Many children struggle with writing, but it doesn’t have to be this way. In fact, in short time, a mediocre young writer can become a good one. Here are five ways:

1. Set aside a time for journal writing: This is something, admittedly, that should be happening in school with second and third graders at a perfect age to begin basic freeform composition. If this isn’t happening, give a kid 15 or 20 minutes each day to jot down their thoughts, practice writing for themselves, and hone their craft. And consider transfering schools.

2. Work with a child on their writing: Let me address this one personally, as I remember how I got my start in writing. Early in third grade, I brought home a report I’d written on the sun that I’d gotten a well-deserved D on, for lackadaiscal focus and scant information. Sitting me down at the kitchen table, my dad proceeded to work with me until I was regularly getting A’s on my reports on the solar system. It wasn’t always easy work, with me sometimes bursting into tears as my dad methodically taught me attention to detail, but I learned to write reports packed with every bit of pertinent information, as if my reader was from another planet. More than 20 years later now, my father’s lessons are still with me.

3. Insist on reading time: Sports Illustrated columnist Joe Posnanski was asked by a baseball website in 2010 what advice he’d give to an aspiring sportswriter. He replied:

“I always say that, to me, it starts with reading. This is something I tell high school kids, college kids, people trying to get into the business, that it’s just so much about reading. Read, read, read. So much of everything else falls into place when you just do a ton of reading. It works on so many different levels. When you’re reading, obviously, it gives you the knowledge, the background and that sort of thing. But also it helps you, I really believe, form words in your mind. It gives you an idea of how things need to be written, it gives you style points. There’s just so many things, some of them very much below the surface.”

4. Give kids ways to publicly showcase their writing: With the rise of the Internet, it’s easier than ever for anyone to write for an audience. One thing some parents are doing is allowing their children to start their own blogs, albeit with appropriate levels of supervision. Children thrive on positive reinforcement and can build their confidence sharing their work publicly. In time, it can lead to other writing opportunities.

5. If all else fails, hire a writing tutor: There’s no shame in engaging tutors. Often times, they can offer expertise and hands-on instruction outside the normal parental realm.

Denise James, a <a href=”http://tutorspot.com/professional-writing-tutor.html”>writing tutor</a>, is a retired teacher and now opens a small tutoring center that help <a href=”http://www.tutorspot.com/”>tutors</a> kids in math, science and writing. During her free time she loves to write and travel around Asia.

Throughout history the young have been ignoring their parent’s advice. How is it that seldom anyone ever gets it? “Do not do X or Z will happen.” So they do X anyway and watch as Z unfolds and are some how unable to figure out the simple logic. reprimand

Little kids aren’t any better, but by stressing the concept to them over and over it will certainly be more likely that repetition engraves it in their minds. The key to this is how you present this logic. There are plenty of ways to go about this, but here we will cover two.

Method #1: “Do what your told or else.”

Of course as a parent it is extremely important that we not forget to discipline our children, it is a necessary step in preparing them for the world. However, the idea of using the phrase “Do what your told or else” is that it inevitably leads the child to a different logic. He will reason poorly that if he does X and no one notices that Z will not occur. This leads him to believe that Z is the enemy, one which he must do all in his power to prevent without sacrificing his practice of X.

With this reasoning a child will lose all care for right and wrong/cause and effect and worse yet is that if he continues it will become habit. If unnoticed the child will develop pride in what he is doing, if his actions are spotted but not strictly checked he will learn to manipulate to get his way. So how then, do we prevent our child from developing this self destructive reasoning?

Let us take a look at Method #2: “Just do as you’re told and you will never be in trouble.”

I heard this saying from a very wise man, who had in turn heard it from a wiser man. He used this maxim to stress to his children the importance of seeing what their actions had caused. His children (he has many of them) were of a particularly troublesome sort; they were hyper, destructive, and all boys. In order to control the chaos in his household he used Method #2 to maintain order. Humans are very self-conscious creatures, and even more so as children.

Before he grounded them for smashing the TV, for breaking the bed, or for setting the kitchen on fire he would explain to them: “What did I tell you would happen if you didn’t stop sitting on the T.V.?” “Why do you think I told you to stop jumping on the bed?” “What did I tell you would happen if you stuck a diaper on the burner while dinner’s cooking?” Then he grounded them, but it was clear to them why, and they knew they were in the wrong. After that no one broke anymore TV’s or beds, and the physical properties of fire were better understood. They understood that it was better to not do X, because it was probably stupid.

