Image via Wikipedia | More pricks than a dart board, that’s our Wilma Proops

About Wilma Proops and her Men Expertise

Wilma Proops is a man expert. She has been married six times, widowed four times and divorced twice. She has cohabited with more men than there are diamonds in the queen of England’s tiara and dated more men than there are pricks in a dartboard. In other words, when it comes to advice about men, Wilma Proops knows what she is talking about. One of her specialties is spotting immature men a mile off!

We asked Wilma Proops to give us some advice on spotting immature men

“An immature man will not allow you to have your own way. He’ll decide how it should be and then stick to it. He’ll be contrary and the way he wants it will never coincide with yours. He will act like a very spoilt child and do as much as possible to make life hard for you. He’ll be the same in a group too and will take decisions for the group without consulting them first. Yes, one of the biggest signs that you are dealing with an immature man is his unilateralist ways”.

Anything else?

“Usually an immature man is the result of his mother. His mother has done everything for him and often favoured him over female siblings. He might say he is not a sexist but that doesn’t mean that he is anything but a sexist. He will actually believe that women like looking after him and going to a lot of trouble and sacrifice to do so. So, a way of spotting an immature man is to make enquiries about his relationship with his mother”.

Anything else?

“Immature men are usually idle. They don’t like housework, cooking, shopping, gardening or anything active (unless they are into sport when they are younger). This stems from the way their mother treated them. They were kept clean, comfortable and well fed while their mother did it all for them”.

Anything else?

“Yes, immature men are often stupid and more often uneducated. This is because their mother could not learn for them and, although she probably did most of his course-work, his mother could not study, revise and site exams for him and, as he was too busy being idle, he could not do anything for himself”.

Anything else?

“Spoilt, selfish, idle and nasty, that’s how I’d summarise the typical immature man. My last piece of advice to women and men starting a relationship is to look out for these signs and get out while you can. Immature men can change but they will not do that while they are living at home with their mother (obviously) but nor while living with a partner they can treat as they did their mother. Immature men have to grow up and the only way they can do that is if they live independently for at least five years”.

For more advice from Wilma Proops click here to visit her website.

Many of them don’t live alone by choice. Death, an unwanted divorce, or never having found the “right person”, has left them to face the pressures of life on their own.

Three Major Categories of those who Walk Alone

The Unmarried

Many men and women take the deliberate choice to remain single – and they are happy with it. Some choose to walk alone for physical problems, fear of sexual relationship, and apprehension about the total commitment that marriage demands the life of unmarried singles carries with it certain dangers, first is that of WITHDRAWAL. The one who withdraws himself/herself from people is inclined to lose perspective on life in general. SELFISHNESS is the second. Accustomed to making choices for herself/himself, he/she decides alone how the money and time is spent. PURPOSELESSNESS is the third, because this single has no children, no marital partner and he/she is readily able to satisfy material needs, one finds it easy to drift through life without moving toward any meaningful goals.
It’s wrong to categorize singles as losers, misfits, or abnormal. They are people with needs – just like anyone else.

The Divorced

Every person who has ever been divorced can testify to the severe pain and heartache involved. There’s anguish in being rejected by the one to whom you’ve entrusted your love and life. The loneliness, fear and hurt are deep and real. The divorced person often is convinced that he/she could never be happy again.

There are 3 stages in rebounding from a divorce:

• The Shock Stage. You are numb from the experience; your emotions seem powerless to handle it. You are in no condition to make any lifelong decisions. Most of the time, you are simply going through the motions, making time until you can gather your thoughts and feelings are able to face reality once again.
• The Adjustment Stage. Here, you begin to accept the realities of your situation. You have become aware that life must go on, though it seems impossible. You learn to cope with emotional wounds. You’re more realistic about finances, the educational needs of your children and your own vocation.
• The Growth Stage. You become positive about managing your own affairs and do better and better at becoming the mature, well adjusted person you’d like to be.

During these 3 stage process of adjustment, you gradually became aware of the things you must do to make life meaningful and enjoyable and begin to do something about them.

The Widowed

The adjustment to living alone can be made easier by the following suggestions:

1. Express your Grief. For those who mourn, such emotional release brings peace and the ability to accept the loss with some degree of dignity and composure. Occasionally, however, the surviving wife or husband keep their feelings bottled up inside. They maintained composure in the memorial service. But after a few weeks or months, they go to pieces.
2. Acknowledge that Life goes on. When a love one is taken by death, life oftentimes, seems to lose all meaning for the survivor. This is the time that you must discipline yourself to recognize that life goes on. Each new day offers you fresh challenges. There’s work to be done, children to be cared for and nurtured, and many, many more.
3. Accept your New Role. The sooner the surviving spouse see and accept their new role – as walking through life alone – the sooner they can adjust to it.
4. Re-enter Society. Decide to become involved with your friends and relatives, to enter into society again. As you relax and enjoy such occasions, your grief will begin to fade. You’ll be soon find life more much brighter.

If you are one who walks alone, as you follow these suggestions, you will not only benefit from these, but also your loved one.

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Give them a call

Many elderly people do not hear from people as much as they used to in their youth. Just a brief phone call to see how they are getting along can really lift their day and make them feel valued. If you live far away from grandparents, this may be the best option. It can also help alert you to any problems if you make the effort to call.

Visit the elderly

Do you have grandparents or know of any other elderly people who might appreciate a visit? Then take the initiative and pay them a visit. Many elderly people are housebound due to illness or immobility, so they might not be able to get out and about as much as they would like. You will be surprised to see the joy on their faces as they welcome you into their home, just because you have made the effort to visit. Even if you can only spare a few minutes of your time, try to visit and let them know you are thinking of them. Growing older does not take away a person’s need to socialize and have a friendly chat. The need for companionship actually seems to increase, rather than lessen, with age. Elderly people often admit that they are very lonely, especially if they are widowed and are living on their own. Just imagine spending year after year alone with hardly any visitors. It’s a dreadful thought.

Treat the elderly with respect

Do not assume that a person who is elderly has lost all their faculties and needs to be treated as a child. They have lived a lot longer than the younger generation and they deserve our utmost respect. Even if you do not know of anyone elderly within your own family, treat elderly people who are strangers with respect. You can do this by holding the door open for them to enter a shop before you and giving up your seat to them if they need it on the bus or train. A younger person tends to be fitter and stronger, whereas elderly people are more likely to have health problems and will need to rest more. This is a simple, but courteous act, that will be appreciated.

Take them out

An elderly person may not have the use of a car any longer if their eyesight has deteriorated or because of some other reason. So think about practical ways that you can help them, such as taking them shopping. If they are unable to go with you, ask them to make a shopping list and shop for them. Also, consider doctor’s visits. Many elderly people need to visit the doctor more so than when they were younger. They will need help to go to the doctor’s and then to pick up their prescription afterwards.

These are all practical ways that you can help someone who is elderly. They may seem like insignificant acts, but to a person who is old and frail, this can be seen as great acts of kindness. Elderly people are not useless. They still serve a useful purpose in society and do much to enhance your own life as well. I have benefited a great deal from the advice and friendship of elderly people, even though I am in my 20s. I have found many of them to be kind, warm and loving people.