She’d been recoiling from openness. Whenever Rachael had a sentence at her tongue, she analyzed it with ruthless derision instead of noticing and speaking, noticing and speaking and listening, noticing and speaking and listening and responding. Why was she afraid? Rejection. Even now, five months along, Rachael was terrified of that.

Human memory is a marvelous but fallacious instrument. 

The memories which lie within us are not carved in stone; 

not only do they tend to become erased as the years go by, but

 often they change, or even increase by incorporating extraneous features.

~Primo Levi

Black Friday, as I write this many of been standing in line, in the cold in some places waiting for their chance to get that big bargain.  To spend their cash, or their credit and make someone’s Christmas more special.  The madness of it all black friday.  

Not a big shopper at all, thats just me, I do much of my shopping online. It is easier, and I have more warmth at my computer than trudging through the snow or cold.  

Better memories are made, at least thats me.  I do love to watch from a distance the folks on the news crawl and clamor over each other to get the latest bargain.  It makes me smile and laugh that I can understand the chaos of it all from a distance.

Memories of my days as a store manager, assistant manager for the big box department stores of the 70’s and 1980’s.   I worked for Hills Department Stores and Ames most of my career and the stories of Cabbage Patch Kids, Teddy Ruxpin, talking bears and Tickle me Elmo would have you rolling in laughter.  The madness of it all watching grown adults run down asiles of a store to get to the hot item.  The phone calls each day, ‘did you get more’?

Often the answer was no but they called back the next day.

Memories are great we can reflect on them and reject them if they don’t make us happy or smile.  They are our memories after all do with them what you wish.

I understand and promote the power of a gratitude journal.  We should all understand that is our life is worth living then it is worth recording the important stuff.  

Our grandchildren and our children will appreciate the record, the written record of what we thought, what we bought, what we cared about and who cared about us.

Take the time to not only make the memories and share the love and joy with another but take time to summarize the memoreis in to a journal.  The memories will be more accurate for one and the other thing it will become a reminder of a holiday that just went way to fast.

What jokes got told that were just so darn funny?

What item on the table did you just want to ask for the recipe?

How did the evening end?   What smiles were shared and how much did you really eat?

Memories are like a soft breeze on the beach that brings in the ocean air and gently touches our skin with comfort.  Memoreis choose them, make them and keep the ones to reflect upon when the moment is called upon again.

Take time to record them in a journal, on a computer, in a blog.  Somewhere take the time to record them. 

What joy they may bring to someone down the road of the future.  What joy they may bring to another.

So here is hoping all the thanksgiving memories you made are warm and filled with joy.  The leftovers securely put away for an afternoon snack.  The dishes done and toweled away in their proper place.

Enjoy the day and as always smiles to you this day  : )

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On this day in history

1343 – A tsunami, caused by the earthquake in the Tyrrhenian Sea, devastates Naples (Italy) and the Maritime Republic of Amalfi, among other places.

1667 – A deadly earthquake rocks Shemakha in the Caucasus, killing 80,000 people.

1703 – The Great Storm of 1703, the greatest windstorm ever recorded in the southern part of Great Britain, reaches its peak intensity which it maintains through November 27. Winds gust up to 120 mph, and 9,000 people die.

1758 – French and Indian War: British forces capture Fort Duquesne from French control. Fort Pitt is built nearby and it grows into modern Pittsburgh.

1759 – An earthquake hits the Mediterranean destroying Beirut and Damascus and killing 30,000-40,000.

1783 – American Revolutionary War: The last British troops leave New York City three months after the signing of the Treaty of Paris.

1833 – A massive undersea earthquake, estimated magnitude between 8.7-9.2 rocks Sumatra, producing a massive tsunami all along the Indonesian coast.

1839 – A cyclone slams India with high winds and a 40 foot storm surge, destroying the port city of Coringa (which has never been completely rebuilt). The storm wave sweeps inland, taking with it 20,000 ships and thousands of people. An estimated 300,000 deaths result from the disaster.

1863 – American Civil War: Battle of Missionary Ridge – At Missionary Ridge in Tennessee, Union forces led by General Ulysses S. Grant break the Siege of Chattanooga by routing Confederate troops under General Braxton Bragg.

1864 – American Civil War: A group of Confederate operatives calling themselves the Confederate Army of Manhattan starts fires in more than 20 locations in an unsuccessful attempt to burn down New York City.