For years, people just joked that Chris was a bad speller, with Chris himself even offering this assesment. Eventually, though, a specialist was able to discover the source of Chris’s problem, that he was partially dyslexic. In time, with a little help, Chris got over his problem and became ever stronger academically. He even went to college on a full academic scholarship, and thrived there as well. Today, he does highly-placed government work, and it’s doubtful any of his colleagues know he once pronounced the word Phoenix as “Puff Uh Neex”

Kids like Chris show the benefits that specialists can offer. No longer is the word special just applied to slow children when referenced in terms of education. No, smart kids, as well, can benefit from the occasional powwow with reading tutors, speech therapists, and other educational professionals.

Ahead of the first trip to see a specialist, here are a few ways to help children read better:

1. Be cognizant, not dismissive, of any struggles a child may be having: It can be easy to chalk a kid’s educational shortcomings up to general imperfections, and certainly, it’s typically good practice to recognize that no one’s perfect academically. But as Chris’s case shows, what may be seen as a lovable quirk can also be a sign of a deeper, addressable issue, one worth tackling early lest it snowball. Pay attention to it.

2. Don’t tolerate bullying by other children: Chris had a good enough head on his shoulders and a secure enough sense of self to take good-natured ribbing from his friends in stride. If all the teasing fazed him, it was never outwardly apparent. For many other kids, though, getting chided for their literary struggles can have a noticeable and stifling effect on their desire to read. Any parent or teacher would do well to be on the lookout for bullying or teasing, being quick to nip it in the bud.

3. Work diligently on reading with a child: A parent may have their work cut out for them on helping their child boost their literary abilities. Besides simply reading with their children and helping with test prep, parents have a lot of other things they can do to help them in this regard. It’s important to show kids that it’s okay to learn at their own pace. And while it may be a struggle, good parents are also those who are patient as their children struggle through seemingly basic words. With enough patience, maybe these children will be in their shoes eventually.

Denise James is a retired teacher and now opens a small tutoring center offering <a href=”http://tutorspot.com/professional-state-tests-tutor.html”>test prep</a> courses to help students study for the SAT or other K-12 class exams They have math, science and <a href=”http://www.tutorspot.com/professional-reading-tutor.html”>reading tutors</a> to help kids prepare and improve their skills. During her free time she loves to write and travel around Asia.

Coaches, Teachers, Preachers, Priest…so many people that parents trust with the kids. That is why it is sooooooo important for parents to talk and LISTEN to their kids daily. Ask them about their day. Watch their behavior and report anything suspicious. If the school doesnt act go to the police. I do know for a fact that the police wil send you back to the school and tell yo to report it to the school police…It happened when I was a foster mom. But I demanded a report be taken. I didnt allow them to turn me away. A parent has to be the childs voice. They have no one else to do it for them

Over 56,000 cases of child sexual abuse were reported and substantiated in 2007.

As many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood.

In as many as 93% of child sexual abuse cases, the child knows the person that commits the abuse.

Most perpetrators are acquaintances, but as many as 47% are family or extended family.

Approximately 30% of cases are reported to authorities. These are SAD facts……only 30% reported….Abusers are bullies…We have got to LISTEN to the children….

Facts about Sex Offenders

Let us see how much we know-and see how much of what we think has been based on the myths we have all heard about sexual assault and sex offenders. Take 5 minutes to complete the True or False Quiz: 

Most men who commit sexual offenses do not know their victim.  False. 90% of child victims know their offender, with almost half of the offenders being a family member. Of sexual assaults against people age 12 and up, approximately 80% of the victims know the offender.

Most sexual assaults are committed by someone of the same race as the victim.  True. Most sexual assaults are committed by someone of the same race as the victim. An exception to this is that people who commit sexual assault against Native Americans are usually not Native American (American Indians and Crime, 1999).

Most child sexual abusers use physical force or threat to gain compliance from their victims.  False. In the majority of cases, abusers gain access to their victims through deception and enticement, seldom using force. Abuse typically occurs within a long-term, ongoing relationship between the offender and victim and escalates over time.

Most child sexual abusers find their victims by frequenting such places as schoolyards and playgrounds.  

False. Most child sexual abusers offend against children whom they know and with whom they have established a relationship. Many sexual assaults of adult women are considered “confidence rapes,” in that the offender knows the victim and has used that familiarity to gain access to her.

Only men commit sexual assault.  False. While most sex offenders are male, sometimes sex offenses are committed by female offenders.

Child sexual abusers are only attracted to children and are not capable of appropriate sexual relationships.  

False. While there is a small subset of child sexual abusers who are exclusively attracted to children, the majority of the individuals who sexually abuse children are (or have previously been) attracted to adults.

Victims of sexual assault are harmed only when offenders use force.  

False. More than any physical injuries the victim sustains, the violation of trust that accompanies most sexual assaults has been shown to dramatically increase the level of trauma the victim suffers. Emotional and psychological injuries cause harm that can last much longer than physical wounds.

