The rationale behind this is simple: the conscious mind is always trying to apply logic and reason to everything it encounters. It needs to know why and how a stimulus will help it before it will accept the potential. Seeing is believing for the conscious mind, which questions everything and takes nothing on faith.

The subconscious mind is different. It exists below the level of perception in the part of the brain responsible for creativity, dreams, ideas and inspiration. Unlike its cousin, it takes everything we feed it on faith and questions nothing, which is why therapies such as hypnosis have proven so useful in helping people kick habits and change unwanted behaviours.

But what about subliminal messages flashed across your computer screen? Or played on a CD while you fall asleep at night? Can they really influence how you feel, how you perform, and how you behave?

Subconscious (Photo credit: kevin dooley)

On the face of it, there seem to be two schools of thought. For years people have claimed to be able to learn and remember facts and information simply by listening to tapes and CDs. There is proof that subliminal stimulation can boost academic performance, and it also appears to be an effective technique for learning the basics of a new language. Support for the ability of subliminal technology to increase intelligence is growing.

When it comes to behaviour modification, though, things are not so clear-cut. While hypnotic suggestion has been shown time and time again to be an effective means for breaking habits and altering behaviour, the same cannot be said of subliminal messaging. There is evidence that the latter can be useful for lifting one’s mood and producing a natural high, but its potential for long-term change is still being explored.

It would be nice to be able to program your computer with subliminal messages that would help you stop biting your nails, or quit smoking, or stick to your diet. With technology developing as quickly as it is, there’s no doubt that you’ll soon be able to achieve many of these things without leaving your seat.

And wouldn’t that be sublime?    

When we make resolutions we sometimes tend to go very big, huge … with other words, the goals we set are so enormous that even we don’t believe in them. “What’s the point to try, that can not be achieved”, the petite voice inside of us keeps repeating. And we give in.  So, make your resolutions believable. So what if they are much smaller than those that other people make for themselves. Resolutions that are not met are worth nothing.

Just as you can come up with too big resolutions it can happen that you want to pass too many. Don’t fall into that trap, especially if you are one of those who have trouble believing in benefits of New Year’s Resolutions. Just make one or two and stick with it. Later on you can always add new goals; you just won’t call them New Year’s Resolutions.

Make sure your resolutions are in present time and positive. Don’t say “I am not smoking anymore,” but rather “I am living a healthy life.” Don’t say “I am not fat anymore,” but rather “I am fit and nicely shaped.” Don’t say “I am not an angry person anymore,” but rather “I am a calm person.” You get the essence.

Lastly, in order to succeed you must remember that usually change does not come overnight. It takes time and many, many small steps that you need to make every day. But if you are patient and committed you will see results before the year ends if not before. Still not convinced? Look back a year at your life. How much has your life changed within last year? It may be to worse or it may be to better but the fact is that it has changed. In many cases you did not plan for those changes but you did take actions that brought those changes into your life. So, instead of just letting things happen, take control over what you want to enter into your life.

Have a bright, positive, vibrant, peaceful and loving 2012.

Jeff is a typical melancholic; there is no doubt about that. If you really know about the four temperaments and you do not see melancholy upon a few glances at this faithful friend then I have to rush for my first aid box to see if I can get anything to soothe your vision. The first impression one can possibly have upon seeing this friend is someone who might not have spoken for some years, or someone who hates everything around him, or one who may have known no joy at all. This appearance is surely a ‘robot’ in which this friend hides all his friendliness, all his cares, all his genuine smiles and ‘good-naturedness’. Smile to him and he would respond with a laugh, laugh to him and you would enjoy more laughs. He appears to be a haven of all good jokes. What situation can he not unveil the light side? He is potentially a good counsellor and a friend. The following is a story Jeff tells about himself, of which I have even heard his mother utter some aspects. I thought, upon his permission, that this story would be good for everyone to read and to take some cues out of it. Enjoy Jeff the Melancholic’s story.         

