“Police found the nude body of Zack Ulmer, a bus-boy, in his apartment early this morning. According to the medical examiner he had been beaten to death with a heavy candlestick. Neighbors reported seeing him admit an unknown man shortly before midnight. No motive was immediately apparent.”

Murder is exceptional assault, robbery, and blackmail are commonplace. Identifying with their female counterparts, homosexual prostitutes, or hustlers, think nothing of absconding with their customers’ wallets in the wee hours of the morning. Disagreements over sexual procedures and prerogatives sometimes lead to savage beatings. There is even a subcategory of homosexual known as the “S and M.” This is the one type of gay guy the others fear. Rarely will any homosexual knowingly pick up an “S and M.”

Difficulties
Difficult challenges can come into your life when you least expect them, and when you can ill afford them. Yet there they are, bullying their way into your world.If you try to ignore them or deny them, they just get bigger and more problematic. The more you let them worry you and get you down, the more helpless they make you. A life full of challenge is often stressful and uncomfortable, but it is vastly better than the alternative, which is a life full of nothing. Your own particular challenges may seem extremely unfair, and they probably are. But that doesn’t make them any less real, nor does it make you any less obligated to confront and endure them. Accept the challenges when they appear, and you’re well on the way to overcoming them. Though they bring disruption and pain, they also bring growth and power. Sometimes what is best for us, is not what we would choose. Life is difficult and in it we find unimaginable joy. Accept it all and live it for all it’s worth.

They take different forms from verbal assaults to physical grabbing. When it happens, most of us are passive, not knowing what to do, and were nearly always silent and let ıt pass. Unfortunately it does not end for ourselves or others however, when we do not confront the problem, I have realised.

One major incident occurred in the building in which I lived, in which I was followed and then grabbed by one man who was a visitor of someone.  After someone called the police, I had to file a report about what happened and was very exhausting, however, the woman was very helpful and never once accused me of causing the attack and was firm that this man was in the wrong, she also convinced me that such attacks need to be reported, not only for ourselves, but to prevent such events from reoccurring.

What is sexual harrassment:

Sexual harassment has been defined  as any verbal, physical, or nonverbal conduct toward another person (male or female) with a sexual undertone that is not wanted, intimidating, alarming, or annoying. It includes gestures, comments, touches, and looks.

Why does it happen:

It seems to happen more frequently in places where there is more freedom for relationships between men and women.  In places where men and women are more separate and where they tend to marry, there seems to be less occurrence, as well as in places where womens chastity is respected.

How to prevent it:

We can prevent the reoccurrences of such attacks by reporting them to relevant authorities

Try not to be alone in places where the likelihood of attacks may occur, such as parks, side streets, offices, or be alone with doctors, dentists, teachers or other members of authority who may abuse their position (always request someone with you – insist on it)

I hate to say it, but the way we dress does play a part in such things, it is wrong for harrassment to happen by any means, but we can prevent it more by dressing in modest attire

Be a strong woman (or man – if if happens to them to) and be firm and assertive in what you want.

Also, there is an increasing need for education in schools and workplaces about what constitutes harrassment and how to deal with members of the opposite sex, with manners and appropriation.

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First, you must realize that sexual harassment goes both ways. As, we must question many, of the complaints that been reported, as being truthful. Believe, a fool that blow his or her job deserve to stand in the unemployment line.

But, in some cases, we are seeing ladies profiting, from major lawsuits the way whistle blowers are getting rich, from complaining. Notice, you hear quick about sexual harassment, if the affair comes to an end. But, if an affair has started than it seems to have been a case approved, by the party.

Yes, we hear my my job was, at stake. But , this was the time to use your knowledge to out smart the perpetrator and get the best, of them without starting a relationship. We already aware that we’re are living in a “give me” society instead, of “I earned”, what I have society.

Many smarter individuals could advise the stupid fools that pressure anyone into, an affair. On, why they have never been accused, by anyone. Simply, by the fact that they understand that they are not about to lose their jobs for a sexual tryst and the victim has gotten some moneytary gained. And, if by luck depending on the employer still have their jobs.

Most regrets in society comes, from bad decisions over ruling a wise mind. A fantasy is the best kept secret because, while you like to play the thought knows, in your mind is, where it needs to stay? Who doesn’t think about that one person you would love to have for a moment?

And realize it was better to let that moment ride off into the sunset, of dreams.

How many men would admit of being battered by their wives? Husband battering happens all the time around us but because men are expected to be strong, they are expected to head the family unit; we tend to take their complaints of being battered less seriously and are therefore more sympathetic when domestic violence is directed towards women and children.

40% of domestic violence victims are men!

Surveys estimate that domestic violence against men could be around 40% of all cases of gender based violence and that means that for every 100 cases of domestic violence, 40 are committed against the man of the house but the number of the actual cases reported is very low. Phew!

What causes husband battering?

Women have become more independent with economic activities of their own. No longer do they depend on their men and often argue that what men can do, women can do better. Women have become bolder and more courageous. To make it worse, battered men can not complain to other men because they will be laughed at, they can’t complain to the police for they won’t be believed either, and neither can they run to their mothers, lest they think they haven’t grown up yet.

