How to MEET our obligations

I’m driving pass the local High School recently just as Summer School was letting out and it looked like a regular School Day. I couldn’t believe how many children were registered! As a form of general conversation I often ask the youth I come into contact with, “Are you going to Summer School?” and many of them shamefully say, “Yes”, usually for Math, Science, and Language Arts. Through one of my close Associates who works for the School District, I also learned that many youth were turned down for Summer School because too many were already registered. Now what surprised me most was the large number of youth who are in Summer School this year for… drum roll… Gym. Yeah, that’s right “GYM”! Who fails GYM?! If the only thing you’re passing in School is ‘The Office’ so you can go to Lunch, and then ‘Gas’ after you eat it, something is terribly wrong with that picture… Aside from the obviously low pay our Teachers get and the poor Curriculum, there’s a serious level of apathy I cee in today’s youth I didn’t cee growing up. I mean, I’m sure some of us were apathetic because I, and my entire Science Class, went to Summer School in 8th Grade for fooling around all year. Yet I have never even fathomed the type of apathy that would have youth, who are not overweight, going to Summer School for Gym. -smh-

Anyway, this serves as one of our biggest challenges for us as Adults, yes even those of you who have taken the initiative to Home School “your” child(ren). Home Schooled children undoubtedly come into contact with other youth who go to Public, Private, and Charter Schools, and apathy is as catchy as pink eye at a daycare. So in otherwords, the youth are ALL of our responsibility regardless where we live it, and even if we don’t have any children of our own. Part of our responsibility is to help encourage our youth to develop a greater passion for learning, growing, and utilizing the resources available to them to help shape “their” destiny -key word being “their”. I mention “their” simply because if the youth cannot relate or cee a personal interest in it then it won’t mean anything, even when it’s the truth. The youth are the Ambassadors of the future whether they’re prepared or not, and if we aren’t actively making our contribution to help them solve present day problems, we’re adding to future our problems. So how can we, as Adults, help them MEET the expectations of bringing about a greater World than the one we were given responsibility for keeping? Well here is a simple formula I want to encourage you all to apply with the youth, starting with the youth in your own Family, extending to your Community, and then elsewhere.

MEET

M – Make a commitment to be a part of the solution, not the problem. I’m sure many People could relate about the apathy amongst our youth b.u.t. how many of us are actually doing something about it? Are we really committed to cee our youth do better or content with ceeing them frustratingly on a quest for fire? Once our word is bond, that bond will be life, and we should be willing to give our life before our word shall fail, just like we do with anything else we feel/believe is important to us.

E – Examine the reasons for the apathy our youth are experiencing. This means to listen! As Adults many of us are so involved in talking at, talking above, talking around, and talking about our youth that we rarely take the time to actually listen to their concerns, which are legitimate I might add. Listening means taking the time to find out what they think, like, feel, cee, and believe WITHOUT adding our two cents, cutting them off, or telling them what to do. When was the last time you too the time to listen to an Artist who’s lyrics they quote better than a Preacher quotes Bible verses? What was the last movie you went to cee that they counted the minutes, seconds, and hours down to when it comes out? How many times have you actually asked the youth about their day and what’s going on with them and mean it? The Generation Gap we cee is really a Communication Gap, and until we learn how to listen, it will be impossible to (re)establish the relationships with our youth to help close this Gap. If we’re honestly not listening to them, why should they listen to us anyway? -shrugs- We can’t ask for what we’re not willing to give…!

E – Explore goals/interests that you both share. This establishes a level of Social Equality because now you’re no longer -total- strangers. If you both can’t stand broccoli, watch WWE, enjoy reading, or didn’t like how Bella treated Jacob on Twilight, or any number of things, that’s common ground to build on! Because you’ve already started to really listen to what they think, like, feel, cee, and believe, now you’ve begun to be exposed to things you may have never heard about and even start developing a real interest in. My prejudicial opinion of Drake was that he was W.A.C.K. until my oldest Queen put me on to him; we bumped his Album all Summer a couple years ago. When I first heard about ‘The Pack’ Rapper named Lil B and his BasedGod Movement from some of the youth, I didn’t hesitate to learn what this is about, and because I follow up with them about various things I obviously don’t understand, they don’t hesitate to teach me. Because I’ve learned to “preserve the best part for myself and not be concerned (not care) about the poor part” (1/1-14) when it’s appropriate, Yes there are some things I’ve found that are in common with how I cee Life, and these are the things that have helped further solidify our relationship. Now when I cee other youth and talk with them about it, they welcome me as a Newborn, after of course they first look at me like, “Who initiated you into our Society?” Lol If there is no common ground, you can’t build with anybody, especially the youth.

