With no instant gleam of an improving economy, it is easy for people to lose motivation and lack the energy to pursue what they want in life. There are people who are so distraught with their financial state that some are simply trying to get their days over with. Some people do not even bother to plan for their future. If you find yourself lacking the drive to pursue your goals, perhaps you can consider these suggestions:

1. Clarify what you want to achieve in life.

Having clear cut goals is one of the best ways to motivate yourself. Make a habit of creating your do-lists to help you achieve the things you want to accomplish. Set a date when you want to finish a project and commit to it. Make a big mark on your calendar, tell your friend or your significant other about the changes that you want to happen and ask them to encourage you to reach your goals.

2. Change begins with small, easy steps.

If you are still reading this article, you must be wanting to create some changes in your life. Remember that no change can happen overnight. It all starts with the desire to change. Once you identify the things that you need to change in order to achieve your goals, think of small steps that can help you make the change happen. Think for example, how much time you have been spending in front of the TV lately. Perhaps those hours can be spent more creatively, more productively. One easy step is to lessen your TV watching hours today.

3. Clear your mind of distractions.

One good way to avoid the Monday blues is to take some time either before going to bed on Sunday night or early Monday morning to plan your day and your week. A quiet time for self-evaluation, meditation and even prayer can help you focus on the things that really matter. This is one way of getting your mind focused and ready for the rest of the day. During the day, you may encounter several distractions – emails, Facebook updates from friends or Tweets, phone calls, etc. When you encounter these, remind yourself that you need to concentrate on the tasks at hand. Keep your mind focused on your short and long term goals and believe in your own capacity to do the things that you deem important.

4. Exercise.

One of the things that can really perk you up is physical activity. If you think you can’t get motivated enough to go to the gym, start with a simple walk outside for a few minutes. Build the habit of waking up before anyone else, do some deep breathing and start your walk. If you work at your desk the whole day, walk around the office, or do some stretching exercises.

5. Reward yourself.

Every time you have accomplished an item on your do-list done, tick it off and give yourself a pat on the back. It may be a simple task such as taking the kids to school or packing a healthy snack for them. No matter how big or small your achievement is, feel good about it. Find reasons to celebrate with a good dinner or a self-treat such as a good massage or a manicure. If you find yourself working too hard, reward yourself with a well deserved holiday.

Although it is normal to experience times when your motivation is low, what is not normal is to constantly lack the energy or the drive to do anything. Remember not to lose sight of your goals. Think of what can really make you happy and go for it!

There are three reasons that I have identified as why we won’t reach for our dreams.  Actually, there are probably more, but I’m going to focus on three.  If you want to discuss more, feel free to comment below, or post your thoughts on your own bloody blog.

The first reason we don’t reach for our dream seems simple enough; we don’t have one.  Either life has kept us to busy trying to survive to actually dream, or we are too afraid to even think outside of the box into which we have allowed ourselves to be placed.  Which brings us to the second reason.  Fear of others.

We humans, for (some unGodly reason) have the lobster approach to life.  Whenever lobsters are in a bucket or tank together, there is no need for a lid.  Why?  Because if one tries to climb out, the others drag it down again.  We must stop this madness!  If you are allowing what someone else may think or say to hold you back, then you have allowed yourself to be their slave.  Strong word I know, but that is exactly what it is when you allow someone else to control you against your will.  If you are doing it to others, THEN STOP.  Consider yourself officially scolded.

This does not mean you should not seek wise counsel, just don’t attempt to receive counsel from lobsters that are in the same bucket you’re in.  Believe in your dream enough to risk failure.  Which brings us to reason number three; fear of failure.

Sometimes it is because we don’t think we’re good enough or smart enough that we don’t reach for our dreams.  Just think of this.  Albert Einstein once said that it wasn’t so much that he was smarter than everyone else, just that he stayed with the problems longer.  Thomas Edison didn’t stumble upon the light bulb.  He found thousands of ways that didn’t work before discovering the one way that did.

