First of all , make sure that you and your therapist go along.  It’s not necessary to try to asses whether the person is one type or another, just trust your first impression – if your candidate for a therapist seems kind , then you just might want to trust your personal issues with them. If not – go to the next. But in no circumstances should you entrust your mental health to a person who clearly exhibits a negative attitude towards you. In some therapies, getting a friendly psychotherapist is crucial, in some it’s not that necessary, but it has a positive effect.

After that ,you might want to check the licenses of your psychotherapist (or godt psykoterapeut københavn as we say in Denmark) – make sure he’s legally allowed to practice his profession. Many of the therapists choose to display their certificates in showcases or in frames on the walls of their offices, but if you can’t see it right away, just ask. You’re entitled to such a right as a patient.

With attitude and license considered, you might want to ask for the particular type of psychotherapy that he uses. If you’re familiar with the different types of therapies, you can ask right away, but if not , you can just ask how he or she has handled patients with problems similar to yours in the past. That will greatly help you understand how he practices and whether he or she will be of use to you in your therapeutic sessions.

Having most of the things about professionalism covered, at the end there comes the need to discuss the pricing policy of your psychotherapist and what his fees are. Some psychotherapists have a sliding-scale pricing policy – this means that your fees will be calculated based on your income, so this provides you with more accessible therapeutic care if you don’t have that much money, but also makes it more expensive if you’re reasonably wealthy.  Whether a sliding-scale policy is more convenient for you or not depends on your income, but still, make sure to ask that question in order to know how you will be taxed. Also , ask if your therapist accepts insurance – most companies nowadays insure their employees with policies that cover mental health and therapy, so if this is an option for you , you should certainly avail from it instead of paying out of pocket for your mental health services.

The effects of the banking and hedge fund crisis will be with us for a long time and many of the big players are still around. Some are waiting for their day in court and others are on bail. One of the biggest names, Bernie Madoff, has gone down with a 150 year sentence but many more will escape prosecution.

Why is that? Because just like the banks that were too big to fail, there are personalities in government, accountancy and Wall St who are too big to fall.

They are also protected by the strongest Mafia rule of all, the code of silence. Madoff claims in a statement from prison that bankers had to know the profits from his $65bn scam were not legitimate. He accuses them of “willful blindness” and points the finger at his lead banker, JP Morgan. According to him their thinking was along the lines of “We know something is wrong but we don’t want to know.”

There were very few who spoke up before the crash happened and when they did they were usually mocked or ignored. Significant figures in business and government were not prepared to derail the gravy train. The most devastating argument is that the crash was completely predictable but the deals were so profitable the banks and hedge funds went along with them.  

The code of silence was enforced by bankers who fired whistle blowers – and then made sure they would never work in banking again. The choice was, keep your head down and enjoy your bonus, or speak up and lose your career.

The crash of 2008 wasn’t a development that came out of clear blue sky. The rush towards deregulation started back in Ronald Reagan’s time in the White House. Reagan was originally backed by a group of Californian businessmen who wanted him to move up the ladder because they believed they could shape his presidency. Under the guise of freeing up the economy, ending petty red tape regulation and getting government off the back of the people – bankers gradually worked the system into a money making machine for that operated exclusively to their advantage. And naturally, the total disadvantage of their fellow citizens who have paid with their jobs, homes and family security. 

Just to complete the circle, bankers are now using funds from tax payers to start again. The game will continue, banker’s rules will operate. A documentary aptly titled Inside Job describes the whole sorry tale with testimonies that include the secrets of Wall St madam Kristin Davies, plus a psychotherapist who specialises in greed and sexual disorders. 

Tony Soprano wasn’t short of company on the couch.

To help relieve us of the pain of anxiety, hopelessness, and a unsettled peace, we need to have our minds stayed on God. Isaiah the prophet understood this when he penned the words in Isaiah 26:3-4. “You will keep him in perfect peace. Whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. Trust in the Lord forever, for in Yah, the Lord, is everlasting strength.” A renewed focus and a different mindset is one of the key elements to overcome any form of adversity. The different storms in life that we have, we can do something about them. All storms come and go for the time that they rage, and we have to go through and endure until the storm is over. There some storms in life that are mild while others can be devastating, but know for sure storms do not last forever. 

