How To Join the Mafia

With the World rapidly changing, and the struggle to survive constantly getting worse, one of the best things to do is join a mafia. In a mafia you will be able to feel like a don and add a couple of years to your life. This is how to join.

1.)    First of all you need to find a mafia that suits your needs. Some offer cool things such as being shot at and others involve feeling Italian, so the choice is yours.

2.)    You will then need to fill in an application form. Mafias absolutely adore good punctuation and grammar. They also love exclamation marks, they make anything sound exciting. BOOKS!!!!

3.)    If your application is successful you will be contacted. Most of the time someone will turn up in a black BMW (any black car is a mafia car) and drag you into it. Inside there will be a man with a hat and sunglasses, he will threaten to kill you, but in fact he’s letting you know that the funs about to begin.

4.)    You will be taken to a warehouse (where the mafia lives). There you will be tested if you are capable enough to be a mafia man. This will involve smoking a cigar, shooting a gun, wearing a suit, grooming moustaches, speaking with a range of accents, counting to 10 and killing a chicken.

5.)    Now if you have passed the above congratulations! You are now able to feel like the Godfather or even a gangster. You are now underway to take over the area and recruit more people into your Mafia.

6.)    If for some reason these steps may not work feel free to start up your own mafia! Nonetheless being in an organisation like this requires having a good image, so it is extremely that you follow my instructions! In no time you will be the boss and control whatever are you may be in.

This article is a 100% correct and is based on extensive experience at being a don, as well as ever ongoing research coming out of my hat cover mafia head.

I am not responsible for any mafia involved mafia occurrences, and mafia trouble (or fun).

The jungle also provides some of the “Wild Meat” which has become a significant sign of wealth in modern China. In the markets of Guangzhou, in particular, there are cages stuffed full with turtles, snakes, mountain lions, barking deer, pangolins (anteaters), camels, tigers and bears. Many rich Chinese wish to show their wealth to their friends and relatives by treating them to a wild meat meal and others believe that it will help their health and vitality to eat the meat. The belief many have is that eating an animal with a particular virtue will cause that quality to be transferred to the diner – e.g., the courage of the lion, the vitality of the sea lion or the vigor of the snake. Naturally, there are many gangs involved in sourcing, capturing and transporting these creatures, which must be done discretely since much of the trade is illegal, at least by international standards.

Consequently, triad gangs operate across the mountains jungles and deserts of southern and western China searching for precious wildlife destined either for the wok or for traditional Chinese medicine. Those supplying coastal regions are also busy stripping the sea of what treasures may be found, including coral, sea cucumbers, abalone and, in particular, sharks. The demand for shark’s fin soup in almost every Chinese community is very high and most sharks are vulnerable to being captured, having their dorsal fins hacked off and then dumped back into the sea, where they are likely to bleed to death. Again, triad-linked gangs are often responsible for these activities.

Another area in which Triads are active is in the border region with North Korea. The Stalinist North Korean regime is not just very oppressive it has also been very inefficient in providing for the people. Millions are slowly starving and many are forced to eat grass and tree bark to try to gain some additional nutrition. Inevitably, many wish to cross the border into China where they anticipate receiving a warm welcome from the large communities of ethnic Koreans who have settled there over the years in the province which is known as the Yanbian Autonomous Korean Prefecture. Of course, Triad members are also present with offers of high income jobs and international transfers. There is also another form of market demand which stimulates Triad action in this area: the Bare Branches generation. The many years for which the Chinese government has operated a one child per family policy has led to a significant deficit in girls and young women. This happens because Chinese families are very keen to have a son to support them and earn money for their old age, not to mention carrying on the family name and tradition, which is particularly important for a society which continues to place great value on paying respect to ancestors.

