Have you ever had an argument with your boyfriend or husband that you couldn’t work out and gone to bed angry? It’s a horrible feeling isn’t it?  It makes you think about your relationship and whether or not you made a mistake being with them.  Sometimes it even makes you wonder what life would be like without him.  It’s not that you really want to break up, you just hate feeling horrible because you are fighting and upset.  Yet, what if you could fix that?  What if you could work out that argument and make things “all better”?  

One of the reasons why people often go to bed  angry with their significant other is because they are tired of fighting and feel like its not getting them anywhere.  What can you do about this? Well, for one thing, you can take a different approach! Yelling at him (or him yelling at you) is not helping anything.  Tell him that you just want to talk, not  yell.  

If your relationship means something to you then you will want to fix problems before they get bigger.  Going to bed angry can only make things harder as the anger will only fester inside you.  Now I am not saying this will work for every relationship and there may be some that are beyond repair, or may need some other help like therapy.  However, isn’t is worth a try?  Sit down with him and tell him (not yell at him) whats on your mind.  If the two of you can work out your issues calmly and quietly you can go to bed with a smile on your face! Give it a try!

1.   You bite down all your finger nails and then start biting on other people’s nails.

2.   You overcook a steak and undercook the vegetables. When the family complains, you tell them to Eat It!

3.   You start flinging CDs around like they are frisbees.

4.   You crack your knuckles over and over again.  Next, you start biting your lip over and over again.  Finally, you start beating your chest over and over again.  It gets particularly annoying when you start jumping up and down hollering, “Who the hell stole my Pee Wee Herman DVD collection?”

5.   You kick the flat tire as if it will come back to life. When that fails, you try to lift your car up just like Superman.  Unfortunately, you only manage to throw out your back.

6.   You rub your head constantly to see the dandruff flakes falling out.  You comment how they look just like snowflakes. You then collect the dandruff and put it in your coffee to add as a sweetener.

7.    You yell at your dog to do tricks like roll over and play dead. This wouldn’t be so bad except that you don’t even have a dog.

8.   You start repeating Jay Leno comedy routines in your sleep.  You even try to copy his looks and his mannerisms.

9.   You look at your gun and knife collection and start singing, “These are a few of my most favorite things.”

10.  You start smoking too much.  Your friends starting calling you Puff the Magic Dragon. 

11.  You start drinking too much and begin imagining that you are on a date with Gomer Pyle.

12.  You rip apart diapers just for the fun of it.  It gets worse.  You start chugging down baby formula.

13.  You start vacuuming constantly. You vacuum the kitchen five times a day.  You vacuum the living room ten times a day.  It gets worse. You accidentally vacuum up your cat. The vacuum explodes and you are in a state of tears.

14.  You throw a tantrum when you notice one leaf is still on your lawn.  You pick up the leaf and rip it to shreds. You then scold the offending tree.

15.  You yell, “Long live Donald Duck.”  You then quack around the house until two in the morning. If a neighbor tells you to knock it off, you hurl eggs at your neighbor’s house.

Stranger: What the fuck do you want bitch?

M: Excuse me? Who’s this?

S: It’s me you fucking idiot.

M: What.. who?

S: It’s Mel, god.. who else you fucking fucktard.

M: Mel? Melissa? Melissa Davies!? SHIT! That’s hot, this is so going in my journal!

S: Fucking dickhead it’s me Mel Gibson. Who in the fuck is Melissa Davies?

M: I dunno the name sounds hot.

Mel Gibson: Shut the fuck up you scantily clad whore. You listen to me and you listen to me good: I HATE YOU! I DON’T NEED YOU! I’LL TAKE CARE OF MY CHILD BUT I DON’T NEED YOU I DON’T WANT YOU!

M: Man.. wtf? Look, Mel, I know you’ve been going through a lot, but I’m not your ex-wife man.. take it out on someone else. I’ve really got a lot of homework to get through so if you could just-

MG: NO! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP WOMAN AND FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! You and your lies! I swear you and YOUR LIES! You never told me but I knew, I KNEW THOSE WERE FAKE BOOBS I KNEW IT.

M: Mel, dude, calm bro I’m not Oksana-

MG: NO SHUT IT. I KNOW who you are, don’t lie to me you fucking bitch. Those fake tits of yours, they’re fucking RIDICULOUS. You know? You dress so provocatively, it’s your own fault if you ever get raped by a bunch of nig-

Ridiculous..? Fuck off!

M: ALRIGHT FUCK YOU GIBSON. YOU BIGOTED, RACIST MOTHERFUCKER I’VE HAD JUST ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR SHITHEADED RAMBLING.

MG: NO FUCK YOU, YOU RUSSIAN SLUTWHORE.