T – Think outside of your box for solutions. When it comes to addressing the apathy our youth have towards Self/Academic Education, and some things that our youth may think, like, feel, cee, and believe that aren’t positive/productive, we have to be creative. We have to come up with solutions that are a Win-Win situation for us both. For example, one day one of my Queens tried to put me onto Nicki Minaj and instead of me throwing up, I told her she wasn’t as nice as Lil Kim. Obviously she disagreed, so we pulled up Youtube on our laptops and went song for song between Nicki and Kim, critiquing both lyrics and technique. There were some songs Nicki got her on and others Kim won, yet that wasn’t my determined idea. In time I discreetly began to sneak MC Lyte (whom she already knew about), Isis, Rage, Bahamadia, Heather B.,Yo-Yo (who she thought was super wack), Boss, and other MC’s in there in order to expose her to other Female Artists. The Win-Win situation in this case was both of us considering something different; thinking outside of the box! How’s that for creativity? Lol Sometimes we have to be even more creative than that, and the “determined idea” (24/1-40) is to agree upon something you’re both willing/able to live with. Some Adults go amongst the youth with this chip on their shoulder like it’s all about what they’re going to teach them -with no respect or consideration for their choice to listen and learn, just like we have. Just getting the youth to consider what you have to offer, just like them getting you to consider what they have to offer, is a huge accomplishment. This is a major contribution to closing the Communication Gap between Generations.

Before we can even strive to tackle the problems going on outside, we have to first address the problems going on inside. Summer School is only the out-side effects of problems going on inside our Families and Communities. Some of the apathy the youth have is simply a mirror reflection of our apathy as their Parents, Guides, Community Leaders, and Elders. If you’re not passionate about something then the youth definitely won’t be inspired by you. The reason I expressed the above formula (MEET) was to demonstrate how this is an interactive endeavor. Why? Because we grow together! And some of you probably thought that we’ll solve these problems going on with youth within our Families/Communities by sharing wisdom from our front porch like robins feed baby birds. No, you may have to play video games, go sledding, play soccer, and do other things the youth do. If you’re not committed to them, in action, why should you expect them to be committed to you? Once we’ve committed ourselves to helping our youth grow and develop, we’ll better position ourselves to MEET a brighter future for us all. By becoming more involved in their lives, our lives, we will better equip the youth with the tools necessary to bring about change. So I challenge all of you to help and continue to help our youth grow into the responsible stewards of a future World. The more they cee and get the encouragement from us to do better, they will. You did! -smile-
Peace!Saladinwww.atlantisschool.blogspot.com

Please Stay One More Day

I was inspired by the young people around me this evening… the big red tractor looked like a fun ride on a perfect summer night… let’s cut the grass!  Okay… so instead of a nap I gave a few lessons.. and then sat back to let go.  I applauded inside their steps forward to a responsibility…and even though the lines may have been uneven… and the fact that I had to spend the evening with the blower behind them… couldn’t dampen my feeling of pride for what they chose to do.  As I told them they did a beautiful job… their faces just glowed.  After all isn’t that more important…is it not most important… to inspire?

I started to ponder and became inspired to write.  I want to say to young and old…as the markets are tanking right now and we seem to be working harder for less… I just want to say please stay one more day.  What I mean by that is even though you may be in the darkest of places hold on.  Reach out to people who will encourage you… who even though things may not be perfect as you attempt figuring out your life’s purpose… just keep going.  Throw everything you have at what you believe in, what you love, what inspires you… because God doesn’t make mistakes.  The good and the bad weather is endured and celebrated by all of us. 

This time last year a childhood friend of mine passed on.  She didn’t want to stay one more day.  I don’t know what to say about that… what a painful place she must have been in… but I want to say to anyone here that is experiencing a friend contemplating suicide or who has witnessed such a thing by now this:

Please stay one more day.  We will… find a way.  After all…it is okay.  So please stay…one more day.  We will figure it out this beautiful day… wouldn’t it be nice to find a way?  So let us pray and find a way so that we can stay…one more day.

Our hearts are bigger than our fears… bigger than our disappointments… bigger than the world even.  We will find a way.  If this touches you please… feel safe to write to me anytime at royalsequel@yahoo.com

To my darling Holly.  You remain my inspiration.  Your life mattered and it does live on.

