This is because no value education is imparted either in schools or at home. Today education is only informative and not transformative. True education transforms a person being rude to polite, from the insensitive to sensitive, from cruel to kind. There are so many virtues that need to be inculcated in students from their early age. One such virtue is politeness.

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A person who is polite, good-tempered and soft-spoken is liked by all. On the other hand, one who is ill-tempered and displays anger in the presence of others is disliked by all. Good manners are a sign of gentlemanliness. People respect those who know how to behave in the society. Man is a social being. His presence in the society must not cause any trouble to others because of his bad behavior and lack of good manners. In a cultured society, the presence of an ill-mannered person is an irritant. Such a person is a misfit in the society.  

By displaying his wealth or power, a man may attract admirers or followers. By displaying his learning, a man may acquire a reputation of a scholar. But being courteous and well-mannered, a man will win lasting friendship with noble people in the society. Good manners are a valuable ornament. By displaying this ornament one can please every one. Good manners convert even the ugliest face into a thing of beauty.   

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They had planned a week stay and did not have the courtesy to inform me beforehand about their arrival. I hurriedly finished my cleaning and rushed to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for them. The children ran around the house making a mess of everything and the noise they made were ear piercing to say the least.

Their weeks’ stay made me highly irritable as they were very demanding as if they were in a hotel and when they left I sank down the sofa with relieved weariness. You might be a close relative  or a close friend , but this does not mean you can barge into a house without any information. Guests should realize that they should have impeccable etiquette to be a welcome guest.

The first etiquette you should follow is to inform your host the day and time of your arrival. You should also tell them the number of days you will be staying and you should ask them if it will be comfortable for them. This information makes your host well prepared for your stay.

You should realize you are staying in other people’s house and it is good manners to abide by their timings. You should have your breakfast or lunch when it is served and it will be perfect etiquette to appreciate the food prepared by your host. Do not criticize the preparation as it is bound to hurt your host.

If you take young children with you, you must teach them proper manners and guide them to be perfect in their behavior. They should not run around the place and make a mess of things. You should have your own toiletries and not borrow it from them. Do not leave things strewn around and keep the room neat and tidy.

Help you host to clean the dishes and you can also help in cutting the vegetables or doing small helpful work. After your stay is over, you should tidy the room and keep things in proper order. Thank your host for the hospitality and always remember to send a thanking email or card to complete your duty as a perfect guest.

These are easy and good manners and you will be a welcome guest if you abide by these clean habits. You should forget certain comforts and learn to willingly adjust to the situation. Do not interfere in the personal affairs of your host and you should make them feel happy to have you as a guest.

 The internet has been brilliant in making the World a smaller place. Our online friends come from every corner of the Globe. Cultures are mixing, race is irrelevant and faiths no longer dictate friendships. As good as this sounds, as we edge closer to online Utopia, there is something lacking… basic manners.

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Have you noticed that PLEASE and THANK YOU are seldom used online?

There are several reasons for this.

One being that online speech is written in shorthand, much like the mobile phone text messages my kids send me. PLEASE and THANK YOU seemed to get dropped – too much trouble I suppose.

Another reason is the language of the internet. English is the main language online, whether it be the proper English, American English or the types of English dialect used across the Globe. What one country considers proper manners may not be relevant elsewhere or maybe English may not be a first language and the common PLEASE and THANK YOU gets lost in translation?

The reason that worries me the most is the shift from formal language to informal. I was raised to use PLEASE and THANK YOU whenever the need arose; even today I would never dream of not saying PLEASE when asking for something or THANK YOU upon receiving something. Language is so informal these days, there seems to be little respect or civility in speech anymore.

So where does that come from?

Does it come from the gimme gimme society we now live in?

Which way does it work? Does the internet, Social media and Twitter influence spoken language or does Twitter and Social media mimic the spoken word?

These questions are best answered by people slightly smarter than me.