Consequently, pregnancy scans which reveal the gender of the foetus are used to determine whether the child should be carried to term. It is illegal for doctors to reveal gender in this way but it has become conventional to provide news of a scan with a happy smile or tragic commiseration so that parents get the message. The exact number of girls who have been aborted is not known and will never be known. Estimates begin at around 10 million and then spiral upwards. This means that there will be many millions of young men who have quite possibly been spoiled from birth (’Little Emperors,’ as the little boys without siblings are called) who will have no women to marry. These boys will constitute the Bare Branches generation and it is clear they represent a potential force for social disorder. Imagine ten million unmarried men moving in to your neighborhood. To deal with the problem, it will be necessary either to export the men or import more women – although some people have offered more radical solutions like starting a ground war somewhere in which all the excess men can be gunned down or bombed or otherwise forced to disappear.

Triads are looking to act while the Chinese government dithers over what to do and it attempting to secure the best source of imported female flesh, from North Korea. These women are favored as potential spouses because they have an understanding of Asian family values, are used to being suppressed without daring to argue and should be grateful for just about anything they get which is better than starvation. Depending on how well the monopolizing of the source of North Korean women goes, the Triads will decide whether to internationalize their operations and they are looking for other countries with an excess of girls who are unwanted or who at least will not be missed who can be discretely imported to China at comparatively low cost. This may involve sub-Saharan Africa or some of the Central Asian Republics.

One final opportunity provided for the Triads by the economic development of China is in the area of intellectual property piracy. It is said that whatever new product is invented and marketed, no matter how complex it might be or how fancy and sophisticated the packaging, there are factories in China who can replicate it exactly within 48 hours. Triad control of this replication provides a significant flow of revenues diverted from legitimate companies into gang pockets. This is supplemented by the lower-level replication of VCDs, DVDs and CDs. On some occasions, it is cheaper simply to invent a home-grown version of internationally successfully products. A completely invented version of Bill Clinton’s autobiography was written and sold to unsuspecting Chinese readers. Several completely made up versions of the Harry Potter novels are in circulation.

Of course, ordinary criminals in China have for years sought to make money by falsifying products which can be sold for money and there are regular stories in Chinese newspapers and magazines about the deaths of dozens of people at a wedding party at which the rice wine was laced with some less expensive filler, such as weedkiller. There was one particularly harrowing incident recently in which scores of Chinese children were killed when the milk they were given proved to be almost entirely brewed from a virulent poison. In these types of activities, the Triad members favor a price skimming tactic – that is, get in quick, make the money easily available and then skedaddle swiftly before the corpses hit the ground.

There are close links between some business tycoons in Hong Kong and triad members and this is presumed to be the case in other offshore Chinese communities. Just like the Yakuza in Japan and the politicians, Triad members find it represents a win-win situation when they are on close terms with important Chinese party members. They have the benefit in the case of China of not having to be concerned about keeping in with the political opposition, because it continues to be outlawed by the Communist Party. Party officials enjoy the occasional nine course luncheon, package of foreign cigarettes and bottle of French cognac. In return, there may be some influence applied in awarding government contracts or else an eye closed to some illicit operation. Whether this is true or not, Chinese social associations in virtually every country of the world have been accused of such connections. Connections of this sort can be very useful in laundering money, since government officials are often instrumental in deciding where and when government projects are to take place. It is said that there is scarcely a bridge or a dam which has not been built with the help of ill-gained Triad money.

Others, however, tell a different story. They maintain that it was the hatamoto-yakkoyakuza. They came first to impose a foreign will on the local people and they have stayed to torment and bully them ever since. They claim the hatamoto-yakkokatanas – the swords of the samurai, who were the warrior caste of the past, famed for their nobility and sense of honor. themselves who were the forerunners of the wore extravagant clothes and wielded extraordinarily long

In any case, everyone agrees that the current name of the yakuza is derived from the numbers nine (ku) eight (ya) and three (sa) which total 20, which is a losing hand in the popular card game hana-fuda. In other words, they are considered for some reason to be unlucky ones who have become obliged to make their own way without access to land or family ties. Membership of the yakuza represents membership of a new family and its requirements for loyalty are intense.

