We have all heard the seemingly discriminating remarks that fear is normal and abnormal, and that normal fear is to be regarded as a friend, while abnormal fear should be destroyed as an enemy.

The fact is that no so called normal fear can be named which has not been clearly absent in some people who have had every cause therefor. If you will run over human history in your mind, or look about yea in the present life, you will find here and there persons who, in situations or before objects which ought, as any fearful soul will insist, to inspire the feeling of at least normal self-protecting fear, are nevertheless wholly without the feeling. They possess every feeling and thought demanded except fear. The idea of self-preservation is as strongly present as with the most abjectly timid or terrified, but fear they do not know. This fearless awareness of fear suggesting conditions may be due to several causes. It may result from constitutional make-up, or from long continued training or habituation, or from religious ecstasy, or from a perfectly calm sense of spiritual selfhood which is unhurtable, or from the action of very exalted reason. Whatever the explanation, the fact remains: the very causes which excite fear in most of us, merely appeal, with such people, if at all. to the instinct of self-preservation and to reason, the thought-element of the soul which makes for personal peace and wholeness.

Banish all fear.         

It is on such considerations that I have come to hold that all real fear-feeling should and may be banished from our life, and that what we call “normal fear” should be substituted in our language by “instinct” or by “reason,” the element of fear being dropped altogether.

“Everyone can testify that the psychical state called fear consists of mental representations of certain painful results” (James). The mental representations may be very faint as such, but the idea of hurt to self is surely present. If, then, it can be profoundly believed that the real self cannot be hurt; if the reason can be brought to consider vividly and believingly all quieting considerations; if the self can be held consciously in the assurance that the White Life surrounds the true self, and is surely within that self, and will suffer “no evil to come nigh,” while all the instincts of self preservation may be perfectly active, fear itself must be removed “as far as the east is from the west.”

These are the ways, then, in which any occasion for fear may be divided:

As a warning and as a maker of panic. But let us say that the warning should be understood as given to reason, that fear need not appear at all, and that the panic is perfectly useless pain. With these discriminations in mind, we may now go on to a preliminary study of fear.

preliminary study of fear.              

Fear is (a) an impulse, (b) a habit, (c) a disease.

Fear, as it exists in man, is a make-believe of sanity, a creature of the imagination, a state of insanity.

Furthermore, fear is, now of the nerves, now of the mind, now of the moral consciousness.

The division depends upon the point of view. What is commonly called normal fear should give place to reason, using the word to cover instinct as well as thought. From the correct point of view all fear is an evil so long as entertained.

Whatever its manifestations, wherever its apparent location, fear is a psychic state, of course, reacting upon the individual in several ways: as, in the nerves, in mental moods, in a single impulse, in a chronic habit, in a totally unbalanced condition. The reaction has always a good intention, meaning, in each case, “Take care! Danger!” You will see that this is so if you will look for a moment at three comprehensive kinds of fear fear of self, fear for self, fear for others. Fear of self is indirectly fear for self danger. Fear for others signifies foresensed or forepictured distress to self because of anticipated misfortune to others. I often wonder whether, when we fear for others, it is distress to self or hurt to them that is most emphatically in our thought.

Fear, then, is usually regarded as the soul’s danger signal. But the true signal is instinctive and thoughtful reason.

Even instinct and reason, acting as warning, may perform their duty abnormally, or assume abnormal proportions. And then we have the feeling of fear. The normal warning is induced by actual danger apprehended by mind in a state of balance and self-control. Normal mind is always capable of such warning. There are but two ways in which so-called normal fear, acting in the guise of reason, may be annihilated: by the substitution of reason for fear, and by the assurance of the white life.

Let it be understood, now, that by normal fear is here meant normal reason real fear being denied place and function altogether. Then we may say that such action of reason is a benefactor to man. It is, with pain and weariness, the philanthropy of the nature of things within us.