If you have a dream, go after it.  Don’t let your weaker areas stop you.  Opening a restaurant, for example, doesn’t require you to be a world class chef.  You just need you hire a good cook.  You will need to learn something about the business.  Perhaps study other restaurants while you raise funds.

The major things in reaching your dreams are these:

1)  Have one.  Ask yourself what makes you happy.  What would you do for free?  I believe your dream will come from this type of introspection.

2)  Stop listening to people without a dream.  They are like lobsters who expect you to stray with them until everyone boils.  Perhaps once you escape the bucket, you can help them do the same.

3)  Understand you don’t have to do all the work yourself, just most of it (at least at first).  As others see your passion and dedication, your dream will become the dream of a few of them.  They will look for excuses to help you.

Just remember as you do this;  stay focused on your dream, and only glance at the obstacles.

If we are not willing to risk failure for our dreams, we have failed already.

Just Sayin’…

I was talking with a very high-energy and successful person today who told me she had a very full schedule but felt overwhelmed by the amount of activity in her life.  She said that she felt empty and depleted at the end of the day and wondered why she didn’t feel happier.  Upon further examination she confided that he had been juggling a great deal of different tasks and hadn’t really taken any meaningful time to think about what really would bring her happiness and balance.

We become so engrossed or swept up in our rapid-paced lives that we forget that we can enjoy things more thoroughly if we pause occasionally to relax, recharge and reflect.  There are some basic ideas you can apply to your life that will help you strike a balance between your career and your personal life.

The first is to relax.  Relaxing is beneficial to your body because is helps your system recharge.  Although we can endure frantic activity for long periods it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is good for our physiology.  We weren’t designed to go one hundred miles per hour for every minute of the day.  We aren’t build to process ten thousand facts per hour day after day after day.  Relaxing means shutting down your motors for a period of time and not doing anything.  This break should be long enough that you feel calmer and more rested.  You can do this by taking a walk (not vigorous exercise), meditating or breathing deeply.  The idea is to interrupt the frantic action going on in your life long enough to reset your system from its stress auto pilot mode.  Practice relaxing for fifteen minutes at first and moving up to a half-hour or more.  Commit to incorporating this type of activity every day.

The next idea that will bring balance to your life it to recharge.  Recharging is the planning phase of creating balance.  In this phase you can think about what you want to do to bring your life into balance.  If you work too much you can ponder what you can do to incorporate more personal time into your life.  If you have no work life you can dial in a little bit of work.  The idea is to be somewhere in the middle between all work and all play.  You don’t have to be perfectly 50/50 all the time but it is beneficial to spend the majority of time in the middle.  When you spend time in the middle you will feel calmer and more relaxed because you won’t be living a life of extremes.  The discomfort we feel when we are out of balance is due to the fact that we are missing an important part of our existence.  If we have too much of any one thing it naturally takes over and puts everything else out of balance.  To restore balance we just need to take the time to recharge our lives by incorporating what’s missing.  If you work too much, relax a little.  If you are always napping, do a few more tasks.  Don’t go nuts, the idea is just to balance things out.

Our final idea is to reflect.  This concept is directed at forming an understanding of what really matters in life.  When we reflect consciously on what we are doing we can create balance in our lives.  Decide for yourself where you really need to focus in your life.  Will it really matter if you put in another ten hours at the office or do your kids need a little more attention?  Will you regret in later years that you didn’t spend more time with your spouse instead of looking over reports?  You have the ability to prioritize these issues and determine for yourself which require more attention.  You get to decide what is really going to make your life fuller and better based on your beliefs and values.  Reflecting on what’s really important to you will give you and idea where you need to spend more time.  

Take some time in your day to not do anything. Look at a sunset, sit by a stream, go walking in the city with no particular goal. Life becomes more enjoyable when we take time to regain our balance.

Balance helps us maintain a generally positive course. It is the middle road we take that grounds us. We will always have highs and lows but, if we nurture the middle, we will always have it to seek refuge in.

