• A classic night of romance with a candle-light dinner, tuxedo and evening dress, and chocolates for dessert.
• Give your honey some sugar and make Valentine sugar-cookies together…frosting-fights are always a romantic playful way to spend time together. 
• If you live somewhere warm, decorate a spot in the park with hearts hanging from the trees and create your own romantic getaway in nature.
• For those who live in snowy places: Spray paint the snow with red and pink hearts, make your own mural together and lay in the snow doing snow angels! Hot chocolate with some peppermint and a warm fire afterwards are always a plus.
• If your sweetheart happens to go to work on Valentine’s you could provide them with their own heart-attack, when they are out of the office put red and pink hearts EVERYWHERE. Plaster them on the walls, chairs, computer, and whatever else is handy. On each heart, write a reason why you love your honey, it will make their Valentine’s Day that much brighter!
• For those with a passion for cake-decorating share a little passion with your loved one while making and decorating a cake together.
• Send your honey on a scavenger-hunt all around town, to places you spend time together, and places that have special memories etc. The last destination is where you will spend time together eating, talking, hugging, kissing, and just doing what you have planned!
• Send your lover flowers with a sweet note expressing your passion and love. Some rich chocolate should be included.
• Spread petals on your bed with incense burning and when your spouse wakes up have the whole house created into a spa to spend all day relaxing at.
• Make it simple! Go out to dinner and after that watch as many chick-flicks as you can fit in!
• Write your love story together.
• Go on a Valentine’s Day drive with your favorite treats in the car, and a CD of love songs playing.
• Sketch each other’s faces with a Valentine’s theme.
• Go dancing, and then surprise your special sweetheart with a dozen roses at the end of the night.
• Give your significant other one rose during every hour of the day, along with a heart-shaped note about why you love them. ♥

These are just a few different ideas of how to make your Valentine’s Day memorable. I know what my plans are for my sweetheart on Valentines Day! Good luck to all those looking for romantic ideas! Don’t let this Valentine’s Day pass without expressing your love and adoration to your sweetheart. Let the Valentine’s sunrise touch your heart and warm your soul. Have a Happy Valentine’s Season!

  It is that time of year again. You’re starting to stress because you have to make a decision that can make or break you. The stores have stocked the aisles with chocolate candy in pretty red boxes and teddy bears dressed in lace and ribbons. There are rows of cut flowers in vases and the jewelry stores have hired extra temporary staff. There is the feeling of expectation in the air.

  This Valentine’s Day, you can either score a homerun, or a trip to the doghouse. Grief can usually be avoided though quite easily.

  Why not do something out of the ordinary? Jewelry, chocolates and flowers are usually appreciated but you can do better! Put some thought into it and take the initiative. Women love it when their man surprises them with something that demonstrates how much he values her.

  There are so many possibilities these days with the help of the internet. Reservations can be easily made. Theater tickets can be bought. Even weekend flights can be browsed and there are great deals to be had for weekend getaways.

  Another great Valentine’s gift that is sure to be appreciated would be a gift certificate for a pedicure, manicure or massage, unless you are a gifted masseur yourself which might save you some money. Make reservations for dinner or cook dinner for her yourself, providing you are accustomed to cooking. Gourmet coffee or tea makes a great gift if it is something she enjoys. If you know what she likes, your job is easier but if not, pay attention now. Take her for a stroll in the mall and listen to what she says and what she has an affinity for.

  If money is a problem, there are still low cost romantic options. Picnics can be a lot of fun if it isn’t too much work. Fly a kite together! Some ladies love to go dancing, others love to go bowling. You can take her on an old fashioned date to a movie but make sure the genre appeals to you both. Check the internet for local events in or near your area. Amusement parks, museums, art galleries or a sight seeing trip are all possiblities. Rent bicycles if the weather is nice. It is possible to have an enjoyable day on a budget. Your lady will very likely appreciate the effort you make.