I grew up as a quiet little child; quietest amongst the four siblings. I enjoyed the company of other people, but I had always preferred solitary life. I would not talk but speak; I learnt to observe than mere looking. My joy had always been to watch contemporary prefects in school speak eloquently and make nice speeches; my spirit soars high to see adolescents as they flaunt passionately skills and talents publicly, and to see the youth play a role perfectly. The thoughts of these went through my sober mind daily. My spirit grew greatly and I always thought I could do better. Nothing seemed to be impossible.

On the contrary was the nervous me who seemed to be indifferent to whatever went on. My teen world had seen much worry and stress: common disease with the youth. I always found it difficult to approach people to share and discuss with them my mind. I was above average in the academic sphere. But, I think, my dull countenances kept teachers away from me. This also made it difficult for me to approach them. Similar situation existed between me and friends, and other neighbors. I had always craved for their encroachment in my seemingly closed world.

I thought of becoming a medical doctor, mainly because that was one of the few professions society seemed to cherish most. I could not achieve that dream because I could not make the required grade to read medicine. A little interaction with my elder brother, who might have sensed my anxiety, turned my drives on pursuing education as a program in the tertiary school. That has always being a good turn for me, and now apart from many suitable career opportunities in the education sector I have a high desire of pursuing any psychology related program at the masters level because of the excellent grades I made in psychology courses.

So I asked myself many questions; if I could be a little bit friendly? If my old folks could have taken my repulsive facial cue as a mere temperament, and approached me? If I had been well informed, and if I have to end the queries here before I create a distorted version of Rudyard Kipling’s “if” poem; I believe I would not have wasted a lot of time. I would have known better, been more informed and more developed.   The world owes its youth a lot; a lot of experience, a lot of direction, a lot of guidance and a lot of counseling in many ways.

To those youth who are already outgoing and expressive, who could flaunt their talents and skills perfectly I say you have it all so go ahead, but in humility. To the other group, that which I belong, the timid, nervous but most often good-natured I say yes we too have it all, let us open up a little and let the world see what great things we hide in us so that together with the other group we change the world and shape the future. It is my utmost hope that the young folk will always be approached; regardless of temperament. If it was true that Einstein once had speech impairment for his schoolmaster to have suggested Einstein should not be enrolled, then that would have been the greatest mistake of the century, a mistake that would have made the world lose one of the greatest discoveries like the relativity theory. The youth have all the dreams; we do have all the big dreams. If in dreams indeed begin responsibilities, as Delmore Schwartz says, it would take the right coaching and opportunities, as in strong youth policies, to harness these dreams so that bearers of these dreams become more responsible. I see much in the youth. The exuberance and the potential human resources in the youth are immeasurable, valuable like coral beads; coral beads from Ceuta, even though the youth are generally vulnerable.

I only needed self integrity, which a good youth policy could provide, and which if not at all could help me face the basic challenges of life, the ugly faces of worry, self-pity and anxiety, common diseases that bordered me. I have therefore embarked on building my self-esteem through attending seminars and other self-development programs, out of which I can now express myself freely. The older melancholic self still over-shadows the new me and it almost always gives me off naturally as first impression. It keeps people away against my consent, but it gives me the opportunity to divide two into equal halves and to treat each of the similar but unequal ‘ones’ as they are; it helps me put myself into other people’s shoes to know what word or phrase or sentence or sentences  they need at a time. So I keep trying till I see that a few glances at me can give hope to a grieved child then I would be certain that the outer self is alright.

I keep to Nathaniel Braden’s self-esteem, which he suggests is the basic human need for self-development and serves as important factor to achieve Maslow’s self-actualization. Tell me if you come across any program which you think would be beneficial to me.

People make the mistake of thinking that they work for a bank, an oil company, a small business. The truth is that you were hired by your company, but you work for yourself. Why do I say that you work for yourself? Everything you do in your company is going to affect the destiny of that company, but more than that, it will also affect you.

You have to come to reality that you work for yourself. Every contribution you make to the success of your company is making a contribution to your own life. If you decide to bring the company down through laziness and bad quality work, you are also bringing down your own life. If you perform excellently, it will as well reflect in your life.