1874 – The United States Greenback Party is established as a political party consisting primarily of farmers affected by the Panic of 1873.

1926 – The deadliest November tornado outbreak in U.S. history strikes on Thanksgiving day. 27 twisters of great strength are reported in the Midwest, including the strongest November tornado, an estimated F4, that devastates Heber Springs, Arkansas. There are 51 deaths in Arkansas alone, 76 deaths and over 400 injuries in all.

1947 – Red Scare: The “Hollywood Ten” are blacklisted by Hollywood movie studios.

1947 – New Zealand ratifies the Statute of Westminster and thus becomes independent of legislative control by the United Kingdom.

1963 – President John F. Kennedy is buried at Arlington National Cemetery.

1970 – In Japan, author Yukio Mishima and one compatriot commit ritualistic suicide after an unsuccessful coup attempt.

1984 – 36 top musicians gather in a Notting Hill studio and record Band Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas in order to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia.

1986 – Iran Contra Affair: US Attorney General Edwin Meese announces that profits from covert weapons sales to Iran were illegally diverted to the anti-communist Contra rebels in Nicaragua.

1987 – Typhoon Nina pummels the Philippines with category 5 winds of 165 mph and a surge that destroys entire villages. At least 1,036 deaths are attributed to the storm.

1992 – The Federal Assembly of Czechoslovakia votes to split the country into the Czech Republic and Slovakia from January 1, 1993.n.

1996 – An ice storm strikes the central U.S. killing 26 people. A powerful windstorm affects Florida and winds gust over 90 mph, toppling trees and flipping trailers.

1999 – The United Nations establishes the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women to commemorate the murder of three Mirabal Sisters for resistance against the Rafael Trujillo dictatorship in Dominican Republic.

[edit]

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My daily recipe for today.  Hope you enjoy : )  From AllRecipes.com.

After – Thanksgiving Turkey Soup 

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Your Daily Prayer 

Lord, thank you for another day of life.

Thanks you for the nature that sits upon my door step, may I notice and enjoy it more.

May this day after our day of thanks give reminding me that gratitude for the simple pleasures of life and of memories made are the most significant things to reflect upon.

May I be guided and given the opportunity to share a smile.  Share a kind word and make a difference for another to brighten their day.

May we all take that step to reach out and shine our lift of love, joy and laughter.

Thanks for that love that is given and shared this time of year.  May we take this time to reach out and share our kindess and love that have been given to us.

May we become filled with gratitude that overflows.

Thank you for the gift of life and faith that your grace is enough.

May I appreciate life each moment shared this holiday season.

I give you praise and the glory for all of that

With humility and gratitude I thank you

Amen

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Daily Information

A very cool time piece for the web

Sunrise  

Sunset

Next Full Moon

Days till Spring 

Sharing a smile ~  Sending you love ~  Pass it on

: )

brought to you by Make ME Smile Online

written by Victor Yakin copyright protected 2011  

Stop expecting others to read your mind, to know what you want and need, and to satisfy your unspoken expectations. Stop waiting for people to complete you. ~Kristen Moeller

Rather than be discouraged, always remember that rejection and resistance are almost guaranteed when you are doing something very important and very special. ~Bradley Trevor Greive

We break our necks to earn respect and admiration, only to discover that we really have no control over how others perceive us. ~AnnStope Wilson Schaef

Stop determining your worth and value by what other people say.  You cannot live your life just based on what everyone else thinks  ~Joyce Meyer

We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do. ~Ethel Barrett

MORE ARTICLES BY THIS AUTHOR

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11 Encouraging Quotes to Get Through Disappointment/

11 Inspirational Quotes on Relationships From Famous People/

Everywhere in the world there are rules that make it possible for people to do the thousands of different things that are part of everyday living. Without such rules, it would be impossible to get things done. Everyone would be in a state of confusion. Two people could not even play a simple game of checkers if each one followed a different set of rules. Driving from one place to another would be very dangerous if all drivers made up their own rules of the road.

Most of these rules for everyday living are not found in books. Many are not written down at all. But everyone knows what they are. They are the things that help us understand what other people may expect from us and what we may expect from others.

These unwritten rules are part of what we call culture. A culture is the total way of life created by a group of people. It includes things, ideas, behavior, and speech.

