When scientists get together, what do they think of?  Perhaps a challenging theorem that could change life as we know it? Well, if you are among the group of scientists who hail from Canada’s Carleton University and Wesleyan University in the U.S. your time and energy will be spent on determining what urinal a man will use in a public bathroom.

What’s more, their research was published in a “scholarly” journal – they must have been really hard up for something to publish that month.

The Great Urinal Question

The scientists actually came up with a question as to which of several urinals a man would use if he were interested in, not only relieving himself, but maintaining the utmost amount of privacy (privacy such as not having anyone else use the urinal to the right or left – which you would think, if a man really wanted that degree of privacy, would lead him to not use a public restroom in the first place).

And, what great answer did the scientists come to?  Hold your breath here (no pun intended) … the answer is that a man fearful of having anyone get to close to him should choose the urinal farthest away from the door.  And, of course, the researchers said you should choose a urinal that is not next to one that is currently being used.  Would you really need this research to know that?  If you do, maybe you shouldn’t be out alone by yourself.

Women Not Considered

And if you think these scientists are finished with their review of public restrooms, you’d be wrong.  They were apparently so fascinated with the topic that they concluded that “this problem leads to many interesting variations that are worthy of investigating further and we encourage everyone to do more of their thinking while using public restrooms.”  They also observe the obvious when they say they didn’t investigate women’s public restrooms because “women’s rooms contain only water closets which already provide some amount of privacy.”  If you think I’m making this up, I’m really not.

Clearly the academic review process has gone awry here.  Either that or the bathroom privileges for these scientists ought to be immediately revoked.  It’s home only for them from now on.

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You can tell when you LADY has had too much to drink when she:

1. Ignores you. Hangs out with the girls leaving you to fend for yourself.

2. Becomes the center of attention. Dances up a storm at a wedding reception, participates in drinking games, etc.

Image via MorgueFile

3. Starts sitting like a man.

4. Starts to lose clothing – shoes, belt, sweater, etc.

5. Disappears on you.

6. Loses her purse.

7. Starts crying for no apparent reason.

8. Throws up.

9. Falls, trips or knocks things over.

10. Forgets your name or calls you, “John” but your name is “Mike.”

Caution: Be safe. Don’t either of you drive after drinking. Call a cab.

Read more article by Raene Kaleinani

Three Good Reasons that Might Make You Cry

Tween Sexting

What You Should Know Before Moving In with Your Lover

Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice

1. Memorize your speech and practise it regularly. Practise inside your car, while facing the mirror, while showering, while using the rest room. To strengthen your confidence and to surely take the fear away, try practising at a cemetery at night, then run!

2. To take the nervous off you, make the speech about the listeners. Tell them what they’ll gain if they listen to you. Make a connection by asking questions or by eye contact.

3. If someone asks you a question, don’t step back. Instead, step forward. This would make a strong impression. Thus, helping you gain the confidence. Don’t step back for it’ll look like you’re afraid. This would surely make the one who asked think that you’re weird.

4. Plan an escape. Before the actual date of the talk, plan an escape in case if you forget some lines or when you run out of words to say when you answer questions. To conclude your speech, recap some point and don’t forget to thank your audience.

Needless to say, the Mister was furious when I decided to make a big stink out of the unfinished business in the bathroom.  He refused to try to understand what I was saying as I explained to him that he was about to get involved in another project while the one in our bathroom was an eyesore for me.  I finally told him to show me what I needed to use, and I would finish the job myself.  He pouted, his horns grew, and steam blew out of his ears, but he had the project completed within an hour the following day.  He turned an hour project into a two month long project, and he didn’t understand my frustration.  Please, tell me that I’m not alone.  Are there any women out there with a husband like mine?

-The Mrs.

Create a horizontal crease but don’t fold it in half, with the sticky part of the note length-wise at the top.

3) Paste the sticky part of the note so that the paper dangles over the sensor, preventing the toilet from flushing.

There you go! Simple enough.

Happy flushing!

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By Flickr User Carbon NYC

This is one of the weirdest and creepiest signs I’ve ever seen.  I’m hoping that it was supposed to be a rendering of a Dad taking his child to the bathroom in New York.  It does sort of scream out as being a advertisement for Man-Boy Love or something like that though.  And the really weird part is the alien arm.  Who’s arm looks like that?  Is it a tentacle?  What the heck???

By Flickr User bitshaker

This is a sign at the California Adventure park but it still makes very little sense.  Is it the washroom?  Is it the fish gutting room?  What does the men’s bathroom sign look like?

By Flickr User Matt Perreault

Here’s a great example of when vandalism improves a sign.  It’s just a regular bathroom sign for employees of a restaurant but someone’s has cranked it up a notch.  Wash your Hands because “Remember: You are gonna be some zombie’s food!”.  You definitely want to be nice and squeaky clean for those crazy zombies.  I know how much they hate dirty hands!!!  I guess Oregon is full of zombies!

By Flickr User arvindgrover

Here’s another bathroom reminder for employees to clean up after using the facilities.  This restaurant is a little more lax than others though as you only have to have one clean hand.  Maybe it’s Captain Hook’s restaurant.  You’d think they’d also mention keeping your hook clean though.

