However she had a really bad sexual experience at 12, when her 18 year-old brother grabbed her breasts, leered at her young body all the time. Not only that but he actually made her into sexual touching situations with him four times before the poor tearfully told her mother of this horror, who promptly put a stop to the young man’s behaviour, though naturally too late.

The poor girl found out art this time that her father, like most Pakistani men, hated having an unwanted daughter,  only wanting baby boys.  This left her feeling useless and unwanted, but she had behaved herself  before this bombshell dropped, after which she promised herself not  to  be good anymore and started to socialize with bad company in the shape of other girls and  guys always talking about sex. A classmate told her that she should date one guy in particular.

She  was 15 and  went to his home, where they smooched very sensually and provocatively without actually having intercourse, after which the girl went home and wept about why she had behaved that way, deciding to curb such behaviour, but sexual desires woke up again within her and she was soon seducing her long distance cousin, then a guy in her class, but she was making a name for herself that certainly did not want or need at her age.

This unfortunate girl never made even one childhood friend, and she often cried bitter tears because she truly wanted at least one true one, but never managed it. She found her class-mates bitchy, mean and nasty because their encouragement was what led her to behave badly in the first place, as she sees it.  These same peer people threatened to tell all to her mother, and her 21 year-old paternal uncle started to black mail her.

Telling her he knew her secrets, he promised he would help the girl if she would be nice to him, beginning to kiss not just her mouth but her whole body, grabbing her breast and forcing himself upon her.  She cried a great deal, but her feelings of worthlessness got worse, because she was convinced her parents regarded her not as a blessing but a burden, being a girl, and she sought sexual solace in the incestuous arms of her brother – and sleeping with a long-distance cousin, despite not knowing him at all.

She let herself become the bad girl to the extent that even her mother was calling her a whore. Men all say that she is just bad without knowing her real story at all, and she believes that all that ever happens is that people take what they want from her then toss her to one side like so much garbage, enjoying the knowledge of how much they are hurting her. She has no love in her life, so spends all her time weeping and writing poetry that she posts on triond.

All this truly unfortunate girl ever wants is to be loved, but her heart is a dead thing, so her writing is
her way of spitting out the venom within her and getting relief, hoping one day to find love. Right now she mainly feels both numb and dumb, not enjoying her studies, or wanting to I go outside of her home to avoid having to converse with other people. She has always had too great a tendency to
trust every one, but having been hurt so often by those she trusted, she these days takes some perverse pleasure from the pain, which is no longer as bad as it once was.

Her truly awful luck continued in 2011, when she met a Pakistani guy online who was studyng  in Birmingham ,UK, to whom she made a full confession, and was amazed to hear that he was prepared to come over to marry her, take her back and make her happy. He promised not to let her cry alone and that they could chat all the time   It turned out of course that his real interest was nothing more than sex-chat, which the girl eventually worked out for herself.

This poor girl says she has now had thousand of guys in her life – an exaggeration of course – who all seemed to loved her body but nothing more, nobody ever loving her for the person that she is. She went through that phase of loving parties, meeting new people, taking trips, and eating out a lot, but now she hates everything, even herself and her body, loving her heart and feeling so guilty for having broken it and destroyed all feelings.

She has a million reasons to cry, at one point suffering from dehydration problems because she  left her meals and even avoided liquids, crying and sobbing, skipping  meals and I getting sick, though happily she is now on the mend, slowly getting a little better. She was so depressed at one stage that she seriously considered suicide but, thankfully her religion forbids such actions.  She has now embraced her god, whom she worships and prays to for forgiveness.

This talented girl young female poet and her sad story should not be any reason for her to be consigned to the rubbish heap of life just because she made mistakes.  She deserves some happiness and to find one day that someone genuinely  loves her for herself me and will marry her, giving her the secure future she surely deserves.  

That kiss never was just a kiss, historically, and those doing it, when they actually make lip contact, are actually taking part in what truly is one of the most bizarre and unlikely of human activities imaginable, because, according to experts, it has nothing to do with sex..