  Valentine’s Day can be drama free with some thought and preparation. With a little imagination, a good time can be had by all and some wonderful memories can be made.

I know a lot of people who know believe in the concept of soul mates, one true love. But the idea has always bothered me. There are just so many things wrong with it, it doesn’t seem plausible.

From a biological standpoint, it is just silly. If a person’s one true love dies, then they are removed from the gene pool. That reduces the amount of offspring they could have and weaken the species overall. When presented with this argument, the response is ‘but wolves mate for life, why can’t humans?’ Simple, wolves mate for one life. Meaning, if one half of the pairing dies, the other half finds a new mate. Meaning wolves are able to accept the loss of their loved one and move on. This is meant to be more of a metaphor, since I don’t actually believe wolves exist on the same mental level as humans.

‘But!’ the true believers argue, ‘Soul mates are spiritually ordained, it has nothing to do with biology!’

Alright, but that still raises a very important question. What happens when your soul mate dies at the age of 7? Or what if you can’t find the one ‘needle’ who is meant for you out of the seven billion strong ‘haystack’ that is our planet?Are you not allowed  to feel true love at that point? Are you doomed to a hopeless existence where love is forever out of your reach? Of course not, such a thing would be silly.

Love is not a fact of reality, it’s not a force of nature, and it’s certainly not a destiny. Love is a bond, a connection between two people that just grows stronger over time. It’s like a living thing, it starts out weak and small, but grows into a strong, powerful being with time and the proper care. But, also like a living thing, it can die of neglect or age. But, a new love can be planted. A new being can grow just as powerful, or more powerful, than it’s predecessor. That was a bit more mushy and poetic than I would’ve like, but my point is love is a bond, not a fact. It can be left behind or found again. It can be avoided, if you’d like. And it most certainly can be replaced if need be.

So I devised my three strikes and you are out system.  When I met a gentleman, I will meet him in a neutral place by driving my own vehicle.  If he gets three strikes, he is out.  If he does not get three on this initial meeting and we get along, I will probably agree to another date.

I am not a smoker, so smoking on the date will earn you an automatic three strikes.  Since for some reason, guys I date would have aggressive dogs, a dog or a cat is worth one strike.  I love animals, just not aggressive ones.  I have never learned to bond with animals.  I have also frequently been attacked by dogs in my life.  I have witnesses that will tell you it is unprovoked.

If I tried to “touch” the hair on your head and there was heavy hairspray, that is a strike.  If you stated a preference for not having your hair touched, another strike was earned.  I required someone that did not kiss the mirror every day.  I need the attention.  If you constantly talked about yourself all evening and showed no interest in me, two strikes were earned.

For some reason, men I do not want to date never handle rejection well.  They keep calling me and try to obtain another date.  Or keep hounding you until you tell them what was wrong with them.  Then they will argue with you.

So I learned early on to lie and blame myself if I did not like a guy.  Oh no, you are perfect.  I am just not ready to day yet.  Or I am just not over my last significant other yet.  Works like a charm.

Highschool relationships… Basically the inability to be apart from your significant other for more than two seconds. Both people usually become annoying to their friends and fight about ridiculous things. Topped off, normally, by a pregnancy scare and loads of rumors. Now, it doesn’t have to be this way, and sometimes isn’t, but several different and reliable sources say that the percentage of high school relationships actually working and going into something deeper- such as marriage- is five percent. After you read this essay- however- I am hoping that you will have some insight into what you can do to help that percentage grow postively.

Now, you might be wondering how I- as a single highschool girl- can effectively provide reliable guidance on relationship issues. I am highly observant. I don’t seek out information on relationships, but with the wide span of “Significant Others” that my friends have come into contact with and had their “hearts broken” over, I believe I have a pretty good idea of the do’s and don’t’s in finding and keeping a good relationship.

  A girl wants to be loved. Number one. And a guy- overall- wants respect.

