People ask me why I don’t hate. Why don’t I hate my abuser. I really dislike them of course I do.

I realized I have allot of anger but it isn’t directed at the person, but at the behavior. What they did to me. I hate how they treated me.

That is why I stay away from them. I don’t like the drama and lies. The backstabbing and deceit. The falseness and superficial relationship.

I like honesty and keeping it real. I like to smile and laugh. I had enough crying in my lifetime. In my childhood and in the military. Enough is enough.

So as a adult I can control my life, I can control my environment and what type of behavior I allow in my life. That means the type of people I develop a relationship with. I can’t be a fake friend. I am to real for that.

I keep bad behavior out of my house and life. We control our world. Don’t let other people’s bad behavior interfere in your world no matter what the relationship is. Relatives, co-workers, siblings, neighbors…..if their behavior isn’t good for you, irritates you or your home darn it control your world…….

Stop it at your door….You don’t have to allow the behavior in your world…..It is YOUR world!!!!

How I don’t hate the person but the behavior? I know many donn’t understand that. But think about it.

How does a person forgive? How do they allow a person back into their life? They forgive the behavior, the act the person committed. Because the person is still the same. You can hope they change, you can hope they won’t do whatever it was they did again. But you didn’t forgive based on character. You either decided it was good for you to forgive the act or they asked for forgiveness. That doesn’t mean “THEY” changed.

It is the same concept as fear. It is the ACTION..Not the person…….Not the place…It is what was done or is done…..

Reality of Fear:

You arent scared of the dark, you are scared of what is in it.

You arent afraid of heights, you are afraid of falling.

You arent afraid of the people around you, you are afraid of refection or distrustful.

You arent afraid of love, you are afraid of not being loved back.

You arent afraid to let go, you are afraid to admit they are gone.

You arent afraid of getting hurt again, you are afraid of getting hurt again for the same reasons.

It is funny how we can turn things around in our head. For those that have been hurt, it isn’t love they should be scared of ….It is the TYPE of people that hurt you. For those that have are distrustful, learn to set boundaries….then you wont be afraid of those around you For those that don’t know what is in the dark, take a light..don’t put yourself in places or positions where you know you are going to be uncomfortable.

For those afraid of not being loved back, dont give your all to someone who treats you as a option. Never love someone more than yourself. So instead of generalizing your fears, narrow them down alittle. Then you can tackle them head on a little at a time…step by step…..

You see you set boundaries….You can love…You just insure you are also being respected. You insure it is 100%/100%…… Reality of fear is everything is not what it seems at first…. Baby steps…….narrow it down and take small steps……and you will find facing your fears isn’t that hard after all.

If you think you are afraid of water is that true or is a fear of drowning? Don’t BLAME the water…It is YOUR fear of drowning…

There are many factors involved in BLAMING, finding reasons, fault or any excuse to validate feelings……Always look at the facts…THINK not feel about the situation and you will react differently. Because if you were truly afraid of water…you wouldn’t bathe…

So always look at your “FEAR” and see what it is you are really afraid of.

Makes it alittle easier to deal with… SO look at your fear and place the blame where it belongs…..The action, the behavior…Then you can do something about it

One step at a time ♥

Eremiophobia: fear of being alone

Androphobia: fear of men

Gynophobia: fear of women

Unavoidable Fears

Gerontophobia: fear of old age

Thanatophobia/Necrophobia: fear of death

Nyctophobia: fear of the dark or night

Heliophobia: fear of sunlight

Hydrophobia: fear of water

Animal Fears

Ailurophobia: fear of cats

Cynophobia: fear of dogs

Hippophobia: fear of horses

Musophobia: fear of mice

Ophidiophobia: fear of snakes

Arachneophobia: fear of spiders

Other Fears

Claustrophobia: fear of enclosed spaces

Pharmacophobia: fear of medicine

Chrematophobia: fear of money

Alophobia: fear of pain

Triskaidekaphobia: fear of the #13

Phasmophobia: fear of ghosts

Taphephobia: fear of being buried alive

Gephyropobia: fear of bridges

There are obviously many, many more irrational fears. Did I miss your fear? What is it? I would love to hear more in the comments field!