The first day I met Lewis(not real name),I told him to forget what his parents,teachers and friends have said about his abilities.I made him realize that he was born brilliant ,sharp and successful.Before teaching him anything academic,I encouraged him with motivational and inspiring words.

Before I met him,Lewis was simply”beyond redemption”,failing almost all his papers.Weeks after taking him up,I had the satisfaction of hearing the principal of the school saying in the staff room that “Lewis is now passing his papers”.

The incidence confirmed what I had always known-most children are born brilliant.Apart from birth defects,the main causes of dullness in children are environmental ones.A well-fed child will do better in class than a malnourished one.A child from a broken /unstable home may have difficulties in academics compared to one raised in a stable one.Parental response when a child fails can result in a complex in the child.This was the case with Lewis above.He failed woefully once and everybody called him a failure.With time,he got used to the label and accepted it.From that point,he started his downward roll.

Parents need to be careful how they react when their children fail in an endeavour.Such children need lots of love,encouragement and assurance.They should be told that failing does not make them a failure.It is an event which they should put behind them and reach for the success ahead.

Even when parents are frustrated by the grades of their children,they should do their best not to over-react.Let the children know that they have disappointed their guardians but most importantly,let them know that there is a sleeping giant in them waiting to be awakened.

I am a person who at many times in my life have felt down and depressed about various issues that I have had in my life such as the fact that I had a speech impediment, stuttering. I was desperate to find a way to stop stammering/stuttering and was more than happy to work hard to achieve fluency.

From reading life coaching and positive thinking books, I realized I had to become a far stronger person, more care-free and to have more respect for myself. I decided that if I did not want to go somewhere I wouldn’t, whatever anyone said. This new found attitude would not be easy to carry off but I was determined to give it a go.

Then came the first challenge to this new found attitude; it happened at my friend Ian’s house. He is a very successful business man; he sells cheap holidays for a living and can be quite an assertive person, he also works with a group of cost reduction specialists and has just sold a DVD duplication

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 business. He was trying to organise a night out for the following Saturday. There were numerous reasons why I did not want to go out on that particular night. Ian soon asked if I was interested in going out to which I answered in the negative.

That answer was not enough for him and he proceeded to question my reasons for not wanting to go. I felt all of the eyes of the people present descend on me and I felt quite awkward. Normally in this situation I would give some excuse but instead I asked him why I needed to give a reason and why my answer of no was not enough for him. He seemed quite shocked at my strong response and moved on to question and nag someone else.

I am now a much more assertive person myself and I am pleased to report that I have now managed to overcome the stutter thanks mainly due to the expert therapy offered at the How To Stop Stammering Center in Birmingham.

Image via Wikipedia

Although officially I should have been out of the age of all this “looking for meaning” thing I still from time to time get my melancholic times where I have to look into things a bit more and question how life goes. I suppose it is actually a good thing to take a bit of a distance once in a while and look at it, reflect and review and take it fresh from there. It prevents just always continuing the same old routines and you start a new phase.

Looking back at the different phases that I lived through I have to say that within a couple of years my whole outlook on life changed, all of my perspectives, views and values. I find that actually incredible because some years ago I thought I know it all. Nowadays again I think I know it all but however I have the slight suspicion that in another couple of years again my whole outlook will be very different.

This is probably what could be summarized as personal development and the incredible fact that we are different and developing people throughout life, it is only so hard to perceive this because we are at the centre of it and therefore cannot see it.

One guy that I recently -again- came across who brilliantly describes this is Carl Rogers in his book: “On becoming a person”. It is a series of lectures and essays and is so touchingly personal that it goes really deep to the core. He is probably one of the people who realized that with where our society goes, with all centeredness around money (see my other blogs), materialism, outward success and superficiality we create a world that leaves the people empty inside: it forgets that person inside.

He descibes as when he was trained as a psychologist he had to conduct all kinds of research and experiments on the behaviour on rats – but with what he wanted to do that had actually nothing to do! So he continued his difficult way within the system looking to understand and serve the person sitting in front of him.

