Everyone wishes to speak to let their views be known and opinions be considered. Its entirely right but what if your silence is far better than speaking.

Silence not for unconcern but for total inclusion and full participation. Did something wrong, mum didn’t like it, she didn’t speak a word, her looks said it all I felt really bad and quickly was remorseful. In a similar situation, she spoke aloud, insulted me and deep within me, I replied and insulted her.

Indeed, her silence was best to make me regret and accept my mistake. Don’t forget, too much of it is bad. Talking at certain times is a nuisance. Too much talking ends you up exaggerating then makes you a liar because both are linked to each other.

To be wise, speak when you genuinely have to, when its right, when its necessary.

Silence can indeed be better than speaking at certain instances.

My name is Octavia Garcia, and I am here to confess that my husband was the worst kind of idealist. He had these huge thoughts that he believed and believed in. He could and would trust you, no matter what dirt you’d committed in your life, as long as you presented him with an idea he could fathom. I always had mixed emotions about that, sometimes I hated him for it. I didn’t understand how a person could be so naive, but at the same time I loved that he was such a trusting person, it is rare that someone just trusts. I used to joke that his endless trust would be the death of him, who knew that for years I foreshadowed into our future.

I saw it. I knew this was coming, I just chose to turn a blind eye. Every now and then Enrique would go into town and come back telling me of the money in America. How every kid goes to school in brand new clothes, no one ever goes hungry because food fills every fridge, and nobody has to borrow money due to endless jobs. He would go on and on about how if he could just make it to Estados Unidos he could take care of me and our children, and how he could be the man his father raised not the person he was now who couldn’t even buy a pinche mochilla for Alexis. Maybe I just didn’t understand the male ego, but I didn’t think of him as any less of a man because he couldn’t give us material things. I could have cared less. Yes we needed and still need, but I would rather have him here standing beside me for Alexis birthday than lost in foreign land alone.

I can’t help but rub my eyes, everything is so bright. I just remember walking and walking until I pleaded with my body for just one more step all I wanted was a backpack and pencils for my son, but my body told me no. I dropped to my knees, once more I begged my body just to stand but I knew I couldn’t. I teetered on my knees for a while, until my bones told me enough of that and I fell over. Lying on my side I look up and see the sky. It’s a bright blue, not a cloud in sight. Just a expanse of endless blue, such pretty blue. I lift my cheek off the steaming cracked ground and stare up at my tormentor. A brighter golden yellow than I’ve ever experienced. I remember sitting out with Alexis watching the sun set, but now it all seems so stupid. How could I think that this was beautiful, the very thing that is going to kill me? I wasn’t raised to be a man full of regret and I have lived this way my entire life but at this moment I just wanna go back. Go back to the morning I left my wife and son. The morning I put on my favorite boots and rode into town. The same morning I broke her heart by leaving. The very morning I signed my life away. If only I could go back and sleep in an extra hour or even fifteen minutes and have woken up not to leave but to eat breakfast with my family. It wouldn’t have been much but it would’ve been better that this. I need to close my eyes just for a second. I close them and I see Octavia and Alexis running around, I can’t help but smile. I feel myself starting to fall asleep, but I know this is no regular sleep. If only it was and I could wake up with Octavia in my arms.

My name is Enrique Landeros Garcia. My name is Reyno Bartolo. My name is Abraham Morales Hernandez. My name is Lorenzo Ortiz Hernandez. We didn’t come here to be movie stars. We didn’t come to corrupt your daughters. We didn’t come to steal your jobs, or money. We came here with the purest of intentions, with no evil thoughts or goals in mind. I wanted to add a roof to my house, he wanted a spare room, and we all wanted to hopefully earn enough money to feed our families.

Once the thought of coming to the United States entered our minds, there was no helping us. From then on out all we could eat, sleep, and breath was how to get to the US. It didn’t help that from the time we were young we heard stories about how everyone there had money, we bought American cigarettes that we smoked in secret, or listened to your pop stars on the radio. We had no idea that on the morning we woke up to come to your country that during our journey our lives would end.

