Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.

Take full responsibility for your life. 
Stop blaming others. 
See yourself as the cause of what happens to you.

Do things you like to do. 
Don’t stay in a job you don’t like.
Participate in life at the highest level you can.

Stop terrorising yourself with your thoughts.
Be gentle and kind and patient with yourself.

Give yourself the simple pleasures of life abundantly.
Wear clothes you feel good in, get a massage etc.

Watch what you say. Avoid self put-downs.
Stop being critical of yourself and others.

Take care of your body. 
Give it exercise and good food.

Be willing to create a life-style that generates and nourishes self-esteem.
Associate with others with high esteem.

Acknowledge yourself frequently. 
Keep a diary of your successes and accomplishments.

Avoid comparing yourself with others.
Remember that it’s who we are, not what we do, that’s important

Give yourself permission to do nothing periodically. 
Schedule time by yourself.

Frequently take deep breaths. 
Discover the benefit and pleasure of breathing fully.

Eat first class frequently. 
Don’t look at the right side of the menu.

Stop trying to change others. 
Focus your attention on being the way you want others to be.

Look into a mirror regularly 
and say “I love you, I really love you”.

Stop feeling guilty and saying “I’m sorry”. 
See mistakes as valuable lessons and avoid judging yourself.

Consciously generate positive thoughts and feelings of self-love
in place of old thoughts of inadequacy.

Be willing to laugh at yourself and at life. 
Stop taking yourself so seriously.

Accept compliments from others without embarrassment.
Don’t invalidate their positive thoughts and feelings about you.

Be kind to your mind.
Don’t hate yourself for having negative thoughts. 
Gently change your thoughts.

Keep your awareness and your thoughts focussed in present time 
instead of living in the past or future.

Acknowledge others frequently. 
Tell them what you like and appreciate in them.

Invest money in yourself. 
Go to seminars, workshops and courses that develop your talents.

Make a list of 10 things 
you love doing and do them frequently.

Treat yourself as you would treat someone you really loved. 
Praise yourself. 

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When is it spanking? When is it abuse?

Many will quote the Bible verse “Spare the rod and spoil the child.” The Bible Says: “He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24) and “Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell” (Proverbs 23:13-14).But this was written in the Old Testament.

But the New Testament adapts the parenting instruction advising that a Christian leader should be “one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence, (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?). So then in considering these verses located in I Timothy 2:4 and 5 we can draw the conclusion that a good Christian leader leads his family with Christian doctrine not by striking them. The ultimate authority is Christ so the wise parent lives a Godly life leading by example.

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Encourage not discourage your child.

A child is to be disciplined with grace not beaten into submission. It is not about breaking the will of your child, but building up your child. We are given instruction on how to not discourage but encourage our youth. Physical punishment may keep your child in line while you are present to inflict the punishment, but what happens once the child is on his or her own? A child who is grounded in faith has a foundation which is instilled and helps a child to make appropriate decisions on his or her own.

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. “

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs provides a promise and a command, not a suggestion.

Grace can undo poor child training and one of God’s gifts, His righteousness is one of the best instructional tools known to man. Train your child with consistency, God’s doctrine and by example tempered with grace and love. We cannot make our children righteous as it is a gift from God. We can teach them God’s word and by living in a Godly way, they will seek the righteousness of God. “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” Romans 10:17. Is the child hearing the word of God?

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The author of the best-selling book “Raising a Thinking Child, Myrna B. Shure PhD wrote in her book Thinking Parent, Thinking Child “I don’t say “Never spank” an occasional spanking won’t hurt your child, and it may legitimately relieve your own anger and frustration. However, if you rely on spanking, you’ll encounter many unintended consequences. Perhaps the most serious result is that it teaches your child to disregard his own feelings.” Caring for their own feelings is the first step towards learning empathy.

The following results are born from frequent and harsh spankings:

• Spanking can cause a child to feel overpowered and helpless leaving him or her angry and frustrated. Needing to regain power they may feel the need to exercise power over those who are less threatening to them. This is how a bully can be born.

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• A child may withdraw emotionally from the parent who spanks them frequently losing trust and an emotional bond with that parent. They may also rebel from the very values that parent is striving to instil.

• Spanking causes a child to avoid the behaviour which caused the spanking but not to think about proper behaviour.

• Spanking may teach a child that hitting is an appropriate way to express anger and they may lash out physically when they are angry.

In conclusion, spanking should not be the only form of punishment. A parent needs to learn how to instruct a child as to the consequences of bad behaviour in a positive way to make discipline a teaching tool. Train your child in the ethics of the law, not the letter of the law so they can make wiser choices and they will feel more confidence and a stronger self-esteem when faced with life’s trials.