To keep our sanity we sometimes may need the help of a support team to help during times of doubt, fear, and intense realities in which we may need a sense of direction from a neutral party. Psychotherapist, Psychiatrist, spiritual leaders and advisors, supportive friends and loved ones can all be supportive and part of your support team.  To get help and want to be helped sincerely we have to ask and be willing to accept  the reality of what may be happening in our lives at the time we may need someone to help us overcome and deal with the pain and challenges we may be facing.

To stay and be at peace, we have to have trust God by walking by faith and in faith with the mind of Christ to relieve a troubled mind and spirit. Circumstances we can change are  only a prayer away. Situations that are beyond our physical control that we can do nothing about we must know that for whatever reason they are happening; is because God has allowed those things to happen. Whether good, bad, or indifferent we can still trust and believe that life can and will get better in spite of certain obstacles, challenges, pain of loss, or any other dilemma we may face.

According to the Apostle Paul he stated “And we know that all things work together for the good to those who love God , to those who are the called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28.  What you and I may go through is not entirely for us alone; as much as it is for us to help someone else who may go through the same thing you may go through, just at a different place and time.  Will you be ready to help someone in need emotionally or physically  when they go through their test? The gains and losses we have experience in life is to be a testimony and blessing for ourselves and others. To be at perfect peace keep your mind on God, Jesus Christ, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you in the direction that will give you the peace you longed for, whether it’s emotional, spiritual, or physical.

Two boys were arguing over which was safer, a plane or a train.

Tom:A train is very safe few train accidents happen.

Jack:No,a train is very dangerous.Last week, there was a train accident and 500 people died.

Tom:Really!?!? What Happened to the train!?!

Jack:A plane fell on it

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Good morning ladies and gentlemen this is your pilot speaking if you look to the right you can see that our engine is on fire. If you look to the back you can see that half of the tail is gone.Now look to the left,the whole wing has come off.Look to the right again you will see 3 people wearing parachutes.The first is the head stewardess, the second is my co-pilot and the last one is me.This message was recorded 2 minutes ago.Have a nice flight!

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Our office has a very efficient fire alarm – the minute someone gets fired the whole office knows about it

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A psychotherapist was not getting many customers so he decided to place an advertisement outside his shop to attract other people.

He hired a well-known man from the media to design the advertisement for him.The man quickly got to work and placed a sign board outside the psychotherapist’s shop.The therapist experienced a drop in the number of customers.

He saw some women looking at the sign and then running away.He decided to read his advertisement.

                                                             PSYCHO-

                                                               -THE-

                                                            -RAPIST

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Which is better prison or work?

In prison you get an 8×8 cell

At work you get a 6×6 office

In prison you can play basketball with your friends

At work you get fired for playing basketball with your friends

In prison your family and friends can visit you

At work you cant even call your family

In prison you are behind bars wanting to get out

At work you are out wanting to get in bars

In prison you get free food

At work you need to pay for your food

So prison is indeed better than work

A similar thing happens when you reach a personal obstacle. You’re driving along on the highway of life, doing the same thing day in and day out, just minding your own business, then there it is. An obstacle. What is the obstacle? Obviously it’s different for each of us. It may be the realization of a dead end job, an unsatisfying relationship, trying to start up your own business, or a just a plain old feeling of not being happy enough. So what are you to do?

Similar to the roadblock analogy, you would stop, think, make a new plan, and then implement the new plan. Simple, right? Maybe not. For many people it’s hard to even stop what they’re doing in order to see that there is an obstacle in their life. Instead, feelings of anxiety, frustration, and resentment, among others, emerge and filter their perception of what is in front of them. It’s like driving up to the roadblock, sitting there at a standstill, getting worked up and angry, and never getting to your intended destination. Why do people do this?