One person said: “Tired? No such word in my house!” Now this cannot be a sound and healthy attitude. Weariness, at a certain stage of effort, is a signal to stop work. When one becomes so absorbed in labor as to lose consciousness of the feeling of weariness, he has issued a “hurry call” on death. I do not deny that the soul may cultivate a sublime sense of buoyancy and power; rather do I urge you to seek that beautiful condition; but I hold that when a belief or a hallucination refuses to permit you to hear the warning of nerves and muscles, Nature will work disaster inevitably. Let us stand for the larger liberty which is joyously free to take advantage of everything Nature may offer for true well-being. There is a partial liberty which tries to realize itself by denying various realities as real; there is a higher liberty which really realizes itself by conceding such realities as real and by using or disusing them as occasion may require in the interest of the self at its best. I hold this to be true wisdom: to take advantage of everything which evidently promises good to the self, without regard to this or that theory, and freely to use all things, material or immaterial, reasonable or spiritual. I embrace your science or your method; but I beg to ignore your bondage to philosophy or to consistency. So I say that to normal health the weary-sense is a rational command to replenish exhausted nerves and muscles.

It is not liberty, it is not healthful, to declare, “There is no pain!” Pain does exist, whatever you affirm, and your affirmation that it does not is proof that it does exist, for why (and how) declare the non-existence of that which actually is non-existent? But if you say, “As a matter of fact I have pain, but I am earnestly striving to ignore it, and to cultivate thought-health so that the cause of pain may be removed,” that is sane and beautiful. This is the commendable attitude of the Bible character who cried: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” To undertake swamping pain with a cloud of psychological fog that is to turn anarchist against the good government of Nature. By pain Nature informs the individual that he is somewhere out of order. This warning is normal. The feeling becomes abnormal in the mind when imagination twangs the nerves with reiterated irritation, and Will, confused by the discord and the psychic chaos, cowers and shivers with fear.

I do not say there is no such thing as fear. Fear does exist. But it exists in your life by your permission only, not because it is needful as a warning against “evil.”

Fear is induced by unduly magnifying actual danger, or by conjuring up fictitious dangers through excessive and misdirected psychical reactions. This also may be taken as a signal of danger, but it is a falsely-intentioned witness, for it is not needed, is hostile to the individual because it threatens self-control and it absorbs life’s forces in useless and destructive work when they ought to be engaged in creating values.

Md. Rezaul Karim, Assistant Professor, Southern University Bangladesh

Many people have been suffering from stresses in their jobs; most of us could not even trace it for want of proper Human Resources and policies. But there are laws that prohibit that malpractices and provisions are there for compensating that damage if it happens for the negligence of the company. We could check the following legal matters in this regard. In this case we would touch some terminologies too.

1. Contractual Obligations: It is an implied term of every contract of employment that the employer will fulfill his duty of care to employees.
2. Employer Responsibilities: The three principal legal obligations on employers can be summarized as follows:

i) Legal Case: a)Through relevant Health & Safety and Employment law, b)Common Law duty of care

ii) Moral & Ethical case: a) Not to cause physical and psychological injury, b) Employer’s responsibilities for Personal Injury and negligence claims

iii) Business Case: a)Business benefits to be gained from good working environment and practices, b) Impact and costs to nation, employer and employee of long-term sickness absences

3. Work-Life Balance: There is now a greater emphasis on ‘family-friendly’ work polices and recognition of the need for a proper life-work balance for all workers at all levels. Those employers who run rough-shod over employees and care little for their well-being are open to challenge.

4. Criminal Justice and Public Order Act 1974 :This Act makes intentional harassment in the workplace a criminal offence, punishable by law where the perpetrator in speech or in writing uses abusive or insulting language or behaviour, or disorderly behaviour so that another person feels harassment, alarm or distress.

5. Discrimination Law: An increased range of law provides protection from discrimination with recourse to Employment Tribunals. Such law now covers Disability, Ethnicity and Race, Religion, Sex, Sexuality and in due course, will include Age.