All my love,
Janet

The first group that I handled was good. Though not all of them gained a good life, but most of them did. Some are engineers, businessmen, nurses and some holding a good profession. The next batch that I handled, most of them had a good race, focused and determined. Now I am handling a new set of people. But this one is different from the previous groups. This is what I least expected. These are out of school youth who had transformed lives. Well, it was hard because they have different perspectives in lives. They grew up differently in a very different environment. Most are youth delinquents. One has always been in and out of jail. The other one used to sell guns. One is a battered child and the other needs to realize that he’s not rich anymore. It was really a challenge. Most of them don’t have a father figure. How are you going to handle and make a difference in the lives of these young people?

There were sleepless nights. There were pains injected to me. I just cannot imagine them drowning and wallowing in their sinful nature. I wanted to help them get out of that kind of life. I wanted them to have the best. But then, I cannot force them to do what I want. Oh, how many times I really tried taking them out of it. But I cannot decide for them. It is still their decision that matters. I am only there to guide them. This is the price of mentoring. There were times I was left with no money because somebody really, really needs it. There were times, I have to go out at one in the morning just to help somebody who needs to be rushed in the hospital. Mentoring is really forgetting yourself. Mentoring is really going out of your comfort zone. These are the times that I realized that there is more than myself. I am not the center of the world. I have my own pains and issues but it’s not as important as theirs. 

But when you see them having a transformation, when you see them becoming somebody, when you see them knowing their purpose in life, you will find great joy. what’s more joyful, when you see them doing the same thing that you did to them. They are not only supporting you, but mentoring other people who, like them was once lost.  

Homelessness is linked to poverty and lack of affordable housing.  Unemployment, mental illness, poverty, substance abuse, alcoholism can all lead a person to becoming homeless.

Homelessness is seen more in cities.  Cities have many people competing for jobs, with a college education or higher and experience.  For someone who is illiterate, for example and does not have a high school diploma, it can be difficult to find a decent job.  Education programs need to be put in place to aid people in becoming literate and tools on helping people find a job.

Organizations in Canada such as the Salvation Army, offer temporary shelter to aid those who are homeless.  There are social service organizations who have programs that feed the hungry who are living in the streets and refer them to homeless shelters.  There needs to be more funding for more homeless shelters in large cities.  At the shelters, they need to have programs in place to help people find a job, have AA and NA meetings for people who are struggling with addictions, and upgrade their skills to become more employable.  The government should have more programs in place to help people find a job and training funding is needed to help people gain the necessary skills and training to find meaningful work.

There needs to be more government subsidized housing.  However, they should lower the income rates of people who are eligible for housing.  People who are in low-income housing should have checks and balances in place so that they are either looking for work, are employed but are working poor, or going to school.  People should not just rely on social assistance that makes people dependent on the government system. People could take advantage of low-income housing, be on social assistance and stay there permanently.  The housing programs should work with the residents to offer some computer training and have a coop style of housing, where people volunteer their time and have a meeting centre in place to mentor residents in whatever skills people have who care to share with the others.

As an engineer, I am often asked to allow high school and college students shadow me for a day at work. They may be thinking of engineering as a career, and just want to get a feel for what it entails on a daily basis. I’m more than happy to allow these young men and women to sit with me while explain to them the projects I am currently involved in and my role in getting the design work completed.  I feel it is my duty of sorts to give these young people some insight and perhaps groom them to take over for me one day when I get tired of the daily grind.

In my church, I am regularly involved with the children and teens, teaching and directing the youth choir, serving as a youth Bible study instructor and showing up to help out with many youth activities and fund-raising events.  The children look up to me because I try to set a good example. I am available for them to come to me when they have problems at home or in school. I try to give them practical advice, perhaps even tell them a few anecdotes from when I was growing up. I want to let them know that I have been through whatever it is they are experiencing; I might be able to help them work through it in a productive way.

At my church’s New Year’s Eve service, I had a young lady (who just turned 14 last week) ask me to be her god-mother. I’m thinking it might be a good idea for me to, somewhat, take he under my wing, having gotten a pretty good idea of her family dynamic and the ever brewing drama that unfolds in her household.  I gave her my cell phone number, telling her she could call me if she needed to talk and promising her that occasionally, we would go out and do something fun together.