A fascinating account to read, very critical to how we usually live our lives and how we could live our lives…

I say all of that just to make the point that no matter what your job or vocation in life, you will always have some goal, ambition or target in mind to achieve!

1. Get the Edge

   Wouldn’t it be just fantastic to have the edge over your competition? Wouldn’t it be amazing to walk into that job interview knowing for sure that you are the only one who really has a chance at being successful? Wouldn’t it be awesome to know that you can have the business success you always wanted just by having some edge?

   It is the conviction that we have here that anyone can have this edge, it’s a state of mind and it’s about subtly changing how you see the world and how you see yourself in relation to the world, and learning the edge that the few people who dominate every sphere of influence have and learning how this can be applied to your life and to your situation.

   This is the essence of life coaching in it’s purest sense. It is there to match the ambitious one with someone who has achieved goals and can help the person and motivate the person through all the obstacles to reaching their goals and to achieving all that they want to achieve! If you are someone with a lot of goals and ambitions, or if you just want to live life with more of an edge, then I would suggest you investigate life coaching to get the edge that will take you far in life!

2. Feel the Support

   The reason why a lot of people fail in their goals is not because they have a lack of ability, or even a lack of ambition. No, the real reason why people do not succeed is because of a lack of motivation. People need to be encouraged to focus on their goals. People need to be encouraged to focus on  finishing what they start. There are so many distractions in life and anyone who is not held accountable can be distracted for a moment too long and miss the edge! Don’t let it happen to you – if you want to succeed, you need motivation!

3. The Motivation of Experience

   The great thing to know is that if you have a good life coach, this person will have gone through not just an academic course to be certified as a life coach, but this person will have had significant achievements in life that called for pushing through obstacles and achieving things in the face of opposition, so the benefit of this to you is that you will get motivation from someone who is highly experienced. Your motivation will be from someone who knows what they are talking about and will act as a catalyst for you to get where you want to go faster than you think or have thought!

So, if you want to lose weight, get a promotion, earn more money, start a business, grow  your business, find a partner of your dreams, or any other goal or ambition, why not consider life coaching, you may find that it’s easier, more fun, and more affordable than you think!

Fear of responsibility. We don’t take decisions because we are afraid to  take responsibility, because of the consequences that are the result of our decisions. Because of the result we generate.

Lack of information.We postpone to take decisions until we consider that we have all the necessary information. As much as we wish all to be perfect, as more difficulties we have in taking decisions because we believe that we can do things  better.We just can’t figure out how to do things well and then we postpone the decisions. It is interesting that, once we have took that decision, things tend to configure in a different way than we thought they will.

Fear of not taking the best decision. The best decision is relative, it can’t be determined. All we can do is to choose the most suitable solution for us.

Indifference. Sometimes we do not care, so we don’t take decisions. Indifference seems to have no connection with fear, but it seems that everytime you are indifferent in a certain situation, regarding a certain subject, you have also some kind of fear regarding that problem.

There are maybe more reasons than the above. It is important to know what can be done:

1. If you don’t take responsibility for you and for the ones you love, it is possible that others will take this responsibility and it may not be convenient for you. Their actions and the related consequences may not be pleasant. Responsibility has to be learned and sometimes it happens in painful ways.This is the reason for which it is easier to be irresponsible. And frustrated. And unfulfilled. Pretty dead mentally.

2. You will never have all the available information. God is the only one who has it. The idea is not about having all the necessary information, but to have useful information, that can help you decide.

3. Hesitation is very good sometimes. Postponing a decision can fix things in a convenient way for you. It has happened to you, at least once. The challenge is to realize when is the best moment to take a decision and when it’s better to postpone it.

4. ‘The best decision’. The biggest nightmare of people. “Have I done things well?’. There are situations in which, things that you have done well, will prove to be, over the years, the biggest dumb possible.Take decisions and let time decide how good was your decision.