Now is the time to take control. Stop people from abusing, mistreating, disrespecting or unappreciating you. One step at a time. It becomes easier as time goes on. You began to demand respect. You can do it quietly, you don’t have to yell.

You can simply start by saying NO when you dont want to do something. You can tell your kids you arent their maid or slave. You can tell your parent to stop treating you like a child. You can tell your friend NO. If these people care they will still be there. If not they didnt anyway and you may be better off.

Empowering yourself becomes easier as you take baby steps. Your family and friends may suddenly ask , “What’s wrong with you?” I had to say I know you love me, but loving me is not enough anymore. I want respect and appreciation. It may shock them initially but as you stick to your guns it works.

You feel better and become confident. I am doing it everyday. Everyday I get stronger where it counts. Taking control of my own self worth. Demanding that others realize it as well.

Good luck on your journey. Baby steps…You will get there

Most people have little to no idea how important it is to develop a mindset that makes success in business more attainable. What most people also are not aware of is how much they sabotage their own efforts. That may seem far fetched but it truly is not. Think about all the beliefs you have about yourself that are not the most positive. That’s exactly why you will see books and other media talking about self esteem and things like fears of failure, success and much more. These are the challenges everybody faces in some way. But you can undo all that with a strong effort and your will to succeed.

There are many good reasons why you have to make the effort to take action every day. It does not matter at all if the work you get done is minimal. Even if you only have 30 minutes a day for it, then spend that time working on your business. What you have to do is form a habit and learn discipline. When you have that down, then you will have ingredients for commitment to your business. Many people have a hard time with self discipline with their business. Hey, it is their business and they call the shots, so it is very easy to skip days and make promises for more work tomorrow. That is deadly to your new venture, so do something each and every day.

So many people are terrified of making mistakes and for any number of reasons. If you have a fear of mistakes, then you have to address it on your own. However, develop a healthy perspective on mistakes in your life and in your business. First of all, you will make them for the rest of your life – so all right. As you gain more knowledge and experience with business, you will make fewer mistakes and that’s a good thing. Learn from your mistakes because they can teach you lessons you will not learn anywhere else. So in that sense, mistakes are really your friend because they can help you if you let them.

An open mind in everything can be a powerful, secret weapon if you choose to develop it. A lot of people have terribly closed minds in so many areas of life. But in business, an open mind is like being willing to find inspiration in the strangest places. Open minds are responsible for brilliant ideas in business and in science and other areas. You will see things that nobody else sees, and you will think about possibilities that can completely change your life. An open mind is a creative mind, and there is lots of room in business for creativity, and I know that from lots of personal experience. Make the decision to leave your comfort zone and have an open mind.

Remember that creating the set of attitudes that propel you to success involve making lifestyle changes in your mind. These beliefs and behaviors are new habits you have to cultivate. Avoid being harsh on yourself because it takes time and dedication.

I think there comes a point when enough is enough. We are living in a society which increasingly mollycoddles children to their own detriment. This is an example of this kind of behaviour in the extreme, but it is by no means an isolated case. We may as well kit out children in little cotton wool safety jackets as soon as they are born and have done with it.

The fact is, people seem to have forgotten that the only way children are going to grow and develop as human beings, is if they are put in situations where they have to overcome life’s little adversities. It is nothing but false kindness to fail to expose them to the most fundamental of school realities – a few black marks by their work.

The other issue is how are these children going to learn if they are not told where they are going wrong? This school, which has not been named, needs to realise it is not the correcting of spelling mistakes which will cause the upset, it is how the situation is dealt with from there.

If the child’s work is thrust back at them and the teacher barks that they must do better, then this is not going to do the child any good. If the child is shown where they went wrong and helped to improve with kind but proper instruction, then the child will greatly benefit.

We are living in a politically correct culture where no one wants to be seen to be stepping out of line, but if schools shirk away from the very reason they are there – to help educate pupils and enable them to grow as individuals – we are going to have a very stunted and ill-educated next generation.

When we love and nurture ourselves we feel a sense of well-being

Many of us have never learned how to take care of ourselves. Some of us have found many of our relationships to be based on trying to get someone to take care of us. When we begin to nurture and fall in love with ourselves we can’t help but experience a wonderful sense of well-being. We begin to look at ourselves through fresh eyes. Becoming more aware and attentive to our own wants and needs we begin to give more to ourselves, without guilt. We are worthy of all the love we give to others.