6. Sex Discrimination Act 1975 (with Amendment Regulations 2003) and Race Relations Act 1976:

Where there is a sexual or racial element to the behaviour causing stress, the employer could be held vicariously liable for the actions of a harassing bullying employee, even where they were not aware of the behaviour. 

7. Disability Discrimination Act 1996: This act confirms rights for people with disabilities. It makes it unlawful to discriminate against disabled people in employment, access to goods, services, transport and education. If there is unlawful discrimination, compensation claims can be taken to the Employment Tribunal. Employees must disclose their disability so that the employer is aware and can then legally required to make ‘reasonable adjustments to work’. It should be borne in mind that there is advice and assistance available to both employee and employer.

1.      Employment Protection (Consolidation) Act 1978: An employee may complain to an Employment Tribunal of wrongful, unfair or constructive dismissal in circumstances where workplace bullying has led to them leaving their employment. Employment rights apply, dependent on length of contract.

2.      Public Order Act 1986: The act defines racial hatred as: “that hatred against a group of persons in Great Britain defined by reference to colour, race, nationality (including citizenship) or ethnic or national origins”. In cases where racist actions and words have caused stress, then the act’s provisions may apply, in addition to the discrimination laws below.

3.      Protection from Harassment Act 1997: Created from the anti-stalking Bill, this legislation makes personal harassment illegal. Instances of such behaviour should be reported to the Police and possibly to employers where the acts are work-related.

4.      Human Rights Act 1998 : The various articles in this legislation provide for a range of freedoms for individual people. However, care must be exercised in assuming that this law will apply to stress and bullying situation. It is not automatic that rights have been breached or that this relates to stress claims.

5.      Health & Safety Laws: UK Safety law covers a wide area of employer duty of care to employees. Although direct application to stress-related illnesses may be difficult, the duty of care remains and employers can be held culpable. Improvement and Prohibition Notices can be issued where employers fail to have an acceptable Safety Policy or fail to carry out risk assessments. Recently introduced HSE Stress Management Standards, whilst voluntary, show what employers are now required to do to protect workers from stress.

6.      Health, Safety and Welfare at Work etc. Act 1974: Section 2 of the Act places a duty upon all employers to ensure the health (including mental health), safety and welfare of all employees and to create safe and healthy working systems. RIDDOR 95 – (Reporting of Injuries, Diseases or Dangerous Occurrences Regulations). Under RIDDOR, employees have the right to report all incidents of a danger to them, including bullying and harassment. Employers are legally obliged to have reporting procedures in place. Industrial Injury form BI95 available from Department of Work & Pensions should also be completed.

7.      The Management of Health and Safety at Work Regulations 1999 (including the Approved Code of Practice): This regulation deals with the requirement on employers to assess all risks to the health and safety of employees and to provide them with comprehensive and relevant information on those risks and actions to mitigate those risks. It also requires the employer to take into account individuals’ capabilities when assessing the risks. Failure to produce and/or act upon assessments may be evidence of negligence.

8.      Employment Relations Act 1999: By inserting a new section (57 A) into the Employment Rights Act 1996 ‘reasonable’ time off is allowed for dependants and for parental leave. This is part of the ‘Family Friendly’ policies of the Labour Government. It also provides (amongst other things) for employers to recognise employees’ rights to representation at disciplinary hearings which must also be convened at a mutually agreeable time to all parties expected to participate. 16. Working Time Regulations: Define ‘working time’ and set maximum limits, although there is an opt out arrangement. Not all workers are covered by these regulations.

9. Disputes Resolution Regulations (2004): This newly introduced regulation provides for a statutory procedure to enable all workers to pursue grievances and local disputes. Employers will be obliged to ensure that specific steps are taken and where they are not, then action in the Employment Tribunal may follow. Any cases taken for unfair dismissal, constructive dismissal and wrongful dismissal where this happens will be proceeded by local dispute resolution procedures.

10. Work-Life Balance: There is now a greater emphasis on ‘family-friendly’ work polices, and recognition of the need for a proper life-work balance, for all workers at all levels. Those employers who run rough-shod over employees and care little for their well-being are open to challenge.