A neighbor comes beating on the door early in the morning, so early that it’s still dark out. I hear shouting. “Octavia Octavia venido aqui.” I rush to the door barely dressed, I see that it’s my cousin Theresa. She tells me of how in town a man called for me saying that they have Enrique’s body. I feel my heart stop, it’s not as if I’m surprised. But I guess some of his idealism rubbed off on me during our time together. I kind of hoped that he would come through the door one day to reclaim his boots. She also tells me how they are sending his body here and how everyone is already talking about the funeral. He’s coming home. He died doing what he thought would help our family, I feel as if I owe him one last favor. My husband is coming home and his boots will be ready.

Some see this as an act of heroism, as others view the man as a cold blooded killer, responsible for the death of three men who’s lives were not destined to be over. Either way, what these rapists have left the poor daughter to deal with is terrible, and she will always have to deal with a virus that could at any point take all that she has left in punishment for inhabiting this cruel world. They did that without regret, without morals, without a drop of remorse, and yet what they were dealed in return is not, by law justified by their actions.

This leaves another uncomfortable predicament; what if those were the wrong guys? Now not only are they not punishable by the death penalty, they may be completely innocent. Until these victims have been found to have raped the daughter of their violent axe murderer in a court of law, these are completely regular people, having done nothing to deserve been hacked into two pieces by an angry daddy.

Reports are yet to be heard of how the father’s court battle is playing out, but as far as I’m concerned, he’s facing three counts of murder and one of attempted murder on the man who escaped. He is also looking at charges for stalking his victims for several days before the event.

Have you ever sat in total bewilderment, mulling over some of the things your significant other, friend or co-worker  has done or said?  Do you find yourself often wondering how they can be so totally oblivious to the pain they cause others or seem so cold and uncaring about what others are going through? It may be that you are involved with a sociopath (or socialized psychopath).  Before you get yourself worked up, I must say that sociopaths are generally not potential mass murderers, but a close professional or personal relationship with a psychopath will likely be damaging to the other individual.

Sociopaths are often difficult to spot because they have learned to mimic feelings and emotions by observing those around them. They have a good idea of how most people will react to a certain situation, so they will react in that manner. Without the advantage of watching others, they would have no idea of how to interact with their fellow human beings.

One of the more obvious characteristics of a sociopath is that they give the impression of talking “at” you and not to you.  You are really not important, and it doesn’t matter if you are interested in what they have to say. They just have the need to unload their vast “knowledge” on someone and you happen to be the most convenient. They are very self-important, and are willing to use and manipulate others to achieve their own selfish goals.  They feel entitled to certain things and have no qualms about lying, cheating or stealing to get those things.  In a sexual relationship, you are treated much like a cardboard cut-out or blow-up doll; you are just an object for their personal gratification and your likes or dislikes matter not at all to them.

The next big tip-off is the sociopath’s inability to emotionally connect with others. Sympathy, empathy, and remorse or regret for mistreatment of others are all lost on the sociopathic individual. He (or she) cannot understand your pain or sadness, and any attempt to display emotion or sympathy will come off as contrived and very unconvincing.  This is especially true when your emotional turmoil comes at a time that is inconvenient for the sociopath. That is to say, your feelings and need for sympathy are interfering with the things the sociopath is trying to accomplish. Typically, the sociopath wants you to feel sorry for him instead, so that he can use it to his advantage.

Since your garden variety sociopath doesn’t spend much time dealing with feelings or relationships (which take up much of a “normal” person’s time), he is often bored and, therefore, needs constant stimulation. He needs to be going somewhere or doing something all the time.  Sometimes this leads to the sociopath taking unnecessary risks in order to garner some excitement in his life. Also, the less time spent being concerned about people and their problems gives the sociopath more time to plot, plan, and scheme about how to get what he wants from his victims.

The sociopath is a natural “taker”. He is never a giver unless, ultimately, the giving results in someone feeling obligated to him. He has no problem leeching off those who care about him. All aspects of life, to the sociopath, are viewed as games to be won at any price.  