M: You know what this Russian slutwhore is doing Gibs?

MG: Yeah I do, you’re sucking cock – lots and lots of cock. You love cock, I remember I gave you a bow-tie wrapped cock for Christmas. You fucking loved it.

M: No fuckface, I’m writing a letter. It goes something like this:

“Dear faggot, I hope you have fun insulting the major religions of the world all at once by romping the Earth as if you were God. Also, I hope you enjoy continuing to daily reduce the little Asian boy who delivers your newspaper to tears by mocking his eyes and penis size. Why? Because once you’ve had all your fun karma will kick your fucking ass to hell and beyond and I shall delight at said sight.

Love from the guy who is NOT your ex-wife.”

MG: The boy isn’t Asian, he’s part Hispanic and Arab. Why would I tell a mix of terrorists and slaves that he has a small penis? That’s just offensive.

M: Your face is offensive.

MG: Your face is fucking HOT but bitch I FUCKING HATE YOU.

M: HOW CAN YOU HATE ME YOU DON’T KNOW WHO I AM.

MG: Shut up bitch. I know who you are and you know who you are and I know that you know that I know who you are. So don’t treat me like a FUCKING IDIOT ALRIGHT?

M: Gibson, your first name is a woman’s fucking name. And complete with your incessant bitching I think I can see your vagina from here. Fucking pussy. I’m done talking to you, retards will be retards. So TOODALOO MOTHERFUCKERRRRR-

MG: OI YOU FAKE-TITTED SLUTMONSTER GET BACK HERE.

M: ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MG: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU AREN’T GOING UNTIL I LET YOU GO.

M: ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MG: STOP IT! STOP IT IT IT.

M: *gulp of breath* FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MG: Please.. please just stop it.

M: NO, ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MG: Come on man.. I’m sorry alright? I’m fucking sorry! *cries cries*

M: ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[Sometime later]

M: ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.. Gibson? Hey, faggot?

*silence*

M: Oi, where are you? Oh well, that was an interesting phone conversation. [Hang up] Back to that homework!

*NEWSFLASH*

Melissa Davies: Good evening, this is Melissa Davies and I am outside the house of Academy award winning actor Mel Gibson.

Me: Hey, it’s Melissa!

MD: Gibson was found 2 hours ago drowned in his front fountain with traces of cocaine, ecstasy, a strong dose of animal tranquilizer, chipotle sauce and semen down the front of his shirt. His maid claimed she heard him screaming on the phone before he took the object between his canines and proceeded to rampage through his 17-storey villa.

She witnessed him tearing down his beloved paintings of the devil and other evil and occult demonic figures he worships. She then apparently tried to restrain him when he flung her to the wall which knocked her out. Upon waking she searched desperately for Gibson before finally finding him in the fountain.

Me: Ohhhhh, so that’s where he went.

MD: The reason for this unexplained rage is still unexplained but forensic investigators and the myth and ghostbusters working as a team are on the job. The phone inside Gibson’s mouth had recorded the phone conversation with an apparently unidentified person. We have an exclusive copy of this conversation here:

“MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR..”

It is still uncertain as to whether it is an actual person that was on the other end yelling for 14 hours. That’s all for now more as it comes, I’m Melissa Davies and I’m hot!

Me: Damn Mel Gibson, him and his fucking retarded friends. And yes Melissa, yes you are hot! Yes you are ;D

*Super Wink!*

You can say something as loud as you want and with as much passion and force as you can muster, but it still doesn’t make it true.

I’ve seen this just recently in a discussion with some of my grown-up friends and acquaintances.  They have been debating an issue but using personal feelings instead of factual statements to back up their claims.  They need to learn what those two kindergarteners learned.  Back up what you say with facts instead of a lot of hot air.  It’ll get you a lot further.

What do you think?  Does passion and force make-up for a lack of facts?

Happiness, joy, peace-of-mind, love are heavenly feelings, while fear, sadness, pain, tortured-mind, hate, anger and greed represent hellish feelings. Fact is we can eliminate hell for good in our life. How? By keeping a positive attitude at all times. It’s easy to be positive when things are going our way. We can radiate an image of happiness and we can be really a good guy during those times. But it’s during those rough times that staying up-beat is difficult. When things aren’t going our way this is when we are susceptible and prone to be angry, to be sad and at worst to be greedy and to hate. That’s why it’s of utmost importance that we don’t categorize things, people and events as “good” or “bad”. Everything has a purpose and if we can only stop panicking when things are not going the way we wanted to be and focus instead on what we can learn from those trying moments, then heaven can actually be wherever we are and whatever we are doing right now. If we can only keep an open mind, every unpleasant thing, person or event we encounter has in itself a “message” or a “lesson” that we are meant to learn. Example: Winning is heaven while losing in hell but if we could only treat losing just a learning stage in our eventual quest for victory, then there’s really no such thing as hell, right?