What I do know is that I miss PLEASE and THANK YOU. Manners are free and there is no reason not to use them. If I do something for someone and I don’t get a THANK YOU, I am quite happy to point out rudeness and if a person omits a PLEASE when asking me something, they will get no joy from their request.

So I will end this article by saying THANK YOU for reading

Credit Microsoft images

Has anyone noticed a change in public attitudes particularly when it comes to basic courtesy and good manners? It seems that small, somewhat insignificant acts of kindness are on a steady decline. Someone enters a door just in front of you and it is unceremoniously slammed in your face. It used to be common place to expect the simple courtesy of someone holding the door open; however, it is no longer the norm but quickly becoming an exception to the rule.

Should we be alarmed at lack of courtesy for others today? Perhaps for some the rules of etiquette does not apply, but for others who were born in a different century and taught basic principles of social interaction, like being kind and considerate to anyone and everyone, it can be a bit of a shock to the system There are obviously those who have forgotten the basics of manners, etiquette and basic courtesy in the rat race of day-to-day responsibilities. And, unfortunately, the lack of good manners occurs in just about every facet of social life.

The absence of basic courtesy is more obvious when people are overwhelmed; a time sensitive project, too many irons in the fire, not enough sleep, problems on the home front, a bad hair day. The rules of etiquette is a forgotten art form or may never have been thought to children. But even though you can, occasionally, blame lack of courtesy and bad manners on a temporary per-occupation with an issue, or lapse in judgement, there is really no valid excuse for the low value attached to common niceties these days.

But all is not lost. One may still encounter the young man who waits for someone, door held open until they hobble their way to relieve him. She smiles and says “thank you” and is grateful for that act of kindness. She probably didn’t really need the nice young man to keep the door open when she was some 10 feet away from the door, but resisted the temptation to wave him away and say “you really don’t have to” People who practice manners and etiquette are a welcome sight in the world today and quickly becoming a rare breed.

So how does one deal with the lack of courtesy today? How does one handle poor business etiquette, work etiquette, phone manners and email manners? All you can do is ignore it and not take it personally. Continue to exercise your principles by practising your good manners and with etiquette and you may succeed in educating others.

By holding the door open for the senior citizen or the teenager behind you, saying hello to someone you know or don’t even know, acknowledging those around you regardless of their status, being kind to your children and courteous to everyone you come into contact with whether at work, play or on the street will go a long way toward preserving the dying art of good manners. . And when someone does a kind deed for you, remember to say “thank you” and pay it forward.

I have noticed an increasingly irritating trend with even my closest friends. When I call them, they will interrupt the conversation for any number of insignificant reasons. One of my best friends will start talking to her husband if he enters the room and doesn’t even bother to say anything to me about it. One minute we’re talking and the next she’s saying things that make no sense. It’s then that I realize she’s talking to him, not me. This is not for something like an emergency or anything urgent, just to ask him if he and the dog had a nice walk.

Another good friend does the same thing with her husband. She also does it with her kids, her pets or if something comes on TV that catches her attention. We’re talking and then she’s talking to someone else, or interrupting me to tell me how funny the commercial she just saw was. When did it become alright to do this? When did phone conversations become so hard to have? Where did our manners go?

I have also had to put up with the “grocery store conversation.” Someone calls and they are shopping as they talk to you. Their attention is not totally on the conversation, it’s noisy and just plain annoying. I know we are all rushed for time these days and tend to multi-task, but I think we need to realize that if we can only talk on the phone at the grocery store, there’s something wrong with our life. A quick call that needs to be made is one thing, but a long conversation is another.

I have noticed manners falling by the wayside in general and it’s sad. Manners are what made us “civilized” and show consideration for others. They make others feel important to you, that you care about them. It’s what puts a smile on the checkout girls face when you say a simple “thank you.” It has become so bad that when someone is polite to me now I am shocked, but very grateful. A friend of mine and I were talking about this the other day. Her neighbor’s child offered to help her take her groceries in the house for her. She was so impressed and thrilled. We realized how sad it was that this was so rare that it was like a special gift when it happened.