If a child does not tell anyone about the abuse, it is because he or she must have consented to it. False. Children often do not tell for a variety of reasons including the offender’s threats to hurt or kill someone the victim loves, as well as shame, embarrassment, wanting to protect the offender, feelings for the offender, fear of being held responsible or being punished, fear of being disbelieved, and fear of losing the offender who may be very important to the child or the child’s family.

It is common for both child and adult victims of sexual assault to wait some time before telling someone about the abuse.  True. It is common for victims of sexual assault to wait some time before telling someone. When the person was assaulted as a child, he or she may wait years or decades. The reasons for this are numerous: victims may want to deny the fact that someone they trusted could do this to them; they may want to just put it behind them; they may believe the myth that they caused the assault by their behavior; or they may fear how other people will react to the truth.

If someone sexually assaults an adult, he will not target children as victims, and if someone sexually assaults a child, he will not target adults.  False. Research and anecdotal evidence indicate that while some sex offenders choose only one type of victim (e.g., prepubescent girls, post-pubescent boys, adult women, etc.), others prey on different types of victims. Therefore, no assumptions should be made about an offender’s victim preference and precautions should be taken regardless of his crime of conviction.

It helps the victim to talk about the abuse.   

True. The victim’s recovery will be enhanced if she or he feels believed, supported, protected, and receives counseling following the disclosure that s/he was assaulted. However, sexual assault victims should always have the choice about when, with whom, and under what conditions they wish to discuss their experiences.

Sexual gratification is often not a primary motivation for a rape offender.   

True. While some offenders do seek sexual gratification from the act, sexual gratification is often not a primary motivation for a rape offender. Power, control, and anger are more likely to be the primary motivators

Offenders could stop their sexually violent behavior on their own if they wanted to.   

False. Wanting to change is usually not enough to be able to change the patterns that lead to sexual offenses. To create the motivation to change, some offenders need a variety of treatment and corrective interventions, and for others learning how to make the change in their own behavioral cycle of abuse is more effective.

Men who rape do so because they cannot find a consenting sexual partner.  

False. Studies suggest that most rape offenders are married or in consenting relationships.

Drugs and alcohol cause sexual offenses to occur.   

False. While drugs and alcohol are often involved in sexual assaults, drugs and alcohol do not cause sexual offenses to occur. Rather, drug and alcohol use may be a disinhibitor for the offender, while being under the influence may increase a potential victim’s vulnerability.

Victims of sexual assault often share some blame for the assault.   

False. Adult and child victims of sexual abuse are never to blame for the assault, regardless of their behavior. Because of the age difference, children are unable to legally consent to sexual acts. They are often made to feel like willing participants, which further contributes to their shame and guilt.

If a victim does not say “no” or does not “fight back,” it is not sexual assault.  

False. Sexual assault victims may not say “no” or not fight back for a variety of reasons including fear and confusion. Rape victims often report being “frozen” by fear during the assault, making them unable to fight back; other victims may not actively resist for fear of angering the assailant and causing him to use more force in the assault. Pressure to be liked and not be talked about negatively by a peer will sometimes cause adolescents or children to avoid fighting back or actively resisting.

It is time for people to stand up for those that can’t do it for themselves. Why can adults hide behind contracts and say I couldn’t call the police my contract said so? Bull shit!!! When you take on a job working with kids you are morally obligated to protect them.

The government needs to step in and now stay you will be legally obligated as well. Doctors, Teachers, Social workers, Therapists and more are… So should boy and girl scout leaders, sports coaches, foster parents, tutors …anyone that has access to children..

We trust them..they have full access to our children…..They should also be legally obligated to protect them….If they know they are being abused they are just as bad as the abuser…..

They are adult BULLIES…They are Bullying our children..It has got to stop!!          Hold them accountable!!!!!!

Be these days the boys are being used and abused by the men that parents trust the most.

Parents need to pay attention when the kids dont want to go to school. practice, church…dont want to be alone with a man…start paying CLOSE attention…. ask questions….dont assume that person YOU trust…is the best person for your child.

Please watch for the signs….If your usually loveable loud happy child is quiet, sad, crying or angry…..ask questions…take them to a counselor…Do not stop asking questions….Find out why he has changed

If you love someone, you make time for them and they make time for you. You feel it and they do. When one of you is hurting, sad, happy, excited or whatever the mood when you are in sync you will know without a single word being said.

This applies to your children as well. When my daughter walks in I can tell when something is on her mind without a word being said. I don’t ignore it. I ask and make time to listen. I let her know she is important to me. You can’t ask someone how their day was then walk away, answer the phone, watch television or start cooking. You have to make time to listen if you ask the question.

