Sobriety checkpoint in Germany (Wikipedia image)

Guest post by Attorney Monica Risam Nicklin

On October 11, at around 4 AM, an Ohio police officer in his patrol car spotted a car going at slightly over 120 mph. He attempted a traffic stop but was ignored. This resulted in a chase for around seven miles, according to Bainbridge Police Chief Jon Bokovitz. But the runaway driver, a young woman, caught the attention of another officer from the office of the Geauga County Sheriff who laid stop sticks down in her path. Both of her left tires were punctured, forcing her to pull over at the side of the road. This was where the situation took an unusual turn. According to Bokovitz, the woman, 28-year-old Erin Holdsworth of Hiram, Ohio, exited the car wearing just a white thong and fishnet top, clearly revealing among other things that she was driving under the influence. She did refuse to reveal any other information aside from what was already apparent, and also refused a blood alcohol test.

She was charged in Chardon Municipal Court with drunk driving, criminal damaging, refusing an alcohol test, fleeing and eluding, driving with a suspended license, speeding, and reckless driving. But she was not charged for indecent exposure. Under Ohio law, public nudity must be a willful wanton act, and she had not been walking around exposing herself indecently to the public. Clearly, she had exposed merely her hampered judgment.

At around 6:30 AM, a Florida state trooper was patrolling a turnpike, when she was overtaken by a Miami police officer flying past at 120 mph, prompting her to give chase. The Miami law enforcer, clearly a mislabeled one at that point, ignored her siren and flashing lights, weaving in and out of traffic and cutting across all lanes. He continued this for about seven minutes, after which he apparently remembered the law and pulled over. The dash cam in the state trooper’s car shows her drawing her gun as she approaches the Miami police officer cautiously, after which she is shown apprehending him at gunpoint and putting him in handcuffs.

The Florida Highway Patrol identified the runaway officer as Fausto Lopez. Miami police spokesman Cmdr. DeIrish Moss said on Saturday that any administrative action against Lopez will be taken only after the resolution of the criminal case.

Lopez explained that he was rushing to report to his 7 AM off-duty job as a school security guard. Clearly, it was not a problem to him to endanger the lives of those on the highway, not to mention his own, in order to secure the lives of those at the school. 

You’re one tough ass level 4 killer

You’re Shootin’ up

Missing veins

Robbin’ connections…

You Want some-get some

 You’re bad enough-take some

You’re too cool for school

too hard for the yard

Hey, don’t talk about it

-Be about it

Don’t front it –run it

Sink to your level

No I don’t think so

Water seeks its own level

You wanna be so-all that and a bag a chips.

Hay-ee Where u at now?

Scrubbin toilets aint getting down

Level one-beginner

Now you’re waking up

Not missing trains

Now you’re all cleaned up

Not a life down the drain.

©copyright2011 timmccormack

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

Image via Wikipedia

One of my early sponsors told me, “There is no one too stupid to get this program, but there are plenty of folks way too smart.” It appears also that dear old Charlie thinks he is so much smarter than any of us poor old former drunks who have come to look on our old drinking and using days as days to which we never wish to return. He claims he has used the “power of his mind” to “cure” himself from drinking. I too can claim that. I did that myself for nearly three solid years. Yet every night I passed out drink and woke up every morning needing a drink to even begin my day. The mind of an alcoholic is truly a mystery and a wonder.

The mind of an alcoholic has baffled the medical and psychological professions for ages. Make no mistake that Mr. Sheen is just as much an alcoholic as he is an addict. The diseases are one in the same. It just so happens that my drug of choice was alcohol. His drug of choice is “more.”

Charlie Sheen’s life will either end shortly and tragically or it will take a turn for the positive, but it will not be by the “power of his mind.” In my experience the alcoholic/addict left to his own devices gets worse never better. It is only through the miracle of the intervention of a power greater than ourselves that we recover.

That only happens when we get so bad that we finally cannot control everything and everyone around us.

I pray that Charlie can find that power that got and kept me sober for over 20 years now.

For more on the mind of the alcoholic go here and here.

 Unlike many individuals think, we do not just suddenly “slip” and use again.  (Incidentally, the word “slip” stands for “Sobriety Lost It’s Priority.”)  This is an important piece of knowledge.  It clues us in to the secret of staying sober:  Don’t let sobriety lose it’s priority!  (Keep your sobriety at the TOP of your list of priorities!  Be vigilant about keeping your sobriety your number one concern at all times!)

