to deal with whatever type of relationship killer requires a lot of careful thought about the value of the relationship to you and whether or not it’s worth the trouble. Sometimes, in spite of all that hard work put into getting there, it would have been a better idea to simply cut off the losses and go on.

No one can literally list down all the possible things that could screw up your true love story. However, we can warn you about the things that are most likely to cause the demise of your coupledom. Here’s our list of the top 7 relationship killers:

 7. Friends and Family

Family and friends make up a huge part of your and your partner’s life. Not gelling in well with the people that share your mate’s life can often push your relationship to breaking point. It is almost impossible to adore everyone that she knows. However, you can maintain ‘friendly’ connections with the people that are closes to her life, such as her best friends and sister. It’s important if you want to keep the relation boat afloat.
Remember the long-winded disagreements about politics with her dad that turned quite serious? Or how you can’t stand being in the same room as her best friend? She’s going to need to choose at some point. No guarantee that she’ll take you side.

6. Too High Levels of Comfort

After couples have been together for a bit, they tend to become too comfortable around the other. Some will become like friends, instead of lovers. Intimacy falters. Routine and lifestyle becomes too boring. That’s when they start to let everything slide. Sex tends to fall of your agenda completely. Before you know it, one of you has become the person that’s stopping the other one from getting into a relationship with someone else.

5. Different Aims and Aspirations

As time passes, couples can start to drift away from each other if they are not careful. This may be because of no communication because of other things like careers taking precedence or it might be a symptom that the relation simply isn’t working out.
If the two of you are chasing different goals, like wanting to place roots where you’re located while your partner chases promotions that involve re-locations, there is clear jeopardy in the future.

4. The Past

People that want to live with their past often find it practically impossible to really move on. If either of you insists on comparing the present relationship to their former ones, the future doesn’t seem too good. While it is a good thing to learn from mistakes of the past, it’s never a good idea to treat them as blue prints for other relations. What you’ve got now is different from all other relationships you’ve previously had. Allow it to freely grow – away from your previous screw-ups.

3. Moving Way Too Fast

A healthy relationship doesn’t need to be egged on. It will progress in a completely natural fashion. While not progressing at a uniform speed all the time, relationships tend to move forward as both become more comfortable in each other’s companionship. It’s an instinctive, unspoken kind of thing. However, some seem to lack the basic instincts. Rushing to make your relation blossom can turn it into something neither of you are ready for… not just yet.

2. Independence/Dependence

Maintaining the correct balance between independence and dependence is quite tricky. Humans tend to feel smothered when they get too much of something. If the couple gets to a point where they’ve got nothing but each other in their lives, it’s time to back off a bit. Otherwise, one may start to feel that they need their space and resent the relationship for robbing them of their freedom.

1. Cheating

Nothing else can kill a relationship better than cheating. It’s the ultimate venom. Most couples will never survive such an ordeal. Initial betrayal felt when you find out your partner’s been cheating on you can leave your bonding dead and cold as stone while those bed sheets are cosy warm still.

Even if, working together as a couple, you manage to work past this bout of cheating, your relationship’s future doesn’t look too bright from here onwards. All that trust and honesty has had its brains blown out. Regardless of how many promises are made, no indiscretions will exist. Each partner naturally expects the other to fall in bed with a third person any day.

Waking in the streets, I spotted a graffiti that read Living alone makes us freer. Rather than making me gesture sourly, it put a smile on me. 

I don’t know whether you live alone or not. If alone, I don’t know what it has taught you, if it has. I don’t know whether you could agree on such a phrase written on the wall.

Taking on my experience, all I can say is that it isn’t this bad. Mind you, I differ between living alone and being a loner, in which second case I am not. 

I started on my independence as early as nineteen when I took my leave to London. At the very beginning, I lived with some others in the staff accommodation offered by the company I worked for. But finding that it was way too restrictive for a young girl who liked going out and about and liked entertaining at home, even if it was for a coffee and a chat, I left it to live on my own in a bedsit.

I found it grand to own my space, even though, it meant having to pay rents and utility bills. In the staff premises, we also had breakfast or tea, depending on our shifts as well as our room cleaned when we were on early one. Living on my own, I had to clean (thanks God, it was only a bedsit!) shop for food and to cook. I had to provide for myself in all possible ways. There was no one to whom I could go out of the room to cry them out “Please, come here! I need you!” Whether the sink got blocked  or the bulbs fused, it was me and only me to sort it out.  

Yet, it was good feeling to be able to tell a friend to go along for a coffee and a chat at any time, without having to mind the others.

I am not a loner and I love interacting as conversation is one of my favourite pastimes. I lived with my family and I had a long relationship for many years. When people ask me if I wouldn’t like to live with someone, because it is boring to live alone all the time. I don’t have much time to get bored, I may respond. Would I like living with someone else? Maybe. Trouble is that when we are adults, we become a bit more selective. Whereas, at 18 or 19 one is likely take on almost everything or everybody. I wouldn’t like to live with someone else for the sake of of not living alone.

As they say in temp job agencies as regards an applicant, They should fit in the profile!

There are good things about living alone than a family won’t be able to afford, such as certain foods. Since you’re alone, you may have the luxury of eating some of the best things, because you only need a small portion. Supermarkets and big chain shops have already noticed this trend by creating small portions of these foods that only a big family could have years ago. 

When travelling, one will always find a free seat or a free table at a restaurant to suit one’s likes.

Someone asked to me what if you get sick or have an accident. If one happens to catch a flu, one may go to the near shops for some food, for medicines to stay in bed warm with a book in the hands. If an accident, there is the telephone number one can call up at a cell phone at hand’s reach.

After all, we are born alone even if there’s doctor, nurse and midwife around us. When we die, we are also alone no matter how many turn up to our funeral. 

Therefore, it is up to us whether we take the most advantages of living on our own.  

Am I right or am I not?

Being a independent man shows he can hold his own. The worst thing a man can do is depend on  woman to take care of him, especially if he’s a loser. not having a job, moving in with a woman just for security and finances.

When a woman sees a strong independent man you could be the answers to all her prayers. Being able to take her out to dinner and she don’t have to pay for it all the time. You could develop a very loving strong relationship, behind every good man there is generally a strong woman. Independence is important, it is a strong point in a man that all women seek. There is no doubt that these days women like men who can take care of themselves, women like independent men more because there are qualities they can get from independent men.

When a man is able to buy his own clothes, supply his personal products and pay his own bills, it’s a very strong thing. Some men and women at the age 40 and over have not man or woman up yet. You have adult men and women still living with their mom and dad, but really are not independent. the worse thing you can do is move in together in a relationship with someone and totally depend on that person to take care of you completely plus, your unemployed.

A person that can’t hold their own makes it difficult for themselves. At the age o 60 you should be prepared for retirement, have a bank account well established and your own car. You should not be depending on your spouse or using them for finances. You need to have strength and confidence, a possible ability to escape your way through things. Being a responsible man is  all about being a part of manhood and being able to stand on your own two feet.