Isn’t that reaction a little over the top? Initialisms like that have been around a lot longer than texting. We all know the necessity of texting abbreviations, even if we don’t text. I, for one, text as little as I can get away with. The idea of producing 26 letters by repeatedly punching 8 of  the 10 number keys doesn’t appeal. I have a hard enough time getting the letters I want using a regular keyboard.

For texting to work at all, texters had to devise shortcuts (txtrs hd 2 devise shrtcts?) And not only texting. Instant messaging, chat, and Twitter demand either fairly rapid typing or dealing with limited character allowances. Some handy initialisms like FYI already existed, and soon texters etc. made up more. I suspect that it became a game. Who can make the most obscure texting abbreviation and have it become viral? “That’s funny” shortened to LOL, which then lengthened to the more obscure ROTFL. The spirit of one-upmanship produced ROTFLMAO. The original point of communicating with short abbreviations seems to have gotten lost in the process.

Anyone committing floccinaucinihilipilification now? (I love using that in a sentence. It means the act of esteeming as worthless.) That monstrosity came about by the same process as the longest and most obscure texting abbreviations. Apparently when the general public learned that the OED was in progress, some people decided to see who could make up the longest word that would get an entry. Floccinaucinihilipilification won. It’s not hard to find longer words. Chemical names go to hundreds of letters, but they’re way too technical for a general reference work like OED.

Language can be a tool for communication, a tool for obfuscating, or a way of playing games. OED, one of whose functions is to keep a record of the development of the English language, has recorded both of these games in all apparent seriousness. Surely, though, the original editor had his tongue firmly planted in his cheek as he approved an entry for floccinaucinihilipilification. A similar spirit of fun at least in part explains how texting abbreviations got there. If civilization does collapse, initialisms in the OED

Image via CrunchBase

will have nothing to do with it.

“Time flies like an arrow; Fruit flies like a banana.”

This is an example of a ‘Garden path sentence’. This basically means it takes the reader up one path of reading, but then forces the to re-read it in order to derive the correct meaning as it ceases to make sense. In this case:

It could mean that time travels in the same manner as an arrow through the air, whilst if you were to throw fruit it would travel like a banana (a piece of fruit.

OR

It could mean that Time flies (an insect) like arrows, whereas fruit flies (an insect) like bananas.

Another example:

That that is is that that is not is not is that it it is

This one is really quite simple. It’s all about the PUNCTUATION.

It could be: That that is, is. That that is not, it not. Is that it? It is.

Or: That that is is that that is. Not is not. Is that it? It is.

Or: That “that is” is that “that i not” is not. Is that is? It is.

I could go on forever with that one, mostly it creates examples of philosophical movements and ideas.

It was and I said not are and and and are are different. (”It was ‘and’ I said, not ‘are,’ and ‘and’ and ‘are’ are different.”)

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

This can be cleared up by changing the sentence via homonyms:

Buffalo bison Buffalo bison bully bully Buffalo bison.

“DAYS  OF  LAURA  INGALLS  WILDER” (By the way, that is a book series).

“DAYS  OF  LAURA  INGALLS  WILDER”. Hidden in that phrase is the words “YOUR  ANSWER.” You will also be given clues in the form of puns.

So here is the Christmas carol quiz:

(1)   A  JOURNEY  TO  THE  OTHER  WORLDS

Think of a Christmas carol that makes Heaven and nature sing. I guess you will enjoy this easy one. The whole title is not too hidden in the given phrase.

(2)   ITALIAN  SOCIAL  MOVEMENT  NATIONAL  RIGHT

You may need to have everything quiet around you to concentrate on this one. The whole title is in there – somewhere. You will not get it overnight. Or maybe you will.

(3)   BEWARE  THE  GREEKS  BEARING  GIFTS

That hint is way too close to the words in the song. You may get it at once depending on your orientation.

(4)   WHAT  DO  YOU  DO  WITH  A  DRUNKEN  SAILOR?

The last part of the title of this carol is “what I hear?” What are the first three words of the title? You do not need more hints, do you?

