What should we do?

As peoples from various nations and cultures, we must abstain from hostilities, further fighting, and antagonisms.  We must focus on living harmonious lifestyles and be at peace with our neighbors.  We should keep the peace and make peace.

What does a state of tranquility mean?

It is the accomplishment of that particular condition when there is a cessation of violence and the experience by which, we encounter serenity.  We must embrace non-belligerency that is untroubled and find contentment with ourselves and others.

Why is peace consecrated?

Peace calls for reconciliation.  ”Peace be with you,” is a popular mantra.  Mohandas K. Gandhi was a man of peace.  In the foreword of the book, Gandhi An Autobiography, is his words, “I have nothing new to teach the world.  Truth and non-violence are as old as the hills.”

Peace is consecrated as opposed to profanity.  It could be found as the theme in most sacred books and ecclesiastical music.  It is dedicated to some purpose and its presence gives us comfort and a feeling that justice will be done in this world.  It is immune from violence and interference.  In the final analysis, it is divine, revered and sacrosanct.

What does peace generally mean?

It means the end of war and hostilities.  People will now experience the security of public safeguards, freedoms, and just laws.  There will be little or no mental, emotional, and psychological conflict.  Arguments are eventually settled and workable solutions take their place.

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Throughout the ages, civilizations have striven for peace.  In recent times, there is a push to resolve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, struggles over America and Europe’s debt crisis, the Arab spring, and worldwide environmental issues.

 In 1961, the Peace Corps was established to provide volunteers with the necessary teaching and construction skills to assist people in developing countries.  That with some NGOs, have achieved some modicum of success in the developing world on continents like Africa, Asia, and Latin America.

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There has been a lot of talk in the last decade about whether the current generation of young people are as “great” as the generation who fought valiantly in World War II.  What the Americorps experiment set out to learn was whether the current generation was as lazy and unpatriotic as was being said in the tabloids or if the current generation, given the chance, could themselves be the “greatest generation” for our times.

The results have been phenomenal.  Hundreds of thousands of young people have come forward to volunteer to serve their country and their fellow citizens through national service.  National service is a concept that at one time was a core value to all Americans.  At one time, children were taught that upon graduation from High School, every young person owed it to their country to serve at least two years of national service before starting family or their new careers.

What the Americorps experiment found out is that this value has not vanished from the American consciousness.  Thousands of young people have flooded to Americorps in such numbers that there is a waiting list to get the chance to be of service.  President Clinton’s vision to create an agency that would attempt to replicate the success of the Peace Corps of the sixties set a high standard for quality for Americorps to reach.  The Peace Corps has become a standard that we all look to of an agency devoted singularly to contributing to the well being of our fellow man around the world and tapping the energy and good will of youth to accomplish this high goal.  The stories of lives that have been changed of both those being helped and of volunteers to the Peace Corps are legionary.

What few know is that since 1961, 160,000 people have served in the Peace Corps.  By comparison, since its inception in 1996, more than 200,000 have served in Americorps in hundreds of different capacities.  Americorps has surpassed the model for a great example of national service and it has done so quietly, without fanfare and without the recognition that it deserves.

It is easy to recognize the good being done by a service based on the tapping the power of volunteerism in the nation’s youth.  We have seen some dramatic examples of how Americans will pour out their service, their hard work, their physical resources and even their money to help their fellow Americans in times of need.  Out of some of the most devastating events of our nation’s history such as the 911 attacks and the horror of Hurricane Katrina, we have witnessed some of the most touching moments of human compassion and social consciousness as neighbor reached out to neighbor to help those affected by terrible tragedy.

But it isn’t just the victims that are helped by services such as Americorps.  Maybe the ones more blessed are the volunteers.  They say that you get back far more than you give when you volunteer.  The testimonies of those who have given some of their time to national service are solid proof of that theory.  Young people in their late teens and early twenties are just beginning to define who they are and what they will become.  By having some months or a few years where their lives are dedicated to helping others will instill a long-term commitment to service, to thinking of others rather than themselves and to patriotism.

The patriotism that takes root in our young people form their time in national service is not just the flag waving, song singing kind we see on display on July 4th.  It is a patriotism that we saw in World War II in our soldiers and in our forefathers that gave all to make the country great.  If national service can instill that kind of patriotism in our youth, we have no worries that America will not continue to be great for many decades to come.

My husband and I became volunteers in our early fifties. Disillusioned with living the rat race and having realised the Australian dream of home ownership and a family, we decided to pack it all in and throw our hat into the ring for Australian Volunteers International. Our children thought we were fabulously adventurous and our friends commenced wondering about our sanity. many people asked us what we would do “if it didn’t work out”. Clearly we had a streak of madness and would surely be jeopardising our retirement and our professional lives. We just didn’t see it from this perspective. For us it was about throwing caution to the wind for the sake of an adventure and we were energised by the decision and

once made couldn’t wait for it all to happen.

We applied for a number of postings and a few weeks later we were both contacted and offered positions in 2 different countries – Oh dear! Now that would have been too big an adventure and so we had to make a decision which position and which country to accept. Vanuatu or Papua New Guinea? An idyllic Pacific island or a troubled country with many security concerns. The decision was an easy one in the end and I gave up my posting to a University in PNG in favour of my husband’s posting to a secondary school in Vanuatu.

Decisions have ramifications! There were aging parents to consider, children who although adult were still very much dependent on us for support and encouragement and friendships that had been forged over many years that are precious at any stage in life. There was a business to be wound up, resignation from a 35 year career, a house and a dog that needed care. Our financial position, although far from rocky, was certainly not so firm that we could throw all caution to the wind.