11. Whistle-Blowers: Employees who criticize employers’ unsafe practices at work have some protections.

12. Dignity at Work Bill: Since the mid-1990s attempts have been made to create new laws ensuring Dignity at Work. Such legislation would provide for all employees to be treated with respect and dignity by all work colleagues, including managers. At present there is no indication of a date for the enactment of such law.

13. Negligence and Liability: Employers must provide a safe place of work, a safe system of work, safe plant and appliances and safe and competent fellow workers. If an employer fails to take reasonable care to protect an employee from a foreseeable injury by failing to provide any of the above, he or she could be found to have breached the ‘duty of care’. Redress would either be via Civil or Criminal law.

14. Personal Injury claims (Stress): Such claims in the courts, progressed either through a Trades Union or a Solicitor will need to be able to demonstrate clear and unequivocal evidence that a worker’s psychological well-being has been damaged by working practices. The employee will need to have a clinically diagnosed condition and be able to demonstrate that they have raised the causes of their condition with the employer, and that he has singularly failed to act under his duty of care.

It has so many advantages that writing all of them would result to such a long article but to give you a brief idea of what these are, below are the top five benefits of meditation.

• Meditation helps you improve your focus and concentration.

Because meditation allows you to get into a state of stability, you are able to improve on your concentration skills. Being able to easily focus and concentrate on something is a great advantage whether at work, at home or even when in stressful situations. With this kind of skill, you become more productive and most likely successful.

• Meditation gives enlightenment and makes you more conscious of your thoughts.

When you meditate, you need to place your thoughts on silence and when this happens, the things that are lying deep into your thoughts are what surfaces giving you the chance to think things clearly. Being enlightened is perhaps the main objective when we meditate. It lets us unravel things spiritually. Regardless of your religion, meditation is a big help to let you be in touch with your God.

•  Meditation is good for your over-all being as it helps in stress reduction.

Perhaps most of the people who meditate are actually doing it cut down on stress and you cannot blame them because it is indeed effective. The reason behind this is because when you meditate, you actually let go of those thoughts that boggle you and cause you to worry. It is somewhat a process of cleansing thoughts and just letting that positive energy overpower you. We need to remember that low stress levels promote good health.

• Meditation develops your patience.

Daily meditation helps you become calm and have that positive disposition and this becomes really handy most especially during those instances where you are in a difficult situation. being patient is also another way of being free of stress because you do not easily get annoyed and you have a strong resistance against being angry and mad particularly on situations you have no control of.

• Meditation lets you get into a state of joy and happiness.

We can safely say that a happy person is someone who is free of negativity and because when in meditation you free yourself from worry and anxiety, you end up feeling lighter and happier and more confident of yourself and be in a contented state.

Sometimes we “feel” something even though if we think about it rationally, we can understand that it’s not realistic. For example, I might be overly hard on myself for a problem at work, or blame myself for something I did or said, or a choice that i made. I might repeat the event over and over in my mind, and if I was really true to myself, I would have to admit that I did everything I could, that I did my best..but sometimes even our best efforts still might not be enough, yet I might still feel bad.

Knowing that you’ve done your best; that you’ve done all the right things, and knowing that you still might fail, does not make the feelings go away. Sometimes it would be nice to wish there was just a magic button that we could push and that once we pushed it everything would just be “alright”, and the feelings would go away.

But life doesn’t work that way (at least not for me at least). My rational brain can realize one thing, but my emotions are not ready to accept it yet and all the stress management techniques in the world doesn’t make the problem go away. Sometimes we need to vent our feelings, but venting can be a double edged sword. Sure in the moment of it all it feels good to get those feelings out there and off your chest, but who are you venting to may make all the difference!!

If I lead a project team and we are working on a particularly tough project, and the end date is drawing closer, perhaps the team starts to feel anxiety (will we meet the end date?, do we have enough time?).  I take a look at the plan and the progress to date, and it becomes obvious that things are not on track and we need to take corrective action immediately to try and get things back “on track”, so what do I do?