Where can they report?

Majority of battered men therefore take it in silence and when they meet their colleagues the following day, they would rather cheat that they slipped and fell in the bathroom, for it is embarrassing to be beaten senselessly by the woman you married, it is embarrassing to go complaining to other people that you have been knocked out of your senses severally, that you have been denied food so many times, that you can’t go out anymore cause she has the car keys, that you have been forced to do this or that.

Contrast this with the case when a woman is beaten by her husband. The story would be all over the salon, in church and in the newspapers. Not so for men who are battered.

The dilemma of a battered man

Where can this men run to? When they were young, they were always reminded that they were men and should not cry, when they grew up, they lost it in love and fell on the other side, now they are stranded and can’t run away from themselves, they are held captive in their own homes and won’t utter a word against what their wives say. Mothers teach their sons never to cry or complain unnecessarily. This advice is best followed by the male child when he marries a wild woman and discovers that he will be the punching bag and must remain silent or be the laughing stock of the whole society. He then decides to agree to battering in silence.

How to spot a battered man

Have you come across these men? They have no self confidence, they can’t look you in the eye, and neither can they stay comfortably in the company of other men and women, and they are always scared, ready to run for dear lives. When a man who shows these signs always has unexplained injuries that are tied to senseless and often ridiculous tales of this accident or that, it could be that he is a battered man.

How can you help a battered man?

Counseling these men and helping them accept their situation and talk about it may help them regain self confidence. A man who is beaten by his wife needs to admit to what is happening. Once he accepts, he needs to report the matter to the authorities irrespective of what the society will think of him, and when the report has been filed, requesting the church elders or family members to intervene and seek a separation from his wild wife may help. He should resist the temptation of setting the children against their wild mother. Some of them are bitten, beaten, their faces smashed and a few have lost their lives. Let us join hands and encourage men to speak out when run over by their wives.

I recently got myself involved in a similar situation, where I had to intervene on someone else’s behalf. Like most people in the beginning I did what most people do, I ignored the situation and try to rationally explain away the situation. One day the voices were to loud and the threats to clear to ignore. My first knee-jerk reaction was to say it is his fault for putting himself in those environments in the first place, but then I thought to myself all fallen into unexpected situations. The next day when I woke up I contacted the appropriate agencies. Sometimes when people have been abused for so long they no longer recognize their situations as unhealthy or abusive, and that’s when someone needs to stand up for that person because they obviously cannot do it for themselves.

Image by banna123456 via Flickr

The harasser can be a co-worker or a boss, male or female. If you feel you are being harassed the the person to stop, it it doesn’t stop, write down each incident. If you have someone you close to tell them whats happening. Go to your boss because no one deserves to be treated that way.

It is important to know the sexual harassment policy in your company so you know who to talk to about this if it becomes a problem. Know that you have the right to be who you want and dress the way you want without being sexually harassed. If you become a victim speak out, because if it happens it will most likely happen again, and it could escalate into a more dangerous situation.

You notice, who is looking at who, you notice who is looking at what? The eyes are quicker than the hand and these words are strictly true to the statement. Will we ever be able to eliminate harassment in the work place or society is a answer that falls into the no category, but we can education people on what is ask of them at work.

But some conversation from work or at work do carry over into every day life with us. Many men, when around and if the subject is mention, they can tell which lady co worker has the best body, the best lips, the best eyes, or just simply been blessed to watch, if not speak too. And the same goes for women, who happen to notice males just like their counter part notice them.

The main reason employers don’t like employees dating is because in the end it leads to a problem, if they should go their separate ways, but still must face each other at their place of employment.  And, this should be something that the employer should use as an example to avoid being sued for dating their ladies employees that might catch the boss attention.

Rule by example might work if, the rules are universal and not based on the vision for some to abide by.

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The one thing we seem to do in today’s society is let others control our composure. We alone is completely in charge of our temper and only lose it when we give up the mastering of it. Road rage as bad as the driver who cut you off, we must remember either we was paying attention to the fool to not be involved in a accident because of their stupidity or we want to vent our frustration to the driver because of their erratic ways.

And that’s when we lose control of the situation many officers will advise you to report their driving license to the proper authorities instead of confrontation, because you might not  know the mood of the other driver in term of them having a weapon.

Remember things you wouldn’t do to avoid trouble an example would be, if you saw shooting going on in public would you try to avoid the shooting or dash in front of the bullets. Your answer will be more in terms of logic, you’ll avoid the gun fire because you’ll be a number added to others, who have been shot.

Racism is still a hot button issue, where you just can’t call people things you like, even though the first amendments give you the freedom too, except probably at your job, where termination or reprimand on your behavior is control for the good of the firm. Races today just not going to take much off a bigot without making a statement of rage back at them.

If you think about anger management classes, they really don’t work. unless ,it’s a choice of the individual to seek vountary changes. We know the justice system think this works, when they assign people to fulfill a court agreement, but in reality, it doesn’t accomplish much. Those who assigned know , they must complete the classes or face another resolution that’s not going to be kinder to them.

Once off paper you’re back to voicing your opinions against any comment that’s thrown your way. If anything it can do is teach you about personal control in certain situations that might be volatile.