(5)   GEOFFREY  ST. GEORGE  SHILLINGTON  CATHER

This hint is an actual person. The last word in the title of the carol is “mountain.” What are the first four words? I tell you that it is not as hard as it looks. I can foretell that some will be stumped though.

(6)   GODFREY  STANLEY  WILBEE

Yes, another hint that is a real person. The title of the Christmas carol ends with “merry gentlemen.” What are the first three words? That is all I can say. It is so easy you can rest on your laurels for this one.

(7)   DISMISSAL  WITH  PREJUDICE

This short title ends with the word “ships.” What are the first three words? At least I think it is three? Tell me how much you see. By the way, anywhere I see prejudice it is an eyesore to me.

(8)   AN  OLD  RAINCOAT  WON’T  EVER  LET  YOU  DOWN

I am not sure how true that statement is but I am sure it will help a little in any town you live in. Yes, it will help a little. You can go to town on this one when I tell you that the last part of the carol’s title is “of Bethlehem.” What are the first three words?

(9)   BEIJING  DIALECT and EMBELLISH

Sorry but for the whole title of the carol to fit I needed two separate phrase clues. Who knows, maybe I made it easier? Does any word here ring a bell?

(10)                       CONCACAF  WOMEN  PRE-OLYMPIC  TOURNAMENT

The additional hint is that this carol’s title ends with the name “Emmanuel.” I guess you might get the first four words automatically now. O come on, it’s easy.

If this quiz was a give-away, well, it is Christmas – my gift to you. If it was not, it is still a gift. Unwrap it or, in this case, unravel it.

THE  ANSWERS

Stop. If you have not yet finished the quiz you are not allowed beyond this point.

(1)   A  JOURNEY  TO  THE  OTHER  WORLDS – JOY  TO  THE  WORLD.

This carol makes “Heaven and nature sing” as I said. That is a repeated line of the carol.

(2)   ITALIAN  SOCIAL  MOVEMENT  NATIONAL  RIGHT -  SILENT  NIGHT

No wonder I said that you need “everything quiet around you to concentrate on this one” and that “You will not get it overnight. Or maybe you will.”

(3)   BEWARE  THE  GREEKS  BEARING  GIFTS  -  WE  THREE KINGS

I said “That hint is way too close to the words in the song.” In the very first stanza the song says “Bearing gifts we travel so far.” I also said that you may get it at once depending on your “orientation” alluding to “We Three Kings of Orient are.”

(4)   WHAT  DO  YOU  DO  WITH  A  DRUNKEN  SAILOR?  -  DO  YOU  HEAR (WHAT  I  HEAR)?

I stated that the last part of the title of this carol is “what I hear?” I used the first two words of the answer in two different ways by saying “You do not need more hints, do you? The first hint was really the hint though.

(5)   GEOFFREY  ST. GEORGE  SHILLINGTON  CATHER – GO  TELL  IT  ON  THE  (MOUNTAIN).

I said that the last word in the title of the carol is “mountain.” The I used the main word in the answer by saying, “I tell you that it is not as hard as it looks. I can foretell that some will be stumped though.”

(6)   GODFREY  STANLEY  WILBEE – GOD  REST  YE  (MERRY  GENTLEMEN).

I stated that the title of the Christmas carol ends with “merry gentlemen.” No wonder I said that it is so easy you can rest on your laurels for this one.”

(7)   DISMISSAL  WITH  PREJUDICE – I  SAW  THREE  (SHIPS).

I mentioned that this title ends with the word “ships.” I then asked “What are the first three words? At least I think it is three? Tell me how much you see. By the way, anywhere I see prejudice it is an EYESORE to me.” Yes, eyesore is “I saw.”

(8)   AN  OLD  RAINCOAT  WON’T  EVER  LET  YOU  DOWN – O  LITTLE  TOWN  (OF  BETHLEHEM).

I noted that an old raincoat will help “a little in any town you live in. Yes, it will help a little. You can go to town on this one when I tell you that the last part of the carol’s title is “of Bethlehem.” What are the first three words?”

(9)   BEIJING  DIALECT and EMBELLISH – JINGLE and BELLS

No wonder I said “Does any word here ring a bell?”