To date, there are no real treatment options. Most psychologist agree that therapy makes them worse because they use the therapeutic interactions to learn more about human vulnerabilities they can then exploit. They learn how to manipulate better and they learn better excuses that others will believe. The best advice to date is this:

If you are in a relationship with a sociopath; get out as quickly as possible.  For a list of traits associated with a sociopath, follow this link:

 http://www.cix.co.uk/~klockstone/teleg.htm

©2011 – Andrea J. Shannon

“I cannot believe that you would do such a thing! Does our wedding vows mean nothing to you? All the promises that you would never hurt me are all lies, aren’t they?” screamed Lyna as she paces up and down.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know why I did it.” pleaded her husband.

“You don’t know why? How is it possible that you do not know why you cheat on me? With a girl on the internet half your age? Were you not thinking when you had internet sex with her? Did you hand automatically started screwing yourself with your knowledge?!” screamed Lyna with tears filling up her eyes.

“I’m sorry, I really am,” pleaded her husband as he tries to comfort her.

“Don’t touch me with your disgusting hands, you pervert! Just leave me alone. I hate you!” shouted Lyna at his face and stormed off.

“Why is this happening to me? Am i not a good wife? Am i hideous? I sacrificed everything for him; my family, my home, my friends, my country, myself…”Lyna kept questioning herself, crying and sobbing.

“Lyna! Watch out!” screamed her husband.

“Wha-”

B-e-e-p!

To read the full article, please go to the author’s website.  This article has been moved do to copyright concerns.

You will have to get rid of your pride. If you are too proud and think you are too manly to say you are sorry, you will not bother to do it.

It is important to get into the habit of doing it regularly. As they say, “Practice makes perfect.”

You must develop your ability to genuinely feel remorse. Without it, any act of contrition is hollow and meaningless.

Are you familiar with the phrase that goes, “Timing is everything”? It is imperative to pick the right time to express regret. Sometimes, you should do it on the spot. Other times, it is best to wait until later to do it in order to give the other person time to blow off steam and accept what you have to say.

If you have the opportunity, you should make an attempt to have someone who was on the receiving end of a sin you committed meet you. This can be a powerful way to satisfy both of you while helping your victim feel a sense of closure.

You must accept apologies from those who do something wrong to you. If you do not, how can you expect to be able to convince others to forgive you for your sins?

Once you apologize, you must never make a particular transgression again. Otherwise, you are wasting your time and ruining your credibility.

You must never brag about something you have done or wait for someone to prod you to repent. If you do, you will have a hard time convincing someone you mean it if you decide to seek his or her blessing later.

Avoid smirking, buying expensive gifts and having insincerity in your voice while trying to make it up to someone. If you do, you will be more convincing.

You must eliminate your fear. Keep in mind it is not the end of the world if someone does not accept your apology; besides, the sooner you get it over with, the better.

Do what you have learned to master the art of apologizing!

Image via Wikipedia

Forgiveness is a topic that comes to face most people at least once in a while. It’s difficult to say towards which end of the problem we face most often. To forgive or be forgiven? Both are preferable to one alone, but we spend much more time wanting to be forgiven by those who have gone over us. And we want it in particular ways; with deep humility and true regret. Although few may admit to it, the fantasy of being ‘properly’ asked for forgiveness might occupy as much subconscious real-estate as the revenge fantasies we indulge in during our weaker moments. Yet, I find myself spending time these days wording if people can forgive at all. Can we forgive?

A big principal of 12 step recovery is admittance of your various wrongdoings and undertaking amends to correct them. This is approached with great caution, and should not be done if the amendment were to harm somebody else. It has been said that this is done for the purposes of “one’s own sanity”; a type of exorcism of toxic guilt one may or may not know they retain. But outside of recovery meetings, the topic of forgiveness is rarely breached. If you are a churchgoer, you are reminded that the divine forgiveness of God can only be obtained through devotion to God’s will, or some other variation of that adage. Children are often taught how to apologize by their parents. Some cultures place more importance on it than others (in Japan, people are expected to make relatively large, public displays when they apologize).  