Kissing, it appears, actually evolved from the ancient practice of human animals sniffing at one another, because that was how people learned things about one another in times past. It is thought that, maybe at some point, humans sniffing each other out slipped and ended up touching lips.

Vaughn Bryant, Texas A&M University anthropologist and an authority on how human kissing evolved, pointed out that during early human history, relationships depended on smell, used to determine mood, health and social status of the person being greeted.

Sniff greetings were commonplace, those involved brushing noses across faces, sniffing at the scent glands, which over time became a brushing of the lips, the way in which this form of social greeting came about.

The Indian sub-continent is where kissing became seen as a romantic form of expression, around 1000BC, when epic poem the Mahabharata included the  first descriptions of romantic kissing on record. It is thought that romantic kissing was unknown elsewhere in the world at that time,

For the Greeks, kissing was how men communicated status, rank, and loyalty among themselves, an expression of social hierarchy, in a way. Lip contact is mentioned, as a form of supplication, not romance, in Homer’s Odyssey.  Where social equals would kiss the mouth, servants, and slaves kissed cheeks, hands, feet, or even the hem of the robe, a practice that continued into the 18th century.

What Romans called the soul kiss is today referred to as the French kiss, though Emperor Tiberius did attempt to ban kissing in case it was a way of spreading leprosy, but his Roman people ignored him. Oddly enough, early Christians were anti-kissing and several popes tried over the years to ban romantic kissing, Pope Clement V decreeing that kissing done with the intent to fornicate was to be considered a mortal sin In 1312.

It was European missionaries who introduced kissing, in the 19th century, to Africa, Asia and Oceania, as well as the word of God to many indigenous populations. The Japanese thought kissing to be offensive and film scenes in which it featured were carefully deleted from movies shown after WWII in occupied Japan.

It is clear from historical data that, in terms of human evolution, the kiss is a relatively new phenomenon, never originally intended to be a conveyor of emotion. Whatever the reasons for it actually coming into being, the kiss never really was just a kiss, but the meanings to it have been so many and varied that it has blurred somewhat over time, but is still nonetheless a great experience when there is passion behind it.

Running a bubble bath, candlelite dinners, picnics or romantic evenings can be done just because. Cuddling on the couch, watching a game together, lifetime movies or walks in the evening can be done randomly not just on a holiday.

Romance is just that..Romance. Little things that tell your partner and make them feel you love them, you appreciate them and respect them. Not because they do certain things, but because they who they are in your life.

When you show your partner you appreciate them and not take them for granted on a daily basis that is a feeling no one can replace. That makes them want to come home and be where they know they are safe and loved.

So romance your partner everyday…Not just on Valentines Day. Make Valentines day a day that lasts all year long. 

Put in 100% not 50%. Give it your all and you will be surprised at the return. So let’s try this ALL YEAR LONG!!!!!!!

How to make love to a woman

Romantically and Patiently.
Take the time to make love to her mind
Fulfill all of her midnight wishes
Cover her entire body with soft wet kisses.
Tell her, so that she will know!
There is no place on her body your tongue won`t go.
And when you love a woman, you love her real slow.

How do you make love to a woman,
Passionately and Sincerely,
Let her Sweetness become your Weakness
Do not use just the %#&@$!(NEVER); But include your ear
Listen to the sweet sound of her moans and see what you hear.
Feel the warmth and care of her loving embrace
Place your mouth on hers and savor the taste.

How do you make love to a woman,
Sensually and Honestly
Say what you mean and mean what you say
Tell her that you love her, more and more with each passing day
Let all of the fantasies that dance in her head
Become her moonlight reality when it`s time to go to bed.
Kiss and lick all over her body until you find all her right spots
Touch and caress her soft skin and make her real hot
Mutual satisfaction is a lover`s plan
Love her, cause you are in love with her. She`s your woman and you are her man.