If I feel anxiety about the situation, if I feel my top starting to blow and steam is coming out my ears, I can’t let the project team see that? Why? Even if I’m just “venting”. Venting sends out negative energy, and the last thing you want to do with negative energy is to send it out to an over-stressed worried team.

So then you might be thinking; okay so I can’t vent to the team, perhaps I should vent “up the chain”; to your boss or your workplace “support” network. A third-party that is removed yet will remain confidential to the situation.  But in reality, what will happen? They will likely spend some time trying to calm you down, telling you; “don’t feel that way”, and then holding on to some of that negative energy themselves. Now they have information to worry about and try and figure out what to do with it.

There is another option that I’ve observed of others in high stress situations. “Scapegoating”. It’s the final hours before a project at 2am in the morning is due and you are scrambling to get the work done. All of a sudden the corporate network goes down, your computer crashes or the sharepoint site won’t open up that “critical file”.  You’re really steamed now because you know you’re going to fail to meet your objective…and who do you blame? your computer, the network?  your company for planning an outage at 2am in the morning? Perhaps your calling the tech guy at 2am and giving him a piece of your mind?

Or perhaps the network is fine, but you suddenly realize your need information (or tasks) completed by the client before you can finish your work, so you blame — the client!  Yes, you can’t meet you deadline because the client failed to deliver his/her part of the bargain, so it’s really not your fault? Blame anyone except yourself, who clearly under-estimated the amount of work it would take or left your work to the last possible minute.

So clearly we all have feelings and we all need to process them to get through our day and relieve our stress. There are health ways of venting and unhealthy ways. The unhealthy ones include a) vending to the wrong people, b) blaming others, c) turning to drugs, alcohol. Healthy ways include a) exercise b) meditation, c) journaling. 

And perhaps the best method of all is understanding that we are not all perfect, we do make mistakes and life is really just one big learning experience

1. Talk about what is affecting you

First and foremost, experts recommend that you talk about what is affecting you rather than bottling it in. Talk about the issues that are affecting you with someone whom you trust and who will offer a keen ear without passing any judgment. In as much as you won’t be able to alter what is affecting you, speaking openly about it will enable you to release some of the tensions inside you. In addition, you can physically let what is affecting you be writing it down or engaging in an exercise.

2. Take immediate action

Take immediate action. The only way you can make progress in managing stress is by taking an action to help alleviate it. Small steps may seem insignificant but eventually has a huge impact. This will enable you to have a sense of control on the situation affecting you. No matter how minute the action may seem take a step towards it.

3. Learn to understand your body

Of importance is learning to understand your body. Having a better understanding of the body’s reaction to stress will enable you discover new ways of counteracting it. Once you understand your body’s signals the easier it becomes to identify to minimize the stress. For instance, you may opt to take a short break as a way of clearing your mind.

4. Take control

Take control. Endure that you are in control at all times. Be certain that you are aware of ways through which you can keep yourself feeling better and making certain that your needs are met. You can engage in numerous hobbies such as swimming and jogging that can help you to release some of those built in pressures. Moreover, being in control prevents you from keeping to yourself. Take immediate steps to ensure that you receive professional help from qualified and certified medical personnel. Internet technology has made access to such help possible through the number of websites setup by registered medical personnel.

5. Avoid putting much pressure on you

Avoid putting so much pressure on you. The number one leading cause of stress in the world today is trying to handle so much in short time. Try and prioritize your tasks and lay off those that do not seem if immediate importance. Where possible, delegate some of the tasks. Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

2) Practice these ways of managing anger: Start reading read a prayer book, a bible or even a romantic novel, read poems sonnets or ballads. Reading diverts your mind and mood. In case the anger is out of hand try breathing slowly, take a deep breath in, close your eyes and breathe-out slowly. Do anything indulge in anything that is of your taste rather than sulking and breathing fire.