To set a goal of “forgiving” someone is akin to setting a goal of “losing weight”. You lose weight by: A. Changing what you eat and B. Increasing your amount of activity. And how you do these 2 things can greatly differ among many diverse schools of thought. How many different forms of exercise can you think of? Or different types of diets? As many people can tell you themselves, finding the way is not as difficulty as sticking to the road. Forgiveness is similar to losing weight, you can forgive with: A. Words and/or B. Actions. But how you do it, and how often you can maintain discipline to these 2 principals, will greatly determine the amount of success you achieve.

Years ago, I read an article (I forgot who wrote it) that stated that forgiveness is a choice we make, and that in order to forgive we must simply do so. This is to say, you may be mad, upset or hurt by the one who has wronged you, and you may hold on to these feelings for a very long time, but you can also simultaneously forgive them if you choose to. You may have to have a serious amount of stamina to sustain a forgiving attitude depending on how much you have been wronged.

It sounds easy enough. You forget nothing, you just forgive.

Forgiveness is not for you; not something you do to “feel better”. When you forgive someone else, you cannot sit back and wait to reap the rewards of a clean mental slate. Well, you could wait to get the results, but they would be false comforts. If you forgive someone because you think they’re a jerk or fool and forgiving them makes you the better person, all you have done is insisted upon gaining the upper hand. In other words, the forgiveness you have granted only sustains the belief that you are less than someone else by trying to rise above them. So again, forgiveness is not undertaken for you to unburden yourself.

Forgiveness is a momentary point in time, not a permanent state of refuge from harm or pain. In fact forgiveness can make a person feel worse in the short term. To forgive is to admit you were duped, bamboozled. Our ego doesn’t like to do that (if we honestly admit we got fooled or victimized, it hurts). Pride is what holds a grudge. But such pride (or shame) is human nature.

So remove your ego and go for forgiveness? Should or can you forgive another? In this respect, forgiveness may be like a Zen koan. Its dialectic is irresolvable and paradoxical. The reason to forgive someone is to make yourself peaceful and unstuck from the past, but if you forgive another for selfish reasons the forgiveness is not genuine.

On my good days I can forgive other people. On my bad days there are no such compromise.

I wonder if I can ever know how much I may have hurt other people, or if I truly want to know. Sometimes I forget the street runs both ways.

I’m thinking about this topic because I feel it’s significant, and I am trying to apply it to my own life at the moment. I wonder if I can forgive some people I have known. Sometimes it seems I can, other times it seems impossible. But perhaps that’s what forgiveness is; a struggle to transcend a selfish state and understand other people and their limitations by confronting your own.

Forgiveness is not necessary or always the ‘right thing’ to do. On the contrary, if you’re not prepared to forgive someone and try to, it’s like trying to learn to swim by practicing in a lake on a moonless night. The right idea, the wrong time to do it. Think long and hard about who you wish to forgive and why, enlist advice or support from other people if you can. But do try it. Don’t become frustrated if you see no progress right away, or if you don’t hear what you want to hear. Forgiveness seems a practice of an act, and not a single act itself.

“I had a hell of a time, all right. I came home and killed my family.” He murdered his fiancée and his two toddler children. He kept forgetting that he had killed Portia that same night, though he seemed to admire her. “She fought like a demon,” he said. “That woman didn’t want to go.”

He killed Portia because he didn’t want to pay her and didn’t want her pimp banging on his door later, looking for money. He couldn’t figure out what to do with Portia’s body, so he stowed it under his bed.

Later that day, he killed Emily, his fiancée. Alan described the murder as if it were a scene from an opera, and he was the lead tenor. As he strangled her, she mouthed, “I love you” and died. Later, he murdered his son and daughter because he didn’t want them to be orphans. He figured he’d go to prison for life. He was right.

Alan is serving four life sentences without parole. The judge rejected his plea for leniency. His grounds were diminished capacity because of drug-induced psychosis. He listed the drugs he took that night.

“I got like forty pink crosses. I got a dime of dust, or maybe a dime and a nickel. I got two or three, four hits of acid, that green pyramid acid.” He also went from bar to bar, drinking all the way.

