What do I think?

My heart is conflicted and wants clearity.

But every answer gives me nothing but insanity

Many push answers from all over.

Makes me want to crawl away and cry.

I’m sick of what people say,

when I walk down the street.

I’ve done nothing but coward away in fear.

Best of luck to the future people that see me,

cause I ain’t listening.

All my life I hear not the truth, but rumors that were never true.

I got nothin but anger inside of me.

When will it end.

I’m sick of what people say,

when I walk down the street.

I’ve done nothing but coward away in fear.

Best of luck to the future people that see me,

cause I ain’t listening.

I can not understand why I even try.

I know what I have to say in order for them to go away.

I’m just glad I have friends who love me for who I am.

I’m sick of what people say,

when I walk down the street.

I’ve done nothing but coward away in fear.

Best of luck to the future people that see me,

cause I ain’t listening.

(repeat)

For me, I won’t have to worry no more.

Personally, this year has most likely been my most productive, the year that I have laid some concrete plans and ultimately embraced the notion that I have a lot more to learn before I can claim mastery on anything.  Learning and self-development should be a life-long process.  I know this now.  I have graduated from 2 colleges in the same year, earned my BA in Human Services and Counseling, and am getting ready to continue on for my M.Ed. in Education and Human Development.  But who am I to boast all these achievements?  I am the same as you; a someone trying to carve their own path in the world.  I work for minimum wage helping students who are new to higher education, because I know how daunting the experience can be.

While we cannot separate the politics from the personal, I’d say that even although the global economy is seriously troubled, how we view our opportunities is purely a matter of attitude.  Negative media reports about the economic climate seem to justify an attitude of hopelessness in the masses, and the unemployment statistics erode at our sense of self-worth by planting the seed of negativity. 

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, as of November 2011, 8.6 percent of the US population is registered unemployed, and here in Kentucky that figure rises to 9.4 percent. (Compare to North Dakota’s unemployment rate at 3.4%).  One might be inclined to think that the business of finding an occupation is pointless, and this is the very attitude that will erode at the sense of worth and crush the self-esteem.  Is it any wonder that incidences of depression and mental illness are on the increase?

We need to find a reason for being, a purpose in life, a cause that inspires us.  So, while I do not earn nearly enough to support my family, and life is a struggle, I do have a purpose. I live in hope that the financial compensation will follow, but the psychological compensation is invaluable. I have set achievable goals, volunteered my time in my community, worked “off the clock” to help others.  I have become so involved with helping others, that the economic rewards are not my reason for being.  Along the way I have made many friends, encouraged others to become involved in their community too, and thus giving their live new direction and meaning.

 Happiness and a sense of fulfillment cannot be bought, and with the current state of affairs, there are many people who would appreciate a helping hand.  A little empathy goes a long way, and it doesn’t cost a single cent.  Challenge yourself in the coming year to become involved with an event, an organization, a mission and see just how it changes your life for the better. 

It’s exactly the remedy that worked for me and I am a better person for it.  I still cannot afford to purchase the latest trends, but then I couldn’t care any less for consumer fads and capitalist notions of self-importance.  This chick is not mainstream, in any sense of the word.

Celebrate the New Year with a new attitude!

See Also:

Local Area Unemployment Statistics:  Bureau of Labor Statistics (Nov 2011) http://www.bls.gov/lau/

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esteem or feel intimidated that may challenge your new self worth. They may make you start to doubt yourself or lose faith.

Don’t let it happen. Don’t lose faith in you. Don’t let someone else’s stuff get in the way of finding yourself. You have a journey to complete, keep going. If they truly love you they will support you and be right by your side not try to block you, pull you back or doom you to failure.

Be careful of the ones with no goals and content to stay where they are or scared of change. For change scares some people. Success can put fear into people. while you are reaching for the stars they are content to laying back just looking at them. Your reaching causes insecurity and instability. It could also make them feel you may move on and ahead.