Many times people can talk and talk about themselves, but don’t make the time to listen to others. You are no more important than the person listening. Always be observant of those you say you love. If they are unusually quiet, isolated, withdrawn or angry talk to them. Don’t lecture but get them to talk. Listen to what they have to say. You don’t always have to give advice, sometimes all a person needs is someone to listen.

Sometimes all they need is someone to hold them and show they care. Never be to busy for those you claim to love. When my phone rings and my loved ones are talking to me, I let it ring. The television show can wait, the dinner can simmer….when someone you love needs you…and you say you love them…SHOW IT

Saying it all day, all week all year long doesn’t mean a thing …If you aren’t there when it really counts

Know and teach your child the signs of a wrongful touch

Signs of Wrongfull Touch

There are thousands of children’s innocents being violated everyday. The majority of the children that are being wrongfully touched are being wrongfully touched right at home by a family member or a friend of the families. Alot of family members don’t know the signs of misconduct or they overlook the acts of a child thats being wrongfully touched, so in my article through my own experiences of being a child that was wrongfully touched by a family member I hope what I went through will shed a little light on what to look out for:

1.) A child that cry’s continously when you drop them off at a sitters, family members, day care, etc. or cries when you leave them at home with a person and they never use to cry in the past.

2.) When your child tells you that there’s monster in the closet or coming out of a vent and they just can’t sleep because they were told this from the one who is wrongfully touching them.

3.) your child suddenly at night is taking off there clothes and your finding them with no clothes on in the morning.

4.) When your child is suddenly wetting the bed for no apparent reason and they never done that in the past.

5.) If your child is being violated at home your child suddenly is by your side at all times and doesn’t want to leave your side or suddenly they want to start sleeping in your bed with you.

6.) A sign that I noticed is when you ask your child if someone’s doing things to them and they have the look of fear in there eye’s and there very quiet because the one that’s violating them is in the room with both of you when asked.

7.) A dramatic drop in school grades at school and suddenly your getting notices home with your child that there not listening and doing there work during class time.

8.) If your child is female your child will suddenly complain of her private areabeing sore when she uses the restroom or her private area is red routinely even though she was tested for an infection. If male they”ll also complain of there private area hurting as well.

9.) You’ll also notice your child not listening to what there told to do, they have behavioral out breaks and develope an hate attitude towards everything.

10.) You also notice out of no where your child will start calling themselves stupid and they”ll start hitting themselves in the head.

11.) When you child is telling you or someone to touch there private area and giving the private areas nicknames.

12.) When your child is constantly changing there underwear because they feel dirty in that area.

These are a few things that I have experienced and have seen happen with children that have been violated. If you feel your child is being violated don’t be afraid to ask them but do it in a room where no one else is around, reassure your child that it’s ok to tell you and that you wouldn’t get mad and that it’s not there fault, also reassure that if someone told them that they would hurt you or them that is’t not going to happen that it’s all lies, If that’s one thing a violator does is they put fear into children that if they tell that they’ll hurt them or a family member. If your child say’s it’s a family memeber don’t doubt them by thinking no that couldn’t be because I’m sorry to tell you YES it can be and it probably is cause most of the time it happens with in the family. I hope these things that I listed are an eye opener because many people don’t know what to look for or understand why there’s a change in there childs’ behavior and maybe you need to ask yourself if this could be happening to your child.

Be informed. You can check your area. Know who your children are around. 

http://www.nsopw.gov/Core/Portal.aspx

 In California you cn research your area here as well http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/disclaimer.aspx?lang=ENGLISH

Do not fret though; I now live in a bespoke 4 bedroom house with three floors. How? A loft conversion. Why struggle with the property market when you can just improve what you already have? It’s made all the difference to my life and family home, it feels like my house has been given room and we no longer live on top of each other.

The sky’s the limit when it comes to a conversion. You can use your loft space for an extra bedroom or playroom for the kids, a creative space for art-making or music practice, another toilet, a media room or really anything you need to use the space for. Personally, I’ve created a new bedroom for Oscar, my 7 year-old boy which he loves because it’s a Hip to Gable, loft conversion that apparently makes it look like a spaceman bedroom, with the slanted walls and the Velux windows.

I had total control in how I was going to design my loft space and could have created any type of layout that took my fancy. In addition to this, everyone who worked on my conversion was very diligent, respectful and committed to getting the conversion completed as quickly as possible which is a tribute to the bespoke company I used.

In comparison to conservatories as a method of expanding your home, a loft conversion makes a lot more sense. The loft of your home can be properly insulated and have plumbing installed so that you can live in it where as a conservatory is far less energy efficient and would be impossible to house a bedroom. My convert has expanded upon the amount of live able space available in my family and my loft has become just another floor of the house.