The magic word for heaven is actually “peace-of-mind”, because it encompasses everything (happiness, joy and love). I don’t know if you will agree with me but material/physical comfort (and sufferings) is also a state of mind thing. How many of us are facing a giant-screen t.v. at home, while being laden with problems and having a troublesome mind. Are we watching the show? Are we enjoying the soft bed we are lying down if we are tortured by guilt, pain and inability to sleep?

When your stomach is churning in panic, hey I don’t care how comfortable and cool that room is you’ll break into cold sweat, right? Yet imagine a situation when we are at-peace (you do the imagining). Heck, everything is fun and we can appreciate and enjoy every little detail of our blessings.

Just like angels and devils. Try this, tell the people beside you, “There’s an angel (or there’s a devil) beside you” notice that person will immediately stare at something invisible. Never will they imagine that it’s him/her we are pertaining to. Fact is angels and devils are really the 2 sides of our personality. When you just helped someone, when you are in love, happy and at peace, look at the mirror. That’s angel for you. But when you are raging and violently angry, thrashing things around, yelling at the top of your voice. If you could only peep through the mirror ,you are looking at a devil himself.

Of course, we cannot deny that there are spiritual angels and devils hovering around us. But it all starts and ends with us. If we surround ourselves with positive thoughts and intentions, then we need not die to go to heaven. Heaven is right here, right now. By doing so, we are also attracting and drawing all the spiritual angels to us. But if we have nothing in mind but manipulation, greed, anger, hate and other negativities, then it’s like a magnet drawing all the negative vibes to us, thus we are devils residing in a hell.

I think I know why it is. It is not one thing, it is the combination of several things and a lack of understanding that the person on the other end is real, and has feelings, just as much as we do.

1. Text is Harsh

   For the most part anything we say on-line is going to be harsher than said in a conversation where a tone can soften a negative comment. Font is crisp, black on white, cut and dry. CAPS ARE YELLING, so are even harsher. Basically anything said in type is more formal, more stern, and therefore taken harder, to some this may seem like a threat that they have to fight against.

2. Gamer Mentality

   I gotta win. Every conversation is a challenge, every chat room is a show of wit, or who can get the most said, or who can dominate, who can be the last one standing. This mentality has created a whole personality type, that of the chat room Flamer. Every thing on-line is a contest. They read things and just hope there is a place at the bottom so they can make a comment, so eager to ensure they get the last word in everything.

3. Words cannot hurt me

   They fight with venom in text. Knowing that nothing the other person can say will ever harm them physically. Strangers in an on-line assault, their only weapons are words, insults, and rude comments. They call each other names without any concern.

4. No Eyes

   It is easier to insult somebody when you are not face to face, live, with that person. We tend to feel a bit more sympathy to people we can see, hear, or touch. It is easier to break up with a partner over the phone, even easier over the Internet. If you do not have to look into somebodies eyes, to see the pain of the words you inflict, it is so much easier.

5. No Consequence

   In real life, if you insult somebody the way some on-line insults go, your group of friends would shrink, as few people, other than similar bullies, would hang out with you, people would shun you, or call you to task for your negativity.

6. Easy

   Many sites offer people to either give a positive or negative response, a “thumbs up” or a “thumbs down”. Since you are neither reward or punished for being nice or mean, it is easy to be negative to another person.

7. Don’t Look Back

   Often times a person posts an insult and never checks back to see if the person they insulted responded, or they insult somebody, then “block” them from replying.

8. Anonymity

   This is a big one. When you are on-line you can be anyone. You can be Suzy123 in a chat room, and Big Matt in a forum, qwerty when posting a comment, and Ilovekittens when posting a blog. You can swear, belittle, insult, or whatever, and it never ever touches who you really are. Or does it?

When you insult others on-line you create a negative world, a world were everyone feels they have to be defensive. It might only be an on-line world, but people live beyond that world and are affected by what is said to them, even if it is only in hard, sterile, text. Nothing has been improved by being negative only for the sake of being negative.

True, nobody is going to like everything, and not everything is going to be liked, but why hurt somebody by being negative? It is better to show compassion to another persons efforts and criticize them honestly. When a person asks “Do you like this picture of me?” rather than typing in “Man you are some kinda ugly, did you come out of a toilet for that photo?” it is just as easy to write “Sorry you are not my type, the photo is too dark also.”.

We have the power to make the real world better, we have the power to make the on-line world better. Not everything is a game or a challenge. Not everything is a foe to be fought.