  One of the most important things to remember is to have good communication. For example: I was having lunch one day with a good friend of mine. She’d just gotten into a new relationship and was texting back and forth with the new “Love Of Her Life” approximately every 30 seconds to a minute. Suddenly the typing stopped. I noticed the quiet and looked up to see my friend staring at the screen with a hurt and angry expression. I immediately wanted to know if I had to get my shovel to bury the jerk who’d insulted her in some unforgivable way, but when I asked she just looked at me. “He hasn’t texted back in five whole minutes!” She slammed her phone onto the table in a passionate display of full-blown annoyance, “He must be ignoring me, I knew he hated me!” They broke up 15 minutes later when he texted her back to say that he was sorry for the wait but he’d had to help someone and had gotten sidetracked. I still feel sorry for him. Another argument in favor of having good communication is to not get mad when your significant other doesn’t call you back or when they’re late in meeting you. You have no way of knowing what’s going on with them, and assuming the worst is the quickest road to an un-needed altercation and a nasty breakup.

Now that I’ve covered the biggest issue of all, I’ll get to tackling some of the smaller do’s and don’t’s that don’t take so much time to explain.

Girls: Don’t be high-maintenance. If he forgets your one month anniversary, laugh it off. It’s just one month and if you get mad it makes you seem obsessive.

Guys: Do your best not to forget things like anniversarys and birthdays. Even though they may seem like not-such-a-big-deal, for some odd reason they are highly important to the female sex. However, if you do forget- don’t stress out. Just apologize sincerely, and if she still gets mad, then it becomes her fault and not yours.

  Overall, don’t get mad about the little things.

  Girls: Don’t make him conform to your wishes and wants. If he wants to watch football with you- be ready to say yes and enjoy the time together, even if you hate the game or don’t know what’s happening half the time. If he suggests an activity that you don’t necesarilly enjoy, be flexible. Try it out, and try to focus on the fact that you’re spending time together and and you’re making your significant other happy.

Guys: Be attentive to what your girl wants as well. If she’s willing to watch a football game with you- even when she doesn’t like sports all that much, that’s pretty special. Be sure that you don’t lose yourself in the game too much. Always make sure you’re paying attention to her comfort.

Overall, the most important thing to remember from this is that you’re spending time with your significant other. It shouldn’t matter what you’re doing- at least, not to the extent of possibly pushing your boyfriend/ girlfriend away.

Girls: Let him have other girl friends. Now wait- don’t look at me like that. Let me re-phrase. Let him have other friends that are girls. Don’t assume that if he talks or looks at another girl that he doesn’t love you anymore. Also, try not to gush over hot hollywood stars while he’s around. Squealing in delight over the rippling muscles of Gerard Butler is fine with your friends, but don’t do it around your boyfriend. He’ll start to wonder how he could possibly compare with someone of that magnitude in your eyes. If you’re going to talk about the rippling muscles of anyone while he’s around, make sure your topic of conversation is him. Boyfriends need to be reassurred they’re still loved, and that you notice them.

Guys: Don’t get insecure if your girl talks to or has other friends that are guys. This isn’t a really big issue for men in general- but I figured I’d throw it out there to keep a fair playing field. And the same thing goes for you guys as it does for the girls- Don’t fantasize about the beauty and elegance of Taylor Swift, Jessica Alba, or some other celebrity chick you’ll never meet when your girlfriend is within hearing distance. Girls are generally very insecure about appearance especially, and hearing you calling a thin, world-popular girl beautiful will make them feel that they can’t match up to your highstandards. Instead, let her know that you’d rather have her than any of those big celebrity girls.

And the biggest thing for girls to remember:NOT ALL GUYS ARE JERKS. Just because ONE is an idiot doesnt mean he represents ALL of the male species.

I hope this essay has helped- even the slightest margin. If I wrote a book the size of three webster dictionaries I still wouldn’t have covered everything. It’s important to remember that guys and girls are different in many ways, but to still be receptive to their individual wants and needs.