Loving and nurturing ourselves means following our intuition

We may have thought that taking care of ourselves meant taking care of others more, this never works and leaves us feeling tired, resentful or angry. Loving and nurturing ourselves means following and listening to our intuition. It means taking time to listen to the feelings of the child within who may be hurt or scared, and respond with loving, nurturing, tenderness, compassion and appropriate action. It’s putting our own inner needs first and trusting that as we do everyone will be taken care of, what needs to be done will get done, and all will be handled. Some ways of loving and nurturing yourself include;

• When we are feeling sad, angry or any other negative emotion, take the time to cry and feel the emotions. Be loving and kind to yourself. Share with someone how your are honestly feeling, or journal your emotions until some of the feelings are released and you are feeling better.
• When we spend to much time working and not enough time relaxing, we don’t take good care of ourselves. Take time for play, visit friends, read a book or have a long hot bath.
• When someone we love wants something that we don’t want to give, we have to learn to say ‘no’ and trust that they will find what they are needing somewhere else. By saying no when we need to it leaves us free to say yes when we want to.

Nurturing and loving ourselves doesn’t mean we do it alone

Most importantly loving and nurturing yourself doesn’t mean doing it alone. Creating a good relationship with yourself first is vital, but it is not done in a vacuum. Relationship to others is one of our greatest human needs. Though it is important to learn to take care of yourself and be alone, it is also necessary to build and strengthen our relationship with ourselves by interacting with others, for they will mirror back to us the inner work we need to do. The greatest gift we have to give to another is by giving ourselves the gift of love.

, Shakti Gawain, New World Library.

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Living In The Light

It is important to know that you are commissioned to live a meaningful life. In line with this, everyone has been given unique talents and abilities. Yet, many youths demean themselves with the feeling that they don’t have what it takes to succeed.

This feeling is usually a product of low self esteem. With this kind of feeling, such youth will never be able to maximise their potentials and the opportunities that come their way. This automatically means that they are on their way to failure.

Self Esteem (Photo credit: Editor B)

Low esteem occurs when an individual feels he or she is useless, worthless and incompetent. Low self esteem is a malaise that has to be tackled, because it can lead to depression, failure, drug/alcohol addiction, improper dressing, negative peer influence, murder and even suicide.

To succeed, the youth must learn to build or develop his or her self esteem. The following points could be useful in building a high self esteem;

·        Accept and love yourself whole heartedly: Before you can do this, you must first realise that every individual is uniquely created. Even identical twins do have different personalities. Therefore, you have to accept yourself the way you are and love yourself irrespective of your disabilities or weaknesses. Do not dwell on your weaknesses, because every human being has some.

Instead, make a list of your strengths, good physical features and rare talents and celebrate them. Once you love yourself wholeheartedly, you would discard any negative thing that is said about you, and feel very good about yourself.

·        Learn the best way to handle failure: Don’t ever see failure in any task or venture as the end of life. You can sometimes fail repeatedly trying to get something done, but this should not make you feel depressed. Seeing yourself as a failure would only make you feel like a failure. Instead of seeing failure as the end of the road, failure should be seen as an opportunity to learn.

·        Never compare your achievements with that of those: Your measure of success should not depend on other peoples successes. Avoid comparing your experiences and achievements with those of others because it will lead you to underestimating your worth, especially when you conclude that others are better than you are. Just be happy with whatever you have achieved and improved on it if the opportunity exists.

·        Free yourself from negative relationships: Always remember that your friends can make or mar our friends can make or mar you. Watch out for friends who are always quick to set unreasonable standards for. Watch out for friends who are always quick to set unreasonable standards for you. Make friends with enthusiastic and optimistic fellows who would encourage you to be your good self and would sincerely correct you if the need arises.

·        Forgive your mistakes and move ahead happily: As humans, we sometimes take faulty steps while trying to get things done.  Mistakes should not make you feel bad about yourself. Mistakes should be seen as an opportunity to learn new lessons. Whenever you make a mistake, do not regard yourself as a loser or one who cannot get anything right. Instead, look at the mistake that has been made, learn your lesson and move on happily.

·        Never await any compliment or approval from other people: In whatever you do, you must not seek compliments from other people around you, because you would feel neglected when you do not get them. Instead, always pay yourself compliments for every task you accomplish and congratulate yourself for every success you record. Say sweet words like, “I am the best,” “I am beautiful,” “I am great,” and so on.

I would like to remind youths of what Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission”. Do not allow whatever anybody says to you to make you feel worthless. Whenever you have a feeling of disappointment about yourself, remember that you are special. You are simply the “BEST.”

·                     Start with a clean slate. Pretend you’re a stranger and ask yourself what went wrong with the relationship you were in. Be honest with your answers. You want to get through this first stage before meeting someone else. Also, you don’t want to launch into a new relationship right away. You want to be cautious this time around.

·                     To give yourself a whole new makeover for the new you, change your hairdresser and ask the new one to give you a perky look. If your hair is long and a little boring, she could give you a tint and a trim to give you a fresh appearance.

