Smartly dressed and fresh from work, he was very sober as he walked in, though in a pensive mood. He had two daily newspapers with him, and spent around one hour reading and doing crossword puzzles, among other puzzles.

At around 7.45pm, he decided to have a drink of beer. He sipped his drink slowly, as he continued with his newspaper puzzles.

Tony, one of his old friends, way back in 1997 in college, joined him. They started chatting, trying to catch up on each other’s lives after college. Ken ordered a drink for Tony, as he ordered a second one for himself.

Apparently, Tony, twenty-seven, was depressed. His fiancée had just called off their engagement, just five days to their wedding day!!! And that, after three-and-a-half years of courtship!!! They had already spent over US$8,000.00 in preparation for the wedding. Parents and relatives on either side had already traveled from their respective counties of residence to witness this grand occasion.  He didn’t know how to handle it. He was still in shock. Ken himself shared how he was frustrated at work, hence his visit of the drinking den. His new boss was an impossible one. He gave him too much work with strict deadlines, and he kept him working every day till 9.00pm, and he would work on Saturdays and Sundays also. He contemplated quitting.

They discussed these issues at length, at least offering each other a shoulder. None of them had been a habitual drunk before. They were very sober gentlemen, very responsible, and very intelligent. Each of them had a masters degree, Ken in finance, and Tony in Ornithology, each at one of the top universities in Kenya, in the Eastern part of Africa.

Each had managed to buy themselves good cars, a Honda Civic Saloon for Ken, and a Mitsubishi Airtrek for Tony.

They had a lot to talk about, especially because each of them liked football. English football was their favorite, as is the case with most young people in Kenya, including ladies. Tony was an avid supporter of Manchester United, while Ken was a “life-supporter” of Arsenal.

As they continued with their fellowship, Nimrod, Tony’s old friend, came and joined them. Ken ordered another round, but not for himself. Tony was on his second round, same as Ken. Nimrod, a lecturer in one of the public universities in Kenya, had a lot to say about Kenya’s then political events, in the run-down to the 2007 elections. At 8.00pm, Nimrod excused himself and left.

Ken and Tony continued with their fellowship. They animatedly talked about soccer, cars, girls, houses, among many other things.

Livingstone, Ken’s old school-mate, came and joined them. Ken ordered another round for Livingstone and Tony. Tony was on his third, while Ken was stuck on his second. They continued talking on the above topics, among others.

Ken excused himself and left Livingstone and Tony to continue with their fellowship. They talked about soccer quite animatedly. Livingstone, a supporter of Liverpool, was so passionate about his team, to the extent that the now tipsy Tony got annoyed. They almost got physical, before another patron came and intervened.

At around 10.00pm, Livingstone left. Irene, Tony’s former colleague at work, joined him. Apparently, she had just been jilted by her boyfriend, with whom they had been staying for six months. She was quite bitter, and thought she might drown her sorrows through drinking.

Tony ordered two rounds for Irene. These were two people sailing on the same boat, so to speak. They poured their hearts to one another. At 11.30pm, Irene thought it was a good idea for her to leave for home. Tony objected. His condition was that he would order a third beer for Irene. She obliged. At this point, Tony started making passes at Irene, and she responded quite positively. In fact, she emerged as the aggressor, going as far as fondling Tony’s penis.

Soon they were kissing and petting heavily. They went behind the pub, and, with time, took one step after another, and soon were stack naked, having passionate sex. And they did it with mastery, with all the varieties they knew of, including oral, anal, missionary, lady on top, and rear entry, in the full view of other patrons. They were actually on the way between the cloakrooms which were outside, and the main entrance of the pub. Soon they had attracted a huge crowd of patrons, going to and from the cloakrooms.

Despite the objections of other patrons, they continued and continued. The patrons tried to reason with them, but they could not reason.

Tony: You are not children! These are things you know of! You do it everyday yourselves! None of you can cheat us that you don’t have lovers!

Irene: Just in case you don’t know some of these moves, we are here to teach you, free of charge!

The pub staff noted that the bill at Tony’s table had not been settled, and it had now clocked US$30.00. The security guard was asked to go and settle the matter. He got himself a good whip. He whipped the two lovebirds till they were drunk no more.