Highschool relationships can work out if both people are actively involved in making their partner happy and comfortable. 5% could easily become 10%, or 20%, or 30%, if we want it badly enough, love them strongly enough, and try hard enough.

First of all, you can always go out to dinner, send flowers and the like, but I am talking about some different ideas that maybe you haven’t thought of to create a spark of romance between you and that special person in your life.

If you have some cash, you can plan a romantic getaway for the weekend, maybe to a resort or even somewhere warm.  Or if that is too pricey, you could take your significant other out for a romantic dinner (McDonalds doesn’t count!).  Try to do something that you do not normally do.  If you live in a warmer climate you can rent a boat and plan a romantic dinner on the boat or take a dinner cruse or even picnic on the beach.  But if you live in a colder climate, why not plan a picnic in your car (with lots of warm blankets)  down at the beach.  How about going as a couple to a book store and purchasing a book on romance or you might want to go and rent some movies and make a big bowl of popcorn (feeding each other of course) and stay in for the evening.  If you are lucky enough to live in a wine region like I do, you can plan a romantic getaway and visit wineries and do some wine tasting of your own (and get a tour of the winery while you are at it.)  Perhaps you can go for a balloon ride or enquire about a half an hour airplane ride for two.  How about signing up for a class together in something that you are both interested in?  If you haven’t had time to purchase something special for each other, you can do that on Valentine’s Day.  What about giving back to the community together.  Spend some time at a soup kitchen or do something else worthwhile and do it together.  Or you could go to a specialty coffee hangout, get something tasty that you can share, sit, hold hands and talk.  Even if you have little or no money, all it takes is a little creativity.  You could go to the library on a date or go for a walk and split a sundae.  There are plenty of ideas!

If you don’t want to go out on the date empty handed, here are a few ideas on what to give your significant other besides the usual chocolates, sexy underwear and flowers.  What about writing a poem?  You can write your own (it doesn’t have to rhyme; it just should be from your heart). I heard about someone putting all the emails that the couple had sent each other into book form.  What about making hearts and putting them in a bottle and putting things that you love about your significant other on the hearts.  They can number from twenty to as many as you want.  What about one for each day of the year?  What about a message on the wall in foam letters or fridge in magnetic letters or on a giant cookie?  What about renting a hot tub for a weekend?  You can hide stuff around the house and have a treasure hunt.  If you have bought your significant other something well, significant, you can put that at the end of the hunt.

The key to a Valentine’s Day date or activity should be fun for both of you.  Your date or surprise should be something that you both enjoy or want to do.  For instance, visiting a bookstore for your Valentine’s date is ok, but what if you love to read and your significant other hates it?  Be fair, think outside of the box and have a lot of fun.  As long as it is something that you both enjoy doing or perhaps experiencing a new adventure together, you will have a happy Valentine’s Day.

But who is the perfect partner?  How does one know?

Ask most people about what they want in an ideal partner and they will have a list of external characteristics handy, tall, pretty, blonde or brunette, blue eyes or green, skinny or muscular, the perfect man or woman is quickly described.  No one will refuse a partner who comes with money, property, and other accoutrements of wealth.  But few people who have reached an age approaching two decades or more are so shallow to focus entirely on external traits (teenagers are another matter).  Most envision an intelligent, humorous, honest, reliable, trustworthy partner at their side.

What few of the seekers are considering is exactly how they would fit into the couple.  After all, few people combine only strengths and beauty with wit and brains and wealth.  Most of the searchers have a few flaws to remind them that they are works in progress.  For these situations the adage “opposites attract” must have been coined, for it is rarely the case when it comes to human relationships.  Humans in search of a life partner do not want the turmoil and tension of accommodating an opposite.  Those are best kept for short term high energy interactions, commonly termed a fling, an affair, hooking up or a one night stand.  While these relationships add spice to the everyday, few people desire a steady diet of such seasoning.  

