Dealing with Breakups – Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves

Steps to overcoming the pain and hurt of a breakup, and how to find happiness again.

As the great philosopher Aristotle once said, “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” You can’t rely on money, material things, or even other people to make yourself happy. In order to be happy during a relationship or after it has ended, you must be happy with yourself. A breakup is just one of the sticky situations in life that we all experience, some more than others.

Breaking Up With the Person You Love

Dealing with heartache and heartbreak is never easy, no matter the circumstances. You may have caught them cheating, and ended it yourself, or maybe one of you just couldn’t deal with the long distance relationship any longer. All you can remember are the memories you had together, and possibly the thoughts of a future you would have shared together. It can be a very painful experience and people have different ways of trying to cope. You may find yourself terribly unhappy and unable to enjoy the things you once loved. Here are some things you can do:

  1. Let Those Emotions Flow: letting go of a person who you care about can play a huge toll on the emotions. Every song you hear, place you visit, or conversation you have may leave you thinking of them. Grieving is the first step to healing. Keeping bad emotions inside is harmful to the body. It may take days, even months, but once you have dealt with your emotions you will be a happier person.
  2. Learn to Forgive: if things ended badly, you may be experiencing a lot of hurt and even anger. Reframe from sending hate mail via e-mail, or leaving nasty messages on their answering machine. Not only are you too good for them, but you are too good for that. Stop wasting your time! They don’t deserve your attention for another minute. Forgive them for the things they have done, and you will find it easier to move on to bigger and better things.
  3. Learn to Forget: It will take time. Time and time again you will hear someone say “you will heal in time.” Chances are you will not believe it at the time, but it is true. Once you learn to focus on the present and all that you have going for you, new wonderful memories will grow.
  4. Exercise and Eat Healthy: go for a run, join the gym, or attend a yoga class! Exercising gives the body, mind, and soul a natural high. It will leave you feeling refreshed and positive. Plus, you may just catch the eye of the person at the gym beside you!
  5. Stay Confident: don’t let your self esteem dwindle because someone dumped you. You’re fun, your beautiful, your the perfect match for someone out there! Confidence is key, not only to feeling great about yourself, but attracting future love interests for when you ready to join back in the game.
  6. Do Something Special For Yourself: after a painful experience you should treat yourself. After all, you deserve it. Go get that manicure you’ve been wanting, or that CD you’ve been dying to listen to. Do the things you enjoy most.
  7. Keep A Journal or Diary: write about the things that make you happy. Putting emphasis on the good things in life will boast your positive thoughts and feelings. Record the things you are grateful for. Are you appreciating all the beautiful things life has to offer?
  8. Go Out With Your Friends: chances are, you did not spend a tonne of time with your friends while you were in your relationship. Go out with your friends. If you’re feeling really down, talk about it with them, even ask them for advice. Just have fun! By the end of the night you will hopefully remember how great it is to be single.
  9. Get Back On the Road to Happiness: Remember, “happiness depends upon yourself.” You don’t need a boyfriend or girlfriend to be happy. There are plenty of things to be grateful for in life. Spend extra time with friends and family — the people who make you happy!

Words About Life

Spiritual understanding of existence, karma, the difference between soulful life and ego-orientated life.

Indeed the universal implications must be known in order to have a controlled life. Indeed when such thoughts arise in the mind, feelings of insanity might arise as well. The universe works in sequences, rhythms, patterns and cycles. It could be frustrating realizing this concept, watching everything repeat itself could get annoying, especially when the ones around you don’t realize that humanity and the rest of the world are part of an endless cycle. The benefit of knowing this concept outweighs the negative aspect of it. Instead of complaining about the cycle, realize you start the motions. You can either start a negative or positive motion; the power lies in your hands.

If you start a negative motion it will repeat itself until you realize it and stop it, or else it will just spin and spin. Realize that you are a soul and not a body. The body is just the soul’s instrument, and when the instrument becomes old and rusty, doesn’t work as it used to, the soul discards the body and gets another one. There is no such thing as “death” really. It is only a moment in one’s life when the body becomes too weak to work anymore and is not a benefit for the soul any longer. One could say it is also a time when the soul’s mission is complete, however only for that period of time because it will return and have a new objective. Nevertheless, there is one general objective the all souls must strive to carry out, that is spirituality, to be connected to the supreme soul while having its presence on earth. However, through many births this objective in majority of cases has been neglected and forgotten.

Through many births the soul consciousness has been replaced by body consciousness, this means that the body rather than the soul governs actions. This means that majority of people will do things if there is a benefit for them. This means that anger, jealousy, egotism, arrogance, selfishness, ignorance, attachment to physical objects, thirst for power, lust, become apparent in one’s life. Those who live by soul consciousness would never live by such negative aspects. A soul sees everyone as a brother or a sister; the soul sees everyone as one. The soul sees everyone pure as crystal water. The soul will never fully attach itself to a physical object, knowing that physical objects sooner or later will crumble to nothingness.