Please, please talk to only me when you call next time. Don’t let your child interrupt the conversation to ask you when dinner will be ready or whine that he wants some candy. Ask your husband how his walk with the dog went when you get off the phone. Let’s try to bring back some phone etiquette and manners in general. Everyone will benefit from it and the world will be a better place. Thank you for reading this. See? That wasn’t hard and didn’t it make you feel better?

Those that eventually did bother to acknowledge the invitation, did so the day after the event, and without exception whined that their phones had “died.” I know we love to moan about our service providers, but with the current epidemic of “dying” phones, it’s amazing that any of the phone companies are still in business.

When asked if I am free, I look in my diary and provide a yes or no answer. It really is not more complicated than that. That’s how I was raised…not in New York. Why is this basic step so hard for New Yorkers to fathom?

Having said all of that, even when your New York friends actually do bother to meet you, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be treated with respect.

I was attending a dinner party at a friend’s home, when her husband rose from the table, grabbed his laptop and moved to the couch, whereupon he ignored his guests and worked for a solid hour. Clearly his work is so important that he doesn’t have to adhere to social norms and wait until the guests have actually left. And in case you’re wondering, this person was not a doctor who’d interrupted the evening to restart a heart or cure cancer.

The crazy thing, though was that no one, neither his wife nor his friends, batted an eyelid. Everyone just went on with their conversations, as though this rude behavior were the most natural thing in the world.

Later, when I asked her about it, she said ever so casually, “he works for a bank, so it’s OK. Everyone gets it.” Well forgive me for being the party pooper, but I really don’t “get it.” I understand that some people are extremely busy, but if you’re too busy to spend time with your friends, then don’t invite them to your house for dinner.

Everyone deserves a minimum of respect and politeness. What has gone wrong in New York society that we no longer have the right to expect the most basic of common manners? I have lived in London, San Francisco and Geneva, and never experienced flakiness on this pathological scale. The question is why do New Yorkers think they are exempt from common decency? And why do we let them get away with it?

AnnabelleRC

     It allows humans to share, in a specific manner what their thoughts, feelings and emotions are at any given time.

     However, like most traditions of old, verbal communication, today, is given short shrift. We live in a fast paced environment which regards time as a precious commodity. Time is, now, valued in dollars and cents(ask any lawyer). We are in such a hurry that, instead of conversing on the phone, we resort to “texting” one another. What does that say about closeness of family and about friendship? Have we come to the point where we look at people as just another commodity to use when necessary and cast-off when no longer needed?

     We are almost at the point where we will soon use “texting” abreviations to speak to one another. And…God, help the poor soul who still believes in speaking in (aaaaarrrrrrrgh) full sentences!!!

     And, what is this need, suddenly, that has everybody talking over one another? I, myself have had a couple of situations where I have had to resort to, repeatedly, say: “Excuse me…Excuse me…I am trying to say something very importand here…” . That tells me one thing. People are so obsessed with themselves and their own “little universe” that they no longer have the time to listen. That their ideas and opinions are the only ones that matter… Anything different is just noise from “rambling idiots”.

     There are consequences to this sort of behavior: Children poorly raised, married couples ending-up in divorce court, destroyed relationships, a lost sale, a business project gone awry and I could go on…

     Communication is what keeps things going in an orderly fashion. Lack of communication produces confusion, chaos and, yes, heartbreak.

     Practice taking the time to listen now and then. You could discover a new “spark” in your relationship, more loving children, save money sometimes, realize an unexpected profit in business, and, in some cases…save your job.

     There is nothing to lose in listening, and, sometimes, a lot to gain.

     Pay attention… You might be pleasantly surprised.                                       

We asked for another table, we were not being demanding nor rude it was just a simple request or so we thought. To our amazement we were given a deep sigh along with a roll of the eye from the hostess, and there was the start of what was to be our down hill ride into rude city.