In order to find a soulmate or attract possible candidates, the searcher must have his or her priorities defined.  Not those of the potential mate, but those qualities that are most important to the person, that are defining and non-negotiable, that are inherent or learned.  The topics are not limited to character traits and outward appearance, but encompass politics, pets, religion, and dealing with finances, children, and family.  

In order to find a soulmate, first know thyself.  

What gives you pleasure, makes you happy?  What could you not live without?  What do you despise?  Where are the lines you draw?  Take time to explore your personality.  Be honest about your strengths and your shortcomings.  There is a partner out there for you, whether you are searching for a committed relationship or some spice, but in order to find the best match, you have to know what you are matching.  

If, on the other hand, one or both of you considers a deep connection with another person either online or off to be cheating than yes it is.  You and your partner define your own relationship. 

The internet, and all the social sites that are constantly popping up, have made it a lot easier to find other people to connect with.  That can be a great thing. It’s fun to reconnect with old friends you haven’t seen or heard from in years. The problems can come when your partner seems to enjoy their online friendships more than they like spending time with you.

While it may not be technically cheating, it can definitely put a serious strain on your relationship.  If your partner is forming an emotional attachment with someone else online, that doesn’t leave a lot of room for the two of you.  Your relationship can start to get pretty crowded if that starts to happen.

If you believe that your partner is spending too much time online the best course of action, in most cases, is to talk to them about it.  The operative word here is ‘talk’.  Not scream, nag, or accuse.  Just explain to them that you miss them and you don’t feel like the two of you are connecting the way you used to. 

I may sound like a skeptic, but in general, I’m a fan of relationships. I do, however, have a pretty big preconceived notion of how a healthy relationship should be. I haven’t gone to school for sociology (though I do have a BA in Psychology, thank you very much) nor have I had any training in relationship or sex counseling. What alot of my ideals about a relationship come down to is happiness. I’ve been in that unhappy situation before, and it’s not a place I want to go again. 

There are some big signs that someone should be let go and some not so big ones. Here are 5 things I’ve found to  be sure signs that the one you’re with could be a candidate for dumping. 

1. He/She has caused you physical or emotional pain. This is number one on the list because it really is the biggest sign that you need to get rid of them. Abusive relationships are easy for others to see, but much harder when you’re in one. If you’ve ever even felt threatened, you need to get out of this relationship. 

2. He/She tells you you can’t do certain things, like go out with friends or see your family. This falls under the category of abuse in my opinion. Possessiveness and jealousy can be just as dangerous as physical abuse and can actually lead to forms of violence. I’m a proponent of being independent, even in a relationship, and a healthy relationship is one where both parties allow the other to have a social life outside of their state of couplehood. 

3. He/She spends an inordinate amount of time with other people. This sounds like I’m contradicting myself from the last one, but bear with me. While independence is important in a relationship, so too is communication and finding time to cultivate the relationship. If your SO is constantly canceling your plans to hang out with friends or other members of the opposite sex, it’s time to have a talk. If they refuse to listen and/or change their ways, it’s probably time to say good-bye. 

4. You find yourself wanting to spend more time with others than with your significant other. It’s a two way street. If you’re to the point where you don’t want to spend time with your partner, it’s time to re-evaluate your feelings. Don’t shortchange both of you by staying in a loveless relationship because it’s the easy thing to do. You both deserve to be with people you truly care about and who love you in return. 

5. You have nothing in common. I understand that opposites attract and I have known couples who stay together a long time even though they have no common interests. However, if you hate everything your SO is interested in and vice versa, you’re in for a long miserable stretch. It’s important to have things to talk about to bring you closer together. Without these things, talk becomes rare and the relationship can easily fall apart. If you realize you’re not on the same wavelength, try to find some common ground. If you absolutely can’t find any, it may be time for a separation. 

Volumes could be written on the signs that you should dump your SO, but to me, these are some signs that can be easily recognized, if not by you then by a close and honest friend. Don’t forget, it’s okay to move on, especially if it keeps you from making a long term commitment to an unhappy situation.