By Flickr User Cote

People normally just ignore those lame “employee of the month award” posters but this one is unforgettable.  Great job Andrea Perry!!!  I’m not sure this is how I want my hard work to be recognized…  I guess this is what it feels like to be a pee-on.  Sorry, I couldn’t help myself!  At least it turned the tiny airplane bathroom into something funny.

By Flickr User indy138

Here’s a really high tech toilet found in a hotel in Japan.  This one’s not really funny, just very different and cool.  I do like the illustration of the spray function though with the round derriere being sprayed by water.  Not only does it have a spray function, there’s also a bidet, automatic deodorizer and even heated seats!

By Flickr User chadmiller

I understand how paper towel might end up in a toilet but someone’s “undergarment”?  At least the paper towel is garbage after it’s use.  Well, maybe some people’s underwear are garbage after use too — yuck!  I especially like the quizzical expression on the guy’s face that’s reflected in the mirror beside the picture.  It’s like he’s really pondering the meaning of the sign.

By Flickr User arvindgrover

Ever feel like someone’s watching you and judging you?  This urinal stall in Korea might make some a little bit uncomfortable.  At least it has the little walls on the side to keep other bathroom users from view.  I never really understood why men’s urinals are just lined up along the wall in open view of everyone else.  It’s like a horse trough or something.  I’d definitely get performance anxiety.  And if you thought this one was bad, check out the shot below…

By Flickr User joeltelling

This doesn’t even have the tiny privacy walls.  Hysterically funny.  I’m not sure if these women are impressed or disgusted.  The one at the far end with the binoculars probably doesn’t get used that much.  Maybe these pics are there to get the “users” to be more tidy when using the facilities?  You know how fussy New Yorkers can be!

By Flickr User gruntzooki

OMG, maybe this bathroom needs some judgemental pictures posted above the toilet as well!  How bad would it have to be before you’d post the sign and then underline all the words with a fluorescent hi-liter?  Maybe it’s a house full of teenage boys!

By Flickr User Hobbes vs Boyle’s

This seems like a pretty normal bathroom until you look closely at the sign.  Occupancy by more than 918 persons is dangerous and unlawful.  Just how big is this bathroom?  I’d definitely be afraid of getting lost in there!

By Flickr User sevitzdotcom

Whistle while you work might also be a good choice!  Absolutely hysterical sign found in a Canadian bathroom (where else?!) but a great suggestion to keep people from walking in on you while you’re in the middle of something.  I’m not sure that using the bathroom would really put me in a “seasonal” mood.

By Flickr User mandydale

This is a really cute depiction of people who have really, REALLY got to use the bathroom found in Sweden.  We’ve all been there, done that!  Too bad it doesn’t show them doing the pee pee dance as well.  I hope they make it in time!

By Flickr User CosmoPolitican

This sign found in a bathroom in Amsterdam really makes me wonder.  It’s never even occurred to me to take a shower on the floor of a bathroom!  And I’m always worried about the shower curtain being “just so” so that no water leaks out onto the floor.  At least they “kindly request” using the bathtub instead of the floor.  I might be a little more rude about it!

By Flickr User mind on fire

This strange symbol was found on the door of a Paris cathedral.  I’m not sure if it’s depicting a business man getting a cell phone call or if it is the international sign for gastrointestinal distress that the photographer titles the picture as.  Or maybe someone is shooting tiny bullets from his rear pocket.  It could be anything really, lol.

When nature calls we all have to go, man and beast. But don’t go like a beast. Go in a way that makes it less of a dread for the one to follow you. It is just good manners.  Actually bathroom etiquette starts before you feel the urge to go. When our body “composts” the food we eat we will soon need to go. Remember though, the sooner we go the less time your bowels will have to fester inside of you. Using proper bathroom etiquette calls for using the toilet as soon as possible, immediately if you can. Stuff festers inside you and gets worse the longer you procrastinate. So When you enter the den of ill repute show some restraint on grunt and growls that’s enough to make the baskerville hounds howl, especially when using a public restroom. How disturbing it is to some when we make such offensive sounds. Once you use the toilet drop your load and flush like lightening until it’s gone. Do not wait till after you clean to flush the toilet, but do so immediately so that the bowel fumes do not permeate the bathroom. Also when you use toilet paper do so conservatively. This can be done by taking only about a foot to a foot and a half of paper and fold it over each time you wipe yourself until you are wiped thoroughly. After you finish wiping yourself clean flush the toilet once more. If the toilet that you use has a full cover close it down before you flush the final time, but before you go to wash your hands check to see if your waste has completely gone down the toilet. A good idea for ridding the air of any residual odor is to have some matches with you. If you light a match and immediately put it out, waving it back and forth in the area, it should obsorb the lingering odor.

Now on to one of the most important rules to bathroom ettiquette, washing the hands. Residue of human waste as well as items that we touch in the bathroom should always be washed from the hands immediately after and before we leave the restroom. To avoid passing on genital sweat and body waste from residual urine and feces please wash your hands thoroughly. It is good hygiene when we do. Hands carry a lot of germs and when we shake the hand of another individual we can pass on germs. We have a community responsibility to practice good bathroom etiquette with our fellowman in mind, as each person should keep you in mind.  So then let each one of us show bathroom etiquette to our fellow man but especially our family, it’s just good manners!