Ron’s Mum sadly passed away before we could deliver the news, which we believe she may have had some difficulty coping with. My Mum surprised us all by saying “Mad if you don’t do it! Go on off you go and have fun. Send me postcards and don’t forget to ring or email”. The children said they would follow us for holidays if they could and provided their blessing as well. We are in debt to them all for their generosity of spirit and the release they provided us to take this path. Our friends had a variety of reactions from “Oh, My God – you must be joking” to “I don’t get it – why would you want to do this at this stage in your life/careers!” to “Make sure you have an extra bed – we will be there to visit!”

AVI has a very professional process and we headed off to Melbourne for our Orientation and Induction program about 6 weeks before we were to step on the plane to Vanuatu, giving us plenty of time to back out and AVI some time to replace us, if need be. I have to say by this stage we were beginning to doubt our own sanity. On meeting the other volunteers who had signed up in the group being mobilized with us we once again took heart at the decision we had made. There were about 80 people being sent to all parts of the Pacific, Africa and the South East Asian region. Seven of these made our group to travel to Port Vila in Vanuatu. We formed a very tight and supportive friendship group in the months to come, but more about that later, perhaps in another article.

The following six weeks flew by and the date for leaving was looming large through all our preparations. One of the children, our third son, and his wife agreed to move into the house. We gifted our second car to our eldest son, loaned our new car to our daughter to support her to be able to continue her studies, gifted our second son with some furniture that was no longer needed and eventually closed down the house and the business. Our son who was moving into the house would not entertain the idea of moving the dog on so she stayed with them and they loved her and cared for her very well!

I think the magnitude of what we were doing only hit me when I was at the airport, ticket in hand, 2 suitcases to set up in a new country, a large grin on my face and tears in my eyes with all the children saying goodbye.  Finally I came to the conclusion that we may indeed be slightly insane – but also insanely happy and ready for the adventure. We strode onto that plane with confidence we didn’t really feel and a new group of friends for life.

This can be a very liberating step for anyone looking for a change of scenery and life! If you feel trapped and feel you cannot break certain [unwanted] habits, while this is a great remedy, it also an excellent way of giving back.

The chance to learn a new language.

Because the Peace Corps can only provide so much language training, much of the language acquisition will be your own responsibility. There are people who are capable of picking up a lot of the language in just six months and others who take the whole two years to start grasping concepts. The beauty of learning a new language is that you learn a lot of it through gestures and through gestures you become more communicative in general. You will fall in love with the new language because you will learn to express yourself better in fewer words then in sentences in your native language.

Experience a different culture and discover your strengths and weaknesses.

You will inevitably be integrated into the new culture, even if you are not aware. Sometimes it is good for the human spirit to experience other cultures, especially when you come from the most envied society in the world. Whether you want to or not your character will be tested in every way possible. For obvious cultural differences you will have to learn to adapt to the new lifestyle. What used to be acceptable in your culture may be completely out of line in the new one. Your morality and integrity will be at play every single day and through this you will find yourself.

Become globally aware.

Without a doubt, within the first three months you will be awakened to what is the reality of a great percentage of the world – poverty. Simple things such as clean drinking water will have such an impact on you that you will finally realize the privilege of living in North America. Through this new awareness you will learn to promote the importance of human services.

Gain a new set of skills.

It is certain that no matter what type of project you are assigned, you will acquire universal ethical and moral knowledge. Some aspects of human behavior are universal and because of this you will be able to read people better, therefore qualifying you for leadership roles in the workplace. It is essentially as if you were going away for your very own [hands on] Master’s degree.

There comes a time when it’s not good to cry over what you don’t have, and I am glad at least I know this far ahead what other obstacles I’m looking at. They aren’t pretty, either.

After being directed to the Peace Corps website for information on tailoring myself for Jordanian service, I started to realize I honestly don’t have the skill sets they are looking for. For instance, one component is working with kids in recreational and fitness programs. I don’t have that sort of experience or physical stamina yet, but I could tailor myself to meet that need. I’d have to look at university programs for Physical Education majors and piece it together with the other liberal arts classes I completed. I’d also have to look at programs or day seminars that deal with children’s’ issues in order to help me be effective.

One option I have been mulling over is becoming a certified personal trainer after I finish my own transformation. I don’t know how long that would take, but it would certainly add some weight to my resume in this area.

Jordan is on the edge of a health care crisis that mirrors what the United States is starting to undergo. When I was there back in 2004, it was not uncommon to see 50-kilo bags of sugar kept in the kitchen. I can remember using about 4 cups of sugar in a small teapot, which is a huge amount! I had to stop drinking tea and switch to water because the excessive sugar bothered my teeth. As you might guess based on their sweet tooth, they of course have a diabetic problem, and right behind it is heart disease. They are obese, too – a report came out stating Jordan’s the 38th fattest country in the world. Our exported dietary behaviors have been exported and are now shaping up to kill their population.

It doesn’t help that next door in Saudi Arabia, 60% of all the women are considered obese, and the religious police harass women who try and walk for exercise. It is considered shameful to get healthy, and some ultra-religious people are saying it will emancipate women and contribute to moral decline. The ultra-religious seem to be ignorant of a simple fact: you sit, you die. What good is a society plagued with preventable diseases? Where’s the obligation to take care of what God has given you – i.e., your body? Christians believe the body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and if it’s riddled with disease, what kind of home are you honoring God with? Isn’t there an obligation to live long enough to raise your children to adulthood? If you’re sick, you can’t raise anyone, much less yourself out of bed.

I wonder how the idea of exercise in Jordan will play out – if the ultra-conservatives will win, or if the secular portion of society will see the benefits and ignore the crazy assumptions girls seeing each other changing in locker rooms will turn them into lesbians. If the government is smart, they will realize the nonsense of such baseless arguments. They must realize with half the population being under the age of 30, if this generation does not learn to move and exercise, the health care costs of inactivity will bankrupt the country. Who will pay into the tax base if half the country’s elderly, and the other half are sick with preventable diseases? Even worse, how many of that 50% will be medically classified as unable to work? They’ve got a crisis that must be addressed – and soon!