When you wake up in the morning, get out of bed. Prepare and head for workplace where you build your future. When you get into your workplace, bear in mind every action on your part will lead you to a future of success or failure. Ensure that you produce excellent work because you are not working for your company but for yourself. You must do your work with integrity and do the right thing. In reality, you are simply training yourself to become a person of excellence and integrity.

Nothing brings this point home more than the point of looking for a job, whether it is due to being sacked from your previous work, or you are trying to change companies. Potential employers are always on the look-out for work experience with respect to how  well you understand your job and not how long you have spent in that job function. The reason you were invited for the interview was because you met the requirements. What is going to stand you out from others is how well you understand this concept and apply it .

KNOW YOUR JOB

The understand of your job is what will give you an hedge above others in your company and field of expertise. Knowing why your job exists and knowing it fits into the overall objective of the company you are working for. Even if you only a guy who stamps ‘PAID’ on company invoices. You need to understand that your job exists to help the company paid for services received and you are more of an auditor that a stamp rep.

DEVELOP YOURSELF

Can you imagine a weight lifter who only works on one part of his body? That part of the body will look quite grotesque. Developing yourself only in the job function you currently do is myopic. Take time to find out what is happening in other areas of the business, read up on new areas in your spare time. Don’t wait for your company to train you. Invest in your professional development.

BE A TEAM PLAYER

No matter how skillful you are at your job, the skill that gets you noticed and further is how you interact well with others in your team and how make them feel. Cultivate the habit of working alongside with others and appreciate them as well for every contribution made them in ensuring that you also achieve your own quota in your job.

DO YOUR BEST AT WORK

You might as well be tempted to say that after all, you are not the only one in your company. Always remember that you are working for the company but for yourself. Give your best to your employer so that when are also on your own, those serving under you could as well do the same thing to you.

DON’T JOIN THE LEAGUE OF COMPLAINERS

There are many people that will never be satisfied. They complain about everything. Even when their complaints are met, they will still find something and somebody to complain about. Don’t let such people infect you with their brand of poison.

DON’T BREAK RANKS

Don’t run down your boss for any reason, even if your boss is cruel and inhuman. You still have to play your part well because if you continue to play along like your boss’s bad traits you will definitely become like him or her. My advice to you is that you should play the good part.

10. Find a Way to put on Everything you Find out — Somewhat use what you find out everyday to show that to a practice instead of a desire. Accomplish this for 21 days and also the practice is actually you. Because you gather expansion in this way, create idle or lapse.

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

I kept on practicing the “Ask, and You Shall Receive” philosophy. Tina was the most beautiful girl in my class. I was 16 years old. I was not popular and I was not cool. I wanted to invite her to go to the Saturday night dance with me. I was very shy. I figured I should apply the “Ask, and You Shall Receive” philosophy. I walked to her. I was so nervous I was shacking. I told her: “Tina, do you want to go to the dance with me on Saturday night.” She said: “Maybe, I have to ask my dad first.” Wow! She said “maybe”. That’s all I needed. Tina finally came to the dance with me on that Saturday night and it was a life-changing experience for me.

I decided I would use the “Ask, and You Shall Receive” philosophy for bigger things. I started asking for better grades in school. I started asking for better athletic abilities. I soon realized that the “Ask, and You Shall Receive” philosophy did not always work. It worked better when you ask directly to someone for something. However, when you want better grades, you cannot ask your teachers or your parents since your grades only depend on how well you know your subject. When you want better athletic abilities, you can’t ask your coach or your friends since it depends on how much you practice and work. I started asking God for what I wanted but it did not produce the results I really expected. After a few weeks, I did not believe in the “Ask, and You Shall Receive” philosophy anymore. On top of everything, I asked a few girls to go out with me and they refused. I asked my dad to lend me some money to buy a new car and he refused. I asked my boss for a raise and he refused. The “Ask, and You Shall Receive” philosophy really did not work for me after all.

I was very disappointed. I failed my mathematics exam in school. I talked to my teacher and I asked him for a better grade. He told me: “You should study harder next time. There’s nothing I can do for you.” Then, I asked my boss for a raise. He told me I should work harder and show him I deserved a raise. I finally realized that life does not always give you what you ask for, but that life always rewards you when you take action. I finally changed my life philosophy to “ACT, and You Shall Receive”.

