After spending a lovely Valentine’s Day with my husband I started to wonder what are the origins of the French kiss. I began my research as always using an internet search engine and I came up with very little in the way of useful information. I mostly found information on how to perform this act not on where it came from. So I dug a little deeper and discovered that it was not the French people who first performed this very intimate and sensual act nor did they name it.

This type of kiss was named after the French because of their open sensuality and their acceptance of overtly public displays of affection way back in the early nineteen twenties. For most of the rest of the modern world this type of behaviour was frowned upon in public and was meant only for the bedroom of a married couple.

It was the arrival home of the soldiers from World War I that brought this kiss to North America. After spending their rotations with European women many of the soldiers came home with a new way of kissing that involved not just the lips but the tongue as well. This kiss was deeply passionate and extremely intimate. Almost as if they were making love with this part of their bodies, how romantic!

So no one really knows who coined the term French kiss not that it really matters. This act of passion is overtly sensual and pleases most human beings. It is a delicate balance of touching that can be subtle or more actively stimulating depending on the desire of each person involved. Now isn’t love grand?

I will start with this story; there was a man working in an office building and he worked with about 20 other people.  He had been working on his job for about 10 years and he hadn’t been promoted in 4 years.  He asked his boss time and time again why he hadn’t been put in for any awards or promotions and his boss told him “You need to do a self evaluation and you may not be pleased with what you see.  The man didn’t know what that meant but he went back to his seat and thought about things he did over the past year.

The first thing he thought about was how he used to take notes of things and research things to be better at his job to stand out, he thought about how much stuff he had been through in his personal life and he noticed how he allowed past circumstances to dictate his future, he realized he stopped working out 4 days a week and started going straight home sitting on the couch watching Television shows full of drama and sadness, he also realized how he became a pesimist about everything and no one wanted to be around him.

Many people have the same kind of issues in their life and they can’t seem to figure out where things took a turn but you must sit down and do a self evaluation.  A lot of times people go on for years and years and never seem to be able to get back to being themselves after something tragic happens in their life and I’m living proof of that.  After losing my brother to suicide I was stuck asking myself the question what could have possibly been that bad but the reality is I’ll never know that.

People go through different types of things in life and some people look at pressure like it’s nothing and some people buckle under pressure.  I remained in the same mental state for about a year and I noticed one day while sitting at a table with a bunch of people that I wasn’t myself because I loved laughing and having fun but I was so serious about everything which wasn’t like me at all.  After sitting in listening to the conversation that was going on at the table I knew something was wrong with me.

The first thing I did was I went in search of a minister because I had a lot of stuff on my chest that I needed to get off and I knew I could talk to just anybody because they wouldn’t understand.  Once I reached out to a minister and they listened to me I was told to get the Purpose Driven life book and I started on my journey of getting back myself.  After understanding that I have no control over situations or even my own life I realized I had to stop stressing and worrying about things I couldn’t change.  The past is the past for a reason.

I learned I had to look forward to my future and stop looking back into the past because I was only hurting myself.  The question was asked to me “Do you drive a car in the forward motion while you are looking back?” The answer to that question was obviously no which I no one does that but I understood the point.  I began to look at my life in a different way because I had goals and dreams so I had to move forward.  I made up my mind I was going to focus on my future and leave the past behind.

After sticking to my plan great things started happening in my life like I performed on America’s Got Talent, I was promoted on my job, I was casted in a major film, I was invited on a number of television shows and I met my wife shortly after.  I believe if I would have let my pride get the best of me and I would have never sought help for my issues I would have never been able to do the great things I have done in my life.  I also believe that if anyone reading this has issues let’s the pride go you will be able to move forward into your future.

If you chose to live your life in denial you’ll only end up hurting yourself more and the people around you because a void still exists in your heart and no matter who you run to they won’t be able to help you if they don’t understand your situation.  We only live once so I think everyone should make the best of their lives now and enjoy everyday you have.

My final point is in order to have success in your life you must find out who you are first and work on being a better you.  Practice Good business principles and building solid relationships with positive people.  Negative people never make it far because they focus on the negative things too often.  Remember that negative energy goes in a circle but positive energy busts out of the circle and makes change.  Being a positive person makes people want to be around you never know they may want to come to you for help.

Philosophers since Plato have been asking that question…

Would you be “making love” in a one-night stand? Or for your 1st time with a woman?

Probably not. And that’s actually fine. Men (AND women) can be very satisfied by that kind of short-term encounter.

No judgments from  me!

If you’re in a relationship of any length, whether it’s 10 months or 10 years—the dynamic between you and your lover is going to change, it’s going to evolve and – hopefully – it’s going to grow.

But, unfortunately, that’s not always the case.

In fact, we all know that sometimes things just get stale.

The fact is, sex gets a LOT of juice from variety and from novelty.