The way that I have had the staircase leading up to my conversion installed means no loss of space as it’s positioned directly above the existing staircase. The detail of the staircase blends in perfectly with the rest of my home and it seems as if the conversion has always been there.  

With the addition of crawl-space storage to my loft I still retain the space to store all of the stuff that was in the loft. It is also a good reason to go and get rid of all the rubbish you no longer need as we found when we had our loft done. There is a pull down door in the loft and I can get access to all of the things in there without having to climb a ladder.

All in all, I’d recommend a loft conversion to anyone who is struggling with the volatile property market and needs to expand.

To speak with one of our experts visit the website of Jones Brothers Loft Conversions. They have much more information regarding loft conversions in Surrey and give free advice on request. Always ensure your chosen company uses qualified tradesman such as our Electrician in Bournemouth.  You can visit many of our completed jobs and speak with past customers to gain feedback.

This is a huge contributing factor to children becoming addicted to television. Adults tend to use the television as an easy means of babysitting. So the first step is to stop this practice. Sure it makes it easy for you to get the laundry done or the dishes washed, but you are contributing to a bigger problem down the road.

2. Don’t Allow a Television in Their Room

This sounds harsh doesn’t it? However, many children today have a television and DVD player in their rooms. This can be distracting for children. Some may sit for hours in their room like zombies, ignoring their chores, homework, and simply being a kid. This also isn’t a good way to monitor what your child is watching either.

3. Schedule TV Time

Scheduling a limited amount of time for a child to watch television is a good step in preventing the addiction. Discuss what shows or movies your child likes then decide what would be an appropriate amount of time for them to watch television. It is important for your to review your child’s choices first to make sure it something you are fine with them watching.

4. Don’t Let Them Fall Asleep With the TV On

Allowing your child to fall asleep with the television on is a bad habit to get into. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. One of my children became dependent upon having the television on as he fell asleep. What we realized was that he typically stayed up longer and didn’t get a restful night’s sleep. He woke up the next morning exhausted and cranky. It took what seems like forever to break him of this habit. Once I did, he slept better and woke up the next morning feeling refreshed.

5. Lead by Example

Leading by example is the best way to teach you kids not to become dependent upon the television. If you have the television on most of the time, more than likely you’re addicted too. I have a friend that doesn’t really watch television much but he must have it on all the time. This is still an addiction. How are the children supposed to learn to limit their television time if their own parent or caregiver does not do the same?

6. Pick Up a Book

Encourage your child to read a book instead of being glued to the tube. This will ignite the imagination and improve reading skill which will boost their grades in school. In fact, instead of turning on the television and watching a show together, try reading a book together.

7. Enroll in Sports

Try enrolling your child in a sport or activity they like. This provides a good source of exercise as well as promotes teamwork. That is something your child can’t get from watching television.

8. Outside Play

Weather permitting, encourage your child to play outside. Unless your child has sensitivities to the sun, the sunlight will do them some good. Although you should always wear sunscreen, the sun also provides a source for Vitamin D, which promotes good bone health. Besides most children enjoy playing, especially outdoors but sometimes you just have to give them a little push.

9. Plan Play Dates

Planning play dates that don’t involve television is another good way to prevent television addiction. This also helps encourage good social skills. Many kids are naturally social and love to have friends over.

10. Family Game Nights

Instead of the family curled up on the couch to watch television, how about plan a family game night? Not only is the fun for the whole family but is a much better way to bond with each other through interaction.

11. Family Plays

Perhaps a way to wean your young ones away from the television is to put on a family play. Let your little actors make their own show. This also ignites the imagination and sparks creativity that the whole family will enjoy.

12. Craft Projects

Children love to create. Have some craft supplies available for a variety of craft projects. Your children will enjoy creating works of art and is much more exciting than anything that can be found on television.

13. Baking

Break out the cookbooks and bake with your child. This is not only fun, but a great way to teach your child math, chemistry, and safety. The rewards are definitely better than any reward a television can offer.

As you can see, there are many ways to limit your child’s exposure to television thus helping to prevent them from becoming so dependent on it. Be creative. Have fun. Don’t let life pass them by as they watch from the sofa.

I don’t have my father anymore; he passed away in 1984, of cancer. It attacked him quickly, turning him from a vigorous 70 year-old to a pale shadow of himself in less than two years, and perhaps in the end that was merciful. He spent the last few months of his life in pain, but never allowed that pain to affect his demeanor, never letting himself become bitter or discouraged. When the doctor’s told him that he could be treated for a time, but was ultimately terminal regardless, he decided to save the family from financial ruin by accepting his mortality, and deciding to die with dignity, and honor intact.