It knows that by seeking happiness in physical objects, that happiness will last as long as that physical object or as long as one has an attachment towards it. It knows that happiness through materialism is temporal; through soul consciousness happiness is eternal. It is logical to consider the fact that when one is dependent on an external factor, the fulfillment will not last due to the fact that nothing is permanent. Therefore, if one is merely dependent on one’s internal nature, which is everlasting, the fulfillment is eternal. In order for this to occur, one needs to reach a certain spiritual plateau from which this internal fulfillment will arouse. By living with a body consciousness, a person will be living in an a illusion believing it is reality. The mental perspective of the world itself is an illusion.

The world you live in is the world that lives within your mind. Your perspective is only due to your state of mind, each mind equals a different world. However, by going back to soul consciousness, one awakes from their illusionary dream and sees the world with clarity and truth. By living a righteousness life and meditating and by reading spiritual material one can gain such clarity. Soul and body consciousness are of the same essence, tails and heads of a coin. Spirituality is not a religion, it is not a way of life, it is life, true essence of life. There are no rituals, no customs, no worship; all that is required is to live with a soul consciousness, to be righteous and to be aware of the universal laws. Spirituality is the core of religions, it is the core and the religions are the seeds, which have grown to be what they are due to their environment and time. In essence they are pretty much the same.

The problem is that they have been interpreted wrongly and manipulated; one must look upon without attaching oneself to it and with an open mind to see the meaning with a wider perspective. It is mostly written metaphorically and the meaning lies deeper, it is important not to take it literally. Most of the stories, which are taken literally have a certain meaning but lose their true meaning. For example, many will disagree with this but many will agree, it depends on the state of mind. The main figurehead other than God, of the Bible is Jesus. He has been portrayed as a son of God, as a messiah who came down to earth, he was indeed.

However, Jesus said that he is the son of God indicating that everyone else is a son or daughter of God. He didn’t say it to indicate that he is all powerful and that everyone must obey him. He also said that everyone could be him if they wanted. Furthermore, anyone who comes here, earth, to elevate humanity and to preach peace and love is a messiah. He came down to play his role; everyone has their role to play. This is an example of manipulation; the Christian scholars, the apostles got people to worship a man, like an idol, which is against their law. Yes he had spiritual powers but everyone can achieve them if they tried hard enough, perhaps to a lesser degree, that was one of the things Jesus preached about. Muhammad is very similar to Jesus, pretty much preached the same words. However, Muhammad said he is no God and must not be worshipped, that he is only a man. One does not need to seek out to find a meaning to life or to seek out to find truth, does not need a God to worship but only acknowledged, truth and meaning lies within oneself. There is a whole world waiting to be discovered within you. The purpose of life is to give it a purpose, the truth of life is hidden within you. Meditating is not a religious aspect, nor a Buddhist or Hindu practice.

It is a universal aspect; it is a natural method and a very powerful method of transforming the mind. It is not used to empower breath control or just to relax, even though they are part of it, but the main point is to enlighten the soul by connecting it to a higher source. Just close your eyes and watch how it brightens your soul and how the light envelops your mind. The absence of spiritual light leads to darkness, the negativity and sorrow in one’s life. While being internally dark, the words you speak and the actions you perform will release the darkness, resulting in more sorrow for yourself and the people around you. The outer world will be only a reflection of the inner darkness; things might seem meaningless and distressful. However, when the inner light is shinning the opposite occurs, being that darkness and light are complete opposites, one’s eyes glitter exposing the inner peace.

One’s actions and words are performed with care and love. By sharing the light with others and seeing people benefit from it and become happier results in more happiness inside. Due to the inner light, the outer world in result shines as well. One should realize that one’s actions are judged and are returned to him, this is the law of Karma. The family that you have, the friends, everyone you meet, the situation that you are in, the hard times you have the good times you have, everything in your life, it might sound unfair but they are all fruits of your creation. The seeds you plant are the flowers that you will get. There is no one to blame but yourself. It is more logical to blame yourself rather than God, after all He did give you free will, the way you use it is your choice. To blame God is to say that He is cruel and loves hurting people, that He is blood thirsty and loves to see people suffer This perhaps answers the question, why do innocent suffer; well perhaps they are not innocent after all.

This is due to their past life or actions that they did in the past, the actions that they carried in their past life or what they did in the past have returned to them. This doesn’t mean that one has to suffer due to his actions forever; any negative situation is a sign that something needs to be changed. By changing your actions you change your present state, which changes your future. Nothing is coincidental, there is no luck or miracles, everything happens for a reason and everything has a meaning.

By going deep inside yourself you will find the real self. You will find your role and your purpose in life. Good things don’t come easy but bad things do, the harder you try the better the feeling when you get the result. It is a hard journey but the most important journey.