Based on the (hopefully) True Story of Maria Theresa

Sisters, brethern, children, and friends, I hear your cries of pain and somthing buried deeper within me than my soul is dieing for it feels the world around it dieing, oh too quickly and for some very… disturbing reasons. We look to our past for answers, or at the very least… a comfort that our world wasn’t always dieing and see our world in labour her doctor, a sadistic monarch. It is a gruesome world we have scraped together indeed, but in order to lighten your pain and mine I have dug through the scrolls of old and found, one real happy story. It begins in a highly unlikely kingdom, one long ago destroyed, and for good reasons. Rome was a tyrant amongst civilians, a torchure chamber for all but those with power… and money, but Rome is where her story begins…

Her name was Maria. Her father, before she was born, feared his countries collapse under a new family rule if he failed to produce a male herir and these were times filled with more biggoted males than early America. In her father’s case, Charles VI, this fear grew stronger than his prejudices. After paying a bribe to European rulers for an exceptiopn to the Salic law he decreed it lawful for a daughter to enheirit the throne, the year was 1713 and in 1717 his daughter, Maria, was born. With her father failing to teach her anything about state affairs, goverment, or war– as he was too busy fighting them– it seemed her failure was written in the stars. Her father had depleted the military and left her very little money. Almost instantly after taking the throne Maria found her self under threat of invasion from Fredrick II of Prussia.

The history of Rome is bleak indeed, but Maria knew little of politics and history was a term lost on citizens of the past, it turns out the magic of the World blessed her in this way, for she was left to rely upon her witts, her heart, her strength of charecter. lack of greed… to a degree. As invasion lobbed its ugly threats she doubled her army, calling on the serfs ensuring annual pay to anyone who served her army or goverment. The battle was bloody, innocent lives were lost, but in the end Fredrick II failed. He came away still holding Silesia, as she was not in time to defend it, but Hasburg, Austria, and Vienna remanined safe. As the war waged on Maria could not sit from the comforts of her palace and watch her people suffer… she knew in her heart that even her serfs deserved better. Her father hadn’t been all bad, he had begun a few serf reforms in his time, but Maria’s hell-bent goal of prosperity and a strong state, made it her legacy. She reorganized the tax structure, ensured income for her loyal subjects, and bettered the life of the average serf in general. Not to forget that now they could obtain military status… and live richer lives, if they lived to tell their tale. Maria Theresa is known for creating positive diplomacy. Time under her rain truly could come straight from a fairytale.

As follows are ten queen regnant from different historical periods ranging from classical antiquity to the Middle Ages to modern history:

Hatshepsut

The first female pharaoh to reign over ancient Egypt (1479 to 1458 B.C.). After her husband Thutmose II’s death, she became regent to her newly crowned young nephew Thutmose III, but would proclaim herself “Pharaoh” after a few years. An able leader, she conducted military campaigns in Nubia, re-established trade routes disrupted by the Hyksos invasion, and constructed the awesome temple complex at Deir el-Bahri.

Christina

“Christina on horseback” (1653) by Sébastien Bourdon

Queen of Sweden, dubbed “The Minerva of the North” for her love and patronage for the arts and culture. In 1632 when her father King Gustav II Adolf died in battle, she was immediately declared as “king” of Sweden at only six years of age. Educated as a prince, this very mannish but gifted ruler began to rule in her own right on her eighteenth birthday, and was able to effectively negotiate the Treaty of Westphalia bringing to an end the Thirty Years’ War in 1648. Overburdened by the pressure for her to marry, she relinquished the throne in 1654 in favor of her cousin Charles Gustav (Charles X), converted to Catholicism, and settled in Rome, where she died and was buried in St. Peter’s Basilica in 1689.

Artemisia I

“Battle of Salamis” (by Wilhelm von Kaulbach) in which Artemisia commanded five ships

The daughter of Lygdamis and tyrant queen of Halicarnassus, the only woman whom Herodotus attributed with manly bravery. In 480 B.C., she commanded five ships to assist her Persian ally under Xerxes in the Battle of Salamis; but when she found herself about to be captured by the winning Greek fleet, she deliberately crashed and sunk a Persian ship in order to deceive the Greeks into thinking she had changed sides, and thereby, to spare her life.

