High school is a time when kids make many choices. Sometimes the choices that students make in high school are not always agreed with by their peers, maybe because the choices are to partake in illegal activities, or maybe because the choices are to partake in dangerous or harmful activities. Despite how illegal or discouraged these may be, these years remain a time when some individuals decide to experiment. Students may choose to experiment with drugs, alcohol, and sex out of curiosity, or because they are at a place where they feel they are ready. Perhaps it is that they want to fit in and be accepted, or because there are other, deeper aspects of their lives, at home and at school, that are driving them.  At times it can be frustrating for the friends of individuals who may be making dangerous or harmful choices. This is a message to the friends of students who are making choices that might not be the most widely accepted.

It is very understandable that you feel discouraged by the behaviors of some of your friends- this occurs all over the world. Remember that if these are your friends, they should be received and treated with compassion. What I believe should be taken into consideration is this: behaviors such as drinking, drug-use, smoking, and sex are average behaviors. It is normal to feel let down when you discover that peers whom you respect behave in this way, but it is also important to recognize that these behaviors say very little about character. Character is the most important factor that should be considered if you are going to pass judgment on another. While you may be feeling let down by your friend or peer, it is of the utmost importance that you reach out to these people with compassion. The choice you make in how you react and treat your friends can have just as great of an effect on them as you feel their choices are affecting you. Just remember that although drinking, smoking, and sex may not be things that you decide to do, it doesn’t mean that the people who are doing them are bad people, or that these same people have bad work-ethics. 

One of the values of the IB Learner Profile is “Open-Minded”. Let us now take a moment to read what the IB Learner Profile says about this value:

“Open-minded: They understand and appreciate their own cultures and personal histories, and are open to the perspectives, values and traditions of other individuals and communities. They are accustomed to seeking and evaluating a range of points of view, and are willing to grow from the experience.”

It is beneficial to always keep this value in mind, especially when thinking of people or friends from school. There are some individuals who are in need of more hands-on experience in order to learn and grow, and others who are in need of less. Everyone is at a different point in their lives, and everyone must deal with deck that Life has dealt them. I encourage you to talk to your friends who are making choices that you might not agree with. Many of your friends who are engaging in drinking, smoking, and sex will learn from their experiences in some way or another, but they may only learn in a positive way and grow if you reach out to them and talk. Sometimes the conversations that you and your friends need to have can be tough, but they will always make your relationships stronger if you show compassion and a sense of caring. My suggestion would be to try as much as possible to keep an open mind about these people. Maybe they are good people who are making unusual choices simply for fun? Maybe you will end up questioning their character? The important point is, judge your peers by how they are as a person.

I’m a very diverse type of person so I desire all types of people and have experienced communicating, and being with a lot of them too. When it comes to black women, if you really want to know what they like, listen to them talk. Some like foreplay. Some hate it. Some don’t mind going downtown. Others wouldn’t even dream of it. These are things that show a persons sexual personality. But one thing they all like is that slow grinding. This is where it gets a little tricky. Most black men think black women like it hard and rough. That’s not entirely correct. Most women in general like that slow grind where you only get your penis half way in but you hit the top of the crevice and gently rub the clit of a woman.

This makes them go crazy. This area is called the G-spot and will make them cum. But most men think it is all about how deep you go in. And it is not. Also, when you hit that spot, learn that spot, remember where you are actually hitting, and then if music is on or you have a natural rhythm in your head, don’t just go in and out…dance around that spot. It’s like you are massaging her sexually. This also helps to keep the guys stamina up because you are exerting minimal energy, as well as giving her pleasure that is unimaginable.

That goes for any woman. Now to the white girls and puerto ricans. These two races like the same things pretty much. Puerto rican girls are just more aggressive. But both of them like aggressive and kinky sex. White girls tend to be known to be more “open minded” and willing to try anything. That’s why most men desire them as a sexual preference. They still like the previous thing that I was explaining earlier, but they are more prone to having foreplay before the sex. They like oral sex and anal sex. They’ll even role play for you or do the food sex thing with you. Once again, knowing what different types of women like can help. It really gives you the upper hand advantage going in to at least have an idea about what they like and don’t like.