Our waiter came to our table and asked what do you guys want to drink, Guys? First of all we are female not male the correct term would have been  what may I get  you ladies to drink! As this charming fellow brought us our beverage’s he hurriedly took our order rushed off as if headed to a fire, and there we sat waiting for the salads to come for over five minutes! My dear friend and I are easy going kind of gals, we don’t expect to be waited on hand and foot.

Now if our charming waiter had been busy we would not have said a word, but to our dismay he was engaged in a conversation with the little hostess with the deep sigh, and rolling eye. I called this charmer over to our table to inquire about our salads, only to be told that he has no control over when the salads were to be coming out of the kitchen, yes folks this fire man ran off to retrieve our salads.

I have to wonder if the bunny rabbits in the field gave him a hard time, as it took him yet another five minutes before we had our pre dinner salads! I am just so sure he had to wrestle the salad greens away from the rabbits for as long as it took to get them. Salads slammed in front of us, my dear friend and I burst out in laughter, as I stated before we are a couple of fun natured gals.

As we were enjoying our salads our charming waiter returned to his conversation with Ms. Roll your eyes at me, the conversation was not what any customer would like to hear in a family establishment. Customers really don’t want to hear about your sex life, especially when you are with in ear shot  and at the entrance of the establishment no less. What has happened to our society, doesn’t any one practice good social skills any longer?

This writer would not be writing about this isolated incident if it were in fact isolated, as my friend and I ate our meal which was tossed at us along with a few other guests as if our waiter was slopping hogs!It was while I was driving home that I reflected back to a few other encounters with rude  people who work with the public. Have we become so hurried in our daily lives that we do not have the extra second it takes to say a thank you, or a please?

In grocery stores and department store in the bank people push up against you as if they don’t see you, just  to get to the head of the line. Excuse me please you can not walk through me and if you do not mind would you please give me some elbow room. The freeways are no better people drive right on your bumper to try to get you to move faster or cut you off,  what is going on here folks? Its time we slowed down and act a little civilized.

We are not back in the prehistoric days when you  grunted and clubbed your way to the top, and took what you wanted  and went about your merry way. No we have come a long way from that baby and its time to bring back Miss. Manners 101, class is now in session. Parents we can not fall down on the job now, we need to teach our youth the importance of having proper social skills.

We need to teach our youth to slow down in life just a little bit to enjoy them selves, life will fly by soon enough. Fellas open a door for a lady hold her chair out for her, its not nerdy if you do this you may be pleasantly surprised how  your young lady will appreciate it. Place your napkin in your lap use your utensils, save the cave man style of eating for when you are with your buddies.

Ladies its perfectly fine to just stand there till your young man opens your side of the car door, and no he may not open it from the inside, he must come around to hold it open for you. If we women start to expect a little more from our male counter parts then and only then will they start giving us the respect that our sisters of long ago have fought for you and I.

Sex talk is to be  kept where it belongs in the bedroom, between consenting adults not in the entrance of a restaurant, with in ear shot of all to hear. Serving the public means just that guys and dolls, the customer is not always right how ever the golden rule of do un to others as you want others to do un to you, still holds true today as it did in your grandparents day.

Tips are what makes or breaks a waiter, your pay check is small compared to what you get as a courtesy from the customers you serve. Treating your client as if you were slopping hogs, by slamming their meal in front of them will not get you the tip you depend on to make a living, it will get you a pink slip out the door ,and it gives the establishment a bad rap!

You represent the company while on the clock, in today’s tough economy you want to do all that you can to ensure that you have a job to come back to in the morning, treating folks like they are a bother is not the way to go about it. There are way too many people out of work. If this is not the place for you then by all means quit and move over, some one who will appreciate the job you seem to think is beneath you.