Perhaps I’ll have to take some classes on nutrition and holistic medicine. I’m not talking about chanting a past life liver problem away while burning incense for the benefit of a misaligned charka, I’m thinking more down to earth with vitamins and other supplements. Anything that could help improve the dietary habits of those at risk should be welcomed with open arms, but that’s theory.

I’m wondering if I’ll have to take up some child psychology classes to make things look good, too. People are too big on stroking kids’ egos these days to make them feel great for having done absolutely nothing. A report that came out today said the kids in college have been tagged the “Me” generation and believe the world revolves around them. I think I need to tread lightly around this area or else I could end up in trouble, culturally speaking.

It’s a given I’ll have to learn to teach English as a foreign language and become certified in that area, too. At first I thought, “how hard can this be?” but I soon learned it’s not as easy as it would appear. I grew up having to learn the parts of speech and diagram sentences, and I was so glad when I got out of seventh grade because I knew I’d never have to do it again. Well, that’s one of the many lies I accidentally told myself along life’s little journey, and I do need to relearn all the stuff I’ve forgotten. Ouch!

Arabic lessons will also be in my future – if I can demonstrate a certain amount of proficiency, then chances are good I’ll be sent to Jordan. The other country in the region that’s a possibility is Morocco, but they speak more French than Arabic, which is mainly used as the language of the Qu’ran. I suspect in this day and age, it has been translated into a North African French dialect and is commonly read in their native tongue. It seems the only ones who read the Qu’ran in Arabic are the native Arabic speakers, and in the case of non-Arabic native speakers, Qu’ranic students and scholars.

I’m also seeing volunteering amongst the Arab populations in the area for a good reference. If you have some experience with blending into the population you want to serve, to me it seems like volunteering is a great way to learn first hand. Who knows if I’ll be accepted as my experience has been the Arab community in Dallas are quite closed to outsiders. This is strange considering when I was in Jordan, everyone was very friendly to me.

There are several directions I can go in to make myself more attractive to receive an invitation from Jordanian officials, and as the picture clears, I will know what I need to do. If you’re looking at the Peace Corps and you want to pick a specific country, make sure you tailor your skills to it before you start the process. If you turn down an invitation from another country, the Peace Corps will not extend to you a second invitation. You’ve got one chance – make it count!

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the appropriate site.

I signed in to the meeting and chatted with a nameless recruiter only to be known as “from Peace Corps to All Participants”, which instantly gave me a sense of great warmth and intimacy with the moderator. I soon realized after a moment or two I was the only one in this meeting, which was a bit unsettling at first, but I decided to make the most of the opportunity presented to me and started asking questions knowing I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of others.

The Deployment

One thing I looked everywhere on the Peace Corps website was about the deployment process, but it’s not there. It’s kind of important to know how long you have between the invitation and the actual deployment – you need to shut down your American lifestyle quickly. There are things like your bank account, your apartment lease, your car, and your household items that need to be quickly liquidated and settled.

So, how long do you have? Well, according to the recruiter, it’s about an eight week period, BUT there’s a catch: the invitation you accepted could be changed or filled by another PC volunteer in the meantime. This means you could have accepted and packed for Bolivia, and by the time you hit the plane, you could be sent to the Artic circle, which could stink if you’ve got shorts and need North Face gear. There’s no guarantees you’ll be sent to the country you accepted an invitation to by the end of the 8 week period, and keep in mind it might be sooner than 8 weeks. Nothing’s written in stone with the government.

The Invitation

You cannot request the country you want to serve in, but you can request the region. It doesn’t mean you will be stationed in that country, either. In order to get into the country of your choice, you need to develop the necessary skill sets before you apply. That still doesn’t mean you’re guaranteed to be in the country of your choice – it just increases your odds of a positive outcome when it comes to placements. Ok, so how do you figure out what skill sets you need for a specific country or region? Start here and read between the lines and then paste your future together the best you can.

One aspect I did manage to worm out of the recruiter was confirmation that the invitation does tell you what country is asking you to come. That’s important for a variety of reasons – you need to know where you’re going to be stationed, you need to know how to pack, and you need to learn the language (or start learning to).

Declining an Invitation

This is something crucial for me – I wanted to find out what happens when you turn down an invitation. Turns out you’re all but toast in the eyes of the Peace Corps. Here’s the exact wording from the meeting:

“If you are declining an invitation because you are holding out for a specific country, you will likely not get another invitation. If you have a reasonable cause for declining, medical or other, you may get another invitation. Peace Corps is looking for motivated and committed individuals to do a job in a community that needs their particular skill set.”

To me, this is pretty amazing on multiple levels. First, if you’re bold enough to request an area to serve, then you’re committed to meeting that community’s needs. If you’ve also made it through the “meat grinder” process the Peace Corps puts you through (all you have to do is read a few sites to see this is the norm, not the exception to the rule), you must be committed to serving or else you wouldn’t have put yourself through the hell in the first place.

Think about all the expensive tests not covered by health insurance, or if you’re lucky, 50% dental coverage – all that money you have to shell out to make sure you’re exceptionally healthy so you don’t cost the government, and when you turn down one invite, you are considered uncommitted and most likely, unreliable in their eyes!

Invitation Alternatives

I started to worry about the invitation situation a bit and then understood there might be a way around it. If God has taught me one thing, it’s “if you can’t go through the front door, go to the back and I’ll let you in.” If nothing’s impossible for God, then in theory there should be some flexibility with the Peace Corps, so I decided to use the back door approach.

“Assuming I take a posting that puts me in another country other than Jordan…if I re-enlist after the 27 months, will I have a better shot at being placed in the region, or are my odds the same as a new PCV?”