How do you make love to a woman?
Lovinly and Completely:
Love her until her Screams of Passion are all that you hear
*bleep* on her neck and stick your tongue in her ear
Hold her soft round breast in the palm of your hands
Let her sexual wishes become your loving commands.
Love your woman with your MIND,BODY, AND SOUL.
She`s the most precious gift on the Earth.
She`s worth her weight in gold.

How do you make love to a Woman?
There’s only one true way to start
To make love to a Woman, just give her your heart……

How to make love to a man

You let a man know you need him…
You let a man know you want him

You ask his opinion
We don’t know it all

You kiss him for no reason
Let him know he is desired

You laugh with him
Let him know he is the reason you smile

You have no barriers in sex
Adventure keeps the passion alive

You adore him
You write lil notes and sneak your panties in his pocket

You respect him
You never demean him alone or in front of others

You compliment him
He was handsome when you met him, now he is fine as hell

He is your protector
You trust him enough to know he would never let harm come your way 

Let him know you desire him
Initiate sex, it is not “job”, Small touches, kisses and soft words that bury themselves in his heart

Let him know you crave him
Dress for him, wear sexy panties or none at all, put on those heels and run a soothing bubble bath for 2

Let your man tell his hopes and dreams
It is fun to imagine and extraordinary if it is achieved

Let him reach for the stars
Be his cloud if he should fall

Let your man be who he is
After all that is who you fell in love with

How you say things, who you are saying them to and how you want a person to hear what you are saying. There are certain words that hold a certain meaning no matter how you try to sugar coat it, it doesn’t change the meaning of the word.

Allow…..Permit……

In a relationship there are two people. My husband and I talked about these words last night and about a post I read yesterday. You see we are a team. We work together. We discuss our plans, we decide how to do things and we compromise if we see things differently.

That is why they took out the word obey in the vows. There is no need for another adult to lead another. It is two grown people in a relationship.

We don’t allow or permit one another to do things. Those are controlling words, no matter how you sugar coat them. You see them on street signs. You are allowed to park for 2 hours, You are permitted to park in the green to unload. 

We don’t need permission to do things in a relationship, both are adults. You give kids permission. You allow kids to do things. Employers give permission and so forth.

In a relationship why should your partner permit or allow another adult to do anything? Adults know what their limitations already are. If they don’t then they don’t respect your relationship.

If you have to set guidelines, rules and barriers maybe you picked the wrong person. Maybe you don’t have the same values and morals.

When we give advice to others regarding marriage or relationships we should always be careful of the words, especially women. We can’t say something one way then pounce on a man for saying something the same way except using the word woman instead of man.

I recently saw a post about how to change a man into prince charming. Oh the women were all on it. But if the post were about changing a woman into a princess and what a man wanted the women would have a fit. So women have to be fair about language..words……

So yes language…words is everything…You cant play word games…..So I dont like the words permission or allow in a relationship nor does my husband, that is our preference.

So in a relationship …..

If you have to give Permission or get permission to do something

If you have to allow them to do something or be allowed to do something

Maybe just maybe…..Hmmmmm….My personal feeling is if I was in a relationship like that…I would feel like I never left home. I would still be under my parents control.

We see people that just think they deserve to show disrespect to people for no apparent reason then to do it. What’s so shocking is the parents that doesn’t try to correct the problem? But if they never taught it then we can’t expect them to solve it?

Some people lives under the impression that they dictate things to get things in life. What we all have learn about respect? It’s earned and sometimes never given because you think it’s the art. Many executives and managers demands and find that demand isn’t met many times.

We have people that will tell you to your face that they will never say “Thank You” or “Yes Sir” because of the color of the person. And listen, it’s within no one race that you will hear this statement.

We read where many people get shot, killed for disrespecting that person? So, obviously they took the art of manners, as a respectful tool in life. Many of us only know respect. So when we see others being disrespectful to others. We question that constantly because it’s the easiest thing to teach a child.

