Attraction
by Reflections on love and relationships.
The other day, i was watching a television show that is on every year at christmas time. I wasn’t going to watch the movie cause I have seen it before too many times. HOwever, nothing else was on so i watched it. The movie got me thinking about love and the attractions that are experienced thereof.
In the movie, the woman didn’t even realize she was attracted the man until she started dancing with him. She ended up making an excuse to stop dancing and then left with her cheeks all flushed red. The thing is that she was only doing some ballroom dancing. She hadn’t even kissed him or gotten close to him before that. All she ever did was see him and talk to him about her job.
My point is that i like this kind of love and attraction. This kind of love and attraction is simple and not founded on the basis of what the body looks or feels like. It is based on who the person is and their personality. It is love based on who the person is, not what the person looks like naked. Nor is it based on if you can make sex feel good.
It made me wonder if the way we enter into relationships is the reason why so many relationships end quickly. It made me wonder if people base their decisions on their sex life to decide if they want to marry someone. This makes me ask “what if you did have great sex but you just couldn’t stand the person’s personality?” Does the great sex make one blind to the person’s faults and negative qualities?
Would it be better for people if they would go back to loving and entering into relationships like the way they did it way back when? Would it be better to not jump into the sack and instead get to know each other first? Would it help us to see the person the way they really are if we didn’t have the sex in the beginning of the relationship? Would it help us to stop staying in relationships that aren’t good for us?
I think it would be so much better for society if we loved first by getting to know each other on a non-sexual basis.
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Post CommentJasin
On December 30, 2008 at 4:01 am
We try to set sex aside, it doesnt always work.
Dirk
On December 30, 2008 at 11:35 am
It’s very seductive to believe the simpler times & approaches were simpler. I’m thinking from what my Mother has shared with me of her own experiences, it’s maybe not as simple as all that.
I’ve known cases where waiting proved nearly as disastrous as a rush to physical gratification. Sexuality early or late isn’t what clouds our vision, it seems to me. It’s as likely to be seeing what we WANT to see…sometimes that desire can be surprisingly resistant to reality, to the ruin of both…just one broken-down, baggy-eyed, gray-haired old fool’s opinion.
Kay Bee
On January 3, 2009 at 12:00 am
Hey, Dirk:
I get what you are saying about disastrous consequences whether a person waits or if they don’t. You seem to be speaking of googoo eye attraction. Right now I forget the word since I haven’t used it often. Infatuation! This is the word I am looking for. This is the type of attraction where the person is so happy to be with thier coveted prize (the other person)that they do not see the person as they really are.
I also find that once I have stopped dating a guy, he is more himself and I see his personality better. It is so odd how it seems that they are careful to hide thier faults while dating, yet they are at ease when just being friends. I actually love them more when we are friends then when i did when we were just dating. Yea, I often keep exes as friends. It works for me and the guy though it may not work for others. I am just happy to still have someone I love still in my life though not in the capacity they were before.