This has been my undoing.  Ever since that fateful day, I have been bombarded with phone calls, text messages and pleas to come and spend the weekend with me. I try to explain that I am not her age, we don’t really have common interests, and I don’t really have anything for her to do at my house. I’ve tried to further explain that my youngest child is 18 and wouldn’t want to hang out with someone her age, either.  I told her that she would be bored to tears at my house because when I get a break from my child and grandchild, as I usually do each weekend, I do as little as I can. I get some much-needed rest from cooking, shuttling people around and the general demands on my time.

She insists that the two of us can hang out like I do with my other friends. SCREECH! Put on the brakes! I am not your friend; not in that way. I don’t hang out with teenagers on a regular basis; not even my own.  I ask myself why any teenager would want to hang out with someone who is fast approaching 50 years old? Where are her teenage friends? Why isn’t she hanging out with them on the weekends?   

She often calls me during work hours (once she’s out of school), even though I have explained that this is a not acceptable. She never leaves a message if I don’t answer, but rather continues to call back every five minutes. I’ve told her that, unlike her school mates, I am not available to answer my cell at her whim. If she has something important to talk to me about, leave a message and I will get back to her as soon as I catch a break. She has yet to do this, unfortunately. I generally will call her back when my work day is over only for her to say, she just wanted to say hello and ask what I was doing.

During church services, she always wants to sit with me, and I mean right up under me, often laying her head on my shoulder. I have to think this child is looking for a replacement mother. There is something going on between her and her natural mother that I have yet to discover, but the child clearly is starving for a mother’s attention. With my youngest child just about ready to leave the nest, do I dare take on someone else’s?  This is supposed to be the time that I reclaim the “me time” I have gone without for the last 27 years, since the birth of my first child. Do I take on this challenge or try to get her some professional help?

I’ve always sought to be a mentor to the young people I come in contact with, but this, I fear, is something completely different.

© 2011 – Andrea J. Shannon

What makes this article unique?  I have done some research and started a recipe for success which includes some steps and additional strategies.  These are the first five steps chosen:

1.       Find a Mentor and Start Following Him or Her

Most successful people on earth have mentors or coaches.  Why can’t choose one and see what happens!  Hiring a coach could cost us money which we may not have now.   Why not pick people who have written their ideas profusely?  If their life’s strategies are published, why not use them?  Warren Buffet’s five mentors were Benjamin Graham, President Obama (before he became the US President,) Bill Gates, Phil Fisher and his dad, Howard Buffett.  Did you know that even Bill Gates had his own mentors?  Some may choose successful stories such as Oprah.  Find the qualities that you want to possess.  Make a list of all the things that you want to mimic.  Then do the research and find out how they learned those skills and applied them. Get real serious and start focusing hard on internalizing the key qualities from these mentors.

2.       Decide to Be Yourself

Decide that you want to become the best that you can be and not copy anyone.  Use the mentors above simply as a guide but focus on discovering who you really are!  What are your hopes and dreams?  What are your true financial, emotional, health and spiritual goals?  What values you the most?  What do you want to really become? What have you been dreaming from your childhood?  Make a huge list of things that you want to accomplish and analyze them.  Go over them and ask yourself if by accomplishing those you will achieve them all.  Have you learned how to set goals and achieve them?  Enter some of those goals from different areas of your life and find a way to start achieving them.

3.       Make a List of People Who You Really Care

Identify the people that you really care about!  Build relationships with each one of them.  Remain moral and stay legal.  Focus on being monogamous and let the unethical feelings go.  Focus on the person whom you will be the most happy with. Is that person really available also? Ask, is there is a realistic chance of being with that person?  Are you already in a relationship?  Then decide to be 100% committed to it!  Do research on relationships.  Read books.  Add tools.  Become a better person and develop relationships.  Those relationships will define you.  Do you have kids?  Decide to make them happy!  How can you make them happier?  How can you contribute to their lives?  What extra things can you teach them so that they will have fewer struggles than you?  Do you have estranged relationships with siblings? Then start fixing them and learn new methods.  Start communicating with the people that you have chosen from this list and tell them what you can do to help them.  Start sharing and make time for them!

4.       Master the Application of the Serenity Prayer

It’s time to let the past go and accept the things that you can’t change and learn to focus on the things that you can.  Here is the Serenity Prayer which could come in handy no matter what faith you follow:

“God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.”  –Reinhold Niebuhr

The key is to develop the wisdom to know the difference.  Once you know which things to accept and which one to focus on, it will become much easier!  Perhaps the person that you can change the most is yourself and not your partner or kids.  People tend to do what you do and not what you say!  Become a role model for all people around you!  Practice the principle in this prayer and teach others.  Ask them to hold you accountable if you break this principle and suggest to them if you can hold them accountable in return if they agree. Raise the emotional intelligence IQ by making the principle behind this prayer an integral part of your daily living.