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A phobia is defined as an extreme or irrational fear of or aversion to something. Let’s face it – we’re all afraid of something. Most people will admit having a common ‘phobia’, such as arachnophobia (fear of spiders), or claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces). However, other people suffer from a crippling fear of things the majority of us would consider completely harmless. Things like:

1. Arachibutyrophobia – the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth. Think about every peanut butter and jelly sandwich you’ve ever eaten. The peanut butter always sticks to the roof of your mouth. It’s annoying, but that’s just life. Now imagine having a full-blown panic attack everytime this happens. It must be awful. On the bright side, there seems to be a simple cure for this disorder. Stay out of the Jiff jar. 

2. Aulophobia – the fear of flutes. I couldn’t find a lot of information on this one, but it seems simple enough. There are people who are afraid of the woodwind musical instrument played by pre-teen girls in school bands around the world.

3. Consecotaleophobia – the fear of chopsticks. I’m ashamed to say that I couldn’t use a pair of chopsticks if my life depended on it. Coordination has never been my strong point, and I’ve just never gotten the hang of it. After having dropped many pieces of sesame chicken on my lap, I decided to give up and use a fork. No big deal. Maybe the people dealing with this phobia should do the same.

4. Geniophobia – the fear of chins. As strange as this phobia seems, I can almost understand it. Some chins are kind of freaky looking. The world is full of big chins, small chins, butt chins, double chins, and Jay Leno. I don’t like looking at all of them either. Do I break out in a cold sweat every time I watch The Tonight Show? No, but I can’t fault other people for being afraid of that thing.

5. Phobophobia – the fear of phobias. I think this one speaks for itself.

Patients, especially in small spaces, elevators, indoor environment through the crowd and all kinds of experiences similar to this fear. In fact, some people high-speed trains claustrophobic as amusement parks, also a serious fear of trains may use seat belts.

Reasons claustrophobia claustrophobic, very severely on a person’s life. The individual will remain closed to enter the field, going to parties or even required to wear safety belts, even refrain from recreational activities. Many patients, especially during the test claustrophobic MRI is emerging. Person escapes violently these tests, which can create problems that can affect health. Causes of claustrophobia is not known exactly, usually based on the idea that childhood memories are bad. Some experts fear the closed space is a part of the advocates of evolutionary survival mechanism.

Fear Stay off the floor, off the flattened areas of the law an individual’s intense fear of female logic. typically the beginning of the ’30s. is seen more in women than in men.

 First, I think I should define what lucid dreaming is for anyone who doesn’t know. Lucid dreaming is where you become lucid or aware that you are in a dream. There are varying degrees of lucidity and varying degrees of control that people have been able to obtain over their dream worlds. Some people are able to control everything in their dreams while others continue to just get non-lucid or only semi-lucid dreams where they have little to no control over what happens.

Second I will go other the negative impacts lucid dreaming could have on your life. Actually, not many, unless you consider disappointment at not immediately succeeding or losing a little sleep a terrible loss. The loss of sleep is really the only downside to attempting to lucid dream and this is only if you use a couple of the many different techniques for inducing a lucid dream. Time is also absolutely necessary for lucid dreaming because most people need to practice at their dream recall which I found is quite easy if you just start keeping a dream journal. I went from remembering maybe one or two dreams per week to at least one per day. What’s the point of having a great lucid dream if you won’t be able to remember it very well.

Thirdly, would you like to try to fly, have another couple of hours to just think and solve problems in the environment of your own choosing or be able to do just about anything you can think of? Then lucid dreaming might be for you. Lucid dreaming can also be used to help you deal with nightmares by letting you confront your fears in a safe environment that you control. Other people have used lucid dreaming to revisit and talk to dead loved ones again. People struggling to lose weight have also used lucid dreaming to help them curb their cravings by “splurging” in their dreams. If you have any questions you can comment on this site or visithttp://www.dreamviews.com/forum.php and search around for a little bit. They helped me out a lot and my guess is they could help you too, if you are interested in this topic. They even have a specific section of their forums devoted to people new to lucid dreaming and have an adoption program for someone to ask someone else who is more experienced in lucid dreams to mentor them and coach them so they can become better at lucid dreaming and harnessing the power of your dreams.