But when you’ve really tapped into what we call “making love,” you GET something in exchange for novelty which, if you’re open to it, can keep things getting HOTTER for many years.

When you’re in the early phase of a relationship, and things are still fresh, new and exciting, the sexual dynamic is racy. It’s hot without any effort. Testosterone does all the work for you.

But that phase of natural intensity, the built-in excitement of it all still being so new– eventually fades from the scene. The newness and exploration that makes everything so hot early on… as much as I hate to say it… wears off sooner or later.

And usually sooner.

Have you heard about couples who still have crazy-hot sex even after being together for years?

Sound like a chick flick? A fairy tale?

Well I’ve spent my career hunting down couples like that and STUDYING them.

What if I told you that YOU could be in one of those couples?

I want to tell you about strategies for approaching your sex life that might be just a bit outside your field of vision.

As with most things that aren’t easy to come by, reaching a new level of advanced physical intimacy takes work.

If having a great sex life isn’t worth a bit of work to you, then this probably isn’t something you’re going to be interested in.

The strategies I want to share with you are more than just some simple “technique”… they are “a way of being” that triggers deep sexual response in your woman.

The first way of being is to be PRESENT – to be IN THE MOMENT.

When you think back to some of your greatest sexual memories, what do they all have in common?

Exactly: you were COMPLETELY in the moment.

How did it become so hard to stay in the moment during sex??

Well, gradually, that “newness” – and all the excitement that went with it – wore off.

Your mind started drifting…you started thinking about stuff you had to get done, and about work… And, god forbid, maybe even other women.

The sex in your relationship lost its luster…it became routine. Sex was no longer hot.

This is not only common, it’s typical.

When you let yourself get distracted, then you’re anything BUT present. Putting yourself back into the present moment is going to require some work, and some focus.

It takes commitment to focus on really being present- both for her AND for you.

It really helps to start by recognizing that there isn’t anything else in the world that you would be better off doing.

Love-making is an experience that should never be taken for granted on any level. Even when it’s not the greatest, it’s still far better than good.

How can you argue with that?

Another key to reclaiming the hot factor is to focus on every aspect of your connection with your lover: try concentrating on the feeling of each part of your body as it connects with hers:
Where your hands and your arms touch; where your legs and your feet touch; where your faces meet as they brush up against each other. And then there’s always the intercourse itself.

Oh yeah, that.

Focus on a particular physical connection, whether you’re kissing, or you’re caressing her butt, or she’s running her hands along your chest…

Pay attention to each gesture for as long as it feels right, and then pick another point of contact to focus on. You’ll be surprised at how effective this is.

Another difference in “making love” vs. just “having sex,” is your willingness to be VULNERABLE.

This is a very challenging concept for most men.

Throw away your preconceptions: being vulnerable doesn’t mean you’re being any less of a man, or that you’re being submissive, or that you’ll be relinquishing all control to her.

When I talk about being vulnerable, I’m talking about being open to expressing your pleasure. Sometimes this can mean telling her how beautiful she is…or how great the love-making feels…or how HOT she’s making you.

But it can also just be the sounds you make to let her know where you are: soft moans, or even just sighs of satisfaction. During sex, this is really what vulnerability is all about: showing how much you’re into it, on a verbal, or an sub-verbal level – is something that can be surprisingly easy for some, and far more difficult for others.

Some men will cringe at the idea of making noise during sex. If this is you, then this is something you’ll gradually want to experiment with.

Some men only know being in control, being powerful, being the master– and that may work sometimes, in some relationships, especially early on. But don’t let being in control come at the expense of showing emotion, or letting her know you’re into it.

One way or another, show her how much you’re into being with her, and how much she turns you on.

This is ultimately where you really want to be – and her response will let you know it.

The other “way of being” that I want to introduce you to is what I’ll call “selfishly giving,” or enjoying HER enjoyment.

Try putting your focus on YOUR pleasure from her pleasure.

Decide that the next time you make love, you’re going to make it all about the pleasure YOU take in touching HER.

Instead of anticipating her wishes and desires as you’re making love, or asking her what she wants… Instead soak up the pleasure that you get in making her feel turned on. Enjoy the feelings you get in your hands and body and TAKE pleasure from what you are doing.

Now here’s a nice little surprise: the more that you focus your intentions towards enjoying her, the more you’ll actually turn her on. You’ll gradually come to find yourself really getting off on her pleasure, and, more than likely, her own moans of satisfaction.

Love-making is all about your emotional approach, not about your moves. When you start to really connect with her, and make her feel powerfully desired as a sexual being, it’ll shock you how much hotter the sex gets.

When you’re making love, as opposed to just having sex, you actually put the HOT back into it in a whole new way.

You could even become one of those couples who look like they are on their honeymoon even after being together for many, many years.