That is their issue, their own stuff, not a reality unless they make it one. You can continue as a team unless their fear causes it to become fact. You have a purpose. The purpose is to become the best you that you can be. A person that truly respects you would only want that for you as well. For that is real love.

They would be right by your side on that journey, pulling you when it gets tough. Not pushing you down.

So be aware of who you have on your journey. where they stand while you are on it. It is your world. You are in control of it. Control who you let in it as well

One doesn’t have to be perfect to be a great man. Nor does one have to be either universally liked or have the world agree by acclamation to the greatness. Just because one person, or a thousand people don’t believe one is great, does not void the greatness.

However, one can’t merely announce that he is “great” and let it go at that. Instead, one can only be great when one sincerely realizes that other people see you as that great person. Years of having others tell me that I am great caused me to wince, fearing that if I were to believe this, then I’d be the most conceited, arrogant s.o.b. around. And, years of hearing from a sub set of humanity that I “wasn’t so great” and that I had a long list of flaws and imperfections which these people were only so happy to point out, prevented me from believing that I could be a great man, no matter how hard I may try.

In addition, one doesn’t have to be “famous” to be a great man, although some great men have achieved fame in what they have said, written, or accomplished. And being famous doesn’t go along with being great, either. The mere ownership of celebrity does not qualify one for greatness. It is important to distinguish between being “great” at something and being a “great man.” For example, one can be a great actor, or, a great teacher, or, a great lumberjack, and so forth, but still not be a great man. Conversely, a great man doesn’t have to be “great” in any career or craft or skill. Even so, there are great actors who are great men; great carpenters that are great men; great policemen that are great men; and so on.

So, there are many men throughout time and space who are great, but, at the same time, relatively unknown (not famous). An insightful man once said that prophet is not known in his own land. Precisely, the quote is, “People have set that up as a standard, not to recognize a prophet in his own country.” – Sun Ra (aka Herman Poole Blount, 1914 – 1993). So, if you grew up with a person, or he was a high school buddy, no matter what he accomplishes in life, you will see him only as he was – a high school buddy. Nothing more; nothing less. But others who do not know him, will see him for who he has become. Jesus was not known or recognized as a great leader in his land.

Come to think of it, maybe you’re too busy focusing on other things that you already miss out on the positivity life offers. Maybe what you’re looking for is just in front of you but you can’t notice because you’re looking down thinking about your shortcomings. There’s a time for everything. No one’s running after you so don’t run too fast, don’t push yourself too hard. All the other people in this planet don’t matter. It’s all on you. Come on, it’s time to relax. Sometimes, you just have to go with the flow and let everything groove into the tune of “Que Sera Sera”.

Besides, you know what people say? Great things come when you least expect it.

When problems come your way, be strong. Like everything else in this world, they too, shall pass. And remember that people are like rainbows – both ends offer wonderful surprises, and they only appear after the rain. When feeling like giving up, talk to God. Prayers are the fastest and most effective way of sending messages. Before you even say it, God already has a plan for it.

You are special. In your own way, you are. Have enough self-confidence and trust in your abilities. Before anybody else believes in you, you should believe in yourself first. Also, always think about your family and friends. Nobody in this earth is a total loner. One way or another, there is someone who’s got your back. 

And just the fact that you have a family proves that you are worthy. There are people who love you, who care for you, who value you. To love and be loved is more than enough a reason to feel confident. With love, and faith in God, all ends will eventually meet. 

So, carpe diem, everybody! Because all of you are worthy of existence and love!

As a person believes in his or her heart, so is he or she. My parents died in 2010. Grieving has stages and I managed to live through them well so far. I have learned how to forgive for each of us has our path to follow. I enjoy making people laugh and smile. Who said most folks are as happy as they choose to be? Was that Abraham Lincoln or me? Smiling and laughing are easier than crying all the time. Yet, I know it is good to cry. I enjoy writing, singing and sometimes listening to my inner child. Recently, one friend said to forgive others, look at their picture when they were a child. He also said to have a G-d box. I have one and if your name goes there, good things will happen to you. Find out what makes you happy and laugh often. Life has more blessings than curses. Look around and you will see others have it no worse or better than you. If you have ever been labeled” less than”, try this exercise.  Go to a mirror, look into your eyes or touch your face. Think or say, I am a child of the Most High Creator and I am beautiful. Soon, you will learn to love yourself. Look for what you may add to help others each day and remember, no one knows you and your heart better than the One who placed you here to do your job. We come here with nothing and leave with much.