Asian girls are more conservative than any of these races I’ve explained so far.But when you find a freak, you have found a freak. The only thing about them is the rhythm. They usually are an of tempo type of race at times. Now don’t get me wrong for some races that doesn’t matter, but me being a black man, it really matters if a girl can have a metronome in her head going so she can keep up with me. Guys who have a rhythm hate having music and trying to have sex with an individual who is off beat or can’t adapt to there speed and pace. But other than that, asian girls are freaks when they do come out. This is a rumor, but it holds itself up pretty well and it is said that mexicans and asians have the most moist vaginas when they get wet. I don’t know. This whole article is analyzations, rumors, personal experiences, and other peoples opinions. But like stereotypes, it almost proves itself to be true majority of the time.

Women, men love to dominate, but we also love a woman who can dominate and do it well. We love a woman who is open minded to do almost anything or at least try it. And we love a woman who can get on top and really perform well on a penis. That is what gets a man caught up and whipped…a woman who can do that and do it well. We also like fore play, but we don’t like to say it. We like to be kissed all over as well and be rubbed down and played with. We don’t always want to rush straight into it. We just choose to sometimes because we get excited. We love it when a woman moans, but we hate it when they yell frantically. We dispise complete silence. And we love it when women pull in close and breathe on our ears and scratch our backs. That leaves battle scars showing we was really doing our job well.

Men, women loved to be touched. They love to be caressed and they love to be gazed at and marveled at as if they are the most gorgeous thing you laid eyes on. Women like the smaller more detailed things about sex. They like the starting from the top then ending at the bottom type of things. They like to be held tight, but dealt with gently. They like to be kissed on the neck, but not bit on the neck. They like to be licked. No, they LOVE to be licked…everywhere. They like fragrances and music. They love a setting. It shows you really put time in for her and this moment. All this adds to sex for her.

I hope this helps out anyone who thought they was really doing it good in bed. Sometimes we think we got it all figured out, until we hear or see something different and realize we might have been hurting ourselves instead of helping ourselves.

This article had its beginning when I saw a question posted on a website asking why people go back and forth from saying they’re homosexual and then straight. In this woman’s original question she stated that she noticed that females will say they’re over men because of being hurt by them, then go to women (getting hurt as well,) and then go back to men. There were a lot of people who commented that if a person thinks about experimenting sexually or is with a person of a certain sex at one time in his/her life then that means he/she must be gay and must have ALWAYS had that preference. The commenters also stated they hadn’t noticed a lot of people going back and forth from saying they’re gay and then straight. This got me to thinking.

Right now I can recall at least 4 women that I’ve known well who have gone back and forth from saying they’re straight, then that they were lesbians, and then back to being straight again. One of those women has borderline personality disorder (not that this is a bad thing) but she becomes overly attached to anyone who will give her the time of day. Another one of those women used to be attracted to men more, but her now ex husband; who she’s known most of her life, cheated on her numerous times. One time that he cheated was with her extremely young sister. If he had been turned in he would have gotten statutory charges. She also was molested as a child by a cult preacher (man.) For as long as I’ve known her she’s expressed interest in females, but now she’s WAY MORE interested in them. And now she thinks that because she’s finding more interest in females it must have always been this way. I was there, I know it wasn’t. This then got me to thinking:  Why do we do this? Why do we contribute all of our likes and dislikes in the present to the people we were in the past? And why do people overlook the psychological/environmental aspects of sexual preference?

