The face is the first thing you look at the person before us: if he has a smile too strong could mean that you are trying to smile, though his eyes removed his eyes from us, you look around, the ground …. It will mean that he does not care what we say or feel embarrassed that our presence is a clear sign of submission and weakness. 

And what about the handshake when there is this guy? Aside from the unpleasant sensation of wet and sweaty hand reveals that anxiety and nervousness, also happens to run into handshakes “soft” that indicate a lack of character. A close firmly and decisively but brief indicates character, honesty and determination. Tighten your fists is a sign of aggression, while his arms crossed in front of our party is a sign of closure and rejection, and the same goes for the legs and back off if our interlocutor, while sitting sideways on a seat is a sign of discomfort. 

The way of walking indicates something about us. For example, those who make big steps is usually a person who thinks big and is willing to do anything to get what he wants and to achieve their objectives, while those who make small steps is very meticulous and before risking to be 100% secure. 

He who speaks without a moment to sit still in a hurry to leave, so better not waste time in unnecessary conversation. The distance between the two persons shall be equal to the length of his arm extended forward, not to enter the space of others and causing discomfort or frighten the other party. Also avoid backslapping or other direct contact if you are not in extreme confidence. 

Please be careful: many of us often create a mask for fear of not being accepted, but body language can not be commanded, and above all never lies! We’ve provided some small, quick starting point to get an idea of what non-verbal communication and how this is much more important, at times, words! 

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Communication is a very important aspect of our community life today. Without communication, life will be jeopardized.  We all know that communication can be in two ways, verbal and non-verbal.

Verbal communication always set things right (apart from some exceptions). But non-verbal communication always creates problems especially in a community relationship.

Our non-verbal communication has to be correct and effective to avoid unwanted gaps, quarrels and disputes among friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and even husband & wives in the community. Following are few examples of non-verbal communication which can clarify our understanding.

1.       Precious Eyes: We don’t like blood shot big eyes. Do we? It scares, irritates, agitates and provokes the opposite person. The children start crying feeling scared of their dads, the wives get agitated and provoked at their husbands and friends get ready to hit back or talk back with their colleagues seeing their blood shot eyes. On the contrary I have seen cases where the soft and calm eyes of persons give others encouragement, comfort and confidence.

Sometimes people get beating in public because of winking at girls. Sometimes winking also meant for keeping quite or making the receiver alert about certain matters or situation.

So it is really important how we communicate through our precious eyes in our community.

2.       Suggestive Gestures: Sometimes we make different gestures in our hands which create lots of problems too.  I have seen many big fights in schools and colleges because of weird & rude gestures at others especially at girls.

God has given us such expressible muscles in our face that we can communicate many things using just our facial muscles. For example, a smile can do real wonders which is not unknown to all of us. Yet a bad and rude gesture may be discouraging or can stir up anger in somebody.

3.       Humble Postures: Postures interprets our attitude. The way we sit, the way we stand, the way we lean forward or backward conveys our intention, motives, and attitude. Rude postures spreads wrong vibes in the surrounding or towards the receiver but humble postures really spreads good vibes in the environment.

4.       Magical Touch & Embraces: ‘Jadu ki Jhapi’ (in Hindi) or Magical Hugs are very important in a community relationship. I have seen my Muslim friends hug each other to show the brotherly love among them, which is just fantastic. A hug can really boost somebody’s moral or encourage or give courage to somebody. A hug destroys enmity. A hug is a medium of spreading love in the community relationship. A hug comforts a broken hearted. That is why there’s something called Touch therapy in therapeutic treatments.

We are responsible for our community. When we communicate in our community we need to be careful. Our effective non-verbal communication either can spread love and harmony or create disputes and even to the extent of riots.  

There are three different levels of communication:

1. Intra-personal Communication, 
2. One-way Communication & 
3. Non-verbal communication. 

Among all these most important is non-verbal communication. The scientists have estimated that 70% of our communication is non-verbal and ironically most of us don’t know the effective ways of non-verbal communication. 

There are three major ways how we communicate non-verbally:

1. Eye Contact: We communicate a lot of emotion through our eyes. Eye to eye contact is very important in communication. Lack of eye contact can indicate that the person is hiding something, telling lies, avoiding the communicator etc. It may signal negative self image of the person.

2. Postures: Sitting postures or position also communicate a person’s attitude. Rigid posture may indicate stress. Folding of hands may indicate ‘not ready to open up’. Leaning towards to the communicator may indicate aggressive attitude or interested also. 

3. Gestures: Facial expressions, voice qualities & tempo, body movements, smile, head nods etc, are coming under gestures. 

I have a list of representative gestures and the meanings it ascribes to them, which I got from my counseling books. Those are as follows:

Erect Head: Self-esteem, Confidence, and Courage
Bowed Head: Humility, Guilt, and Submission
Touching Nose: Fear, Stage fright
Artificial Cough: Doubt, Surprise
Whistling: Genuine Self-Confidence
  
Non-verbal Communication is important and we need to learn the effective ways of non-verbal communication to be successful in this world. The above detail gives a brief & rough idea of what non-verbal communication is and how to go about it. If we observe people we are talking to we can learn more. I feel observation is the best way of learning effective non-verbal communication. 

All the best!