Alan enjoys talking about himself, but it can be hard to tell when he’s running a con. At times he appears amused. He chuckled when he described the death of Portia and grinned when he said he had a hell of a time that last night out.

I interviewed Alan in prison. A widower, Alan may have murdered his wife, the mother of his children, but the police were never abe to prove it. 

In a mordant, humorous tone, explained why his kids would have been orphans. His wife had died a year earlier. He described the discovery of her skeleton in a lime pit. A hunter at first thought they were deer bones until he saw the fingernails painted red. No one was ever charged in that murder.

He put an ironic twist to his rationale for killing his toddler children Libby and Danny, who were taking an afternoon nap while he was in his bedroom with Emily. With Emily dead on his bed and Portia dead under it, he looked in on his children. They were still sleeping. “That was a signal from God to kill the kids because the kids would never take a nap until five o’clock,” he said.

“God must have kept them asleep. They don’t sleep until five o’clock. This was a clear sign to me from God to go ahead and kill the kids. I mean I had the okay from God to do it. I had the okay from God to do it.”

Like other violent criminals, Alan detached from what he was doing. “I went in and, ah, God, the kids were sleeping,” he said. “I’m kind of keeping myself detached from this because if I don’t I can’t [He didn't finish his sentence.]. I strangled Libby. She struggled a little bit in the bed. I didn’t really look at her. She was sleeping.

“I don’t think I could’ve killed the kids if they hadn’t been asleep. I moved over, and I strangled Danny. Then I was, I was, man, I was gone.”

To Alan, the murder of his children was for their own good. “With all my delusion and drugged up thinking I thought they’d be better off dead,” he said. He didn’t want the kids to be adrift in the child care system. “Their dad is a murderer. What’s going to happen to the kids? They’re going to end up in a juvenile home. There was no turning back. How will they live and who will take care of them?

“I can’t provide for their future. I don’t want them to be miserable. I don’t want them to be bopped around from foster homes or the county this or that or be abused and separated. What will the outcome of the kids be?”

Alan showed remorse. He cried, choked, and sighed when he described his murders of the children and of his fiancée Emily. Of Emily, he said “Here’s a twenty-one year-old girl who was very bright and would’ve made something out of her life. She ended up with a psycho and ended up dead.”

Emily had moved out a few weeks before and had visited that afternoon. After they made love, Emily wanted to leave to go to work.

Alan was sure she was leaving for good. “At that moment I could not be alone,” he said. “I thought I was losing her. It’s the end of the world. If she’s not going to be with me, if I’m going to lose Emily, and if the kids are going to go through this again, then we’re all going to die because I can’t handle it.” [He said he didn't want his kids to lose another mother figure. "It was hard enough for them to lose their mother."]

Alan thought he cried while he killed Emily. “She was still the most beautiful woman in the world. I just love her more than anything, and I’m killing her on the bedroom floor.”

As he thought about this scene he said, “That’s some really twisted stuff, but I can get pretty twisted.” He didn’t think he could ever make up for what he did. “I can’t attempt to pay that back. I owe for taking four lives. I can’t make that up. I can’t even attempt to try to make that up. It’s beyond making up.” Alan believes, “There’s nothing they can do to punish me.”

He thought of how to get some meaning and self-respect into his life. He sometimes threatened to kill a man, any man, to show that he is not a punk who only kills women and children. Other times, he was more mellow and yearned for a purpose.

“Somehow I want to help people. Right now it’s kind of a goal that I want to help some younger people. Do something positive. Maybe I have grandiose ideas or something. If I could get some education and get myself together, I’d be okay with making some tapes or something [He paused for a few seconds.] just to help some people out, help some younger guys out and shit.”

Alan would rather con people than steal from them. He takes pride in letting others know that he sold only the best dope when he was on the streets. He told a young woman who wrote him love letters to find someone on the outside.

Women wrote to Alan in prison. They may have seen pictures of him in newspapers. He looks like a young Leonardo DiCaprio. He worries about what people on the outside think of him. “Society doesn’t see a whole human. They see an animal,” he said. “Actually, I’m just a part-time animal.”