There following are some of the examples of the different kinds of behavior that people expect of each other. You will see how a culture’s unwritten rules protect people from confusion and harm.

Expected Behavior

Have you ever seen an angry baby? Then you know how it behaves. All over the world, angry babies behave in much the same way. Their little hands clench into fists. Their faces wrinkle with temper. Then they take a big breath and yell. They want what they want when they want it. They have no other way to say so. But such behavior is only for infants. Part of growing up is discovering that one cannot always do as one pleases. After all, the world could not work if everyone went about acting like angry babies. People must learn to control their behavior. This is why every culture has rules that define how people are expected to behave. A culture’s unwritten rules of behavior are called its norms.

Children begin learning the norms of their culture when they are still quite small. They learn by being told and by watching others. As they grow older, they get into the habit of behaving in the expected ways. They learn to do this almost without thinking about it. They are startled if they see someone else go against the norms they have learned.

Being Polite: A norm we expect from each other

Many norms develop in an effort to make life easier and more pleasant. For example, one doesn’t start talking when someone else is speaking. That would be impolite. Being polite is something we expect of each other. We have learned that politeness makes everyday living much more pleasant.

Setting Up Our day

Some norms deal with how our days are set up. Many people in the world work from nine to five, with an hour off at noontime. But in countries with very hot climates, people may go home for four hours in the middle of the day. This is a time to rest. They return to work later, in the early evening, when the heat of the day passed.

Norms and People

Norms can tell you where people are from. In European countries, Americans stand out because of their table manners. As they cut their food and eat it, Americans shift the fork from one hand to the other. People in Europe keep the fork in the same hand when they eat. But always keeping one’s fork in the in the same hand is considered bad manners in the United States.

To say goodbye, you are used to putting up one hand with the palm facing out, and then waving it. But if you did this in a country like Turkey, people would think you meant “Come Hear!”. The norm in Turkey is different.

Norms in Different Members of a Culture

Norms are often different for the different members of a culture. In an American culture, for example, teenagers are expected to carry packages and hold doors open for their grandparents. Parents are expected to give their children comfort and advice whenever necessary.

Norms that changes our behavior

Sometimes, norms of behavior change. During the period of change, people may feel uncertain and confused. After World War II, the country of Japan experienced many big changes. The norm of behavior in this new and changing Japan was for people to act according to their own consciences, to their own sense of right and wrong. In 1950 a young village woman discovered that a local official had cheated in counting election votes. Acting as her conscience told her, she reported this to the police. The official was tried, found guilty, and put in jail.

People in the cities thought she had done the right thing. City newspapers praised her. But the people of her village refused to speak to her. Why? They believed that no one should be shames in public. This belief had long been a norm of Japanese culture. It was much older than the new norm of following one’s conscience. The villagers believed that the woman had shamed the official. They felt that she had brought shame to the whole village and everyone in it.

Changes in norms amongst women

Before World War II, young women in the United States were expected to grow up, marry, and have children. They were supposed to become good housewives and mothers. But after the war, expectations have changes. More and more women left home when they finished school. They went to big cities and took jobs. Many did not marry. Often, those who did marry still kept their jobs. Today there is a new norm that a woman can have a business life as well as a life as wife and mother.

The new norm is that woman may choose. But during the time that the norm was changing, there were problems. Young women who left their hometowns to take jobs were likely to be severely criticized by people who knew them. They were going against what had long been expected of young women in their country.

Learning Expected Behavior

As we learn the behavior that is expected of us, we are learning the social values of our culture. A culture’s social values are all the ways of thinking and acting that the people consider important.

In some cultures, it is important to try always to win or gain things that many people want. We would say that such cultures value competition. In Japanese schools, for example, students compete very hard for the highest marks.

Among certain Indian groups in the United States, it is considered wrong to try to do better than others. Some who wins too often at a game might not be asked to play again.

Learning the Social Values of our Culture

How do children learn the norms and social values of their culture? In most cultures, children begin learning from their parents. In many cultures, the learning goes on with grandparents, older brothers and sisters, and other family members as teachers.

But learning to follow the norms and accept the social values of a culture does not stop when a child steps out the front door. In fact, much learning takes place away from home. In most countries, schoolteachers play important part in helping children learn how to get along in their culture. They also learn from friends, neighbors, and religious teachings. They learn great deal from the mass media. As adults, most of us learn about our culture in our places of work and from the new social groups we join. For most people, learning continues all thorough life.