(10)                       CONCACAF  WOMEN  PRE-OLYMPIC  TOURNAMENT  – O  COME,  O  COME (EMMANUEL).

After giving the hint of “Emmanuel” being the last word I said “O come on, it’s easy.”

Merry Christmas! May you not throw away baby Jesus with the bathwater!

For similar quizzes see: 

Do you want to write online? Why not join Triond here:

Triond – Publish Writing, Poetry, Music, Video & Content Online

Take The Trionder’s Triond Quiz on Seven Top Content Writers | Writinghood

Take The Content Writing Sites Quiz | Writinghood

For a message of hope see:

Mnemonic – Remembering The Promises of God to Comfort Us in Our Trials | Relijournal

Even the very definition of sarcasm, given by standard dictionaries is clear enough, that is sarcasm is used to wound people.

Humor is “the ability to see the funny or amusing quality of something or somebody”.

Humor takes many forms in literature and satire is one among them. The definition of satire is “the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule or the like in exposing, denouncing or deriding vice or folly.

Wit is “the ability to use words in a clever or amusing way and it can be the skill of delivering a quip or a repartee”.

In literature, sarcasm is a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule (On-line dictionary). Nowhere in literature is sarcasm marked as a great form of humor. It is obvious that laughing at other’s hurt is a puerile form of humor.

Why do we use euphemisms? Why do we say “passed away” instead of”died”? Why do we use inoffensive words in place of offensive or possibly offensive words? Shall we say that we want to avoid hurt caused by our language? It is civilization.

Why should a person ridicule someone without provocation? Surely a person in his normal senses will not do it. We do not need citations to prove that the hurt is transferred through sarcastic remarks. All psychologists agree that hurt transferring restores emotional balance.

Sarcasm may be a product of wit; but wit can never be a product of sarcasm. This is simple deduction from the above definitions.

Is a sarcastic person considered humorous by all? Intelligent people hesitate to use cutting remarks even though they may be adept in concealing them in word play. It may be used as a defense against rude people. One cannot say sarcastic people are intelligent; only, they specialize in that kind of word play.

Specializing in talk to wound people can never be considered normal and far from wit!

My article “Think you are great in sarcasm? Think again” stresses just this.

Some millenia later, somewhere in the middle east, the Egyptians had evolved into a high culture, and their writings had evolved along with them. Hieroglyphics were the language of this era, then we skip another few hundred years, and we find ourselves in Rome, and strange things are forcing their way into a Romans mind, they were called letters, he kept his minds eye on these letters and counted twenty six of them in all, one day he decided that he would put these down on paper, or papyrus, so as they appeared in his mind he wrote them down, he wondered what to call this collection of new symbols, the Greeks had something a bit like this and they called it an alphabet, he thought to himself well I’m Roman, so I’ll call it the Roman alphabet, and this is how we got the alphabet that is used throughout the western world today. The letters weren’t content though, being on their own, so they started to socialise, mixing with other letters, in small groups called words, as time went by these small groups became larger, words like to and day would form alliances to make even bigger words, words themselves, became discontent, and they started mingling with other words, and they formed themselves into sentences. Words written in the Roman alphabet, didn’t want to stay in Rome, so they wormed their way into the minds of leaders, making them think of things like conquest. The roman armies marched, and with them went the words, they began to translate themselves with every new land the Romans conquered, as the Romans got stronger the words had to keep one step in front, they started by forming themselves into paragraphs, the books, they put themselves in the minds of powerful men, presenting themselves as books on warfare, the tactics of siege, etc. when they were chilling out after a good conquest, words and letters would get into the minds of men in the form of stories, or poetry, or do it yourself manuals and recipe books. In the not too distant past words tired of being in books, after all that’s the media they had been stuck with for the last couple of thousand years. Once again they started to infiltrate the minds of men, scientists and technicians in particular guiding them to developed computers, once the computer was established, words decided on world domination, so they implanted the Internet into the minds of developers, and brought about the Internet. You can believe this story or believe it not, if you don’t believe, then I will ask you this question, what do you see when you look at your key board? yes letters. Letters that jump of the keyboard and into your mind, they jump into your mind and start forming words, then they urge you to press the keys in a certain order, this article is living proof, at least that’s what the words told me to say. Never again under estimate the power of the written word.