Now, reason states that if I know of at least 4 women just in my small piece of the world who have changed their sexual preferences, then it must happen more frequently than just in my experience. Reason would also state that in this fast paced world where sex is so focal, people should take more time to think about all aspects of their sexuality, including what leads up to certain experiences. In a lifetime there are continual factors that come into play that shape who we are, including our sexual tastes. So why do people want to overlook this when it comes to matters of sexuality? It seems that people who have always been homosexual or bi are hesitant to admit that there can be anyone who hasn’t been like that from birth. Is it because they think if there are people who aren’t born with that original preference then that somehow means they couldn’t have been born with that preference? Is it because as humans we’re innately threatened by anyone that appears different from ourselves?— ” If Joe Schmo is this way, then the way I am must not be valid.”— It’s like it has to be all or nothing, every person has to be one way or the other.  Very rarely is anything all or nothing, one way or the other in this world.

There are people who have known since they were children that they’re homosexual. Then there are people who just experiment for whatever reason: Because they’re at a party, are in college (and for some reason people think college is the time to do all their experimenting), everyone else is doing it ( it looks like fun and they want to see if it is), men like seeing lesbian activity, it’s a warm body and they’re horny (and let’s face it- if you stimulate a body part, it’s gonna feel good no matter who’s doing it.) People can do whatever they want, at whatever point in their lives. There are many things that I like now that I didn’t before and never thought I would. Then there are some things that I have always liked and probably always will. At 28 I’ve found what I consider more sexual freedom. I’m more open with my sexuality and trying new things. Being who I am today it’s hard to see myself as ever being different. It’s easy to think because I want what I want now I’ve always had a hidden freak. But being self aware, I know I wasn’t always this way. I used to be a conservative Christian who didn’t even know half of what was out there that could be done. And what I did know about I didn’t desire to experience. Me admitting this doesn’t make what I’m like now any less valid, it’s just me being honest with myself. Why are people so afraid to look deeper into themselves and their lives?

Every part of ourselves doesn’t have to be wrapped in a neat little box with a ribbon. Everything doesn ‘t have to be explained. We can evaluate without condemning ourselves.

 Why do people seek to categorize and stereotype?

People evolve. In truth, some do more than others. It would be a shame for someone to be the same as he/she was at the age of 8.

Sadly, we don’t always do things because that’s what we initially wanted. Not everyone ends up being who they thought they would be when they were younger. Nor do people always end up with the type of individuals they used to think they wanted. I initially wanted to be married (only once) to a extroverted man; write children’s books; and stay in my happy, naive Christian world. Guess what? That didn’t happen. Now I’m divorced from an extroverted man (who turned out to be child diddler;) I work in home health care and write in my spare time; I’m agnostic and in a relationship with an introverted, kind man whom I never thought would be my “type.” But he’s exactly what I want now and I love him so. Furthermore, I can proudly say that I’m self aware and secure enough to know that it’s valid even if it wasn’t always this way.

I posted my opinion concerning sexuality on a website and this is a comment I received:

Sunshine, three things.
1. You are born Gay
2. You can’t change that.
3. You will go mentally mad if you try to ignore what you are attracted to and most people who “change” suffer Depression and mental issues.”

***Okay, first, no one told anyone they had to ignore anything, but people can and do change their sexual preferences. Second, everyone has some sort of issue/baggage/ i.e. mental hang-up.***

This is what I said back to the man who commented:

” If there is only two extremes of sexuality, then there are only two extremes of any other preference as well- You like something wholeheartedly or you don’t. If you are stating that EVERY person is born either straight or gay, then you are discounting the people who have preferences for both sexes. You are also overlooking people who once found a preference for the opposite sex but who have had such a bad experience with them that it is psychologically and therefore physically impossible for them to be with the opposite sex. (This is not a “mental issue.” It’s a physical reality because of an environmental influence.) You are leaving out the people who experiment for whatever reason and then find their curiosity satisfied, realize they either didn’t like it like they thought they would or like something else better, and the people who have the outlook that love and affection can come in any package.