Mingle with nature, enjoy the sunshine, it won’t only give you some Vitamin D but also some time to think. I will agree it’s not easy to take control of an aggravating temper. But it is better you take control. That is one of the best techniques forstress management.

3) Treat people the way you want them to treat you. Most importantly respect yourself. Respect is give and take. A good relation with means less stress.

4) If you have to sit all day in an office. Take two minute breaks, check your posture and do some stretching it will do you good and relax your muscles.

5) Keeping a portable massagerwith you might seem weird but it’s a good idea. Massage the areas around your neck and shoulder.

6) Keep it cool, keep repeating to yourself that you are too cool to be stressed and that you and stress are arch enemies and stress can’t look at you, eye-to-eye.

7) Once you go back home after long working hours what do you do? If nothing do something. Do something that will rejuvenate your energies. Take a bath, go for a jog, drink some wine or just read a book before you are taken in by sweet slumber.

When you wake up early morning. Wake up with a clear mind, do some breathing and stretching exercises. If you are religious read a prayer if you are not just listen to a peaceful song.

9) Do not stay hungry or thirsty; an empty bowel is the root of most stress. Anger sometimes invokes us to say or do something that we actually don’t mean and then we regret. Anger management is quite essential to survive in present corporate world and to maintain a healthy relationship with people.

10) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” – Mathew 6:25-34

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” – Abraham Lincoln

-This is the bottom-line of all Stress Management, life is more important than anything,enjoy your life, live it and don’t let anger and stress strangulate your life.

Before we can explore into the topic of managing stress, we must first discuss what stress is and all it entails. This topic affects everyone in the world in some form or fashion. There is no way to escape stress. The only thing is to be aware of stresses, how it can damage a life or make someone superior.

Stress

Stress is the body’s way of handling or responding to any kind of danger or demand. It may be a good or bad experience, it may help you or it may damage you. Either way there is no escaping stress. Stress can affect both your body and your mine. It can cause someone to become tired, sick and unable to think clearly. When someone feels stress, specific hormones and the nervous system are activated, sending chemicals into the blood stream that gives more energy and more strength. If not released it may cause serious problems.Managing Stress Managing stress starts with identifying the sources of stress in one’s life. This isn’t easy because most stress isn’t always obvious and very easily overlooked. Like one’s thoughts, feelings and behavior.  It is very important to understand one’s body at a normal state to be able to identify signs of stress. Making time to relax one’s self during the course of the day will keep the mind in a normal state.Positive and Negatives When we initially think of stress we think negatively, but with any outcome, there are always positive and negatives. The negatives of stress can be minor or sometimes fatal. Anxiety or depressive disorder,heart disease, stroke, weight gain or loss and sleep disorder are just a few negative outcomes of stress.”With positive stress your body produces a number of chemicals including endorphins, serotonin and dopamine which help to provide a relaxing feel or enjoyment”. Also having positive stress works well in pressure situations. Your adrenaline races giving your body and mine more strength and more awareness.Minimizing Stress Minimizing stress is not an easy thing to overcome;one may be able to get rid of some stresses but new one may occur. Some find good outlets to deal with their stress levels with exercise, eating, meditation, pain medication and even shopping. There is no right or wrong way to minimize ones stress levels, it all depends on the individual. Human tolerant levels are very different, some handle stress better than others. Focusing on the positives (things one can change) and not the negatives, (thing one can’t change) having fun and not taking things to seriously, and taking the positives out of the negatives are some positive ways to overcoming stress.Leading a Balanced Life: Taking Care of YourselfLeading a balanced life and taking care of yourself is very important. Without the proper nutrition, sleep and adequate exercise one’s body will eventually fold to the pressures of stress. It is also very important to have normal doctor visits, having blood pressure, cholesterol and sugar levels checked will help to maintain good and healthy body conditions to fight stress. Doing these things will not only help your current physical and mental but will increase longevity.