Learning Norms by Observation

One important way to learn is by observation. This is the act of seeing and noticing. A child watches what older people do and then tries to do the same. If a Quechua girl sees her mother and older sister spinning wool, she may also want to try. Just by watching, she begins to learn how to do the job. How to keep the wool from getting tangled.

Learning Norms by Instruction

Another way to learn is by instruction. This is being told or shown what to do and how to go about it. It is instruction when your math teacher shows you how to work new kind of problem. Your mother is instructing you when she shows you how to write a thank-you note for an enexpected birthday present that arrived in the mail.

Short stories also teach the social values of a culture. One story told, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf!,” has been retold for centuries. The story is about a little boy who likes to shout “Wolf! Wolf!”. Each time he shouts these words, other people come running to save him. But there never is a wolf. The little boys is just playing a game. Then one day when he is alone, a real wolf comes along. The little boy is truly afraid. “Wolf! Wolf! He shouts. But nobody comes to save him. You may already know what social value this story told us.

Encouraging others to keep the norms followed

All people everywhere have ways to encourage others to keep following the culture’s norms and respecting its social values. Hugs, kisses, smiles, and kind words let people know that we like what they are doing. Such things are called rewards. They are like presents given for doing right.

Norms and Rejection

But what happens when we notice someone doing something wrong? We do not smile or say kind words. We may frown or speak harshly. These are forms of punishment. A child who does not play fairly with other children may be punished by rejection, by being sent or kept away from the group. Adults who break certain traffic laws may be given a fine, a sum of money they have to pay as a punishment. People found guilty of such serious crimes as robbery may be punished by being sent to prison.

Most people usually follow the expected ways of their culture. It is only a small number who break the most important rules. This is why most groups, most of the time, work much as they supposed to.

When we look at behavior modification we typically see aba therapist working on changing a behavior that is inappropriate. It could be hand flapping or crying out in the middle of the room.  It could be anything. But what you’ll notice is more often than not we aren’t taking away their behavior completely.  We are simply modifying it and making it more appropriate. 

The same is true with a special interest.  When we see a special interest that is inappropriate it’s important to handle the problem carefully.  It can be harmful in a lot of ways to take the special interest completely away.  Most people with autism are black and white thinkers.  This means that we either get something or we don’t.  If you take away the special interest which is typically something that we really get and understand then you’ve left us with nothing.  For example, say there are ten levels of understanding a subject.  Level 1 is understanding the least about it and level 10 is understanding the most. 

The average person will probably have a few level twos, threes, fours, fives, sixes, sevens, eights, and nines, and maybe one ten.  Someone on the spectrum will probably have several zeros or several tens.  There’s no in betweens for us.  We are either fully engaged and interested or we aren’t at all.

This is exactly why we never want to take a special interest away completely.  Before we try and do anything with the special interest it’s important to examine the situation.  Evaluation is a critical stage.  I’d want to know why the child has this special interest? Where did it come from? How is he using it?  Is it a part of his make believe world?  What is he trying to cope with? 

We need to answer these questions because we need to know how to best modify the interest.  If a child’s getting some crucial needs met by engaging in the special interest then we need to first make sure we really need to replace the interest.  Is it something that’s harmful to them or others?  Is it something that is inappropriate to talk about?  We have to answer these questions before we can go any further. 

If you try and take a behavior or interest away from a child with autism then it’s important to make sure that you replace it.  If you don’t replace it then the child will replace it themselves.  There’s a good chance that you may or may not like what they choose to replace it with. We need to provide some healthy choices as opposed to letting them find a replacement on their own. 

The special interest is hard to let go of.  For me it’s like losing a best friend.  This is a concept that I find hard for others to understand.  When others look at the trombone for example all they see is a trombone.  They see the thing.  When I look at it I see a friend, a person, and a companion. 

Because of the many years of social isolation and rejection I face in school and in employment the trombone was the only friend I could count on. It was always there for me when I picked it up and wanted to go play a few notes and talk through music.  It never said that I had to pay it to hangout with it and it never said no.  It was always there.

It’s important to remember that you aren’t just taking something away from the child when changing or modifying their interests or behaviors but in most cases you are literally take someone away from them.  So remember to be cautious and careful with the child as you do this.  Remember that for them they are losing a best friend and something that’s been with them through all of the pain, frustration, and rejection. 