“If your skills are needed in the area that you preference, you may have a good chance of going there to begin with, however if they are not, sending you to Jordan would be less about the Peace Corps and more about your personal goals. Your chances remain the same, even if you are re-enlisting.”

It’s rather ironic that my goals should strictly be about the Peace Corps and have nothing personally to do with me. After all, I’m the one that has to sit there for 27 months of my life, I’m the one committed to the program, but I have to leave “me” at the door.

“I would not encourage you to focus on a country though, as this can be construed as you wanting to serve in Jordan, and not in Peace Corps.”

I understand, but at the same time, I don’t. It’s typical governmental double-speak. You don’t want someone who’s going to shoot off their mouth and create a mess in the community – there has to be some level of conformity for cultural and safety reasons. I don’t understand what’s the difference between serving in Jordan and serving in the Peace Corps – the commitment, the job, the service is all the same.

Roadblocks In My Future

If there’s anything that scares me most about the Peace Corps process, it’s the bankruptcy that’s hanging over my head. It’s important to know how that’s going to be viewed for a legal clearance. I hated to ask, but I knew I had to.

“If you are able to adequately cover your costs while serving in the Peace Corps, it should not be a problem. If you are trying to leave debt, financial, and legal obligations, behind, then you would not be able to successfully do so with the Peace Corps.”

The recruiter said the Peace Corps does not put any weight against a past financial history, but they do want to make sure your current situation is in order. This is good news for me – many who try to apply for governmental jobs are turned down if there’s a bankruptcy in their past. I can understand the motivation because they’re afraid the person in question could be easily compromised with a financial incentive. Then again, what’s the purpose of bribing a broke person who’s stationed out in a mud puddle – there’s no place to spend it!

The Proverbial Forgotten Questions

I had a couple of questions on my mind that I forgot to ask was about the readjustment salary of approximately $6,000 and re-enlistments. I wanted to know if you choose not to re-enlist at the end of your 27 month tour, if you use the readjustment salary to buy your own ticket home, or if you get to pocket the cash. I’ve read some conflicting information regarding it, and I still don’t know the answer.

The other question I had was if you re-enlist for a second tour of service, at the end of your 54 month period, do you receive $6,000 or $12,000, or do they tax your $6,000 and issue you the remaining amount while you’re still stationed?

Speaking of taxes and how you deal with it because you’re drawing a stipend, I did ask this through email awhile ago to another recruiter, and here is her answer:

“Peace Corps volunteers do not pay taxes to the host country because you are getting the “salary” from the US government. The IRS does not tax you on your stipend, however there is other monies that you will be taxed on. On our website it tells you that you will receive $6075 at the end of service. This is basically $225 for every month you serve. You will be taxed on this income. There is also “walk around money” for conferences and official visits to the Peace Corps office/other parts of the country. This amount will differ from country to country, but it was about $10/day in Romania. This is in addition to your stipend. Just taking into consideration Peace Corps service, your taxes will be very small. In fact you probably will not make more than $6000.”

Above it says the IRS does not tax you, but it doesn’t say you do not have to file your income tax report. Maybe the Peace Corps does this for you, or perhaps they send you the W2 in your email or to the nearest local PC office where you’re stationed. I guess this requires a follow up with more details to avoid a big mess later on down the road.

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the appropriate site.

I had been faithfully walking, and I had completed at least thirty miles on foot when the front of my ankle began to hurt. My feet were covered with blisters, so I decided it was time to take a day off from my usual five mile hikes. It didn’t bother me much sitting out one day, but then my foot was still quite tender, so I took a second day off. The third day was to be a problem of a different sort.

Lacing up my faithful leather friends, I hit the pavement only to be stopped a few minutes later with a strong “pop” in my left calf while crossing a busy street. I almost fell flat on my face, but managed to remain standing. Since I didn’t have any experience on this sort of thing, I assumed it was a muscle that snapped out of place for a moment because I could still walk, although gingerly. Hobbling back to the house, I put my foot up and relaxed it on a heating pad, figuring that would make the Charlie horse style pain go away.

I stayed off my feet as much as possible for the next three days, and then I wandered back outside. My feet got about 100 yards from my house when the muscle popped again, so once again I hobbled back home and to the safety of the heating pad. Sitting it out, I was becoming frustrated because I couldn’t exercise, and diet is only one component of a healthy lifestyle I’m trying to make a permanent habit. After a few more days, I again wandered outside, and sure enough, the muscle popped, but I was too frustrated to return to the house, so I made my way to the grocery store and then back.

Strangely, I had this sensation of the popping in that same leg about a year prior, but it acted like a Charlie horse and then went away in a day or two. I thought I might be able to gently walk it off a little, but with each step, it became clear what I had done was not something I could just “walk off”. Picking up the phone, I dialed Laurie, and asked her what she knew about this. She always seems to have some great advice, but this time around she didn’t have the answers that really fit my problem. So I called Fred and he thought it might be nothing more than a simple leg cramp that would work its way out after a few more days of rest.

The Internet is quite a source of information, albeit, not always accurate, but that’s why you read multiple pages on the same subject from different sites. Medicine doesn’t always agree with itself, so I’m not that worried when it comes to researching information on the Internet. Well, after doing some reading, I discovered a site that told me the difference between a strain and a sprain and it directly mentioned the “pop” I had heard and felt. I had strained or torn my calf muscle, and that’s not good news.

This affects everything I want to do because it could mean healing in the best case, in two weeks, or as much as three to four months! No cardiovascular exercising, limited stretching and strength training! I have to be very careful to avoid re-injury of the muscle, which I’ve already done a few times. At this point, I’m feeling a bit low because I’m already seeing my metabolism slowing down with no activity, but if I don’t care for the muscles now I’ll definitely be in greater trouble later.

I didn’t realize I needed to warm up for walking, and I wasn’t power walking. I did throw in the occasional 100-foot jog, but that only started to happen in the last two sessions of exercise. Whenever I’d get home, I was responsible and hydrated myself as well as crawled into a hot bath to heat up the sore muscles and soothe the blisters.