Alan tells the story of what he did after the murders. He dressed Libby and Danny in their Sunday best and laid them out on the bed next to his dead fiancée Emily. He left Portia under the bed. He set the family Bible between the two children.

As he was about to leave the house, he spotted the children’s teddy bears. He laid them on the top of his clothes in his duffel bag and drove south from his home west of Pittsburgh. It was a harsh February morning. Alan was confident the bodies would not smell for days because he had turned the thermostat down low. Just outside of Nashville, he called his mother. “The cops are looking for you, son,” she said. “Turn yourself in.”

Alan didn’t want to do that. “I’m in a zone,” he said. “I’m drinking whiskey and smoking pot and stuff.” He kept heading south and ran out of gas in Miami. He had no money.
,
“I get that daily labor thing. I’m working there. I’m staying at this hotel. Going down to this bar every day and working nights. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, really. I make a phone call. My mom’s phone number’s changed. Got a hold of my grandmother or somebody.

“I got my mother’s number and talked to her a little bit. I decided to head back home and turn myself in. I figured I’d just come back and just walk in the cop shop.” He chuckled.

He made it as far as a small town just outside of Savannah. “I’m completely broke, and I’m not wanting to do crime. I don’t want to hurt anybody. I don’t want to draw attention to myself. I hear about this bar is opening.

“I go to this bar, and I called Lieutenant Markus. He’s head of homicide in my hometown. I’m at a grand opening of this bar. I told him, ‘I’m out tonight. I’ll get with you tomorrow and turn myself in.’”

Alan hustled drinks all night and met a woman. “I couldn’t get a hard on,” he said. “I’m taking all this speed. I didn’t want to screw her anyway. We messed around for a minute. I left.” He sat in someone’s car and smoked pot with people he’d just met in the bar. The car’s owner put a stash of pot in the glove box, and they all went back to the bar.

“Later, Alan said, “F**k it,” and popped the car’s lock with a coat hanger he got from the bar’s coat room, grabbed the reefer, and zoomed off into the night.

In the morning, he had breakfast at a pancake house. He ordered a cheeseburger and fries. The place was loaded with cops. “This is the cop eating place,” he said. “Cop cars, unmarked cop cars, the whole damn restaurant’s loaded with cops.

“I got my duffel bag. I throw it behind a floor plant in the corner. It was an hibiscus, I think. In bloom. There’s no back door. That’s fine. I order up this meal. I eat some of it. I go in the back. I call my uncle. I’m talking to my uncle and my grandma.

“I call this Lieutenant Markus. I called his home. His wife answered. She knew who I was. I talked to him. I told him where I was. His old Army buddy or maybe Navy or somebody is the chief of homicide not too far away. He says he’s going to have him come and pick me up.”

The lieutenant assured Alan there wouldn’t be anything stupid. No foul play. “Fine,” Alan said. “This is where I’m at. Come get me.” He waited. He talked on the phone to his mother, his uncle, and his grandmother.

“I’m waiting,” he said. “Man, I’m waiting. I’m waiting. I go back in the bathroom. I had this little bit of this reefer left. I had a couple of joints and stuff. Strange how you do things. Cops are coming to pick me up for four f**king homicides.

“I finish the pot I had. I threw my pot pipe in the garbage and stuff because, hey, I didn’t want them to bust me with pot.”

Finally the cops got there. “I was ready to leave,” Alan said. “I was ready to say, ‘F**k it.’ I didn’t have the money to pay for the meal, and this place is loaded with cops. I was getting tired of waiting for them.

“Well, they showed up. They came in. They came back. I’m back there on the phone. They frisk me. They take me out, pay for the meal, and grab my duffel bag. All these cops in the restaurant are really looking then. They take me to the county jail for a couple days. I waived extradition. That was that.” Alan’s mother has the teddy bears.

Alan has had time to reflect on the murders and the consequences. He realized that he could’ve taken a 12-year prison term for the killing of Portia on what he thought would have been a manslaughter charge. If he had stopped there, the children and Emily would have had a life. Emily might even have raised them.