By modifying the interest there is nothing being taken away from the child. You are just changing a few things about the interest.  They are still able to engage in their special interest and interact with their best friend.  We are just introducing a new way for them to interact and relate to their special interest. 

Behavioral modification is my best friend. Without it I don’t know where I’d be.  Most people I talk to think of behavioral modification as something that can only be used on a child who is lashing out and hitting people or causing damage to others or property.  Behavioral modification can be used in all areas.  It can be used for the more severe behavioral problems but can also be used to teach and help a child practice good social skills.  Behavioral modification is useful in modifying special interest and helping a child navigate their make believe world. 

So the special interest plays a great role in the development of the make believe world.  The special interest is something the child is going to excel in and will likely think about a lot as it provides a feeling of accomplishment.  It is something the child relates to and understands completely.  It’s black and white, there are no gray areas.  I have used the special interest to create a lot of amazing situations in my mind in which I was living in a very happy world.  There were many times when the make believe world I was living in was a better place than the real world. 

I began to slip away to the make believe world on a more frequent basis. As soon as I knew it was safe and happier there I wanted to be there all the time.  However, being there all the time wasn’t the best thing for me.  As we will discuss later in the book, being in the make believe world too often can be a sign of major problems.   It can become harmful if you spend too much time in your imagination. If your child is spending so much time in his or her imagination that they never seem to know what’s going on at school or what the conversation is at the dinner table then we need to help them learn the appropriate times for escaping into their make believe world.

Related Articles: http://healthmad.com/mental-health/autism-driven-anxiety/

                           http://healthmad.com/mental-health/behavior-analysis-self-reinforcement/

For more information on autism: http://www.travisbreedingautism.com/

“Oh, it won’t work,”

“It can’t be published.” 

“So, so and so person have tried it and failed.”

“Well, we can’t help you.”…

The list is endless. I know you understand what I mean. Well you are not alone. A lot of very successful people you see today – authors, artists, writers, students, poet and different types of workers in all works of life have faced rejection. Don’t allow your spirit to sink but braise up yourself, for in a monment I’ll share with you tips on how to deal with this experience that is common to all in their success journey.

Do you desire to be succesful? if so, you must embrace rejection. For you to deal with any situation depends a lot on your perception of such experience. For you to deal with rejection you should be able to make sense of it.

Ask in the face of being rejected – you have nothing to loose

In his book, ” How to Get to Get from where you are to where you want to be”; Jack Canfield, suggested that rejection is a myth! Simply, his point of view is that if you say that it exists it will exist for you. But instead of being burdened by the feeling, that you have to assume your original statusquo in the face of rejection. Say, for exmaple, that you asked someone, for a favour and they said no; you’ve not lost anything. You just delight yourself in the opportunity of having has a go!

Acccording to Canfield: ” The truth is that you never have anything to loose by asking and because thereis something to possibly gain, by all means ask.”

Adopt the 4SW strategy

You should not be afraid to ASK. But in asking, you need to be aware of the possible answers. The 4SW adopted from Canfields book refers to: SWSWSWSW: which means the following,

some will, some won’t, so what – someone’s waiting. 

Always realise that some will say yes, some will say no. But go with the determination and faith that out there somewhere, someone is waiting for you and your ideas. It’s a game of numbers, according to him. 

From my own personal experience in fundrasing, selling for charities knocking from door to door. We were told that the success rate of having yes is 10%. So if I knocked in 100 houses at least 10 will say yes. However, you have to be able t use the tools of the trade and be peisitent not waning in your commitment to have that sale.

Develop a thick skin – learn to say “next”

Remember that you are the only one that will make your dream come true. From your dream to your goal is the process. The process includes all those hard craft skills and experiences that will lead to the birth of your dream  becoming reality. One of such is the mastery of believing in yourself in the face of opposition and being rejected. You have to learn to apply all the possibilities that you tap from being able to use your different states – physiology and focus to reahc your goal. Arm your self with this truth: if on door closes or one person say no many more will open and many will say yes! 

Remmember that there are over 5 billion people on the planet. At least someone, somewhere will say yes. Be in a position of power and move on.

Just realise that even at the time of this writng that others are facing reject, but thay still went on to accomplish GREAT THINGS!