5. If you are indifferent, ask yourself how is your life. Sometimes, indifference is associated with fear and frustration.You decide if you still want to stay indifferent  or not.

Take decisions whenever it is necessary. Read more about this subject. Discuss with those who know more about it.Just do something. Take a decision! Now!

And remember: Fear is GOOD!

However, not everyone knows what life coaching is and what a life coach does. A short answer is the following: Coaches work with clients who want a detached partner to help them enhance their lives, improve health or change careers.

Coaching is a modern and rapidly growing method for helping others to improve, develop, learn new skills, find personal success, set and achieve goals and manage life change and personal challenges. Life coaching is effective for all situations.

It is different to training. It draws out rather than puts in. It develops rather than imposes. It is non-judgemental and helps people to develop and grow in different areas like: personal; life-change; parenting; self-fulfilment; self-discovery; career; business; success; performance; health; diet; weight management and many other aspects.

So, how does that happen? Rather than actually TELLING someone the answers, a Life Coach helps clients to find the answers themselves. A coach reflects issues back to a client which helps defining strategies and tactics.

One famous Russian psychologist Doctor Kurpatov says, “We have great inner resources, but we have to know how to use them.” Life Coach helps you learn how to use your inner resources.

I can compare Life Coaching to the proof reading process. Say, a writer works on a book, he or she creates beautiful characters, unusual situations, describes the beauty of the environment and nature, hooks up the reader with the mystic events. The writer is like God – she or he can do anything to the heroes, put them into a really difficult situation or make them fall in love, win a competition, run the races, be a financial mogul or a bankrupt, be healthy or sick, alive or dead. This is in writer’s power. But… and it happens quite often, while writing a book, an author can make mistakes, like: misspelling, omitting, can create some illogical steps for a character or even lose a part of a sentence or a page. It happened to me.

This is the work of a proof reader to find all these errors and correct them. The proof reader reads the text and underlines the words or sentences where, as she thinks, the errors are. Also, she makes suggestions on how to correct them and returns the manuscript to the author. The proof reader cannot order or advise the author to correct the errors in a manner like, “You have to make it all right, dude, otherwise nobody will publish your book.” Although, it is true, it is only up to the author whether to make it all right or live it as it is or… chuck it all to the bin.

We all are writers, creators and gods of our own life stories. We create our destiny, fate and unique paths. We choose what to do next, we can rule, lead or let someone else lead us. We choose to be happy, healthy and well off or quite to the contrary. We can have changes and we choose which changes we want. And sometimes we need proof readers to show us the mistakes that have been done and can be corrected. Life Coaches do that. They do not advice or order to make the changes, they simply point out the things which can be corrected.

As time goes on, the coach helps you continually focus on your goals and keeps you on track until you reach them. This is where life coaching has an advantage over other personal development methods. Coaching is individual and continuing, so you get one to one, long term guidance and support.

However, the coach is not a counsellor or therapist but someone who gives you a different slant on things and helps you focus on your own solutions. As a result, they equip you with techniques that help you solve your problems long after coaching has stopped.

Life has so much to offer each and every one of us. We all share common problems, but the unique way in which we are built changes our reactions to our life situations. We all have unique personalities, we grow up in different life situations, we are all genetically unique, but, at the same time, we must remember, we are all part of the human race.

We all should have goals in life, in order to feel the need to get up every morning with a purpose in life and to go to sleep every night with a feeling of having done something worthwhile at night. We all do not have great jobs and we all do not have perfect relationships or have freedom from financial worries. With the help of a Life Coach we can overcome our fears about our relationship, financial or career worries, while we are encouraged to develop self motivation for success.

The main role of a Life Coach is to help you to better understand the forces which are working in your life, and to help you to gain an understanding into your personality and the effect you have on the world around you. You can be your own Life Coach, once you have achieved that level of understanding, so that we do not have to be victims of our life situations, instead we will be able to control and plan our lives for the sweet stink of Success.