Stress management starts with identifying the sources of stress in your life. This isn’t as easy as it sounds. Your true sources of stress aren’t always obvious, and it’s all too easy to overlook your own stress-inducing thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Sure, you may know that you’re constantly worried about work deadlines. But maybe it’s your procrastination, rather than the actual job demands, that leads to deadline stress.
To identify your true sources of stress, look closely at your habits, attitude, and excuses:

• Do you explain away stress as temporary (“I just have a million things going on right now”) even though you can’t remember the last time you took a breather?
• Do you define stress as an integral part of your work or home life (“Things are always crazy around here”) or as a part of your personality (“I have a lot of nervous energy, that’s all”).
• Do you blame your stress on other people or outside events, or view it as entirely normal and unexceptional?

Until you accept responsibility for the role you play in creating or maintaining it, your stress level will remain outside your control.

Start a stress journal

A stress journal can help you identify the regular stressors in your life and the way you deal with them. Each time you feel stressed, keep track of it in your journal. As you keep a daily log, you will begin to see patterns and common themes. Write down:

• What caused your stress (make a guess if you’re unsure).
• How you felt, both physically and emotionally.
• How you acted in response.
• What you did to make yourself feel better.

Look at how you currently cope with stress

Think about the ways you currently manage and cope with stress in your life. Your stress journal can help you identify them. Are your coping strategies healthy or unhealthy, helpful or unproductive? Unfortunately, many people cope with stress in ways that compound the problem.

Unhealthy ways of coping with stress

These coping strategies may temporarily reduce stress, but they cause more damage in the long run:

Learning healthier ways to manage stress

If your methods of coping with stress aren’t contributing to your greater emotional and physical health, it’s time to find healthier ones. There are many healthy ways to manage and cope with stress, but they all require change. You can either change the situation or change your reaction. When deciding which option to choose, it’s helpful to think of the four As: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept.
Since everyone has a unique response to stress, there is no “one size fits all” solution to managing it. No single method works for everyone or in every situation, so experiment with different techniques and strategies. Focus on what makes you feel calm and in control.

Dealing with Stressful Situations: The Four A’s

Stress is an inseparable part of life, and while not necessarily a bad thing in many instances, living with it for a long time does take a toll on one’s mind and body.

It certainly depends on the persons and their threshold for stress tolerance, the extent to which they are affected.

When and if things get serious and the blues turn into anxiety, depression and other major mental disorders, it goes without saying that professional help is the way to go.

However, let me tell you what clears my sky from the clouds.

Singing and dancing

Since when I was a little girl, I loved to sing and rock to the music (according to my brother, that was more screaming at the top of my lungs, and jumping around as monkey- but that’s just his opinion, and I know for a fact he has always been envious of my singing skills).  I would pick up any kind of object that resembled even remotely a microphone and stand in front of an audience composed of dolls, bears, family, occasional neighbors or friends, performing my favorite songs and dancing ( eating the syllables once in a while, as I tried to catch my breath).

While most of them appreciated the effort and I was thrilled with the success, my cat seemed deeply disturbed. She would either leave the room, or first, slightly bite into my leg as a warning and if I did not stop, then, sink the teeth even deeper.

Needless to say, whenever that happened (practically every time I sang) I would stop from the pain and get mad at my unappreciative cat for interrupting me. But my spirits were still high: After all, what do cats know about talent!

Now, many years later, with the cat gone, nothing can stop me from singing (we live in a house and neighbors are safe, at a reasonable distance from our house). At home, so far, it seems no one has suffered major hearing impair.  I keep singing, every time I sense the blues lurking around. I just sing and feel the music, and for those moments, I forget the world, the problems…. I just feel.

Whether it is with or without music in the background, I get into the rhythm or absorbed by the lyrics of my favorite songs and I can feel the burden being lifted of my spirit and mind. Yeah, it is as easy and simple as it sounds.

Exercise your body and soul, even if it is for two or three minutes per day. It won’t change the world, it won’t make your problems disappear, but it will most probably cheer you up and change your attitude towards them. Often the simple things make the biggest differences.