My father taught me well how to be a man; both by his life and his death he showed me the way to walk through life with honor. The example he set for me sustains me even today; when making a tough decision, I still imagine him looking over my shoulder & telling me to make the decision that allows everyone involved to keep their self-respect and meet their own needs, by telling the truth tempered with compassion, and having the couraqe to take the responsibility for my actions.

In today’s world, surviving with one’s sanity intact is a perpetual challenge. Human society has, for some time now, begun to suffer the effects of overpopulation. Everyone alive today knows what happens when overcrowded living conditions reach a critical point; we all performed, or at least read or heard about, the experiment with a rodent population allowed to reach that point. Increasing violence and abberrant behavior, breakdown of societal norms, food, water, & shelter become items of primary import. Ultimately, the colony dies, and being human does not shelter us as a species from the simple, deadly fact of this aspect of living in an increasingly unbalanced ecosphere.

One of the symptoms of impending disaster, the “breakdown of societal norms”, is the unfortunate evolution of the norm for a “family” in today’s world. The two-parent household is no longer the majority in today’s society; one parent households are just a common. And this simple fact means that, of the children growing up today, less than half will have an effective male, or female, role model in the home. Many children will not have either a mother or father figure available, or will have that role filled by grandparents or extended family, or by people outside the home such as teachers.

This phenomenon is not necessarily all bad; in my experience, even folks who aren’t terribly good at parenting are at least doing their best. But it does mean that society in the future will be different, very different, and can only contribute to the general overall confusion in society. Humanity has a very challenging era rushing upon it, and significant changes will need to be made, and survived.

My father, whom I honor every day, was part of what may be the last generation ever to have the majority of families with a traditional make-up. I hope the model that society evolves in coming years will create in children the same feelings of self-worth, confidence, and compassion for others that my father, and mother, were able to teach to me. If it is, then I believe there is hope for humanity. If not, then the time of critical danger is apporoaching all too fast……

”To be able to mimic the baby’s lips should know first how to make their voices heard,’’said the chairman of this research, David Lewkowicz from Florida Atlantic University. ”This includes an incredibly complex process.”  Even more amazing, they did not take long to learn. In recent months, these babies can absorb knowledge about lip movements and sound production.

When thir first birthday, the baby can respond by looking into the eyes of his parents, Except, if they heard an unusual sound, like a foreign language they had never heard before. ” This is really very exciting finding,” said the Professor Bob McMurray, University of Iowa. Then he added that the baby knows what they need to know and they are able to mobilize attention to things that are important in their development.

Rakhi Sharma and Awadhesh Kishore

Institute for Development of Technology for Rural Development, Mathura-281004 INDIA

Sarvoday Mahavidyalaya, Chaumuhan-281406, Mathura INDIA

Summary:

Based on these definitions, porn qualifies as a true addiction; a porn addict produces three important characteristics as a physical or psychological need for sexually explicit material. Some of the porn addict are consuming porn and resulting to face many troubles in the form of over dues on credit cards. They are losing sleep and neglecting responsibilities or loved ones. One who is to look at porn rather than other things that are not porn and at porn while at work, use a great deal of porn, call in sick to work so one can look at porn, apply for and take a job where one can look at porn is a requirement, hide and feel the need to hide porn habits from the friends and family, find reading porn at a funeral, read porn at the funeral of a man whom killed for his porn and pay for Internet porn.

Key words:

Addiction, Parenting, Pornography addiction, Pornography, Teen.

Introduction:

Pornography addiction is a highly disputed topic. Addiction means a physical or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, such as a drug or alcohol. In physical addiction, the body acclimatized to the substance(s) being used and gradually requires increased amounts to reproduce the effects originally produced by smaller doses.

Goodman, (1990) had explained his criteria for general addiction as a “process whereby a behavior, that can function both to produce pleasure and to provide escape from internal discomfort, is employed in a pattern characterized by failure to control the behavior (powerlessness) and continuation of the behavior despite significant negative consequences (unmanageability).”

The word pornography means sexually explicit pictures, writing, or other material whose primary purpose is to cause sexual arousal. Pornography addiction can be defined as a dependence upon pornography characterized by compulsive viewing, reading, and thinking about pornography and sexual topics to the damage of other areas of life. Pornography addiction is diagnosed when an individual engages in the overuse or abuse of pornography to the extent that they experience negative consequences (Wikipedia, 2012).

Based on these definitions, porn qualifies as a true addiction; a porn addict produces three important characteristics as a physical or psychological need for sexually explicit material. Desensitization to material that would have seemed extreme or offensive when they first began viewing pornography is observed. Finally, they need for more and more as they continue to get the same effect that they had when they first started.