They dressed up and paid up. Tony took Irene to his house. They lived happily ever after.

Ladies and gentlemen! Beware that one first sip. It can drive you towards drunkenness. When drunk, your judgment gets impaired. You make poor decisions. Remember, do not drink and drive.

At the pubs, a lot happens, which is instructive. Young men, even in their twenties, have sex shamelessly with women in their fifties!

Surprisingly, when women drink, they lose control of themselves. They can have sex with anybody without protection!

What next? Sexually transmitted infections follow, not to mention the dreaded HIV and AIDS. Needless to say, marriages also crumble, spouses neglect their duties in the marriages, among many other ills.

Solution: Do not take that first sip. It is life-destroying. It is health-destroying. It is marriage-destroying. It is sense-destroying. It is wealth-destroying. It is joy-destroying. It enslaves you. Your life starts revolving around the bottle. You idolize it. It occupies your mind all day and night. You neglect every other detail of your life. You cannot progress in your career. You end up losing your job. You end up being a burden to your spouse.

When you have problems, it is a bad idea to “drown your sorrows” through drinking beer. Drinking beer does not solve any problem. Rather, it brings rise to new problems, while leaving the principal problem unattended. You will not be sensible enough to tackle the principal problem. You will not be sensible enough to do the day to day duties. You will not be sober enough to drive or operate machinery. You will be prone to accidents. You will miss many days of work. You will manage your finances, because you will have to spend so much in buying your daily “dosage” of beer.

Take control of your life! Beware that first sip!

            Is there such a thing, as being too nice? According to the bible we are suppose to help one another, be kind and loving; yet what happens when we are too nice in today’s society? WE GET ABUSED AND WALKED ALL OVER!

            As an individual who has been through this phase of ones life, I have come to realize that sometimes we must draw the line; learn to say NO! And then stand firm. If you don’t then others will see that your gullible, easy, and where does that leave you; over burdened and stressed. In many attempts to make things right I have just hurt myself, by doing for others, opening my door to all, or providing a safe environment for family and friends; my list is endless and where has it left me? Stressed and hurt, that is where I am at this point, and in some cases “not good enough”; it is at this point that I have learned to step back.

 At least that is what I hope I am doing, I don’t want to appear rude or nasty, but darn it stop invading my space. For some they have their own family to care for them, and yet there family knows nothing about them; or for others you give and give until there is no more to give. Then you give more, no matter how much it hurts, or stresses you out.

If your kids can’t take care of you as you age, then this is sad! And yet society has accepted this, as a way of life. Until some “too nice” of a person comes along and picks up where your kids WON’T. I have come to realize that it is not that they can’t it is that they won’t! Why? Because some too nice of a person will take care of it.

So if the burden is too heavy, or your stressing over something that is really none of your business, then it is time to step back and analyze your actions.  People do things for all sort of reasons, don’t let the “need to be liked” or that the bible tells us to be nice, kind, and loving. 

Be nice to one self, and then you can truly be nice to others.

What Does He Want???

               Raise your hand if you’ve ever wanted to scream to the heavens and rip your hair out or throw something against the wall because you just have no idea what he wants. This happens at some point in everyone’s life, because guys, in general, don’t tell you. They’ll call you sometimes, say they want to be with you, but some part of you is whispering in your ear that you should run. Run fast and run far and don’t look back.

Still you stay, and why? Because you want to believe that they truly do want to be with you. So instead of just going on with your life and letting them figure out what it is they want, you drive yourself insane trying to figure out what it is that they want you to do.

Should you call them? Are they not sure you like them? Do they want you to ignore them because they like the chase? Are they just busy and want to call you but can’t? Do they want your relationship to go to the next level but just aren’t sure how to ask? Are they taking it slow because they don’t want to scare you off?

Do yourself a favor and stop asking these questions. If he wants to be with you, he will make it happen. If you want more to the relationship than an occasional phone call and a request to hang out, then tell the guy. If he doesn’t act on it, then let him go. If he doesn’t care about you enough to make the time to have you in his life, then he isn’t worth all the effort you’re spending in worrying about it. So put your chin in the air, and walk away.

First, think about the project, think about the stuff you will have to do, and write it down.

Second, make a organized list of everything you gotta do and starting ticking once you make tasks, this greatly improves your capacity to work, as you feel rewarded for completing a step.

