This is just a sampling of the wisdom you’ll find at http://Engrish.com, a site dedicated to humorous mistranslations from Japanese to English.

In Japan, cheaply translated English is used mainly as a design element, or for export to the Little Japans of North America’s big cities. More care is usually taken on products being marketed to non-Japanese consumers, but mistakes still happen, the most memorable being the video game Zero Wing with the now world-famous “All your base are belong to us.”

Although almost all Japanese people take several years of English classes, they get little ongoing practice with the language. There are so few native English speakers in Japan that accurate English becomes both expensive and unimportant. It is only when a North American tourist comes to Japan that the following common errors become clear:

L and R interchanged — hence the name Engrish, and also frequently causing misuse of flesh and erection.

‘S’ and ’sh’ confused (the word babysitter is frequently affected).

Mixed vowels (”Fack you!”).

Inappropriate use of the word let’s (”Let’s Beer!” “Let’s get along with me!”).

Missing connecting words (”I feel Coke”).

Redundancy (”for casually casual life”).

While the site focuses on Japan, Engrish can and does occur all over the world. Many examples from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong are on the site. The Orly airport (in France) even has a Retarded Flights Restaurant. Alleged mistranslations (many from Europe) without supporting photos can be found on pages such as http://eserver.org/langs/mistranslations.txt and http://www.goodquotes.com/mistranslation.htm.

At Engrish.com, all instances of Engrish are supported by photos, and the webmaster makes an effort to detect forgeries. There is usually also a photo of the day. Some of the largest categories are Signs/Posters, Clothing, Buildings, Food and Bags/Packaging; food is split into several categories.

Engrish.com also takes submissions from you and me. If you’re ever in a non-English-speaking country, always be prepared with your camera. If not, you may still find real corrector’s items online or in any of the English-speaking world’s Chinatowns.

So visit Engrish.com today. Do it here! Do it now! You’ll laugh until you crap your hands. Thanks for being such a good time. This story is happy end.