 The relapse process begins when those first little seeds of doubt are planted.  The thoughts and behaviors that result in relapse are like the gradually weakening links in a chain that happen before it finally breaks-in-two.  For example, the thought, “It’s been months since I used anything.  I’ll bet I could use now without any problems.”  Before long, I may find myself thinking, “Gee, I’ve done so well that I don’t think it will hurt for me to skip my A.A. Meeting this week!”  Soon, one sobriety-weakening thought happens after another, “I really miss my old friends.  So what if they use!  I’ve come too far to be affected by what they do!”  These thoughts are known as “Warning Signs” because they warn us that something is not right with our thinking!  If we’ve gotten ourselves a responsible A.A. Sponsor, that person has probably warned us about this “stink’in think’in and where it will most likely lead. 

 Let’s just say that I continue entertaining the above thoughts and pretty soon skip more than one of my meetings.  Clearly, my denial of my disease is growing.  Unless I choose to intervene in this negative process, when I encounter one of my triggers, (example: I see my old boyfriend with his new girlfriend) I may be in a weakened enough state to give-in to the trigger, and “use” (the final stage of relapse.)  My proverbial chain of recovery now breaks.

 It isn’t difficult to see how the process of thoughts and events (choices I made) led to my eventual decision to use (i.e. the process of relapse.)

 Now that the term “relapse” makes more sense, we need to become familiar with the term “relapse prevention.”  This term is a straightforward one in that, just like prevention means to prevent something we don’t want to happen, in this case it means exactly that: to prevent relapse.  How can we accomplish this?  Like anything else that is important to us, we must set out to devise a plan.  (i.e. our relapse prevention plan!)

 So, how to create a relapse prevention plan?   A relapse prevention plan should consist of your own, individual warning signs and triggers (using thoughts, using friends, using places, and using events) that have led to relapse, each require safety strategies.  You may find it helpful to think of this in terms of fire prevention.  In fire prevention, we devise a plan of our escape to safety.  As we know, in the same way that the fire is our enemy, relapse is also our enemy.  (For, as we’ve probably learned by now, there is no problem that using cannot make worse!)  Thus, where relapse is concerned, we also need a plan for our escape to safety.  (i.e. it is necessary to decide upon specific positive replacement coping skills to be used instead of using!)

Fortunately, having an understanding of relapse can provide the beginning of a whole new, safeguarded and better quality sobriety!

 Copyright 2010 by JC Eberhart

We made quite a pair, traipsing through the store together.  She didn’t know any of her sizes so we guessed and then it was back to the fitting room.  This time I got a good look at her.  I would guess she was only a few years older than me, but exhaustion showed through the bags under her eyes.  She was skinny – a few inches taller than me but we weighed about the same.  She had the body type that I had always longed for with a tiny waist and long legs.  Her jeans were covered in vomit, and she explained that someone had puked on her at the warming shelter the night before.  (She would end up with a new pair of jeans from the clearance rack before our store excursion was over.)  Her galoshes were in good shape, lined with a gray wool fabric.  I had seen quite a few pairs like that in the last week and envied their fashion and functionality in light of recent snowstorms.  Under her jeans were tattered thermals, and while she had no qualms about undressing in front of me, she was clearly ashamed by the dollar coin sized holes that peppered those undergarments.  She explained that a man had given the thermals to her on a cold night.  She had a tattoo of a heart with an initial in it.  I was curious about it, but dared not ask for fear that it would be a memory that would set her over the edge.  Her mental condition was fragile at best.

I did not ask many questions of her.  When I asked too many questions about sizes or preferences, she tended to get overwhelmed and start crying.  In retrospect, she made a lot of inquiries of me.  She wanted to know if I was Christian.  I responded in the negative.  She wanted to know if I believed in karma.  I said that I did.  She wanted to know if I thought x size bra would fit.  I answered in the affirmative.  She wanted to know if I could afford to buy her these items.  I simply said that I could.  She asked if she should go hit up people on the street for money and then come back to buy everything.  I told her that would not be necessary.  Of the barrage of questions being thrown at me, the only one that rattled me was, “Nothing is free.  Why are you doing this?”  