What I used to look forward to is now something out of reach at the moment, and I’m going to have to rethink how to do a workout without any stress on the calf muscles so as not to stress them. Currently, I’m waddling like a duck because I can’t roll on the ball of my foot while walking, and that’s placing an undue amount of stress on my lower back and hips. The only types of exercises I can do would be upper body strength training.

Like all obstacles, I’ll figure a way through this with God’s help and a bit of reading to find adaptive exercising I can perform. One thing I’ve learned from this lesson: start a good stretching program BEFORE you engage in a walking program! When my leg heals, I won’t race back to walking at all, but will work on a stretching program to create flexibility in the muscle so I won’t be sidelined again.

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the socyberty.com site.

quazen.com articles by this writer can be found here

socyberty.com articles can be located here

relijournal.com articles are here

picable.com photographic images are here

Parents instinctively had this desire to outlive their kids, which is something I can’t understand. They spent all of my childhood threatening to kill me for this dumb thing or that dumb incident. Why should it matter if they outlive me when they unselfishly scared the daylights and spirit out of me for all those years? My theory is they don’t want to outlive me as much as they want to pass on the bumper sticker curses: “live long enough to be a problem to your kids” and, “I’m spending my children’s inheritance”.

While I was growing up I had been exposed to my father’s promise: “when you turn 18, you’re OUT of this house!” Before I turned 19, I was indeed, out of the house and not off to college. It was too expensive for them, and my original dreams were crushed into fine powder. That’s ok – if they had come true, I wouldn’t be able to pack up my life and leave it. I can still remember when I told them I was moving out, and my dad threw a fit. “You’re not moving out! You’re not allowed to!”

Remembering how they didn’t take it well when I eventually moved out, I knew telling my parents wouldn’t exactly be easy, and I’ve been out of the house for 18 years.

The last time I went to the country I hope to be stationed in, she freaked! “Pin your passport and ticket in your underwear and always be ready to run!” She was terrified of me going to this place, and started recalling all these movies she had seen on TV, but neglected to understand where they had taken place wasn’t where I’d be located. Getting the answer to the question of life would be easier than getting her approval, but then again, she never approved of anything I’ve done in my life. She gave me life and an abundant sense of negativity.

I prayed, and then dialed the phone. After a short period of small talk, I came right to the point. “Mom, I wanted to talk to you about something I’m going to do, and I wanted to get your blessing on it.” I don’t like sugar coating things anymore to make it simple for her to swallow, and since this was going to be hard, there isn’t anything on God’s green earth that would help her to accept what was coming. “I’m working on joining the Peace Corps.”

At first she sounded happy and said that was a great idea and a perfect way for me to “see the world”, which is what everyone thinks. “Just don’t go to Columbia – it’s bad down there.” I hadn’t finished dropping the bomb on her yet. “Mom, I want to be stationed in a specific region of the world.” She got a bit quiet as I wound up the pitch. “I want to be stationed in Jordan …in the Middle East .” I began to explain it was for me, there was no man involved, and I wanted to be stationed there for all the right reasons. I’m not sure, but I think I heard crickets chirping in the shocked silence.

“Do you know there’s a war over there?!”

“Where?” I couldn’t resist saying this.

“In the Middle East !” she fumed.

“That’s Iraq , and Iraq is not the entire Middle East . There are other countries over there, you know.”

“Yeah, like Iran , and you’re going to get nuked to death!” she growled.

I did warn you she was a bastion of negativity, and only in the last year have I escaped the worst of it and have learned to be content no matter what state I’m in, as the Bible tells me to do.

“Mom, we all have to go sometime.” I could tell she wasn’t reassured by that observation, however, I wasn’t going to back down from the coming attempt to talk me out of it.

“I hear Costa Rica ’s nice.” Of course she did – she went there on a cruise a few years ago and knows full well what it’s like. I don’t want the jungles – I want the sand; I’ve never heard of anyone being attacked by leeches in the desert and that’s a plus in my book.

We spent the next half hour going around in circles until she realized I was serious as a heart attack about joining the Corps. Finally a reluctant, shaky phrase escaped her mouth: “You have to do what makes you happy, Sue.” I almost tapped the phone and said, “Who are you, and what have you done with my mom?!” She’s never given up or backed down from a fight with me in her life, and she’s thrown in the towel?

I’m sure she hopes I’ll give up on joining, and that would make her happy to know I won’t be flying the nest. She had a hard enough time with me moving from Boston to Dallas , and when I get an assignment overseas, I know it will crush her. She is taken care of though – there are five kids in the family, and she’s already named two as her executor and health care proxy, so I’m not leaving her alone and without any help. Both my parents are in good health, so I don’t fear something happening to them while I’m gone.

We have decisions to make that you can count on someone else not liking, but my mom’s right – you have to do what makes you happy. I don’t want to find at the end of my life I have a bucket full of regrets, and so few accomplished dreams. I have no husband or children to speak of; that gives me time to take care of others who are worse off than I am.

When you decide to tell your parents, don’t expect them to embrace the idea right off the bat. Any time you tell them you’re moving a little bit further away, be understanding to the fact you will break their hearts. Time may heal all wounds, but expecting a ticker tape parade after a bombshell like this isn’t going to happen. My advice is to ask for their blessing, and then let it fly. As time goes on, they will have to accept your choice, and you will have to find the strength to take your dream to the next level.

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the socyberty.com site.

quazen.com articles by this writer can be found here

socyberty.com articles can be located here

relijournal.com articles are here

picable.com photographic images are here

This time around, I have brought with me into battle the acute awareness of cholesterol and hidden salt traps. Most women know about water retention and the bloated feeling, but cholesterol isn’t something we normally “feel”. Now I know what the RDA of cholesterol is, I know I need to measure it. The lower my “bad” cholesterol, the shorter my journey becomes to the finish line.