But it takes responsible people to pass this skill down to others. The military teaches it to soldiers. But with many of us it just apart of us that stays forever within us. Our parents doesn’t have to correct us. WE KNOW.

Some people are also of the view point that respect should not be made a part of war for any one gender. Men and Women should respect each others equally and it should be expressed at every event. Women expect hearing truth from men. They like men who take active part in the life’s struggle. Vinkas suggested four steps of moral ethics in view of today’s age that can be implemented 1) Take initiative in opening the door for any women 2) Keep standing until a woman takes her seat 3) Whenever you go with a woman for outdoor meal pay the bill 4) While traveling in a public transport, give your seat to a woman.

In the modern age, majority of men do not express moral ethics due to the fear of cheating. Ponam Singh of American College Dubai opines that ethics grow with different cultures and their expression can be seen in crises as well. On 14th April 1914, when Titanic was sinking in the sea, why it was decided taking women and children first in a life boat away from the ship. Reality is that even in severe crises nobody forgets expressing morals.

However, the meanings of ethics have changed with the time now. Now, paying other’s bill, opening door for somebody, giving your seat to anybody and helping any injured person also come under ethics. In societies, where men and women both play their roles in the life’ struggle, pay attention to the mutual respect equally in the society, In Asian countries these values are found comparatively more.

Katty Foster has been associated with the public relation’s field for the last 25 years. She met her husband after 20 years of separation. The attitude of her husband didn’t change during these years. Mrs. Foster says that respect and ethics are such codes of conduct that enables a noble person passing a better life.

Good manners and ethics are correlated in many people with their DNA also. They do not think much before doing any good work. They keep true respect for others in their heart. Katty Foster says that in spite of living away for the long time, we both give respect to each other very much in any dinner party or amusement site.

Foster says, “I am unable to understand why people do not follow code of conduct? Why do you not think any good for a person who sweeps roads or safe your shoes from going dirty?”

Mrs. Foster says, “My husband respects me and when he cares me without limits I start thinking myself as a queen. The expression of respect from man for women is actually a way of giving honor to a woman.”

Sticka Maria works as a therapy practitioner. In her opinion the respect and honor emotions mostly relates to men. For some people, it is also a matter of ego and prestige that they would open door for some women or offer them theirs seat.

Some people never feel shy even after committing a fault while some others ask pardon immediately. Such a person learns much from his faults and stands up at the top level of ethics.

By Muhammad Irfan Zafar

Content Writer

Now what does this tell you about the person you’ve just met? 

Generally speaking, for the first one:

• If the stranger is female and you’re female as well then it’s either she’s a very sexual person and wants you to share your experiences OR she’s a lesbian.
• If the stranger is male then of course he’s interested in the woman he’s talking to or he’s gay if he’s talking to a guy (or maybe he just wants to brag about his escapades).

For the second one:

• It shows that they are interested in who you are and not how sexually active you are.

I just don’t get it when people who just a few minutes ago were strangers suddenly ask you about your love/sex life when you aren’t even friends yet. The only thing i can think of is that they are more attuned to their bodies and material things than they are to their minds or spirit.

Call me old-fashioned or conservative but my sexual life is not for public consumption. I don’t share it around to people i just met who aren’t even my friends yet. I don’t even share that much to my friends because it’s my body, it’s my life and they don’t need to know what i do with my body. 

I mean if you want to know more about someone, it doesn’t need to start with their sexuality unless that person is also open to talking about such and broached the subject first. And don’t put the person on the spot in a group later on by asking him or her about it in front of everyone just because you couldn’t ask him/her personally.

Like srsly people? Hello? Not everyone is as liberated as you would think. Bear in mind that there are people who are stilll conservative and not comfortable talking about private stuff like their sex lives especially to people they just met a day or two or even a week ago. Just because you or they are now in a new place/environment doesn’t mean you have to know how sexual they are. What they do with their partners (or what their relationship status is) is initially none of your business. 