So be present. Be willing to be vulnerable. And take pleasure from her pleasure.

Ebony Ebodarbla is 21 years old. For her, it is not love without an unusual, exciting, and daring experience. She would not mind if her sweetie needed to be completely sure before falling for her. It is  rather difficult for her to resist someone who is amusing and enjoyable. Her seduction method expresses strong emotions. Her ideal date is an exciting and romantic evening together.

Favel  Freflagolhai is 26 years old. She thinks that it is not love without starting out as friends first. She would not mind if her sweetie expected complete loyalty from her. It is  rather difficult for her to resist someone who is beautiful, smart, and elegant. Her seduction method is amusingly unconventional, and never exactly the same. Her ideal date is a a long walk to an isolated, particular place to have a picnic.

Bahjibaji Bahjoy is 24 years old. For her, it is not love without flirting. She would not mind if her sweetie always had to get the last word in.  It is  rather difficult for her to resist someone who is philosophical and independent. Her seduction method is a superb ability to be able to change readily to meet new circumstances. Her ideal date is an intense exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings in a small restaurant, eating light meals. 

Calca Calaussta is 23 years old. For her, it is not love without romance. She would not mind if her sweetie needed to be the center of attention. It is rather difficult  for her to resist someone who is friendly, pleasant, affable, and  fashionably elegant. Her seduction method is to be able to ask the right questions. Her ideal date is a long walk in a wonderful mountain landscape.

1.  Respect- Is he showing you respect?  Does he respect your privacy, trust you, give you your space and spend time with you?  Is he respectful towards your goals and dreams?  If he is not respecting your personal preferences (or if you’re not respecting his), it might be time for a serious conversation with him.

2.  Conversation- Does he talk to you (and do you talk back)?  You should be sharing at least parts of your day with one another, communicating about sex, about goals, about daily life.  If you are not communicating about these things, there is probably a pretty good reason.

3. Passion- Now, if he has seemed to lack passion from the start, that might just be the kind of person he is.  However, if passion has gone downhill between the two of you since you first got together, it may only be a short term fling.  Always expect passion and romance to decline a little, but if you feel like your boyfriend is essentially a roomate, it may be time to rethink your relationship.

4. How fast are you moving?- Ask your friends and family how fast they moved.  If you are moving too much faster or slower than they did, maybe there is a reason.  Think about this before you decide to move any further in your relationship.

Hopefully, these four tips give you an idea of what to look for in your relationship.  If any of these things seem to be amiss, it is atleast worth talking to your significant other about.

Make her blush at the sound of your name…

(some pointers for the less proficient guys out there)

1. Foreplay is your friend. Kiss, touch, breath on her neck. Make her feel like you want whatever is happening to last (and not just long enough to get her clothes off).

2. Let her be the director. Pay attention to how she is reacting to what you are doing. If she is falling into you, you’re on the right track. If you sense her pulling away…back off, slow down, and repeat step one, or just give up and go make a sandwich.

3. She needs to know that you care. Women are emotional beings…If you can connect with her heart, and mind, you probably can skip steps one and two…she’ll rip your pants off herself.

4. Learn how to be erotic. Eroticism is nothing like a tool you can rent in a hardware store.

5. Find HER spots. Nibble her ear, try the spot were her neck curves into her shoulder, put your hand in the small of her back….explore! Believe me, she wants you to explore

6. Use your hands. Use your hands A Lot! Rub, touch, maybe even scratch a little. Run your fingers into her hair. Don’t start yanking on it like you’re in a snuff film, but get a hand-full of that stuff!

7. Place both hands on her inner-thighs…give a little squeeze, then rub it out…all while kissing whatever she wants kissed.

8. Use rhythm….mostly HER rhythm. Get your bodies moving in the same rhythm in as many ways as you can. Think symphony, not base-line.

9. LOOK AT HER. Don’t be staring off thinking about the girl you saw at the gas station. You don’t necessarily need to be staring into her eyes the whole time, but keep your gaze on her the whole time, and when she opens her eyes to look into yours, don’t be a douche, and look away…look into her eyes with fire in yours.

10. Passion, passion, and more passion. Go at it like she is the last woman left on Planet….

11. The ultimate, most best orgasm anyone can have is ….

    Can I get a drum-roll please…

    SIMULTANEOUS!!!

This might be right, but it depends. It depends on which girl is to be talked about. Not all girls can be bought by money; of course not. Those girls who love money more than they love their own selves usually come from un-educated girls, low of economic conditions and lack of attitude and moral education. It has been happening since hundred years ago, in history time, famous pretty girls had destroyed the real love bound by marriage, in the name of money and reputation.

As you can see, those “loves” obtained with money are just fake. The girls pretend to love the guys who bought them, but for sure both sides –girls and boys- know exactly that the girls are just faking their loves to their rich guys. In the name of this fake love, girls will do everything that guys want, sex is one of them. Eventually, mostly it is the main reason of buying fake loves from girls.