A question like that deserves deeper consideration.  She had a point – nothing is free.  Everything I have cost money.  The only difference is that it’s not always me doing the paying.  So for the purposes of this conversation, for me, a lot of things are free.  But with no one paying your way or lavishing gifts upon you, life is expensive.  It requires more cash than a recovering opiate addict generally has at their disposal.  How could I explain to her that actually, lots of things are free for me and since I was using a gift card I received from a family member, this too was free?  What an awful sentiment to relay to someone with nothing.  In the end, I told her to call it a Christmas gift and pay it forward at a later date.  

I didn’t find out much about her until we were in line to check out.  I finally thought to ask her name, and when she told me, I felt a sense of connection.  A very brief biography let me know that she had been clean for three days, which explained why she looked as though she might be ill at any moment.  She walked slowly because of the frostbite on her feet, and when I touched her shoulder as a sign of goodwill, she flinched because all of her skin hurt.  She was trying to visit her mother, but wasn’t sure she could get a bus back by 5pm, the time at which she needed to report to the shelter supervisor.  After checking out, I left her standing by the door of the department store with a bag of new clothes in her hand.  As I walked away, she yelled at me, imploring me with hand motions to return.  A part of me wanted to leave, to cut all ties quickly, but the curious part won over.  I returned and, in what would be one of the few signs of clarity and comprehension during our entire hour together, she hugged me.  It was the closure we both needed after the intimacy of picking out her lingerie.  And somehow, it made the experience less surreal.  

Samantha, should you ever come across this, I wish you the best of luck on your journey to your mother’s house and your long-term goal of sobriety.

The “Surreal Life”

I stuck out like a sore thumb. I always felt like an infiltrator. Just imagine living with 30 recovering addicts of crack, heroin, cocaine, marijuana, pills and alcohol-that now have to settle with very strong nicotine addictions or legally prescribed narcotics.

After a day or two, new clients were asking me the infamous question “Why are you here?” I would always reply with “how will my answer make your life better.” I never got a response. In those instances I was so thankful to God that I never desired drugs. Regardless, I felt like I was surrounded by insanity- (by choice).

The emotional outbursts at times made living with these recovering addicts akin to the thawing out of frozen food. Many of the women would share that they have been emotionally numb for so long- their feelings were practically anesthetized. As they began to defrost of un-experienced emotions, un-healed pain, and un-resolved issues – just like frozen food-there was an unevenness of area’s that were “melting” faster than others. There was definitely a lack of tact when certain emotions were provoked. Paradoxically, just when we think the food is completely thawed out-we always find an area deep in the center that’s still frozen solid.

Group meetings consistently reminded me of the disheartening fact that the battle of addiction is life and death for these clients. Remembering that God told me to choose the “Nest” caused such fracas in my mind. I didn’t want to come to the “Nest.” To make matters worst, my counselor, a recovering addict who has had over 10 years clean time, told me that she has never had a client like me-so she has to make up some kind of care plan. Despite the fact that her evaluation and the computer generated Alcohol & Drug counseling evaluation says that CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) that is used at the treatment center was not required and will not be effective. Also, my probation officer couldn’t understand why I was assigned to do community service in a Rehab center, especially when it was not specifically ordered in my paperwork by the judge.

Some of the clients would contemptuously insinuate that I hardly ever shared in-group. Well I had good reason, I was in shock-albeit my reservations to share at all. I just could not identify with this disease they call addiction and why it had arrested their souls. I have never wanted, needed, nor desired out of carnality to use drugs to numb my feeling. I don’t like taking pain pills/aspirin, I am scared of needles; and my nose was created to excrete mucus and act as a first line of defense for my body. I don’t need to “Zone” out like a zombie.

It mystified me how some of the clients believe in God, quote the word of God; but in the face of adversity, pain, trouble, and sadness -the first place they run to is the dope man. He can’t solve their problems-neither can the high they got from the drugs. And although addicts can purchase legally prescribed narcotic drugs without a prescription from the dope man; it’s a medical fact that over time narcotic medical drugs have adverse affects on the body as well.

Clients would become boisterous if they didn’t get a smoke break every hour. And if clients didn’t get one before breakfast (6:30am), unsettling would be an understatement. One day the monitor told everyone they had to shower and brush their teeth before getting a smoke… all hell broke loose that morning. I don’t even smoke!