From the end of the seventeenth century to the early years of the twentieth century, the yakuza settled into Japanese society, occupying one of three classes or roles. Firstly, they were the tekiya or street peddlers, whose main activities involved selling defective or stolen goods. Secondly, there were the bakuto or gamblers who worked various scams and cheats in the towns and highways. The third group was the gurentai or hoodlums who developed later and took as their role model al Capone and similar gangsters. All three types were expected to show entrepreneurial ability in identifying new sources of income and often they will have found it convenient to work together. Although these early yakuza worked primarily outside the law, there were sections of society willing to make alliance with them. The most important of these was the political far right, which wanted to see the return of supreme power to the emperor and a very autocratic form of rule established. Since the far right was forced to operate outside the main political system and viewed the yakuza as a remnant of the noble samurai tradition, they were prepared to use them. During the period marked by what is known as the Meiji Restoration (1868), far right interests gained power in government and awarded some official posts to yakuzayakuza members. As a result of the overseas expansion of Japanese colonies, therefore, interests were established in both Korea and in Manchuria in northeastern China and it is believed that connections continue to this day.

When the Second World War broke out, many yakuza took the opportunity to join the armed forces and to fight throughout east and Southeast Asia, no doubt taking care of their own business at the same time. Others, more opportunistic, remained in Japan where they were able to secure more influence and placed themselves in good standing with some important organisations as a result of their access to money and other difficult to find resources. When Japan was occupied at the end of the War, therefore, the yakuza were well-placed to seize control of the black market and of the rationing system. American forces made a number of determined attempts to eradicate them but were defeated. As Japan’s economy began to recover and grow, yakuza were able to profit accordingly. In particular, the presence of large numbers of service personnel provided significant opportunities in prostitution, gambling and extortion exercises. Becoming a yakuza member during these years appeared so attractive that as many as 150,000 members of more than 5,000 gangs were active in Japan at the beginning of the 1960s. With gangsters in such great profusion, it was inevitable that territorial wars would break out and in these years the numbers of deaths increased considerably. Gang members had switched from traditional samurai blades to modern firearms and this greatly increased the number of fatalities and woundings, especially amongst civilians.

The Japanese government was concerned by these events and sought to return the yakuza to a possible government tool, as they had once before been. Yoshio Kadamo was appointed as a special agent to solve the crisis. Kadamo had been a government spy since before the war and had been imprisoned as an ultranationalist along with the cabinet at the beginning of the occupation. Kadamo was a resourceful and skilled agent and he was able not only to make contact with yakuza leaders but to broker a peace deal between them. This led to an alliance that subsequently made one yakuza faction pre-eminent above all – the Yamaguchi-gumi. For good or ill, the connections between gangsters and government were established. Democratic politics in Japan have been dominated by the Liberal Democratic Party (LDP), who have held office in an almost unbroken succession. Since it has become almost inevitable that one party would always win an election, focus has switched from possible differences in ideology between parties to difference in personalities within parties. As a result, it is regularly alleged that some LDP members (and others) have sought yakuza assistance in influencing voters or in providing cash which may then be used in influencing voters by the politicians.

A number of high-profile political scandals led to the passing of a law in 1992 outlawing all Boryokudan or criminal gangs, including the yakuza. However, the fervor with which law enforcement officers have pursued this policy has varied. At the same time, Japanese society is going through an unparalleled explosion in anti-social behavior and criminal activities which have made law enforcement much more difficult than ever before, even if Japan remains fundamentally a well-ordered and law-abiding society. Still, the most important reason why the yakuzaamakudari – the descent from heaven. Most Japanese civil servants are paid quite poorly compared to similar levels of responsibility in the private sector and, while there are some forms of compensation, most civil servants are in need of a little extra money when they retire. It is common for leading civil servants, including police officers, to take employment in the firms which they were previously regulating or controlling. Clearly, there are incentives for these officials not to press their attentions too closely on those individuals and organizations with which they hope to obtain employment later. remain at large is the intensive relationship and friendship cultivated between members and political and business figures. Relationships are further strengthened by the practice of