Thirdly, put everything together and present your work.

Good luck.

Tips:

Don’t do everything in one session, divide it by many.

Set a personal deadline, if you have any. That way you will end your work a lot before you are supposed to give it and even if you don’t, you still have more time.

Don’t work more than 2 hours straight. Do short, 15 minutes breaks, every 1 hour.

If you are stressed about it, just take a day off.

              Have you bothered about checking your attitude? Well, by experience I could share to you my life in order to make my point more credible. Before I learned how to take that “can do attitude” being preached by politicians and business corporations, I have to live first my life as a child crippled by asthma and everyday was such a struggle I almost wished I haven’t been born.  My will to endure through that extreme stage of hard breathing to keep myself alive was the best thing that ever happened which gave me a sense of attitude without even asking for it.

              Years in college were another grueling struggle when I was still confused what particular degree to take. My luck of being considered for partial scholarship at the University of the Philippines was short lived when I realized most of my subjects were at the brink of failure. Having been called to talk with my guidance counselor, I got more of discouraging opinions than advice. Well it was a blessing that Aeronautics wasn’t taught at that prestigious university so I was compelled to leave ( I was able to get  removal exams on my subjects on conditional failure and passed anyway). In my guidance counselor’s opinion I was a “non-engineering material” to ever aspire of an engineering course and she even laughed at my idea of taking aeronautics because I have poor grades in Math. I guess she was more than right but of course her point was wrong. University of the Philippines wasn’t the last school in the planet that teaches higher Math and in the essence they don’t offer aeronautics as an engineering course, I suppose everyone doesn’t go to school to learn what they are only good at but to try subjects they find it hard to learn as well.  

Image Credit

              To make the story short, I gained a degree in aircraft engineering and able to land a job as an aircraft mechanic years later. I served more than a decade as a flight mechanic in a government agency with quasi-military function and even progressed to earn my Private Pilot’s License before I resigned. In flying, attitude is presented in a different light. You have to sit in a cockpit all the while monitoring instruments especially the “master instrument” (artificial horizon) which tells you the overall attitude of the aircraft as you fly it. When the horizon (white horizontal line in the middle) on the instrument is not level with the spreading arms representing the aircraft (U-shaped arm in the middle), it means the plane is tilting, etc. (check the image). If we apply it to life, attitude is the peripheral view of one’s being as he moves through life.

              Speaking about attitude in the military is a complicated issue. If your boss tells you you have an attitude problem it surely has something to do with your attitude towards him (especially if you failed to salute when you’re embarrassed to do so). Mine isn’t really what appears to be an attitude problem but I suppose it’s somebody’s attitude ruining my attitude. I have served two generals as a trusted office caretaker for years until my bosses were reassigned that I found myself in a terrible mess. In life, when you find that you didn’t get things your way, there’s a change of attitude to do that until you get what you aspire. But in my case I’m just too old to do that accepting my mistakes for someone more stubborn and younger than me. So in the long run I have to accept there are better countries to try my luck and I ended up blogging to this end.

               Whenever you get overstressed, just try to read the word “stressed” from right to left and surely it’s nothing more than desserts. Do I need to tell you what attitude you need to be able to write blogs? I suppose I already told you that.

Other Posts in this Category: 

Have Some But not All

Identity in Blogging

How I Evolved to Become a Blogger

To begin with, identify the causes of your stress. What causes you anxiety or sleepless nights? It could be anything related to the workplace, the job itself, ill health, constant change, financial problems, or family problems. Once you identify the problem you can find alternative ways to defeat the problem too.

Here are some time tested strategies to help effectively manage your stress.

Spend as much time as you can with your loved ones. Build a strong social network with friends, colleagues and relatives. Try a fun evening with kids, an engaging evening with friends or a romantic dinner with your partner. All this will cheer you up. Sometimes sharing your angst or heartache with friends or family may make things less burdensome.

Different breathing techniques provide instant relief too. At least once a day sit in a comfortable position. Do not hunch over. Take a slow deep breath in and then completely breathe out at the same speed with you take in. Continue this exercise for about five minutes or preferably more.

Another good exercise to calm your senses is to shut your ears with your thumbs, put your index fingers on forehead and rest three fingers should cover your eyes and hum like a bee.