“I’d rather have the kids alive and Emily alive even if they were disconnected from my life,” he said.

Alan thought he was an intelligent person and not a moron. “I see more morons doing time than intelligent people. Of course most intelligent people don’t put themselves in prison.”

Alan summed up his life. “I just have to step back with a pompous amount of pride and say, God, with all things considered. I turned out pretty well, other than that bad weekend. I mean that was really f**ked up, killing your family, but other than that one incident [He thought for a few seconds.] I don’t know, I seem to be not too bad off.”

However, in certain cases, a person’s regret could get worse to the point that it develops a very unsettled feeling; indecisiveness and even makes a person lose his or her self-confidence over everything else. In this world, there are certain people who can regret things easily and vice versa, depending on their attitude and perspective over things.

People who are easily attacked by this so-called “regretful disease” should make an effort to reduce his/her regretful feeling since it can be treacherous to their own self-esteem. Avoid making yourself feel worse day by day by the wrong actions that you have made or the wrong things you have said to someone. Below are some ways you can use:

Find a Hobby

In fact, there are several ways and methods claimed to be useful in getting rid of that regretful feeling within ourselves. One of it is by finding a hobby, especially for those who does not seem to have one in all of his/her life. Look for something that you enjoy doing so much and do it! If you truly love your new hobby, you will find yourself thinking less and less of the things that led you to regrets and in time, you will forget about it.

Reading

It may not be the prominent hobby or the favorite pastimes for many people, but some people find reading as the best way of forgetting their feelings of regret. Therefore, you do not have to be a book lover to use this method but it will be more efficient if you happen to love reading a lot. First, it is important to find a reading material that catches your interest well enough. It will be even better if it is something that can arouse your senses and somewhat makes you happy. It can be a fiction, non-fiction, motivational or even comics. If all these criteria are fixed in, you will probably find yourself too absorb with the book of what seems like you are being transported to another realm (of the book). You would not even have the time to think of any regrets no more! Another word; do not read anything close to what had caused you your feelings of regret. It will just make things worse.

Exercising

You name it; exercise is good for many things! It is for your health, it can help you reduce your stress level and you will be even more surprised to know that exercising can help you forget your regrets. However, it is advisable that you play sports in groups or with friends accompanying you. It will make your exercise scheme much more enjoyable and fun. There you go killing two birds with one throw: a body that stays fit, and a mind with no more regrets.

Listen to Music and Start Dancing

Find music that keep you on the vibe, and a mind filled with lively thoughts to get over those feelings of regrets that you have. Combining the power of music and exercising, you will find yourself too occupied to think of your regrets. It will be even better if you love music and dances. Try looking for songs with moderate to fast tempo because slow songs can bring back memories – bad news!

Watch a Movie

Personally, this is one of my favorite methods, since I am a movie freak. If you happen to be one too, you will find watching movies can let those regrets slip off your thoughts. Been there and done so, and it definitely works. This is because when you are watching a movie, you will somehow be in a different mindset. You will think of the plots of the movies, remembering the characters and assessing the flow, therefore, no room to think of anything else. Watching movies require great attention. Even if you might find yourself astray sometimes during the movie, then you would have to force yourself to be back on track. Self-control is always the key. It is another sign that the movie you are watching bored yourself out, so change that DVD!

Write a Diary

Do you feel like getting it all off the chest? Perhaps writing a diary is the best way. What Jones did was to dot everything that she felt (and I meant everything) on the sheets, and that had given her ways to survive through her days. Sometimes, a person may find it difficult to talk to others about their problems and regrets, so the best way for them to let it go is by mere writing. It will help you to reduce the feelings of regret and guilt. The only risk is that you might get someone reading your diary in secret if you do not keep it in the safest place.

Whatever methods there are to shake off feelings of regret, it is still something that is much easier said than done, especially it concern things that are big and important in a person’s life. All the same, that should not be the reason to stay burden with the thoughts that eventually leads you to other unhealthy settings, such as extreme depression. Nobody should sacrifice his or her life to regrets; rather, it should be treated as a turning point towards something that is even better in life.