Anyone who says that an individual’s tastes do not change over time, and that every person has to like either the opposite sex or the same sex from birth til death is just as closed-minded as the person who states that no one can be born with a specific sexual preference. And frankly, it’s offensive that you state that someone has to either be depressed or mentally ill to change their preferences or be different from what you think is the “norm.” Everyone is different and they’re not in some way defective because they don’t fit into your category.”

Is your sexuality valid? It should be, but so should your brother and sister’s sexuality. For years there has been argument over whether people are born gay or not. But why does one have to discount the other? If some people aren’t born gay that doesn’t mean there aren’t people who are. But more importantly, what difference does it make? Live your life the way you want, change anything as often as you like, and be happy. There are no colors, languages, preferences, or limitations that separate us. There should be but one flag that unites us all, and that is the flag of love.

Picture Source

Recently, I have been playing a progressive rummy game with my parents. It is fun, it is interesting and it is a great way to spend important bonding time with people you care about. But, as you play you also learn a great deal. For example, if you hold onto too many straights or too many three-of-a-kinds you can run yourself into trouble. You need to see what you are holding in your hand and make an early commitment to certain cards. There is always a possibility that you can form any straight or three of a kind option with any of the combinations. But if you do not choose and commit to the most promising pattern your hand is showing you, you may end up with nothing in the end.

Sometimes, making a commitment to some cards may mean that you lose out on a really good hand. But, those are the cards. And, every decision you make today, in the end defines the outcome of your hand. You can be more alert, make sure that you keep your eyes on what other people have picked up and discarded, but in the end, it has to do with a bit of luck and a bit of skill.

But, if you want to “play the game” and have any chance of winning anything in life, you need to take those chances. There will always be another card game. There will always be another chance to start again. You will make mistakes from time to time. Wished you had kept a card or discarded one you held too soon. Sometimes, you may not be paying attention too clearly and you will not play your hand as best as you could have. You might be tired; your mind might be on something else. It will happen from time to time. Don’t beat yourself up about your mistake. Learn from it, move on, and congratulate yourself for the plays that you did that were successful.

I used to get very upset when I was losing a hand of cards and then I decided to change this. Because then I would feel very bad, like I was a sore loser. I began to hate a game that I loved when I was winning. So, then I started to tell my parents that if my dad won, he would have to eat more healthy, eat less of the wonderful biscotti treat that he loves. He needs to lose some weight. I want him to live as long as possible.

On the surface, begrudgingly he agreed to the bet, but upon a closer look, there was a twinkle of love and appreciation in his eye. Suddenly, if he won the game it became a good thing and if I lost, I really won again, because he would be eating better. I did the same thing with my mother on a different thing that would better her life. And, just like that, the game was enjoyable again.

I never realized how much I could learn from a simple card game. If you keep yourself open to life, the possibilities of greatness are truly endless. All it takes is a fist full of cards.

Joie Schmidt © Copyright 2007 All Rights Reserved.

==================================================================

Dreams of the Heart – volume I by Joie Schmidt is available:

  * Volume I: Amazon Kindle, Adobe Reader, iTunes, iPod, iPhone, iPad and iBooks

Dreams of the Heart – volume II is available:

  * Volume II: Amazon Kindle, Adobe Reader

———> Stay tuned . . . vol. II will soon be available on iTunes, iPod, iPhone, iPad and iBooks!

(*In memoriam of the tragedy in Japan all proceeds from – volume I – sales will go to the relief efforts until 3/11/12)

==================================================================

For more great reading:

• Do Something Positive
• Everything is Important
• The Brighter Side of Life
• Tips to Keep You Motivated
• Create the Life of Your Dreams
• You Can Always Lift You Spirits
• Empowerment and Understanding
• Positive Feelings Equals Optimal Health
• How to Keep Your Articles in Constant Circulation
• Get a Daily Dose of Motivation Today, Tomorrow, and the Next

Do you have a story, poem, artwork or photography you’d like to share and earn residual income for life? Please check out this site to earn limitless income for life: Triond

In last night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy, America cried as O’Malley raged against his colleagues for performing a dangerous surgery on his father. His father had insisted they go through with the surgery, no matter how much his son resisted. As a result, his life hangs in the balance for one more week.