These exercises are easier to perform as compared to meditation and therefore recommended for beginners. They immediately help supply oxygen to the brain and make it calm and peaceful.

Also listening to relaxation music while driving to work or going for an occasional massage will benefit. During lunch hour at work if possible go for a short walk or take a power nap.

A healthy diet also helps fight stress. Eat green leafy vegetables, fresh fruits, juices and low fat foods. Consume protein rich food. Cut back on fast foods, caffeine, and alcohol.

Whatever the crisis or trouble might be, try and stay positive. It may take some time to develop a positive attitude but if you think you can then you will. Reading inspirational books, swapping your negative thoughts with positive ones and staying away from negative thinkers will help you attain your goal. A positive approach towards life can make a huge difference in how you respond to stress. Catherine Pulsifer, one of the authors of the book Inspirational Words of Wisdom quotes, “If you focus on the possible when you experience difficult situations, you can positively change your outlook, reduce your stress, and concentrate on achieving things that otherwise may not have been possible”.

 First of all Men and Women are completely different with the way they feel about certain scenarios.  For instance if a girl wants a guy to show up to something that she feels is important she may be sadly disappointed if he doesn’t show.

You will find that there are many different types of people with different types of personalities and you must know that not everyone has the same values as you.  Girls must pay attention when they are leading guys on.  The worst kind of girl that you can run into is one that tries to get every boy to like her; this is an ongoing quest for her and will be very annoying to have around.

The biggest key in a relationship is to all ways have give and take.  If one person is always giving then that person will be stressed out all the time and will eventually lash out.  The person that is always taking will start to be bored of the relationship and feel that they are beyond it. 

There are many different areas in relationships to talk about, however i just wanted to touch base on a few and look forward to writing more on it at a later date.

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This one question as short as it is has some much power behind it. How many times do we catch ourselves wishing we were happy. Majority of us help so many people and give everyday only to feel sad at the end of the day. Many of us are suffering from broken heart either from a tragic death or bad breakup from our girlfriend or boyfriend and wonder will we every be happy again or a loss of child or grandchild.

The question should be what gives us joy? Hmmm think on that and it may be hard to come with ideas that where the problem lies. Laughter we are finding is the better healer to feeling happy again. Sometimes we all forget to enjoy life. The prescription which is free is laughter. You practice laughing as silly as it sounds but hearing laughter makes us feel lighter and it contagious just like yawing. The Hee, hee, ha, ha then it erupts to real giggles. Sometimes hearing it for the first time you may cry because you feel your sorrows to lift. You may even want to start a group to get together and just laugh and be silly. The sillier the better because you know everyone there is in the same boat and who know your silliness may make someone else laugh and make that person feel better and that person is silly and starts the a whole chain reaction. You may discuss about what what having fun is all about.

Here are 11 simple things you can do make for more fun:

 (A) Squish something. Kids know that squishing playdoh, finger-paints or even earth makes them feel good

(B) Buy ice cream: A kiddie cone is enough to put on a smile without putting on the pounds.

(C) Fly kite: For extra fun bring a friend or your group

(D) Play with puppies: Your local human society maybe looking for puppy socializers you know how puppies can be very silly and they just make us feel happy.

(E) Call a childhood friend: Giggle about favorite memories only you share.

(F) Wake up with a laugh: Each morning when you look in the mirror, grin widely and just laugh even if you have to fake it.

(G) Make a funny board: Collect cartoons, comics or pictures that make you laugh, and post them on board where you can see them.

(H) Turn off the news: You can only read or hear so much negative new a before getting nervous, stressed and depressed.

(I) Stop doing what you do not like: Write down all you do, and study the list. Cross out anything that does not make you smile and is not completely necessary.

(J) Give yourself some TLC: When you are on overload, your time is vital. It can be simple as extra long shower, or a lunch break away from your desk.

(K) Baby pictures always make is laugh how can you resist those cute smiles.

But laughter is what makes us most happy. Just that burst of giggles release the good feelings.

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Even though “Love” is an emotion, it is packed with so many other emotions it can be overwhelming. Since so many different relationships create different “love” emotions.