Every morning we had to attend morning inspiration, which consisted of introductions, self-expression, songs, inspiring words, stories, and poems. Initially it was such a pestering irritation to hear daily someone express that they were in a “Bad Space.” It bothered me, because it was as if they had a permissive excuse to act irresponsibly. I would wonder is anyone ever in a “Good Space” around here. In the real world no one cares if you are in a good or bad space. However as the days passed by, I would just say a prayer and ask God to ease their pain so that they could have a good day-and use me if I could be a source of inspiration that day.

I remember one Saturday the cook poured the icing mix in the cake pans and started baking them for about 15mins before he realized his mistake. He looks at me and says “this is what happens to a mind on drugs.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or scream. First of all my job detail was permanent pot washer-so of course I am responsible for cleaning all these pans and mixers quick, so he can un-do his mix-up. Secondly, I just thought to myself “what else is new around here chef”. I didn’t have the heart to say “sorry chef – I can’t relate, but I can tell you what stress and impulse decisions can lead you to mixing-up”- so I just kept quiet.

It was so hard to express that it tore me apart to hear the heart shattering stories of how drug addictions had destroyed their lives and the lives of their families. Often after hearing their stories in group, I couldn’t blame them for trying to escape.

At the helm of my realization that it was going to be a long 60days, most of my confusion and frustration lied with God. I knew that I was no better than any of these women, but why did I feel like an alien.

The Reason for the Season

God revealed to me that, I was launched on a learning and sanctification assignment for his ministry work. I had forgotten that I had asked God to give me a new life and let me be an example to show others how to do the same.

This revelation never absolved the feelings that-“God I have never abused drugs and I don’t abuse alcohol – so how am I going to survive in a Rehab.” Well, soon after I realized that God uses ordinary people to magnify his extraordinary power. Moses didn’t want his assignment either, as a matter of fact he told God that he is not eloquent, he has a slow tongue -(KJV). Jonah tried to shirk his assignment. Yet God used him to lead a pagan nation to repentance. Jesus never said God’s work was easy. Noah was an alcoholic, but was obedient to God-albeit the cynicism, mockery and perplexing expressions when building the boat.

It was further revealed to me by my heavenly creator that I will spend these next 60 days understanding what it means to be transformed and receive a new life to serve God. There are people like myself that believe in God and consistently want all of God’s blessings, yet don’t want to consistently follow all of God’s commandments. Well there are people who believe they can recover from drug/alcohol addictions and want to stay clean, but they don’t want to go through the process of total recovery.

The Assignment

From time to time, clients uttered comments that I spent too much time in the kitchen. I was the only permanent pot washer – where else should I be! For me it was a place of quiet time with God. With every new day I began to understand that for most addicts there are deep wounds that have to be healed. They wanted a new life, just like I had asked God for.

During one of the weekly didactic sessions “Relapse and Recidivism,” the facilitator, who surprisingly, always started class with a prayer-spoke about isolation as a common characteristic amongst addict’s. Then he glances over at me. He further alludes to observing me read a magazine during the first time I attended class- “this is the perfect illustration of an addict who doesn’t want to recover and who will relapse- so everybody needs to help her out.” I guess there was some truth to his statement; however he probably forgot that the first day he met me I told him I was there for community service! Step #1 in the NA Book says that addicts have to acknowledge that they are helpless and their lives are unmanageable due to their addictions. He probably brushed off my response as “Denial,” one of the characteristics of a grieving addict.

Sometimes rehab time is just “rest” time clarified the brutally honest, intelligent and loquacious addict Joan. She has been on drugs since she was 25 and now that she is 55 she is ready to recover and stay clean- she’s tired. She told me that she knows the bible has all the answers she needs, but it is only God that has kept her this long through the numerous treatment centers, and relapses. Also God has maintained her good health, a relationship with her child, joy and most of her teeth! Now she has her mind made up and her heart is fixed to start praying more, reading the bible, going to church and to NA meetings (Narcotics Anonymous).

This particular women’s Rehabilitation center was great for those women who wanted to recover. Some of the women had been in an average of 4-6 treatment centers before coming to the “Nest.” I was saddened at the inability for women to “stick and stay.” I stayed in order to see Gods destiny in my life manifest. However many of the clients would violate the rules with just 2 weeks before completion, or 4 days, or even the day before discharge. Slowly it became clearer that despite fear, or anxiety, if ones desire for life is fervent-receiving God’s omniscient guidance for total recovery was available.