Yes, that’s right: “Act, and You Shall Receive.” Do you want more money? Take action, start your own business, find a better-paid job, and you shall receive what you want. Do you want to be in better shape? Take action, go to the gym, start running, and you shall be rewarded by life. Do you want a better relationship? Take action, read some books, and you shall see some improvement in your relationship. The real formula for success and happiness in life is really “Act, and You Shall Receive.”

I hope this article was helpful for you. Take care and be safe!

David Roy

Personal Trainer, Coach, and Entrepreneur

While material possession, undoubtedly, will give you  quality of life and the liberty to choose your own way of living, experience has provided innumerous examples on how they cannot give you happiness.

In my view happiness is a state of mind and body (if unhealthy, unnourished, and in miserable condition, no positive thinking will help to make you happy. Mind and body should be in balance),it is an attitude, it is inward and not outward. It is a choice you make. It is a seed you cultivate with patience and care from the early years of your life till you get old and wrinkled.

In my opinion, the best gift parents can make to their children is to teach them right from the start an attitude of appreciation, generosity, persistence and optimism. With this done you can be sure you have set them on the right way to happiness.

To illustrate how wrong our attitudes towards happiness are I have chosen two little but meaningful stories.

The nursing home room

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy. “Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.” “That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged … it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it … It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away … just for this time in my life.”

The lost keys

An old man had dropped his house keys. He was searching for them desperately in the garden but with no success. His young, next door neighbor, watching the scene approached him and asked what he was looking for. The man told him he was looking for his keys. The polite neighbor offered to help and together they kept searching for some time.

After a while the neighbor asked he old man where exactly had he dropped the keys, so they could narrow the range. To his surprise the old man answered he had dropped them inside the house.

The young guy asked puzzled: “But then why are you looking for them here, outside?”. “You will never find them”.

“Well,-said the old man,-“There is dark inside the house, so I came search here in the light”.

Many times we behave like the old man, we look for our lost happiness where the bright lights are, sadly though it isn’t there to be found. 

 The issue of self development, as a matter of fact, is by the day gaining increasing interest and the questions we are faced with right now are; what is self development? And how do we develop/or promote our self? To start with, self development involves taking responsibility for one’s own learning and developmental process by means of self evaluation, reflection and action. That is, acting with utmost and immediate response. The truth is that, the distinguishing factor between a successful and an unsuccessful person is action taking. Two individuals can get an idea now; perhaps the same one, but what will distinguish them will be their response in terms of action. The one who takes the bold step and acts will be the one to enjoy the reward of the idea because he/she acted promptly and assumed responsibility. Self development is to continually, consciously and consistently acquire and update skills in order to stay marketable and valuable in our various fields. To be self developed is to be disciplined enough to subject one’s self to learning. This then takes us to the question of how to develop our self.

Time and time again, it is being said that who we are or what we will be is a function of the books we read and the friends we keep. The point of emphasis here is on reading. The first major way of learning and developing ourselves is to read wide and regularly. Not just any book but mind edifying, scholastic and enlightening books like; professional, education, trade…journals, targeted at improving the person. Hence try as much as possible to read a minimum of one book in a month. Many a times, people stop reading immediately after tertiary education, and even in school we make the mistake of reading just school works. This is a wrong mentality as we now live in an IT age and it will be unintelligent to restrict one’s self to reading school books alone or even totally stop reading after school. Conversely, there is the need to stay updated always because the world is changing steadily and rapidly.

Another way to promote self development is to get involved in something new every day. You should probably, take classes or listen to tapes on personal and professional growth topics, in order to learn from other people’s experience and stay current, rather than having to do everything by yourself. Attend a financial seminar or take an IT class, you can never know when you will need it. This is important as it will give you knowledge in other field of interest and keep you ahead in competition.

More importantly, make a well detailed personal vision and mission statement as it will keep you focused always. Also, keep a daily journal of your thoughts, ideas and your newly acquired skills in order to keep track of your progress.