Last diet around, I learned about the value of lemon in your water . It seems bitter or sour foods stimulate the liver to produce bile, and that helps to remove bad cholesterol and fats from your body. The process is a bit scientific, but worth reading up on. Water can also be dangerous if you’re not careful!

Two diets before, I brought in the knowledge of vitamins and essential fats that do a whole host of wonderful things for your body. They reduce inflammation (I discovered this with my carpal tunnel/overuse syndrome by accident), pick up your mood by feeding it “good” fats it needs, and naturally curbs your appetite. They also help lower triglycerides and bad cholesterol as well as lowering your blood pressure. They also help to prevent blood clots. There is a whole laundry list of positive effects omega-3 can do for our bodies.

There are diet fads I’ve decided they are worse off than they claim to be. For instance, if you’re to believe the information about red wine, well then there are some caveats you need to think about.

By now, every woman has heard of what’s called the “French diet”, which claims French women are not fat and nor do they get fat. That’s a lie and I bet it’s a creation of the wine manufacturers to boost sales figures. French women aren’t fat because they eat fresh, healthy foods, they do drink wine, but they also move! France has a good transportation system and many take advantage of it, plus if you’ve ever noticed, they have a lot of bicycles and they rollerblade in a special section of the city on Friday nights. They move, and that’s why they’re not fat. We jump in our cars, drive to Burger King, and we drink four ounces of wine and wonder why we’re not getting skinny!

Another major flaw in the win drinking solving all problems has to do with the amount of red wine a person actually must consume to gain the supposed benefits. Should your intake be high enough to match the effects on mice then you’re bound to suffer from cirrhosis of the liver. Not my idea of a good trade off!

I read (and followed) one diet that required you to drink one ounce of water per pound of body weight you carry. At the time, I was two hundred pounds, so that meant I needed to drink 200 ounces of water, amounting to over six liters of water per day. That advice turned out to be near fatal for me, and what I want to warn you about. I’d much rather have you learn from my dumb mistakes than make your own that could result in tragedy.

Reading this weekend an article from a doctor saying you can’t drink too much water pushed me into writing this article. I also emailed the site and informed him the advice he had given was wrong and dangerous and why it was bad.

"Can we get too much water?  Not easily; your body is naturally mostly water.  Your blood is mostly water.  Your food is mostly water.  Your bowels and kidneys require water for excretion of wastes.  Why, you were conceived in an aquatic environment.  Too little water is associated with kidney stones, urinary tract infections, febrile illness, dehydration, and worse.

So drink yourself slim."

This is the dumbest advice on the planet. We are all trained to think of water as our friend, and it is, but there is truth in the old axiom of, “you can get too much of a good thing”.

I was consuming six liters of water a day, trying to flush out as much fat as I could. I was eating, taking vitamins, and watching my fat and salt intake. One day, I felt physically weird, but I figured it was nothing more than the process of flushing fat and toxins out of your body. Every woman has been through this stage where you feel so lousy and sick you want to stop the diet just so you can feel better. Emotionally, you know you have to ride the detoxification wave until it’s finished, but most of us stop after a few weeks because we’re tired of being sick, tired, mentally foggy and generally lethargic. I kept drinking water, knowing I had to be near the end of the wave since it had been two weeks.

It was around 8 PM when the first signs of something seriously wrong set in. I felt dizzy, confused, and shaky. As the symptoms grew stronger, I got terrified; it was nothing like I had ever experienced before in my life. I had enough sense still left in me, so I got on the computer and started to search on my symptoms. I accidentally stumbled across a mention of something called “water drowning” and “ water overdose ”. These conditions perfectly outlined my symptoms and also stated it could be fatal if not treated. I didn’t know what to do because I had no insurance and I couldn’t pay for the bills, so I called the emergency room and confessed I didn’t have insurance and needed help. Their advice? “Sit back and ride it out – you’ll be fine.” I was glad I didn’t listen or else I probably would’ve died.

In a last ditch effort to avoid the emergency room and bills I knew I’d never be able to afford, I called a friend and told her what I had done. She started to walk me through the process and I’m convinced to this day, pulled my bacon from the fire.

By this time, I was becoming seriously confused and desperately struggling to keep focus. She told me to start eating salt. I didn’t have any salt in the house, but then remembered the salt packets from Wendy’s take out sitting in a drawer. With my hands shaking almost uncontrollably, I ripped open the packet and most spilled onto the floor, but there was enough in my hand to start licking. Laurie began to ask me what I had for food in the house, and as I told her, the room started spinning as the muscles began to violently contract in my legs and neck. I was eating spinach and salt, and trying hard to breathe. It felt like I was being strangled while having a heart attack, and it wasn’t until that moment that I realized how strong the will to live is so deeply embedded into who and what we are.

“Do you have Gatoraide in the house, Sue?!” I hate that stuff – it’s nasty as nasty can be, but my friend Fred and left two bottles in the house about a year and a half ago. I struggled with all I had in me to shake the contents and remove the cap. My tongue went stiff and my mouth went into “cotton mode”, and I was having difficulty swallowing. In the end, I was able to get down a teaspoon every five minutes. As I started coming back to my senses, I realized I had chicken in the house. “Eat it, Sue – your body needs the salt and protein. I don’t care how long it takes you to eat, keep at it until it’s all gone.”

I spent the next six hours fighting to stay awake, afraid I was going to relapse and die alone in my sleep. Eventually I stopped clutching my Bible and trusted in God to see me through to the next morning if it was His will for my life.

