Lichtenstein: The Money Laundering Capital of The World

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 02:08:09 +0000

Lichtenstein: The Money Laundering Capital of the World

While seemingly sleepy and unpretentious, Lichtenstein, one of the smallest nations in Europe, or for that matter, the world, has been quietly building up a sizeable fortune in gold and macramé sleep caps for women. Known as the sleep cap and gold mine center of Europe, Lichtenstein has been quietly waiting for its moment in the sun. Descended from Alemanni tribesmen on or about 500 A.D., Liechtensteiners are fiercely independent and have waited for over 1,500 years to destroy the rest of Europe. Their chief weapon is money laundering.

Even Kids do it

The population of Lichtenstein is steeped in history and understands that the way to achieve dominance and ultimate hegemony is through currency control and their weaving mills located throughout the mountains. Up until the 1950s, the only sport that was taught within their school systems was table tennis (pin pong) and after the Liechtensteiner pin pong debacle at the Olympics held in 1950 in Smerdegor, Iceland, the leaders of Lichtenstein decided to emphases money laundering and their sizable knitting industry which for reasons unknown centered on the manufacture of sleep caps for women. Children throughout Lichtenstein know two things: 1. How to run a money laundering operation and 2. How to weave macramé women’s sleep caps.

Many world renowned macro economists have postulated an interesting theory: Lichtenstein’s involvement with weaving is merely a cover for their more sinister money currency manipulative activities. Alton Fishman-Tuner Weavel, Ph.D. from Columbia’s School of Worldly Economics has stated publicly that “…Lichtenstein’s yearly sales of macramé headgear amounts to only about $4,230 ( in Lichtenstein’s bonus buck dollar currency) which equates to roughly $125.00 USD)”. Whether we’re talking about $4230 or $125, the amount is so negligible that it’s obvious Lichtenstein has placed its fortunes on the currency manipulation band wagon, rather than macramé.

Chocolate, Clocks and Currency

In corroboration of this assertion, it was recently disclosed that Dr. Vognard Ethmann, a prominent veterinary plastic surgeon from Triesenberg, Lichtenstein was caught smuggling over $18.7 billion in Swiss francs in his overnight bag. Also reported was the fact that he had jammed 2 towels, 3 washcloths, a case of those tasty bitter sweet chocolate morsels (that are placed on your pillow) as well as a brass alarm clock that he had apparently stolen from the very swanky Le Ritz-Depardieu Hotel in downtown Manhattan. In any event, this was the 13th arrest of Lichtenstein nationals trying to smuggle currency out of other countries. It was never explained why the good doctor, in the above case would steal items from his hotel room, but this is not the first time hotel room items were targeted by traveling Liechtensteiners.

The currency manipulation activities of Lichtenstein, while disturbing, are not expected to destabilize Europe at any time in the near future. Very Special Agent, Herman Pekinese, of the FBI’s Silly, But Annoying Crimes Unit (SBACU) has stated that at the current rate of Lichtenstein’s criminal activities, it would take approximately 124,732 years to affect any serious change in the world currency situation. And that assumes that all of the other economies in the world simultaneously stopped producing anything of value, at all, including Hostess Twinkies.

Watch and Wait

The economic impact is minimal, but it quite frankly annoys the other economic ministers on the world stage that the nation of Lichtenstein can, with impunity, break international law. Guðfrøðr “Vinnie” Sør-Trøndelag, the First Best Economic Minister of Norway has publicly stated that any Liechtensteiners committing such economic crimes should be arrested, tried in The Hague and forced to wear pink lederhosen for the duration of their trials. Whether or not this will happen is highly suspect as lederhosen, particularly in pink, are in very short supply. In the end, everyone will just have to wait, unless Lichtenstein commits the equivalent of the Pearl Harbor of currency manipulation crimes forcing the rest of the world economies to take action immediately.

Seven Low Cost Dating Ideas

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:40:07 +0000

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Between the cost of living and the high price tag involved in almost every aspect of going out, it can be difficult to come up with inexpensive dating ideas. The following is a list of fun, low cost to no cost activities you can share with a significant other or creative ideas for those who are actively dating. Enjoy!

Sports and the Outdoors: For people who love exercising, asking that special person on a date to go for a jog, hike, rollerblade ride, or a nice walk along the beach, a nice bike trail or around your neighborhood can be a great way to spend time with another person. It is absolutely free and it gives you a nice workout at the same time. So, even if you don’t have the best condition with your date, you will at least enjoy a nice workout!
Museums: Many museums are reasonably priced and can make for a very low key, nice way to spend a date. You can learn much about a person in a short period of time by what type of art and artifacts they are drawn too. You can also see if they are interested in you and what you think of different museum pieces. It can be an activity that lasts all day long as many museums have refreshment stands and movies you can watch as well as nice shops you can browse. Why not start by Viewing Beautiful Treasures from the J Paul Getty Museum?
Short Day Trips: Why not take a short driving trip to a beautiful location you have heard about? Maybe you know some cliffs that have an exceptional view at a particular time at night. Or maybe you know a driving area that has a nice view along the way. This can make for a nice casual date.
Rent a Movie: Yes, it might sound too simple, but sometimes the simplest things in life can be the most special. Why not rent his favorite movie? And, next time why not opt for her favorite movie? It is a very low cost way to spend time with that significant person in your life.
Recreational Room: Many apartment complexes have a recreational room that has a billiard table, ping pong table and sometimes other great activities you can participate in. Why not invite that special person over and share some time in the room playing a few competitive games free of cost? It can be a nice, casual date.
Street Vendors & Entertainers: Depending where you live there may be some local, popular areas where there are a constant stream of street vendors and entertainers that you can spend the day watching and browsing amongst. Browsing can be a fun way to get to know your significant other’s tastes and watching entertainers can be fun. Just think that you can see so many unpredictable sites in one contained area for free!
Make a Homemade Meal: How romantic!? You can prepare your significant other’s favorite meal or cook up one of your best dishes. It can be a nice way to show that special person that you want to make them something nice in a low key inexpensive fashion. You will have complete privacy with your date. It is also nice to know that you will not have to worry about dress codes or reservations. It can make for a much less stressful date situation.

These are just some great, inexpensive ways to spend quality time with that special person in your life! “Money can’t buy you love” and spending time with someone does not have to break the bank.

So, take the time to stop and smell the flowers with that special person and focus on what’s most important; time with the person who makes your heart flutter and brings butterflies to you stomach. Love, and be loved.

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Dreams of the Heart – volume I by Joie Schmidt is available:

* Volume I: Amazon Kindle, Adobe Reader, iTunes, iPod, iPhone, iPad and iBooks

Dreams of the Heart – volume II is available:

* Volume II: Amazon Kindle, Adobe Reader

———> Stay tuned . . . vol. II will soon be available on iTunes, iPod, iPhone, iPad and iBooks!

(*In memoriam of the tragedy in Japan all proceeds from – volume I – sales will go to the relief efforts until 3/11/12)

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Lichtenstein: The Money Laundering Capital of The World