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Back in medieval Japan, the day of the Samurai…if you failed or were dishonored somehow, you were required to commit Seppuku, or ritual suicide. It was the only way to regain your honor before you died. In the Japanese medieval times, honor equaled your life. In those times, a female’s honor was not as important as a man’s. It was not uncommon for a woman to get raped without penalty to the man whom inflicted it. The geisha would sell their honor or their virginity to the highest bidder. A female’s honor was no more than their ability to give a man pleasure. Women could be beaten, raped, and savagely murdered and often times get away with it. Whereas a man’s honor was based on his ability to be a man and to save face for their family. In Japan if you refused to serve in the military, shame and dishonor would fall into societal shun.

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Let’s look at western cultured America. “DRAW!” No, really, it was then in society that you could meet your fate at the end of a shoot-out if you dishonored another man by cheating, stealing, beating, or more. Life was lived at the end of gun for notorious criminals like Billy the Kid. You crossed Billy; you’d meet your end at his six shooter. It is notoriously known, that if you played poker and you were caught cheating…your honor as a man would be challenged at the end of a six shooter, the resounding phrase that would echo in your ears before death would be “DRAW!” Followed by the ringing in your ears of the six shooter’s powerful kick and the sting of the opponent’s bullet in your chest!

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Let’s fast forward now to the early 1900’s. It was the dawn of the Chicago Mafia. At first they started as a street gang driven by desire for the money. Then, if eventually began to take over bits and pieces of Chicago. It eventually turned into a turf war which was based off of respect and honor. If you tried to do crime on mafia turf, you dishonored and disrespected the family. You could meet your fate at the end of Al Capone’s Tommy gun. Chicago crime families had begun to fight crime families on a day to day basis. It was a war in the streets of Chicago. One notorious double crossing was the St. Valentine’s Massacre. Al Capone set up another crime family for slaughter, all for the greed of territory and honor. Turf meant honor.

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Let’s take a time warp to present day America. We even have television shows that flash the war of honor before our eyes. The news is riddled with bullets of dead kids, slaughter, and bloodshed. All for what?! Turf wars, honor based wars. Gangs bring little kids in; teach them the life against the law. Little brothers and sisters follow Big Sister and Big Brother into crime as they get gunned down, seeking vengeance and honor back from their sibling’s slaughter. The show Pit bulls and Parolees is a beautiful way to help ex-gang members try to better their lives. Gangland tells of the horrors behind the lines…drugs, weapons, turf, respect, honor, and fear. Chicago people now days face fear in their own homes, walking to their cars, and their kids walking to school. Even school buses have been proven not to be 100% safe for our kids. This nightmare is getting stronger, yet the government claims that crime is dropping. How? How can we sit here and let this continue? Fear of the horror that would be if we stepped in the way of that next bullet.

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Cops are trying their best, but seem to be making minimal damage to stop this war on our streets. It is so bad that you can walk down your street to the grocery store, wearing everyday clothing and suddenly be surrounded by 10+ gang members with guns pointed at you; all because you accidentally wore the wrong colors. You can’t wear your own clothes for fear of getting a gun pulled on you. You fear as you send your kids to school in their clothes, for fear you sent them in the wrong colors. All because the gangs want more turf, their share of the money. In most gangs’ eyes, money = power, turf = honor, crime = respect gained and trust from your family. It is all about proving yourself to the gang, honor within the gang = protection within the gang.

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It is all about honor, even now days war of politics is all about who is the bigger most respected and honored person, group, or nation. Honor rules us, even those who don’t realize it.

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2011 Unpublished work. © by Rebbecca Abernathy.

1.  bearing, conduct, or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation.  

2.  nobility or elevation of character; worthiness: dignity of sentiments.    

Pride: noun  

2.  the state or feeling of being proud.  

3.  a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one’s position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.    

Decency: noun, plural -cies.  

1.  the state or quality of being decent.  