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If asked, probably everyone would reply that they would like to be respected at work. Everyone who doesn’t feel respected at work has negative feeling about their workplace. Disrespect creates a negative spiral of hostility, paranoid behaviour, bullying and often harassment not to mention the deterioration of the working environment and the lowering of the work efficiency. Typically these negative feelings grow over time unless something is done about them.

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So, what can you do to gain respect at the workplace?

The first thing to do is to understand what respect means. Respect is not adoration, worship or public eulogies. Least of all it is that you agree totally with the other person. That is sheepish behaviour. In fact, two persons who seem to be disagreeing often can have great respect for each other. 

Discover the different kinds of respect

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There are two kinds of respect: ascribed respect, which comes form a person’s position, social standing, age, experience or family name etc. This is formally ascribed to kings, presidents, generals, parents and elders (in some cultures) or top managers in companies even if many “subordinates” don’t feel that they have earned the respect.

The second kind of respect is earned respect, which usually comes from personal attributes. This kind of respect is earned over a longer period of time. Personal attributes likes honesty, integrity, diligence, steadfastness, kindness, fairness, gentle manners, decency, professional success or involvement in social affairs are usually seen to be characteristics that earn an individual the respect of the work community in different cultures all over the globe. Even persons who are not entitled to the nominal ascribed respect can earn more respect this way.

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Barriers to Gaining Respect in the Workplace

Then you need to discover the barriers to respect at the workplace. Rather often these are:

• Lack of Integrity
• Conflicting Morals
• Conflicting standards of Honesty, Diligence and Fairness
• Low Self-Respect
• Too much Stress 

 Typically, workplaces where fear rules or there is a “dog-eats-dog” atmosphere, the rules of survival and prospering are sometimes very underhand. People resort to cheating, lying, being mean, making promises they can’t keep and blaming failures on others.

How to begin to earn respect

You can’t earn respect by banging your fist and demanding respect. Neither can you earn respect even if there are a thousand laws requiring people at the workplace to respect you. This is because respect is a two-way bridge.

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The first step is stopping to reflect and think. Real thinking and not just letting those random train of thoughts, grievance and complaints going round and round in your head, is extremely difficult. Try, and you’ll catch yourself chasing random and insignificant thoughts, which lead you nowhere.

Ask yourself:

• How do others really see me? If you can, ask someone who can and will tell you something helpful about it.
• What are my values? Are they the same as other people’s values? Am I prepared to stand for my values, face conflicts and pay a price for standing up?
• What do I contribute? How do others see my contribution? Are they even aware of what I contribute or can contribute?
• How do I see the other person? Do I really make an effort to understand what the other person really wants?
• What am I good at? Can I improve myself and become even better?
• For what do I want to be respected? What exactly am I doing to make that happen?
• What concrete actions am I taking to change the things that bother me, in myself, at the workplace?

If you can stand these questions and handle them, you will have discovered some things about yourself that you probably don’t like. Sinking into feelings of self-deprecation (“Oh! I am so pathetic!” or “No wonder everyone hates me!” is a terrible trap, very difficult to climb out of. The crucial step then is to make an action plan about what you are doing to improve things, concrete steps. Then write this action plan down and add a schedule to it.  Take it in your hands regularly, daily, every week and check your progress and reward yourself for even the tiniest progress.

In a short time, you will notice changes happening to you. Others will soon notice a change in you. You have then taken a great leap towards earning respect.