As a child we have our relationship with our parents, who we love, and as we grow up, we experience anger, hate, and dislike just to names a few. If we have siblings of course we love them, but they bring along other emotions such as jealousy, or the feeling that one is loved more than the other. Usually the older sibling you hate, because they are allowed to do things that you are not, and if you have younger sibling you hate them because you may have to baby-sit them, and watch your words and actions around them. Yet we love them all.

As a teenager we truly cannot get along with our parents we think they are nosy, getting into our business, we become angry and disgruntled because they “dictate” to us what we have to do, and tell us when to be home and we have to ask for permission. We find all these things annoying; you know we are sixteen, we know what we are doing.

Soon we get a boyfriend, we are so in love, and they are handsome. We think everything they do is so nice and they make us the happiest we have ever been in our life. Then we have the break ups, the anger, the loneliness or a feeling of worthlessness. They we have the phase of boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends; or girlfriends and ex-girlfriends, which is truly a roller coaster, a ride for in the mist of our love life. If a boy leaves you or cheats on you, then the overwhelming of anger and jealously along with the losing trust.

By the time we are twenty-one years old, your love emotions involved so many other emotions that it sometimes becomes hard to decide what and how you feel at times. Eventually you meet the one you marry, and he truly makes you the most happiest person in the world, as you prepare to get married, you experience excitement as well as fear. You are hoping your making the right decision, and you worry yourself needlessly.

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Parenthood brings along more excitement, but then the realization that you responsible for an individual, from that point to the day you die, this little person who is growing inside you; will be yours forever.

Now your married, a mother or father, and you have your own parents who want your attention, now you start feeling resentful, toward the baby because your so darn tired; toward you parents because they want to see you more often. You begin to feel there is not enough time in a day, your angry, frustrated and stressed.

As your parent grow they depend on you; there are times that they snicker at you, making you angry, because the things they use to tell you not to do; you’re now telling your children. As you watch your children grow up, you become sentimental you wish you could go back in time, to a time as a kid or teenager; over time you look back and wish you could cradle your children again. If you worked too much, as your children grew up, then you may suffer regrets; or you may not have gotten to care for your parents as you wished you could, again regrets.

Then your teenager comes to you; they tell you how nosy you are, and disgruntled because you won’t let them spend the night at a friends’ you barely know. Your unfair they shout as they slam the door; you hear them on the telephone telling their friend how they hate you and they want to move out, and that parents just don’t understand.

Your life comes full circle, and you look back as you hold your grandchild.

All the emotions that surround us when we are in love, have family and friends; and right to the end when life is over. The emotion of ”Love” never stops; it merely changes, through the years.

Archangels

Archangels are a higher spiritual being, angels of fire and enjoy our company.

Archangel Michael is the angel of strength, truth and protection, he helps us to face and overcome our fears. He tries to help us believe in ourselves the meaning of his name is “He who is God”. Ask Archangel Michael to help you when you need clarity of communication, need spiritual protection, physical strength, need to confront a situation and are finding it difficult.
Archangel Gabriel is the angel of communication, he helps with our life’s path, and he will always guide us. His name means”God is my strength”, he will help with health issues, more so the kidneys, prostate and bladder, he will put you back on the right path in life.

Archangel Uriel brings to you unconditional love, he is an angel of transformation. His name means”light of God”, he will help with any worries you have, he can give you determination, also call upon him if you lack confidence.
Archangel Zadkiel he is an angel of compassion, he helps you to forgive, thus in return giving you freedom. His name means “righteousness of God”. He will free you from negative energies and negative feelings towards other people; he opens our minds to new ideas.

Archangel Metatron is one of the guardians of the tree of life, he is one angel who as walked on earth. He will help with organization, and spiritual growth.

Archangel Raphael he is a healer, if you feel you need to contact him, you might without knowing it have healing abilities. His name means “god has healed”. Call upon him if you need healing through illness, also new ideas or to learn new skills.
Archangel Cassiel he is the angel of peace and harmony, his name means “speed of god”, call upon him if you are stressed and you need to bring peace and harmony back into your life.

Archangel Ariel she works with Archangel Raphael when healing the body, she works with psychic abilities and healers, her name means “lioness of god”. She helps on your life’s journey; confidence if your energy levels are low, also will help with respiratory diseases if called upon.