5.       Start Writing Down all of your Thoughts.  

The best way to change your life dramatically is to start writing your thoughts and strategies.  Share them with others.  Locate them in a place where you can easily find them. I have decided to share my ideas on-line where I can go back and read them.  Perhaps I can obtain feedback from others to refine my ideas even better.  Create synergy with others.  Find others who are like minded.  Influence them and get influenced.  Many may want to transform their lives today.  Seek them and join forces with them. Writing these ideas and sharing with others could clarify our thoughts and minds and also find other friends who could provide their own ideas and help us achieve some of our dreams.

In summary, if you want to transform your life today, you have to do something!  I have suggested that you find mentor(s) whom you adore and whose information is freely available.  You may decide to become the best version of you instead of becoming someone else and locate some resources to start doing so.  Then locate the most important people on earth and start developing the best relationships with them that is possible.  You may also want to get organized and set up priority.  There are many tools available.  The Serenity Prayer could cut this issue to the core and give you a great perspective on things that you can control and you need to control.  Finally, start thinking through these and start documenting where you can easily find the information.  Once these five specific steps are in place, you should see a dramatic transformation of your life and your attitude!  Please let the author know how things are going through comments!  All the best to you for a fulfilled life!

Wait a minute! Don’t we see and hear about sex everywhere we go? Any advertisement you see has sexual connotations. Everybody is talking about sex.

In our schools, as well as at our neighborhoods, people are talking about sex.

However, the question comes: Who is teaching your son or daughter about sex? Is it his the class teacher? Is it the Sunday or Sabbath-School teacher? Is it the older pupils in the school? Is it the older children of your neighborhood?

Owing to the fact that, wherever we go, whatever we do, the issue of sex comes up all the time. For instance, there are a number of advertisements that promote the use of condoms for all. It says, “all is well when you use a condom”.

Are your eight-year-olds hearing or seeing these advertisements? Yes. Do they fully understand these advertisements? What messages are they getting? Might they think that sleeping around is okay as long as they have condoms? Sadly, yes.

When do I start teaching my son or daughter about issues of sexuality? As early as possible. What do I teach them? Everything.

Below are principles to consider when teaching our children about sexuality:

1. Mummy and Daddy should love one another. Children learn by observation.
2. Mummy and Daddy should show acceptable intimacy before their children.
3. Mummy and Daddy should design a home sex education curriculum, preferably following consultation with an expert, so as to systematically expose this very delicate issue to their children. The following are the factors they should consider while developing this curriculum:

1. How old are your children?
2. Have they asked any specific sexuality questions?
3. How much do they already know?
4. Are they exposed to DVDs or literature showing pornographic material?

1. Mummy and Daddy should use teaching methods and analogies that can easily be understood by the children.
2. Mummy and Daddy should counsel their pre-puberty children in readiness for puberty.
3. Mummy and Daddy should inculcate in their children the virtue of not engaging in sex till after marriage.
4. Mummy and Daddy should inculcate in their children the virtue of reading beneficial material, and completely forsake pornographic material in any form.
5. Mummy and Daddy should inculcate in their children the practice of choosing friends who abide by the above values.
6. Mummy and Daddy should ensure that, should they allow children to go for sleep-overs, or, should they invite friends for sleep-overs, that as much supervision as is practically possible is under-taken.
7. Mummy and Daddy should recommend acceptable and beneficial books that will enhance the children’s understanding of issues sexuality.
8. Parents should be on the look-out for character traits that are suggestive of children heavily leaning towards the qualities of the opposite sex, and seek counsel early.
9. Mummy, Daddy and the children should be one united and loving family.
10. Mummy and Daddy should create an environment in the home that allows for free expression, so as to allow the children to freely ask anything regarding sexuality without any shame and embarrassment.
11. Mummy and Daddy should inculcate in the children the truth of God’s plan regarding sexuality – that sexuality is God’s plan, and we should not be ashamed of it, because it is beautiful, but within the correct context.

I believe with the above principles, you as parents will go along way in mentoring well adjusted adults, who will not be involved in the many bad practices we see around in the world.