·                     If you have never worn lipstick, go out and buy a really hot color and put it on.

·                     If you are wearing skirts and blouses all the time, it will get a little monotonous and you can have three tailored suits made for the office you can rotate with different silk blouses and look professional every day. You want your clothes to look smart for the office, yet funky.

·                     Read some books on how to raise your self-esteem and go out and practice your new attitude on your friends. Don’t believe that anyone is better than you. Raise your confidence by reading books and reading articles such as the one you are reading now and learn how to be assertive. Men like women who know what they want; don’t be afraid to make friends.

·                     If you have never worn perfume, spend an afternoon at the perfume counter and go through the testers for a fragrance that suits your personality.

·                     It doesn’t hurt to tone up a little either by going for walks for half an hour. Most of all, you want the results of your overhaul to reflect your easy personality and your attractive look.

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Here are my Six Essential Tricks For “Flowing” Relationships

1. Quit competitive with each other! Excellent connections are all about being on the same aspect. What’s the objective in credit reviewing all those points? Sure you may mix the complete range first these days, and maybe the next day as well. But you’ll be all alone when you do, and if you bring on this way, gradually you may not have anyone eventually left in your lifestyle to contend with! So stop competing; stop player-hating; begin working on traversing that complete range as aspect of a successful group.

2. Pay attention, connect and hear! One of my preferred components of my excellent connection interval, is to sit and discussion with my spouse. We discuss big products, and little stuff; reveal programs and discomfort, and each of us involves with what the other is saying. We never use quiet as a system, and we never go to bed mad. Expert the easy art of actual discussion, and your connection is almost home!

3. Comprehend a connection is not about “ownership. “This is probably the most typical individual issue I come across. Possessiveness and envy are two of the most dangerous of all individual makes. Very few connections will endure the toxins of this twin-horned demon. Let it go!

4. Pay yourself first every day! A vey important connection of all is the one you have with yourself! That indicates looking after your human body, thoughts and soul every individual day. It’s basically known as self-respect. I can assurance you, that if you don’t treatment for yourself, then few others will. Why should they? If you’ve already confirmed your own low self-esteem, who am I, or anyone else, to dispute with that? Cope with yourself first each day, to be able to be powerful enough to manage the individuals you treatment about.

5. Put the enchanting endeavors back! You just can’t defeat it. A enchanting act says: “At this time, I am considering 100% of you, and your needs, and I want to do everything I can to please you.” It also says plenty about your own self-esteem. You’d be surprised how many individuals are inspired to create enchanting actions because of the reward they’ll obtain, not the satisfaction they’ll give. That isn’t enchanting endeavors, its self-centered. Comprehend to identify. Become a Expert of Romance. It’ll add liven to your life!

6. Comprehend how to extend, but never so far that you click.  Relationships are all about cooperation. It’s OK to extend with the wind flow sometimes. That’s the characteristics of the dancing. But it’s not OK to bow over so far, so often, and so low, that you get used down, damage and click. Comprehend how much to provide, how much to take, and when basically to move away.

But what is the profile of the bad girls?

¿Mean Girls or self-esteem?

The author of the book points out some characteristics with which she calls “bad girls”, here are …

-The poor are treated well and feel themselves entitled to everything good. If there is one last piece of cake, say: “Can it be for me? m The one who most wants to eat this. “

-They sit on the restaurant table and choose the menu for the column on the left (the plate), and never look on the right (the price), because that is accustomed to losing.

-A bad girl does not apologize or excuse. And if you screw up, apologizes, but gives no explanation for what he has done.

-The bad news is funny. All laugh at what he says. But do not laugh at her.

-The bad news is ingenious because it is not self-censor: they talk point blank, do not fear being wrong, and that is the essence of grace, the same grace that has the sincerity of the children, when they say “look how ugly” of a picture really ugly, that is the most famous painter.

-They can be sweet without being softened.

-Can be compassionate without being servile.

-Can be tolerant, provided they do not expect to tolerate things that bother.

-They are demanding of others and themselves and bring out the best in people, because we all strive to be liked, if only because they fear them.

-Poor support its principles, not caring that the other Opinion like them or not.

-They are independent, wise, intelligent and not afraid to be strong. Moreover, it is they like to be strong!

-They care much more to be respected than to be loved. And do not stop until it does.

-Bad women know no boundaries or barriers. Are obstacles to overcome them. Dreams, to meet them.

Now women, let us think what the author of the book is asking not to be a bad girl. Just about having self-esteem. Quality that many women believe it is a sin to have, and that false humility and goodness grudgingly politically correct.

Not so … and not about being poor, about being good and considerate of ourselves, it’s about having self-esteem … and this makes people realize that we are and worthless.