I’ll leave you with this quote:

“Looking unto Jesus the author and of our faith: who for the joy that was set before him endured the despising the shame and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Let Jesus be your example though rejected by men, he went on to accomplish the Fathers desire. learn from his experience and all those that have walked before us. Be thoroughly inspired by their comittment.

Acceptance

            “One is the loneliest number.” Three Dog Night states it best. We all want to be accepted. We want friends, and people who see eye to eye with us. However, some of us are not so fortunate.  Some of us take this to another level–seeking revenge, murder, and suicide. Of all the reasoning behind school shootings, social rejection was the most common similarity between cases. In effort to prove this, Wright State University created a chart comparing eight shootings from one another. Six of them had the similarities of social rejection as the motive (Kidd). Pearl, Heath, and Columbine are the three cases to take a closer look at.

            Luke Woodham was a student at Pearl High School in Mississippi. He was disturbed and socially unhealthy. He slit his mother’s throat before going to school and killing his ex-girlfriend, her friend, and injuring seven other randomly chosen students with a rifle (Shepard). Before hand, in a letter, Woodham wrote: “I am not insane…I kill because people like me are mistreated everyday.” Students even described him in various unpleasant ways.

When classmates described Woodham they said he was “chubby” and a “nerd.” In a desperate need for attention, he became a member of a satanic occult called “Kroth” (Mendoza). Through this cult, he and a few other boys joined together, calling themselves misfits. Regrettably, within this cult, his friends drove him over the edge; they convinced him to carry through with the shootings. Why? His friends knew about his bottled-up anger from the break-up with his girlfriend (who was one of his victims.) They knew they could push him. In addition, he carried thoughts that made him feel rejected from society. Beyond this, even Woodham’s mother would supposedly verbally abuse him. As a result, this pushed him to murder her with a baseball bat and a butcher knife. Which began his murder spree, as a social reject (Shepard).

 Of all of the excuses behind his motives, social rejection is the number one cause. Otherwise, he would not have been a part of a cult, murdered his mother and ex-girlfriend out of rejection, and wounded several students in determination to prove what he specified as: “they push us, we push back” (Mendoza). With this theory, he was not alone.

            Michael Carneal stood at barely five feet and weighed only 110 lbs. He attended Heath High School and gunned down eight students, killing three during a prayer group. (Blank). His motive? Michael wanted respect. At that point, he was picked on far too often and could no longer take it. Sadly, even after the shooting he still said “people respect me now” (Blank).

Furthermore, he was also humiliated earlier in life. Accordingly, in a few cases, classmates pulled his pants down, and called him a “faggot” (Blank). In response, he rarely had the motivation to go to school because he felt as though no one cared for him. On the day he did have motivation, Michael gave his friends warnings but it was a boy who cried wolf, he always gave empty warnings on Mondays (Mendoza). No one noticed a difference in his final threat, which led him to draw action.

Michael brought the guns to school, and was not planning on shooting but when no one seemed to notice him flashing his guns, he began firing. He shot down eight people, killing three girls, one named Nicole who rejected him as a boyfriend. Nicole was a tall skinny brunette (opposing of his looks) who was well liked. She never actually rejected Michael as a friend, she often did homework with him, and they were in band together (Blank). This was not good enough for him.  Carneal was never able to grab her attention the way he wished he could; he had never kissed a girl before. Thus why people categorized him as  “gay.” The word stung him in ways no one had expected.

The need for social acceptance was an overwhelming power inside of Michael Corneal. With respect comes social acceptance, and this is one thing he felt he never had. His decision was a drastic reaction, although he believes he had gained respect, he gained fear, and lost respect from the families he hurt.  Just like Woodham he was a social outcast seeking attention, and sadly they are not the only two who took things to another level.

Two boys, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris plotted and killed 15 students, including themselves. This would become one of the largest school massacres of the United States and “Columbine” would never sound the same again. The motive of these two students was told straight from the horse’s mouth. Eric Harris created a website that authorities seemed to have ignored when it gave several clues to his intentions. One of his posts stated “DEAD PEOPLE DON’T ARGUE” (Shepard). Harris and Klebold were both known as those who didn’t fit in. They had very few friends and hated “the jocks.” Klebold had kept a journal of this hatred for an extended time as well.