for more funny stories follow these links

www.socyberty.com/folklore/knotted-things.653501

www.purpleslinky.com/offbeat/socks-where-do-they-go.623899

www.purpleslinky.com/humour/lost-and-found.621847

www.authspot.com/journals/dogs.629997

But how often do we use sorry in this context? not too often I think. How often do we use sorry as a convenience word? we use the word sorry when we accidentally bump into someone or maybe spill something on someone, and it’s a convenient word to use for the situation, yet there are no real feelings of remorse, it’s just a passing comment. But if for example we hurt a loved one in some way then sorry conveys the true meaning of remorse.

Sorry can be a word used to try and avoid retribution or chastisement, this form of sorry occurs a lot in our childhood years, remember when you had done something wrong at home and you pleaded sorry to try and appease the wrath of your parents, or you got caught scrumping apples and you’d say sorry as a means of avoiding a belt round your ears, this form of sorry rarely worked for me as some form of punishment usually followed, either in the form of a pennance, like chopping firewood or in the form of corpral punishment.

Another form of sorry is the sorry that comes when we get caught doing wrong, we are not sorry for doing wrong, but we are sorry for getting caught doing that wrong. Many a time in my childhood days have I been in these situations, the scrumping of apples, and childhood pranks that we’re not sorry for doing but are sorry for getting caught. As adults we may be guilty of such things as infidelity, we are not sorry for sleeping with that beautiful woman or that handsome man but we are very sorry for getting caught

Sorry the excuse, how often have we used sorry as an excuse?  how often have you said to your girlfriend/boyfrind sorry but I can’t see you tonight because I have to work over, when what you are really saying is sorry I can’t see you tonight as I’m having a night out with the boys or girls, this counts as sorry in a decietful form,

Given time I may think up some other uses for the word sorry, but for now I will leave you with what I have

Sorry the genuine

Sorry the convenient

sorry the escape

Sorry for getting caught

Sorry the excuse

Being hopelessly inept at it doesn’t change the fact that I am inordinately impressed whenever I hear somebody press home a point with a succinct, hit-the-nail-on-its-head, idiomatic phrase. In gatherings or social affairs, you won’t be hard-pressed to find the life of the party or the social wit — more often than not, (s)he is the individual who rolls off glib remarks at a drop of a hat, and who leaves the audience chortling, nodding in agreement and inwardly wondering if they’ve somehow missed the point.

I am forever waiting for that opportune moment when I, too, could be imbued with such smooth, rapier-like timing and say something slick like " The eleventh pun always gets a laugh, even if no pun in ten did ." Or at least a just tiny fraction of Piers Anthony’s fertile punny concoctions for his Xanth novels (e.g., Centaur Aisle, Air Apparent, the perennially late character Justin Thyme).

But sad to say, I just don’t have it. More often than not I’d be hampered by a slow mental process (er, slow on the uptake?), sloppy timing, inarticulateness, and occasionally, consideration for the subject (person). Usually, by the time I can think of some sleek repartee, the moment has already passed and everybody else has jumped on to a new topic. If ever I blurt out anything remotely clever and funny at the same time, it’s more of an accident than by design.

Sometimes it makes me wish I had Adam Sandler’s remote control (Click) to make time stop while I reach for my dictionary or ‘List of Witty Things to Say for Every Occasion’. That sure would things simpler, except that it could spoil the momentum or something (spontaneity?).

I guess that’s one reason why I take refuge in writing. Collecting witticisms and devising ways in which they can be delivered with perfect timing and the right amount of deadpan panache isn’t all that hard when you have full control of situations and characters. Moreover, you can always rewrite or dispatch certain characters if you think they’re getting too big for their breeches (or too incoherent). Or something.

While I’m floundering around for a nice clincher to finish off this brief note (*thinking hard*)… uhhh, okay, I give up. I haven’t thought of anything yet, but I’ll get back to you on that as soon as I’ve come up with something subtle or sublimely witty.