Think about the parts of your body that you actually like, then focus on
getting the rest of it up to scratch. If you feel you need to lose weight
for the sake of your health, involve your partner. It they are unhelpful, or
critical of the way you look, and doing nothing to improve your self-esteem,
maybe it’s time to show them the door. Beauty, after all, is in the eye of
the beholder.

If you have a meal together before sex, don’t forget to include the things
that are known to stimulate those love muscles. Ancient Aztecs swore by
Cocoa as the food of love, so chocolate is a must. Garlic raises sex drive
and helps blood flow, while seafoods contain lots of passion pumping
potassium. Even nettles can raise your testosterone levels, being loaded
with sexsational minerals. Try to eat less fat, because often making only
this one change to your diet will provide dramatic results.

To look slimmer in the bedroom, you will need aerobic exercise, as it burns
off the fat you want to be rid of. fat. Sex is incredibly good aerobic
excercise in itself, if performed vigorously enough. In fact, in the 1950s,
Masters and Johnson found that both men and women burn 30 to 105 kilojoules
per orgasm, so it really pays to keep coming back for more.

If you want some sort of marker to aim at, then a serious slimmer ought to
be looking at a points system where 84 kilojoules equals one point. One
good sex session would be worth one point on average, as would walking a
distance of 5km in 45 minutes or swimming 0.8km in 20 minutes. You need to
be amassing 30 points a week. Good news for the very sexually active, don’t
you think?

Don’t forget, either, that intense sexual excitement causes your body to
undergo what is known as myotonia, which is muscle contractions basically,
so the more lifting and thrusting you do, the better the work-out you didn’t
even know you were giving yourself. During orgasm, your body produces
endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and adrenaline, to name but a few of the
natural stimulants involved, and US research showed that those who have sex
at least once a week are 33% less prone to illness than those people who don
‘t.

The girls benefit just as much in other ways too, because their bodies
produce extra oestrogen during sex, which helps keep the skin moist and
supple. They look and feel younger if they get it regularly, and if you
tell them that the French name for orgasm is ‘la petit mort’ – the little
death – you might raise their interest, especially since regular sex is
proven to help people live longer.

Studies have shown that working out a little before sex is the best thing
you can do. It increases the hormone levels in the body that trigger sex. A
man’s heart rate and blood pressure increase, and the genital blood vessels
get primed for action. You may not believe it, but the way you breathe can
affect your performance too. If you plug up your left nostril for 15
minutes before, you increase the air-flow to the sexier half of your brain.

To loosen up properly, and make the whole sexual experience even more
profound, you can really relax those muscles by giving each other a sensual
massage. Having your partner at your mercy is a real power thing, and you’
ll be rampant in no time, but don’t rush into the sex act just yet. The
male orgasm lasts only 10 to 15 seconds, the female from 20-45 seconds. It’
s the highlight of the evening, so why rush it?

When you think about your body image and sex. It’s well worth knowing how
the opposite gender feel about it. 85% of men prefer sex with a girl who
knows what she wants, and the girls almost always like a lot of foreplay.
The most mind-blowing, and energy sapping orgasms are achieved this way, so
prolong things as much as you can.

Did you know that girls like quickie sex sometimes, for the hell of it, or
that your testosterone levels are at their highest between 5 and 9am in the
morning? Breakfast sex is often the most rewarding, because both parties
are relaxed, refreshed and well up for it. The best way to start burning off
those calories in the mornings.

You may find the going tough, to start with, on your quest for a more honed
and muscular figure, but there are bonus points that you shouldn’t overlook.
Lose ten pounds and you will start to feel more confident, and sexier. Lose
thirty to forty pounds and you’ll be acting like a teenager again, or at
least wanting to.

As a former victim of a bad body image myself, I can speak from the heart
about how it feels to get slimmer. It really is possible to feel that you
have recaptured your youth, and that you really can still attract the
opposite sex just because you look to be in good shape. Don’t allow your
reflection of yourself, in the mirror, to depress you. Make a stand and
change it, and bad body image will be something you should never have to
experience again