In this life, philosophically speaking, it is good to ask ourselves what we are living for, whom we are living for, and what meaning life has for us. We should have it very clearly in our minds what life is all about, and what we should focus on in our lives.

The plain truth about life is that we are born, we struggle through life, we grow old, then we die. Some of us die too young to have married and had children. Some of us die leaving childless widows or widowers. Some of us die leaving expectant wives. Some of us die leaving husbands with six month old babies to take care of. Some of us die leaving spouses who are jobless, thereby unable to take care of the surviving families. Yet others die leaving wayward children, some of whom might be sexually promiscuous, are on drugs, or dropped out of school for one reason or another.

Based on the foregoing, it would be good, once you have the above answers very clearly in our minds, to have goals and strategies for our lives. In setting up these goals and strategies, it would be good to involve our family members, which includes your husband or wife, as well as children, of course if they are capable of understanding what you are talking about. By the way, during family board meetings, even children aged three years of age, for example, should be welcome. This is destined to preparing them for their own future, whereby they will also learn to plan their lives.

What do we therefore discuss in board meetings? First and foremost, we should impart values on our children. And children learn best by observing us. We should therefore be careful not to preach water, yet we are drinking wine.

We live in a world whereby our financial position influences most, if not all, our life decisions. This is because questions like where the family home will be, which car the family will buy, which schools the children will attend, whether both Mum and Dad will work out of the home, whether the Mum or Dad should go back to school, whether the Mum or Dad should take up a lucrative job offer that will separate him or her from the family, among a multitude of many other decisions.

First and foremost, all our decisions ought to be governed by Biblical principals. The Holy Bible has all the answers you would need. Whether you need guidance in business ethics, good family life, issues regarding debt, work ethics, among others, your answer or guidance is in the Holy Bible. Therefore, whether you are a business person, or employed, you are unlikely to take up jobs or businesses whereby you are at risk of being corrupt in one way or another, if you follow Biblical principals.

Biblical principles teach us the following principles, among others:

1. We should lead quiet lives.

2. We should save for a rainy day.

3. We should lead morally upright lives.

4. We should not be sluggards. We should work with our hands.

5. We should refrain from gossip.

6. We should practice temperance, in other words, we should not “over-do” good things, neither should we do bad things, especially in light with our health. Therefore, we should do good things in moderation, while completely abstaining from doing bad things.

7. We should be generous. The Lord blesses us when we are generous. When we are generous, we create room for our Creator to give us more.

8. We should be modest. We should not be extravagant. We should lead simple, uncomplicated lives.

With the above in mind, I will now submit the following, that will go a long way in enabling us, not only having full control of our lives, but that will ensure that we are satisfied and fulfilled:

1. We should have a budget that will govern our financial planning. It may take a little effort at first. This is because, at first, we need to establish our monthly expenditure. While in the process, we are bound to knock off some expenditures that are not that essential. Secondly, we need to get our monthly income. Once we have established both, we shall be able to determine how much we should save, how much we should invest, whether we can go back to school, whether one spouse (mostly the wife) can stay at home at the earliest years of the children’s lives, among a multitude of other decisions.

2. After starting off with the first month, we then do projections for a period of one year, then two years, three years, four years, all the way till the retirement of each spouse. While doing the projections, it would be perfect to factor in issues like inflation, possible increments in salaries for the employed, or profits and allowances for the self-employed, and so on.

3. Speaking of retirement, it would be good to get started on a retirement program, of course apart from what the government offers. While considering a retirement program, it would be good to note that, after the age of sixty, if you choose that that should be your retirement age, medical expenses go up. Secondly, you are unable to work as actively as a thirty-year-old. Therefore, you should have in mind a program that will enable you afford the higher medical expenses, as well as the lifestyle you would like for yourself and your spouse. It is also very important to factor in the differences in retirement years for each spouse. For instance, you need to be very clear on exactly when the first spouse goes on retirement, then after how many years the other spouse will go on retirement. That transition, from two incomes, to one, then to none, is VERY HEAVY, and even requires counselling.

4. Children’s education is of fundamental importance. Speaking of Christian/Biblical/Spiritual values, it might be very important to take children to Christian schools. Of course, we should also take our time to ensure that they Christian school we are taking the children to will also mould the characters of the children, and fulfill their social and academic needs also. The best inheritance to give our children is good character, morally upright children, well adjusted socially, emotionally and psychologically, among other things. Note that the best and first school for all that is the home school. If the second school will also address all that, then we will have well adjusted, as well as successful adults out of our children when we are old, and even when we die. Most importantly, when we die, we should die happy, expecting to see our entire families in the New Jerusalem.