Image via Wikipedia

Fear of Spiders: Commonly referred to as Arachnophobia. People seem to be very afraid of these eight legged freaks, and they have a reason to be. Just look at the picture and you will realize why.

Image by zteamie via Flickr

Fear of Heights: Commonly referred to as Acrophobia. Heights are scary, most of us can admit that we would rather be down here than up 40 feet in the air.

Image by DieselDemon via Flickr

Fear of Rejection: Nobody wants to be rejected from a girl or a guy. This can cause major problems in ones social life, as they may not have the balls to go up to a certain someone and tell them that they like him or her. This fear is extremely hard to get over and it is common all over the world.

Fear of Rejection: Nobody wants to be rejected from a girl or a guy. This can cause major problems in ones social life, as they may not have the balls to go up to a certain someone and tell them that they like him or her. This fear is extremely hard to get over and it is common all over the world.

Fear of Needles: Well nobody like sharp pointy things that are meant to go into your body, but come on guys needles barely hurt, and they are for a good cause!

You have probably heard that said more than once.  That the statement is true, is beside the point that the philosophy behind the statement is absurdly true.  One need only watch any network news program to experience first hand the truth of this.  The media “darlings” (or anchors {as they are referred to by many})find it necessary, almost incessantly, to label with a particularly broad brush, any malcontent that has that audacity to question any policy they favor. 

For instance, the proposed edifice in NYC that would symbolize a victory for Jihad, that has become a political football( what hasn’t, also thanks to the “Darlings”) of late.  You find each and every News commentator( there are no longer any “Newscasters left as they all voice their opinions quite readily ) labeling ANY who speak out against the thing as ISLAMAPHOBES ( how do they get away with making up words out of thin air and expecting EVERYONE to accept them into a grand lexicon of some sort).  Now really!! As if anyone should FEAR  a religious superstition of any kind!

The major controversy regarding SAME-SEX Marriage is becoming a bloodbath of blather.  The Constitution gives everyone the inalienable right to make their own choices.  any choice they want; right or wrong choices not withstanding.  The government has no business, with ever growing nose, in the affairs of private citizens.  That they have barged in with legislation and laws tell any observer that the whole proposition of same sex “marriage” is wrong of they would not have to pass legislation providing for it.  That having been stated, the MEDIA once again has to loose their little “darlings” on the public with their make-’em-as-you-go labels.  This one being HOMOPHOBIC. Why anyone would be afraid of a homosexual is beyond logic, but the labels are applied. 

The free media ( that is ,of course a misstatement as nothing is free{ they are supported by sponsors who have very little else to do with their money except buy elected officials} and we all know that) has to be politically correct when they apply these labels so they employ their euphemism for fear, instead of the actual word that can’t be used in civilizedcompany .  That word is DISGUST!  the vast majority of this population is disgusted with minority malcontents that are never satisfied with being left to live their lives in peace and harmony.  No, they have to make their perversions acceptable to even the least of humanity so that we can all revel in their self pity and victim status, and satisfy their craving to be NORMAL.  I am absolutely mystified that the Binge Religionists  haven’t gone berserkand demanded that myopic shrines be built to whatever thing they worship, or the other fringe sexual fetishist require the rest of us to recognize, accept and justify their little enclaves to make themselves feel better and thus self full-filled

The vast majority of citizens had best WAKE UP to the fact that these fringe groups and minority organizations are not just attempting to carve out a little piece of paradise for themselves to exist, they intend to overrule your right by making their right trump.  It was said that there is one infallible way to conciliate a tiger…. and that is to allow oneself to be devoured! If you continue to sleep through the current political uprisings of minorities You’ll feel the next bites in vital organs, as the first bites have already been taken.

cuzinmikie   

The Great Flood killed 24 people, destroyed more than 2 million acres of land in Kansas and caused $760 million in damage on July 13, 1951.

The “Good Friday” earthquake wasn’t actually so good. It remains the largest earthquake in North American history, killing 131 people near Prince William Sound on March 13, 1964.