The next day I did wake up, but I had horrible all over body cramps. I called another friend of mine who has potassium problems and started to pick her brain about what happened to her when her potassium got too low. She described many of the same symptoms – the most recognizable one was not being able to keep my head up and nearly falling over onto the kitchen floor more times than I care to remember. So I went out later that day and bought some magnesium and potassium, but turns out it was almost a shock to my system and I developed a lot of the same symptoms from the night before. Unfortunately, I was in for another long night by trying to overcompensate.

Potassium, sodium, and magnesium…all had been seriously depleted with the advice of a diet guru who probably never stopped to think about the damaging recommendations he was giving out. Potassium controls the electrical impulses the brain sends to the muscle. Magnesium controls the ability of the muscles to contract and relax. Salt is a necessary evil that helps to control blood pressure and used in the muscles.

I have since set a rule for myself that seems to be working well on this diet. I suggest you find the largest cup you can (or buy one) that will contain no more than 40 ounces of water. Fill the cup up twice, and when you’re done, that’s it! Do not consume any more water. This will give you the recommended 64 ounces of water, and then a little bit more, but not enough to get your body into trouble. I’m also assuming you’re eating a sensible, balanced diet and your doctor has okayed you for it.

There are some diet plans out there that have said you should drink 100 ounces of water a day, but from experience, that’s not exactly easy to do – and I’m a water fiend! I’m not a doctor and your health is your own responsibility, but I’m conveying this information to you so you don’t end up making the same mistake I did. There are a lot of quacks out there dispensing advice, but I recommend you do two things:

1. Investigate the supplements you might want to take
2. Bring them to your physician and discuss your own ability to health issues that might prohibit you from taking them.

Also ask your physician if you can keep a bottle of Gatoraide in your house and consume it without screwing up your body. It contains a high bit of sugar that could be a problem for a diabetic. If that is the case, ask your provider for an acceptable alternative that won’t send your sugar soaring and your body into shock.

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the socyberty.com site.

quazen.com articles by this writer can be found here

socyberty.com articles can be located here

relijournal.com articles are here

picable.com photographic images are here

When I started changing my diet a few weeks ago, I didn’t get on the scale because at that point, I had no idea what God had in store for me. I was changing it because in all honesty, I was feeling little nagging chest pains. As much as you want to pretend they’ll go away, you know darned well they will not, so I had to start changing my diet. I have no clue what I weighed at that time, either.

After I got “the call”, I stepped on my scale that measures body fat as well as weight; it tipped at 195.5 and 47% body fat. I’m not proud of to reveal this, either. Nine days into the diet, I have lost five pounds and I’m exercising with steady walking of five miles a day. The best laid plans of men sometimes have plans of their own and I have this nasty habit of forgetting that aspect of life.

Three days ago, I started to feel a minor pain in my left shin and I thought I could walk it off. The pain came on after I tried jogging a little bit in an attempt to shave off a little bit of time on my 1.5 hour walk. We’re all told heat and ice will do wonders for the pain; I wrapped it up in an electric heating pad and sat the walk out. Wanting to speed the healing process, I had also been soaking the ankle water as hot as I could stand. Nothing has worked to my satisfaction, so I decided to make a short hobble to the grocery store and purchase an ace bandage and some food.

A few days back I decided to make another change in my diet – I wanted to consume more raw foods. I got a taste for celery, baby carrot sticks, and small tomatoes; I wanted more than the processed foods I was eating. What was on the menu before? I tried to make it healthy with my budget: ramen noodles, Starkist albacore tuna, and Campbell ’s “healthy request” tomato soup. Recently I had cut out the cheerios and corn flakes because they were too carbohydrate intesnsive and switched to old fashioned long cooking oats and brown sugar. Even now, I’ve pushed the brown sugar aside and substituted it for pure honey, which is less processed.

Wandering through the grocery store, I decided to implement some changes in my diet. I decided to pass on canned tuna and opt for Gorton’s salmon fillets since economically they had less salt and cost about the same per fillet. Most appliances are packed up and ready for a move, but I found a stainless steel steamer I forgot I had in the bottom of the kitchen gadgets drawer. This gave me a healthy way to cook the fish and steam a cup of vegetables at the same time. I do have a big food steamer, but for a few veggies and a fillet of fish, it’s impractical.

I also gave up on the ramen noodles and Campbell ’s tomato soup for whatever reason; it was more of a taste buds and salt issue. One day I happened to notice I had figured the salt content wrong in both products. Ramen noodles had a whopping 1520 mg of sodium, so I started to think about how I could cut the salt down. There were insulated paper coffee cups in my cabinet with the two holes in the lid, which became what I thought was a good option: I used half the seasoning packet, cooked it to tenderness, and then put the lid on and used the hole to drain away the excess salt and fat. If anything, it was no longer swimming in salt. The Campbell ’s soup I also made a mistake by reading there was only 470 mg of sodium, but not noticing each can contained 2.5 servings, not two. The sodium went from 470 mg to 588 mg per 12-ounce cup, which is a lot of salt.

I made another mistake a few days ago that cost me some ground: Starkist albacore tuna has 250 mg of salt per serving, and I was ok with that before I realized I didn’t add the salt correctly. The can of tuna contains 2.5 servings, and the can normally contains 4 ounces of tuna and 2 ounces of vegetable broth, so they call it 6 ounces. Most people wouldn’t look at a 4-ounce can of tuna and think to be within the recommended portion, it would mean (2) 1.5-ounce portions and (1) 1 ounce portion. Most diets recommend at least 2 ounces of chicken or four ounces of fish (four times a day in a mini meal format) to be within an acceptable protein range that won’t set you up to fail from starvation. If you do the math correctly, a can of tuna which seems like it would be a healthy alternative, has 625 mg of salt – that’s almost as much as the ramen soup with only half the packet, and breezes past the “healthy request” tomato soup.