The rules were stressful at times, but I understood it’s apart of recovery. The food was healthy and the staff genuinely cared and wanted the best for every woman that walked through the doors. They had graduation ceremonies weekly, which really inspired and unconsciously sowed seeds of love and strength for the clients to leave with. Activities such as fashion shows and hair shows also helped to uplift self-esteem and self worth.

If it were not for the weekly church services, bible study and teaching ministries that consistently came to the center to spread Gods word and provide spiritual encouragement, I could not have made it through the monotonous daily routines- that are essential for the recovery process.

At NA/AA meetings I always felt it would be inappropriate to say anything because I was green. So I kept silent. One client asked me if I was in the “Witness Protection Program” because of my constant silence. I didn’t know how to respond.

The Comparison

Every day living in the Rehab, taught me that trusting in God is easier said then done. It’s sad to think that trusting in God can be intangible even for some believers. They unconsciously desire something more touchable and visible to hold on to. Subsequently, the equivalent way of thinking is sometimes shared by some drug addicts-except they opt to trust in drugs. While some believers opt for food, busyness, money, religious rituals, sexual perversion, or the pastor.

God would ring my ear with these words “I give you power to choose, some human beings that don’t want me until they feel they need me or when everything else fails. The other idols they choose destroy them faster or slower. Idols will eventually come to demise. I am Everlasting, Eternal, Omniscient, Overflowing, Abundant… I NEVER RUN OUT. You don’t have to kill or steal to get more of me. I am ENOUGH, I am all you need. Some realize it early in life and some later in life. I will keep you going – I still protect my creation without them even knowing.”

My flesh still desired to hear another human corroborate my feelings. So I asked God to lead me to an addict that I could query. Addiction was so intriguing to me; I was ashamed to feel like I doubted God. But then again maybe I was. However, God in his infinite mercy didn’t allow me to feel guilty about the need to get another perspective or to “verify” with another human being. God just protected my heart. Well I was led to one of the monitors who was very spiritual; she always brought me spiritual books to read and faithfully woke me for my early morning prayer on her scheduled work nights. Since she was a recovering addict I asked her why a belief in God inadequately cures an addiction to drugs. All she said was-“the key is FAITH.” I knew that! She further elaborated that “we ask God to help us in our addictions, yet we waver in our faith to believe that he is capable. And also, so we do not act on faith by completely turning away from sin.”

Notwithstanding my lack of exposure to the world of drug addiction, I always sensed that healing was taking place in the process of sharing at the NA/AA group meetings. I guess that’s the beauty of fellowship in any religion or with NA/AA meetings. When it’s about life and prolonging it, there is a spirit of God, whose life force is so powerful that it overtakes the pulse of the gathering. And when you get just a taste of it- it’s like you immediately receive peace as well as healing.

Just like being clean and recovering from drugs are two different things as well. Similarly, an addict needs to go to a treatment center, like a Christian needs to go to church to “plug in.” Fellowship disrupts the deception and destruction that can take place in an isolated or alienated mind. You just can’t read the bible at home exclusively or read the NA/AA book at home solely.

The devil wants to kill us and prevent us from getting close to God through having good health, wealth, functional families, non-addictive behavior and by way of fellowship with others.

This experience enlightened me to the fact that hearing the preacher praise God is not enough to live a righteous life. We have to give up something; the “old man” must die. That’s what Jesus Christ taught us in order to have a new life in God. Sometimes a new life in God may require letting go of jobs, cars, houses, family or anything that keeps our focus off of God. Ironically, I have learned that if one is addicted to drugs, eventually you will lose your job, car, home, or family anyway!

In the NA/AA meetings it was emphasized that recovery is a life long process and one must surrender and accept that fact; i.e. Step 6- “we are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” The NA/AA book must be read and practiced daily. One must testify to other addicts; i.e. Step 12-’having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.’ All of these doctrines sound like what the word of God emphasizes for the lives of believers. And anybody who wants a new life in God must apply God’s commandments in every aspect of living- just like the NA/AA techniques of recovery have to be applied.

The parable Jesus spoke about in Luke 8 of the Farmer and sowing seed was a great analogy to help me understand the role of the rehabilitation center-even in my life.