An F4 tornado ripped through Edmonton, Alberta, killing 27 people and injuring at least 300 on July 13, 1987.

An earthquake killed nearly 2,000 people and left 50,000 homeless in Turkey on March 13, 1992.

Tupac Shakur was shot and killed in Las Vegas on a Friday the 13th.

Al Capone was sentenced to prison on a Friday the 13th.                                                                           

Hubert Humphrey, 38th president of the United States, died on a Friday the 13th.

Traditionally, in a hangman’s noose there are 13 twists of the rope and 13 steps to the gallows.

Most buildings don’t count their 13th floors. Typically on elevators, the numbers go from 12 (skipping 13) to 14.

There isn’t a 13th Avenue in San Francisco, instead Funston Avenue is between 12th and 14th Avenue.

In Formula One Racing, there are no cars with the number 13. The number was removed after two drivers were killed in crashes, both driving cars numbered 13.

Many airports skip the 13th gate and the 13th aisle on planes.

Hospitals and hotels regularly have no room numbered 13.

Italy omit the number 13 from their national lottery.

As superstitious as I am and can be, I find a lot of this odd, especially the buildings and airports eliminating the numbers. It’s not like it makes the 13 non-existent, it in fact, makes the number 14 the number 13. So I don’t get it. I have (knock on wood) never had a bad day on Friday the 13th but actually had better than usual days and have kind of considered it to be my lucky day, again, knock on wood.

Don’t ever be ashamed of your fear. Don’t think that you’re the only one with fears. You would be surprised when you hear of some phobias[that's just a fancy word for fear] that some people[even celebrities] have. You’d think your fears were peanuts compared to them. For example, Pamela Anderson was afraid of…wait for it…Mirrors!! Nicole Kidman was afraid of butterflies. Orlando Bloom is afraid of pigs. Matthew McConaughey is scared of tunnels and revolving doors. And, most conquerors and monarchs, like Roman Emperor Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, French General Napoleon Bonaparte, King Henry III of France and Italian Dictator Benito Mussolini suffered from fear of cats. And, before you ask, no, all queens did not have fear of dogs. But, getting on, you see, everybody has fears, it’s nothing to be ashamed of[*sigh* you'll still gonna be giving lame excuses,aren't you?]. But, you should be ashamed, when you let fear control your life, when you are restrained by fear from making choices wisely and freely. When you are enslaved to someone because of fear. As Albert Camus once said,”Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.”

Moving on, so you came here probably because you have some fear you are ashamed of[you didn't read the first paragraph,did you], and you want to get rid of it and are probably saying, “For God’s sake! won’t you hurry on!” if you have temper issues or are impatient. Well, before I start, I would like to tell you something: Fear cannot be completely ridden off, you can only hope to “control” it. With some help, maybe you can get rid of fears like fear of height,etc, but you’ve got to understand that some fears are ESSENTIAL for life. For example, fear of…say, flames…is necessary[ unless you're one of those circus artists who eat fire], otherwise you would be eating burnt toast with a burnt hand[ if you can eat at all, that is]. You only want to get rid of fears… that ,well, involve highly improbable situations and obstruct your life. For example: fear of drowning, which you may have due to some past incident. So if you wanted a solution to get rid of your fear of failing exams, well then, good luck with that, this is not the right site for you. Some of the common fears that some people have include:

1.Fear of the dark
2.Fear of cats
3.Fear of rejection
4.Fear of failure
5.Fear of spiders,cockroaches and other insects
6.Fear of speaking in public (social nervousness)
7.Fear of people
8.Fear of height
9.Fear of closed spaces
10.Fear of being alone
11.Fear of punishment
12.Fear of animals
13.Fear of water
14.Fear of disease
15.Fear of fear [It might sound crazy, but it still exists] 

If your fear wasn’t listed here, don’t go panicking thinking that you are some kind of weird monster with strange fears. Just remember the famous people.

To really understand how to control your fear, you really have to understand what forms fear, why people have fear, and why the fears of people are different.Psychologists have broadly classified fears into 2:         

 1. Some fears are natural that everyone has. For example all babies are afraid of falling down or of loud noises and being alone. But as they grow up, they learn to adapt to these and aren’t afraid any more.