Sitting around and recovering from my walk/jog a few days ago, I happened to be watching the local PBS station. They had a diet guru on TV and I hadn’t thought too much about what I was watching because I was tired, but he said something that made me stop and think: “Are you getting high empty calories from any processed food you’re eating? Cut them out and replace them with raw foods and you’ll get more bang for your buck.” I’ve heard this many times, but this time I remembered something I had forgotten: it’s hard to overeat on carrots and celery because you feel full too fast.

I’d been thinking about the ramen noodles for a few days because I didn’t like the fact I was consuming 380 calories on this meal. I had mentally budgeted myself to be somewhere in the range of 800 to 1000 calories per day, and if I stuck to the low end of 800, nearly half of my “calorie budget” was spent on this meal. I didn’t like that thought at all because it meant I would be starving later on or exceeding the calories, so I wanted to replace it and use the ramen noodles as an occasional option.

All those thoughts received not a gentle wake up call, but a plowing over like a train. Going back to the grocery store, I happened to be looking for a nutrient in the vitamin aisle, which they didn’t have. As I searched the shelves, I saw a little old man sit down near me and the sounds of clicking and an electrical motor being used. I hadn’t noticed it before, but there was a free blood pressure machine and I decided I should at least have some idea where I was on the scale.

I figured my blood pressure was going to be a little high since I hadn’t been taking care of myself prior to this point. Sitting down, I forced my sleeve up and slid my arm down into the mechanical cuff. The last time I had checked my blood pressure was a few years ago, and I remember the systolic number was 93, which wasn’t that great, but it wasn’t classified as high blood pressure (according to the doctor who wrote me up, I had high blood pressure over “90”). Quietly waiting as the machine did its thing, I noticed the “high blood pressure” chart on the label in front of me was at 140 on the systolic, and that’s as high as the chart went. The cuff hissed as it released and then the moment of truth flashed on the screen: systolic was 152 and diastolic read out at 101.

How high my pressure was, I didn’t know, but I’d never seen my pressure that high before. Was I five minutes away from a stroke and a heart attack since I passed the highest marker on the machine, and did it automatically dial 911 with a pressure like mine? One can’t help but be full of questions, and even if the machine wasn’t 100% accurate, I knew even if it was off by 10%, my readings were still too high.

Walking through the door, I called my friend Laurie and asked for her advice. I thought I was doing the right things with vitamins, diet, and exercise, but now I wasn’t sure. She has been out of the cardiology field for a while, and although she said I was doing the right things, it might be a temporary spike in blood pressure that sometimes happens with the start of an exercise program. This was something I hadn’t heard before, but it was nice to know it might be a partial contributor.

Once I hung up the phone, I sat down and started to pen a quick email to another friend, elaborating on my dieting mistakes with the sodium monster that I thought I had in check. It wasn’t until I started to think about my current diet during this email that I decided to find out what the daily recommendation for sodium intake was, and it turned out to be 2400 mg a day, but they were actually recommending 2000 mg for most people. I started to add up my mistakes and realized even with cutting out half the salt in the ramen noodles, I was still registering 2600 mg of salt. This is when it hit home I wasn’t as diet and salt savvy as I believed I was.

This realization scared me enough to change a few more behaviors. I went into the kitchen and started stripping it bare of salty foods. All unopened food went into plastic grocery sacks with the full intention of giving it to a friend’s kids who could “afford” to burn off the high salt by simply breathing. In the end, I filled up eleven sacks. Where did I find the salt?

• Salad dressings, pickles, mustard, seasonings, packaged seasonings (taco, chili, stews), marinades, barbeque sauce, hot sauce, hot dog relish, mayonnaise, gravies, dip mixes, bullion cubes, shaker style seasonings, bread crumb mixes
• Hush puppies and corn bread mixes
• Cocoa mixes
• Canned beans, canned chili, canned diced tomatoes, canned tomato sauce (the last two had on the label front “no salt added”).
• Packaged microwave rice, boxed and bagged rice mixes
• Cake mixes, cake frostings, peanut butter cookie mixes
• Soups, canned tuna, oriental noodles, biscuit mixes

This isn’t a complete list of what I bagged up, but it’s enough to get you thinking about what’s inside your cabinets and where the salt is lurking. In the case of one of the salad dressings, for example, one tablespoon had a whopping 600 mg of sodium. The easy mac and cheese microwavable bowls that gives you a small snack size has over 660 mg of salt – that’s a huge amount for a kid or adult to ingest! The microwavable rice weighed in at almost 1000 mg for a half a cup serving size. Also watch soft drinks, which often are loaded with salt and sugar.

The other good thing about cleaning out the cabinets and refrigerator is that I know there will be no unacceptable foods entering my mouth and nothing to sabotage the diet. Not having a vehicle means I have to walk to the store a couple of times a week, and it means I don’t run out for fast food or sweet snacks on a whim. I think about not only about the food I’m choosing, but the amount of space in the backpack as well as the weight I’ll have to carry home.

I may not have been able to control my dieting before, but now I have no choice but to do the right things and eat properly. It’s certainly not practical or even an option for a family with kids, but at least watching what actually comes into your house is achievable.

Here’s one tip that can help in ridding your food of salt: place the food in a bowl of water and rinse it a few times, then let it set for a half an hour. Salt “holds” water in the body, and since it’s naturally drawn to water, it’s drawn out of the food.

Of course this won’t work for soups, but I find with packaged veggies that have added salt, and even fish fillets, it works pretty well. I also give it a hand by steaming the fish and veggies, knowing the dripping water will carry away some measure of sodium. If you choose canned tuna, you can try and rinse the excess salt out, but I will warn you the flavor is a bit “lacking” after this. I’ve tried the lower sodium options, and they were awful in my opinion, but they might taste great to you.

If you don’t like trying to find all the segments of this series, you can locate the links to them here and they will return you the exact spot on the socyberty.com site.

quazen.com articles by this writer can be found here

socyberty.com articles can be located here

relijournal.com articles are here

picable.com photographic images are here