By and large, stay teachable, flexible and constantly adaptable to new things and always be informed. Make it a point of duty to ask about what you don’t know.

But the Best we can learn from them is that every interruption is not necessarily bad. Every closed door is not necessarily related to something we’ve done wrong. Every delay or mishap is not proof that we won’t get where we are supposed to be in life.

Whatever happens, we can always open ourselves up to the possibility that there’s a purpose, or better a ‘Divine Purpose’  to bring good to ourselves, our family or others.

When we are inconvenienced in our daily life, when small as well as big problems of any kind afflict us how easier is it  to complain, whine and give in to pessimism and other dark feelings? Much easier, I guess, right?!

But Joel points out that there’s something called “Divine Interruption”. In one way or the other we have all experienced it, it’s just that we might not have been so ready to perceive the “Divine” in it.

Probably our attitude in those circumstances would change completely, if we would consider every ‘STOP’ of our life as orchestrated from Heaven above. May be, to reach out to someone in need, or perhaps to prevent us from getting something that would be harmful or not right for us. May be, because God wants to give us more than we already set to accept for ourselves. As Joel reminded us, it is written in Ephesians 3.20:… ‘Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.’

If we would only keep our FAITH strong in those moments and open ourselves to the perspective that there’s a Divine Purpose in all that happens to us, good or bad, what different life we could live.

Any closed door, any disappointment, any delay as anything denied to us would not be anymore reason of sorrow and grief but to reflect on the fact that God is in control and may be protected us from getting what was not the best for us, so that we can later find ourselves at the right place, the right time. 

We should always keep in mind that not everything is about ourselves but it’s about God and advancing HIS kingdom. During our inconveniences or delays, we may happen to be a blessing to others. Victoria Osteen, during a mishap with her credit card, unknowingly found herself in ministering hope to a young lady in a difficult moment of her life. How many of us in unexpected circumstances have found opportunities to be of help to someone in need or made fundamental changes in life, or met  people who changed the turn of our life?

One incident happened to an elderly relative of Joel reminded me of another one occurred to a young lady very recently. Joel talked about a guy in his seventy, still very active, who ended up to an Emergency Room, after accidentally falling from a stair at home while fixing something.  Once in the Hospital, the doctor found out that he arrived right on time for taking care of a medical problem, which could have been fatal. He was completely unaware of that. The young lady I know, instead, had a terrible car accident and underwent a long and complicated surgery. At her awakening after surgery, she was given painkiller drugs to subside the pain which caused her serious side effects. Extensive exams to understand what had happened were required. During those investigations the doctors found out she had a rare type of cyst, grown to its last phase, which could have been fatal for her if they did not find it right when they did it.

Amazing, Eh!! Strange as it is, these things happen every day, if we have eyes to look at them.

It’s better to reflect more often than we do on the fact that the ‘Steps and the Stops of a Good Person’ seem to be directed from the Lord. Increasing our confidence in this assurance with all our mind and heart, a serene life awaits us, independently from what happens, good or bad. St Paul told us, indeed, that “….God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”.

 Reflecting about all this, what better words may we find than the ones Joel left us in concluding his talk?

‘Remember, what may look like a mistake to us, what may seem like a disappointment may instead be a divine interruption. We have to keep our hearts and minds open to what God is doing. You may never know why something has happened, but you can rest assured that God is working behind the scenes to bring good out of every situation’.

 Happy New Year to all!!

Visit, if you like, www.JoelOsteen.com for a source of inspiring and enlightening talks by Joel & Victoria Osteen.

Have you decided how you will create the life style you want, maybe these are a few criteria to consider:

Kind of community you want to be apart of that will nurture you

The surroundings of it being near a college, theatre or libraries, airport and such will make all the difference in your self esteem.

Surround yourself with like minded individuals who will build you up and make you feel good about yourself.

What activities will you get involved in to contribute your skills

The living arrangement and surroundings of your environment can shape you and help you grow and develop.

Answering these questions just may be the push you need to get all the elements of your life together so that it reflects who you truly are on the inside.

Envision yourself in these surroundings and then start working towards actually making them reality. Support groups also can help you find out what your true mission in life will be.