“Why” is a question with an answer that goes beyond the scope and intention of this article. But perhaps it more important to realize that people do this (including myself and perhaps you, too) and that there are solutions to “getting around” the obstacles in our lives. It may just take an objective bystander to simply point out to you that you are not moving towards that place where you want to be. That may be enough of a wake-up call to get you moving. However, as a reflection of our consumer driven society, it is sometimes more convenient to get hired help in the form of a counselor or life coach.

Seeking Professional Help

Counselors and psychotherapists, in most states, receive formal education that culminates in a master’s degree and ultimately licensure or certification. They primarily focus on what’s wrong with the individual and work with their clients to bring about life change. They achieve this through the application of various theories based on social, psychological, and behavioral empirical research…for the most part. However, it’s not uncommon for these professionals to at times resort to good old advice giving. You can search the web, or the trusty old phone book for local therapists in your area. Word of mouth referrals are also a good place to start, but feel free to “shop around” and interview with these professionals to find one that you feel can best meet your needs.

Life coaches are professionals that may have a background in fields other than mental health and counseling. Many have never even set foot in a college classroom. But that shouldn’t discourage the use of their service. Coaches can take a slightly different approach to helping an individual achieve life change. In general, coaches work with the skills you already have and “coach” you into bringing out your fullest potential. Kind of like an athletic coach who helps athletes become better than they were when they first started. Most coaches will also focus on helping someone develop a specific skill rather than a broad set of life changes. For example, a career coach will help you find a specific job, whereas a counselor may help you find out what you want to do in life. It’s important to research as best you can to find out their expertise, their experience, their training, and their customers’ satisfaction. Again, word of mouth reference is very helpful here, but you can also go online and do a search for coaching organizations to get referrals for someone in your area.

What Does It Cost?

Typically, coaches can be much more expensive up front and have hire rates per hour than a counselor or psychotherapist. It’s not unusual for coaches to charge a few thousand dollars for their services. Counselors on the other hand usually have smaller up front costs, but see you for several sessions over the course of a time period that can be much longer than the coach. And while counselors are usually covered by insurance, there are very few, if any, insurance plans that will cover the costs of seeing a life coach.

While the costs will vary between coaches and counselors, it’s not surprising that the use of these services can consume a significant chunk of a person’s finances. However, that shouldn’t stop you from getting where you want to be in life. The results can be rewarding in the end, both from a financial standpoint and a personal growth one. For example, a coach or counselor can help you acquire the skills needed for a career that could lead to a healthy income. You could make back the money that you spent on hiring professional help, and then some. Additionally, may be a better decision financially to increase the opportunities for life change by investing in your personal growth rather than saving up for next year’s newest car model, for example. Think about it, why would you invest in something that depreciates over time? Isn’t it better to invest in yourself (i.e., something that can appreciate over time)?

Looking To A Mentor

Another resource for people looking to change where their life is headed is in the form of a mentor. This is not a very talked about route in the mainstream. Mentors don’t usually advertise that they are mentors – the good ones don’t, anyway. A mentor is a person who you respect, look up too, and whose life or lifestyle you want to model yours after. They provide you with their wisdom, share their experiences, and can help you acquire the skills needed to foster professional or personal development. Generally there is no monetary fee, as a mentor is usually at a point in his life where he is sharing his knowledge because of altruistic reasons. But there may be an unspoken “quid pro quo” aspect that underlies the relationship. Don’t cringe. It’s usually the polite thing to do; that is, to give something back to the person who invested a lot of time and effort into your own personal development. Mentors may not expect anything in return, but it’s ok to give back something as a gesture of thanks or to show your mentor that you have really taken what he has given you to heart. You can find a mentor by making yourself available to others, joining social networks, attending seminars, or by just asking others for help. You’ll know who the mentors are. You’ll know it because you’ll say to yourself, “I want to be like that person.”

So the next time you’ve come face to face with an obstacle in life, what will you do? Coaches, counselors, psychotherapists, and mentors are just one way of getting help when you feel stuck. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to pay for help. But you’ve got to start doing, and stop not doing. You’ve got to apply what you learn and expect that the first time you try something that it won’t automatically lead to change. It’s a process. Sometimes it’s a shorter process for some, and a longer process for others. But your life will never change unless you change first. Step out of your comfort zone and risk a little.