A please and a thank you, can you pass the butter , may I open the door for you? Does not make you un cool it makes you civilized, manners start at home practice them daily. Its time we put the cave man and women in all of  us to rest, while in a line waiting your turn give the person ahead of you some elbow room. Its OK really you will get to the head of the line. On the freeway you can not save gas by riding the bumper of the car ahead of you! Give a little space so we all get to our destination safely, its up to each one of us to do our part.

Ms. Manners thanks you for your,  time as well as your undivided attention together we can bring back good ole fashioned manners, by treating one another as we ourselves would like to be treated. Respect starts at home folks and yes practice dose make perfect “class dismissed.

1. Those short shorts and that belly shirt really aren’t meant to be worn by someone with your figure. You look like a stuffed sausage with holes in the tubing where the meat sticks out. That’s really not sexy; in fact, it’s repulsive.

2. Your kids are monsters. They are spoiled brats, because you never discipline them. When they grow up, I doubt they will want to even work, because you give them everything.

3. Elaborating more on the above comment, your kids aren’t always right when they don’t get along with the other kids. Stop thinking the world is out to get your babies.

4. Your bleached hair looks really tacky and yellow. Especially with your black roots sticking out and your dark eyebrows.

5. Please stop getting pets if you can’t take good care of them. And please get them spayed or neutered, as you are only adding to the unwanted pet population.

6. Lady, stop cutting your hair so short. You look like a man, and it only makes you look older and heavier.

7. Girls, stop having babies to trap men. You are clogging up the system, and I hate seeing our tax dollars paying for you to collect welfare, food stamps and sit on your fat butt watching television all day. I don’t care if there are shows on TV making it seem cool; it’s disgraceful.

8. Shoppers, don’t waste the salesperson’s time by saying you will come back to purchase an item and asking the clerk to put it aside. You know damn well you have no intention of coming back.

9. Restaurant diners, please don’t be rude to the waiter/waitress and leave a small tip, or worse yet, not leave a tip at all. If you are too cheap to leave a tip, eat at home or order takeout and eat it at home. And while we’re at it, control your monsters in the restaurant.

10. Don’t wear outfits with horizontal stripes unless you are really skinny.

11. Cover your mouth when you cough, darn it. Then wash your hands immediately. Or better yet, cough into your sleeve.

12. Girls, if you join a gym, you should actually USE the equipment. Don’t just walk around looking cute and flirting with guys.

13. If you are driving and get a phone call, pull over to talk. Don’t carry on a conversation in traffic.

14. Your kids are ugly, and I think they take after you.

15. No matter how much makeup you use, you’re still ugly.

16. Take a shower please. You have B.O.

17. You have bad breath. Brush your teeth. And there is a thing called mouthwash. Use it!

18. Have you ever heard of zit cream? I can’t eat while I look at those whiteheads all over your face.

19. Please don’t just drop by when you know we are having dinner. You know we are too polite not to ask you to join us, but sometimes we just don’t have that much extra food for your gluttonous mouth, and we know you can afford to buy your own food.

20.

I can’t speak for everyone so I speak for myself in the fact that I’m definitely one of those random people that will just walk into any place, where I don’t know anyone, with a
smile on my face. Due to MY common courtesy my usual first word is “Hello” and the
smile still remains on my enlightened face hoping I will get the same smile and response back. My smiles usually descend due to the
awkard silence marked on people’s faces. As of today’s era, greeting people for the
sake of common courtesy is like talking to the wall right behind them. But what happens if I rewind that same scene and I walk in without saying hello?,
Then I’m the ”Uncultured one” finding them hovering over to their partner and whispering ”How
rude”. I have an issue with this society. If I walk into a room full of strangers or
even people I know, the first thing I do is greet. But if they don’t greet back,
they’ve made me look like an idiot for no reason because I’m practically talking to myself. Obviously, I’ve done nothing
wrong except have manners. Someone call the manner patrol, seems like we have a
problem. I know most of you have bumped into this people. What we’re doing is
showing some polite and in return we get a rude stare and disrespectful silence,
by simply vulgar people.