5. Before we even impart spiritual values upon our children, we ourselves need to have had a connection with our Saviour. Without this, it will be impossible to lead our children to Christ. Secondly, we ought to practice what we preach, otherwise the children will be confused. Whether our children will end up being con artists, engineers, doctors, and so on, depends on their spiritual grounding. Both Mum and Dad should be one in Christ. Only then, will you expect successful, morally upright children.

6. Writing a will ensures that, at whatever stage we sleep, our families will continue running as though we were alive. Mum and Dad should both write wills. This is a major decision that bespeaks very highly and well organized parents. It is indeed VERY PAINFUL to picture your family without you, unable to go to school, unable to afford the next meal, unable to enjoy the wealth you have.

7. Life insurance policies are good ways of saving. The best is if, after only three months of your policy, you sleep. Your dependants will have the benefit of getting the full sum assured, ensuring that they go to school, and that life continues as though you were alive.

8. I highly recommend a different kind of retirement plan. While we are still young, energetic and productive, we should buy houses, which we can use for rental income. This will go a long way in complementing the proceeds of the retirement programs. You will therefore be reasonably comfortable in your sunset years.

9. Another retirement plan is to invest in the stock market. Buy shares of new companies, whose values are still low, and sell when they appreciate. It is very important to have target prices where you will sell them. Once you have sold them, buy new ones with a low price, and do the same.

10. In preparation for your sunset years, it would be good to have learned a skill. Retirement can be VERY BORING if all you do is sit around. Whether it is farming, singing, writing, and so on, these activities will keep your mind young, alert, and sharp. This will lessen your medical expenses.

11. Lastly, after learning all the above principles, it would be good if you passed them on to your children and grandchildren. That will ensure that the success you will experience, will also be experienced by your children, grandchildren, as well as great grandchildren.

What is life all about? Our whole mission in life is to serve our Creator and Saviour. Our mission for our families is to ensure they go to school and are well adjusted in all ways, to enable them survive tomorrow, whether we are around or not. Our highest calling is to prepare our families for the New Jerusalem. We will die very happy when we know that each and every member of our nuclear family will be in the New Jerusalem.

That is my prayer for all who will read this article.

Your ability to build a strong team and support co-workers through mentoring, training and information sharing will increase your ability to step into a leadership role sooner.  Spend your extra minutes every day encouraging your co-workers, looking for ways to help the team and finding more efficient ways to provide services.  These attributes are how to get ahead and grow not only your career but also your company.  There is a good article on the website that says it all:  http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/6-personality-traits-to-admire-and-acquire-576756/, build your re pore with people, it will work long term.

Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr

Mentoring can be delivered:

One-on-one, typically with a more senior person mentoring a less senior individual, or in small teams.

In teams consisting of peers with different backgrounds and skills mentoring each other or a small group matched with a more senior person. Peer mentoring teams are effective since they are based on the concept of mutual benefit; participants receive support and advice as they provide support and advice for others.

A more contemporary view defines mentoring as a voluntary relationship based on mutual respect, trust with a two-way communication process. It provides an opportunity for sharing skills and experiences so individuals can develop towards their personal and work related goals

Mentoring can help by:

Improving young people’s attitudes towards their parents, peers and teachers;

Encouraging students to stay motivated and focused on their education;

Providing a positive way for young people to spend free time;

Helping young people face daily challenges; and

Offering young people opportunities to consider new career paths and get much-needed economic skills and knowledge.

What is a Mentor?

A mentor is a combination of 
many different people-part cheerleader, part coach, part teacher, part student, part guide, and part listener. A mentor guides, inspires, encourages, counsels, advises, questions, and answers. A mentor 
can play many roles, such as a caring adult, 
career counselor, or Mentor Place activity advisor. 
No matter how diverse the roles or how varied the responsibilities, the mentor’s primary job is to 
support their students in achieving their ultimate goal-to 
be whomever they want to be.

This professional is often charged with the task of helping to train, advice, and share practical experience with the new person in the organization. This process is commonly known as mentoring, and the professional who is responsible for the care and nurture of the newcomer is referred to as a mentor. A mentor is a guide who can help the mentee to find the right direction and who can help them to develop solutions to career issues

Obviously, a mentor who is experienced in the healthcare field is going to be able to assist you with more knowledge and expertise. A mentor should work in your type of role – for example, if you are a nurse, or aspiring nurse, you should choose an experienced, senior-level nurse to mentor you. New physicians or future physicians should find an experienced physician to mentor them, and so on.