 2. Fears as a result of some past incident that led to Painful memories of  those traumatic experiences.

But, either way, people feel fear as a result of learning[ try telling that to your teacher]. What I mean is Babies fall down, get hurt and realize that falling down = pain. No fall = good, and hence are afraid of falling down. One might feel afraid because one has either had a bad experience regarding that fear or would have watched someone else tortured by that. But this doesn’t mean that all fears have to have a bad incident or a painful past associated with it.

The first step in overcoming your fear is to actually have a positive attitude. You know that one day you will be able to overcome your fear, and with your efforts, you can make that day come closer. There are at present several techniques for overcoming fears. I will discuss only one[the most effective] here, and it’s known as the method of “Reconditioning”. Basically, as the name suggests, you recondition your mind and body to be mentally and physically able to understand, and conquer your fear. Here, let me give you and example. Pretend someone has a fear of, say cats. But that person really like eating…ice cream[I mean,who doesn't?!]. So each day, he/she is given ice cream to eat while having a cat nearby at a comfortable distance[the cat shouldn't be able to come closer, say, restrained with a rope,etc]. Initially, he/she will start eyeing the cat suspiciously and eating the ice cream. As days progress, he/she will lose suspiciousness, but still be against the cat being brought near him/her. Slowly, day by day, while he/she is doing stuff he/she likes[here, eating ice cream], the cat is slowly brought near, until one day, he/she discovers that cats are really harmless and that his/her earlier fear had no reason. This is the Reconditioning method. It can be used for other phobias also. For example, someone who is socially nervous can start with Internet forums, chats, and the like, and slowly get rid of the fear. Those with stage fear can start performing with small audiences and gradually make them larger. So, by doing exactly what you fear, but in smaller steps, one can actually get rid of one’s fear. But, I wouldn’t advise this method if you are afraid of dying.

The keyword in the reconditioning method is “small steps”. I wouldn’t advise drastic measures in one day, that would just worsen your fear. And I wouldn’t actually advise doing this to get rid of your fear of heights:

SOME FAMOUS QUOTES REGARDING FEARS:

CHERI HUBER: Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.
H. JACKSON BROWN JR.: Don’t be afraid to go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is.
HANNAH ARENDT: Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival.
MARILYN FERGUSON: Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.

Image via Wikipedia

The name for the phobia is paraskevidekatriaphobia and it is derived from the Greek words tri(three), deka(ten), paraskevi(Friday) and of course phobia(fear).

Some people, who don’t like Friday the thirteenth refuse to travel, go out on first dates, undergo surgery, or even do business on the day, believing that something will go badly for them because the day is just like that. Other persons think the day is unlucky but use that as their opportunity to try whatever they think they are most at risk of experiencing failure with. They think that if they fail, they can attribute the failure to the day. Now that’s an interesting way of looking at it!

In some countries, Greece for example, Tuesday is considered an unlucky day.

Through oral traditions, phobias connected with Friday the thirteenth, have been traced back as far as Norse mythology, when the prankster Loki, disrupted a party of twelve guests.

Friday is also named for Frigga, a Norse deity, who was banished to a mountaintop when the Norse and German tribes accepted Jesus Christ.

Allegedly, Frigga held a meeting on every Friday after that to plan terrible events for the coming week.

Friday was known as witches’ Sabbath for many centuries in Scandinavia.

Some people have considered Friday an unlucky day since the 1300s. There have been a few stock market crashes and other unhappy events on Fridays.

In numerology, thirteen goes over the completeness of twelve. This is contrary to the reality in some cultures, where when you buy a dozen of something, the seller sweetens the deal by adding a thirteenth item to your purchase free of charge!

In Thomas Lawson’s novel about Friday the thirteenth, an unscrupulous broker takes advantage of people’s fears and engineers chaos on Wall Street.

According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute located in America, almost 21 million people are affected by this phobia.

The Dutch Centre for Insurance Statistics states that fewer accidents happen on this day because people are more careful and take more precautions.

Image via Wikipedia

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