Great television. Great philosophy. The doctors seemed to be fulfilling the wishes of their patient, who wanted nothing more than to live. In the process, they overlooked one major detail.

(As O’Malley so profoundly put it…) The risk of surgery was too great. Without it, his family could have had weeks, months to say goodbye to him.

His father didn’t know any better; they did.

America hung on every word as the doctors defended themselves. Our hearts ached for them, knowing they had fulfilled a dying man’s wishes at all costs. We never considered another side to this story until O’Malley pointed out the obvious. His father had no medical knowledge of the risks. His father had only personal interpretation, a personal opinion of what would work best. In life or death, black and white, yes or no, there is no room for an uneducated opinion. And for once in our lives, last night America understood that.

The Effect

There is a defined line between fact and opinion that is often overlooked by the uneducated. Basic philosophy teaches that opinions can never be proven, only argued in an educated manor. Since this is undeniably the case, neither can any one be more right or more wrong than another. Unfortunately, opinions can most certainly be argued better or worse, causing them to seem much more factual than they really are.

Such is the case in the everyday lives of Americans. Each of us walks this Earth with stout opinions, the majority of which we will argue to no end. Some of us argue them exquisitely. We rarely stop to consider the origin of these views on politics, religion, love, life, wrong, right. In most cases, we can’t even pinpoint when they came to be. But they are our opinions and as Americans we have the right to them. And as Americans we reserve our right to voice them and to vote for officials who voice them too. And we argue our points of view and present them as facts to the opposition. And we shun nonbelievers and anyone else who resists our way of thinking. And we pat ourselves on the back for standing up for what we believe in and all is well and good in this free, opinionated country of ours.

Until the time comes to make an educated decision, one that must be based on consideration of fact. A decision in which we are no longer allowed to hang on to these personal opinions that we’ve picked up along the way, from God-knows-who, or Allah-knows-where. Once this time comes, we must push all opinion to the side and base our decision on honest-to-goodness truths. But by this time, we, with our outspoken opinons and steadfast beliefs, have voted into office politicians who were equally as passionate about abortion/gay marriage/capital punishment/this issue/that issue as we were. We elected those who were best at voicing their opinions. Who best argued what we were not able to so poetically argue. We never stopped for a second to think that our opinions were just that: opinions. We never stopped to listen to any other side of the argument, much less one that outright opposed our own. We went to the rallies and the debates and the voting booths with our fists in the air, chanting our beliefs with blinders on, never skipping a beat.

The Movement

Much like O’Malley, America will never see the wrong in viewing opinion as fact until we remove ourselves from the decision-making process and teach ourselves how to look at things objectively. As a country, we must find a way to understand that our opinions are not black and white truths. We must find a way to look past our massive opinions and consider what is best for ourselves personally and collectively. We have become so sided… Right vs. Left, Democrats vs. Republicans, Conservative vs. Liberal, Pro-Bush vs. Anti-Bush… that we’ve forgotten that we are all suppose to be on the same side. Instead of arguing our opinions every day, we should be working together.

How is the best way to conserve the freedom that allows us to be so closed-minded? How can we protect ourselves so that we may argue another day? How can we keep the country safe so that we may find out the fate of George O’Malley’s father? These are the important questions that we must answer together, after considering all of the facts. Let’s forget, for just a while, that we came from different sides and we have such different views and we have been arguing for generations and we don’t even know why. Let’s forget our opinions for just a while and evaluate our country’s current situation. Let’s redirect all the energy we’re wasting throwing blame from one person to the next and find a logical route from where we are now to where we want to be. Let’s all jump on the same ship before each of us drowns in regret. When this is all said and done, our children or grandchildren’s children can pick up our gloves and continue fighting right where we left off. But until then, let’s focus on making sure they get the chance.