Mentoring provides the protégé with an opportunity to think about career options and progress. If you select a mentor who is a total opposite of yourself, you may find that it’s too difficult for you to relate to that person. Therefore, it could be challenging to follow their lead and guidance. On the other hand, if you choose a mentor who is exactly like you in every way, he or she may not be able to add as much to your existing skill set as someone whose strengths balance out your weak areas to help you grow.

Life Coaching

Techniques and simple strategies for helping you to close the gap between where you are now and what you want to achieve .life coaching aims to help you achieve clarity and confidence to work through issues that are holding you back from enjoying a challenging and harmonious life. Life coaching is not about making simplistic judgments about someone’s life and telling that person how they ought to live it. The majority of coaches set out to fix what is wrong with people. I don’t believe in that approach at all. Life coaching occurs in person, by phone, through email or some combination of these three. You will have weekly contact with your coach. Life coaching normally lasts for one year or longer and begins with a three month commitment. Life coaches assist you to: overcome obstacles and fears, focus on solutions, have someone to bounce ideas off, no matter how silly they may seem, discover truths about you, and how you can improve, accomplish more than you thought possible, and achieve balance in your personal, work and family lives

Personal Coaching

Personal Coaching is a relationship which is designed and defined in a relationship agreement between a client and a coach. It is based on the client’s expressed interests, goals, and objectives. A Personal Coach may use inquiry, reflection, requests and discussion to help clients identify personal and/or business and/or relationship goals, develop strategies, relationships and action plans intended to achieve those goals. A coach provides a place for clients to be held accountable to themselves by monitoring the clients’ progress towards implementation of their action plans. Together they evolve and modify the plan to best suit the client’s needs and environmental relationships. A Personal Coach acts as a human mirror for clients by sharing an outside and unbiased perspective on what they are observing about their clients. A Personal Coach may teach specific insights and skills to empower the client toward their goals. Finally, a Personal Coach encourages the client to celebrate the achievement of milestones and goals. Clients are responsible for their own achievements and success. The client takes action; and the coach may assist, but never leads or does more than the client. Therefore, a coach cannot and does not promise that a client will take any specific action or attain specific goals.

Business Coaching

Business coaching is always conducted within the constraints placed on the individual or group by the organizational context. The coach observes the business current functioning, assesses the business strengths and weaknesses, and develops a plan for addressing any needed changes.

The concept behind business coaching is simple: to help the client achieve success in their business life. Clients who are involved in a business-oriented world are usually trying to develop their business and succeed. They may need help developing their business or they may need to learn to become more confident when facing business challenges and problems. A business coach helps the client to transform ideas and strategies into viable action while maintaining a high level of confidence. Business coaching will help clients to start a new business, increase their profits, market themselves effectively, implement new business ideas, and work more effectively in less time. When a client learns to take control of their business life they will become more successful and profitable. Business success affects all areas of a client’s life and helps to transform their entire lifestyle

Health and Sports Coaching

Sports coaching is to create the right conditions for learning to happen and to find ways of motivating the athletes. Most athletes are highly motivated and therefore the task is to maintain that motivation and to generate excitement and enthusiasm. The roles that you will find you undertake as a coach will be many and varied.

Health coaching is an evidence-based model for health behavior change. It provides structured guidance for health professionals to help patients to adhere to medical and health recommendations and to make health enhancing lifestyle changes. Health coaching is typically conducted in the context of health behavior change

Conflict Coaching

to help people examine their views about conflict and how they manage with it

to assist people to gain more insight into how conflict 
impacts on them

to facilitate shifts in how people respond rather than react to conflict and others

to encourage and help people develop and apply effective problem-solving skills

Dating Coaching

The Dating Coach keeps you from repeating the same pitfalls of the past. He teaches you how to be assertive in dating, and this not only improves your immediate dating skills, increases your success rate, and boosts your confidence, it also helps you define what you’re looking for and how to find it.

Dating coaching usually involves:

Dating do’s and don’tsFor women: how to get the guy you wantFor guys: how to approach women without fearHow to tell if it’s the right oneWhere to meet a great guy/girlHow to tell if you’re not wasting your timeHow to tell if he/she is interestedHow to start a conversation with someone you just met