In one of Klebold’s journal entries he made a list of the corrupt things in his life, in which he stated that he can’t do any sports right and no one wants to accept him even if he wants them to (Shepard). Continuing in his journal, he states, “I’ll go on my killing spree against anyone I want” (Dedman).  This journal entry was written two years prior to the event, giving evident clues he had been humiliated for quite some time, and began his plotting early. All in all, His journal showed clear signs of the want and need for friends and attention. Eric was his only friend. Page after page of his journal was filled with despair and pain from the non-existing attention of other students. Leaving him to dwell in his own thoughts.

            When someone is left alone to dwell on his or her thoughts this causes an explosive reaction once it all comes out. As we are all aware, humans can only handle so much before they cannot handle anything at all. Millions of kids are isolated at school, eating alone, and sitting alone. When no one is around to understand them, another person may never know the ideas, and warning signs may not be apparent, or are ignored due to the disrespect of peers.  Students who want to be taken seriously are not, so they lash out in violent ways for respect from peers. In any event, isolation can be a painful experience. No one wants to be left alone with his or her thoughts. Indeed, everyone needs someone.

Throughout history there have been dozens of school shootings in the United States alone. Of all the reasoning behind the shooter, isolation, and social rejection is clearly the number one cause. In most cases the killer himself states he feels alone. Yet, media and family members try to blame it on movies, music, and videogames. These are all irrelevant excuses, when we try to search and find the answers to these tragedies. The truth is always hidden below the agony of the killers. Truly, all four boys were picked on and aggravated through out their lives. None of which were socially accepted at school.

To conclude, we know what causes these shootings, we know students aren’t treated right, that bullying does exist, and kids do get pushed around. Yet, it seems that no matter how many times there is a severe outcome, the problem is never resolved. Consequently, these outbreaks will continue from those who suffer from social rejection, and those left unaided with their thoughts. That is, unless, we can face the reality of what actually causes these shootings; the desperate want for love and acceptance, just like any human being needs.

Works Cited

Blank, Jonah. “The Kid No one Noticed.” U.S. News & World Reprt 4 Oct. 1998: n. pag. Web. 22 Feb 2011.

Dedman, Bill. “Deadly Lessons-School Shooters: Secret Service Findings.” Chicago Sun-Times 15 October 200: 1-17. Web. 22 Feb 2011.

Kidd, Scott. “Similarities of School Shootings in Rural and Small Town Communities.” Similarities of School Shootings in Rural and Small Town Communities. Wright State University, n.d. Web. 22 Feb 2011.

Mendoza, Antonio. “Intermittent Explosive Disorder.” Internet Crimes Archive. Antonio Mendoza, n.d. Web. 18 Feb 2011.

Shepard, Cyn. “4-20-1999 A Columbine Site.” All About Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Cyn Shepard, 21 March 1999. Web. 22 Feb 2011.

Three Dog Night. “One.” Lyrics. Three Dog Night. ABC-Dunhill/MCA Record,1969.

No one no matter how affluent ever obtains all he wants or desires in life. There is usually always a missing element of some sort. There is a disappointment, a feeling of emptiness, a loss of reputation, or an unhappy incident that deeply affects your persona weighing you down. Learn to make frustration your friend in order to effectively deal with this awful feeling and testing situation.

Master your emotions by learning how to deal with rejection. Say to yourself it is okay at times to get rejected. Not everyone will like you and this is fine since you will never be able to please everyone you come into contact with everyday. There will be people you will easily click with and those just will not be able to tolerate especially the ones who have a drastically different point of view to issues and concerns you feel passionate about.

Master your emotions by learning how to handle financial pressure particularly if you are not able to work and suffer with a temporary or terminal disability that prevents you from earning revenue. At this instance you must learn how to deal with not being able to purchase the things you want and at times need. Know that everything normally works out for the best even when there is disappointment involved simply because the earth is not a paradise. There are wars and too many starving people who do not even have a home to live. Count yourself fortunate when you eat a healthy meal and have a warm bed to sleep in with adequate clothing.

When mastering your emotions you must learn how to handle with complacency. When you are feel contentment with your life and all that you posses and have accomplished in terms of family aspirations and work you will turn into a tamer person.   

Most importantly to be someone who s mastering his emotions you must give more than you expect to receive. Be the best parent you can possibly be regardless of what your children turn out to be. Work to the best of your ability. When it is in your power to help someone or a cause put your heart into serving and do not regret the major things you do that affect the people you love.  

Learning to implement these thoughts will cause you to be the key person relaxing when there is a bit of chaos about you.