• First comparison, the farmer scattered seed on the ground-birds ate it, people walked on it. People receive a good sermon, good preacher, and great gospel songs; but unfortunately they go back to their old life. Client comes to rehab center-eats well, gets cleaned up, but absconds before completion.
• Second comparison, some of the seeds scattered fell on rocky places. As a result of no water the plants dried up. People get excited about the word of God, but don’t apply it in their lives-so conversely when temptation comes, they fall apart. Client comes to rehab 30, 60, or 90 days-rested but never attended nor applied the recovery techniques of NA/AA meetings. Immediate relapse is inevitable-they just wanted to rest.
• Third comparison, some of the seeds fell on thorns, so the thorns grew with it and crowded out the plants. People get the word of God, but go back to same old friends, surroundings, and temptations. Now they become overwhelmed and their thinking gets twisted. The client goes to the rehab, gets clean and is so excited about it. However they also return back to the old neighborhood people, friends, and temptations. Problems begin to occur and again the reality of relapse is foreseeable.
• The final comparison, some of the other seed fell on good soil, grows up and produces a crop 100 times more than the farmer planted. People get the word of God, press in on living and walking in that word, fellowship, serve, repent, testify, and cut out everything in their lives that weakens their growing rapport with God. They are blessed, and transformed beyond human explanation. The client successfully completes the rehab program, stays clean, begins to work their recovery by going to meetings daily, testifying, serving, and completely turning away from all old ways. Hence, their result is a life long clean/recovery time and restoration of so many things that were loss during their addiction.

Wrapping up

I pray that part of my purpose for experiencing the nest helped make it easier for someone else to “stick and stay.” I did in spite of my non-addiction to drugs. I wanted to be renewed, so I had to stand on the word of God-and completely surrender. I am grateful to the glory of God for all the women I met. They have helped to transform my life and I hope I had an impact on theirs. Perhaps someone through observing me learned to trust God again.

Whatever the case may be, I am reminded of the story of Ruth in the bible. Naomi was so annoyed with God, dejected and distraught over losing her sons and husband. Ruth stuck with Naomi despite her attitude and innuendos. And in the end Ruth helped Naomi to trust God again with increased faith. Everything in life really happens for a reason.

Jesus had an unquenchable yearning to take others with him to God; he knew God gave us the power to chose-not to acquiesce to deadly desires. We are supposed to worship God, love people and use things. I have seen that when people choose to use drugs, they have not only given way to sin, but they have opened up their bodies to be possessed and overthrown by evil. So now they worship things, use people and God is out of the picture.

When we desire things from God, we can’t decide how they should manifest. However, we must “plug in” daily by declaring who God is in our lives and why we need God. The lives we lead when we believe in God have a different reflection when we know why we need God.

The love, need and fear of the Lord makes us want to maintain our relationship with God because we truly appreciate his grace and protection of us. I’ve also learned that out of thanksgiving to God we are delighted to clean up our destructive behaviors and we are free from the bondage of guilt, shame or even addiction.

The “Nest” sowed seeds in me as well. We can’t box in God’s process for making us better servants for his glory and magnification. All sinful behavior can never cease at once, but if we commence to put it in regression -we begin to move higher in total healing. If we ignore sin or think addictions will just disappear be prepared because it won’t- but it will metastasize like cancer.

I could sense that my presence made some people feel uncomfortable. Clients would make jokes of my being a spy. As a matter of fact, in my last counseling session my counselor stated teasingly “so now tell me are you really DEA, FBI, or CIA?” We both laughed. Nonetheless she knew the experience was priceless and unforgettable. As I have been educated, being saved and surrendering your life to God does not mean that we as human beings don’t have evil thoughts or carnal desires. However living a carnal life only reflects our choice to please self rather than God.

I am truly thankful to every ministry that encouraged me to obey God’s plan at hand. These ministries are among many who continue to go out in to the world as Jesus did to spread the good news of Gods everlasting love. “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace, who bring glad tidings of good things!” (Romans 10:15)

Special thanks to Altar of Grace International, Perfecting Church, Shiloh Deliverance Church, True Love Evangelistic Ministries, The Urban Alternative, and Ever Increasing Word Ministries, Word of Faith International Christian Center, BVOV-KCM Ministries and After Christ Christian Center.

I have always fancied the “ What I Know For Sure” column in O Magazine, however it was not until my eyes, heart, soul and mind stretched forth from this life experience that I could boldly say- “I knew anything for sure.” Thus in view of that, “ what I now know for sure… is that believing in God is more than enough-even if you just want a new life. But you must unequivocally have the faith of a little tiny mustard seed.”

And that’s a W.R.A.P (Women Recovering Addictions Program).