Pornography as addictive:

Whether pornography is Addictive or not? A critical debate is ongoing on this subject. The effects of porn are being called to be “poisonous” on the brain and are more hazards compared to addiction of drugs. Prolonged exposure to pornography is a serious reason that is resulting stimulation of preference for delineation of group sex, sadomasochistic practices, and sexual contact with animals. Sex therapists are agreed that addicts are increasing day by day by using Internet because online pornography is far away just a click. Some of the porn addict are consuming porn and resulting to face many troubles in the form of over dues on credit cards. They are losing sleep and neglecting responsibilities or loved ones.

Why it is categorized as Addiction:

One behaves just like any other addicts. The criteria used to diagnose problems like pathological gambling and substance abuse can be applied to problematic porn use. Many people may be diagnosed themselves as porn addicts after reading (consuming) popular books on the subject. Like most of the drug addicts, a porn addict also says here is the stuff I would never look at, it’s so disgusting, I would never look at it, whatever that is. An addiction is the development of a tolerance to the addictive substance. In the way that drug addicts need increasingly larger doses to get high, similarly, porn addicts need to see more and more extreme material to feel the same level of excitement they first experienced.

Symptoms of Pornographic addiction:

A porn addict can be identified observing the change in his behaviour. These are Ten Steps for being Porn Addict and the milestones to analyzing whether one is being porn addict:

One who is to use a great deal of porn?

One who is to look at porn rather than other things that are not porn?

One who is to call in sick to work so one can look at porn?

One who is to look at porn while at work?

One who is to apply for and take a job where one can look at porn is a requirement?

One who is to hide porn habits from the friends and family?

One who is to feel the need to hide porn habit from friends and family?

One who is to find reading porn at a funeral?

One who is to read porn at the funeral of a man whom killed for his porn?

One who is to pay for Internet porn?

Why it is more hazardous than drug addiction:

Porn addiction merely describes certain people’s behavior as being addiction-like, but they can not be treated as addicts. Thus it is more hazardous compared to drug addiction.

At present mental health professionals have no standard criteria to diagnose porn addiction, so it is more hazardous in comparison to drug addiction.

Reasons of Pornography Addiction:

Four core beliefs are outlined common in most sexual addicts (Patrick, 2001). They usually result from growing up in a dysfunctional family, especially one with rigid rules, little warmth and affirmation, abandonment, and sexual or emotional abuse. The core beliefs include: I am basically a bad, unworthy person, no one would love me as I am, my needs are never going to be met if I have to depend upon others and sex is my most important need.

The root of sexual addiction generally begins during childhood. When a child’s exploration of sexuality goes away from discovery to routine self-comforting which may because of the lack of human care, there is potential for addiction. Sex becomes puzzled with comforting and nurturing. It can involve promiscuity, affairs, visiting massage parlors or prostitutes, and even viewing child pornography.

Managing teen’s addiction to pornography:

Teen is the age where a child is in the process of selection of the ways or to define is personality. In this process sometimes they are caught by the evils. A proper schedule of management of their care and counseling is vitally required avoid them from becoming a victim of evils. A teen can be escaped from being victimized from addiction to pornography following a proper management schedule. victim

Management of feeds:

Trying not to think about something can never really work. Eventually, A pornography addict gets to a point where thoughts would get so intense that he couldn’t handle the pressure any longer. In other words, he finds that the more he fed his porn addiction, the stronger it got.

Thirst Management:

No thirst can last forever. Any human feeling, including thirsts, cannot last forever. Human beings cannot sustain any emotion or feelings indefinitely, and eventually any feeling or thirst will decrease.

Management of Physiological Signs of a Strong thirst:

A pornography addict can reflect slow, deep, controlled breaths, and through that he can have a direct effect on his subconscious mind. This is a very powerful key to managing porn addiction.

Management of motives:

Motivate pornography addict to review his personal motivation statements, to remind himself of all the positive things that he can manage to bring into his life if he was not to act out.

Single management is not enough:

Any type of single way of managing addiction to pornography is enough. Multi-dimensional approaches of management viz. psychological, sociological, physiological, moral, aesthetic, spiritual, professional, intellectual, medical approaches are needful in managing a pornography addict.   A pornography addict should be committed to the following rules. He needs to manage 8 hours of sleep, healthy feeding (3 meals, and 2 snacks a day), drink plenty of water (minimum 8 glasses), journaling about his triggers, meditating, morning and evening prayer, avoiding dangerous situations (think acronym halt), hungry, angry, lonely and tired.

Counseling for better management:

Psychological approaches to manage a pornography addict are one of the most critical and crucial ways. Systematic counseling is effective to manage a pornography addict.