2.  conformity to the recognized standard of propriety, good taste, modesty, etc.    

Compassion: noun  

1.  a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.  

All definitions found @: http://dictionary.reference.com/    

I have dignity because I respect myself.  

I have pride because I am aware of myself and the respect I deserve.  

I have decency because I allow that OTHERS have dignity and pride in themselves.  

I have compassion because I understand that many do NOT and I wish to help them find themselves and their own self worth, self respect, dignity, pride, decency and compassion.  

In this way we can help each other build ourselves better and stronger in order that SOMEDAY we will ALL have dignity, pride, decency and compassion.  

I think then the world will be a better place. 

One-sided relationship is just like a charitable act, where one partner is always desirous of giving for the sake of giving and not expecting anything in return. Though this is a virtuous act and the giver reap its reward in the shape of peace of mind and will also reap rewards in the life hereafter, but in terms of worldly or materialistic gains he receives nothing, whereas the receiver of the benefits proves to be a parasite or detrimental for the other partner. This type of relationship lasts till the giver keeps on giving and the recipient keep on receiving and ends up as soon as the giver stops giving.

Conversely, in a relationship based on mutual basis, both the partners offer service to one another and share their experience. This benefits both on equal basis. There is a difference in serving and having served, and receiving and having received. In a mutual sharing partnership both the parties earns benefits emotionally and psychologically equally.

Both the partners must cooperate with each other in the processes of crafting, putting into practice and evaluating their experiences. They should also be sharing equal authorities so as to implant, safeguard and assess their requirements pertaining to their relationships. In mutual relationship not only focus is laid down equally on both sides for seeing who is benefiting but powers are also shared on mutual basis for implying that focus and determining that both are equally benefiting.

In mutually shared relationship, it is crucial to understand that both parties are providing valuable services to one another on equal basis. There are three important aspects involved in strengthening a mutual relationship.

Firstly, crafting a relationship, this involves mutual sharing of powers and authorities that is required to fulfill one another’s needs and requirements. It is obvious that either side is missing some benefits that must be met by either side. Therefore, crafting a relationship is a process that supports and fulfills the need and requirement of both the parties, simultaneously sharing authorities on equal basis for the purpose of strengthening the relationship.

Secondly they must play the role of giver and taker. Since, both giver and taker shares different benefits from practically involving directly in learning and fulfilling one another’s needs, they are more likely to involve in the process of long lasting relationship. This creates a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment from either side, which serves the purpose of creating strong bondage between two.

Thirdly, is the equal ability of assessing their experiences during the process? This assessment is not based on assessing only from one aspect but reflecting on various aspects of their personalities. It involves questioning and answering honestly to different aspect of a relationship such as “How do think, you contributed in strengthening the relationship process?”, “What do you think is required for improving the relationship?”, “What expectations you think are not fulfilled by your partner?”, “What are your differences?”, “What are your compatibilities?” and “What’s the solution?” etc. These and such issues must be communicated by both the partners for a long lasting relationship.

To sum up, both the partners must enjoy equal levels of authority, cooperate in crafting and making up relationship design, practically play the roles of giver and taker and communicate regularly for meeting the challenges in the relationship if any.

There is no doubt that in actual life it is not always easy to fulfill the requirements of an exemplary mutual sharing relationship, since people are different in abilities, individualities, preferences, mental levels, habits, likes and dislikes, education, childhood environment and many such factors. The authorities are not always estimated equally. In the presence of all such differences why do these unplanned relationships survive, it is only due to the presence of good wishes, mutual love and respect between two parties. In the presence of such attributes, the need of mutual sharing relationship sets aside, but these relationships remains in limits and can be broken anytime due to huge difference in their personalities, whereas mutual sharing relationship can be difficult to understand initially, but it guarantees benefits to both sides and lasts long, since it gives a broader and well-planned perspective of a healthy relationship.

By Muhammad Irfan Zafar

Content Writer