These “no money, no honey” girls never care about the risks that they will face of doing such things. Like, for example, being pregnant under-married and contaminated by HIV-AIDS, the most dangerous and killer-disease in the world, furthermore there is still no medicine either that has been invented to cure it.

Usually this phenomenon happens in big cities. Married guys keep their paid girls, a.k.a. “second but illegal wife”, somewhere out of their houses. Without knowing anything, their wives always become victims of this crime. Yes, cheating on your wife is a crime, a crime of a marriage. Moreover, these innocent wives might also be contaminated by HIV-AIDS, just because the very bad attitude done by their husbands.

It is an irony, when people think that polygamy is a very bad thing while they keep doing such foolish thing, having “second but illegal wife”. This usually happens on desperate guys, but rich, bound by marriage. Boredom, unsatisfied, sex-disorder might be reasons of the bad attitude of buying other girls’ love. Lack of love from the real wife can also lead their husbands to do such thing. Especially, when the money comes from illegal things, e. g. corruption, husbands will easily think to “buy” other love somewhere out of their home.

Along the time, modernization and globalization have had great impact on women emancipation. Education can be obtained by any-body now, no more limitation about gender, man and woman can get same education, even engineering studies also filled with a lot of women now.

As impact, women can work and earn money by their own selves which leads to the independence of woman. Not mentioned that this independence of woman means that women do not need men at all. No, we are all human-beings; we live together and need each other. The independence of women at this case is just about earning money. Girls will choose their good guys, based on attitude, education, status in society, etc. Money will not be able to buy their love anymore. They have their own powers now, education.

Much or less, the development of this world could decrease the girls thought of “No Money No Honey”. Somehow, ironically and unfortunately urbanization and economic tension of the nation still lead many girls from through-out the country to legalize this very bad attitude. Selling their “love” to greedy-bad-rich-sex disordered guys.

What an irony …

Nowadays, all over the world each human being is eloquent on love, but what is love?

In this mortal world, all descriptions of love are relative. Almost all our relationships are nothing but charades emanating from identity crisis. True love, in contrast, is not associated with the finite sensations of identity at all. The day when human beings truly understand the inner essence of love, there will be universal flowering of goodness. Love is divine and selfless. It is the spiritual nectar of the universal mind.

True love can flower if there is no intention to win. When there is no intention to win, desire disappears and love blossoms. Love is the everlasting spiritual movement of the universal mind. It begins when nothing is expected in return. Only through an unconditional submission one can comprehend the true glory and infinite happiness of love.

Love is a not a concept to be learned. Most of the people cannot understand the inner essence of love because of their conditioned minds. A conditioned mind knows only to give respect, not to love. Therefore, it is impossible for the conditioned mind to fathom the true glory and the infinite happiness of love.

Only a person who loves the universe can love the individual, others who claim that they love the particular, neither do they love the particular nor the universe. This is the law Eternal.

In this material world, we love someone when they are a comfort to us, and we hate someone when they are not a solace to us. Nevertheless, there is nothing great in loving someone when they are a consolation. This is just an outcome of self-comfort, narcissism and hypocrisy. M. K. Gandhi says, “Love never claims, it ever gives, love ever suffers, never resents, and never revenges itself.”

Kahlil Gibran says, “You give yourself little when you give your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give.” Unconditional love cannot be an occasional act. It is an attitude, a dedication, a state of mind, and a disposition of benevolence, confidence and justice. Ancient spiritual declarations clearly assert that the true meaning of the word ‘Bhakti’ is nothing but an unconditional submission, the surrender. The day humanity realizes the the true root of Bhakti, the entire human race will be freed from all prejudice, aggression, frustration, loneliness and so on.

Bhakti begins where nothing is expected in return. In the state of Bhakti one cannot feel any expectation or desire. It is the most sacred, scientific and blissful state of unconditional love, where one goes beyond the particular space-time and merges with the creation of the eternal. In the state of Bhakti, the observer and observed becomes one. It is the highest state of spiritual oneness. It can happen with wife, husband, lover, child, friend or any given opposite. Bhakti itself is the true face of universal love. One can understand the true glory and infinite happiness of Bhakti only through unconditional submission. Gauthama Buddha says, “Neither prayers nor rituals make a man religious. The highest religion is the extinction of sinful desires”.

Note: My dear friend, sex is not love. Sex is the need of the body and the love is the need of life. When you truly realize the the art of love and sex ego disappears and in that ego-free state everything is bliss because only in the ego-free state identity crisis of the mind does not exist. If mind exist then all forms of cunningness will follow. So, first there is a need to kill the identity crisis of the mind to enjoy life as a whole.

Click here and check about the author Chandrakanth Natekar for more details