Environmental management:

This is a phenomenon of human beings that they are directly and effectively affect with that what is ongoing in their surrounding environment, A better parenting requires to manage such types of environment to cope his teen from pornography addiction.

References:

Goodman, A. 1990. Addiction: Definition And Implications. British Journal of Addiction, 85 (11): 1403-1408.

Wikipedia, 2012. Pornography addiction. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pornography_addiction.

Patrick, C. 2001. Out of the shadows: understanding sexual addiction, Hazelden: Center City, Minnesota. p. 167-68.

 (Bullying, image from Google Search)  

When bullying happened at school, what could parents do to help?

1. Speak to your kids

Many children do not like talking about the bully due to fear and shame. Parents must be attentive enough to detect unhappy emotion and bruises. If you suspect your kids are victims, speak to them to check things out. Talk about your own experience and invite kids to disclose theirs. Be patient in luring your children to talk without adding pressure to them.

Once kids talked, be a good listener. Listen carefully and remember the details. Ask questions for the unclear parts. Be gentle throughout. Your concern is a comfort to the victims. When mutual trust establishes, monitor and follow up will be easier.

2. Let kids cry out or release the anger.

Kids may be frustrated when talking about their nasty experience. Pat them on the back and let them cry out wholeheartedly. Some kids hate shedding tears and they may want to release the anger instead. Disapprove violence such as smash things. Bring your kids to the mountain, beach or countryside to yell heartily to release anger.

3. Reassure kids the bully is wrong.

Reassure your children the bully is wrong, even the nasty guy may be unknown to others and receive no punishment. Waver may lead the victims go to the wrong direction – join the bully to escape from being bullied. It is important to make sure the kids understand “success” of the bully is the ingredient of self-ruining. Use news to illustrate terrible things could happen when the bad nature was unchecked at young ages. Discuss the potential consequences to distract your kids from the present panic, help them stick to the good concepts and be sagacious.

4. Introduce changes to avoid the bully.

Guide the children to figure out the routine of the bully, such as where he often stays and whom he is feared of. Map out how to stay away from the bully. For example, keep a safe distance, avoid being alone and going to the same place at the same time if possible. If bullying happens outside, parents may need to arrange someone to escort kids to and back from school.

5. Encourage kids with successful stories.

The opportunity to be caught still exists, even your kids behave cautiously to avoid encounter. Always encourage your kids with some legends. Knowing other kids being bullied, but managed to survive as a good person with great life achievements can help people stay firm and get through the endurance. An example of such legends is Roald Dahl. Read his autobiography, Boy: Tales of Childhood to learn more.

6. Stay away from the bully.

Kids should learn how to stay away, even when they are facing the bully. In other words, do not take any provocative actions, neither be lofty nor too humble. Move on swiftly, but do not run to suggest timidity. If the bully strikes, try to defend and retreat simultaneously. It is a good idea to let kids take self-defense course to abate injuries. Sports like judo help people become nimbler. Do not engage in a counterattack because this will delay retreat and prolong bully. Don’t let the bully get hurt and file a complaint. With appropriate courage and reactions, kids can maintain their self-esteem without getting too much hurt. Hopefully the bully will understand there is no fun to mess up with your children and give over.

7. Report to school and request preventive actions.

If your kids continue to be the victim, report to school see if anything can be done to stop future bullying. Schools can introduce some preventive actions such as arranging teachers or staff to patrol the corridor, locker area and playground, and make it a school rule that punishment will be given to the bully.

8. Request close attention to your kids

In case your children are the only victim, school may not bother to take massive preventive actions. If so, request adults to keep a keen eye on your kids and intervene on time to check the fun and daring of the bully.

9. Demand the bully to be punished.

While reporting to school, parents should demand the bully to be punished. Punishments can be at several levels. For example, copy 1000 times “I promise not to bully anymore” for the first offense, arrange detention after school for the second offense and suspend classes for the third offense, etc. If the bully continues behaving badly, urge school to inform his parents and request them to devote full attention to guide the child back to the right track.

10. Change school.

The cruel reality is that kids often need to endure minor bullying. However, some schools and parents are poor in coping with or indifferent to the bully. Check with your children daily to monitor the situation. If the bully frequency climbs and each time heading to life threatening direction, patience and endurance are inadequate to cope with the potential threats. Change school before your kids have nervous breakdown or any misfortune happens.

Facing a bully is never easy and it takes great effort to endure. Parents should give full support to help their kids get over bullying and take this as an opportunity to grow stronger and tougher.

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Other children related articles you may be interested in reading:

How to Inculcate Good Money Concept to Children

The Monologue of a Spoiled Child