Razia Sultana

An unknown artist’s rendition of Razia Sultana

A thirteenth century Muslim ruler, the first female monarch to rule Delhi. She was chosen by her father, Iltutmush, over his many incompetent sons to be his successor. She started wearing man’s attire upon assuming the throne. She proved to be a capable leader both in the battlefield and in court, establishing law and order in her country, and successfully playing the game of politics to rally support to her side.

Septima Zenobia

Zenobia, portrait bust (Vatican Museum, Rome)

Queen of Palmyra (267 to 273 A.D), known for her exceptional beauty and courage. She was also well educated, able to speak Latin, Greek, Syriac and Coptic. She ascended the throne as regent of her infant son Vaballathus upon her husband Odenathus’ death. She personally marshaled troops into battle decisively vanquishing the Romans, conquered parts of Asia Minor and annexed Egypt claiming to be a descendant of Cleopatra and Marc Antony.

Maria Theresa

Portrait of the Empress Maria Theresa of Austria by Martin van Meytens

Archduchess of Austria and queen of Hungary and Bohemia (1740-1780), the only female empress of the 650-year history of the Habsburg dynasty. Being the eldest, she succeeded her father, the Holy Roman Emperor Charles VI; however, her accession triggered the War of Austrian Succession which was instigated by Frederick the Great of Prussia in his desire to claim the throne for himself. Strong-willed and ambitious, her many successful reforms included government centralization, establishment of the supreme court, abolition of capital punishment, power restrictions of local nobles, founding of military and engineering science academies, regulation of serf’s obligation and education support for the peasantry.

Catherine the Great

Catherine the Great (1783), painting by Dmitrij Grigorevic Levickij

Empress of Russia, well-known for the many lovers she had during her reign. In 1762, she, with the support of the Imperial Guard, took part in a bloodless coup that ousted her husband Peter III and had herself proclaimed empress. Under her rule from 1762 to 1796, she was able to annex Southern Ukraine and Crimea to Russia through warfare, promoted the arts and education and transformed St. Petersburg into one of the most impressive European capitals.

Elizabeth I

“The Ermine Portrait of Elizabeth I” (c1585) by Nicholas Hilliard

The daughter of Henry VIII and his second wife Anne Boleyn, nicknamed the “Virgin Queen” (as she never married) and “Gloriana.” Her 45-year reign (1558-1603), commonly referred to as the “Golden Age of England,” was an era of prosperity and great accomplishments, as follows: Church of England established; commerce flourished; North America colonized; Spanish Armada defeated and the world circumnavigated by Francis Drake; and arts and literature thrived with celebrated writers as Shakespeare, Marlowe and Spenser.

Isabella II

“Queen Isabella II of Spain” (1852) by Franz Xavier Winterhalter

The eldest daughter of Ferdinand VII by his fourth wife Maria Christina of Bourbon. She became Queen of Spain in 1836, because her father was able to persuade the Cortes Generales to set aside the Salic law which precluded all females from inheriting the throne. However, her corrupt handling of politics, military misalliances, tyranny and religious zealotry brought about the Glorious Revolution resulting in her exile to Paris in 1868 and her abdication in 1870 in favor of her son Alfonso XII, whose rule officially started in 1874.

Wu Zetian

The lone female emperor in China’s history. During the seventh century Tang Dynasty, she ruled with an iron hand, instituted a secret police force that did not hesitate to jail, exile or execute anyone who dared to oppose her. Though despotic, she was a capable ruler treating the peasants fairly; lowering taxes; improving infrastructure and agricultural productivity; recruiting qualified people to government through exams; and even allowing women to be educated. She initially reigned in her husband Emperor Gaozong’s and her sons’ name but would eventually declare herself “emperor” under the new Zhao Dynasty.

More History

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